Summary: When situations go beyond your control, you land in places you never thought you’d be… set some time after season five. Joey and Dawson didn't kiss at the airport.
I don't want to call my friends
they might wake me from this dream
and I can't leave this bed
risk forgetting all that's been
God, it was hot. He felt like he was bathing in a warm bath. Capeside seemed to be caught in a great big drum of heat, the blue sky stretching endlessly past the sun, thunder rumbling in the distance promising rain, but then breaking its promise when another day passed without a single drop. Sometimes he really hated the summer.
As soon as he got out of bed he dropped to the floor and did thirty-five push-ups. It was a dumb ritual he practiced to jolt him awake before morning classes. Push-ups, a cold shower, and if his girlfriend was in the mood, hot morning sex. Now that it was the summer and he was back home, he didn’t have to do classes, which meant he didn’t have to try and wake up. But he was still stuck in habit.
After a quick shower, he padded down the stairs in only his jeans and raided the fridge. He had the house to himself that Saturday, because his dad was working and his mother and sister were at the Restaurant, preparing for July Fourth celebrations at the restaurant that evening. He normally didn’t really like lazing around the house doing nothing when he could go out and see friends, but he reasoned with himself. You need a good slob around the house now and then!
After finishing off last nights’ dinner he sat down in front of the TV and flipped through the channels before deciding on an episode of The Simpsons. It was the one where Homer and Marge recount how they met, fell in love and got married. It was all so simple, really. Homer liked Marge, she thought he was a slob, but then hung out with him, decided she liked him until she found out he was only pretending he needed her for French tutoring, so she goes to the Prom which an intelligent snob, but regrets it and runs into heartbroken Homer’s arms.
Hmm. Sounded kind of familiar… Dawson couldn’t help but crack a smile.
But still, poor Homer. High school could be such a drag. Had kind of been for him, anyway. Well, sort of. College though, definitely beat out. He was twenty and he felt he had finally grown into his own skin. All the insecurity of high school seemed almost like a bad dream…almost.
He enjoyed all of his classes— he majored in Journalism, and also did Film Class on the side. It was a lot of work, but he liked the challenge. Studying sucked, but he made sure he did enough of it to get reasonably good grades. He wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted to do when he left college. At the moment he was just experimenting with things, trying everything out. But he knew he wouldn’t mind getting into something behind the TV, or with journalism.
He spent his free days having philosophical or just plain stupid conversations with friends, and going to the numerous campus parties, where (He didn’t like to think about it too much, but he put it all down to the college experience) a few times in the last year he got so drunk he woke up in bed with a girl he only vaguely remembered talking too.
Now that he had a girlfriend, Megan, he spent most nights hanging out in her dorm room, making out (And doing other stuff…) and listening to her favourite CD’s. (Tracey Chapman and Counting Crows.) Jesus, it had been almost a month since he had been laid…why was he thinking about that? Who cared? He had managed almost seventeen years, so a month was nothing!
Okay, he was finally getting bored. He flicked the TV switch off and went up to his room to get a shirt. His mother had dropped a few hints the night before she’d appreciate some help from him to get the restaurant ready for the July Fourth celebrations. Maybe he’d move his ass and do a good deed.
*****
He turned up in a blue shirt and a smile on his face and his mother immediately barked orders.
“Good, you’re here. Now, you go and help bring in the band equipment, and then unstack the chairs. ” He slowly turned and headed in the direction of the band equipment stacked by the door.
“Hey.” A distinctly familiar voice filtered out behind him, and he whirled around. He was surprised when he saw who had greeted him. “Oh…hey.”
Pacey and Dawson eyed each other kind of wearily for a few seconds, before Dawson spoke. “Your looking good…how’s life?” the typical, we-were-once-best-friends, awkward-conversation-saver. Well, that was one way of putting it. They were, now, ‘kinda’ friends, but they just hadn’t seen each other for ages.
“Yeah…good. Sailing a lot.” He was tanned, it certainly looked as though he was outdoors a lot.
“Cool.”
“Yeah. You’re looking good too…what are you doing? Running or something?”
“Yeah. Well, sort of. Mostly just…lazing around.”
“Ohhh, okay. What we did--do best.”
Dawson chuckled. “Yep.”
“Uh…how’s school?”
“Good. Yeah. I like it.”
“Got a girlfriend?” Pacey smiled teasingly.
Dawson laughed. “Yesss…”
“Do tell.”
Gail watched, along with a slack-jawed Bessie as the two boys wandered out of the restaurant and onto the jetty, talking animatedly.
****
It was 4 when Gail handed Dawson and Pacey a beer and thanked him for eventually getting back to task. “Don’t tell anyone I gave you these.” She added, looking around suspiciously, but grinning all the same. The boys thanked her.
“Joey will be around soon to help.” She then added tactfully.
“Around five.” Pacey told them. “I talked to her this morning on the phone.”
“Hmm.” Dawson nodded. “Cool.” He was quiet for a minute, and then spoke his mind.
Dawson had been curious who she had been dating at college…now his questions were answered. But he couldn’t wait to find out how she was…what she looked like, etc.
“She’ll be here at about 5. I’m going to definitely make sure you two have a good talk.” Gail continued.
Pacey laughed into his beer.
“We’re not ten, mom.” Dawson said blandly.
“Sometimes you act like it.” She flickered an eyebrow and sashayed away.
Pacey looked confused. “Why did your mom say she was going to make sure you spoke…?”
“Um, well, we…Joey and I…uh…had a fight, the last time I saw her.” Dawson said guiltily.
Pacey rolled his eyes. “Jesus, you two suck. What was it about? She never told me this.”
Dawson scratched his neck; somewhat perturbed. “It was really stupid. I mean—I can’t believe I’m saying this—but things were tense the moment we laid eyes on each other. It was over Christmas break, and we snapped at each other, for reasons I don’t even know, and then finally we had it out on Christmas morning. Nice and cheery day for a fight.”
“That’s for sure. But why were things ‘tense’? Shouldn’t you be over that by now?”
“I actually don’t know.” Dawson sighed and shrugged. “I can’t remember that well.” He laughed all of a sudden. “She slapped me.”
“She…slapped you?” Pacey was shocked. He never thought she’d lay a hand on Dawson. His view of their relationship was a ‘soft’ one. They were best friends and nothing more, nothing less. Not enemies or passionate lovers. But then, he didn’t know about that side of their old relationship and he had no desire too.
“Yeah. Square across the jaw. One day, when I’m not embarrassed about it, I might tell you what I said.”
Pacey was instantly intrigued. “What did you say? Something along the lines of, ‘come up to my room and I’ll give you a good spanking?”
“No!”
“You better not have!
“I didn’t say anything to that affect.”
Pacey stood up “Alright. Well, I’m gonna head off. But I’ll be back soon.”
”Okay. See ya.”
“Yeah.” He started to walk off, then stopped and turned back. “Uh…good to see you again.” He said gruffly.
“It is. I mean, good to see you, uh, too.” Dawson replied, letting a flicker of a smile show on his face. He watched him leave, and then turned back to his beer. He felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
****
She walked in the door at 6, an hour later then expected. Dawson was trying but failing at entertaining his three –year- old sister Emily, who was shrieking like a maniac, and had turned towards the doorway whilst in search for his mother, when he saw Joey walk in like a fresh breath of air.
His jaw dropped open and a smile spread across his face as he looked on in anticipation. She was stunning. She was twenty, and fucking fantastic. Maybe it was seeing her again that made her look so beautiful…or maybe college agreed with her.
She looked this way and that, searching for a familiar face in the crowd. Dawson turned away before she could spot him. He took a deep breath and Emily looked up at him, suddenly quiet, with questioning eyes. “We’re gonna go find mom.” He said brightly, leading her by the hand, steadfastly avoiding the tall brunette with the long, waist length hair (She had never had it that long before) green tank top and black pants. He wasn’t ready…not yet. After depositing his sister with his mother, he wiped clammy hands on jeans and studied the room, looking for her.
He finally spotted her over in the corner, talking to her boyfriend, Pacey. She was smiling, and her whole face was lit up like Christmas Lights on a tree. She gestured with her hands, laughing excitedly and glancing around the room, obviously happy to be there, to be home. Pacey spotted Dawson over her shoulder and beckoned with one hand. Joey turned around to see whom Pacey was signalling to, and her smile was wiped off her face for a moment, before being replaced with a tentative, almost sly grin.
Dawson pushed past several thousand people before approaching them and seeing her up close, smelling her perfume and looking into her eyes with a great deal of happiness and relief. It had been a long time…before he could put himself together to say a hello or start a conversation; she had gathered him up into a warm, quick hug.
“Hey you.” She greeted him warmly, and she slid one hand down the back pocket of his jeans. If Dawson was surprised, he didn’t show it. He was too cheerful too assess the situation in full.
“How are you?”
“Good.” He replied, and then he hit himself mentally for such a boring mundane answer.
“Isn’t this fun? All together again.” Pacey said sarcastically, raising his beer, his other arm around Joey’s waist possessively.
“So, have you two made up?” he continued, switching glances between the two of them.
“Made up? For what?” Joey raised an eyebrow.
“Never mind.” Pacey shrugged.
“How’s life?” Dawson asked. “I feel kind of bad—we haven’t spoken since Christmas.”
“Life is pretty good.” Joey said brightly.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Isn’t this stimulating conversation,” Pacey said bitingly. Dawson rolled his eyes. Okay, go ahead and make things worse, why don’t you…
Joey just laughed, and then announced she was thirsty. She tugged on Pacey’s sleeve. “Come with me.”
“Yeah, okay, I’ll just stand here by myself.” Dawson said in a hurt tone, but smiling none the less. Joey pouted and sighed, “Awww…” she then rolled her eyes. “You too.”
“Whiner.” Pacey laughed. The three of them walked towards the bar.
****
Pacey and Joey were dancing slowly and closely by ten o’clock, kissing sweetly, along with a heap of other couples. Dawson watched on the sidelines, a dazed expression on his face. He yawned a little. It had been a long night-- a long night of talking and jabbering back and forth, about college, boring old Capeside, old friends, (Jen was having a ball in London, Jack was in San Francisco) and new friends and general babbling.
Dawson yawned again, bored. The fireworks display didn’t start until midnight, and he wanted to see it, but he was still tempted to nod off for the night. It was getting hot in the large room, which was crammed with people, and that was probably most to blame for his yawns. Maybe he’d go outside. Watching Pacey and Joey dancing all night wasn’t his idea of a good time. He wished Megan were there. He stood up and started to make his way out, when his mother stopped him.
“I think someone wants to dance with you.”
“What?” his gaze averted to where Joey stood several feet away, alone, and smiling at him welcomely.
“Where’s Pacey?” Dawson asked, bewildered as Joey pulled him onto the dance floor.
“I needed to talk to you. I promised him a…um… dance later.” They stood awkwardly in the middle of the floor, not touching for a moment. Joey then rested her arm on his shoulder and they moved into the basic dance position, his hand on her waist, their hands clasped. The band were doing a jazzy and slow rendition of Tracey Chapman’s, Give me one reason.
“I didn’t want to say this in front of Pacey, but—sorry about Christmas.” Joey said softly.
“I was, as usual, being a jealous little bitch.”
“Don’t worry about it. It was my fault, anyway.”
“Okay, yeah I guess it was.”
They both laughed, and the laughter seemed to break the ice.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Joey said, looking into his eyes. “I really am.”
“Yeah, me too. About you, I mean.”
Joey just rolled her eyes and they continued to dance and silence, their bodies doing most of the talking as they held each other close out of friendship and comfort.
****
“I’m going to miss you so much.” Joey mumbled, clinging onto Pacey.
“Ditto.” He replied, squeezing her. She let go of him and kissed him. She sent him a meaningful glance. “Call me,” She ordered him, before turning to the other male who was at her house to see her off. “Goodbye Dawson.” She hugged him hard, and then took a step back. They communicated with their eyes for a quick second, and then she picked up her small duffel bag. “See you next summer…maybe.”
Maybe. It was the definitive word. They were growing into adults, getting on with their lives. Who knew when they’d see each other after graduation from college? Who knew anything anymore? But then, it was obvious who out of the three would see each other again, would talk, would kiss, who might even plan a future.
Pacey was thinking about how he couldn’t wait to get back to his boat. But he wasn’t Joey to join him again. He might call her in a few months and see what she thinks. Dawson’s got his own life, his own gorgeous girlfriend (He had seen a photo) at Northwestern in Chicago. He’s happy for the guy. And then, he didn’t want to admit it straight out to anyone, but Joey was a handful. She needed passionate, strong guidance from a real man. Someone Dawson never was, and, Pacey was almost certain, would never be. Wait a minute….why was he even thinking that?
Joey was walking away now, walking towards the car where Bessie sat in the front seat. She waved and blew kisses before getting into the car—not before bumping her head on the roof, to which the guys both cracked up—and then she was gone…back to Columbia, her long hair flying in the wind, her teasing grin to be watched by hundreds of other guys, guys who could never know the sacred relationship she shared with the two boys from her youth…
****
A year later, Dawson was transferred to Columbia. His parents and Professor McKenzie were the main pressures in the issue. It was closer, and it had a better film and journalism program.
Dawson was reluctant, but knew that it was the better school. He didn’t want to leave Megan and he didn’t want Miss Potter to think he was stalking her, either! But by the third week there, he had made a troupe of new friends and loved his classes. Joey wasn’t the important concern in the matter.
Long distance calls to Megan were hell to pay, even though she most often called at night, and wanted him to do the same. “I miss you, you know…but as long as you’re doing well over there, it doesn’t matter.” Megan told him earnestly.
“Yeah…” he murmured, his eyes out of his dorm window and on a trio of giggling girls returning to wherever they lived after an all night party.
He felt bad. He felt really bad, and guilty, and all of those things---and his heart kept telling him to get it off his chest and to just tell her. But he couldn’t—not yet. He was too much of a coward…wasn’t he? He turned over in his bed, the cordless still attached to his ear. “Umm…Megan?”
“Yes?” her voice changed from relaxed to highly-strung in one simple second. Dawson’s heart hammered hard in his chest at the cruelty of it all.
He took a deep breath before meaning to reply when a sleepy voice next to him in bed said, “Dawson, who are you talking too at this hour?”
Whoops.
“WHO is that?” Megan demanded in a shocked tone.
Anna stuffed a bit of sheet in her mouth to stop her laughter. Dawson sent her a murderous look. She had done that on purpose!
“I’m sorry…” he started to say, but she hung up on him. “Serves me right.” Dawson sighed, closing his eyes and sliding down the bed. “I’m a cheating, lying bastard. I never thought I’d be in this situation.”
“Oh get over it.” Anna smiled, kissing him sensually on the mouth. “She will, eventually. I mean, this is all an adequate part of life. You get cheated on at least once. But still—it’s not a nice thing to do.”
“Hmm…” he wasn’t listening anymore, he was reaching under the blanket. Oh yeah, he thought afterwards. I love this place.
****
Joey strolled around the campus with the confidence and air of a pretty twenty-one year- old looking incredible in just her signature college outfit—tight button fly dark denim jeans, white peasant top and a leather jacket.
She had just had her hair cut by one of her friends, Amanda, whose own mother was a hairdresser. Amanda could cut and style hair very well for an English Major student, Joey thought, tousling her locks as she passed a window. Her hair was now shoulder length and wavy, with chestnut highlights, and her eyes now looked greener then ever. Popping on a pair of tortoiseshell sunglasses, Joey contemplated her plans for Saturday.
Study in the afternoon at the library, but before that, she had a ‘date’ for breakfast with her friends, and then she had to work at the bookstore, and then that evening… Joey sighed. God, if only her boyfriend lived in the same State as she did. Sure, there were plenty of parties on that night—in particular the pledge party for Gamma Gamma Fraternity House, but she didn’t feel like being chatted up by hundreds of guys, or getting appallingly drunk, so drunk, she had to be taken home by Dawsonagain…
She shuddered at the memory of her being drunk. What was it about Dawson that he felt he had to look after her? Any one of her friends could have. Well, they could have if they weren’t all off their face too. Dawson drank, but not as much as she did. In fact, she was certain the girls on campus drank more then the guys sometimes. Sometimes. Ugh. What a disgrace!
Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t notice a few men looking at her appreciatively. One guy in particular was looking at her--but he wasn’t looking at her in an admiring way, but with an amused expression on his face. Dawson—he was always so flippant!
“You.” She greeted him in their usual way.
“You.” He replied, grinning crookedly at her.
“You look different.” He added thoughtfully, cocking his head to one side.
Joey took off her glasses so she could talk to him properly. “Guess…”
“Umm…” he stalled, and then picked up a strand of her hair.
“Your hair. It’s shorter…and…” he tried to search for the correct word.
“Bouncier…shinier…wavier…yeah, I know.” Joey laughed. “You look different too.” He did, if it was possible, he had changed. His air of insecurity had vanished into a new confidence, confidence of a man…he suddenly didn’t seem like the Dawson Leery she knew back in Capeside. Now he was…well, different. Taller. Not a virgin. Studying journalism for gods sake. Friendly, funny, sweet…he had been asked to pledge, even, but he had rejected the offer. “I have better things to do then eat live goldfish.” He had said, and Joey had chuckled, agreeing.
“I probably have a shadow cast over me,” He said, rolling his eyes resentfully.
“What have you done?” they started to walk together, casually, like the friends they were.
He told her about the night before and her jaw dropped open.
“Ooh…that’s…not very nice.” She gasped, punching his arm in disbelief.
“Poor girl…and this isn’t like you, you know!”
“Well…” he shrugged guiltily, but couldn’t stop grinning. “Anna is a special girl…”
“Do I detect a blush?” Joey flickered an eyebrow.
“I think I’m too far gone to be blushing.”
”Me too. You bad boy.”
Anna. Interesting choice for Dawson—Anna Roberts, who had beautiful strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes and a throaty voice. She was a native New Yorker and was doing Liberal Arts. Joey knew her from some of her classes—she seemed fairly smart and cheerful. She knew, for a fact from a guy friend, that Anna loved sex. So that was definitely something in common with Dawson, then. Joey felt funny thinking about Dawson and sex and all of that. She wasn’t sure why, but she was curious what he did…when he…how he learnt…stop it! she kicked herself mentally and cracked a small, incredulous smile.
“Sooo…spring break is on the horizon, anything special organized?” he asked her.
“Sort of. Pacey’s coming up for a week visit—the four of us—Anna—we’ll have to go out. It’ll be fun. And it’ll be great to see him again, I can tell you that. But I think Pacey’s insecure about you and me being at the same school.”
“He has nothing to worry about…about me, anyway.” He tickled her waist. “You’re beautiful, there are so many guys here who would kill to get into your…I mean, date you.”
“That’s rude.” Joey blushed, tickling him back.
“But, seriously, would you…ever…you know, even consider trying to hit on me?” she regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth, so she put on a sly smile and hoped he thought she was half-kidding. But Dawson looked non-plussed.
“Of course.” He smiled. “Maybe. If Anna hadn’t been born.”
“Oh.” Joey forced a smile. “Great.” Her mood faltered. Even if it was completely pointless and ridiculous, she didn’t like knowing that she didn’t come number one in her best guy friends’ eyes anymore.
****
Breakfast was a fun affair at a hip café not far from campus, and Joey got to see Dawson and Anna up close together. There was a group of seven of them, and their table made the loudest noise in the whole place. Their discussions drifted from the roaming eye of professor Jefferson to of course, sex.
“How the girls at this place find him attractive, I’ll never know.” Steven declared.
“You’re a guy, a straight guy, of course you wouldn’t believe he’s attractive.” Jane argued.
“I can’t imagine myself fooling around with him, though…ugh.” Sarah wrinkled her noise. “He’s so old.”
“He’s a teacher, for goodness sake, can we not?” Joey groaned.
“He’s gross.” Anna agreed. “He’s always trying to hit on me, I swear, it’s creepy.”
“You look tired today, Anna.” Steven teased her subtly, winking at Dawson, who went red but smirked slightly.
“I know I do…as for you, you look almost too refreshed. Lots of early nights, Steven?” Anna bit back.
They all laughed and jeered at Steve who rolled his eyes. “By the way, the funniest thing happened last night.” Anna continued.
“Oh no, no, don’t tell them…” Dawson begged but it was too late. They all voiced their desperation to hear the story.
By the time Anna got up too, “WHO is that?” the whole table was in hysterics. Dawson merely bit his tongue and tried not to laugh along with them.
“That’s sooo horrible. Poor girl.” Sara voiced her sympathies. Dawson tried to meet Joey’s eyes over the table and shrug, but she was staring out the window, lost in her own daydreams.
****
“I miss you.” Pacey sighed, and she could see his face, his mouth twisted up with forlorn disappointment she wasn’t there, that they couldn’t see each other for two weeks.
“I know—but don’t think about that, just think about when you can come up.” She twisted the phone cord around her finger delicately.
“I have been.” He spoke slowly, and she smiled. “Me too.”
“I can’t wait until you get out of that place.” He continued. “I want us to get a place of our own… It’ll be great.”
“I—I never thought about something like that.” Joey said thoughtfully, almost nervously. Moving in together was a big step. Living together for 3 months was one thing…
“Don’t you think we should?!” Pacey said encouragingly.
“I mean—we don’t have to be apart…and after a few years…who knows…”
”Who knows,” Joey repeated softly. “I think it sounds… very inviting. Let me think it over, though.”
“You mean—you’ll consider it? And just consider everything. We can do what we want, be together all the time! This could be great.”
“Yes…it could be.”
“I love you…”
“I love you too.”
“I can’t wait to hold you in my arms again…”
Joey laughed. “Poetic, are we? Me either.”
She went to bed reasonably happy…
****
When Joey had invited Dawson to go to a movie with her friends the following Saturday night, neither of them had any idea they’d end up being kicked out of a nearby bar, rolling drunk at 1am in the morning, staggering home in the pitch black dark of night. The others had taken a cab; there was not enough room for all of them and not enough money for another cab, so Joey suggested she and Dawson walk it off.
“This just isn’t fair.” Joey laughed, and then she groaned and held a hand to her head. “Too many daiquiris.”
“And beer. Whatever happened to a nice, sober evening at the movies?”
“What did we see again?”
“Something R rated…”
“A re-release of…7 and a half weeks? No? Or was it nine?” Joey giggled. She then sighed.
“There was a lot of sex in that movie, wasn’t there? It made me sad.”
“Why?” Dawson looked at her in half- drunken amusement. “Sex…sex is good, you know…it’s not s’posed to be sad.”
“Duh.” Joey shrugged, feeling wearier by the minute.
“But…it wasn’t just the sex, it was also…the closeness.”
“Closeness.” He nodded.
“I miss having someone to hold my hand and kiss me and all of that shit.”
“You know---when Pacey comes up, youuu might get lucky.” Dawson teased her. Joey smiled, and shivered at the same time.
“I’m freezing.” She whined. Her head hurt and was starting to feel sick.
She eyed his comfy looking jacket as a not-so-subtle hint and, even though he was slightly intoxicated, Dawson sighed and nodded, slipping it off.
“Here.” He stood behind her and draped it over her narrow shoulders. She could feel his breath on the back of her neck.
She couldn’t help laughing nervously at the close contact. “I’m not a kid…I can take care of it myself.”
“I know. You’re not little Miss Joey Potter, blah, blah, blah.”
Joey smirked. “No…not at all…and by the sounds of it, you’re not little Mr. Dawson Leery.”
“I guess not.” He laughed, shrugging.
“So…now that you know…what do you think?” she said slowly, deliberately.
“Think?” he slowed his walking. “Ahh…about…sex?”
“Yeah. You were always so…curious. Especially with me.”
“Yeah, but the furtherest I got with you was…” Dawson stopped just in time, biting his lip. Joey just laughed loudly, not minding a bit. “Don’t worry! We’ve known each other for years—this should be easy to talk about. You can say it.”
“I’m not going to say it. You know as well as I do.”
“That’s not all of what I meant. I meant—you can ask me why I never let you go further then fingering me.”
“Ohhhkay…that’s really crude.” Dawson laughed, but he wasn’t that embarrassed…probably because he was kind of drunk.
“Well, I don’t want to ask you because it’s a pointless question. We were never…what’s that word? Meant to be? And besides, I think Pacey would have been better…” Dawson stopped.
“I don’t think we should be…talking about this.”
“It’s okay.” Joey put her arm around his shoulders. “But just so you know, it wasn’t you. It wasn’t you at all.”
“That’s comforting.” Dawson said lightly, his smile giving him away.
“So you’re…fine with sex? You like it?”
“Why are we having this conversation? And yes, I do, I admit it. I like it a lot.”
Speaking to Joey about it had made him kind of turned on. He walked her to her dorm, and he contemplated pushing her inside and ripping her clothes off. Then he remembered himself, and almost laughed out loud in disbelief. “Goodnight.” Joey said softly, hugging him.
Mmm. He smelled nice…it was new cologne, spicy, fruity…her nose brushed against his strong neck, and her lower stomach felt warm and liquidy all of a sudden. She knew what that feeling was and she froze, quite surprised. He pulled away from her, murmuring, “Good night Jo…”
He kissed her hard on the cheek goodnight, and then went in the direction of Anna’s room. Joey stared after him.
When he had his orgasm about half an hour later, his mind was wavering through tonnes of different thoughts—Anna…beautiful, warm, Anna who was smiling in post-orgasmic bliss…but another thought was about a young, fifteen year old virgin, biting her lip gently as he slid two fingers inside her warm depths…
The first touch had been intimidating, to say the least, but nice--very nice. She was hot…wet…and very soft. He rubbed his fingers up and down the length of her, and then she had tentatively guided him to the tiny nub, which grew hard under his fingertips. He began to rub it slowly, and she closed her eyes, losing herself to the sensations. He gingerly massaged her outer lips with two fingers slowly, carefully, and then pushed one finger in. She moaned from the new, but good feeling he was giving her. He moved his fingers in and out in a steady rhythm, and she started to pant. With his other hand he began to massage her clit again. This was all it took, and she came, shuddering and lifting her hips off the bed. “God…” she whispered after a few moments, and then she kissed him...
For some reason, that thought had always aroused him. Probably because it was the first time he’d given someone an orgasm… But then he looked at Anna, lying next to him, smiling at him thoughtfully, and all thoughts of Joey vanished.
****
2 weeks later…
Pacey had greeted Joey with a deep, long kiss at the Café where they agreed to meet. “Lets go straight to your room.” He suggested, sex obviously on his mind.
“I’d love too.” Joey said slyly, “But we can’t. Not yet anyway… my roommate’s studying in there, and we have to meet Dawson and his girlfriend for dinner in half an hour.”
“Megan?”
Joey snorted. “Of course not. He dumped her about a month ago, for a girl called Anna Roberts.”
“He dumped Megan? Already? Jesus.”
“Yes. He dumped her because she wasn’t here and he wants sex. That’s all he is about now.” Joey said dryly.
“It’s funny…we managed to work it out.” Pacey pointed out, pulling her close and kissing her softly on the mouth. He stopped and cocked his head to one side.
“Did you just say that Dawson is ‘all about sex’?”
“Yeah…”
“Well—I guess I’m not surprised, but that’s not the nicest thing I’d expect you to say about him.”
“You’re not surprised?”
“Yeah, I mean, come on, he never got any in high school, so he’s making up for it now.”
“He shouldn’t be that shallow.”
“It’s not being shallow, it’s being normal.”
“Whatever.” Joey pulled out a tube of lipstick and opened it.
“Don’t get mad on me.” Pacey rolled his eyes.
“I’m not.”
“Yeah…” he murmured, checking her out suspiciously. “You look real nice.” She had on a black stretchy dress and her usual leather jacket. The effect was quite stunning and sophisticated.
“Thanks.” Joey put the lipstick away and blotted her mouth “I did it for you.”
They kissed again, tenderly. “I am so tempted…” Joey murmured.
“But we have to go.”
****
Dawson and Pacey greeted each other warmly. “This is Anna Roberts.” Dawson introduced Anna, who was holding his hand. Pacey took Anna’s hand and shook it. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too.” Anna’s eyes sparkled. “I’ve actually heard you mentioned a few times by Dawson. It’s always interesting to meet old friends.”
“Of course it is!”
“It’s great to see you again, man.” Pacey welcomed Dawson, and Dawson shook his hand and said, “Same here! What have you been doing with yourself?”
The two guys talked as Joey got directions from the waitress as they entered the restaurant.
“Outside…or inside?” she asked the three.
“It’s too loud outside.” Anna said. “And it’s not too crowded inside…so…”
“Okay.” They sat down at a four- seater table in the corner, the couples sitting next to each other, Anna opposite Pacey, Joey opposite Dawson.
After ordering Garlic Bread and two Pizzas’s to share, Anna entertained them with stories of summers to Italy, where her father lived with his wife, who was a year younger then Anna was. Joey listened enviously—she envied anyone who had travelled overseas, she longed to do it herself.
“Isn’t it…strange having a stepmother younger then you?” Pacey asked, his mouth curled in disgust.
“Well, yes. And it’s gross, too, because she acts like she’s my younger sister or something. She only married my father for his money; I’m not ashamed to admit that! She’s sweet, but extremely promiscuous. She gave my last boyfriend a blowjob behind the pool waterfall. I didn’t mind much because he was boring, but she is my stepmother and she is married for God’s sake. And then she has the nerve to supply me with pointers on how to ‘suck a cock’ as she so delicately puts it…”
Dawson and Pacey both laughed, enjoying the conversation immensely. Joey, however, started to pick at her food, as a sharp, bitter feeling washed over her. She hated herself for being like this—but she was jealous of Anna. Jealous of Anna being able to make Pacey and Dawson laugh. It had been ages since she had been the lively, fun one at a date or party.
“…And I was so worried they’d be off in the city somewhere, pissed as Newts…” now she was telling another story…did the girl ever shut up?
“Remember the time Dawson got drunk at his sixteenth birthday party?” Joey interrupted, and Pacey started to choke on his Pizza. Dawson groaned, “How could I forget?”
Anna looked mildly chuffed at being interrupted, but covered up her look with a smile. “An embarrassing childhood story? I love those…”
“He got so drunk he and this girl called Andie—an ex girlfriend of mine-- got up on stage in a crowded bar and started to sing the blues. It was hilarious.”
Anna laughed. “You’re kidding! I once knew…”
“And then he crashed his own party and started insulting everyone. He called his ex-girlfriend Jen a whore and then he kissed me.” Joey continued, giggling along with Pacey. Dawson sent Joey a small, withering look. “I didn’t call her a whore.” He argued lightly. “I said I wanted to party with her because she was fun!” Joey shrugged. Dawson rolled his eyes. Why was she interrupting Anna all the time? Joey stared back at him, innocently, but her green eyes were flashing.
“And then she pushed his head in the cake!” Pacey finished the story with a bellow of laughter. “It was the best party ever.”
“You were such a tortured individual…” Joey sighed.
“Hey, you were just as tortured. I wasn’t the one with the closeted gay boyfriend.”
Anna squealed with laughter. “Ohh no…you poor thing!”
Joey, looking flustered, sipped her wine. “It’s not funny…”
“I never said it was.” Dawson pointed out.
“Speaking of Jack, guess who I got in touch with?” Pacey interrupted, sensing tension.
“Uh…Jack?” Joey guessed.
“No…Grace.”
Blank looks eluded him.
“Jen, you idiots!”
“Oh! How is she?”
Pacey filled them in on her adventures in London, working as a fashion assistant.
“Is she—the…uh…” Anna started to say and Joey replied, “Dawson’s loose ex girlfriend? Yes.” She then realized what she said. Oh shit—now she came across as bitter and bitchy. “Well, not really. I mean, she’s not ‘loose’ at all, I was just being sarcastic when I said that!” She hurried on.
“Enough wine for you.” Dawson laughed, placing a hand over hers.
“Excuse me, I can take care of myself.” Joey slid her hand out from underneath his, refusing to meet his persistent eyes. She suddenly felt very hot.
“Words well spoken by you, but not followed up on a whole lot.” Dawson murmured.
“I think Joey’s fine.” Pacey said testily, looking at Dawson strangely for a second.
“I know.” Dawson had regretted his words ever since they left his mouth. “I—was kidding.”
“No you weren’t, you were insinuating I am a drunk.” Joey retorted.
“NO I didn’t…”
“Yes you did! So what? At least I’m not a square, and it’s not like it’s interrupting my studies…I’m fine, without your…”
“We all need to lighten up.” Anna interrupted brightly. “Joey—stop being so disagreeable.”
“I’m not being disagreeable! And I don’t think you need any more lightening up…you’ll float.” Joey finished under her breath, but everyone heard her anyway.
“I’m sorry.” Anna looked confused. “Did I say something insulting?”
“No, Joey said something insulting, as usual.” Dawson snapped.
Joey looked at him right in the eye, annoyed.
“You…” she started to say, then stopped. You…what?
She suddenly felt very embarrassed. “Excuse me.” She got up abruptly from the table, threw down her napkin and rushed out of the restaurant.
“Oh, shit.” Pacey said, groaning. “What is up with her? Dawson—you bastard.” He said it lightly, as if he was kidding, but his expression was stressed.
“I’m sorry…” Anna started to say but Dawson interrupted. “Don’t be. It’s my fault.”
****
“What an evening.” Anna said regretfully when they stopped at the door of her room.
“I am so sorry…” Dawson apologized again.
“You didn’t do anything.” Anna smiled. “I didn’t, either—it was just a whole shit load of misunderstandings.”
They kissed warmly.
“I’d drag you inside, but Nancy…you know…my roommate and all.” She teased him.
“You’re so lucky.” Dawson was one of the lucky few students who had a room all to himself.
“We could go to yours…” Anna started to say, but Dawson shook his head.
“I can’t, I’d love too, but I have the biggest headache…”
“Poor thing.” Anna sighed, kissing his forehead. Her lips were welcomingly cool on his warm skin.
“Is Pacey going to be okay?”
“Yeah, he just went back to Joey’s dorm, she should be there.”
“He’s great. I like him.” Anna said enthusiastically. “But Joey…well…maybe she has PMS?”
“Okay…too much intuition information.” Dawson laughed. They kissed again, goodnight.
****
Dawson unlocked the door to his room and then froze. There was a movement behind him in the darkness. He whirled around, not knowing what to expect.
“Fuck.” He exclaimed when he saw who it was.
“What are you doing here?”
Joey was leaning against the hallway wall, just looking at him through the darkness. Light from the moon spilled into the hallway from a high up window, illuminating each other’s features. Joey’s eyes were completely unreadable. She had on her jacket, but she was still shivering.
“I wish I could say something like, I’m sorry, about tonight.” Joey said.
“But I’m not, really. You didn’t have to say those things…and I guess I’m just…confused.”
“Confused?” he repeated softly.
Their eyes met in a tantalizing gaze.
“Yes.” She whispered, barely able to get the words out of her mouth because her heart was pounding so hard.
They met eyes for a moment longer, and then Dawson took her hand and almost roughly pulled her into his room, slamming the door behind them…
****
At first, Joey hadn’t been sure what he wanted to do…was it the same thing she wanted…? Or…
Not bothering to turn on any lights, he had taken her into his arms and had kissed her passionately. Joey was surprised, but the hands tearing the coat from her shoulders, unzipping his jeans and the mouth moaning belonged to herself.
They had gone into his room, tearing off their clothes, and then he had practically thrown her onto the bed. She had taken him into her as fast as she could, and he had been amazed at how wet and frantic she was to be with him. His hands and lips were everywhere she wanted them to be…she was underneath him, and then on top of him, moving, pushing and working towards a release. She had come first, and then he had followed a few seconds later, finally collapsing with a grunt. Sweaty, hot and breathing hard, the two had stayed entwined for a few moments, Dawson stroking her right breast softly, reassuringly.
Now, Joey was sitting on the edge of the bed, zipping up her dress, quietly berating herself over and over again. Dawson was sitting up in bed, still naked, and not sure what to say or do. It all seemed so surreal. He looked at the clock. An hour. Only an hour had passed since he had unlocked the door, since he had totally fucked up their lives… What had he been thinking! But it had been good…the best sex he had ever had, in fact. She was hunched over now, putting on her boots.
“This won’t happen again.” Joey finally spoke. There was a catch in her voice.
Dawson simply regarded her flippantly by nodding. She was halfway towards her dorm room, on the road, at 2am, when she crumbled and began to cry, stopping and burying her face in her hands.
I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe,
until you're resting here with me
I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be,
until you're resting here with me
Several months later, December 24th, New York
“Hi! Merry Christmas.” An invigorative, decorated Joey answered the door to the two story modern apartment with a bright smile and a glass of champagne in her right hand.
“Hey.” Dawson gestured for his girlfriend, Anna, to walk in first, before he stepped in behind her and kissed Joey on the cheek.
“Holy shit, I almost broke my nose,” he teased her, indicating towards the gigantic gold bells dangling from her earlobes.
“Fuck you, Mr. Leery.” Joey said sweetly. She then turned her attention to the woman standing beside him, and Dawson said, “You remember Anna Roberts, right?”
“Oh, of course I do.” Joey’s eyes gave away no embarrassment as she shook hands with the pretty red head she had had dinner with only a month ago.
“How are you, Joey?” Anna smiled warmly, and Joey smiled back. Anna then took Dawson’s hand and dragged him off to the party.
Joey watched them curiously for a few seconds, and then turned back to the front door where another couple had entered.
“Hey, that’s Anna, isn’t it?” Pacey, Joey’s fiancée, came by with a bottle of beer and a curious smile.
“Yeah.” Joey nodded. “Still dating, would you believe…Hey guys, come on in, get yourself a drink.” She greeted more newcomers.
“Are they in love?”
“I don’t know.” Joey laughed, shaking her head. She turned and jabbed Pacey’s chest. “And if they are, it’s none of your business.”
“Honey, no one can keep a secret from me.”
“You’d be surprised.”
“Oh, would I?”
“I don’t know…go on, mingle.”
“Is this the right apartment?” a familiar male’s voice filtered the front hall and Joey jumped in surprise.
“Jack!” she exclaimed.
“You made it.”
“Duh.” He pulled her in for a hug and a kiss.
“Come with me, I’ll get you a glass of champagne. Everyone is here…”
****
“Nice place.” Dawson complimented Joey. He had walked into the kitchen, where she was getting some more champagne with Jack.
“Thanks.” She turned and smiled at him. Jack and Dawson hugged quickly. “Great to see you again, man.” “Oh, You too.”
Joey handed him a glass, and Jack’s partner, Sam, popped his head into the room. “Jack? I’ve got a bunch of people waiting to meet you.”
Jack rolled his eyes. “Coming.”
Dawson smiled after him. He felt Joey’s eyes on him.
****
“So…you two are engaged, aren’t you?” Anna enquired to Pacey.
“Yes.” He grinned.
“When’s the wedding?”
“Haven’t set a date yet, but probably next year or the year after.”
“You two are such a cute couple.” Anna clinked her glass with his.
“I know.”
“Good luck.”
“Thanks…hey, have you seen my girl?”
“She’s in the kitchen.”
Pacey excused himself and went in the direction of the kitchen.
“What are you doing, hiding in here?” he laughed, and then he realized he was talking to no one. The kitchen was empty.
****
As soon as the laundry door was closed, Dawson grabbed Joey in a fierce grip and kissed her full on the mouth. He then let her lips go and just embraced her, burying his head into her neck. “God I missed you…as soon as I saw you I wanted to do this.”
“Mmm me too.” She sighed; hugging him back, craving the feel of his hard body on hers.
“I just want to take you…right now, up against the door,” he murmured huskily in her ear, heightening her sense of arousal.
“What’s stopping you?” she smiled demurely, unzipping her dress.
“What’s stopping me is an apartment full of people and no lock on the door.” He replied, staring at her, his eyes full of lust.
“Like a crowded place has ever stopped you before…” She said sarcastically, stepping out of her dress. She stood in front of him, shivering, in only a black lace bra and panties.
Dawson never ceased to be amazed and aroused instantly at the sight of a scantily clad Joey. He didn’t move, he just looked at her, taking in her full breasts, naked neck and long legs… his gaze then settled between her legs and he knew there was no way he was going to resist her tonight. He hadn’t been able to the second time, either…or the third. Or the other times after that, in his dorm, and then his apartment. Hot sweaty rushed afternoons and long evenings…
“Aren’t you gonna take off your clothes too?” she asked teasingly, walking forward and unzipping his jeans, but his hands closed over hers. “Not yet.”
He kissed her again and again until Joey thought she’d die from lack of air…”I think you like this situation.” She sighed, running her hand down his well-defined chest.
“Me practically naked, you fully clothed…is it a power trip or something?”
“You talk too much.” He kissed her urgently, losing himself in soft blissful waves.
“This…is so wrong.” Joey whispered between kisses.
