Part two, “Like a Virgin…”
By Anne Gooding
Rating: R for language, and sexual references.
Note: There are some situations in this series, which may offend. If they do, good J
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“Aaargghh! Do you know who he hangs out with?” Jen squealed. Joey shook her head. “No—who?” she had just told Jen about her conquests.
“Chris Wolfe, Pacey Witter and Mitchell Carving. Otherwise known as The Crew. A stupid name considering, but…”
Joey looked blank for a few moments, then a look of knowing passed over her face.
“The guys who—“
“Poisoned Sister Maree, burnt down the boy’s school’s Science block, and hosted the biggest, baddest and most-cops-ever- to raid party last year.” Jen finished off excitedly.
“And you’re dating one of them.”
“He doesn’t seem like that.” Joey said in surprise.
“Yes, well, you don’t really know him.” Jen pulled on her skirt, grimacing, “Wedgie. Damn g-strings.” Joey nodded in agreement. Sure, they had kissed, but she didn’t really know him, though she was certain that by now, they were going out.
It had been two days since he had come over, and the day before she had moved back to her old school, with Jen, plus had lunch with Dawson. They talked about everything from school to parents to parties to friends—she loved talking to him, he was insightful, honest and funny. And the way he made her feel—putting his hand on her knee, kissing her cheek, playing with her hair.
Joey looked down at her new uniform. Navy skirt, white top with navy jacket. Very uncool. She looked out of place, while Jen looked fantastic, as usual.
The school was all-girls, but smaller, and much more fun because she had Jen there. The other girls were nice enough, a lot seemed very…’catholic’ though Joey was certain that was not the case.
“Did you just say Chris Wolfe?” a girl with blonde hair, sharp features and a thin neck leaned over her desk, twirling her pencil. Andie McPhee, Bitchonnaire. Well, she wasn’t that bad, but she and Joey used to be square enemies and rivals. Now they just insulted each other.
“Yeah. So?” Jen retorted. “So? What’s he done now? He’s sort of my boyfriend, you know.”
“I’m sure.” Jen laughed. “You and every other girl in New York.”
“As if he’d go out with only you, Andie-poo.” Joey added on. “He prefers a variety.”
Andie rolled her eyes. “Like you can talk, sluts. I’ve heard you prefer a variety too.”
Jen and Joey gasped indignantly.
“Go bake some cookies.” Joey said in disdain, As Jen barked, “At least we’re getting some!”
“Why’d you move here, Joseph?” Andie spat out. “The last thing we need is your anorexic butt crushing our seats.”
“Well, Dawson Leery seems to like her anorexic ass.” Jen said sweetly. “They’re dating. Officially. Miranda told me, and she never lies.” A look of anger and surprise flickered over Andie’s face, but she covered it up.
“Hmm.” She snorted. She whisked around and her friend started to whisper to her.
“Any-waaay…” Jen said loudly. Then she lowered her voice. “Guess what I scored?”
“What? Ecstacy?”
Jen shook her head, rolling her eyes, then looked around. No one was looking, they were all gossiping, or doing their History.
She picked up her bag and beckoned for Joey to peer inside. Inside was a chequebook, “Maria Castelli” printed on it, along with a black wallet that obviously wasn’t Jen’s. Joey picked it out, and flipped through it, gasping.
ID. Credit cards. Drivers licence. The girl had black curly hair. “Too bad she’s not blonde—but I could say I dyed it.” Jen said. “How’d you get this?” Joey asked excitedly.
“It was in the taxi I was in today.” Jen whispered. “This afternoon I’m going shopping with Betty and Abby, okay? Then we’ll stop at your mom’s house tonight. Be there.” Joey nodded eagerly.
****
The three girls trooped in at seven, armed with two big brown paper bags. Joey clapped her hands and they all sat around the floor in her room. “I’ll call Miranda and let her know about the loot.” Jen said.
Miranda was a very popular, very beautiful senior, who had actually given Leonardo DiCaprio a blow- job at a party once. Considering she had sucked a Hollywood move star, she was considered royalty, (There had been witnesses) but she played it down very well.
Abby emptied the bag, then held up the items like she was in a TV commercial. Tampax, Dexatrim, Slim Fast, Nice’N’Easy, Revlon mascara’s and lipsticks, Blow Dryers, curlers… they had spent $300, using the credit card.
“Where’d you get all that stuff?” Lillian stood in the doorway of Joey’s room. “Jen bought it.” Joey said quickly. Jen, who was dialling Miranda, simpered over in the corner.
“Uh-huh.” Lillian frowned, but retreated to her room.
Abby giggled and threw a box of Trojan Ribbed colored Condoms at Joey.
Joey shrieked. “What are these for?”
“Shhh!” Jen hissed. “Miranda? Hi, it’s Jen, you’ll never believe…” Joey threw the box at Jen, who laughed.
“What do you think?” Betty giggled.
Jen put the phone down after inviting Miranda over, and picked up the box. “I know someone who’ll be needing them soon.” She said in a sing-song voice. She threw them at Joey, and they hit the side of her blushing face.
“All sex must be safe sex.” Jen said seriously, shaking her finger.
“I can’t believe you’re going to boink him.” Abby said, sighing. “He’s like, friends with the most popular guys. Hell, he is so popular.” Joey thought, My god, she’s such a bubble brain she never went around saying, ‘oh my god he’s so popular!’
Joey read the box. “Ribbed…? What do those do?” she said in a silly high voice, knowing pretty well what they were supposed to do.
Jen, Abby and Betty collapsed with laughter.
“Joey, when you have sex make sure it’s lying down.” Jen said, sitting down next to her. She reached over and grabbed a lipstick. “Because it hurts when you stand up and it’s like, your first time.”
Joey rolled her eyes. “Jen, how do you even know he wants to have sex with me?”
Abby started choking on her beer, and Betty looked at her nails not too subtly.
Jen giggled. “He does, trust me.” Jen said quickly.
“Has he fingered you yet?”
Joey shook her head.
“Hmm…you’re not missing out on much. It’s not very nice. It’s like putting in tampons for the first time, but worse, because they think they know what they’re doing, but they don’t…you know?”
Abby and Betty giggled and shared knowing looks. Jen raised an eyebrow at Betty. “I doubt you know.” Betty blushed uneasily.
“Except with that gang, you never know what it’s going to be like, because they’re experienced…” Jen continued to Joey, shrugging.
Miranda walked in the door, and sat herself down on the bed. “You guys are unbelievable for sixteen year olds.” She laughed dryly, taking in all the products on the floor. “Thankyou.” Jen replied smoothly. “I better hurry up and buy more stuff before her credit card is cancelled…if it is, I’ll use cheques and say she’s my mommy.”
After a few moments of checking out the stuff, Miranda launched into gossip-mode. “So, I was over at Chris’s the other night, right, and he’s telling me all this shit, true shit, and so Mitchell’s turning into this sex maniac, so about a few weeks ago he raped his girlfriend Sandra, so she dumped him, and roped Pacey, then Dawson, then Brad, then Toby, and now she’s the biggest Chicken head slut, and it’s like, serves you right---no one dumps Mitchell Carving.”
Abby, Betty and Jen nodded in agreement.
“He raped her?” Joey exclaimed.
“The ho deserved it.” Miranda said, picking up a waxing kit.
“But any fuck with that crew is a good fuck, so now she’s famous, and so she gets all the best party invitations.”
“Remind me to steer clear of Mitchell.” Joey said. She then added, “Did she—really have sex with Dawson?”
Jen patted her leg. “Honey, Sandra’s a slut. Guys like that have to have sex with them—they beg for it. You’re a lady. You’re his girlfriend, which means he likes you the best anyway.”
Miranda nodded in agreement.
“I overheard him talking about you today. He was all, ‘she’s so sweet.’ You’re very lucky, Joey. Only the best girls get to actually date famous guys like them.” Joey nodded, her mouth tight.
“And you’re one of them.” Jen laughed. Miranda’s official boyfriend was Chris.
“Besides…” Miranda added. “He slept with her before you two started dating…” Jen and Abby swapped glances.
“Ohhh…” Joey said, feeling a little better. She wasn’t too sure about rules of dating, but the thought of him with anyone else made her weary, and sick with a jealous rage.
“What about you?” Joey asked Jen. “Do you have a boyfriend yet Jen?” she had forgotten.
“Oh god no, Jen’s not into that. She likes a variety. She likes to get nice with all sorts of guys…’ Betty laughed.
Jen glowered. “Shove it, Betts. Godforsaken herb.” Betty scowled. “I wasn’t insulting you.” Jen rolled her eyes.
Joey knew that Jen wasn’t, well—a ‘lady’, and that it didn’t bother her in the slightest.
Abby whispered to Joey, “They all call Jen a ‘shook one’.” Joey wasn’t familiar with the term. “Someone who likes having sex…” Abby continued. “That’s her rep at our school.”
Jen lit a cigarette.
****
It was Saturday night the next week, and Joey was over at Jen’s, getting ready for the party. In about an hour Dawson and his friends would be picking them up.
It had been ages since she had been to a party, and Jen was running through some guidelines with her.
“These parties can get pretty wild.” Jen said, applying blush to Joey’s cheekbone.
“Never leave your drink alone…the place will be crawling with sleazes. If possible, hang with your guy so you’ll look good. Smoke if you want too, snort if you wish, but never, and I repeat never inject yourself with anything—those needles are just disgusting.”
Joey nodded her head, to show she understood, which she did. Jen was wearing a tiny black skirt, matching blouse and clogs. Joey hoped Jen wouldn’t need any—‘assistance.’ In that outfit she’d attract a gay guy.
Joey was wearing a stretch jersey grey skirt, and pink tank top. It was a warm night. The doorbell rang, signalling their chauffer’s arrival. They grabbed their bags and teetered out.
When they slid into the car, Jen started to giggle. Chris was in the back, Miranda on his lap, and next to them were Pacey. He and Jen exchanged smiles. They had never actually met one on one, though they heard quite a lot about the other. Joey slid in front next to her boyfriend, who placed a hand on her knee.
Mitchell was holding the door open. He sat down on the other side of Joey, and to her disgust, squeezed her waist suggestively. She wriggled a bit, hoping he’d get the hint, but he didn’t.
Only when Dawson noticed Mitchell’s wandering hand and sent him a look did he let go. There was only one, loose rule these boys went by—never sleep with a friend’s girlfriend. It just wasn’t done if they wanted to keep on good terms. It had been done before, and it had always ended up in a big fight, and lots of dramas.
The guys started up a conversation about some ‘free crib’ (Joey found out later that meant a no-parents zone) they had been to the week before, and then it twisted into Sandra and how ‘ill’ she had been. After that, they started singing along loudly to Bad Touch, and Joey was glad when they pulled up in front of the apartment the party was being held in—the party was for Chris, who was turning eighteen.
Where Dawson lived was huge—positively a penthouse. “His old man owns like, three publishing companies.” Jen whispered to Joey. Joey wondered how Jen knew this and she didn’t. Jen propelled herself into the crowd, and was greeted by about four males at the same time. Joey looked around as Dawson pulled her up the stairs.
Miranda waved saucily, and Joey stuck her tongue out. He was only taking her on a tour.
The place was very modern and bare—probably cleared away so nothing would get stolen. Already it was filled with people, and Dawson swore under his breath when he tried his bedroom doorknob and it was locked.
He banged on the door. “Hey, you stupid fucks! Don’t mess in my room!”
A moment later, a red-faced couple sidled out. “The bathroom, okay? The bathroom. Not my room.” He shook his head, and grabbed Joey’s hand. “Lets get something to drink.” She glanced in his room and saw a double bed, dresser, desk, huge stereo and a laptop. It was very simple—but there was something extraordinary in it. A huge window, which substituted for a wall, looked over Manhattan. Huge buildings, lights and in the distance Joey swore she could see the bridge.
“Good view, huh?” he grinned and pulled her into his arms, kissing her.
She ran her hands through his hair and felt the rest of the party disappear. At that moment, nothing else really mattered…she was falling for this guy, and quick.
About two hours after she had arrived, Joey started to realize that everyone was acting really weird. They were laughing non-stop about stupid things, dancing to themselves, making funny noises, and the music got louder. She stayed by Dawson’s side the entire time, as he talked to people. Girls sent her envious looks. Joey saw Jen and Pacey getting it on on the stairs, and she giggled.
“Man, everyone here is high.” Dawson whispered to her.
“Are you?” she whispered back. “Maybe.” His arm tightened around her. She inhaled a few puffs, but she didn’t really feel as if she was high. She just felt giddy, and horny. She was kissing him again, holding his hands steady on her ass.
They went upstairs, and into his bedroom. Once inside, he started to take her shirt off, and she fumbled at his shirt buttons. They kissed, then they were on his bed, kissing, touching….her eyelids felt heavy….his hands seemed to have stopped…
**** When she came to, the sun was shining. Dawson’s head was resting on her breast….she still had her bra on. And her skirt. He was still half-clothed too. Oh my god! she panicked. They had fallen asleep!
Shifting his arm, she slowly got out of the bed, and threw her shirt back on.
She tiptoed out, and stared, shocked, at the house. There was no one there. It was like…they had all vanished into thin air. How had everyone managed to get home? The place was spotless. But then Joey saw a small, dark woman, with a big black bag and a hoover in the corner of the living room. A maid, obviously.
What time was it? She looked at a small clock resting on an adjacent wall. Noon! she gasped, and tore down the stairs. “Have a good party?” the woman said sarcastically.
Joey shrugged. The woman sighed. “I don’t get why people like getting stoned and having sex while they’re not even sober. It’s so disgusting…used condoms everywhere…”
Joey nodded, feigning interest, though she was starting to feel a bit light-headed.
“See ya.” She raced out the door, and didn’t stop running till she got home, twenty minutes later.
****
“We ending up fucking up against the shower in the bathroom.”
Jen was telling Joey about her sexual adventures with Pacey.
“It was really, really, good. How about you? Come on…” Joey shook her head.
“We fell asleep. Does that mean—he thinks I’m boring? I mean…”
“Well—that happens. I mean, you two looked really tired when you were going up the stairs.” Jen said sympathetically.
Joey hoped that was it.
****
She saw him the next Saturday, and they laughed about falling asleep. He reassured her it was NOT because she was boring. “I had a dream about you….but that wasn’t enough.” He said, kissing her neck as they walked in Central Park.
“Uhh—You probably know this, but I’ve never…” she struggled to say it. “I’m a…”
“Virgin? I…uh, gathered.” He answered.
Joey blushed. “I was that bad…?”
“Hell no, we established that.” He kissed her hand.
“You just didn’t seem—the type. And a few other things. But I wasn’t very sure, I mean—we don’t know each other very well.”
“Do we know enough?” Joey asked.
“Yes—but I want to know more.” Dawson put an arm around her and she grinned crookedly. She then punched his arm lightly. “More in what respect?”
“Both.” He grinned.
They went back to his place, and made out on his bed. He didn’t have any condoms with him (Which was surprising) so they decided they wouldn’t take the risk, they’d wait. Joey didn’t tell him, but she wanted it to be…well, special. She didn’t want either of them to be drunk, or high.
That afternoon she let him touch her, though. He was careful, and he knew exactly where to touch her, so it was good. They then ordered Pizza and ate it, looking out over the twinkling lights of the city.
They saw each other then following Friday, and after drinking some Wine from his dad’s gallery and leftover garlic bread and pasta from last night’s dinner, got a little wild on the couch. She gave him a hand job, a first for her, then they fooled around in his parent’s spa with only their underwear on.
“Where have you been lately?” her father asked her when she walked in the door at 2am, smiling, damp haired and giddy.
“A friends.” She answered nonchalantly.
“Hmm, I’m sure.” Her stepmother, Isobel, answered archly.
“Why so late, kiddo?” he tousled her hair.
“We…forget the time…” Joey laughed. Isobel crossed her arms and glared at her. Joey glared back.
Joey could hear them arguing later on. “She’s turning into a little slut right before your very eyes.” Isobel hissed.
“Bullshit.” Her father yelled. “My daughter has always been, and will always be the good girl. Okay? She knows what to do, she’s a smart kid.”
“Smart? SMART? She’s the dumbest kid I know.” Isobel shrieked. “She’s naïve…all she thinks about is herself…”
Joey shook with rage. That was not true! Her stepmother was a bitch normally, but this was going too far. Isobel Walters was going down!
****
TO BE CONTINUED…
For the third time, Joey rewound the scene in Titanic where Rose and Jack were getting comfy in the car, and studied it closely. Rose was (or, had been) definitely a virgin, and she seemed to enjoy it. Would having sex with him be like that? Sweating, tender, kissing…Joey felt little shudders of excitement run up and down her spine, and they intensified when she thought over her previous conversation with her boyfriend that morning, when he had walked her to school.
“My dad and stepmother are gonna be away till tomorrow.” She was telling him. “They’re in Paris, and I’m so jealous…I hope dad brings me back something chic and expensive. So, basically I’m gonna be all alone tonight…”
“Free apartment, huh?” Dawson teased her, and she giggled. “Uh-huh…you can come over, you know, if you want too.”
“Oh, well, I was gonna go to Chris’s party—“ Joey lowered her eyes in disappointment, and he continued, “But I’d rather spend tonight alone with my girlfriend.” He said casually, wrapping his arms around her waist. She smiled and gazed at him. “Me too.” He had pulled her really close, and kissed her passionately, right in front of the kids hanging out in front of the Subway. They all whistled, and one of Dawson’s friends called out, “Get a room, guys.”
So—they would be all alone, in this big apartment, both of them wanting one thing most of all. Joey took a deep breath. She had casually mentioned it to Jen, who had in turn told her a few things Joey wished she hadn’t, because it made her even more nervous.
“Lick his balls and suck his head.” Joey choked on her chocolate milk, and Abby and Betty both exploded into giggles as they blew more circles of smoke into the air.
Joey wanted to tell Jen to slow down, she had no intention of…that, but she didn’t want to look like a loser.
“Wax your bikini area, too.” Jen sat down next to Joey on the grass and brushed some ants from her legs.
“You don’t want him to get turned off.”
Joey just shrugged nonchalantly.
“I dare you to fuck him in your parents bed.” Jen then said excitedly.
“Jen, calm down.” Joey hissed. “Stop it, okay! You’re making it worse!”
“No, I’m making it real.” Jen interrupted.
“You wanna do it right. You wear tampons, right?” Joey nodded.
“Ok, then it won’t be so bad, except…he’s well, considerably larger then the average male…” Jen stopped and Joey raised both her brows. “How do you know?”
“So I’ve heard.” Jen corrected herself.
The class bell rang, and for once Jen collected her things up on time. “Gotta go—toots, call me tomorrow, okay? You promise?”
“Promise.” They kissed cheeks, then Jen left.
Abby and Betty stubbed out their cigarettes and more kisses were exchanged, though not many words were spoken. They may have been in the same circle but they didn’t know each other intimately. They were all joined through Jen, and Joey personally thought they acted like the two hyenas following Scar in The Lion King.
Now here she was, watching love scenes on TV, her palms sweating. The doorbell rang. Joey jumped off the couch, and pressed stop.
She checked her looks in the hall mirror. Pretty much acceptable, comfortable, but pretty, with black leggings, tight black tank top, pink lipgloss and lots of John Freida hair straightening balm.
She opened the door cautiously (You can never be too careful in New York) and was relieved to see his familiar face grinning at her. He looked hot in a tight white shirt, jeans and a dark brown jacket. His hair was spiked up and damp thanks to early February rain. She inhaled his cologne, something warm and spicy he always wore (And no doubt expensive) and felt herself melting.
“Hey,” he grinned, and stepped into the apartment, shutting the door behind him. He put his hands on her waist and gave her a long, lingering kiss. Joey felt her knees weaken and she almost asked him to please, rip off her shirt now. But she refrained herself, and took his jacket, hung it up, and led him into the living room.
“Nice.” He commented, checking out the carpets, expensive paintings and gold plates.
“Daddy’s an investor.” Joey said in a fake high voice. He squeezed her hand.
She showed him the bathrooms, the kitchen, the TV room, study, dining room, than finally, her bedroom. The bed is too small she thought critically. It was a single mattress. Maybe the whole parents thing wasn’t a bad idea.
“I’m starved.” Joey said, leading him out of the bedroom.
They rummaged through the fridge for food, eventually coming out with soup, which they reheated, and a bottle of Red Pinot Noir from her dad’s wine cellar. “He’s got so much, he won’t notice it’s gone,” she laughed.
They settled down in front of the TV to watch the fast-paced drama, ER. It was a good one—the finale when George Clooney was rumoured to return. But they never got to see if he did.
Halfway through, he had pounced on her. Their kisses grew in seriousness, leaving Joey breathless and Dawson obviously uncomfortable and flustered. As soon as Joey realized the remote was sticking into her back, she decided they should move. Pulling him towards the room, they continued to kiss, and as soon as she shut her bedroom door behind her he lifted her arms and pulled her slinky top off. It landed on top of her lampshade, which she promptly flicked off so the room was shrouded in darkness.
She lay down on her bed and he slid on top of her, starting to inch down her leggings.
“You don’t mind, do ya?” he murmured in her ear, and she shook her head hurriedly. Oh god no---she was busy trying to figure out how to slip his shirt off…his skin was so warm and he was so hard against her.
He kissed her sloppily, passionately, his tongue massaging hers, his hand cupping her face, his other one cupping her breast. He then undid her bra, threw that aside, and took her nipple into his mouth. She gasped, thinking she would go crazy. She finally got his shirt off, and then he undid his jeans as he slipped down the bed, edging her leggings off, and then throwing them on the floor. He inched up until he was eye level with her white and pink floral panties, (Damn it! Why didn’t I wear black?” Joey cursed herself) and then he hooked his thumbs into the sides. Suddenly, Joey’s breath got caught in her throat, and her heart started to beat so fast she was afraid it would jump out of her skin.
“Hey, it’s okay—if you don’t want to.” He whispered, sensing her naivety. “I—I—just don’t think you want to do that.” Joey whispered back uncertainly.
“Oh, yes I do.” He grinned. “Joey baby, honestly, this feels really good…If you just relax, I’ll show you…trust me.”
His words excited and calmed her down a little, so she shrugged. “Okay then…” wriggling, she made it easier for him to take her panties off. Gently easing her thighs open, he caressed his thumb over her labia. She couldn’t control the oncoming moan, and closed her eyes as his mouth slid down her belly…further…further… “Ohh…” she gasped, digging her nails into his shoulders. 4 minutes and one orgasm later, Joey lay in his arms, kissing his jaw line softly.
“That was nice.” She confirmed. “Told you so.” He murmured, squeezing her breast. She could feel his hard on digging into her thigh, and she gently brushed her fingers over it. His eyes changed, and he let out a gruff noise somewhere between a sigh and a moan.
It made Joey feel powerful to have this impact on him, and she grazed her fingers over his boxers again. He gently took her hand in his, and slipped it down his boxers. She knew what he wanted to do, and so she did it, softly, and a bit clumsily, too, but he didn’t mind. After he came into her hand, the liquid squeezing down her knuckles and onto her stomach, she suggested slyly they took a bath. She was feeling a bit more loose, and much happier and comfortable.
“Thought you’d never ask.” He laughed. By the time he left at 5:00am, Joey kissing him warmly in her dressing gown by the door before he left, the bathroom and bedroom looked different, and so did she. In the bathroom there was water everywhere, two wine glasses had been knocked over, and in her bedroom sheets and clothes were strewn over furniture. Herself…her cheeks were glowing, her eyes were sparkling. They hadn’t ‘made love’ not yet—that would be an extra special occasion. She just hadn’t felt comfortable that evening, actually doing…that.
****
“So…did he rip your panties off with his teeth??” Jen had called at noon on Saturday, whilst Joey was still asleep, and it had taken four calls to wake her up.
“Jen…” Joey’s cheeks went crimson and she nearly dropped the nail file she had lazily picked up.
“Come on Jo, tell me.” Jen begged. “I’m booored, I need gossip…oh, by the way, you are coming to Natasha’s party with me tonight.”
“Natasha?” Joey said disdainfully.
“Ew. She’s such a…”
“Ho? Yeah, I Know, but her parties are always good. Anyway….tell me!”
Joey opened her mouth to speak, to tell Jen that it had been….amazing. That they had been so close, just doing all of that, that it made her skin tingle. Just remembering him kissing her, touching her, his warm hands gliding all over her was enough to send her into dreamland.
But she couldn’t’ tell Jen this. “Did you give him head?” Jen pestered.
Joey sighed. “No…”
“You…didn’t?” Jen sounded disapproving.
“Well, no…”
“Will you in the future?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so…I mean…I don’t do that stuff.”
“Joey, honey, if a girl can’t give head a guy is more likely to dump her.” Jen exclaimed.
Joey’s head suddenly stopped singing. “What, do you think he’s gonna dump me?”
“Not for sure…but you have heard the Natasha rumours, right?”
Joey suddenly had trouble breathing.
“No…?”
“That it’s no secret she likes him…and that he likes her.”
“So? It’s just a rumour.” She started to file her nails fiercely.
”hmm.” Jen shrugged.
“You know what? I need to go.” Joey said quickly, and without waiting for Jen’s reply, she got off the phone.
She lay down on the bed, scowling, all sweet thoughts deleted. He wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t dump her because she wouldn’t suck him off. Right?
She called Jen’s mobile, and left a text message. “I can’t go to the party---family thing on.”
****
Normally, on Monday afternoons they’d meet at Starbucks, buy some coffee then walk around the area, just talking, since it was the only afternoon he had off thanks to basketball and study. But Joey hadn’t felt like it. Not then. Not at the same time her brain was turning over events that were supposed to have taken place at the party.
“Totally got off his face— Natasha was pawing him, and I thought they went off but then I saw him and Jen….”
Joey had heard this from two girls that morning. They hadn’t actually told her; she had eavesdropped behind a library shelf, her hand resting on a Biology textbook.
He would never do that. Sure, she had heard a few whispers now and then, but he would never….just…even if he was drunk! Joey wanted to face Jen. To ask her, but she knew Jen would call her, ‘naïve’, and maybe she was. Maybe she was just a big baby. Because she couldn’t understand why he’d go and do that---unless they gave great blow -jobs, and well, she refused too. She took another route past the place she usually met her boyfriend, and walked the two –mile- walk to her mother’s apartment. Lillian was in the spacious living room, stretching her lithe body out, her frizzy hair held back with a headband, legwarmers worn and moth bitten. Joey thought she looked like the typical New York Ballerina.
“What are you doing here?” Lillian asked in surprise. “You don’t get here till tomorrow evening.”
“Change of plans.” Joey grumbled, slamming her bag down and striding into the kitchen. “How’s Dawson?” Lillian called after her. “Usually you hang out with him in the afternoons.”
“He’s sick.” Joey called back, grimacing as she took in the non-contents in the fridge. Mouldy lettuce. OJ, and a watery can of pickles.
She stalked into her bedroom, yelling, “Get some decent food, you Anorexic head case!”
Lillian yelled after her, “Don’t talk to me like that, young lady.”
Joey stripped off, and threw on a black skirt and fisherman’s sweater. She grabbed her wallet and headed out, determined to get some real food.
Standing in line to get a hot bagel, she didn’t expect to have two arms wrap around her from behind, and a voice say in her ear, “Here you are.”
“Oh---hi…” Joey wanted to pull away, but she couldn’t. She may be a little angry and suspicious towards him, but her attraction didn’t falter. He was so warm and strong, and the way he kissed her ear signalised a tender intimacy that made a few girls in line beside and behind her sigh with jealousy.
This made Joey feel smug, and she leaned back against him. Oh, the joys of having a boyfriend…who cheated on you in a drunken stupor. After buying her food, she led him down to the riverside, where they sat on a bench and she ate while he talked about a bunch of assholes in his school, who had decorated his locker with shaving cream and used condoms. He, Chris and Pacey had gotten them back by punching holes in the wheels of their Porches and Jaguars, and filling the seats up to the brim with Kerosene.
“That’s a bit harsh.” Joey laughed, throwing the paper bag into a nearby bin.
“Hmm, let’s see…” Dawson used his hands as a weighing machine. “Used condoms, kerosene. Used condoms…hmm…”
Joey swatted his hands, wrinkling her nose. “You guys are gross.”
“You girls are just as bad.” He retorted.
He then gathered her up into his arms and kissed her. Joey broke away, the nagging feeling not diminished by his kisses.
“Look…Dawson…’ she started off. “What happened at that party Saturday night? Apparently you got friendly with both Jen and Natasha.”
“What?” he exclaimed.
“Where the fuck did you hear that?”
“Everyone’s talking about it. Did you think I wouldn’t hear?”
“Look, Jo…it’s not true. Sure, I was drunk and I may have flirted a little, but I did not sleep with either of them. I swear…whatever you heard, it’s all bullshit. Misconceptions. Everyone was smashed. You should have been there.”
Joey crossed her arms and glared over his shoulder. He shrugged. “Fine. Believe them. Believe everyone but your boyfriend.” He grabbed his bag and fled off, taking long angry strides. Joey bit her lip, staring after him, now suddenly remorseful. She picked up her wallet and raced after him.
“Wait!” she called. He slowed down, rolling his eyes. “What?”
“I’m sorry.” She said breathlessly. “But—well, you hear something from more then one mouth…and…” she shrugged, looking down at her shoes. “I thought maybe, since I can’t…I won’t….do anything for you, you’d go elsewhere.”
He stared at her pretty, clear oval face, and suddenly he understood her anxiety. Lifting her chin up, he smiled wryly at her before kissing her lips. “You have nothing to worry about.” He whispered.
“I don’t care what you do or do not do as long as you’re with me.”
And just like that, Joey melted.
“And I want to see you come again…” he said in an ever lower voice. She shuddered. Within ten minutes they were in his bedroom, re-enacting Friday night.
****
Although Joey had been reassured that evening, the next few days her security began to melt as more news of Natasha spilt out of mouths. “She’s totally in love with him---“ Joey had seen Natasha. She was gorgeous…blonde, thin, pouty lips, teasing smile. How could any guy resist her? “No one ever has.” Jen sighed. She turned to a anxious Joey and said, “Jump him, honey. Take his mind of that slut.”
So on Saturday night, Joey invited Dawson to her mother’s apartment. Her mother would be out until Monday. Joey was as nervous as hell, and it showed. The minute he had slipped his hand between her thighs, she had frozen like an icecube, and he stopped. “You’re not ready.’ He informed her quietly, kissing her cheek. “Yes I am.” She argued, kissing him fiercely.
He pulled away, and sat up. “I’m not going to have sex with someone who is as stiff as a surfboard. Not tonight, Jo…something is up with you.” Joey, embarrassed, and angered, grabbed her dressing gown and flung it on. “Go away.” She exclaimed. He did, slamming the door behind him.
“He’s going to dump me.’ Joey said out aloud to no one, her lip quivering. Well, forget the embarrassment of that. Crying, she wrote him a text message. “I don’t want to see you anymore.”
He replied, “Fine.”
****
At Chris’s random party the following Friday, Joey turned up with Jen, already drunk and almost falling out of her skin- tight ruby red dress. She flirted with Chris outrageously the entire night, until Miranda showed up, and then Joey had run away like a frightened kitten. She ended up making out with a boy called Timothy, from Chris’s Chemistry class, right in front of a pissed off Dawson.
“Woah---your girlfriend is having fun. Without you!” All his friends sneered. Girlfriends weren’t supposed to have fun with anyone except their boyfriend. All of his rivals were having a field day. “Fuck em,” he muttered. Natasha approached him. “Hi.” She clamped her hand down on his ass.
“Fuck me.” She ordered in a drunken drawl.
For once in his life he wasn’t sure what to do.
****
“Ohh…” Joey moaned as soon as her eyes fluttered open. Her head hurt like anything.
What the fuck? She sat up, panicking when she realized this wasn’t her room, or her bed.
Her dress was still on. Clambering out of bed, she tumbled into the hall and gasped to realize it was Dawson’s apartment.
“Oh, hi.” Her ex said dryly as he came out of the bathroom in a towel, rubbing his damp hair.
“Just so you know, I saved you from a gangbang with Tim the rapist and his four loser friends.”
He whisked past her, but she stopped him. “Asshole!” she hissed. “You think you can be so…so—smug!”
“No, I’m not.’
“Yes you are! You can’t talk, you only want one thing from me, anyway!”
“What the fuck is your problem?” he yelled.
“What have I done except be good to you?”
“You don’t want to even sleep with me! You sleep with girls like Natasha.” Joey yelled back. “You like girls you can get off with. I’m just an accessory, a handbag.”
“That is not true!” he seethed. “Joey, I love…” he stopped, his eyes widening, when he realized what he had nearly said.
Joey blushed. “I…” she started to say, but he interrupted.
“Just go home.”
He went into his room and slammed the door. In any other circumstance Joey would have gone from the apartment in tears, but not this time. Without hesitation she whipped his door open and placed her hands on her hips. He was struggling his jeans up and fell back onto the bed in surprise.
“I like you a lot, you know.” Joey said. “We’ve been dating for six months now and I think you’re pretty great, and I know I’ve been nervous, and stuff, but I want this to work out.”
Forgetting to even zip his jeans up, Dawson walked over to her and they hugged tightly.
“Hot little dress.” He murmured into her neck, gently squeezing her backside. She pushed him slowly away and grinned slyly. “Let me have a shower first…then we can go out for lunch…then maybe...I might kiss you.”
“Deal. So…you said I can’t kiss you yet, but you never said anything about not having a shower together…”
“Get lost.”
****
“Are your parents ever home?” Joey commented when she sat down on the barstool and watched Dawson scour the bar fridge.
“Nope.” He replied simply. “Well, sometimes. Mom’s a PR, dad’s…an…umm…” he laughed, and placed a glass of OJ in front of her. “I have no idea. Something to do with stocks I’m sure. But they’re never here.”
“If only my parents went out more…” Joey sighed. “I hate my stepmother. She’ a total bitch, and she’s always putting me down.”
“Probably jealous.” Dawson commented.
“I don’t see why. Have you seen her? I hate to admit it but she’s gorgeous. As usual, at least ten years younger then daddy, too.”
“Eh. It’s kinda how it is. My mom’s my dad’s third wife.”
“No way…” Joey laughed in disbelief. “God.”
“Heyyy…” he went around and sat down next to her. “Guess what we have planned next weekend?” Joey rolled her eyes. “I can only guess…” God, she was sick of endless parties. Once and a while she’d prefer to just slob around at home.
“A concert. Bunch of punk bands….y’know, Green Day, Blink etc, then back to my place. My ‘rents will be out, god bless them, so we get the place to ourselves. God I love life.” He kissed her, and she giggled in surprise. “Well…cool.”
“You and Miranda are the only girls coming alone. You gotta feel special.” He laughed, kissing her neck. “What about Jen?” she asked in surprise.
“What about her?” Dawson said incredulously. “She was just a fuck for Pacey once.”
Joey didn’t know what to say, so she just kissed him.
****
“I’m not invited?” Jen seethed in homeroom on Monday. “There’s got to be a mistake. I’ll call Chris tonight. Dawson just hates me. Idiot.”
Joey winced, and Jen rolled her eyes. “He is, you know. He’s not Mr. Perfect.”
Either are you, Joey wanted to say.
Dawson text-messaged her at lunch. “That bitch! Tell psycho blondo to lay off Chris, we don’t have enough room in the car. Ps, I have something hard here with your name on it.” Joey laughed, and Jen gave a disgruntled snort. Joey realized she was reading her message. “Jen.” Joey swatted her butt with the phone.
“Whatever.” Jen scowled and hurried away.
Joey smelled something bitter. She smiled slyly. For the first time, it was her and only her who was doing something with the group. Jen wasn’t going to be ‘tagging’ along, giving her freak advice. And Jen couldn’t stand the fact Joey was no longer under her control…even it was for only one night.
***
It was a freezing cold winter, nothing seemed to help the coldness except for central heating or to cuddle up close to someone. Joey, a lucky girl, had both these things. A lot of her friends had mentioned how crazy Dawson was over her, and Joey didn’t doubt them—she was feeling just as crazy about him.
He was warm, friendly, cool, rich and handsome. God he was almost perfect. But she could feel that something was wrong and she was sure she knew what it was—the sex issue. Jen still gave her shit about it, and even Miranda had once commented—“Hey Jo, are you ever gonna put out? Dawson will get blue balls.”
Joey had managed to laugh and shrug, but then later she had sat red-faced in the bathroom, trying desperately not to cry. God, what was her problem? She was sixteen, seventeen in the New Year. She was much older then a lot of girls she knew who went at it ‘every weekend.’ She then remembered Dawson saying, “I don’t care, really. Don’t stress about it.” And she smiled. Maybe it didn’t matter after all.
***
Miranda invited Joey to a “Saturday warming party.”
“A Saturday warming party?” Joey repeated incredulously, then she rushed on, “Sounds cool.”
Miranda smirked, “Joey, I know, say it—it sounds weird. But it’s…” Miranda cocked her head to one side. “Very intimate…only a few people. And…you’ll find yourself in the throes of ecstasy.”
Joey nodded slowly. “Right.”
“Later.” Miranda tapped perfect pearly white nails on Joey’s bottom and sashayed off. Everyone at the end of the hallway stared at her as she walked off. She had that affect on people.
“You going Saturday night?” she asked Dawson casually that afternoon on the subway. He took out a cigarette and lit it. “Yeah…duh. Miranda has the best place. Her parents are beyond loaded…and her brother’s a chemist.”
Joey took the cigarette from him and put it to her own lips. “Hmm. And that’s good because…”
“Eh, you’ll see.”
Joey blew a tendril of smoke at him and he got her back by gently hitting her backside. They smiled saucily at each other for a moment, and then Dawson flicked the cigarette onto the train rails and grabbed her for a long kiss.
“Porn!” the kids standing next to them yelled collectively.
****
On the way back to her apartment, Joey bumped into Jen, who she hadn’t really talked too for a while. Jealousy had gotten the better of Jen—well, that’s what Joey figured, so she was surprised when Jen smiled warmly. “Jo! Jesus, hi. We hardly talk anymore—probably because I’m not at school. I have a boyfriend, so my priorities are limited to him and his gorgeous ass.”
“Boyfriend?” Joey was interested. “Who?”
“Pacey Witter. We have so much in common. It’s love, I swear. We’re like soul mates. He’s fucking fabulous…” Jen jabbered on for a few moments and Joey suddenly recognized the hazed glow in Jen’s hazel eyes—she was high—on what, Joey wasn’t sure.
“So how’s Dawson? You fucked him yet? I laid him once, he’s pretty good.” Jen giggled impishly, “Big dick. Well I gotta go. Will you be at Miranda’s? I was invited, would you believe, I think it’s coz she likes Pacey—and he has the best shit. See you there.” And she was gone into the night.
Joey didn’t know whether to laugh or…or what? Throw a hissy fit? Jen filled to the gills with drugs and then admitting she slept with Dawson was not a good combination. Joey wondered why Dawson had never mentioned it…but then, why would he? And a big dick? Okay she wouldn’t think about that.
She trailed into her father’s apartment dreamily, but yelped, startled, when her stepmothers’ angry features pushed themselves into her focus.
“I’m having a party.” She announced crisply. Joey realized the apartment was jostling, full of swanky up-town Manhattan stockbrokers and bankers and their young pretty wives no doubt.
“So, go to your room, and don’t come out. Okay? I’ll get Mary to bring you some dinner.”
“I already ate. With Dawson.” Joey knew Isobel hated Dawson—not purely Dawson, but his mother, who was kind of a rival sophisticated specimen.
“Fine.” Isobel marched back into the living room, and Joey inversely criticized her dress—a navy blue frilly thing.
She wished she could have stayed at her mother’s, but her mother was in the UK dancing with the ABT, and had taken all of the remaining keys with her. “My home is not about to become a crib.” She had sighed when Joey had inquired why she couldn’t stay there alone.
“A crib?” Joey had muttered, not quite believing her other even knew what that meant.
Joey resumed to her bedroom, trying to look inconspicuous, and along the way she blushed when she overheard one of her fathers’ friend say, “Frank, your daughter is a very nice femme fatale.”
She tried to do her homework, but she couldn’t concentrate. Math. English. Who cared? She didn’t---so what, her average grade was now residing on a C+--when it used to be an A—but she didn’t care. Not really, anyway. She smirked at herself in the mirror.
****
Miranda’s ‘place’ was almost a palace stacked on top of nearly 100 floors of other luxury apartments. She had a penthouse—two stories, eight bedrooms, four bathrooms, three living areas, balconies overlooking Central park and middle Manhattan. The whole place was elegantly designed with a tan and white theme and old Persian carpets and gold edged china and vases. A genuine Picasso hung above the fireplace. Joey thought that if there weren’t about twenty people there smoking weed, it’d look very charming and rich and beautiful.
Dawson tugged her into the main living room, and immediately he was pulled away by a group of friends.
Miranda kissed him teasingly on the mouth, which annoyed Joey, and then she surprised even Dawson by doing the same to Joey, who blushed in shock.
“Chill out honey.” Miranda laughed, flicking her mahogany hair off one shoulder. She pursed her red lips in the direction of some other newcomers.
“Wow.” Dawson sighed. “That really turned me on.”
“Me too, bro.” Chris shook his head, then the two of them laughed, and Joey tried desperately not to feel so embarrassed.
“Okay, guys, wanna drink?” Chris led them over to a bar in the corner, and grabbed two lemon Vodka’s out of the fridge.
“You can smoke, and hang, or there’s a lot of bedrooms upstairs. You know.” He winked and then walked off. Dawson uncapped his and Joey attempted, but the lid wouldn’t budge. Dawson took the bottle and easily opened it, Joey rolled her eyes at his machoistic grin.
“So…it’s your decision. Upstairs or here?” Dawson asked.
“Umm.” Joey bit her lip. What did she feel like? She looked up at him and a slow smile spread across her face. “Upstairs.” She was feeling kind of horny.
“You know what? I really like that idea.” Dawson kissed her ear. “You go ahead, go to one of the end rooms, and I’ll be up in a sec.”
“Okay.” Joey looked after him puzzled for a moment, and then she turned and went in search for upstairs.
***
TO BE CONTINUED
