Part two, “Sweet kisses.”
By Anne Gooding
Rating: PG-13
Summary: it’s Joey’s birthday and she gets more then she bargained for. _________________________________________________________________
“Mom’s intent on me having a party three times as big as the one your dad put on a couple of weeks ago.” Dawson said, rolling his eyes and picking up a slice of pizza.
“Can’t say I’m surprised.” Joey replied, stabbing the straw through the top of her soda.
“I’m not bothered, though.” Dawson said, grinning mischievously.
“Let them duel out their petty rivalry….we’ll get nothing but good things bestowed upon us.”
“We should work together….who knows, maybe one day we can end up taking over the world.” Joey giggled.
“I like the way you think.” He said, taking a sip from his cup, his eyes resting on her face.
They then traveled down the length of her neck, and down to where her shirt which stretched slightly over her breasts.
“Woo-hoo!” shouted someone loudly, and Dawson and Joey both looked up sharply.
Dawson’s eyes widened. “Ohh boy….just about all of the football team just walked in,” he said wearily.
Joey turned and grimaced as she saw the large mass of broad shouldered guys walk in, loudly jostling and whooping about winning yet another game.
“Let’s get out of here.” Dawson said softly, gripping her wrist and then quickly, he yanked her up and whisked her out the side entrance.
“Woah!” Joey laughed, shrugging out of his grip.
“What was that all about?”
“Hey…it’s your birthday soon, isn’t it?” Dawson spoke up, ignoring her question.
Joey rolled her eyes. “I told you that like, this morning.” She said.
“Why’d you run out? Embarrassed to be seen with me or something?” she raised her eyebrows, starting to regret accepting his invitation.
“Hell no.” Dawson said firmly, walking over to his car.
“Let’s just say, I’m not in the mood to talk shit with them, you know? And they wouldn’t leave us alone. Probably think we’re on a date—alone.”
Two spots of red went to Joey’s cheeks and Dawson quickly said, “Alone as in, you know, peaceful and shit.”
“I know.” She replied even quicker, feeling stupid for about to be sounding like such a prude.
“I think I better get home now.”
“Sure.” He said softly, nodding, as if trying not to look disappointed or something.
Joey noticed he played that radio station with all those young and hip stars on it….Bob Dylan, The Beatles etc. Her father always played classical music or swing band stuff, which got annoying when played hour after hour. Even her mother walked around with ice on her head, complaining.
She smiled out the window when one of her favorite songs came on- that Dusty Springfield one. She absolutely loved music and whenever she heard something she loved she’d just be—taken off to another dimension.
“Well, here we are.” Dawson then said softly all of a sudden, and Joey realized he had pulled up outside her house. “I’ll drop you now….I gotta go get some gas.”
“Oh…thanks.” She said in surprise, unbuckling her seatbelt.
“You always that quiet?” he then asked.
Joey frowned. “I’m tired.” She said airily, opening up the passenger’s side door.
“See ya Dawson, thanks….” her voice trailed off.
“Oh, anytime.” He said. “I’ll see you when I get back then,” he continued.
“Yeah.” She smiled, getting out.
“Good game by the way.”
Then she shut the door, not wanting to see his expression.
He drove off, and she watched him leave, sighing. She liked him.
****
“I can’t believe it!” Andie hissed, trying to keep her voice down in the library, but she was finding it harder and harder too do just that.
“You went out on a date?”
Joey hit her lightly on the backside with one of her books on Egypt.
“No! It wasn’t a date! We just went out for Pizza. Can you believe that? I mean—“ Joey wrinkled her nose.
“It was like a date, I guess, technically, yet it wasn’t because there were no romantic feelings between us.”
“Ohh yeah.” Andie drawled sarcastically, winking.
“I’ve seen you look at him---You like Dawson, don’t you? As in, more then friends.”
Joey paused, looking away from Andie’s intense gaze before answering flatly, “Okay, okay, so I do.”
Andie giggled hysterically, and pumped her fist in the air. “Finally! I got it out of you!”
“Tell anyone, especially Jen or Pacey and I’ll break your nose.” Joey said fiercely.
Andie nodded, trying to get serious again when she saw the librarian glare at them. Once the librarian was out of sight though, she leaned back towards Joey.
“So? Are you going to steal him away from Jen or what?”
Joey fixed Andie with a glare so withering, she almost cowered in her seat.
“I can’t do that!” she whispered. “Look, Andie, it’s too complicated.”
“Well, look Joey, this may sound far-fetched and complicated but it’s the 100% ensured way of getting a guy.” Andie said a matter-of-factly.
“What?” Joey said, frustrated with Andie’s questions and advice, plus hints that she, like, actually wanted him.
“Fuck his brains out! Just go up to his room, take his thing out and----“
“WHAT?” Joey gasped.
“Andie, number one, I don’t know how to ‘fuck.’ Number two, he ‘fucks,’ Jen, what would he need me for? Number three--”
“Stop with the number points already.” Andie interrupted.
“It was just some helpful advice.”
“No, it was stupid advice.” Joey said frostily.
“I should never have told you!”
Andie just smirked.
Looking back down at her book, Joey flushed a deep red. Now that she had admitted it to Andie, it was going to be harder to lie to herself. Because all she could think about was that kiss in the closet. Groaning inwardly, Joey realized the next few years were going to be hell, unless she stopped liking him earlier. Crushes were nothing but bad news, especially in this case!
****
“So, anyway, I was thinking this gorgeous pink dress I saw in the window of Lizettes the other day. And my hair can be in a French knot—I love those! What do you think?” Jen chattered on brightly as Dawson drove her home after one of their dates.
“Nice.” He replied, twiddling with the knobs to the radio.
“Well---here’s my stop.” Jen said quietly as he parked the car. She turned towards him, smiling saucily.
“Great time tonight, as always—though the movie sucked. And the guy in the next car kept looking at me—you don’t blame him, do you Dawson?” Jen giggled shortly. She grabbed the cuff of his shirt and they kissed.
He started to do more but she broke apart and said breathlessly, “You do know I need sleep. It’s almost nine.”
He rolled his eyes. “Jen, you need to live more.” He grumbled.
“I live just fine.” She replied, getting out of the car.
“See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah—bye.” He said gruffly, reversing out of the drive and then firing down the road. Jen watched after him.
“I love you.” She said quietly. She wished she could tell him that personally, not to his car exhaust. But he’d probably laugh.
*****
“Josephine, let me in.”
Joey looked up from her book at the closed door after hearing her father’s gruff voice from outside.
“It’s open.” She replied.
The door swung open and Mr. Potter walked slowly in, holding up a piece of important-looking paper.
“Your report card, young lady.” He said flatly, not missing a blink of an eye.
Uh oh.
Joey sat up. This was not going to be good.
“I get you everything.” Her father said, possibly trying to sound calm but coming across as sounding dangerous.
“Records, clothes, money—and you pay me back by bringing home Satisfactory's and C’s?”
“Dad—there are more B---“
“Don’t interrupt. This can’t go on anymore!” he thundered.
“You spend your time reading trash, gossiping with your stupid friends and giving goo-goo eyes to the even stupider boy next door, when you could be studying. My daughter is not going to become some trash-trailer fucking HIPPY, pregnant and on the streets by the time she’s seventeen, possibly with all types of the clap! You got that?”
Joey nodded numbly. Jesus—did her dad really think she’d go and do that? Did she come across that dumb? She felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes, threatening to leak. But she couldn’t cry in front of her dad—she would never do that.
“Until you pull your grades up I’m taking away everything.” He continued bluntly, ripping the book- Jane Eyre- out of her hands, and then unplugging her record player.
“Dad!” she exclaimed, jumping off the bed.
“This really isn’t necessary—“
“Don’t answer back.” He hissed, lifting up the bulky record player, and then stuffing a pile of books on top.
“I don’t understand why you have to be like you are, anyway. Always rude, always questioning me. You’re an empty-headed, idiotic girl, and you can really make me sick.” He spat out every word, and she reacted as if he was spitting venom. Was he drunk? Why was he suddenly saying these things to her?
“You’re grounded. And you’re going to use that time to work.” Was the last thing he said before storming out, slamming the door behind him.
Joey stared at the door, shaking slightly. She was grounded?
Turning slowly, as if in shock, she walked over to her bed and sat down on it. The last thing she wanted to do was study. If there was one thing she hated, it was Science, Maths and anything else related to school. She didn’t mind History, or reading books but that was about it. School made her feel trapped. Angry. And not being able to go to parties, out with Andie or to dances seemed like one of the most terrible fates she could imagine. Without consciously knowing she was doing it, Joey started to cry.
****
Throwing himself onto his bed, Dawson was relieved he was lying down. He was tired as hell. But he couldn’t help feel a littler rejected about Jen stopping yet again. He turned over onto his side, staring out the window. Joey’s blinds were up again—what was she doing now?
She was sitting on the bed, her hand furiously wiping at her eyes. Shit—she was crying. He sat up, his eyes squinting. Yeah. She was crying her eyes out. He wondered why--had her bastard of a father had it in for her again? He stared at her for about five minutes, wiping her tears away, then she started to cry again and more fresh tears would stain her face.
Finally, he couldn’t stand it anymore. Sliding open his window, he cautiously stepped outside it and with the familiar mechanics of long ago, he swung down, and attached himself to her house. His heart beating furiously, he quietly climbed the rickety-rackety planks till his hands gripped the edge of her window. Hoisting himself up, he prepared to knock softly on the window.
The room was now dark. Shit. But---the window was open.
Should he or shouldn’t he? Joey might just want to be alone---and besides---
“Dawson?”
“Hey.” He replied, smiling at her face, staring out at him in shock.
“Can I come in? Or will I have to freeze my dick off?” he said casually.
She threw a nervous glance at her door before sliding up her window so he could fit in. He easily slid in, and was careful not to fall to the floor with an enormous thud.
“What the—what are you doing here?” she said breathlessly, her words tumbling out of her mouth.
“You were crying.” He said simply, and lifted a hand to touch her red, chapped cheeks quickly.
Joey pulled away from him and went to sit on her bed.
“No offense, Dawson, but if my dad came in here and saw you he would, literally, kick your ass out of the window.”
“Fine. I’ll go.” He said, offended.
“I just wanted to know if you were okay, that’s all.” He turned to leave, then spoke again.
“You hold up too many barriers. That’s your problem Joey. Perhaps it’s the start of a lot of problems.”
Joey just stared at him in shock. She then looked down at her hands, tightly clasped. She felt a sob rise in her throat, threatening to break. The minute Dawson started to lift himself out, it did.
Damn! She cursed herself, sucking it back in. But it was too late. He retreated his steps and went to sit next to her on the bed, his arm automatically going around one shoulder, pressing her up against him.
“It’s just—I’ve never seen you cry before.” He said softly.
“It kind of got to me.”
Joey could only nod silently as more and more tears dripped down her cheeks.
She didn’t know why she was crying either…but she felt herself relaxing in his arms. Then, before either of them knew it, they were lying down on her bed. He kept his arm around her, and she rested her head into the crook of his shoulder.
Dawson smiled up at the dark ceiling. Holding her was nice. Her bare legs were entangled with his, and he could hear her breathing softly in her sleep. He started to feel himself harden a little, but he willed himself to stop. This was no time to entertain his fantasies. He felt his eyelids getting heavy…..
****
“Happy birthday Joey.” was the first thing she heard when her eyes opened that next day.
She froze. Dawson was smiling, bemused, down at her. “It’s 5:00am. I’m going to piss off now before my parents know I was sleeping with you all night.”
Joey blushed, and she felt the tips of her mouth turning up into a small smile.
“Did you really sleep here all night?”
He nodded, getting off the bed and yawning.
“You bet I did….I really scored, didn’t I?” he teased her, leaning over to tickle her side. Joey shrieked and jumped away from him.
Then she realized something embarrassing. She was only wearing a nightshirt! He could see her panties! Scrambling to jump off the bed, she yanked her shirt down and gave Dawson a faint smile.
“Well, um, sorry about—being a sook last night. I’ll see you in school, you better go, and I mean it!”
“Okay. Have a nice day.” He said, and he disappeared out the window, whistling the tune to ‘happy birthday.’
Joey put her head in her hands. She was only sixteen! Why was she subjected to this humiliation? But then suddenly, an overwhelming feeling of happiness overtook her embarrassment. They had slept together! It was like things were returning back to normal!
Well, not that normal. But the sharing the bed bit was right.
*****
Stopping to look in the mirror, Joey gave her a cheeks an extra pinch before going into the kitchen. Her father was reading the paper, her mother was opposite him, also reading a paper.
“Good morning.” She said as pleasantly as she could, although beneath the surface she was still simmering from last night’s row with her dad.
Her mother grunted something and her father nodded his head gravely, as though he was stating he knew she was there but he wasn’t going to give her a formal greeting, or even look at her.
Her breakfast, made by the housemaid, was on the table slowly getting cold. Toast, eggs and orange juice. Like always.
She swallowed. Had they forgotten again? It was her sixteenth birthday. She was sixteen, and were they going to do what they had done last year—and the year before—and just forget until she reminded them? Then make up for it with money? She sat down in her seat and started to eat slowly. After ten minutes, she realized she wasn’t going to tell them. She wouldn’t tell them—ever. Feeling her anger and resentment build up again, Joey pushed her plate away.
“Bye.” She said coldly, and she marched out. Well, screw them. She didn’t care.
“Don’t forget you’re grounded.” Her father called after her.
Joey had to run out of the door in case she ran back and belted her father over the head with her bag.
****
“Happy birthday baby!” Andie shrieked as soon as she saw Joey that morning. In her hand she had a parcel, and Pacey and Jen were right behind her.
“Hi.” She greeted them, before noticing Dawson, his arms wrapped around Jen.
He grinned at her, and Andie stuffed the parcel in Joey’s face.
“Regards from all of us.” She said.
Joey saw Jen roll her eyes, and knew that Andie was of course, the only one to put thought into the gift.
She opened it carefully, and pulled out a scarf, and a small notebook.
“I made it!” Andie said excitedly.
“Wow. Thanks.” Joey said, leaning over to hug Andie.
“You have nothing planned, do you?” Pacey inquired.
Joey shook her head. “As from last night, I’m grounded.”
Dawson raised his eyebrows, showing he now understood why she was crying.
“God, why?” Andie gasped, her eyes widening.
“My report card wasn’t up to scratch.”
The bell rang, and Jen abruptly turned and walked off along with the rest of the students, tugging Dawson behind her.
Pacey waved. “See ya later Joey, Andie.”
Andie was still in shock.
“Any more news to tell me?” she said bitterly, linking their arms together. “Other then we can’t hang out anymore?”
“Nope, none.” Joey said hurriedly.
Andie sniffed.
****
Confined to her bedroom, Joey was unprepared for when Dawson did a repeat of the night before, and thudded into her bedroom at approximately ten-o clock, while she was slathering body cream into her arms. She stared at him for a few seconds, her eyebrows raised, then spoke when he started to drift around her room, picking up things and inspecting them.
“How nice of you to drop in….”
“Aw that’s alright.” He said modestly, picking up a book. Joey opened her mouth to tell him to put it down, but when he saw the cover he did that himself, chuckling a little.
All about becoming a woman. Joey wished her Aunt Susie had never sent that to her. Her dad called Susie a ‘darn hippie…should be locked away!’ but Joey knew that her mother secretly admired Susie’s beauty, independence and flair—whatever that was.
“So, Dawson why are you here again?” Joey asked politely, putting the bottle on her bedside table, thankful she was wearing pajamas. Maybe her sub-consciousness told her to wear something that covered her lower half.
“You have to ask?” he said, almost in disbelief, settling in an arm -chair opposite the bed.
Joey nodded, slowly getting over her nervousness. She almost felt comfortable around him, and he looked so nice, sitting in that arm-chair, that she had a quick impulse to go and sit in his lap.
He must have noticed her looking at him funny. “Come sit on my lap little girl.” He said teasingly, patting his leg. Joey blushed and her eyes squinted up as she tried not to giggle.
“You’re so cute, Potter.” Dawson laughed.
“No, seriously, Dawson, what are you doing here?” Joey said again.
Dawson sighed reverently and Joey watched him, her eyes widening in shock as he pulled out a little parcel. “It’s not too late, I suppose.” He handed it to her, and she took it gently, looking at it as if it would bite.
“Nothing major. Just thought, that, maybe you’d like something else. I mean….” He now looked a bit sympathetic. “I heard from Andie your parents forgot.”
Joey concentrated on opening it, and shrugged. “ I’m Sixteen. It’s no big deal. Maybe when I’m thirty and still living in this house they might remember.”
“Don’t say that. Your parents are just assholes—no offense,” he added, guardedly.
“None taken whatsoever.” Then she let out a tiny gasp.
“Dawson---this is so--.”
“Cliched?”
Sweet. Joey lifted out a small silver bracelet with a charm on it. The charm was in the shape of a daisy.
She almost felt embarrassed he was giving her something like this.
He noticed her face and said carefully, “I thought you—girls—liked jewelry.”
Joey looked up at his sincere eyes and quickly said, “Oh, oh I do! I think it’s gorgeous, it’s just….”
“Getting it from me is weird.” Dawson finished for her.
Joey didn’t say anything, she just started to put it on, handling it with care.
“What would your girlfriend think if she knew you had given a bracelet to me?” Joey then said slyly.
Dawson chuckled uneasily. “She, uh, she never has to know. Right?”
Joey nodded to show she understood. “Yeah.”
They both sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, Joey’s eyes darting back and forth between him and her bracelet.
“Let’s go for a walk.” Dawson suggested.
“Umm….okay.” Joey replied, standing up and following him out the window, surprised at herself for agreeing. But then so many unbelievable things had happened lately that she wouldn’t have been surprised if he pulled out a gun and waved it at her….
******
“So---do you ever wonder what’s going on around you, you know, outside of America?” Dawson asked Joey casually as they slowly walked along the dark road, Joey rubbing her arms a little because it was cold.
“Is that a rhetorical question?” Joey replied incredulously, cocking a brow.
“Brushing up on your education, Jo?” Dawson chuckled. “No. I was just---asking. You know? I mean, people tend to do that sometimes.”
Joey fiddled with her bracelet. She paused. “Well—if you want the truth, no.” she admitted.
“Not really. Should I?”
“It depends, really. Though I can’t tell you what to believe.” He answered lightly. “But it’s no big deal. My dad’s big on all that stuff, he’s always getting me into these long conversations about the welfare of America and such.”
“You’re lucky he talks to you at all” Joey quipped.
“I always remember your father being fierce.” Dawson said thoughtfully.
“Always protective, always sneering about something.” He grinned and nudged her with his elbow.
“What would he say if he knew you were French-kissing boys in closets, Josephine?”
Joey went red and replied darkly, “Once, and we didn’t use tongues. But if he did know that I had been kissing at all, he’d probably rip my tongue out. Anything to deny me—“ Joey stopped, then said quietly, “Well you know, all stuff that’s good.”
“Kissing’s very good.” Dawson stated teasingly, noticing her discomfort.
“But the other stuff is even better.” Joey couldn’t help but let out a laugh mixed with a snort. She couldn’t believe he was talking to her about---sex!
“I wouldn’t know.” Joey then said sarcastically, walking a little faster.
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” Dawson laughed, catching up with her. “I’m just playing with you.”
They walked in silence for a few moments, and they could hear the far-off sounds of dogs barking and the odd car turning into a driveway.
“So are you going to Randell’s party on Saturday?” Dawson then asked. “Jen’s insisting I turn up. I might as well. And to see the gang before I leave.”
“You’re leaving?” Joey asked, stopping in the middle of the road.
“Didn’t I tell you?” Dawson feigned surprise.
“On Sunday me and my dad are going to California for like, six months.”
She stared at him.
“Why?”
Dawson scratched the back of his head, an indication he was a bit uneasy talking about it.
“For—well, a lot of reasons.”
“What are they?”
“Questions, questions….”
“People tend to ask questions, Dawson.”
He sighed. “Wanna go back, now? It’s getting cold.”
“ No, answer me. Why?” shy, blushing Joey was now demanding an answer.
“A lot of reasons. I can’t discuss all of them with you, jeez.” He said, sounding a bit pissed off. Joey decided not to ask anymore.
“Let’s go back.” She agreed, and they turned and retreated their steps.
“Kind of a shame.” She then said softly.
“We were becoming—you know, like, friends almost.”
“We are still! We always were.” He replied.
Then what were we becoming? She wondered. She realized he was probably thinking the same thing, and reasoned with herself to just not say a thing. Her cheeks were slowly turning pink, and she noticed when his hands brushed against hers as they walked back, fast-paced and with a slight jump.
*****
“Haven’t been in here for years!” Joey exclaimed breathlessly, rubbing her hands to get warm again and looking around Dawson’s room. A picture of Jen was resting on his desk, a football lay on his bedside table and papers spilled out everywhere and a big heavy brown suitcase rested by his bed, half-packed with clothes already.
He flicked off the main light and the orange light of the small lamp flooded the room with shadows. “Nothing much has changed.” He shrugged.
Joey peered out the window into her room. “Shit.” She hissed. “You can see even through the blinds!”
Dawson cleared his throat and looked away, laughing softly. “Whoops.”
He can see me getting dressed every night! Oh my god!
He must have read her mind. He reassured her, saying, “I can’t see anything, usually. Calm down….”
He smiled smugly when she wasn’t looking.
He glanced at his watch. 1:00 am. Joey yawned on record time.
“Do you want to sleep here tonight?” he asked bluntly.
Joey froze.
No way….!
But she felt daring.
Why not? Apart from the obvious?
“Okay…”
Dawson was a little surprised at her answer but didn’t show it. He just reached over and flicked off the lamplight.
*****
“You’re taking up all the blankets! I’m cold.” Joey whined an hour later. She then giggled and he groaned. “Jesus!” there was more shuffling around, then he spoke.
“I’ll warm you up….Just lie on my chest and rub….” Joey hit his arm. “Don’t get fresh or anything.”
Joey didn’t need to lie on his chest, though the thought made her smile—she already felt very warm. He was lying on his back, and she was lying on her side, her head resting lightly on his shoulder.
“I guess as we got older our bodies got longer, huh?” he then mused.
“That’s for sure.” Joey said slyly, not meaning just his body as her knee pressed accidentally into something. She felt tingles go through her body again. She couldn’t believe she was sleeping with Dawson! Sure it was okay when you were ten, but at sixteen it was sinful!
She didn’t feel like her old, shy self much anymore.
“You know—I do think we’re becoming friends again.” Dawson said lightly. “And we will continue to be so. No reason not too.”
She smiled gently. “I think so too.” Friends. With him. It gave her a warm fuzzy feeling. She then realized he was on his side, facing her.
Her heart skipped a beat.
“You have beautiful lips.” He murmured, stroking her hair. His breath tickled her cheek and his fingers wove through her hair, causing her to swallow hard from lack of air.
They were so close now, lying on his bed, facing each other, their hips pressing against each other. This position was quite different and not as ‘friendly’ then the one they had been in a few short minutes ago. She gazed back at him, her eyes smoky with desire. He was looking at her like he’d look at his girlfriend—admiring. Like the moment before he kissed her in the closet, during that stupid game of seven minutes in heaven.
She didn’t blink when he leaned forward and captured her awaiting lips with his. She closed her eyes and sighed tenderly when he cupped her cheek.
Their lips fused passion, and they kissed until Joey felt like she couldn’t breathe even if she tried. Then she felt his warm muscular hand sliding up the material to her shirt, and smoothing onto the soft skin of her belly. She froze. His hand then traveled up higher and squeezed her left breast gently through the material of her bra. Her nipples hardened and she started to feel herself quiver. Her knee accidentally pressed into him and she realized he had grown considerably larger down there. She gasped and tried to tear away from him, but he continued to kiss her, his hand releasing its grip.
“Dawson—Dawson—stop.” She said breathlessly, placing her hands on his chest and gently pushing him away. “We can’t do this. We really, honestly can’t. I can’t--” she rolled off the bed and fumbled for her jacket and shoes. Dawson was still, his eyes un-seeing as he mulled over the situation. Then he snapped back to his senses.
“Oh—god, Jo I’m sorry.” Dawson quickly said, hurriedly standing up and shoving his hands into his pockets as he watched her shrug on her jacket, and shove her feet into her shoes.
“Look—it was an accident—“ he tried to explain, but she was out of his window like a flash, expertly climbing down then lightly climbing up to her window, and hoisting herself in. Dawson stood by his window, watching as she flicked off her lamplight and her room was shrouded in darkness.
He realized his face was hot, and he had a very painful hard-on…. He winced and closed his eyes.
*****
Thank god it was Friday. Joey looked at the clock again, and realized it hadn’t moved since she last checked, about three seconds ago. Bastard clock!
Her English teacher Mr. Hutz was crapping on about something so utterly boring she was nearly asleep. Joey winced and tried not to move too much. She was sure she had her period and she was mortified that if she got up, there’d be a red stain on her skirt for all to see. And Dawson was sitting right next to her. She noticed that he too, was trying not to look at her. Probably still embarrassed….
It had been that way for about three days, ever since he had kissed her and grabbed her breast. Joey felt mortified thinking about it. She had actually—liked it at the time and this made her feel like a bad person. If she had told Andie, Andie would have informed her she had gone past second base, “And only bad girls do that! Wow!” or something.
She couldn’t help but feel angry with Dawson, for kissing her in the first place. What right had he to do that? Everything was going so well with the two of them. He had a girlfriend, too!
Just then, a note was flicked her way. She opened it, and saw Andie’s handwriting: “Randell’s Party, Saturday, 7:30 PM, we’re there, kay? No arguments. Lock your door from the inside and sneak out the window!”
Joey huffed. She had done that a few times before to go to Andie’s, and hadn’t been caught but what if this time she wasn’t so lucky?
The bell rang shrilly, slicing through her thoughts. Joey heaved a sigh of relief, then brainstormed her getaway plan. Wait for everyone else to stream out the doors, then follow, sweater securely around waist.
****
“You can’t get pregnant through kissing, right?” Joey whispered hoarsely to Andie in the cafeteria. Andie dropped her small packet of tomato sauce.
“Joey!” Andie hissed. “Are you—“
“Well, I don’t know! That’s why I’m asking you, dimwit!”
“Technically, no.” Andie said, her face an expression of puzzlement.
“Who have you kissed and why do you think you’re pregnant?”
“Because I normally get my rags today, but I haven’t, and….” Joey looked quickly around her before continuing.
“Dawson kissed me three nights ago. His thingy was pretty hard and maybe something leaked through? I mean, from what I’ve read…”
Andie giggled. “Thingy. How mature!”
Joey rolled her eyes. “Well, what do you call it?” she opened a small packet of salad dressing.
Andie lowered her voice considerably. “Don’t go around repeating me Jo, but I heard my cousin refer to it as a cock! As in, hen!”
“Cock?” Joey repeated, her brow furrowed. “That sounds like…I dunno, some sort of sport.”
“Or the end of tennis racket, maybe?” Andie giggled. Then she stopped.
“Waaait a second. Dawson KISSED YOU?”
Joey whacked Andie over the head when several people from the next table stopped their conversation and looked over curiously.
Andie cringed and mouthed, “Sorry,” to a flushing red Joey.
“When? Why? How?” Andie then asked excitedly, remembering to keep her voice low.
“Did he get really hard? How big is it? Did he ask you to suck it? Did he suck anything attached to your body? Did he stick his tongue in your mouth? Did he grab your tits? Tell me!”
Joey let out a sharp breath. “Andie, we kissed. That’s it. I don’t know how big his thing is, and why should I care? I mean, it was an accident. The kiss, I mean. We were experimenting. I think. I don’t know! But it didn’t mean anything.”
“Wow.” Andie breathed. Her eyes were then drawn to table in the corner. Joey’s eyes followed.
Jen and Dawson were making out heatedly. His hand rested on her head like he had done to Joey. It didn’t mean anything.
Joey felt her throat tighten and she turned her head away. “See?” she said. Andie shrugged apologetically.
****
Randell’s party turned out to be the typical high-school Saturday night party. Kegs, records playing at the highest volume, the basement of his large home vibrating with the sound of over 200 bodies dancing and talking. Joey squeezed her way over tot he drinks table. She considered her choices. Spiked punch, spiked Kool-Aid, vodka straight from the bottle or beer. She grabbed a bottle of unopened beer and after some struggle, got the top off. She squared her back against the wall and watched Andie and Pacey let rip on the dance floor, Andie showing off the moves she had learnt straight from her cousin, a college-girl in New York.
Dawson and Jen were not far off, doing the same thing. Joey wished she could dance—she had an excellent new move she wanted to do, but dared not too. It consisted of twisting her hips and gyrating down on both feet…almost like a twisting effect. She took a sip from her beer and wrinkled her nose at its bitter taste.
“You look alone. Want some company?” said a teasing voice. Joey looked up to see Jack McPhee, Andie’s brother smiling kindly down at her.
“I wouldn’t mind some.” She answered, grinning back at his kindly face.
“Cool.” He leaned back against the wall and sipped his cup of Kool-aid.
“This party sucks.”
“Agreed.” Joey sighed.
“You never were a party animal.” Jack pointed out.
“Andie was, still is….” He laughed. “She was so excited this morning. I don’t get it.”
“Anything loud, filled with lots of people and colorful is her idea of a good time.” Joey put in.
“I’d much rather read a book.” Jack admitted. “But—well, I told myself not to be such a party popper and mingle.” He pushed his glasses up his nose.
“I’ve mingled. I guess.” He chuckled. “I got a few strange looks, though.”
“Well, as the star football player you should fit right in.” Joey informed him.
“Well, I guess I do play football but I’m not the star, and not a ‘Dawson’ or a ‘Jake’.”
“Modest.” Joey teased him. Jack was amazingly sweet. He had dark hair, dark eyes, a gorgeous face that made you melt and always offered a hand. He achieved a lot academically, and on the football ground, but a few of the snobby, bitchy kids considered him a nerd and not worth their time. “He’s queer. He’s never had a girlfriend.” Joey had heard Abby say once. The nerve! Jack was just too shy to speak to girls. He mostly just talked to Joey, or Andie.
“Lets throw all rules out the window and dance, what do you say?” Jack then said warmly.
“I say aye.” Joey replied, and followed him to a clear patch in the middle of the large room.
They smiled awkwardly at each other and started to move slightly to the music, bodies slightly touching but Jack seemed more interested in just checking out the ‘scene’.
After a few songs, someone tapped Joey on the shoulder.
“Wanna dance once?” it was Dawson. Joey didn’t know how to respond, but Jack sensed what was up and nodded, smirking slightly. "See ya later Joey.”
“Umm….uh….” Joey uttered as Dawson lifted her arms and placed them around his shoulders.
“Having a good time?”
Joey shrugged, her eyes focused on a spot behind his head.
“Look, Joey, let’s stop playing games. I’m sorry about the other night. Jo?” Dawson gently took her face in his hand and tilted it towards his.
“Okay? Can we put it past us? If I embarrassed you, violated you in any way, it was not meant to happen. A total accident—I don’t know what came over me.”
He sounded genuine enough. Joey nodded slowly. “I’m fine. It’s okay.” She felt kind of disappointed. Then something else—emptiness.
“I better go now.” He said softly. “Jen’s waiting.” They broke apart.
“See ya…. Whenever. I don’t do letters, unfortunately.” He chuckled a little.
“Okay. Bye.” Joey smiled a little. “Hope you enjoy yourself…. In whatever you’re doing.”
“See you.” He whispered kissing her hand and then her charm bracelet. He then turned and walked off to meet Jen.
Joey felt all-woozy and was sure that she needed to sit down…. God, she was going to miss the guy.
*****
Jen let herself into her house, feeling low. Her boyfriend had made it quite clear he ‘didn’t do letters.’ Even though she had begged him for days. Now she felt like crying. What was she going to do without him? She would miss him so much! “Don’t look at any other girl.” She had teased him whilst they were saying goodnight. He had chuckled. “That won’t be possible.” Jen sighed. He was so…. Not romantic. Which made him even more romantic. Their last kiss before he said he had to go was extremely passionate; she didn’t want him to forget it. Jen then beamed when she remembered their last words. She had said slowly, “I love you.” And he had said it back. “I love you.” Wow. Talk about shock! Jen bounded up the stairs to her room, sure she would have good dreams that night!
TO BE CONTINUED….
Part three, “Waiting for a Girl like you.”
By Anne Gooding
Rating: PG-13
Authors note: Go Dawson and Joey, 2001-2002!
Summary: Troubles begin.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Joey had promised herself to at least try and do better in school so she could avoid any more run-ins with her father. He was starting to soften a little on the grounding rule, which she didn’t stick by anyway, half the time.
But she found it hard to concentrate in class, her mind drifting off someplace else—like a closet, or a bed. But one afternoon, a month or two after Dawson had left; a senior had rushed in and whispered some news to her American Cultures teacher, Mr. Bronson. “You’re having me on!” he exclaimed to the excited looking girl.
“It’s all over the radios!” then she ran out. Mr. Bronson forgot he had a class and walked out, leaving his class to rise their voices in puzzlement and amusement.
“What the fuck?” Jen exclaimed, and Andie and Joey exchanged interested looks.
“I’ll go find out!” someone volunteered, and raced out. But 80% of the class thought this was a good idea, and wow—what an opportunity to get out of class! And Joey soon found herself one with the other three girls, sitting in the abandoned classroom. The noise in the halls was loud, and Jen stood up. “Can’t we get any dammed answers around here?” she snapped to a passerby.
“What’s going on?”
“The president’s dead!” he yelled. “He was shot! Like, three hours ago!”
Jen’s jaw rolled open, Joey, Andie and Abby’s followed suite.
*****
“Outrage.” Mr. Potter said fiercely to his neighbor, Mrs. Leery. “Of all the events to happen! Unbelievable.”
“Tragic.” Mrs. Leery said mournfully. “Poor Jackie.”
“Hmmm.” Mrs. Potter murmured as she poured herself another brandy.
“Now we have to get another bloody president.” Mr. Potter growled.
Joey sat in the corner of the room, reading, bored already with their discussion which involved words like, “Unbelievable.” “Outrage.” And “Tragic.”
Joey thought it was inevitable. The guy was famous; he was loved, hated. People like those were in danger. He was, and he was shot. It was tragic, though.
And Mrs. Leery kept saying, “His poor wife.” Joey wondered idly if JFK had ever been faithful to his wife, anyway…she banished the thought and put her concentration back to her book.
After a few minutes, she realized the adults had moved onto a different topic.
“…the army. Very brave. I’m so proud of him and everyone else. America needs people like the youth of this town, to serve and protect the nation.” Mrs. Leery was saying excitedly. Joey looked up from her book. Was she talking about Dawson?
“Do you think we’re in danger at all?” Mrs. Potter said, finally speaking.
“Of course.” Mrs. Leery said dramatically.
“Do you even know what’s going on in Vietnam?”
“I don’t watch the news.” Mrs. Potter said lazily.
“You should.” Mr. Potter snapped, then he looked appreciatively at Mrs. Leery. “It’s good you know what’s going on around us, Gale.”
“You mean war?” Joey suddenly spoke out. The three adults all stared.
“Is there a war going on in Vietnam?” she repeated herself.
“Well, Yes, dear.” Mrs. Leery said.
“Though I don’t think it’s a suitable subject for you.”
“I think I do need to know what’s involving America.” Joey answered back quickly, not believing her courage.
Mrs. Potter looked impressed, Mr. Potter looked mean.
“South and North Vietnam are arguing with each other. We have to help.” Mrs. Leery said slowly, smiling sweetly at Joey like she was a small, incoherent child.
Joey looked back down at her book, vowing to research this topic. She wanted to know more—especially why America was involved. And she now thought she knew where Dawson had gone.
****
“It has something to do with that war going on in Vietnam, I know it.” Joey insisted to Andie the next afternoon. Andie grunted something and her eyes narrowed as she painted another layer of putrid pink onto her toe- nails.
“Andie? Are you listening?” Joey snapped. Andie looked up. “Huh? Oh, yeah, Pacey was telling me something that involved Vietdob or whatever yesterday….”
Joey lay back on her bed, clutching her pillow to her stomach, “I sure hope he’s not thinking of going!”
“Why not?” Andie replied, wriggling her toes and replacing the cap on the bottle of nail liqueur.
Joey stared at her in disbelief. “Andie, it’s a war. Killing and guns and what we learnt in class and shit. I keep hearing all this stuff about being loyal—about American youth and stuff from my dad and I’m beginning to think—“
“Joey!” Andie laughed, interrupting. “Why are you thinking about this? It’s boring, anyway. All you’ve done since I came here is go on and on about Vietbon or whatever ever since I came here. It’s boring, i tell you! Tell me more about Dawson—you never did say how far you went, you know.”
Joey bit down her irritation. She was being too hard on Andie lately, doing nothing but snap. So she replied as kindly as she could, “I don’t know the bases.”
Andie sat up and started counting on her fingers. “First base is touching. Holding hands, you know. Second base is kissing; tongue may or may not be involved. Third Base is fingering…. As in, he touches you there, and all the way is…. All the way.” Joey was astonished Andie remembered this off by heart.
“Well—um—I guess only second base.”
“Wow.” Andie swooned, falling to a heap on the floor. Joey giggled.
*****
“You have no right to argue about this, Joey.” Pacey said, his voice tinged with annoyance the next day. Joey had followed Pacey out of class, exclaiming her horror at his reluctance to say or do anything about the war, which was in her opinion, just bad news.
“How would you know, anyway? Huh? You’re a girl. Go play dolls or try on makeup, don’t poke your nose in world affairs.”
“You are an arrogant bastard and a half.” Joey said hotly. “I may be just a girl but I’ll bet I’m smarter then you In every way!”
“Yes, Joey, you’re so mature.” Pacey rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what Dawson sees in you—“ he stopped and Joey’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?” she said quietly. “Why did you say that?”
Pacey recovered, and then snorted. “Don’t play dumb with me. Almost everyone knows you like him, and he likes you.”
Joey went red, and fumed, “Not true! You idiot! How would you know anything?”
Pacey, who had started to walk away whirled around and pointed an accusing finger in her face. “I saw you two giving each other goo-goo eyes, duh. And the closet—he was giving you tongue. I swear, If I hadn’t interrupted you two would have been fucking around. Anything else I should know? You may not think it’s that big a deal, but I do. Especially when his girlfriend, Jen, is starting to get a little suspicious. And at the party. It’s all so obvious, and you’re stupid if you think you can hide it.”
Joey shook her head, dumbfounded but angry. “You know what Pacey? You’re just mad because you can’t stand the fact Dawson has Jen and he may have me. You’re in love with that little bitch, and I wouldn’t put it past you to cozy up to her while Dawson’s away. Too bad she wouldn’t even think of cozying back up to you.”
Pacey said nothing. He just marched away.
Joey snarled after him and turned around, then stopped dead in her tracks. Jen was standing behind her, her mouth agape.
“Jen!” Joey gasped. Uh oh. She expected Jen to scream, ‘what about you and Dawson?’ but she didn’t.
“Pacey likes me?” she just gasped incredulously. She held a hand to her hair, and furrowed her brow. “Gosh! That’s so—cute.”
“I’m sure.” Joey said nervously.
Jen shrugged and went on her merry way. She had obviously only just heard, “You’re in love with that little bitch, and I wouldn’t put it past you to cozy up to her while Dawson’s away. Too bad she wouldn’t even think of cozying back up to you.”
As Joey walked slowly away, she began to question her feelings for Dawson again. Did she ‘love’ him? Oh, god no. Love was—well, it was Romeo and Juliet. Lancelot and Guinevere. What she felt for Dawson was left over from a wonderful friendship, years ago. Right? She gingerly touched her bracelet. The same one he had give her, the same one she hadn’t taken off since he had left.
****
“Pacey? Pacey Witter? Jesus!” Abby gasped. Jen nodded, and quickly looked around to see if he was anywhere in hind’s sight.
“I thought he liked Joey. Or Andie.”
“Same.” Jen giggled.
Abby twirled a bit of spaghetti around her fork. “Does he have a chance, hon?”
Jen snorted. “Not even. He’s cute, but I’m in love with Dawson. You know that.”
“Hmm.” Abby winked at her. “When the cat’s away will the mice play?”
“Never.” Jen said firmly, picking up her sandwich. “I am probably the most faithful girlfriend in the world.”
“By the way—do you know where he went?” Abby asked curiously.
Jen was quiet for a few moments, then she replied, “He went with his dad to a sort of training-convention place for the army. So when he’s eighteen he can go straight over to Vietnam.”
Abby’s eyes widened. “What?” she gasped. “Really?”
“Really.”
She shrugged. “I think it’s kinda cool.”
“Try telling Joey Potter that.” Abby said sarcastically, pointing to where Joey was now giving Andie another lecture. “I overheard her yelling at Pacey several thousand times today. Does she know where Dawson went? Does anyone else know?”
“They better not. Only I’m supposed to know, since I’m his girlfriend and all.” Jen said casually.
“I doubt Potter knows. What’s she saying, anyway?”
“That, you know, the war is bad and shit.” Abby rolled her eyes.
“Drivel.”
“Oh.” Jen murmured. She didn’t say anything, but secretly she agreed with Joey. She just wasn’t sure why. But then, she didn’t know much about it.
*****
I fear Several months later, Senior Year.
“Your country needs you.” Joey read off a blue and white poster outside the bakery on a sunny Thursday afternoon.
“Propaganda.” She muttered, crossing her arms and waiting for Andie to complete her purchase.
Andie came out holding a brown paper bag, which contained a doughnut. She raised her eyebrows at Joey’s cross expression. “What’s up your butt?”
“Nothing. Let’s get to the record store before it closes.” Joey sighed, linking her arm through Andie’s.
“Okay, so, I am so excited about the dance.” Andie gushed as they walked towards the store, Andie swinging her bags joyfully.
“Have you brought your dress yet?”
“I was thinking I’d buy it today, maybe.” Joey mused, peering into a dress-shop window.
“But it’s no big deal.”
“You bet your ass it’s a big deal.” Andie said blithely.
They entered the record store and the bell on top of the door jingled loudly. Andie headed straight for the all-girl groups, but Joey froze.
“Dawson?” she gasped. The man she had been staring at, who’s back was turned to her whirled around. Yes—it was him! He was back! Joey nearly dropped her bags.
“Woah.” He exclaimed, jumping back when he realized who it was. “Whoops—hey.”
“Uh—yeah—“ Joey stuttered. She hadn’t seen him for months! Almost a year. She was now seventeen, and had grown about two more inches. Her hair was now halfway down her back and she had put on a bit of weight around her breasts and hips—more curves.
He certainly looked different! His whole form was bigger and he had a bit of stubble on his face.
“I can’t believe it.” Joey said softly. “I didn’t know you’d be back so soon—why didn’t you tell me?”
“I came back last night.” He informed her, striding towards her and patting her arm welcomingly.
“I’ve been in town all day, buying stuff, hanging out. You know Thomas, right?” his blonde friend waved then went back to looking at records.
“Yeah—“ Joey muttered. She blinked. “Wow.” She laughed. “So, um, you’re just in time for the dance.”
“I know. Jen told me,” he grinned. “We spent a good part of this morning together.”
Joey nodded, straining to keep her smile on her face. “Oh, that’s nice.” She then continued slyly, “So—where did you go, these past ‘few’ months, Dawson?”
“Hmm? Oh…nowhere of direct importance.” He said lightly.
“I’ll bet.” Joey said frostily. Dawson raised an eyebrow at her sudden cold demeanor.
“Look, Dawson, wherever you went, you must know that—“ she started to say but he cut in. “I’m sorry Jo, but I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said hurriedly.
Things then went a bit awkward. They both stood still, eyes darting back and forth between each other. Joey consciously hid her bracelet behind her back. “Dawson!” Andie then shrieked, finally realizing he was there. She flung her arms around him, something Joey hadn’t done and slapped his arm playfully.
“Wow!”
While Andie gushed, Joey kept her eyes focused on an advertisement poster.
After five minutes of Andie-gushing and Dawson- polite-nodding, Joey clutched Andie’s arm. “Okay Andie, time to go.” She said in a fake-nice voice.
.“What? Well, okay.” Andie said reluctantly. Joey dragged her away, trying not to meet Dawson’s eyes.
“See you, Jo, Andie.” Dawson called after them.
Once they were outside, Andie slapped Joey’s arm.
“You were so rude to him, Joey.”
Joey shrugged. “So?” she tried to keep her face expressionless.
“So? He—you—ugh!” Andie threw her hands up in frustration. Joey just shrugged and started to sashay away. She had wanted to ask Dawson a lot of things in the record store, but she hadn’t been able to say them.
*****
Joey finished zipping her lavender colored dress up, and knocked the closet door open a little wider so she had more room. Ever since he had been back, he being Dawson, she hadn’t taken her chances—she had gotten dressed behind the large mahogany doors of her wardrobe.
She then gingerly stepped out and raced over to her chest of drawers. She spritzed some rose-scented eau de toilette onto her wrist, now naked, her daizy-charmed bracelet lay at the bottom of her laundry hamper. Joey wasn’t exactly sure why she was angry with Dawson, but she was. Whenever he had tried to strike up a conversation with her at school she’d make up a flimsy excuse and leave hurriedly. She avoided him at lunch, in the car park and at home, and made sure her windows were locked tight at night.
“Josephine!” she then heard her mother yell tiredly up the stairs. “Andie’s here.”
Joey grabbed her little bag and slipped into her shoes, still puzzling over the amazing fact her father had let her go to the prom. She and Andie had been anticipating over it for weeks. Joey laughed dryly, wondering if it would meet Andie’s expectations.
*****
“Ohh man there are teachers everywhere.” Pacey whined, and he put his ‘spiking bottle’ away. He was right. They lined the walls, their hawk-like eyes watching over every little movement on the dance floor and beyond.
“Just think of it as something to look forward too after the prom.” Dawson suggested, and Jen asked, “What are we going to do afterwards?”
“Party.” Andie said enthusiastically.
“That’s for sure. You do know, Dawson, Jack, that we only have a few weeks left here?” Pacey said questionably. “We have too enjoy ourselves as much as possible, then it’s work, work, work—“
Dawson sent Pacey a warning look, and Pacey stopped abruptly just as Joey’s head snapped up.
“What do you mean?” she snapped.
“Here we go again.” Jen groaned. She untangled herself from Dawson’s grip and headed straight for the refreshment table.
“What is it?” Joey asked. “Huh? I have a feeling I’m one of the few not to know…”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.” Dawson sighed. “But Jen told me you had been making a big deal out of it all—I had made her promise she wouldn’t tell anyone about where I had gone, let alone—“ he paused. “Well, where we all will be going.”
“You mean—you told Jen but you didn’t tell me?” Joey replied, aghast. “And don’t play stupid. I know where you’re going. It’s all over the fucking town. Well, I tell you what I think--”
“Calm down.” Jack interrupted softly, patting her arm. “Joey, okay? Just calm down….”
“Why should I have told you first?” Dawson cut in hotly. ”It’s not like you’re---you’re---“
“What?” Joey screeched. Andie, who was getting a bit sick of this grabbed Joey by the hand and tried to lure her away. “Come on Joey, let’s go cool down.”
“No.” Joey said stubbornly, staying where she was, her arms crossed.
“You’re all joining the army, aren’t you? So you can go to be in that dumb war, aren’t you? Or at least, try. And you couldn’t be bothered telling me because you got it into your thick heads that I might not understand or something?”
“ You don’t!” Dawson retorted. “Look, I didn’t know you were opposed until Jen told me, before that, I couldn’t tell anyone where you was going. Jen was an exception because—well, I don’t know, okay?” Dawson tried to keep his voice down, but he felt like yelling at Joey who wasn’t doing much to help with his inflicting emotions at all. So he did only what he could—turn around and follow Jen’s lead.
Screw Joey, he thought. I don’t need her giving me one of her lectures. Joey grabbed Jack’s arm. “Come on.”
*****
Despite herself, Joey began to enjoy the dance. Jack was extremely charming and kept her giggling as he paid out the girl’s dresses and the guy’s outfits. “Can you say two pigs wrestling under a blanket?” he drawled, using a widely known anecdote.
Joey smothered a laugh, then became serious. “What do you think of Jen’s dress?” she asked softly, spying Jen and Dawson dancing not faraway from them.
It was a stunning yellow/gold subtle ball gown dress with thin straps. Joey felt like a boring old cow in her simple, form fitting dress, which reached below her knees. It had her father’s approval, though.
“I think it’s—“ Jack tried to find the best adjective.
“Very—flashy.” He eventually ended up saying, smiling down at his seething partner.
“Why do you even care, Joey?” he asked in a fatherly tone.
“I don’t.” Joey answered quickly.
“I’m just curious what you think.”
“Do you think she’s prettier then you?” he asked softly.
Joey couldn’t help but nod a little, and smiled, embarrassed.
“Hmph.” Jack said thoughtfully.
They were both quiet, then Joey spoke up. “You too? You’re going as well?”
Jack’s jaw tensed up, and before Joey knew what was happening, he announced, “Partner Swap.” He had to avoid her question.
Joey stared at Jack, shocked, then at Dawson and Jen who both reluctantly parted. Joey knew it was rude not to accept an invitation for any type of dance, so she let Dawson pull her into his arms. But she glared evilly at Jack all the same. Jack winked at her and whirled Jen off, Jen giggling in surprise.
“Sorry.” Was all Dawson eventually said to her. They were careful not to touch ribs, and his touch was light on her waist.
“Fine.” She replied tightly.
“Where do you get off being so self-righteous?” Dawson then asked fiercely.
“How do you know anything about what we’re going to do?”
“Because I do.” Joey replied a matter-of-factly.
“It’s going to be nothing but bad—“
“Good experience.’ He cut in.
“How could you? You don’t even know what’s going to happen over there! Stop following the adult’s ideas and go with your own!” Joey said passionately.
“How do you even know it was their idea?” he cut in.
“I need to get out of here, Joey, don’t you realize that?” she raised her eyes and stared into his blue ones, which were brimming with desperation.
“When dad offered for me to go away with him for that training camp I couldn’t say no. It was the best opportunity of a lifetime—who knows where it will take me after wherever I go next?”
Joey didn’t know what to say. Because now, she understood why he wanted to leave. He too, was bored. He too, didn’t want to spend the rest of his life here. He was getting out. Whilst she would stay here, like her father wanted her to do. He wanted her to marry well…a lawyer maybe, have four kids. Live a cookie cutter life. Joey felt sick.
Her arms tightened around Dawson, almost as if she wanted to squeeze his ambitions out of him and into her. Dawson bit down hard onto his bottom lip. Don’t you dare get hard you pussy-bastard he scolded himself. This ‘embrace.’ Was one of friendship, and he had done enough to her in the way that opposed that. If he did anymore, he wouldn’t just be hurting her, but Jen…and he couldn’t ever do that. But he couldn’t stop himself—she couldn’t. Their hips moved sensually together, and his hand smoothed over the curve of her backside. There was a loud, indignant gasp from behind them, and they both looked quickly up.
*******
“We weren’t having sex, dad!” Dawson exclaimed, frustrated, crossing his arms in defiance and denial. “Dawson!” his mother scolded him. “Don’t mention such vulgar activities in this house.”
“We were just dancing.” Joey seethed. Her father hadn’t stopped glaring at her since the school had called their parents to pick them up, for ‘vulgar, crude mannerisms, actions and sexual displays in public.’ According to Miss Grey.
“Dancing like a show girl.” Mr. Potter snorted. “Or so Miss Grey said.”
“Exactly.” Joey yelled. “Miss Grey hates me!—“
“Where do you get off, Dawson, huh?” Mr. Potter then said to him, repeating what Dawson himself had said earlier on.
“Corrupting my daughter like that?”
Dawson opened his mouth to shoot a smart-mouthed reply but Joey gave him a harsh warning look. Dawson then said as calmly as he could, “I didn’t mean to do anything offensive, Mr. Potter.”
“Answer me just this then.” Mrs. Leery then spoke up. “Are you two sexually active? Together?”
“NO!” Dawson and Joey yelled together.
“He’s dating Jen.” Joey sighed as Dawson said at the same time, “We’re just friends.”
They both shared an eye roll.
“I never want this incident repeated.” Mr. Potter said icily. “Joey— go straight to your room. No after-prom parties for you.”
Joey stood up mechanically, and without even a look at Dawson, walked out, dragging her mind along with her body. Dawson swallowed hard as he watched her leave.
****
Two months later.
“This means nothing.” Joey sighed, fingering the blue ribbon on her highschool diploma.
“Don’t say that.” Andie said bossily, reapplying her lip- gloss with great care.
“You’ve been so gloomy lately I don’t know what to do with you anymore. The boys have made their minds up, and you can’t stop them.”
“It’s not just that anymore.” Joey said sadly. “I’m numb to anything. I still can’t believe they’re going tomorrow—but I just realized I have my whole future ahead of me—and it’s as bleak as this gown.” She slid her hand down the dark black material.
“Lithium would do you some good.” Andie advised her, and she took out a tube of lipstick. “Lower your face.” She instructed Joey. Joey did so, and she sighed as Andie applied some bright pink lipstick onto her lips.
“Look, Jo.” Andie said as brightly as she could as she applied the cosmetic, “There’s a bonfire beach party tonight, sort of a graduation going away do.” She blotted Joey’s lips with a tissue.
“It’s going to be huge, and I mean that. And you have to go…” Andie stared into Joey’s sorrowful brown eyes. “I don’t want to force you. I want you to come on your own terms—but I’m telling you now. Dawson will be there. And you have to make amends with him.”
“I know.” Joey said softly. She stared across Andie’s shoulder at Dawson and Jen’s happy figures, watching as they hugged and laughed.
“He’s my best friend. No matter what happened between us.” Joey’s voice got stronger and she stood up straighter. “I will make peace with him.” She then laughed. “I sound like a character from some strange alien movie.” Andie slung her arm around Joey’s shoulder and they walked towards the refreshment table.
“Tonight is going to be a night to remember.” Andie declared. Joey cracked a smile
*****
Hey Mr. Tambourine man was playing on the mini radio, stacked upon a log by the fire.
The bonfire which had been created an hour before, crackled and popped, it’s strong, orange light casting it’s warmth and sparks over the nearby students, all relaxed and happy thanks to the numerous supplies of alcohol and the disbelief school was over—forever.
Jack plucked drowsily at his guitar strings. Next to him, Jen talked non-stop to Dawson. “Don’t ever forget me, or our promise.” She said harshly, clinging to him. Dawson nodded, subdued.
On the other side of the fire, Andie offered Joey a cup of beer. Joey took it. “This blows.” She remarked to Andie. Andie giggled. “I guess it does a bit—but it’s only nine-o-clock, it takes more then just two hours for the party to get started.”
The song then changed to Twist Again and the radio DJ loudly announced, “This is for all you graduating students of 1964! Enjoy the summer kids.”
For some reason, that small announcement got everyone going. Before Joey knew it, practically everyone was dancing, all bare foot, short shorts, grinding in the sand, laughing, drinking and just being ‘free.’ Joey started to smile.
She wandered around for a bit, having a quick smoke, talking to a few ex-classmates about future prospects. Most were going to college and Joey felt sorrowful, for she wasn’t. That meant she’d miss out on a lot. “It won’t be too bad.” Pacey said sympathetically.
“You’ll find something exciting to do here eventually.”
“Thanks.” Joey said dryly.
“Well—have fun wherever you’re going.” she then said awkwardly.
“Hmm.” He nodded, and they looked at each other for a second. He then pulled her in for a quick hug. “I’ll miss you, and Jen, and Andie.” He said softly.
“I know. I’m sorry—“ Joey lowered her voice. “Things never worked out for you and Jen.”
Pacey shrugged, grinning sheepishly. “Who knows?”
He then gestured in Dawson’s direction. “Likewise.” Joey snorted. “I never—well, you know, wanted him.” Joey said hurriedly.
Pacey nodded, murmuring vaguely, “Oh. Maybe it’s just him then. He hasn’t stopped staring at you for over half an hour now.”
Joey raised an eyebrow. “Huh?” Pacey tactfully strolled away and Joey looked suspiciously at Dawson, who quickly snapped his head back to a talkative Jen.
Well, it was now or never. Joey took a deep breath, and then turned around and approached him.
“Dawson? Hi….umm, I was wondering if I could take you, I mean, talk to you for a second. Just one.”
Dawson looked at Jen and she frowned, but he just nodded agreeably and untangled himself from Jen.
“One second.” Jen snapped, giving Joey a death glare.
Joey gently took Dawson’s hand and led him off, past the party, past a sand dune, and eventually stopped when they were a fair way away from the party so they could have a little privacy for a few moments.
She turned to face him and clasped her hands together. “Dawson—I just need to say to you, sorry, about me arguing…. and I’ll miss you. Heaps.” She smiled, a little unsure what to say next.
Dawson chuckled. “Was that so hard?”
“No.” Joey replied.
“I’m going to miss everyone.” Dawson said huskily. “But not as much as I’ll miss a certain someone.” Joey’s eyes widened when she realized he meant her.
He smiled gently, then turned around and started to walk slowly back to the party.
Don’t let him go….
A wave of desire rushed over Joey so hard, she flung her arm out and yanked him back to her by the cuff of his shirt. Closing her eyes and crushing her lips to his, she pushed her pelvis into his body and sighed delicately, savoring his warm breath and musky cologne as she kissed him senseless. She smoothed her hand over his warm face and neck. This was heaven.
If he was surprised, he didn’t show it straight away. But eventually, he slowly released their lips and stepped back. They stared at each other, breathless. Joey then felt very humiliated when she realized what she had done.
“Oh—Dawson—I’m so sorry.”
His eyes were dark and unfocused.
He reached out, and took her hand in his, caressing it sensually.
Joey began to feel dizzy again. “I don’t mind. It’s okay.” He whispered.
She swallowed nervously when his fingers traced a line down her belly button, underneath her shirt. He then lowered his face towards hers, and softly pressed their lips together. Their tentative kiss grew into a hungry, urgent kiss that threatened to set the sand beneath them on fire. There was no turning back now. Neither could deny what they felt right there, at that moment.
*****
Joey wasn’t sure how she’d managed to get Dawson’s shirt off, but here they were, lying on the sand and he—had no shirt on. She was on her back, and his weight was pressed deliciously into hers as they made out hungrily. Her hands made their way all over his smooth, warm skin, pressing him closer to her.
She never wanted to stop. She never wanted him to leave her. She felt the oncoming waves of desperation crash into her every time he started to move off her. So she pulled him back. Now he was staring into her eyes, questioning as he unzipped her denim shorts and started to wrestle them down her legs. Joey lifted her hips for easier access. Right now, she didn’t care what they did. She wanted to do everything. His fingers brushed over her throbbing centre, he could feel how damp she was from the outside of her panties. Joey’s breathing grew soft and sallow as he touched her gently, knowing exactly where to press. Joey’s face grew warm as she felt her thighs tingle. He then took her clothed nipple into his mouth and she gasped in surprise.
Joey then started to clumsily undo his belt buckle as he nuzzled and kissed her warm neck, murmuring her name. They kissed again, sweetly he massaged her tongue with his until she was panting for air. Then, his hooked his thumbs into the sides of her panties and slowly slipped them down her legs. Joey bit her lip, trying not to feel so inadequate as he gazed upon her. She was totally naked on the bottom. He then helped her slip her shirt off so he could see her full breasts, the nipples extremely hard and peaked with a new desire. They were beautiful.
She was now completely naked, and started to shiver as the ocean breeze caressed her goose- bump covered skin. He gazed down at her. Her hair tangled with grains of sand, her eyes were wide and dark with fright mixed with desire. Slowly, gently and cautiously he parted her thighs, remembering she was a virgin—she hadn’t done this before. His erection was painful as he stared down at the place between her thighs, the place he wanted to be. The place that she wasn’t so sure about.
At first, he slipped in one finger. His thumb caressed over the tiny little spot above, the spot he knew was extra sensitive. Joey trembled and gripped his arms as she adjusted to the feel. He then slipped in another finger, then another. Joey blinked away tears as she felt him caress her over and over again. Her eyes lost their focus, all she could see was black spots in front of her eyes as she lifted her hips and arched her back, trying to outride this feeling that was coming over her, and fast. She gripped onto his back with one hand, and he sucked the fingers of her other. “Oh Jesus…” she moaned, feeling something sort of explode down there. She lay back, panting and he released his fingers. He held her in his arms, softly kissing her neck as she tried to gather her wits. He massaged her bare back and she started to tug at his jeans—knowing what he wanted. She was more then ready, and curious, to try.
She released his length from the confines of his jeans, and held it in her hand, stroking it as he settled himself between her bent legs. His hard length pushed against her soaked folds, and slowly, he edged into her. Joey cried out at the hot stinging pain, the feel of him pushing right into her. It felt like she was on fire down there—literally. “Shhh.” He moaned, trying to make his strokes as gentle as possible. He smoothed his hands down her bare thighs, parted to let him into her. He gently massaged her swollen breasts, laden with perspiration. They kissed softly, hotly and sensually as they made love. “You okay?” he whispered at one point, feeling himself near coming. Her reply was a simple nod, then she started to whimper. “Uh…huh….”
Slowing his thrusts as he came inside of her, he watched her eyes carefully before burying his face into the warmth of her neck. Joey rubbed his back soothingly, her eyes watching the sky, filled with stars…millions of them…all blurring and duplicating…”I love you…” was all she could whisper.
****
Pacey watched Jen blink back tears of shame, and he felt his heart break.
It had been over an hour since Joey had led Dawson away, and it was anyone’s guess where they went. It was so obvious, though. Their last night together—in a fit of desperation, they probably made hot, passionate love behind a sand dune. Pacey felt anger swell up in him. Damn Dawson to hell! Jen was oblivious to the whispers around her, the knowing grins, the sympathetic looks. Everyone now seemed to guess what the pair was doing. Pacey felt embarrassed for Jen.
”C’mon, Jen…” Pacey whispered comfortingly in her ear. “I’ll drive you home.” Jen nodded numbly, and let him take her by the elbow and lead her towards his car.
Andie watched the scene, biting her lip in amazement. Never in a million years did she think this could happen.
Poor Jen. Despite her less-then-friendly feelings towards the girl, Andie felt sorry for her, and a little angry with Joey and Dawson, for being so damn selfish.
******
Never, in their lives, had things between the two been so awkward. The initial high of making love was over. The post-coital ‘snuggling’ was as over as soon as it started. Hurriedly zipping up her denim shorts, Joey didn’t even look at Dawson as she grabbed her shirt from him.
“Are you—okay?” Dawson finally asked.
Besides feeling like he had lit a fire between her legs? Fine….Joey fluffed out her hair and stood up. She then gasped when she felt a wet fluid seep out of her panties and down one leg. The fluid was his semen…and a remembrance of what they had just done.
“I’m going to go home now.” She said, her voice tone strangely high.
“You can’t run from this, Jo.” Dawson said harshly, grabbing her arm to make her stay.
“No, I can’t, but you can.” Joey said stiffly.
“Stay. Here, with me.” Her eyes were now pleading. Dawson roughly let go of her arm and yanked his shirt over his head. “Go to hell.” He said gruffly.
There was a loud, sharp smack as her hand met his cheek.
“No, you rot in hell, you lousy bastard!” Joey yelled. “How dare you have sex with me—and then—then—“
“What?” he cried, exasperated at her attitude. “In case you don’t remember, you had sex with me! We had sex together.”
“It was a mistake.” Joey instantly choked out. “Go to your stupid war, and don’t ever speak to me again.”
“I won’t.” he hissed, grabbing his shoes. “Go flash your prudent shit at someone else. I regret sleeping with you.” then off he went—over the sand dune and across the car park towards his car. Sobbing, Joey fell to the ground on her knees and screamed after him, “I HATE you!”
She lay back on the sand, weeping her eyes out. Shaking, she wrapped her arms around her body and whispered, “No—I love you…why did you have to leave?”
Innocence lost…
Joey was aware of a dull pounding in her head as her eyes slowly opened, and she tried to adjust to the sun coming into an unfamiliar bedroom. Light snoring from the bed above her indicated she was with someone else.
Oh—that’s right, Andie. The walls in this room were pink, posters of Elvis, the Beatles and a football pendent adorned the walls. Rolling over with a sleepy groan, Joey stared up at the ceiling. It was Saturday. First day of Summer.
Her pelvis ached. She needed to pee. Getting up slowly, she ignored on-coming tears as she softly but clumsily stumbled to the bathroom. Yanking down her underwear, she gasped when she saw spots of blood there. The pain was fresh. It was sharp. It made her feel dirty, and like someone was inside her, squeezing her heart till all her blood drained out.
She started to shake. No, Joey, noooo… she pleaded herself. Don’t start crying now. It won’t help. He wasn’t ever coming back. To Capeside, maybe. But never back to her. She wasn’t his best friend, his girlfriend, or his lover. She was just a fuck.
****
Andie had offered to go home with Joey, but Joey declined the offer. “Can I sleepover your house instead?” she sniffled. She didn’t want to see Dawson at all. Andie, who was dying to ask questions, withheld them for the sake of being a cautious friend. “Sure.” She said, and slung an arm around her shoulders.
“We can eat ice cream and listen to records.” She said soothingly. Joey snorted. “I’d rather go to bed.”
Andie sighed. “Jo, one day, will you tell me what happened? He didn’t—“ Andie paused, and took a deep breath. “He didn’t rape you, did he?”
Joey shook her head sadly. “No. Let’s just go.”
On the drive home, Andie had been distant. She stared at Joey who looked tried and drawn, her eyes narrowed. Had Joey really had sex with him? What had happened?
*****
“What a whore!”
“She’s probably done the whole football team.”
“I’ll bet she has.”
Joey kept her tears in check as she walked down the main street in Capeside, grocery bags in each arm. She had just heard Jen and another friend talking about her.
The summer was not off to a good start. Five weeks had passed since that night on the beach, and ever since then, nothing had gone well for Joey. Jen wasn’t sad or embarrassed anymore. She was angry. And she was going to make Joey pay.
Joey was so depressed at the vicious gossip, the bleak future she felt she had and losing Dawson, she began to throw up every morning, too sick to face the day. She was so lonely without him, Pacey or Jack. She missed them already and she realized she might never see them again.
She spent all day reading, writing and eating practically nothing. Even her father began to pity her. Luckily, he hadn’t heard the rumors yet—a miracle by pure luck. Joey wondered how long it would last. Finally reaching her street, Joey rushed for the front door and hurled herself inside. She threw the contents in her arms on the kitchen bench, then raced up the stairs. Undressing in front of her mirror, now no longer having to worry about a spying Dawson, Joey gently touched her sensitive breasts.
Her stomach felt and looked swollen.
She was late three weeks. She had been to see a doctor on the other side of town, and using a fake name, had had a test done. “Congratulations.” He had beamed. “You are almost five weeks along…”
Joey again felt the sickening fear rise in her chest, and she willed for it to go away.
“Go away baby.” Joey whispered to her stomach. “Please….go …”
Tears dripped down her cheeks. “Daddy will kill me.”
****
Andie went over as soon as she got Joey’s call.
“Joey? What’s wrong? Come on, tell me.” Andie pleaded her. Joey sat on the bed, her knees tucked up underneath her chin. Her purple throw cushion rested beneath her feet.
“I’m pregnant.” She whispered. “I haven’t had my period for a long time. Dawson—he—“ she swallowed hard and blinked away tears.
Andie’s jaw fell open. She gasped, and tried to find words to say, but could utter none. She stared at her friend, who’s face was pale and gaunt, whose eyes were sad as she stared lazily back. Finally, Andie spoke.
“There are---procedures.” She whispered, shaking. She never thought she’d have to say this.
Joey looked away, knowing what she meant.
“They can—take the…the…thing away.” Andie whispered again. “If you know what I mean—“
“I do.” Joey choked out.
“But—I can’t.”
Andie went pale. “You mean—you’ll have it?”
Joey shrugged. “I don’t know—but I can’t kill it. It’s—innocent.”
Andie looked away as well.
“Andie—please, do me a favor and don’t tell a soul. I’ll figure out what to do myself.” Joey pleaded her.
Andie still didn’t say anything. After a moment, she stood up. “I better go.” She said quickly. She paused for a moment, as if to say something, then hurried out. Joey stared after her.
Then she lay back onto her bed and cried.
****
“He was drunk, obviously.” Jen said snippily to Andie. “I can’t blame whim wholly for the incident—I mean—he wasn’t himself, you know?” They were waiting in line at the Cinema. Andie wrung her hands nervously together as she studied a movie poster. oh god…oh god… she anxiously told herself. How much longer can I keep this news to myself?
“But I don’t know how much longer I have to lie to myself—“ Jen took a deep shuddering breath and stepped forward. “Two for Gone With The Wind, please.”
She turned back to Andie as the woman behind the counter collected two tickets.
“I am heartbroken.”
Andie shrugged sympathetically.
“When he comes back he is going to get the—the--yelling of his life. But is it his entire fault? I KNOW what they were doing. Did she seduce him?” Jen continued to babble as they drifted over to the popcorn stand.
“I need answers.” She sighed. Andie’s cheeks puffed out. She couldn’t breathe. If she breathed, she’d have t tell Jen. But soon it got unbearable, and she was afraid she’d pass out
“Joey’s pregnant.” Andie blurted out, letting out her breath roughly and starting to pant.
Jen dropped her purse and stared at Andie hard, her eyes wide and threatening to bulge out of their sockets.
“WHAT??” she finally screeched, causing several cinema goers to crane their necks to see who was yelling.
“Joey is pregnant. She told me yesterday.” Andie hissed. “She and Dawson did have sex, and now she’s going to have a baby—I told her she should get RID of it, but she says she can’t…” she stopped. Jen’s eyes were blank and she mechanically reached down to retrieve
her purse. Neither of them noticed the popcorn girl, a fellow ex-student at Capeside High listening intently, her eyes widening also.
“Oh my god…oh my god…” Jen whispered over and over. Andie guided Jen into the theatre. “I know. Shocking, huh? I mean—she doesn’t feel like my real friend anymore. She’s now—pregnant Joey.”
Andie shrugged. “I don’t know how she’s going to get out of this one.”
*****
“I’ll tell mom. She loves me, she’ll understand.” Joey whispered to herself in the bathroom mirror the next day. But her expression gave her real thoughts away. She was scared shitless. Her mother was, had always been, weak. But—maybe, once, just once, she’d be strong for her second daughter. Wiping away more tears, Joey exited the bathroom slowly, and descended the stairs. It was now, or never. She was scared, but she had to do something.
The living room was dim, someone sat in a chair by the window, a small glass of brandy sat on the table next to her chair—no doubt her mother, or, ‘the alcoholic’ as some people referred to her as.
“Mom?” she croaked out.
“Is it true?” a deep voice rang out. Joey froze. That wasn’t her mother.
The figure in the chair stood up, and she saw with a sinking heart his features, which were twisted with rage.
“Are you—“ he paused and clenched his fists. “Are you carrying Leery’s child?”
Joey opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. She couldn’t see anything but whiteness as she tried to get a grip of the situation. What would she say to make him not get mad? What would she do…?
“Answer me now.” His voice was an eerie calm.
Maybe he would be sympathetic—maybe he’d help her….
“Yes…” she whispered.
She wasn’t sure about the chain of events that occurred after she muttered that one word. All she knew was that her arm and eye was throbbing with an intense pain, a pain that almost paralyzed her. She was on her back, and he was yanking at her hair to get her back up. She screamed for him to let go of her, but he didn’t heed her pleads.
“Get out.” He growled, dragging her over to the door and flinging it open. “You STUPID whore! And where’s that boy? I will FUCKING KILL HIM! How DARE he lay his dirty hands on YOU!”
“He’s not here!” Joey screamed, struggling to get out of his tight grip. “He’s ‘defending’ this god forsaken country!”
Lifting her up, he literally threw her outside. She landed on the pavement with a sickening crunch and a cry of pain. He slammed the door behind her.
Sobbing uncontrollably, Joey got up slowly and painfully, holding her arm. She saw Mrs. Leery peering out at her from behind the curtain inside her kitchen, but when Joey saw her, she shoved the curtain back in place.
So. Everyone knew. Not even bothering to analyze the situation, Joey worked out a roughage plan. Limping to her bedroom window, she managed to swing into her room, crying out softly with pain. Grabbing a bag she stuffed it with clothes, underwear, her money bank and a hairbrush.
She then tiptoed out of the room and went into her parent’s bedroom. She could hear her father yelling, swearing and throwing things around downstairs. Her mother was screaming at him, “WHY? SHE’S OUR DAUGHTER!” Joey felt a flood of compassion for her mother, but it passed. Grabbing her father’s wallet and her mother’s, she stuffed them into her bag and then got the hell out of that house, address book in tact. Where could she go? Who’d take her in? She was alone, and all of Capeside thought she was a cheap whore. Running along the road, her eyes scouring the address book, she stopped when she saw a familiar name. “Aunt Vera…..Connecticut….KL5-3321”
The Bus station wasn’t far ahead, and that was Joey’s last stop before she vowed to leave Capeside forever.
****
The ticket woman stared suspiciously at her fresh wounds: a black eye, red arm, and a slight limp when she walked away, ticket in hand. “You okay, sweetie?” she called after her. Joey flipped around cautiously, and nodded.
“Fine.” She whispered. She settled down slowly on a waiting chair. Her bus would arrive in about an hour, apparently. The woman looked around. The bus place was nearly empty. She reached for her purse and waddled out of the ticket building.
“You might want some antiseptic cream on that, hon.,” She said kindly, taking out a tube and gently lifting the girl’s face towards hers. Joey flinched but let the woman dab on some of the soothing cream onto the scrapes.
“If you don’t mind my asking, what happened?” She asked gently. “You fall over?”
Joey didn’t know what to say…she wanted to badly a shoulder to cry on, but she didn’t know this woman. And if she found out, she’d shun her as well.
To hell with it she thought.
“My dad beat me up.” Joey said quietly. “Because my next-door-neighbor and ex-best friend got me pregnant. He’s in the army now, you know. And he doesn’t like me, though. Either does anyone else. So I’m going somewhere else.”
The woman felt tears pricking in her eyes. The poor girl! She couldn’t be anymore then seventeen, and she was all alone and so vulnerable.
“Where are you going?” she asked, sitting down next to the girl, who was beautiful even with a black eye.
“My aunt’s. I don’t know if she’ll accept me but I’ll just wait and see.” Joey said. “I always remember her being nice to me, and…she’s the only relative I know that’s far away.”
“I hope it all works out for you.” The woman said warmly. She then stood up. “Wait here a second.” When she came back, she passed Joey a small paper bag. In it was a drink, sandwich, a card—“That’s my number. You call me if you get into any trouble”—and several Band-Aids.
Joey felt overwhelmed with this woman’s kindness. “Why are you being so nice to me?” she asked.
The lady shrugged. “Let’s just say, I was in the same situation. ‘Cept my guy was in the second world. He perished out there, though. My baby—Dominique—is almost thirty now. Has two kids of her own.”
Joey sniffled, amazed at the similarities between them. Just then, her bus noisily pulled into the bus station.
“This is yours.” The lady said. “Good bye.”
“Bye.” Joey whispered, standing up, clutching her duffel and paper bag tightly.
“Can I get some service?” an old man yelled from the service desk. The lady quickly waved and ran back to her job.
Joey stepped onto the bus, still staring at the lady. She’d never forget her.
****
TO BE CONTINUED
Part four, ”Flower Power.”
By Anne Gooding
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Joey seeks refuge at her Aunt’s and finds herself in a completely different world.
_______________________________________________________________________________
The walk to the secluded area in which her aunt lived, a few miles away from Connecticut, took an hour. A whole hour after she had hopped off the bus—and she was exhausted. Joey didn’t think she had ever felt so uncomfortable in her entire life. She begged her stomach to behave—she had thrown up already that morning and whenever she looked at food she just felt queasy again. She had been living on Apple Juice for the past ten hours. Placing a hand on her stomach she closed her eyes, sighing, as her fingers danced across her navel. “Baby, baby, what are you doing to me?” she murmured to her little bump. She’d call the little brat “Sick” or “Sand” she chuckled bitterly.
When she saw the sign that indicated she was close to her destiny, she started to feel that familiar fluttering in her chest—the flutterings that signaled fear. What if she won’t accept me? Joey fretted. Her duffel bag was heavy on her shoulder, and all she wanted was to sleep forever. But she willed herself to go on, to just wait and see. When—okay, if—her aunt did reject her, she could always kill herself. Joey sniffled, and tears welled up in her eyes. Suicide was an option—right? But the thought of killing herself made her feel scared to the bone.
You’re being silly she then scolded herself. The best option would to actually have an abortion. Joey stopped thinking about that immediately, and decided that concentrating on her nausea was better then thinking about subjects like suicide and abortion!
****
Joey’s aunt Vera lived in a run-down but fairly big family-inherited ranch house on Pericot drive. Pericot drive was different to a lot of the streets in the area. It was very prominent; it’s houses old, some small, some big, most of them not in the best condition. The grass needed mowing; the trees that lined the road and stood proudly in back-gardens were all huge, with dark branches and looked about 100 years old. They swayed in the gentle breeze, causing Joey to shudder involuntarily. Her pace quickened. She had to get this over and done with—should she have called? She had her aunt’s number, after all. But calling her had been the last thing on her mind… Stupid girl she berated herself.
Joey suddenly felt a douse of dizziness wash over her. “Hmm….” She groaned, closing her eyes, clamping a hand on her belly, which ached, and then her head which felt like 3 hammers were hitting at it constantly.
Oh well—no time like the present. Joey raised her hand to knock on the giant mahogany door when it opened abruptly and Joey jumped back in fright.
“Who are you?” a voice rudely enquired. The man who was asking her that was very tall, and he had very long, dark hair. Joey thought he looked rather strange.
“Umm---I’m—Vera’s niece.” She stammered.
“Ohhh… pretty little thing, aren’t we?” he said, his voice softening. He turned and yelled into the dark house, “Vera! Your niece is here!”
There was a thud, an exclamation and then a wiry, short woman with fiery red hair tied up in a knot with a streak of gray, appeared beside long-haired man.
“Cheryl….? No! Joey!” Vera stared at her in surprise.
“I haven’t seen you since you were about thirteen!” she gasped, laughing a little.
“What are you doing here, hon? Stopping by? I suppose you’re about—eighteen now?”
Joey nodded. “Yes.” She felt dizzy again, and wished she could sit down. “This is Marty, I’m coaching him in English lit.” Joey wondered if that was all she was teaching him.
“Poor thing, you look like you’ve been run over.” Vera said sympathetically, though her expression still had a tinge of curiosity etched on it.
“What are you doing here? Come in, come in.”
The man followed, looking as if he was besotted with this tall, brunette creature, whom had appeared out of nowhere, mysterious and enchanting, though looking and feeling like she hadn’t slept for days.
Joey sat down on the nearest armchair and said straight-out, “You were the only person I felt safe enough going too. You were so…kind to me all those years ago, and…” she looked away fro a second. Vera had put down the coffee in surprise. “This doesn’t sound too good…” she said in a hushed voice. “Tell me, Joey, what’s wrong?”
“Well—it all started at this end of year graduation beach party…”
By the time Joey had finished putting into place what had happened and why she was there, Vera looked slightly mollified. Long-hair man, otherwise known as Marty, held the same expression.
“I hope to god your baby hasn’t been damaged, Joey.” Was the first thing that came out of her mouth. “I—I don’t know what quite to say—“ she let out a long breath and exchanged looks with Marty. Joey suddenly felt very sleepy.
“Um, I’m not demanding anything.” Joey said weakly. “But I was wondering if I could stay here for a few days…overnight, before I decide what to do…”
“Are you going to keep the baby?” Vera asked kindly, squeezing Joey’s hand.
Joey shrugged, her eyes wide with sudden naivety. “I wouldn’t have a clue.”
“Terminating it could mean harm to your body, Joey. And are you sure you’re ready to deal with the—the implications of losing your baby?” Vera asked softly.
Marty was looking distinctly uncomfortable at this time, so he decided to up and go. “I’ll see you next time, Vera.” He called from the hallway. He hesitated. “Umm—see ya Joey.”
“Bye.” She said faintly.
“Sleep on it.” Vera then said decidedly. She stood up and held out her hand. “This has been a long day for you, and I think you need some rest. Forget about a few days staying her…” Joey raised her eyebrows, “…a few months might be better, dear.”
“Oh, I don’t know…” Joey said in a rushed, breathless voice as Vera guided her up the stairs.
“Sleep.” Vera commanded. She pushed open a door, and flicked on the light. The room was small. It held a bed with a rugged quilt, a wardrobe, a bay window and a multi-colored rug.
Joey didn’t notice the closed in musty smell as she practically fell onto the soft bed. Her eyes shut as soon as her head hit the pillow. Vera shut off the light, and then went downstairs to place Joey’s duffel bag outside her door. After a few moments, she eyed the phone. What she wouldn’t give to ring Mike up, and scream bloody murder. Vera felt anger building up deep inside of her. She vowed to look after Joey with all her being, and to never let Mike or Lillian Potter into their lives again.
****
Joey stayed in bed for a few days, eating and drinking anything Vera gave her to eat. “Folate enriched foods.” Vera said briskly, pointing to the wheat-germ yoghurt. “Very good for the baby and for you.”
Then one day, Joey decided she’d get up, and stay up. She ran the shower as hot as it was safe to be (Another caution from Vera) and washed her hair three times with the crazy-looking concoction her aunt had made—green shampoo, made out of mint leaves and soap. “The only thing I buy is food and lady-wear.” Vera had informed Joey as she boiled up a huge pan of face cream. Joey, grateful for everything Vera had done, agreed to be the first person Vera would try the cream on. It was actually really nice—cucumber, cooling, and left her skin silky-feeling.
When Vera wasn’t making creams she would start to knit. “It’s a blankie for our special visitor.” She grinned when Joey had asked what it was for.
“Who?” Joey had asked in complete innocence. Vera gestured towards Joey’s stomach, which still looked very normal. Any normal person wouldn’t be able to tell she was pregnant. Only Vera knew, and Joey knew. It was a strange feeling…a bloated feeling. Her jeans felt tight, and her underwear was uncomfortable. She was about three months gone, which meant she had stopped ‘yakking’ every morning.
Joey stroked her belly softly, still in complete awe of the idea she was pregnant, and with Dawson’s child. So much had happened in the past few months.
“How about we make you some new clothes?” Vera asked, considering Joey’s size in months to come.
“Um…okay.” Joey said weakly. She felt a bit embarrassed when she realized her aunt was looking at how her jeans couldn’t even zip up the whole way anymore.
“And tomorrow I’m going to introduce you to everyone. My friends, the neighborhood…you might as well be sociable while you’re here.” Vera said excitedly.
Joey swallowed, too nervous to say what she was feeling. “What would they think about a pregnant, unmarried girl like me?”
*****
Marge and Terri were the first two women friends of Vera Joey met.
Marge was a forty-five year old wife of a musician, and Terri was her nineteen-year-old daughter.
“So how are you liking this part of the world?” Terri asked in a bored tone. She had beautiful raven black hair, very long and curly, tied loosely with a brown bow.
“Umm…it’s nice.” Joey replied shyly, trying in vain to cover up her bump by hiding behind the kitchen table.
“Good for you…I’m getting out of here as soon as I finish my beauty course.” Terri lowered her voice on “I’m.”
“I’m heading straight for New York. Hey, why don’t you come with me?” Joey coughed nervously. She barely knew the girl!
“Oh, um…” she stammered, but Terri interrupted, laughing. “I’m kidding. I know you can’t travel, I mean, being pregnant and all. Mind if I have a feel?”
Joey’s eyes had widened in shock. She knew?
“You know?” she hissed.
Terri looked slightly taken aback. “Sure I know. Vera told us. Why—you embarrassed or somethin’?”
“A little.” Joey admitted.
“Don’t be.” Terri reassured her, patting her hand kindly.
“I heard all about your scum lover and scum father. Men suck, don’t they? That’s why I’m thinking about becoming a lesbian…mom’s not too happy but then she knows shit about men. My dad’s always away in like LA, and I bet you he screws around.”
“Terri, you clean your mouth out with soap.” Marge yelled from across the room. “Speaking to a woman with child like that. Now her soul needs to be cleansed.”
“Oh, I’m right.” Joey said quickly.
Vera chuckled, and then held up a pair of what looked like men overalls, with little patches of colors sewn all over it.
“What do you think? I think it’ll be for your fifth to ninth month.”
Joey raised an eyebrow. “Sure…” she said, studying it, a shy smile suddenly appearing on her lips.
“Thank you.”
“No problem, honey.”
“Hey Joey, can I paint your nails?” Terri asked suddenly, picking up one of Joey’s hands.
Joey laughed, suddenly feeling a lot warmer and comfortable. “Yes, you can.”
“And pierce your ears?”
Vera and Marge both shook their heads in haste, and Vera made a death sign on her neck. Joey smothered a giggle. “Umm…maybe not, my ears are a little sensitive.”
“No prob.”
Terri took a nail kit out of her bag and laid it out on the table.
*****
Jen winced almost painfully when she saw Mrs. Leery walking briskly towards her at the mall one Saturday afternoon.
“Jen dear, I want you to promise me something. I know you know where to write my son, and if you ever do, never, ever tell him of that…unfortunate incident, okay?” Gail whispered fiercely.
Jen nodded quickly.
She hadn’t told anyone this, not even her own friends, but ever since she had found out Joey had been literally kicked out of her home, a great feeling of guilt had settled upon her heart. Poor Joey. The more Jen thought about it, the less it seemed like it was Joey’s fault. At night she had visions of Joey’s sad, frightened face, walking slowly across town, people whispering and shaking their heads in disgust.
”Are you—going to go see her? And your grandchild?” Jen asked meekly. Gail took in a sharp intake of breath.
“Jennifer Lindley, speak a word of her, or her bastard child to anyone, including me again,
and I will make sure you get a firm punishment. She no longer exists. She’s dead. Ok?”
Jen rolled her eyes. “Gail—“ she started off but Mrs. Leery turned on her heel and resumed shopping, smiling just like the graceful TV anchor woman she was. But underneath, her heart, like so many others, was black and cold.
Should she tell Dawson? Should she write a letter to him, and tell him everything? Or would that ruin things for everyone? Dawson, I hate you because you screwed Joey, but I’m telling you this anyway…she’s pregnant, her dad kicked her out and last I heard she’s in Connecticut somewhere…! it would be so easy!
Jen sighed and swapped her shopping back from the right to the left. Better not. The nagging feeling wouldn’t go away. God—it so wasn’t like her to be concerned so much, especially about Joey, a girl she had never particularly got on with, a girl who had ended up having sex with her boyfriend, therefore the consequence of that was she ended up becoming pregnant, the whole town treated her like shit and so she ran away. Was it all her fault?
Of course not, it was also the guy’s fault. The guy in question…Jen grit her teeth.
Sitting down heavily on a bench, Jen took in her surroundings. The mall. The same, boring old people. Her life loomed ahead of her….get a business degree, maybe. Work for her dad? Register to be a nurse? Eww, sick people…
Or I could go to Connecticut and apologize… the thought swept over her and took her by surprise. Had she really just thought of that? But the prospect excited her.
*****
Joey had grown quite comfortable at Vera’s, despite the constant guilty nagging she felt at her side. She met up with Terri almost every day, and Marty came around from time to time, to talk casually and ask after the unborn baby who was quite hurriedly taking up all the room in Joey’s stomach. She had grown accustomed to a daily schedule—Vera would get up at the crack of dawn, meditate, then go to work which was an hour’s drive away.
Vera ‘taught’ yoga, meditation, basically human well-being and aromatherapy to a bunch of people aged 16-55. She loved her job and the people in it. Joey would stay in bed until ten, sometimes eleven, then she’d slowly get up and grudgingly did the ‘special’ exercises Vera said were vital to the baby. She’d then pick out a weird book from her aunt’s collection, and flip through it, blushing at some images portrayed. Such books her Aunt kept were, “How to please a man,” “Lovemaking from different times.” “A woman’s secret.” And what looked like a naked-woman and man picture book. (She’d pretend not too but in her mind she would be secretly comparing those pictures to what he did to her those few months ago. What they did.)
Something, told her that maybe her aunt was—or used to be, promiscuous. She’d eat what she could find, then she’d sleep for a few more hours and dream of kissing Dawson again.
By her fifth month, the little child was kicking, therefore Joey found it harder to sleep.
“She or he comes after their father.” Joey joked weakly one night at dinner, after an amazing kicking-fit.
”He played football.”
Vera looked very interested, and put down her wine glass. “Joey—do you mind if I ask what the situation was with this boy?”
”We were best friends for years.” Joey started off quietly. “But then he went off and got a beautiful, blonde girlfriend, and I—I was sort of left behind.”
“But how…” Vera started, but Joey interrupted. “One night at a party, we were dared to kiss, and he was a little stoned I’m sure, so we did…that kind of made me start to like him, a little. He started acting friendlier. Offered me a drive to school, flirted with me, touched me…” Joey laughed a little, and Vera smiled softly.
“But then the stupid war ruined everything….he joined up you see, and I didn’t agree. We had fights, he left for some training thing, then on the last night we kind of…got a little desperate.” Joey blushed as she said that, but Vera didn’t laugh. “Go on…”
“Go on how?” Joey giggled. “It’s obvious what happened.”
“Was it any good?”
Joey nearly bit her tongue in surprise. She blushed harder and Vera finally laughed.
“I gather you were a virgin.”
“Of course I was…” Joey replied meekly.
“Do you love him?” Vera asked.
Joey played with her rice, than shrugged. “He left me. He said…I was a prude when I said I didn’t want him to go…we had a fight after we…you know.” She rubbed her belly.
“He probably hates me. He’ll probably…not come back, anyway.” Joey felt tears prick in the corner of her eyes, but she held them in.
“Can we not talk about it?”
“Of course.”
They were quiet. Then suddenly, the doorbell rang.
“Ugh. Probably Victoria and her slimy boyfriend.” Vera muttered. She wiped her hands on her skirt, then got up to answer it. Joey sipped her milk.
“You want to see Joey?” Joey’s head snapped up when she heard that sentence in the various snatches of conversation.
“Joey?” Vera called. “Umm…someone here to see you.”
“Who?”
“Jennifer Lindley.”
Joey choked on her milk. “What?” she gasped. Jen hurriedly came into the kitchen, ready to apologize. Joey scrambled off the chair and hid behind the kitchen bench. She didn’t want Jen to see her like this.
They both stared at each other, pity and remorse in Jen’s eyes, anger and fright in Joey’s.
****
“What the fuck are you doing here?” were the first few words that came out of Joey’s mouth. Both Jen and Vera cringed slightly at the toughness in her voice and how she had blazingly swore.
Jen wrung her hands anxiously and stammered profusely as she tried hard to come up with a good explanation. “I’m sorry.” She finally blurted out.
“I’m sorry that I was so horrible to you—but you can’t really blame me—you slept with my boyfriend.”
Vera’s eyebrows raised in interest.
“At first it hurt…but now I realize you were both in on it and….and…I thought about you, and your baby…” Jen looked down at Joey’s stomach, which failed to be hidden behind the kitchen bench.
“And how everyone kicked you out—and I just felt sorry for you. I liked you, you know. You were fun…spunky, a little rude, but cool otherwise…” Jen trailed off, realizing she was off-track.
“We both loved him.” Jen said, taking a deep breath. “And I don’t know what happened that night, but you didn’t deserve to be treated like that just because you’re…pregnant.”
“So I came down here to apologize, and um…too have a little break from Capeside, too….if only for one night….and I want to ask your permission to tell Dawson about…the situation, too. He…wrote me a letter.” The letter was short. “Hey Jen—man I hate planes, I always get sick. Have a nice summer. See ya. D.”
But enough to tell Jen he was still—well, he wrote to her. Maybe that meant at least something, like he was still ‘talking’ to her. Although she really should have ripped it into tiny shreds. What Dawson did was unforgivable.
“No.” Joey said quickly, putting a hand on her belly. “Don’t tell him anything…”
“Joey…” Vera interrupted, but Joey held up her hand in determination. “Not one word. He doesn’t want to know. And as for you….” She turned to Jen.
Jen wheeled back, waiting for her to yell. But she didn’t.
“I’m sorry…I’m sorry I hurt you.” Joey whispered.
“I know you love him….Loved. and…I’m actually a lot to blame…”
“I doubt that.” Jen said softly. The two girls smiled shyly at each other.
“Jen, how would you like to stay for a little while?” Vera said cheerily.
“Joey needs some young companions. Four months left!”
Joey blushed, and Jen’s eyes widened. “God…you’re right…” she looked a bit uneasy, but stomped mentally on it. “Sure. I’d rather stay here then in that dumpy town any day.”
*****
“What did he say in the letter?” Joey walked into Jen’s room, a navy blue room with shelves and shelves of books, most probably all on sex.
Jen had a small back with a few clothes, she had intended to stay (Quite risky to begin with) and luckily they had invited her too.
Jen looked up from reading a particular book. She blushed and quickly stuck it behind her back. Joey laughed.
“Trust me, I’ve seen them all before. The books, I mean.” She sat down on the bed, and the springs squeaked. “I don’t think this bed is built for three.” Joey sighed, and Jen couldn’t help but giggle.
Jen passed her the letter. Awkwardly she waited while Joey read it. “That’s funny. I thought he was a man of many words.” Joey said lightly.
Jen shrugged. “Are you sure you don’t want me to tell him?”
Joey shook her head, “No.”
Jen picked up Dawson’s letter and ripped it up into several shreds. “Bastard.” She said quietly.
“Hmmm.” Joey agreed. She lightly touched her daizy bracelet behind her back.
“Heard from Andie yet?” Jen asked.
Joey rolled her eyes up to heaven. “No, and I’m not surprised. The minute I announced I was in trouble, she took off.”
“Bitch.” Jen muttered. Then she blushed. “I’m one, too, though.”
“Yeah.” Joey agreed, smirking. “But you’re an okay bitch now.”
Jen gingerly placed a hand on Joey’s stomach. “What’s it like? Being pregnant?”
“Weird. You gain about ten pounds, your feet swell, you get zits, you need to pee every ten minutes and I can’t see my feet. Also, the baby kicks like a champion…”
“Just like its dad.” Jen said sarcastically.
Joey shrugged. “So…you’re going to keep it?” Jen asked. Joey nodded.
“Yeah. I—I just can’t give it away. And I couldn’t have an abortion, either.”
“Have any names?”
“Son of Bastard, Daughter of whore…” Joey ticked them off on her fingers and Jen lightly slapped her on the shoulder.
“Lamaze? Clothes?”
Joey nodded. “Vera teaches me herself. And we’re making and finding baby clothes.”
“Joey, if you don’t mind me saying, you are incredibly lucky to have an aunt like her.”
“I know.” Joey smiled.
“JOEY!” Vera yelled from downstairs. “You get you and your baby to sleep NOW or I’ll get the hose!”
“Jesus….”Joey moaned, slowly getting off the bed.
“Night Jo.’ Jen called. “Night Jen. And…thanks.”
“No problem.”
****
“How’s my pregnant friend?” Terri cooed as soon as she saw Joey lumbering down the stairs, rubbing her sleepy eyes. “Oh—hey Terri.”
“Today I’m going to wash your hair.” Terri said self importantly. “With Shampoo I made myself.”
“Cool…” Joey said in a shrill voice, eyeing the brown liquid incased in a small plastic bottle, that Terri held in her hand.
“Hey Joey, I got you Seventeen magazine.” Marty was eating breakfast in the kitchen. He strolled out, and handed her the glossy magazine.
“Thanks.” Joey smiled at Marty and then looked back upstairs. “Jen?” she called.
“Jen?” Marty and Terri said in unison.
“She’s a…um…friend from Capeside.”
“Jen?” Terri said again. “That Jen?”
“Yeah. But she apologized.”
“Hmph.”
Joey waddled into the kitchen and poked through the fridge. “Nothing but freakin’ hommus!” she muttered.
“Have some cereal, honey.” Vera said, pushing a bowl towards her. “It’s healthy.”
“Hmmm…” Joey whined. Jen entered, looking a bit scared. “Who’s your friend?” she mouthed. “She gave me the evil eye!”
Joey giggled.
****
They had a picnic at lunch, by the lake. Marge plaited Joey’s newly washed hair (It was actually very nice shampoo) while Teri gave her a manicure. Marty watched Joey. Jen noticed this and her eyes narrowed slyly while she and Vera chatted casually and pigged out on the hommus dip, olives and rye bread.
“Stacey, Kitty, Marissa….Junebug!” Terri was suggesting names, and Joey screwed up her noise at each one.
“What about a boy?” Jen asked. “Oooh.” Terri sat up. “Ringo, Paul, John…”
“Ohhh!” they all yelled and threw bits of food at her.
“I have an idea.” Joey finally said. “I’ll have the baby, look at it, and whatever comes to mind that’s what I’ll name it.”
“Well said.” Jen said, clapping.
The baby kicked a few times, and Joey yelped, then giggled. Grabbing Marty’s hand she laid it on her belly and he jumped in surprise. Jen watched shrewdly.
“How old’s Marty?” she asked Vera quietly.
“Nineteen. Sweet boy, don’t you think?” Vera said, giggling. She then flickered an eyebrow. “I know what you’re thinking.”
“Does he know what he’s doing? I mean, she’s still in love with him…” Jen whispered.
Vera shrugged. “I’m going to let things run their course. Joey needs a nice man.”
Dawson was nice. Jen thought. How would he be when…or if he returned?
*****
Three Weeks Later
The house was reasonably quiet. Joey could hear strains of music from Vera’s room, and gentle snores from Jen’s. She lifted her nightgown and stared at her stomach, still surprised when she saw it, still overwhelmed as she took in the pale skinned, humongous bump, which stretched, from below her waist to her abdomen.
The skin looked thin, almost see-through. It was firm, but soft and she gasped a little as the little baby kicked, sending ripples through her stomach. She couldn’t believe it—in almost three months there would be a baby.
She would go on long walks with either Marty or Terri, and sometimes, while they would talk and talk about singers, swingers and sausages, she’d think about what the kid would look like. Tall? Brown hair? Blue eyes? Would he have lips like Dawson’s, a chest like his, hips? His blunt temperament? Would they be dreamers? What would they think of her, and her situation?
Would giving birth hurt?
“Like the dickens.” Marge said, spreading her hands out. “It’s like giving birth to an apartment block building.”
“A watermelon.” Terri corrected her.
“A watermelon coming out of an opening the size of a lemon.” Marge said.
Jen fell off the bed laughing when she saw Joey’s stricken expression.
”No, Joey, it’s not like that.’ Vera sighed. “Anyway, I’m going to teach her how to welcome the pain.”
“She won’t welcome this kind of pain….”
“Yes she will. I did. It was relatively pain-free for me.”
“How would you remember? You had your kid thirty years ago…” Marge retorted. Cousin Charles, who (They thought) was in the middle of a jungle in Africa. “Besides, you were drugged out on Scotch and some other vile concoction.”
“A baby is made from love.” Vera said, starting one of her lectures. “Giving birth to a being made from love seed should be a spiritual event.”
“Not for me.” Joey blurted out, and instantly Vera looked embarrassed. Marge looked at her sympathetically.
“You don’t know exactly.” Jen said, shrugging, trying to make Joey feel better. “He—may have loved you.’ Joey knew how hard it was for Jen to say that, so she patted her arm. “It’s fine. Really, it’s fine.”
She stood up, and yawned. “I’m going to go make some cookies.”
“I’ll join in.” Jen followed her downstairs.
****
The phone, which was situated in the kitchen, rang while Joey was in the middle of mixing flour and butter.
She dusted her hands off, and threw a glance at Jen, who was studying the recipe’s book intently.
“Hello?” she answered it.
There was silence. Then someone coughed.
“Hello?” Joey said again, irritably.
“Josephine?”
Joey froze. Her stomach knotted up and she realized she was having trouble breathing.
“Mom.” She whispered. Jen looked up from the book, her eyes wide in shock.
“Josephine? It’s your mother.”
“I know.” She muttered.
“I just want to know if you’re okay.” She spoke briskly, but quietly, as if she was telling an important secret.
Joey was in shock. Her mother had never really cared if she was okay before, and now…
“How did you know I was here?” Joey finally said.
“I gathered you would.”
“Why do you even care?” Joey continued.
“Because you’re my daughter. Did you have an abortion?”
“No.” her mother gasped.
“You’re…keeping it?”
“Yes. It’s due in three months.”
“Put it up for adoption, Joey. Please. And come home. Your father will come around. ”
“I don’t care if he does or not.” Joey said angrily.
“Are you putting it up for adoption afterwards?” her mother repeated. Joey was quiet. She didn’t know if she wanted too, or not.
“I never want to see you again…okay? Don’t call here. You didn’t care about me when he threw me out, let alone now!” she slammed the phone down and quickly wiped away tears. She picked up the wooden spoon and continued stirring. “Jen, get back to work.” She snapped.
****
“This is stupid.” Joey whined for the fifth time that hour. She was perched against Marty’s chest, practicing her Lamaze with Vera.
Jen watched from the couch, where she was also watching “Gone With the Wind” on TV.
“You wont think it’s stupid when your baby is trying to make an appearance.” Vera said sternly.
Marty laughed uneasily. He had eagerly accepted playing, ‘dad’. But he was growing a bit uneasy as Jen sent him several haughty, knowing looks.
Vera noticed Marty looking at Jen, and she looked at her as well. She reeled back. “Jen, honey, I think it’s time we had a little talk….” Jen raised her eyebrows. “About your attire.”
Jen looked down at her blue blouse and pencil skirt. “What about it?”
Vera wrinkled her nose up in obvious distaste. “Everything. It’s a stiff’s uniform. You’d suit much better—and you’re not the pregnant one, you can try some grass. I think it’d do you some good. Or…you can always retreat home…” she shrugged.
Jen grimaced. “You’re saying you want me to go home?”
Joey whined. “Nooo…”
“Not exactly.” Vera replied.
She grinned wickedly. “I just think, that since you’re in my house, you need to let loose a little. Terri’s having a party tonight—go with Marty. Meet people, do stuff…” she trailed off. Jen considered this.
“Okay.” She shrugged. “Can I go?” Joey asked hopefully.
“I don’t think so.” Vera said lightly, shaking her head.
“You need an early night.”
“I’ve been having early nights for months.”
“After the baby is born, maybe Marty can take you out…and I’ll look after the baby. You can do plenty of things, but once it is born…of course, you’ll also have to be a fulltime mother.”
“Hmm.” Joey sighed. She was getting a little sick of Vera’s lectures.
****
Jen liked being stoned. Instantly, she forgot about a lot of things which had nagged her, and all she could feel was a sort of…calm buzzing which flowed through her blood.
Marty’s friends were excellent—all keen on issues like the war of course, but all friendly and open. Jen admired that. There were even a few blacks there. She had only seen them in books, or from afar.
She told them all about the guys she knew, who had gone to Vietnam. “My friend Joey was really pissed. She fought and fought, and stuck by her beliefs—that the war was bad. Y’know? But no one listened. Bastards and bitches. I swear, man, that freaking town is full of them.” Jen warbled.
“Joey’s great.” Marty said. “She’s so pretty…if she wasn’t pregnant, I’d ask her to marry me.” Jen giggled. “Joey’s into athletic types, Marty. You know, guys with big shlongs. And I don’t think you’d…measure up!”
“That’s nasty…” Marty drawled.
“It’s okay Marty, I’ll marry you.” Terri cooed as she sashayed in with more beer.
That was basically how future parties went for the next couple of weeks. Strictly speaking, Joey wasn’t missing out on much.
****
Several weeks after Joey’s mother had tried (But failed miserably) to make amends with her, Jen’s parents rang, to demand she return home.
“I’m eighteen, I’m legally an adult.” She argued. “Not till you’re twenty one will we let you run off and never return.” Her father yelled.
“And we know who you’re with! That pathetic, pregnant whore, Josephine Potter. I forbid you to spend anymore time with her—it’s hurting your and our image!”
“No.” Jen retorted. “I’ll go up there and get you myself!” he roared.
“You don’t know where it is!” Jen yelled.
Joey cringed. Why did Jen want to stay? Sure, they were getting along fine, but…still…there was still that tinge of awkwardness.
She stroked her belly and continued to eat her dinner, and listen to Jen’s heated conversation with her father.
“If this rebellion has anything to do with Leery, then you can stop right now because his parents and ourselves have given you both permission to get married as soon as he comes home.”
Joey heard this, and choked on her rice, and Jen’s eyes popped out of her head.
“What makes you think we want to do that?” she demanded hotly. “I think it’d do you some good. Have a few kids, settle down!”
“You’re such a prick.” Jen muttered.
“You’ll think differently soon.” Her father sighed, suddenly sounding older, and tired. “It’s no good, what you kids are getting up too today.”
Jen hung up on him.
She shrugged uneasily at Joey, who continued to eat.
“I like staying here.’ Jen said softly. “If it’s okay with you, I want to stay for the baby. But if you want me to go, I’ll go.’
Joey had her mouth full of food. She studied the patterns on the tapestry hung to the wall.
You can stop right now because his parents and ourselves have given you both permission to get married as soon as he comes home…I think it’d do you some good. Have a few kids… He has a kid. With me, she thought. Jen took her silence as a “Yes, go home.” So she quickly walked out of the room.
“Wait!” Joey called, rushing after her, “No…no, stay.” Jen raised her eyebrows in surprise.
“I think you’re pretty cool. And…you want to stay. You don’t have too, you want too, and I admire that…and I want you to stay.” Jen smiled softly. “Okay.” And she did.
Then, exactly three months, two days and three hours later, Joey went into labor, three days after it was due.
For ten hours, contractions wracked Joey’s body, threatening to split it in two. That’s what it felt like, anyway.
Her aunt kept telling her to ‘welcome the pain’. “I’m not welcoming ANYTHING!” she seethed. She walked around, holding onto Jen, until the pain just got too bad. But, thanks to gentle coaxing and pushing with all her might, within the next hour a small little screaming girl was placed next to her, wrapped in a worn towel.
Her little girl looked up at her with half-closed lids, seeing her mother for the first time. She had a shock of dark hair, and her tiny wrinkled hands flailed about listlessly, touching Joey’s daizy bracelet as she weakly stroked her daughter’s cheek. She was crying from relief, and she was utterly captivated by the feeling of complete love she had for this little person. Jen was crying, and Vera was crying, and so was Marge and Terri. The baby was the only one not bawling.
Joey stared at the baby girl and suddenly a name popped up in her mind. “Daizy.” She said, looking out the window and at the stars, which twinkled, as if winking at her. Night had fallen and the pain was over…of had it just begun?
****
“I wonder what they’re doing.” Dawson flicked a cigarette at Pacey, who flicked it back half-heartedly.
“Probably….eating dinner…or showering…man I’d like to see a naked chick again.”
Dawson looked up into the dark, foreign sky and saw stars twinkling far away. “Whatever they’re doing, I hope they’re happy.” He said quietly.
“I’m sure they are.” Pacey reassured him. “I know who you’re thinking about. And I’m sure she is.”
TO BE CONTINUED
Part five, “Cry Baby…”
By Anne Gooding
Note: Isn’t Daizy Potter the cutest name?? Sorry, lol cot a little carried away. Hope you enjoy!
_______________________________________________________________________________
“If my mother knew we weren’t baptizing her she’d freak.” Joey laughed to Vera as she lifted Daizy up off the changing table and gently rocked her hips up and down, trying to soothe Daizy’s small but obvious wails.
“I think every child has his or her own right to choose her or his own religion.” Vera shrugged. “But if you want too…”
“No, I don’t mind.” Joey interrupted, stroking Daizy’s soft, downy head.
Daizy was approximately three weeks, two days old. Her hair remained as dark as it was the day she was born, but she had grown two inches and her sleeping patterns were already obvious. She slept mostly during the day, then stayed awake, her favorite activity screaming her lungs out at night.
Joey was exhausted. But she had fallen promptly in love—from the moment little Daizy had looked up at her with big brown eyes (That way for now, but Joey guessed they might change color later on) Joey had been as smitten as a kitten. She was constantly playing with the baby, changing her, breastfeeding her, singing to her…she was tired, but she didn’t mind. But then, after another week, Joey started to feel strange.
Vera was shopping. The house was empty, and Daizy was crying loudly. Her face was red, and the noise was deafening. But Joey didn’t so anything. She stood, silent, by the crib, staring down at the small child with big lungs.
This was a part of Dawson. The same boy who had abandoned her, who had completely taken advantage of her….the guy she had loved. Daizy’s screams grew to the point where she could shatter glass, but still Joey did nothing.
She felt sad. Very sad. Why was her life so horrible? The only person she had in the world was Daizy, and the little cretin couldn’t even talk, she could only cry. Why? Was she angry? Hungry? Did she know her father was off in some foreign country, fighting for nothing, or worse yet, dead? He was probably lying on the ground, rotting, with three bullets embedded in his head. Daizy would never see him. He would never know she existed. Joey crumbled to the ground, sobbing relentlessly. Eventually, Daizy cried herself to sleep, while Joey lay on the floor, her eyes unblinking, not focusing.
****
Jen noticed something was up straight away. Jen was now living back in Capeside, working part-time in a fashion boutique, but she visited on the weekends. She noticed Joey wasn’t as loving towards Daizy. She breastfed her, then put her back into her crib and went off to talk to Marty, or read a book. She then started referring to her as, “Dawson’s kid”.
“Post-natal. It’s what they call three day blues, though in this case it’s three weeks blues.” Vera whispered to Jen, looking a bit worried herself. “I haven’t left Joey’s side since I realized—mothers at this stage can do anything. Once, this woman threw her baby out of a window, then shot herself.”
Jen gasped. “Oh no—that’s horrible!” she couldn’t imagine Joey doing anything like that—but then—
“How long does it last for?” she asked.
“Depends. Just give Joey all the attention she needs, okay?” Jen nodded in agreement, watching Joey sweat as she tried to reach her goal of 150 sit-ups. “I have to get rid of the baby fat. Literally.” She said, sighing.
*****
A friendship that bloomed in those few weeks of Joey’s ‘illness’ was the one with her and Marty. He gave her relief. Peace. He never talked about Dawson, or Daizy, or anyone. Just things like Poetry, or France, or botanical foods, which suited Joey just fine.
She liked him—he was sweet, sensitive and kind. And she knew he liked her. He kissed her one day, under the big oak tree. “It’s been a long time since you went through all that stuff with what’s-his-name.” He whispered. “I’m here if you need me.” His breath was hot, and his stubble brushed against her smooth cheek.
She kissed him back, but her thoughts went to the time she and Dawson first kissed. It had been a dark, cramped spot…a closet…his mouth had…she broke away from Marty. “I know.” She whispered, looking down at her jeans. “I need a bit more time.”
He understood. But nonetheless looked a bit disappointed.
****
.“Obba naar.” Daizy seemed to say as Joey changed her diaper. “Yes darling?” Joey cooed, tickling her plump little feet. It had taken a few weeks, but Joey was now back on her feet, caring for her child. Daizy needed her. She was Daizy’s mother. And It seemed a bit weird, but….she needed Daizy.
Daizy kicked her little legs in the air, making it harder for Joey to pin the cloth around Daizy’s belly. At Three months old, little Daizy Potter was a very energetic young lady, and enjoyed nothing more then wriggling madly when she was having her clothes put on or taken off, kicking the undresser in lots of painful places.
“Don’t kick mommy, honey.” Joey murmured, kissing Daizy on her little snub nose. Daizy squealed in delight and kicked harder as Joey eased on the little blue booties Vera had knitted.
“Ooohhh how’s my Daizy-poo?” Jen squealed, rushing over to Joey’s bed and starting to make baby noises and faces. Joey laughed as she watched Daizy’s bewildered expression.
Jen carefully hoisted Daizy up, and dusted away some flint on Joey’s paisley peasant top. “You look great.” She said. “Slim, happy, and beautiful.”
Joey blushed, and got her purse. “It’s only lunch. We’ll be back soon…” Joey looked down at Daizy regretfully. “Look after her.”
“Of course I will.” Jen said, patting Daizy’s padded little bottom.
“Go and have a good time with Marty. Talk…if you know what I mean.”
“Hmmm.” Joey kissed Daizy, then Jen, and walked down the stairs. The moment she walked out of the house, she felt a pang of sadness at the thought of leaving Daizy for a few hours. It’ll only be a few hours she said to herself. She realized she had never loved anyone so deeply before. If anything happened to Daizy, she would be devastated.
****
Joey and Marty walked back hand-in-hand. They had decided to go slowly. They liked each other, but not so much that they needed to jump into bed, or tell the whole world. The house was cool after being under the blistering sun, and Joey sighed in relief. “I’ll get some water.” She offered him. “Jen? Daizy?” she called, walking into the kitchen, Marty behind her, still holding her hand.
“Oh my god.” Joey gasped. “Oh shit.”
Jen sat in the rocking chair, Daizy perched in her lap, asleep. Vera was behind the kitchen bench.
Dawson and Pacey sat on the adjacent couch from Jen, both staring up at her. Pacey’s right arm was bandaged…but you could see that he didn’t have a right arm anymore. Dawson had a huge scar on his left cheek, and three -day stubble.
“Joey.” Dawson’s voice cracked with emotion. He tried to stand up, but he couldn’t.
Joey looked from Daizy, to Jen’s face, which was stained with tears, to Dawson. Her baby girl, the father, and the father’s ex-lover.
TO BE CONTINUED.
WILL YOU LOVE ME TOMORROW
Part fourteen, ”Wild Horses,”
By Anne Gooding
_______________________________________________________________________________
Both had been discharged from the army. Pacey had been wounded—his right arm had had to be amputated. They had been overseas for nearly a year—they had served their time, and made it known they weren’t interested in climbing higher up the ranks, to be a major or general.
They just wanted to go home, and live a normal life. After arriving in New York City, they had stayed with Dawson’s uncle for a few weeks, got a shave, hair cut, made plans. Well, tried too. It was November. Christmas and the New Year were sneaking up on them, so they went back to Capeside. To see family. Friends.
People welcomed them, congratulated them, than after that, simply ignored them. Why? For they were different now. They were angry at everyone, quiet. Confused. And Pacey didn’t have a right arm. (Dawson became his right-armed man.) People didn’t know what to say about the scar on Dawson’s cheek. How did that happen? Dawson didn’t say anything. They knew Jen was living somewhere. But every time they tired to find her, she was out.
Dawson wanted to know where Joey had gone. His mother had grown quite pale. “She’s missing.” She said quickly. Mr. Leery had glared at her. “No she’s not. She’s at her Aunt’s in Connecticut.” He had actually felt sorry for Joey.
“Why?” Dawson had asked. Mr. Leery tried to tell him. Tired to tell him that his son that he had gotten Joey, his best friend, pregnant. That she may or may not have had a baby, that belonged to him. But he couldn’t. “To get away from it all.” He finally said quietly.
Dawson had gotten the address, grabbed Pacey, and had taken the first bus there.
“You two look awfully glum. Where are you going?”
The ticket woman at the shelter asked, taking their money and looking on their injuries with interest. A lot of them around. Fifty or so around that area. “Drop-outs” people called them. “Sane.” She called them.
“I have to see a girl.” Dawson replied. “I have to tell her…I’m back.” he shrugged. The woman nodded, her eyes understanding.
When Jen had seen them, she had cried. The little baby she was holding started to cry as well.
Vera came rushing in and held Daizy as Jen held both the boys, babbling uncontrollably as they tired to calm her down.
“It’s not my baby.” Jen sniffled when they asked. “It’s Joey’s. Her name is Daizy Potter. She’s three months old, and she’s yours, Dawson.”
****
Vera fixed Joey some herbal tea, than sat her down next to Jen. Joey held Daizy tightly in her arms, avoiding Dawson’s gaze as she sipped her tea.
Marty wanted to stay, but he was asked to leave, just for now.
Pacey filled Jen Joey and Vera in on the trip, how they came here. Dawson stared at his baby, then down at his hands. Then he looked at Jen. Then Joey. He was abnormally struck by her natural appearance. Soft, flowered peasant top. Patched jeans. Her hair in a loose pony tale. No makeup. Daizy Potter was the prettiest thing next to her mother. Small, chubby, soft, with dark curls, and big blue eyes. She had woken up now, and reached for her mother’s breast, indicating she was hungry. Joey turned slightly away from them all, and lifted her top. Daizy latched on and drank hungrily as Joey stroked her head.
“How come no one told me?” Dawson finally said, watching as Daizy continued to feed.
Jen flushed, and sighed heavily. “We…didn’t think you’d care.”
“My parents…my so-called friends…did everyone know?”
“Sort of.” Jen cringed.
“I didn’t think you’d want something that half-belonged to me.” Joey said quietly.
“You never wrote to apologize, or anything.” Pacey and Jen looked away, uncomfortable.
“A lot of things happened to me, ok? Probably not as bad as what happened to you—I don’t know—but—“ Dawson stopped, and leaned back, staring out the window.
Vera realized this wasn’t the time to be making amends. “You two can stay the night. Hell, stay the week.” She offered. “There are spare bedrooms everywhere. You look rundown. I think a week here will do a lot of us good. Ok?”
Joey stood up, and holding Daizy close to her protectively, marched out.
****
After eating dinner, Dawson had a shower then went to bed and didn’t wake up till 48 hours later. During that time, Pacey tried to help Jen around the house. He had had lack of female companionship and wanted as much as he could get.
“How did--?” Jen gestured towards his lack of right arm.
Pacey, who was shuffling cards with his left hand by banging them on the table didn’t look up as he spoke. “Shrapnel. From a shell.” He finally looked up. “I was luckier then Jack.”
Jen raised an eyebrow. “What…? Where is he?”
“Jack’s dead.” Pacey spoke in monotone. “He was running behind me when the shell exploded. My arm was blown off. He…his whole…”he stopped, and Jen, horrified, started to cry.
“Chris killed himself afterwards. He and Jack had become really close.” Pacey handed Jen a tissue. “We set their football jersey’s alight. We had a memorial for ‘em, right in the middle of the fucking jungle.” Pacey continued to speak without breaking up, but tears were streaming down his cheeks. “My arm was hanging off the bone. Dawson had wrapped his shirt around it to stop the bleeding. It was disgusting. But I didn’t feel the physical pain because losing those guys…was…”
Jen placed a hand on his arm. “It’s ok. You don’t have to say everything now.” She wiped her eyes.
“I want too.” He whispered. “I want the whole motherfucking country to know what we went through.”
“I sympathize. I will never know what you went through, but I—“ Jen didn’t finish. She put her arms around him.
“You and Dawson are the bravest guys I know.” She whispered.
Joey was standing in the corner of the room, shaken to the core. She had heard the entire conversation, and a whirlwind of emotions bolted through her. Jack—dead. Dawson and Pacey’s ordeals. The missing arm!
“Stay here longer.” She said. Pacey and Jen looked up at her.
“You have too. You have too….heal—I did…”
“No, it’s ok. After a week, we’ll…”
“No, stupid. Stay.” Jen urged him. “I’m going to stay as well. You have to meet my new friends.”
“Ok.” Pacey agreed.
*****
Later on, Joey tiptoed into Dawson’s room, Daizy on her hip.
He was awake. The blinds were open, and the bed was made. He was sitting against the wall, in a pair of jeans and a shirt, flipping through a book.
“Hi.” Joey said. He was so surprised the book flew out of his hands. He jumped up, nervously pacing. “Joey…” he started, but she stopped him.
“It’s ok! You don’t have to say anything….not now.”
He focused on Daizy, who was now asleep, her head nestled on Joey’s shoulder.
“I can’t believe it.” He said. “I can’t believe we have a daughter.” Joey looked into his eyes for the first time, and saw a sort of…yearning. His hands started to reach out, as if to hold her or Daizy, but he stopped them.
“I missed you like hell.” He said, laughing a little, scratching his neck.
“I felt like absolute shit after…I mean, not after I mean, that was like, good, I meant…” Joey blushed. “I know.” She interrupted.
“I was just….I thought…I thought it’d be a game. Or, I’d be all heroic and shit. But It’s nothing like that at all. I didn’t want you to stop me. But now I wished you had. Because then I would have been here for you, and for Daizy.”
It was the first time he had spoken his daughter’s name. He gently, and very softly, touched a few wisps of hair on her little head. “I think she has your eyes.” Joey said. “Because no one in my family had blue.”
“Your hair.” He chuckled. “And your…well, beauty.” Joey laughed. She couldn’t believe it. Dawson was BACK. And they were discussing which sides of the family their daughter got her looks from.
How did she feel? About him? About the fact he was back? They both stood in silence, unsure what to say next.
“I won’t be here long,” he finally blurted out. “Umm…you have a new boyfriend, you seem really happy and stuff here. I don’t want to mess things up.”
“Stay a few weeks.” She urged him. “Pacey’s agreed. Stay for Christmas and New Year, and Daizy’s four-month birthday. Stay until….you feel better.” Or until I stop feeling so sorry for you, and start feeling the hate I felt when you left. she finished silently.
Dawson could read her eyes. “I’ll stay until January.” He then turned quickly, and picked up his bag. He started to rifle through it, and Joey realized this meant he wanted her to leave.
She left, her heart feeling heavy.
****
A Few nights later, Jen took Pacey and Dawson out to meet her friends. Joey declined Vera’s offer to look after Daizy, and said she’d rather do it herself.
She and Dawson had both refused to talk to each other one on one since the night she had gone into his bedroom. Dawson felt like he was intruding. Joey felt angry with him, and with herself.
She prevented him from seeing Daizy, by playing and feeding her in her bedroom, or talking her for walks with Marty. Marty, who she had kissed in front of Dawson. Marty, who looked a bit bewildered with her behavior. Marty, who was indefinitely weary towards Dawson, and the fact he was the kids’ dad.
“I think you’re being silly.” Vera finally scolded her, a week and a half after the boys had arrived.
“That young man in there has been through a lot. He’s the father of your child, and whether or not you still love him, you owe him at least a relationship or friendship. For Daizy’s sake.”
Joey scowled. “Whatever.” Vera stormed off in a huff.
But Joey had taken the words to heart. Late that night, alone, she sneaked into Dawson’s room and was relieved to see him awake. She sat down next to him on the bed.
“I don’t want to fight.” She said softly. “I know it was hard for you. It was hard for me, too. Though I can’t even…contend….how…horrible it must have been. Poor Jack.” Joey looked down at her hands.
“Are you glad to be home?”
“I haven’t got a home.” He shrugged. “At first I was okay in Capeside. But Dad got disappointed. He was angry I quit the army. Angry I dropped out. Said I was a wimp. I told him he didn’t understand—he has never been in my situation. It got too tense. So I came looking for you.”
“Oh.”
Dawson leaned over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He kissed her cheek softly, and whispered, “I know you’re angry and disappointed with me—but can we put it all behind us?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
He kissed her lips. “Is this okay?” he whispered into her mouth. She pulled away quickly.
“Can we just, please, be friends?”
She hoped her eyes said it all. Said what? That she really, really, wanted just to be friends…for now. Could eyes tell the truth?
The raw truth? Because if they did, he would see only desire. He nodded. “Whatever you want, Jo.” Joey started to cry.
It was the “Jo” that triggered it, mixed with pent-up frustration. Relief. Anger. Almost falling into his arms, she sobbed into his shirt. “I missed you so much.” She choked.
“I almost died when you left me on the beach.”
He held her tightly. “I’m back now…it’s ok…” they fell asleep, wrapped up in each other.
****
When Vera went into the kitchen the next morning for breakfast, the last thing she expected to see was a laughing Joey, watching as Dawson attempted to feed his daughter applesauce.
“She won’t eat it,” He said. “She just…slobbers it all over her chin!”
Daizy, sensing something funny was going on, banged her fist on the highchair table, and smiled for her dad, her mouth slathered in gooey apple.
“Daizy’s four months old today.” Joey sang to Vera, hugging her good morning.
“Uh-huh.” Vera blinked, then started to smile. Seemed like something had been patched up.
Joey dabbed at Daizy’s face with a cloth, then lifted her out of the highchair and passed her to Dawson. “You haven’t held her yet.”
So, with Joey’s instructions, he carefully held Daizy in his arms, still not comprehending the fact that the warm little body, with hair that smelt like baby powder was his and Joey’s daughter. I guess I better get used to it he thought. He didn’t know Joey’s future. He didn’t know his future. He didn’t know their future. But he wanted Daizy in his life. And Daizy’s mother? Well, for some reason, right then, nothing else mattered but standing in the bright kitchen, Joey giggling and patting Daizy’s bottom, her minty breath close to his mouth.
*****
December 1st, Christmas tree day. Vera demanded the guys go out to the back and cut down a tree the old-fashioned way. Chasing away disgruntled squirrels and adorning layers of coats, they managed to get a fairly good tree and drag it into the living room, ready for decorating.
“God, it’s so cold …” Pacey whined, rubbing his one hand on his jacket.
“Warm your ass in front of the fire.” Joey instructed him, balancing Daizy on one hip as she laid out two cups of coffee, then picked up a box of decorations.
“Here.” Dawson said, lifting Daizy off, so Joey could use both her hands.
“Thanks.” She smiled at him.
“Baaaaaa….” Daizy babbled, pointing a sticky finger nowhere in particular. She leaned over his shoulder, kicking her little legs, and he laughed, struggling to keep her in his arms.
Jen whisked out of the kitchen holding a bottle of rum. “This should cheer you up.” She said briskly, splashing the rum into the coffees.
“They need to be steady when they’re pinning up wreaths and chopping wood for the fire.” Joey laughed, starting to attach blue baubles to the tree.
Daizy at that moment chose to start whimpering, then the whimper turned into a wail.
“Ohh I think it’s feeding time.” Joey sighed, placing the box down. She collected Daizy from Dawson and sat down in Vera’ s rocking chair just as she came out of the kitchen with more drinks.
As she breastfed Daizy, she watched Pacey, Jen and Dawson picking out decorations, and arguing over where they’d fit best on the tree.
Slowly but surely she felt a warm feeling envelope her. Christmas’s before were always spent at some party, her parents boozing it up while she and Dawson would play cards, or when they weren’t at the Leery’s, she’d read a book. Now it was 1965, and she and Dawson had a baby girl, friends and family. Although she hadn’t told Dawson or anyone this, she considered him family due to the fact both of them were Daizy’s parents. They were connected…through Daizy.
She smiled to herself when Dawson turned around and looked at her, then quickly looked the other way as Daizy continued to drink energetically. Been through so much, yet still such a boy.
****
Marty dropped in later that night, and gave Joey a questioning look. Smiling reassuringly, she kissed him softly, quickly in the hallway. “Stay for dinner.” She instructed him.
She wanted it to work. She needed a boyfriend. She needed someone to…love, and for that love to be returned not in secret, not in hiding but in the open. They sat next to each other, his hand on her knee, Joey watching Dawson carefully feed Daizy who was extra fidgety that night.
“I see you’re trying your best to become father figure.” Marty laughed.
“Eh…I am her dad. It’s the least I can do.” Dawson chuckled.
“Hmm.” Marty squeezed Joey’s knee harder.
She smiled at him, and he put his arm around her and whispered, “Wanna go for a walk after this?”
“Hmm…I’ll think about it.” Joey said, a bit uncertainly. She didn’t want to leave Daizy.
She looked over at her precious daughter, and caught Dawson’s eye. He quickly looked away, and Joey guessed he had been looking at her and Marty. Interesting, she thought.
Is he jealous Or something?
****
Joey and Marty went for the walk, kissing before exiting out the door. Dawson, while helping to wash up, crashed dishes around, and almost dropped one. Upstairs, while putting Daizy to sleep in her crib by Joey’s bed, Pacey spoke up. “Why is seeing Joey kiss Marty without mistletoe turning you turn into such a grinch?” he quipped.
“I thought you two were over…finished….finito…I mean, word ha sit you treated her pretty….”
“Lay off.” Dawson said darkly.
“Come on, man. You were gone for ages. Marty is mature, daunting and with the usual rebellious look about him. No wonder Joey likes the guy.”
“Look, I don’t care specifically about Joey and I.” Dawson said. “It’s just that Marty looks like a bit of a creep.”
“Uh-huh.” Pacey grinned wickedly.
“And if Jo end sup with this guy---Daizy will go with them. With him.” Dawson snorted. “Marty hasn’t touched Daizy since we got here. He probably never has. Probably hates her.” he stroked a sleeping Daizy’s cheek, as if mystified by the fact someone could hate his daughter.
“If your so concerned, talk to Joey about it.” Pacey said, frustrated.
“All you do nowadays is talk about Daizy’s cute face, or this song, or that movie. You never talk about your future. Or what happened. Or….what you guys feel.”
“No shit, Sherlock. We did a lot of things we shouldn’t have. It’s not as easy as saying, ‘okay, we’re over it’.”
Daizy kicked her leg in her sleep, and Dawson caught her little foot in the palm of his hand.
“What can I say or do? I left her on the beach. I told her to fuck off.”
“Did you love her?” Pacey asked softly.
“I mean, you never fully told me why you had sex with her in the first place. And remember—I still haven’t forgiven you for hurting Jen like that.”
Dawson leant his head back in a symbol of shame. “She’s over it, I think. We talk. We’re over, though. She knows it. I know it.”
“Fucking Joey was the last straw, I gather.” Pacey said sarcastically.
“Uh-huh. And to be honest? I don’t know what I was thinking that night.” He lowered his eyes.
“The only thing I was thinking was that, here was this beautiful girl I used to be in love with, kissing me, obviously feeling something for me, and---“ he stopped and smiled. “It just felt so—right, I guess. Good.”
“You were in love with her?” Pacey exclaimed.
“When we were twelve.” Dawson said incredulously.
“I tried to kiss her once, but she you know, backed away, I took this as a sign she hated me in that way, so I started to go after Jen.”
“Young love.” Pacey said wryly.
“Hmmm…” Dawson was watching his daughter now. “Holy shit.” He said. “She looks just like Joey.”
Pacey leaned over, and laughed. “You’re right! It’s the--”
“Half smile, sleepy eyed look.” Dawson finished off, chuckling.
“Guys, how long have you been in here?” Jen lingered in the doorway, smirking.
“It seems to me, well—like mother like daughter. The guys flock to her.” she raised an eyebrow at Dawson. “But it doesn’t matter, because it’s…over.”
“Were you listening?” he asked quickly.
Jen shrugged. “Hmmm. I might have been.” She winked at Pacey, and held out her arm. “Thanks for sticking up for me, hon.” He latched onto her arm and shook his head as they walked out.
Dawson stared after them, a thoughtful expression on his face.
He looked back down at Daizy, and was about to turn around and leave when Joey appeared in the doorway.
“What are you doing in my room?” she asked lightly, shrugging off her jacket, and going over to the dresser to brush her hair.
“Putting Daizy to sleep.” Dawson said. “I didn’t think you’d mind—“
“I was kidding, it’s okay.” Joey giggled.
“I was in here for way too long, anyway.” He laughed nervously. “I’m afraid Daizy’s turned me into a mother hen.”
“I don’t see a mother hen.” Joey reassured him. “I see a great dad. You’re doing very well, Dawson—“ she rubbed his forearm.
“And I’m—well, I’m glad your back.”
“Me too.” He smiled at her. “Have fun?”
“None of your business.” She turned away from him and kissed Daizy on the cheek.
“Goodnight.”
“Night.” He muttered. He made his way to his own bedroom, regretful they couldn’t just talk like friends. Maybe they never were.
****
Joey was flipping through a Christmas special of Seventeen, when Jen and Terri approached her about Christmas shopping. “You can leave Daizy with her daddy.” Terri pleaded.
“You never go out except with Marty anymore. C’mon—you need a break.”
“Who knows what will happen.” Joey argued. “They’ll probably end up using her as a football.”
“Not true.” Dawson sauntered in and switched on the Television set. Terri smiled at him, and he smiled back.
“Go shopping, Daizy’ll be fine.”
Joey puckered her lip anxiously. “I dunno…”
But after a few more moments, she relented, and soon found herself in a dress shop with Terri and Jen, chatting about the latest fashions and how ugly some of them were.
The doorbell jingled and three girls came in, two were blonde, one a brunette. All three were dressed similarly, pencil skirts, blouses with cardigans and flip-hair. The ultimate country Club rich bitch female. Joey’s breath caught in her throat.
“Well, well, well.” Abby Morgan’s voice was prominent and everyone turned to see who she was talking too.
“Hi Abby.” Joey said meekly, wishing she hadn’t worn her faded purple pants and white peasant top.
“It’s been a long time.”
“Hmm-hmm.” Abby looked at Jen and clearly showed her disapproval. “We’re up here for the weekend. Word has it you fled here, Joey.”
“Hmm.”
“Well, I’m engaged now. To Robert Jenkins….Senior of 62’. Remember? We all had the biggest crush on him. Well…” she giggled and showed them her ring. Joey felt a pang of jealousy.
Abby’s two friends continued to whisper amongst each other. “Joey—baby—unmarried…”
“Dawson’s back.” Joey spoke up, getting sick of Abby’s smug look.
Abby and the two girls looked up in surprise. “What?”
“Pacey lost his arm and Jack’s dead.”
Abby quickly looked away. “Oh.” The two girls had stopped whispering. They were all quiet. This would seem to be the only thing in their lives that they had in common. Losing someone they all loved.
“Have you got a baby now?” one of the blonde girls, Samantha, finally asked.
“No, I have an alien.” Joey smiled sweetly.
“Daizy. 4 months.” Jen filled them in.
“Ohh.” Abby smiled. “So—still not married…?”
“Boyfriend. Not Dawson.” Terri put in, and Joey rolled her eyes.
Abby picked up her eyebrows in interest. “Already? Wow.” She exchanged a look with her sidekicks. One of them indicated to her watch.
“Oh yes. We better go. Have fun.” Abby waved, and then disappeared in a cloud of stingy perfume.
“Bitch.” Terri admonished.
Joey pushed her way out of the store. Jen and Terri followed.
“Joey—“ Jen started.
“Is that it? Am I still a godforsaken whore? Just because I’m dating someone else? You know, I’m not actually consummating anything with him. It’s innocent….and who knows how long it will last…I mean…”
“It doesn’t matter to us.” Jen interrupted. “Abby is a little bitch. She’s never liked you. And in that small town, things like having a child before getting married is taboo. But that does not make you a bad person. You have us. You have friends. You have Marty, Daizy, Vera—and Dawson, who loves you very much, and you’re very lucky.”
Joey managed a small smile. “I know…”
“Verrryyy lucky.” Terri added. “Dawson is gorgeous! Tall, nice eyes, nice smile…I can’t believe you got to…well, when I first heard of him I imagined some wimpy school boy.” Terri licked her lips, and joining arms they walked towards the ice cream parlor.
“He is no little boy.”
“That’s for sure.” Joey replied quietly, and Jen caught her eye.
“Oooh.” Terri cooed, and Joey blushed. “Guys…”
“What was he like? What was it like? C’mon…”
“No!” Joey laughed. “It’s in the past, and not a very appropriate subject. I’m a mom, now.”
“Thanks to the inappropriate subject.” Jen giggled, and Terri joined in.
“And….will you, in the future, ‘consummate’ your relationship with Marty?” Jen asked cheekily.
“I don’t want to get pregnant again!” Joey exclaimed.
“Go on the pill.” Terri advised her. “Get a prescription from the doctor.”
****
“So, she was a virgin, right?”
“Uh-huh. Really tight. Hey, throw this out.” He handed Pacey Daizy’s used diaper.
“Ecck! And I thought ticking time bombs were terrifying! So—I can’t believe you didn’t ask her if she was on—you know, the pill or something. Mrs. David would be angry.” Pacey scolded Dawson mockingly, talking of their biology teacher in Senior Year.
“Believe me, that was the last thing on my mind.” Dawson patted Daizy on the stomach, than reached for the yellow jumpsuit that seemed to be Daizy’s only favorite outfit. She grinned at him, and flailed her arms about. “Why are we talking about this again?” Dawson asked slyly, raising an eyebrow.
Pacey sighed sadly. “Probably because neither of us are getting any action. She was the last piece of ass for you….right?”
“Um.” Dawson laughed. “Uh-huh…” he tried to avoid Pacey’s eyes.
Pacey shook his head. “You think I didn’t know?
“About Melissa?” Dawson added on, biting his lip, and chuckling.
“You were hot for her.”
“We had just met. We were drunk.”
“I found a bunch of letters from her in your bag, too.”
Dawson grit his teeth. “Pacey…”
“Have you written back?”
“No.”
“Why not?” Pacey exclaimed.
Melissa Harrison. They had met her at a party in New York of all places. She and Dawson had flirted outrageously, before consuming the affair in the cloakroom. No one found out, except for Pacey, now.
“Because I can’t have her in my life now.” Dawson finally replied, picking up his daughter and kissing her soft head.
“You have to pick up some sort of life to begin with.” Pacey reminded him.
“I thought she was a great girl. You should contact her. You never know—you could end up having a great life. Forget about Joey. There’s no future with her…she made it very clear.”
Dawson knew that Pacey was right. “Look—I’ll talk to her soon about how long we’re staying.” He said.
****
“So, done any shopping yet?” Joey asked Dawson lightly the next evening. He was washing up the dishes after dinner, and she lounged casually on the bench.
“Umm….well…” he hesitated, and wiped off a dish before continuing, “I don’t really know what to get people, and…where, and I don’t have much money.”
Joey touched her bracelet in thought, and he noticed she was wearing it.
“Oh…you’re wearing it.”
“I like it.” She answered defensively.
“Look, wanna go shopping with me tomorrow? I’ll help you figure it out.” She offered.
He looked relieved. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Ok.”
She hopped off the bench and patted his shoulder. “You missed a spot.” He swatted her butt with the dishcloth as she hurried out, giggling.
****
Joey giggled relentlessly as she told him that taking him shopping was another good excuse to buy more things with the money she had earned from her father last year, but hadn’t been spent until now. She had over $500.He didn’t have much left--$100 altogether, but he managed to get a few things and have $80 in change. “I gotta get a job.” He informed Joey.
“I was going to go to College on a football scholarship, but---who would want me now? I’m a failure.” He looked so sad, so ashamed as he stared into his orange Julius that Joey slid forward and put her arm around him.
“Don’t you dare say that,” She ordered. “What you did---was amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you any different, okay? You had no idea it would be as bad as it was.”
”I should have listened to you.” He sighed. “I should have stayed with you, and helped you. I could have beaten your dad up for being such a grade-A bastard.”
Joey giggled and hugged him tighter. “I’m supposed to protect you…” Dawson chuckled. “But I couldn’t even ‘ serve and protect’ my country.”
“No one can protect America from holy death and corruption.” Joey said dramatically.
“Look at me! I’m not even twenty….and I’ve had a kid. And I’m not married, either. I’m a mess.”
“No you’re not, you’re beautiful.”
“I didn’t mean just looks wise,” Joey laughed.
“The fact that I’m unmarried and yet I have a kid—gasp! It’s socially unacceptable.”
“I’ll marry you, if you want.” Dawson said casually, grinning.
Joey hummed, “I’ll think about it.”
On the way back to Vera’s car after a long day of shopping, Joey reached up and touched the scar on Dawson’s cheek, taking him by surprise.
“How did you get this?” she asked softly, her mouth inches away from his.
“Knife.” He replied.
“A couple of us were really drunk one night, and….someone was swinging around a pocket knife…” he laughed, and Joey smiled wryly, her fingers not leaving his cheek as she looked into his eyes.
****
While Vera, Jen, Marge, Terri and Joey were cooking up a storm in the kitchen on December 24th midday, Pacey and Dawson stole out the door, convinced all five women had some kind of….mental problem. Daizy started to get fussy because she wanted her daddy, and Joey was fussy because Daizy was crying and her period was due in the next five days.
But, Christmas eve was a charming affair…the food was delicious-- vegetarian, everyone in the neighborhood came over, and by 9:00 everyone was drunkenly singing Christmas carols.
It took both Dawson and Joey to put a sleepy but wailing five- month-old Daizy to bed. At ten thirty, people started to go home, tired and also bullied by Vera who demanded everyone have a good nights sleep before waking up to open presents.
Joey lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, trying lull herself to sleep by listening to Daizy’s light breathing. But she couldn’t. She had had too much wine, and she was still a bit…tipsy.
While she was making some hot cocoa in the kitchen, Dawson walked in, rubbing his eyes. “Can’t sleep?” Joey asked sympathetically.
He nodded. “Want some?” she lifted her cup. “Yeah, thanks.” He replied, tickling her waist and lumbering over to the fridge to see if he could find any leftovers worth eating.
“What is with all this vegetarian crap?” he sighed.
“Come on.” Joey handed him his cup, and took his hand, leading him out of the kitchen.
They sat in front of the Christmas tree and fireplace, talking idly about the guests, then past Christmas’s. “I always used to spend it at your house….we’d compare our presents, remember?” Joey laughed. “But only because our dad’s were intent on finding out who had the better ones.”
“We each had it in turns of winning.” Dawson added.
“One time, you had that $200 doll, and all I got was a lousy football.”
“Ahh yes, but the football started your ‘career.’ The doll just set the feminism standard back several decades.” Joey laughed. “I don’t remember caring that much the time you got the record player. I think it was because I was a twelve year old in love.” She laughed, then looked a bit sad. “I always wished you felt the same way…” Dawson flickered an eyebrow.
“I was in love with you when I was twelve too, Joey. So it wasn’t unrequited, you know. I felt the exact same way…”
Joey nodded, smirking. “Sure….”
“I’m serious.”
Joey drained her cup, and stood up to get some more. “I’ll make some more too.” He offered. Laughing, they stopped under the kitchen door which several cloves of mistletoe hanging from the frame.
“Oooh…” Joey teased him, seeing his eyes brighten when he realized they were both under the love leaves. “Should we?” Dawson said, grinning.
“It is tradition.” She smiled, looking into his eyes.
Dawson shrugged, “Who the hell makes up this shit anyway? It’s a sprig and a leaf! What’s so important?”
“Hurry up, I’m getting a little frosty here.” Joey kidded. Dawson leaned down and cupped her face in his hands, and kissed her. The kiss was long, languorous, and tender. It had been a long time since they had kissed like that.
Joey realized, her heart hammering in her chest as she pulled away, that she wanted more. She was afraid that this one kiss is not enough. Not enough forever.
Taking his hand, she led him upstairs to his bedroom, and locked the door behind them. Falling onto his bed, their feelings of desperation overcame them yet again. The searing, frantic kisses turned into sliding and unsnapping offending clothes from each other, and then touching and caressing turned into making love. Joey smoothed her hand over his warm back, then up his arms as he breathed raggedly into her neck.
She whispered, “Hurry…” she was nearly there, but she wasn’t sure if she could come before he could, and if he did before she could…he took his cue and slammed into her faster and harder, although telling himself to slow down, he couldn’t…he was losing all control. Was he hurting her? She arched her back and lifted herself up off the bed, pressing herself even closer. Her moans were becoming more hurried, frenzied, wilder. It was turning him on more then anything. More then fantasies of Joey on the beach, more then Jen and Melissa put together.
Both parties were trying not to moan too loudly in fright of waking up someone in the house, and Joey bit down onto his shoulder hard in trying not to scream. “Ohh…shit…” Dawson gasped, half from his climax, the other half from the pain of Joey biting him.
Afterwards, Joey started to cry. “Did I hurt you?” he whispered in alarm. She shook her head and continued to weep into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her as close to himself as possible. They soon fell asleep, wrapped around each other, sticky and sated.
****
Christmas morning was more awkward then they could’ve imagined. Every hand brush, every caught eye ended in flinching, blushing and memories from only several short hours ago.
Finally, Joey couldn’t stand it. She stood up whilst they were in the middle of Dawson opening a present from Jen, and announced she had to get a drink. “Jo, don’t you want to stick around and open Dawson’s present?” Vera asked in surprise.
“Believe me, I already have.” Joey muttered under her breath.
Later on, during Christmas Lunch, Dawson had intended to politely offer Joey the water jug while every body chatted amongst themselves.
“Wanna fuck?” Joey’s jaw dropped.
“I mean…do you wanna drink?” he quickly said, blushing and mentally kicking his own ass.
Marty watched from next to Joey, his expression suspicious. Dawson looked up once and caught Marty death-glaring him. He death-glared back and for a millisecond contemplated saying to Joey, “So—I think you left a scar on my shoulder…those darn choppers of yours…”
But he held back, and only whispered, “Jo, we need to talk, okay?”
She replied quietly. “No we don’t. I’m sorry, okay? Can we just forget it?”
“Fine.” Dawson turned away from her.
TO BE CONTINUED
Part six, ”Heroes live forever.”
By Anne Gooding
AN: The last part!! Hope you enjoy ;-)
_______________________________________________________________________________
It was December 31st, and Dawson had his duffel bag on his bed, zipped up and bulking with clothes and odds and ends. Pacey marched in, and handed him an envelope. “Bus tickets to Capeside…I suggest you ring your dad.”
“I did.” Dawson replied, smiling a little.
“He actually suggested we stay there for a few weeks—but he’s got this crazy idea that I can still go to College on a football scholarship.”
“I don’t see why not.” Pacey said lightly.
“You didn’t lose an arm. You don’t have any permanent damages…you’re in pretty good shape.”
“It’s not as easy as that.” Dawson sighed. “I can’t just—go to school…not now.”
“Do you want to?”
“I don’t know.” Dawson raked a hand through his hair in despair. “I don’t know anything anymore.”
“Look, buddy, you’ll be seeing Daizy every two weeks.” Pacey reassured him, patting his arm.
“Guys—what are you two still doing up here?” Jen peeked her head around the door, and laughed heartily. “There’s a big bash going on next door, you gotta come…since you’re leaving tomorrow, this can be your goodbye party.”
She went into the room and pulled the two boys into a hug. “This was so much fun—I am so glad we got to spend this time together.”
“Me too.” Pacey grinned.
Jen sighed. “Okay, you two might as well be the first to know two bits of interesting news.”
“Speak.” Pacey commanded.
“Number one—in a month I’ll be heading off to London.” Jen grinned excitedly, and clasped her hands together. “I hear it’s the best most fashionable place…and I have a few friends who are going with me—Harry and Tanya, you met them at that party a few months ago.”
“London? Jesus…why not New York? It’s closer.” Dawson laughed.
“Exactly.” Jen said dryly. “We’ll be going by boat…it’s going to be fantastic.”
“And news number two?” Pacey pressed her.
Jen stopped smiling so brightly, and looked at Dawson nervously. “Well---Marty and Joey are engaged.”
****
The party was in full swing, people milled around sharing joints, slamming down beers and martini’s, sharing stories and wishing every a happy new year. Quite a few women were interested in Pacey and Dawson’s stories of war, and so neither of them was left alone the entire night.
Dawson was at the bat pouring himself another drink when the countdown started. He looked up at all the people chanting, “Ten…nine….eight…” and suddenly felt a bit overwhelmed. What was he doing here? What was his life? What had happened? What happened to his dream? It was soon going to be 1966, and his life had changed so much in two years. Jack was dead and so were a lot of his friends. He had a daughter and his ex- girlfriend was partying her way to London.
“One…HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
“Dawson?” a girl whispered his name. He found himself staring into the watery green eyes of Joey Potter, a girl he lusted after, a girl he loved, and mystified about.
“I hope you’re happy,” he murmured, taking her hand and kissing it, just like he did on that cold evening, long ago… she still had the bracelet on.
“Thank you.” She smiled through her tears.
“You’re leaving tomorrow?”
“May all things be…” they were all singing now, everyone except for Dawson and Joey who continued to talk quietly between themselves.
“Yes.”
“Remember to come up in two weeks.”
“I will.”
“That night…” Joey blushed slightly. “I don’t know how that happened.”
“Forget it.” Dawson said hastily.
“I better go check on Daizy.” Joey slipped her hand out of his and gave him one last smile before retreating out of the house.
****
Dawson said goodbye to Joey and Daizy up in his room. He kissed them both, and promised he’d be back every so often. “Be nice to Marty.” He told Daizy, and she seemed to giggle in reply.
“See ya Jo.” He brushed her cheek with a tender kiss and she smiled into his neck.
“What are your plans?” Joey asked.
Dawson picked up his bag and shrugged. “I have no idea. Job…dad wants me to play football.”
“Play football.”
“I haven’t for a long time.”
“You love it…do what you love.”
“I always do.” He winked, and made his way out of the room.
“Rude.” Joey laughed.
“When’s the wedding?”
“Three months.” Joey played with her hair.
“Will you come?”
“You really love him, don’t you?”
Joey looked a bit taken aback, and hesitated before answering, “Of course I do.”
That night, he dreamed of her in his familiar bed. He dreamed about her searing kisses….her soft breasts with the rosy-tips, the little mole she had on her inner thigh….her silky hair, green eyes bright with love… he woke up sweating and with a hard on.
He and Pacey worked for Mr. Leery in the construction office. Once or twice he told Mrs. Potter about Joey. She cried every time, and he felt uncomfortable. Why didn’t Joey contact them?
“Have you tried contacting her?” he asked gently.
“I’m too ashamed.” Lillian wiped her eyes. “And I can’t believe she’s getting married to a hippie. We all always thought she’d marry you…that was our dream.”
Dawson chuckled. “Didn’t seem like it.”
He started to play football with some of his old friends who were now working in offices, or going to a community college. He saw Jen frequently, and saw her off to New York so she could ‘catch’ the cruiser to London.
“Swinging city here I come!” she shrieked, and he shook his head, bemused.
“It’s not too late.” Mr. Leery told his son over and over. “College is still an option.”
He saw Joey and Daizy once, but was too busy to see them again before the wedding. Slowly but surely, and despite his reluctance to accept it, his heart was breaking when he thought of Joey in another man’s arms.
“Yes, I’ll go, I’ll go.” he broke down.
“You won’t regret this.” Mr. Leery patted his son’s arm.
He sent a letter to Joey. “College….I regret the fact I won’t be able to see you or Daizy as frequently as I would have liked….Love always, D.”
March 3rd dawned cold and wet. The wedding. Dawson lay on his bed, his eyes to the ceiling, his luggage spread about the floor.
His parents were out for the day. He heard the front door slam. Back so soon? Jeez. He was looking forward to day without his parents.
His bedroom door swung open. “Dawson.”
Dawson sat up, gaping in shock. Joey flung herself towards him, crying into his neck.
“I love you…I love you…” she whispered over and over, covering his face in kisses. He calmed her down.
“Joey! What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be getting married!”
“I couldn’t do it.” She said, staring into his blue eyes.
“I love you too much.”
“So you’ve told me a few times.” He grinned wryly, and wrapped his arms around her waist.
They kissed again, passionately.
“I told Marty this morning.” She managed to get out between kisses. “Then I caught the first bus here.”
“But why?” he whispered.
“I woke up today and realized I was fooling myself.” She admitted.
“And now that I’ve told you that, and that I…love you… I’ll go…unless you want me to stay.”
“Stay.” He whispered.
They made love slowly, hands exploring every inch of one another….he circled her birthmark on her thigh with his tongue…moved his hands over her breasts gently before cupping them.
“Will you marry me?” he whispered hoarsely when he was deep inside her, driving in and out and making her mad with pleasure. “Oh yes….yes…” she moaned, digging her nails into his back.
Later on, while he was stroking her bare back softly, he said, “You meant it, right?”
“Hmm-hmm.” She murmured sleepily. “I did. I want to be with you.”
****
The wedding was small and simple, but very romantic, by the creek at sunset. The Leery’s were there, and so were the Potters. Mr. Potter stared at his beautiful daughter, who was gazing at her fiancée, and Mrs. Potter squeezed his hand, teary-eyed.
They had had some sort of a reconciliation, although Joey was not entirely warm towards her parents. Andie sat at the back, awkward and shy, still such a girl, although content at the fact Joey had accepted her apologies. Vera, Terri, Marge all watched, grinning from ear to ear. Daizy sat on Vera’s lap, now a noisy one year old, she needed restraining at almost all times. Friends made in Connecticut, old friends from school—about 80 were there altogether. Everyone watched with peaceful expressions. Everyone remembering what it was like to be so young and be in love, and everyone remembering with great sadness the ones they had lost.
No one was really sure if Dawson and Joey would live happily ever after—not even they were sure. Would love be enough? They spent their honeymoon by the beach, and returned three days later, content as husband and wife.
Later on, a few nights later, Dawson spooned Joey, as she held her daughter in her arms, and he wrapped his arms around his small family and drifted into a blissful sleep. Joey woke up a few small hours later and pulled Daizy closer. She smiled, tears shining in her eyes.
Everything had worked out, after all.
Pacey followed Jen to London. They were last seen partying in Paris. After her brother Jack died, Andie had a break down. She now spends her time in therapy, and looking after her lazy-assed husband. Dawson and Joey moved to New York with Daizy, and Joey gave birth to twin boys four years later. They called them Jack and Chris. After selling a screenplay (About the tragedies of the Vietnam War…and a love story) to a hotshot movie producer, Dawson got a name for himself as well as a lot of money. They went to Woodstock to celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary, bought a nice apartment in Soho and lived a pretty darn good life.
THE END.
I have nothing to give
I have so much
to lose here in this lonely place
Tangled up in your embrace
there's nothing I'd like better than
to fall.
