part one. By Anne Gooding

Summary: This occurs after, “The Breakfast Club.” When Dawson and Joey make love, they must fight to keep it a secret from Jen, whose grandfather’s condition is worsening. But with Pacey who knows the truth, it’s gonna be a lot harder then expected.

Feedback: Yes please ;-) I totally dig hearing what other peaple think…even if they hate it!

Sometimes I wake up
In the dark of night
And in my mind,
there's a picture of you
I know someday this dream will come alive
So for now, your shadow will do
I've never seen your face
but I know your in my heart,
maybe some day some place
I'll hold you in my arms

I have a gift for you,
something I've held on to
waiting for your sweet caress
no ribbon has been untied,
for all that i hold inside
and only You will possess
this heart of innocence

I lay my head down on a pillow of white
Here in the dark I am cradled in peace
Though ghosts of yesterday
Do haunt me at night
No tears to dry
No sad memory
Is it hard to hold?

I will safely keep
the strength that's in my soul until you come to me
I have a gift for you,
something I've held on to
waiting for your sweet caress
no ribbon has been untied, for all that i hold inside
and only You will possess
this heart of innocence

Everynight I make a wish before I fall asleep
That destiny will take your hand and lead you to me
I have a gift for you,
something I've held on to
waiting for your sweet caress
no ribbon has been untied,
for all that I hold inside
and only you will possess
this heart of innocence
I love you...

She was quiet; she had fallen asleep no doubt in his arms in the last ten minutes. He stroked her hair, which was splayed, over his chest, and he could hear her steady breathing. He was, right now, trapped between two walls though he felt content as the darkness enveloped the two of them.

He loved Joey. He knew that. As a best friend. And sleeping with her had been…it defied description. But the thing was, he had a girlfriend! Jen! And Joey was only his best friend...he closed his eyes, and shuddered as she moved against him in her sleep. She was beautiful. Especially underneath all those clothes.

The thought of having sex with Jen made his heart beat a million miles an hour. How things had changed. He had had sex with Joey, his best friend.

He didn’t want to think of the future, or the past. He wanted to be here, right now, with her. She murmured in her sleep and moved her hand so it was placed on his chest. Dawson thought back to when it all began. ****

“Okay…if you just, breathe normally it won’t go up your nose.” Jen instructed Joey, handing her the rolled up piece of paper. Pacey looked on in obvious amusement, as did Dawson who couldn’t wait to see what happened.

“Come on Jo, try it.” Dawson encouraged, just as the sky rumbled outside.

Joey took it tentatively and looked at Dawson, who shrugged, then at Pacey who sighed and raised his eyebrows. She took a drag and scrunched her face up as the smoke rose and swirled around her.

“Ugh!” she waved her hand in front of her face and started to cough. “Gross.” They all fell about laughing as Joey scowled, “So not funny, guys.”

“Okay, okay.” Jen stood up. “Come on Pacey, we better get going while Dawson and Joey clean his room.”

They all stood up and waved their good-byes before heading outside, towards Jen's house. There was a sudden, loud, bolt of thunder and lightening lightened up the sky. Joey jumped a mile and Dawson started to laugh, he knew Joey got easily freaked out by storms. They could hear Jen's front door slamming as she and Pacey walked in, just as it started to rain and rain hard it did. The rain pelted onto the ground and Dawson and Joey made their way over to the window and looked out, astonished by this sudden storm.

"Jesus, I can barely see anything." Joey breathed, even though it was 8pm and you normally can't see anything anyway, it was still pitch black outside.

She began to feel a little uneasy.

"How are we going to get to Jen's, and clean up this room before your parents come back?" she asked Dawson. "The rain should die down soon." Dawson said reassuringly.

The lights flickered as a loud bolt of thunder sounded, practically making the room shake. Joey gasped, and the lights in the house went out in a bang.

"Holy shit!" Dawson swore. Another, then another and another sound of thunder sounded pretty close by, and shaking, Joey raced for the closet, sliding inside and closing her eyes tight.

"Joey?" Dawson called.

"Joey?"

"I'm in here," she said in a muffled tone. "The wardrobe." despite himself, Dawson chuckled and felt his way around over to the wardrobe.

He slowly eased himself down and could feel Joey's thigh. "Watch it," she snapped.

"Oops, sorry." he said, crossing his legs and then squinting. He could barely make out her form.

"Doesn't this bring back memories?" he sighed.

"I guess. I feel like a baby but I didn't know where else to go. I hate thunderstorms, and blackouts. This is a nightmare!" she seethed.

He put his arm around her and she instantly relaxed.

"Chill, Jo." she felt herself blushing as his arm tightened around her, and she wondered why he was holding her like this.

Well, to comfort her, of course.

"This is weird." she eventually spoke up, turning her face towards his.

Their faces were very close and he began to feel a little dizzy as he stared at her in the dark.

He wanted to kiss her. That was the first thought that came to his mind. Was he crazy?

Their faces were inches apart, his eyes staring into her eyes and yes, he wanted to kiss her. They were so close, and his hands were on her thighs.

The electricity was just crackling between them as the rain and thunder fell down heavily outside, and Joey grabbed the cuff of his shirt and unexpectantly, yanked him down on top of her. Their mouths seemed to melt into a kiss straight away, and it turned into a passionate, frenzied kiss and his hands, which had been limp, suddenly came alive and he slowly and sensually slid them up and down her body. ****

Joey was awakened by the sound of gentle, falling rain.

. She sniffed and yawned, then her eyes opened and her gaze fell on the window where she noticed it was morning; A gray and rainy morning. She stretched, and realized she was kind of sore around the pelvic area. It all came back to her, quite, quite vividly.

There was a blackout, and Dawson had crawled into the closet with her. She had kissed him…because he was just so hot, he was there, and he was gazing at her. They had made out, and she had felt his arousal jutting hard into her. He had tugged her clothes off with a little help from her, then they had then crawled to the bed...and there, they had sex. Blindly, fumbling passionately, their breath fast and hard as he tugged the condom on and she spread her legs, expecting white-hot pain. And it hurt…it stung, actually. But she overlooked that fact as they made love, and he came, making unmentionable noises into the warm crook of her bare neck and shoulder. And that alone had been enough for her.

She shot up, clutching the sheets to her naked form and looked over at Dawson, who was lying on his back, one arm slung around her waist, the other by his side. He looked gorgeous and she felt her heart melt. And the knowledge they had shared something so intimate was incredibly pleasurable.

Her hand instinctively reached out to touch his face. It was a moment of pure tenderness, and his eyes flickered open to see her gazing at him. He immediately grabbed her hand and squeezed it, smiling softly. "Hey." he said, and he pulled her down onto of him. They kissed sweetly, lost in their own world.

But remembering the circumstances surrounding this little union, Joey pulled away.

"Dawson..." she started, and he realized as well. What had they done?

He sat up and they were both quiet, before she leaned over and collected her underwear and shirt, her jeans were in a rumpled heap in the wardrobe. He did the same, he got his clothes and quickly they both dressed, their backs turned. She then quickly ran over to the closet to retrieve her jeans.

"Dawson!" a female voice rang from downstairs. Jen. Joey struggled to put on her jeans as Jen entered the room. Dawson, who was holding his shirt in one hand looked quite alarmed and quickly tried to cover it up.

“Dawson…oh my god! Can you believe it?” Jen said all in one breath as she walked in and hugged him, kissing his lips. Joey silently slid into the closet, closing the door behind her as she pulled on her jeans and buttoned them up, feeling humiliated, confused, apprehensive and glowing, all in one.

“That had to be the biggest storm I have ever been in. Pacey and I had to spend the night in my room…though don’t worry, not on my bed, on the floor, roasting marshmallows. Where’s Joey?”

Jen looked around the room, but only saw Dawson’s rumpled bed. “She went home.” Dawson said quickly. “We didn’t roast marshmallows or anything, we just talked and eventually, fell asleep.” The lies came shooting out of his mouth. He couldn’t stop them!

“So, anyway.” Jen continued, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“Pacey and I got talking, and we said that, hey, wouldn’t it be great if we all went camping?”

“Huh?” Joey let out a wheeze in the closet and Jen jumped a little, but didn’t suspect anyone was in the room. Dawson just raised his eyebrows.

“Camping? Well…umm…Jen I don’t really think that…”

“Come on, it’ll be great.” Jen enthused. “Just the four of us…letting loose, you know how I wanted too last weekend…but we had that stupid Detention thingy.”

“Camping will be good.” She continued,

Then she lowered her voice. “If you know what I mean.” ****

“Joey!” Bessie called as she entered the house. It was dark, and silent.

“Joey where are you?” Bessie called again. She walked into Joey’s room and saw her lying face down on the bed.

“Jo…what’s wrong?” Bessie asked worriedly, going over and sitting next to her, rubbing her back.

“Nothing…I’m just tired.” Joey said with a hint of a sob in her voice.

“Liar.” Bessie said. “Tell me what’s wrong, Jo. You’re clearly upset…boy troubles? Dawson…”

Bessie’s voice gave away what she was thinking. Dawson. It was definitely Dawson.

“No.” Joey said hurriedly.

“It’s nothing, okay? Can’t you leave me alone?” Bessie took a deep breath and refused to budge.

“You obviously look upset about something. I may not be an expert, but I think perhaps…talking about whatever is bothering you, may help you feel better?”

Joey lifted her head slightly. “You’ll throw me out of the house.” She declared, and Bessie started to laugh.

“It’s not funny.” Joey fumed.

“Drugs? Cheating? Stealing, lying?” Bessie asked incredulously, but then started to look serious.

“It isn’t…you aren’t pregnant, are you?”

Joey raised an eyebrow. “Do I look *that* upset?” she said dryly.

Then she shook her head. “We used a condom so I don’t…”

Bessie’s eyes popped out of her head. “Joey…!” she exclaimed. Whoops…too soon.

“You had sex with Dawson?” Bessie asked quietly, and Joey nodded.

Bessie nodded, biting her lip. Now she understood everything. “Was it…the actual physical bit, or…?” she asked tentatively.

Joey rolled her eyes. “Um…can we not talk about it?”

Bessie gave her a stern look. “Jo, it’s best to talk about these things.”

“Not this.” She sighed, rolling onto her back.

“You’d never understand.”

Bessie cackled. “Nonsence. I had my first time with a very good friend as well…I know what you’re going through.”

“I’ve heard this story.” Joey said, sighing.

“And it’s different because you weren’t in love with him.”

“Ohh Jo…” Bessie sighed, rubbing her back ****

After he had gotten Jen to leave, Joey had shot out and then down the stairs, embarrassed. Leaving him to sit on the bed completely mystified. The bed was slightly damp in the middle from where they had spent a good hour or so discovering more of each other then they ever had before, or with anyone else.

He decided the sheets needed changing. As he ripped them off the bed, a small wrapper fell onto the floor and he groaned, closing his eyes. It had happened. It had really happened. He held the sheets to him, and he caught a whiff of her, of her smell which since last night now had a permanent spot in his brain. It was her smell, her hair, her skin, her intimacy. And it was on his sheets, so very strongly.

He laughed a little and shoved his hands in his pockets when he conjured up thoughts of how deep he had sunk inside her…and how warm she had felt, and how soft her breasts were…he was flushing red so he forced himself to stop thinking.

He could still hear her, hear that moan which was elicited as a cry. A cry which she was able to utter the only words she had during the ordeal, "wait." She had uttered it halfway and near the end of him being inside her, he was lost…he couldn’t stop…he had continued to make love to her as she clawed his back, whispering incoherently into his ear as her legs tightened around his back. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up…and they weren’t the only thing to stand to attention.

Wow, so was he confused or what. Confused was an understatement. He felt like calling her, talking to her.

He then remembered Jen, all smiles and sunshine, silky hair; pouty lips and he felt ashamed for cheating on her…with his best friend.

It was just a one-time thing, a fluke, and a mistake. He was no longer a virgin, though, and his mood started to uplift, but only a teensy bit before it plummeted. He had to talk to Joey. ****

Dawson didn’t end up going to see her till the next morning, but he did, and early. Joey’s face was pale and she wore a frown her face as she answered the door.

“Hey.” She said, her voice barely audible. “I figured you show up sooner or later.” Dawson cleared his throat and shrugged. “I wanted to see if you were okay.”

He studied her form, she was slouching a little, and her face was looking almost embarrassed.

Joey laughed, and flushed, but replied with slight scorn to her voice. “Okay? Of course I’m not okay. I feel like such a…” she groaned and put her head in her hands.

“Dawson…what are we going to do?” He swallowed a lump forming in his throat, and decided to go on. He stepped inside, and carefully placed his hand on her back.

“Maybe we can talk this out…” he started.

“Talk?” Joey exclaimed.

“Yeah, right. Talking about this won’t help shit, Dawson.”

“Look…maybe it will, if we just talk about what we’re going to do, and our feelings.” He shrugged.

“It might help some.”

“Okay then.” Joey crossed her arms. “Do you think it was wrong? An accident?” her face softened and she now looked like she as feeling on the inside, vulnerable and uncertain.

”Well…. Yeah.” Dawson said immediately.

“Same.” Joey nodded her head, ignoring the fact she was lying.

“It was in the heat of the moment.” Dawson said softly. “And we should leave it at that.”

Joey nodded again. “Then what else is there to talk about?” she said.

“I mean, we’ve pretty much ruined our friendship.”

“No we haven’t.” he protested, but he was lying. He didn’t know much about life but he knew that what they had done wasn’t the best option for their friendship.

“It was just sex Jo, we can get back to…before.” Of course that wasn’t true, but Joey didn’t feel like arguing. She nodded. “Yeah.” And gave him a faint smile.

“It’s weird though, I was hoping…” she swallowed and he raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue.

“That my first time wouldn’t end in, ‘it was a mistake.’”

“Ohh, Joey…” he whispered hoarsely, truly feeling like the biggest jerk on the planet. He automatically pulled her into his arms for a hug, and she buried her head into his chest, trying hard not to cry as he started to stroke her hair. The things he did to her felt so good…but they couldn’t do them again. Or could they? She clumsily stroked his chest, and immediately felt him react. But he pulled away.

“I better go.” He said roughly.

“Whatever.” She mumbled, watching him leave. ***

“Buck up, little camper.” Pacey said energetically.

“And I mean that literally, my man…this week-end is the week-end of fun. I am determined to have fun and not think about…well, you know.” Dawson was moping. Again. And Pacey was sick of it. He yanked the remote out of his hand.

“I know, I know.” Dawson said tiredly.

“When are we leaving?”

“Bright and early tomorrow morning.” Pacey replied, rubbing his hands together.

Dawson grit his teeth. “Must you be this…this…bright all the damn time?”

“Look Dawson.” Pacey said, sitting down on the bed and rolling his eyes. “I don’t know what happened to you starting from last night….”

“Nothing happened.” Dawson said quickly. “I’m fine…Joey’s fine…” he was cut off when Pacey whipped his head around. Dawson gulped.

Pacey froze. His eyes widened, and he slowly pointed a finger at Dawson.

“You fucked Joey!,” he exclaimed, hopping off the bed.

“You and Joey…all alone…in the dark…” Pacey’s words all came tumbling out, almost tangled up in each other.

“Dawson…man…you can tell me.” Dawson kept his mouth shut, and all he could manage was a simple shrug. But Pacey could read the truth in his eyes.

“And now you’re feeling guilty…for whatever reason I can’t say…Oh that's right..." Pacey slapped his head "Jen!" he rolled his eyes.

Dawson sighed. “Jesus Pacey…don’t remind me.”

Pacey sat back down, shaking his head in utter disbelief.

“So the two of you really hit the sheets butt naked, huh?” Dawson nodded, and grimaced at Pacey’s casual references towards something so…unlike that. Well, it was like that…but yet it wasn’t. and Pacey just grinned. “I knew this would happen.”

“You did not.” Dawson scoffed.

“I did…but not this soon of course.” Pacey said, crossing his arms and laying back across the bed. “Okay Dawson, I want details.”

“You’re not going to get em’ “Dawson replied dryly.

“Dawson, as best buddies we’re required to give em.’ Pacey laughed. “And I didn’t need to give you mine coz you saw it on video.”

“Correction, as best buddies you’re supposed to support me, and to not tell girlfriends of buddies about buddy’s sex with buddy’s other best friend who happens to be a girl…” Dawson said hurriedly.

Pacey flickered hi eyebrow. This was interesting. He now…sort of had a hold over the guy. “Come on Dawson…can’t you even tell me if the sex was any good?” Pacey asked, pretending to be exasperated.

“We’re teenagers. We have sex. We make mistakes.” Pacey continued bluntly. “It’s no big deal. Get over it. I mean knowing you and Joey you two will probably become closer because of this experience, and then get married and have 2 point three kids…”

“Pacey, it is then obvious to you why I’m so glum.” Dawson practically spat.

“Because before this happened, everything was simple. Joey and I were…best friends.” Dawson gestured towards a photo of them in the row boat.

“And now we have sex, and because of that, it must mean my feelings for her…mean more.”

Pacey shook his head and raised an eyebrow expertly.

“Not exactly my friend.” He leaned forward. “It is possible to like having sex with a friend…especially one as hot as Joey…and yet not harbor any like, love feelings for her.” Pacey got off the bed.

“Go to sleep. I’ll be here at 6:00am. And you, Dawson, will think about what I said.”

He exited the room and Dawson lay back on the bed. Damn Pacey. Always knew what to say, always sounded right. ****

Quietly stepping through the window, Joey tiptoed over to the bed, and looked down at his sleeping form.

It was 3:00am, and she had her bag with her…ready for when in three hours Pacey came to pick them up.

“Dawson…Dawson…” she hissed, nudging him.

“Hmmm…” he moaned, and his eyelids fluttered open.

“Jo!” He gasped, sitting up straight.

“Yeah…hi.” She replied flatly, and she threw her bag down on the floor. She crawled onto the bed and crossed her arms.

“So…wanna watch a movie until Pacey comes?” she asked lightly. Hell, if things had to go back to what they were like before, they better start now.

“At….at….3…A.M?” he spluttered.

“No time like the present.” She cheerfully replied, patting his leg. Whoops. She laughed inwardly when he jumped. This should make for an interesting day.

She sighed. This was just, too weird. The night before they were…having sex. And now they were sitting, innocently on his bed, watching infomercials. She suddenly started to feel…sort of betrayed as she looked at him through the corner of her eyes. He had said it was in the, ‘heat of the moment.’ She remembered getting her senses back during the act, and she had exclaimed something…perhaps “Wait…” and he had not waited…he had not stopped. She hadn’t minded…after all, she could barely think as he drove in deeper, and something inside her just…broke. She still wasn’t sure if it had been orgasm or something else.

Joey’s face and neck had gotten very warm and very red, and she turned her body so she was facing out the window. She felt…like…she had been used. Like Dawson had used her to fulfill his sexual needs or something stupid like that.

“Joey.” Dawson was saying her name, hoarsely. He was pressed up against her, his hand resting on her arm.

“What do you want?” the words tumbled out of her mouth, surprising him slightly at the cold, harsh nature of her words.

“I…I…” he stuttered.

“I actually don’t know what to say, but…”

Joey moved slightly away from him.

“Dawson.” She whispered.

“Just don’t say anything.” ****

“So Pacey knows where we are going, right?” Joey asked, as she stepped out of his window and onto the roof, and he passed her her bag. It was 6:10, and Pacey had had to actually physically go and ‘remove.’ Jen from her bed and carry her down the stairs.

She was on the hood of his car, sleeping like a baby as he tried to wake her up by gently slapping her cheeks.

Joey laughed, and when Dawson stepped out and brushed against her, she shivered, but just smiled gently at him. He smiled back, and for that one, precious moment, everything was wonderful as he gazed into her eyes, the memories, their soft murmurs entered their minds…

“OW! SHIT PACEY!” Jen shrieked, jumping off the car. Pacey sighed and shrugged. Jen rubbed her backside. “That was so uncalled for!” she growled.

Instantly Joey and Dawson were snapped out of their reverie.

“Move your asses!” Pacey yelled up to them. Jen waved to Dawson, and he waved back. She got into the back seat, indicating her boyfriend Dawson would go in after her.

Joey slipped into the front seat of the jeep and smiled weakly at Pacey. She looked at the front of the car, then looked back at Pacey who was looking at her extremely weirdly. He was half grinning, and his eyebrows were raised as he started the car.

Joey’s face flushed. Dawson…didn’t. He didn’t tell Pacey, did he? She glared at Dawson through the rear-view mirror, to see him cuddled up to Jen.

Instantly, her scowl was wiped off as Jen kissed Dawson’s cheek. She felt a hard, forceful blow in the middle of her stomach, and she quickly looked out the window, choking up and squeezing her eyes shut, as if trying not to cry.

Ohh why did she agree to go on this stupid trip? Her eyes closed as Pacey backed out of the driveway.

“Joey…Joey…I love…,” her eyes snapped open as soon as those words slipped out of her mind, like a dream. Dawson had said that. She remembered he had said that exact line in the midst of caressing, and sweet tender kisses It hadn’t all just been harsh breathing…he had said her name over and over…

They had not been drunk or drugged as they made love…so everything said, everything done must have been directly from the heart. Looking at Dawson again in the rearview mirror, Joey saw him now looking at her. Their eyes met. Joey looked away, drumming her fingers on the dashboard. She felt some hope. If just a tad, of hope. She licked her lips. ****

“This is so typical.” Joey growled, wiping her brow. The car had run out of petrol, hence the four of them were in a gas station. Jen had demanded they get refreshments before going anywhere else.

Dawson passed her a coke, where she was seated at one of the tables outside the station.

“Wanna share?” he asked casually.

She raised a questionable eyebrow.

“Jen hates coke…” Dawson shrugged, and she took the drink from him, sipping the straw without wiping it first, her smoldering eyes giving him a simple, clear look.

For some reason, he found the act of Joey sipping from a straw…a straw he had used…to be incredibly sexy.

He discreetly stared at her, licking his bottom lip as it was dry. Her jean clad legs were crossed on the plastic green chair, and the toe of her sneakers were dangerously close to his crotch.

Dawson curiously wondered why he was suddenly thinking about every move she did. But it was clear that the whole day had been spent with complete concentration on her small, elegant moves, the way she flipped her hair back, how she kept adjusting her bra straps.

Dawson remembered when he had kept fumbling with the damn claspy thingy. It would have driven him mad if it wasn’t for her cool lips on his neck. Oh god… Oh god. He felt he was doomed to forever wander the earth, thinking only of a lay with the girl down the creek. His fucking friend for christ’s sake. Never before had he thought anything more of her, until a few nights ago.

“Okay boys, we’re off!” Pacey bellowed, waving wildly to the two, and Jen came around the corner after ‘refreshing’ herself.

Joey groaned. Jen looked great…silky hair just brushed, lip-gloss and all. Joey had just washed her face and sprayed on some deodorant then that was the end of her refreshing.

Dawson was probably looking at her embarrassed at the thought that he had laid his hands on her.

“Reversal.” Pacey spoke up, laying his hand on Jen’s shoulder. “It’s your turn in the front, blondie!”

Then behind Jen’s back, he did the worst most mortifying thing. He winked at both Dawson and Joey, whose feet were stuck to the pavement.

Joey went red with rage and shot daggers at Dawson, who cowered slightly, trying to avoid her angry glare which was yelling, “You TOLD him! You bastard!”

Throwing open the door and pretending not to notice Jen’s surprised look at her sudden change of mood, Joey slumped into the car and immediately turned her body so it faced outside. She made sure one of the sleeping bags was shoved between them. Dawson did the same, but without the anger, just embarrassment.

In the front, Pacey cheerfully started the car up and grinned at Jen, who smiled slightly back at him and pretended to be fascinated with twirling the knobs on the car radio. Something was up. She was quite sure of it. Dawson and Joey never behaved in this way---they were acting like fourth graders who had just been teased mercifully about liking one another, and to prove they didn’t, refused to look at each other.

Had something happened the other night she didn’t know about? Her hands suddenly felt very clammy. From the moment she started to date Dawson, she had been absolutely petrified that Miss Long Legged Potter would swoop in and steal him off his feet, leaving Jen to cope with the accusing glares in the hallways on her own. Had it finally happened?

Jen closed her eyes for a few seconds then opened them and looked at both Dawson and Joey in the backseat. Joey was tapping her chin, her jaw was tense and she kept licking her lips. Dawson’s expression was unreadable.

When she thought about it, Jen began to feel more calm. They could have just had a fight! Who knows when…probably at the gas station, Pacey witnessed it and wanted them to ‘make up.’ So he shoved them in the back seat. Simple. Jen pushed her thick hair back from her face and fanning herself, smiled which lit up her face. Pacey laughed. “Wow Jen….you look…happy.”

“I have every reason to be.” Jen replied smugly, rolling her eyes, and Pacey grinned back. “Of course. You are in the care of Pacey Witt-ier…” He rambled on about superman or something, but Jen wasn’t listening. Time to do some serious planning….she was glad she felt more relieved.

The next five minutes, before she fell asleep, were spent smiling flirtatiously at Dawson in the rearview mirror. But somehow her eyes missed out on what was going on behind the sleeping bag.

Joey’s hand lay in Dawson’s, and his thumb ran sensually over hers. He then outlined the palm of her hand with his forefinger, and she shivered slightly, still refusing to meet his gaze.

****

“Ohhhh Pacey…” Jen breathed, stepping out of the truck.

“This is so…not bad.”

“My family may be handicapped in say, other values of life.” Pacey said, grinning.

“But we sure know a cool camping place when we see one.”

Joey stumbled out of the car, looking a bit pale and holding her stomach delicately. “Pacey…I know there were rocks and all, but did you have to drive over all of them?”

Joey really wasn’t feeling all that well and all she wanted to do was lie down. Not even having Dawson stroke her hand was enough to make her feel better, in fact in the last half hour of Pacey driving it had gotten strange. What were they doing? It felt good, but was it right?

Joey sighed and closed her eyes. What was right anymore?

“Uh-oh…Joey, if you’re going to barf, do it several yards away from me!” Pacey said, holding up both of his hands.

“No, I’m not going to be sick.” Joey said crossly.

Jen sent her a sympathetic glance and tugged out Joey’s bag plus hers.

“I’ll…um, well, try and set up our tent.” She said to Joey, smiling, clearly stating that she was going too, and wanted too, share a tent with Joey. Joey just nodded dumbly.

“Waaaait a minute.” Pacey said teasingly. “Can we trust the two of you not to tear each other’s hair out?”

Jen stuck her tongue out at him and stomped off.

Pacey turned to Joey and shrugged. “Oh well, we can trust you and Jen together more then you and Dawson…I know for an unfortunate fact you and Jen won’t be ripping each other’s clothes off!” Joey raised her hand as if to slap Pacey hard on the face, but Dawson materialized from what seemed like out of nowhere and stepped between them.

“Pacey, get your ass over there and set up the god damned tent.” He said quickly. Pacey bowed, murmuring, “Yes master.” Grinning cheekily, then grabbing the bag with the tent in it, practically skipped over to where Jen was cursing over the tangled mess of tent sheets.

Dawson turned around and Joey quickly hung her head so she wouldn’t have to look into his eyes…in case she did something drastic, like, kick him hard where it hurts the most, jab his stomach, or…or…kiss him.

“I’m sorry.” Dawson said in a low voice.

“I shouldn’t have told him. But it just…blurted out.”

“Blurted out?” Joey hissed, finally raising her face so he could see her anger.

“You…you…I mean, it was the most…sensitive issue! And you just TOLD Pacey? It’s our business, and only ours, because it happened between us, not him. And now look what’s happening! Jen’s going to find out and…”

Dawson made a grab for her arm to quiet her down, but she tore out of his grip and roughly pushed past him, jabbing her hips hard into his. Dawson bit his lip in pain and he rubbed his hip, a pained expression on his face as he watched Joey stride briskly to where Jen was still struggling with the tent. Jesus! One minute she was hot, the next cold…he realized he was staring intensely at her as she leaned down and started to pull apart Jen’s miserable attempts.

Pacey was smoothing out the tent on the ground, but was looking at Dawson, one eyebrow raised. He mouthed, “Trouble in paradise?”

“Fuck you.” Dawson mouthed back. And for the millionth time, he wished he could rewind his life back to that rainy, stormy night, and change everything. Or did he? The memories were so…they were like antiques now. Kept there forever, never to be spoken about again. The whispers, the dark, the soft silky skin…he would never feel it again…or experience her again. That was life. It was how it had to be…

****

The Witter camp- site was near a large creek, and miles of forest. “We should probably take a look around before it gets too late.” Pacey informed them all as they assembled on the hood of the car, hungrily tucking into food and drinks.

It had taken Joey and Jen an hour, but finally, the tent was up. It looked a little wonky, though, but Jen had claimed it looked fine.

“Walking around?” Joey complained.

“Why? Where? How?”

Pacey rolled his eyes.

“Joey, when people go camping, generally they go for walks, too.” He said in an exaggeratingly slow voice.

“Can we go swimming?” Jen asked, fanning her face. “Coz it’s starting to get warm here.”

Good. Thought Dawson. It’s not just me then. Damn, Joey had a good set of.…um…ears.

“Of course!” Pacey exclaimed. “Pacey’s Pond…that’s what I call it…is a couple miles down thatta way…” he hopped off the bonnet of the car excitedly.

“Come one! Lets go now!”

“Yeah!” Jen replied, jumping off, supporting herself by holding onto Dawson’s shoulders.

“Oh…but wait.” Jen said, frowning. “I didn’t bring my bathing suit with me!” Pacey’s eyes lit up even more and he sent Dawson a mischievous grin, his expression said, “Lucky you!”

She shrugged. “Oh well, I guess I can’t go swim…”

“Whoa-ho!” Pacey interrupted, circling an arm around Jen’s shoulder.

“There is…a world of people out there. Luckily for us, there’s no one around here.” He clucked his tongue. “You see what I’m saying Lindley? We don’t needswimsuits! The world is already filled with them!”

A smug smile formed on Jen’s face and she turned her eyes towards Pacey.

“Pacey…you little, horny devil!” she pinched his cheeks and pouted her lips at him, ignoring his pleas to be let go.

“He was kidding.” Dawson said hurriedly, laughing a little.

“No he wasn’t.” Jen said, flickering an eyebrow.

“And I’m…all for it!” She giggled, and winked at Dawson.

“How about you two?”

Joey’s expression was one of pure alarm, Dawson’s a mixture of arousal and…well, fear.

When neither of them answered for a moment, Pacey spoke up.

“I have an idea. How about we go swimming…say, tonight? When it’s dark?”

Night sounded far more ‘safe.’ So Joey and Dawson nervously agreed.

Jen settled herself in Dawson’s lap, and picked up her water bottle.

“Now that we’ve figured that out, what do you want to do now?”

“Sleep.” Joey said groggily, quickly sliding off the car. “I feel like I’m gonna be sick!”

She walked over to the tent, and Jen bit her lip in light concern.

****

Joey was thankful for her walk man, and the tape of assorted songs she had brought along with her. She was looking through her duffel bag to see if she had brought all she needed, and to find the paperback novel she had thrown in…”Where The Heart is,” to get her mind of certain issues. Bessie had done a lot of the packing, and thankfully she had also packed some aspirin. God bless her! Her fingers then brushed against something else. Picking them up, Joey went red and her jaw tensed. Damn Bessie! She threw them back in her bag, cringing. What on earth possessed her to pack…condoms? It wasn’t like she’d be having sex with anyone let alone Dawson who right now was…making out with Jen on the hood of Pacey’s car.

Perhaps she should lend them to Jen. She zipped shut the tent doors so she wouldn’t have to see the disgusting display, and lay back on her sleeping bag. After a thought or two, she sat up, and casting a look towards the entrance of the tent, reached over and plucked the visible cosmetics bag from Jen’s pack, and quietly unzipped it.

Toner…sunscreen…toothbrush…deodorant…perfume! Ugh, as if, what was she, a beauty queen? Joey sorted through piles of make-up till she reached the bottom, and sure enough…there they were. Three of them, just siting at the bottom, “Use Me pleeeazze,” written all over them it seemed. So Jen was planning to have sex with Dawson. Well, that was just great then! Joey zipped the bag back up and stuffed it back into Jen’s pack.

Lying back down she put on her headphones and closed her eyes. So what did that make her then? She was his first, his ‘practice’ post. Bastard. She still hated him, and wished she had elbowed him harder that afternoon then just that little wimpy nudge. He deserved the Grant treatment most definitely.

As for practice…well, Dawson didn’t really need any. A slow smile spread across her face and she wasn’t sure if it was the song that was playing, or remembering how his tongue had danced over her skin that was causing her to smile.

The book she was holding fell limply to the floor as she started to drift into dream land…

****

“Dawson…go wake up Joey.” Jen said, squinting her eyes as she considered what to make for dinner. It was 6:00pm…Joey had been sleeping for most of the day as the three of them had turned the little deserted shadowed area into a proper camp-site.

Pacey was hungry, and was playing around, pretending to be a slave as he walked around with a bowl on his head, knocking it with a wooden spoon.

“If this doesn’t wake Joey up I don’t know what will.” Pacey said loudly, then went back to his chanting, “Hey- nuh-nuh…”

Jen growled and made a killing motion with her hands, punching her fist into the open palm of her hand. Pacey looked stricken for a moment but it passed, and he continued on.

Dawson sighed, nodding and quietly went over to the girl’s tent. Luckily it was one you could unzip from the outside, so he gently pulled the zip up and parted the flaps, and stuck his head inside.

Joey was fast asleep, her body curled up in a little ball, and she was breathing softly. He gingerly crept in, shutting the flaps behind him and loomed over her, staring down at her beautiful face which was so…peaceful while she slept. Her usual smirk or snarl wasn’t in sight, and her lips were slightly parted.

“Jo…” he whispered, nudging her.

“Joey…time to wake up…” he said louder. She didn’t budge, her eyes stayed closed.

“Joey…honey,” he said, laughing softly.

“Time to get up…”

She murmured, but still her eyes stayed closed. A real sleeping beauty she was…

He lowered his face close to hers, and he shuddered. He could feel her warm breath tickling his face. Perhaps…perhaps just one kiss would wake her up. She wouldn’t even remember it… It would do no harm---

He placed his hands on her shoulders, and lowered his lips to hers, giving her a gentle, tender kiss. Immediately, she kissed back, her eyes still shut. She murmured something, and pressed him to her so he could feel the rapid beating of her heart. He lost himself completely in her, and succumbed to the exciting pressure of her mouth upon his.

Then suddenly, her eyes fluttered open, and she found herself staring at Dawson’s closed lids. “Dawson!” she hissed, placing her hands on his chest and pushing him off her.

“What are you doing?” she exclaimed.

“Um…waking you up.” He said sheepishly, shrugging.

“I…uh…tried everything else.”

Joey was speechless, and she sat up straighter, holding both her hands to her warm cheeks.

“You…you…just…keep away from me!” she finally spluttered. Dawson opened his mouth to speak but then…

“Joey! Dawson!” Jen barged into the tent, and laughing, fell into Dawson’s lap.

“Whoops! Good, you’re up. Jo, I need your opinion on food.”

“Yup, sure.” Joey said, and she slithered out of the tent, her cheeks almost ruby red.

“She was, um, fast asleep.” Dawson said, scratching his neck. He laughed nervously. “So I, uh it took time to wake her up.”

“Hmm.” Jen smiled, taking his hand in hers.

“Come on!”

****

It was almost pitch black at ten o clock that evening, when Pacey decided that it was time for all of them to go for a swim…be daredevils, “Live.” It was a fairly warm evening, so Jen dressed as minimally as possible. Even Joey noticed Jen looked great, like some sort of…jungle princess. Jesus, what happened to her floral dresses and pastel cardigans? She was wearing a wrap skirt, a tank-top and her hair was in a high ponytale. Joey was definitely more conservative…More boring, more…me she thought, in just a pair of shorts and an oversized t’shirt.

She snuck a look at Dawson, still not quite believing he had kissed her only meters away from Jen! Dawson was adjusting his towel over his shoulder as they walked along the grassy banks of the creek, Pacey on the lookout for a good spot, minimal animal/reptile/ area. The three behind him were reliant on the light from the torch he was shakily holding.

Finally, he let out a short yell of triumph, and ran over to where a white post was sticking out of the ground.

“This is it! This is Pacey’s pond! I was here last year, and to mark my place, stuck this fine thing right here.” He leaned on it, grinning proudly. Jen grinned as well and applauded his find. Several long wide trees surrounded the circle-shaped bit of water, which led out further to a bigger creek. It was the perfect place to swim…almost surreal. Pacey flipped off the torch he had been using, and everything went dark.

“Oooh.” Jen said loudly, grabbing Dawson’s hand. There was a splashing sound, and Joey realized that Pacey was in the creek, and Jen was knee deep along with Dawson who was slipping his shirt off with help from Jen. Joey swallowed, her eyes narrowing at the sight. She had done the exact same thing… “Come on Joey, you chicken?” Pacey yelled.

“No.” Joey replied, looking with dread at the dark water in which Pacey was floating in, clad only in his boxers.

“Yeah you are.” Pacey called. “And…ohhh no, it’s too cold to take off my big shirt!”

“Admit it Joey.” Dawson called out as well, wading in deeper, Jen behind him.

“You’ve always hated dark cold water…”

“I have not!” she retorted hotly.

“Okay guys…” Jen said, laughing. “Should I take my top off?”

Pacey wolf whistled and grabbed Jen, pulling her under as Dawson laughed.

“Stop it! You guys!” Jen shrieked, but loving it all the same as they started to splash her.

Joey at that moment felt extremely jealous, and angry at Dawson and Pacey for excluding her just because…because she hadn’t gotten into the water straight away.

Okay. So she’d do something about that. She’d surprise them all! She smiled smugly, and then, not caring who was watching her, slowly peeled off her top…revealing absolutely nothing underneath.

It was getting darker, and in those few short moment, she looked down to see she could barely even make out her breasts.

“You in yet—woah!” Dawson had turned away from Jen and Pacey’s splashing to see if Joey had made any progress. He stared open mouthed as she slowly made her way around the creek till she got to a log which had been cut down so it made a little bridge from one bank to the other.

Carefully stepping up on it, she guessed that it was not shallow but not exactly deep from where the three of them were standing nearby.

She casually dived in, letting out a rush of air when the cool water hit her bare top half, and soaked through her shorts.

“She made it! She’s in!” Pacey yelled at the top of his lungs, having not noticed her nearly-nudity. Jen cheered. “Yay! Finally Jo!” when Jen saw that Joey had bare shoulders when she finally surfaced, she didn’t think twice and pulled her top off too.

When Pacey saw that both Joey and Jen had bare shoulders he thanked the gods…”For sending me two beautiful, naked chicks!” He didn’t care that they were, well, Joey and his best bud’s girlfriend. Coz for tonight, they were all different people, all just human beings who liked…too…look at each other. Curious beings they were...

When Dawson saw that Joey and Jen had bare shoulders, he hoped Pacey could control himself…and he hoped to dear god that he wouldn’t pounce on Joey, because that was the first thought that came to mind right then. Oh how incredibly…good it would feel, to make love to her in the water? To turn her angry features and indignant, “No’s!” to soft, barely audible moans and whimpers to keep going…

But fucking Joey in front of Jen and Pacey probably wasn’t such a good idea. Mr. Frisky thought it was, though, and he winced, carefully making sure he didn’t stand too close to Jen.

“It’s no big deal.” Joey said, rolling her eyes and making sure the water submersed up to her neck. One look at Dawson and she could just tell she was giving him a hard time. She almost cackled evilly out loud…oh this was just too good.

“I’m…going to go down a little bit.” She said airily.

“Okay…” Pacey said awkwardly. “But don’t go too far…I don’t want to have to haul you back in a body bag!”

Joey turned and started swimming further down, enjoying the sensation of the water all over her body.

“How…about, I um, go after her.” Dawson suggested as casually as possible.

“And…I really want to…you know, apologize for the fight that we had, earlier.” He had rehearsed the lines in his head, and hoped to god Jen would buy them.

“Well okay…” Jen started to reply, but Dawson just smiled and started swimming fast to catch up with Joey, who was now going round a bend.

“Go after him.” Pacey suggested quietly when he sensed how uncomfortable Jen was as she watched her boyfriend swim after Joey.

“No.” Jen then replied calmly.

“I trust Dawson with all my heart, and I’ve had it up to here with their petty argument.” She smiled wryly. “Hopefully when they come back they’ll be better friends…”

“Okay.” Pacey said, nodding.

“So…let’s play 20 questions or something!”

Jen grinned. “Sure!”

Jen started to think or what she was going to choose, and Pacey closed his eyes. For some reason, it was starting to pain him to see how Dawson was...leading both Joey and Jen on. It was hard to say, but for the first time, Dawson was the bad guy. Pacey remembered how many times he had told Dawson to “Follow your head down there for once man!”

But now he regretted it, because this was what Dawson was doing, and he was hurting beautiful, smart, sweet Jen in the process.

Then. It hit Pacey like a ton of bricks. Of –fucking-course! His eyes widened as Jen exclaimed, “Got it!”

****

There wasn’t the sound of yelling, arguing or apologizing from where Dawson and Joey were standing, in the shadows, completely wrapped up in each other.

“Hmmm.” She moaned, her neck falling gracefully back as his fingers started to rub her nipples.

“You’re so beautiful…” he whispered. “So unbelievably beautiful…” his hot mouth left a trail of kisses down her neck, and the hand which wasn’t arousing her breasts was on her hip, inching down into her panties.

Neither of them were thinking about anything except how good it was feeling. The minute Dawson had placed his hand on her naked shoulder and she had turned around to face him, they were almost making love. Separated now only by her panties and his boxers, both were unaware that her shorts were slowly starting to drift downstream.

Two of his fingers slipped inside her, and she gasped hoarsely, clinging into him. This was almost…this was better then the first time.

“Where does it feel good?” he whispered in her ear, and she slipped her hand down to meet his. She guided his fingers to where she knew it would feel good, and he slowly and gently started to rub there. Her breathing was intensely labored as she bit into his wet neck softly, feeling the hot blissful pressure mounting…and mounting…until finally, she exploded, sharing desperate passionate kisses with him, whispering, “Thank you…thank you…”

“DAWSON! JOEY!” someone then started to yell. Quickly, they broke apart, breathing heavily.

“We’re…we’re here!” Dawson yelled back, his voice almost breaking as he stared at Joey with more passion in his eyes then ever before.

“There you are!” Jen called, and they turned to see her wading towards them, Pacey behind them.

“It’s getting late…and cooler. We think we should go.” Jen informed them.

“Okay.” Joey said, finally finding her voice after her incredible orgasm.

Then she frowned. Uh-oh. Where were her shorts?!

***

“Hmmmm.” Jen moaned, blowing on her melted marshmallow, which was oozing with liquid sugary insides.

She had redressed in a light sweater and jean shorts, and was leaning against Dawson by the fire Pacey had built rather proudly.

Joey was seated stiffly on the opposite side of Dawson, eating the marshmallows from the packet, and handing them to Pacey when he asked.

Dawson looked suspiciously at Pacey, who had been quiet for the past hour. This was…unusual. Pacey looked up and his eyes met with Dawson’s. But he gave no cheeky smile, nor did he flicker an eyebrow…or even mouth some remark. Instead, he shook his head and looked away.

Of course…Pacey was upset with him because he knew. He knew that he and Joey had been doing more then ‘apologizing’ about an hour ago. Heck, if Jen hadn’t interrupted they probably would have had sex right then and there.

He was lying to Jen. Every passing moment he spent, kissing Jen, having little talks with her while his shoulder and neck had Joey’s bite marks on them, he was cheating. Lying to her about them. Now he suddenly felt ashamed about going after Joey.

Joey let out a big yawn all of a sudden, and smiling lightly, careful not to meet Dawson’s eyes, stood up.

“I’m going to sleep…see ya…”

Jen then stood up too. “I’ll go too…I don’t wanna go all the way to the tent by myself!” she linked arms with a reluctant, surprised but extremely guilty Joey and they walked over to the tent.

Pacey waited until Jen and Joey were settled before moving closer to Dawson and speaking.

“Dawson…I get it,” He said simply.

“Huh?” Dawson replied.

“Okay.” Pacey sighed deeply.

“Jen’s just as gorgeous as Joey, just as sweet, just as cool.” He started off. Dawson took this into account…well yes, he was right…

“So why do you have more intense feelings for Joey all of a sudden? Hey, I know…maybe you’re in love with her, it just took a good fuck to make you see it!”

He finished. Dawson didn’t say anything for a long while.

“You could have easily had Jen.” Pacey then said. “But you were doing whatever-you-were-doing with Joey, and that says something. It is now more than a fling. And I think I know.” He lowered his gaze.

“You’re in love with Joey.”

TO BE CONTINUED…

HEART OF INNOCENCE

Part four, “Never Say a Word”

By Anne Gooding.

__________________________________________________________________________

“No.” Dawson shook his head. “Pacey you can say a lot of things about us, but…saying that is going way too far. I am not in love with Joey!” After a few moments of Dawson’s shocked silence, he had spoken up, quickly and sounding quite sure of himself about Pacey’s ridiculous statement…that he was in love with Joey.

But Pacey just laughed, shaking his head. “I have my ‘theories,’ Dawson, and this is probably one of my best ones.”

Dawson shook his head, making a sound between a dry chuckle and a snort of utter disbelief. “Love is…love is something that I…can’t analyze, love is something that is…well, untouchable. It isn’t all about sex…or sexual attraction…” Dawson cocked an eyebrow.

“What’s your definition of love, Pacey?”

Pacey took a deep breath and shrugged. “When you can’t stop thinking about the person. When you’re alone, you wish you were holding them. When they’re in your arms, you smell their hair. You dream about them…you don’t notice their imperfections all that much because they don’t matter to you.”

“Jesus Pacey, you could write a book.” Dawson laughed, despite himself. p>“Do you think you’re in love with Jen then, and Joey is just a sexual conquest and or feeling? What is Joey anyway? You have to figure it out….and there’s no doubt in my mind about what was happening back there…” Pacey asked quietly, his voice trailing off when he suddenly saw light in the girls tent and the sound of voices.

“Guys!” Jen wailed loudly. “We neeeed youu!”

“Huh?” Dawson muttered, still dazed about Pacey’s question.

“Why?” Pacey called back.

“Because it’s cold…. And dark…” Jen came out of the tent, grinning mischievously and beckoned them with her index finger.

“Come onnn…”

Both guys smiled politely at her but sat frozen in their spots.

Pacey wanted to keep on talking to Dawson, to perhaps knock some sense into his sometimes thick skull, and Dawson thought it was bad enough he had fingered Joey about two hours ago with his girlfriend only meters away, let alone sitting in the same tent with Joey and Jen and Pacey….he could only imagine the accusing glares from Pacey, Joey trying hard to avoid his gaze and Jen smiling seductively and holding his hand…She was so sweet, so beautiful…why did he have to hurt her like this? For what seemed now like just a quick grope with Joey?

Dawson suddenly realized why Pacey was so pissed off.

“Okay.” Pacey replied loudly, then sighed softly.

“Come on….your women need you…” he cracked dryly. Dawson frowned. “Ha, Ha.”

Pacey sighed. Great, how great. Two girls, both hot, and both were smitten with his best friend.

“Oh yeah and bring the marshmallows!” Jen called, stepping back into the tent.

“Move all your stuff Jo…” she giggled, sitting down. Now this was the best part…all four of them together, cozy and warm…completely comfortable with each other. Now that was friendship.

Dawson who was last in zipped down the tent, and was instantly welcomed into the warmth of the closed in area. It wasn’t that cold a night so the heat was a little surprising. He sat down next to Jen, who immediately cuddled into his lap, snatching the bag of marshmallows from him.

“Jesus!” Pacey exclaimed, looking around the cluttered tent.

“This is like a fucking chain-store compared to Dawson and I’s prison tent.”

“It’s all Jen’s stuff.” Joey spoke up, she was still trying to get comfortable as she moved bags and pillows around. Eventually she ended up seated practically in Pacey’s lap.

“Okay.” Jen spoke up. “So who’s had fun today?” she smiled broadly.

“I remember seeing two glum faces before we left…what are your feelings about being alone for two days now Joey and Dawson?”

“Uh…” “Umm…” both Joey and Dawson struggled to come up with a reasonable answer.

“I haven’t been here long…it’s no big deal but I guess it’s relaxing.” Joey finally answered, smiling and starting to drag a brush through her long hair. Dawson’s arms squeezed around Jen and he sniffed her hair, making sure Pacey saw.

It smelt nice…like raspberries or something. But he found himself staring at Joey as she brushed out her silky brown hair. Her hair had always been beautiful, but only recently had he noticed it…and the scent of her hair, which was so uniquely hers. He couldn’t describe it, but it was mellow, yet rich…

When you can’t stop thinking about the person. His eyes connected with her deep brown eyes. She raised her eyebrow slightly, giving him a cool look, her eyes showing no emotion.

“Marshmallow?” Jen asked, shoving the packet in his face.

“No thanks…” he smiled. “You’re sweet enough!” Pacey smirked and Joey did a subtle eye roll.

Jen reached back and kissed him tenderly, her hand reaching for something inside her bag. Dawson tried to lose himself in her quick tender kiss, to feel that spark he always got when their lips touched, that little flutter of excitement. But he just felt confused, like someone was twisting his heart like a sponge, draining all feeling out.

“Look what else I bought.” Jen smiled, breaking away from him and holding up a bottle of wine. Pacey’s eyes lit up.

“Ooh…I knew we need to add something to our list…we had sex, we had dares, and now we have booze!”

Jen didn’t notice Pacey’s stare at Dawson as she worked the bottle open. “This is good stuff.” She remarked, and she handed it to Pacey after she had a small drink, and he took a swig.

“Hmmm…” he agreed, nodding, and he handed it to Dawson who hesitated before taking a drink.

He then handed it to Jen but she shook her head.

“Give it to Jo now.”

Sure he mentally slapped himself and passed it to her. She shook her head quickly.

“No thanks.” She said sharply.

“Why not?” Jen asked curiously.

“I…I just don’t feel like it.” Joey replied weakly, not in the mood to give Jen one of her sharp comebacks. Come to think of it, she hadn’t snapped back to Jen all weekend. Must be the guilt.

“Fine, okay.” Jen said brightly, snatching the bottle back from a reaching Pacey. “All the more for us!”

Soon it got too hot in the tent, so they moved out and sat around the failing fire. Pacey and Jen were both obviously drunk as they were now talking and laughing extremely loudly about those funny little green and red men on those poles which tell you when to or not to cross the road.

Dawson was unusually quiet, but he was kept busy by Jen who kept wanting to make out with him every fifteen minutes, and Pacey took this opportunity to have a few more sips of wine from the second bottle Jen had bought. The first one had been drained empty.

Joey sat on the log, her arms around her knees which were under her chin, feeling pissed off and sick as she watched Jen and Dawson slobber all over each other. Was he doing that just to keep Jen from finding out about them? Did he really feel anything? Did he love Jen? What was she to him, to anyway… but the feeling of jealousy overtook all those other little nagging feelings. She knew for sure that right now, all she wanted to do was to curl up next to his warm body…feel his strong arms around her, his lips on hers, for him to whisper in her ear what she longed to hear…

Joey’s heart started to beat faster as she realized something, and that something she had to tell Dawson. She had to know. Not tomorrow, not in the near future…tonight. Soon…now. Joey had noticed that due to about three hours of drinking and having loads of energy, Jen and Pacey were getting drowsy.

“Hmmm…” Jen sighed, her eyes closing as she lay her head against the log, not caring that it was hard and probably sticking into her scull. Pacey was dozing on the log, stretched out he had finally put the bottle down and his star gazing had been lessened to gazing in his dreams. Dawson was staring up at the sky, his eyes still open thankfully.

Joey chuckled a little looking at Pacey and Jen…it was like the curse of Sleeping Beauty or something. Her palms were sweaty and she still felt a little sick, but she had to do it.

Quietly creeping over to Dawson, she tapped him on the shoulder.

“We need to talk.” She said in a low voice.

“Hmm?” Dawson murmured, his eyes blinking. Joey helped him up by the cuff of his shirt and led him a little way down, still in the light of the fire so they could see each other.

“Well? What?” Dawson asked, still looking as if he was in a trance.

Joey took a deep breath. “Well…this may come as a shock…or maybe not, but I have to say it. I have to finally just say it because…I can’t keep it in any longer.” Dawson’s eyebrows both raised questioningly, and she continued, shakily.

“Dawson, I think I’m in love with you.” She said meekly. “And I want to know how you feel about me…” her voice trailed off as she looked into his eyes, which earlier on that evening were brimming with intense passion and fire, only for her.

But now they were dark, and almost splintery. She started to feel very nervous. She had laid her feelings out on the table, and now she was completely vulnerable to the next five or more words he was to say.

“Look, Joey—“ he started to say, not looking away from her face but not looking directly at her—his gaze was almost on the tree behind her. “I don’t know how to say this…so I guess I’ll just be blunt.” He shrugged, and Joey’s heart stopped.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same way.” He spoke gently, but strongly, his breath warm and smelt of liqueur she could feel and smell on her inflamed face.

“That night…when we were alone and we had sex--- that was just….in Pacey’s words, a good fuck.” Scratching his ear he paused before continuing.

“Tonight? That was just fooling around. It meant shit.” He stroked her cheek, smiling slightly, gazing at her thoughtfully. “What gave you the idea I might…be in love with you Jo?” Joey swallowed hard. She had to deal with this, he was obviously perhaps a little drunk---but did drunks always say what they didn’t mean…or what they truthfully felt but had been too scared to admit? Being drunk was sometimes just one big Freudian slip, right?

“But don’t worry Jo, you’re a good lay. It’s not like you were bad, though you didn’t do much. But you’re good, with amazing breasts…” he rambled on, his voice tone somewhere between patronizing, calm and a little shaky.

Joey’s eyes were stinging hotly, brimming with tears. Her chin quivered and she stepped back, shaking her head. “You don’t mean that---you can’t just say that! You weren’t just using me!” she exclaimed desperately. “It was more.”

“It was nothing!” Dawson interrupted loudly, slashing his hand through the air to illustrate his point. “Did you really think I’d dump Jen for you?” he continued loudly.

“Well, I didn’t know WHAT to think!” she yelled back at him. “But why didn’t you figure out your god damned feelings earlier? Why did you…” she stopped, trying with all her might to keep a firm grip on her tears. Her fists which were clenched shook.

“Why are you saying this to me?” she finished, and tears started to stream freely down her cheeks. “Do I mean nothing to you?”

“Look, Joey…” He said quietly, gripping her shoulders to steady her.

But with an angry yelp she tore away from him, and reeling back she gave him a huge slap, square across the face. “I hate you. Don’t go near me again.” She hissed.

Startled with the force, he stumbled back slightly and Pacey and Jen awoke from the loud sharp sound of Joey’s strike and her yelling. Joey ran away, struggling to keep down the sobs threatening to break from her body.

“Holy shit what happened between you too?” Pacey exclaimed.

“Wha? What?” Jen said groggily, struggling to stand up.

“Nothing.” Dawson said bitterly, holding his face.

“I’m tired. I’m hitting the sack.” He walked slowly to his tent, swallowing hard, ignoring the pounding pain on his cheek.

What the fuck had just happened back there? His mind was racing and everything was going all bleary. Falling onto his sleeping bag he closed his eyes, and fell asleep almost straight away, Joey’s sobs echoing in his mind, and they found their way into his dreams…

***

“Joey? Joey what’s wrong? Jesus, I can barely fucking see!” Jen complained, clumsily closing the flaps to the tent in the pitch-black darkness, and not bothering to change out of her jeans and shirt slid into her sleeping bag.

Joey had her head buried in her pillow and she refused to speak, but she stifled her sobs and tried hard to fall asleep. She was exhausted after all, and sleeping meant not having to be consciously around such an asshole…and the problems she seemed to be quaked with.

Tomorrow she’d beg Pacey to drive them home, and then she would never speak to Dawson Leery again. It was one thing to quietly say that he didn’t share her feelings…but to…but then why? Why did he make love to her if he knew he had a girlfriend? Why did he do that to her in the creek when they both knew it was a mistake? Why was he only telling her now? So it was true. She was just a sexual play thing, and that was all she’d ever be, probably to every living male thing for the rest of her god forsaken life. She knew that sometimes sex and relationships and all that were just simple flings a lot of the time, but it was hard trying to accept it this time. Her feelings for him were so much more stronger then those of a fling.

But it was her own stupid fault. She was the one who had kissed him. She had let him get carried away. When he lay her down on his familiar bed in the dark, she hadn’t struggled. Not saying a word and only emitting a few murmurs, she had let him slip her clothes off, and lose control on her, inside her. And why was she only now realizing the ramifications of what they had done? Sex and best friends…they did not mix. She should have at least learned the fact from all the movies she and Dawson had watched over the years. She was getting drowsy, and before she knew it she was asleep.

****

“Uh, Joey…” Pacey said sheepishly. “We can’t go today.”

“What?” Joey said, her head snapping up.

“Why not?”

It was ten o clock, and Pacey sat down on one of the folding chairs he had bought alone, ripping apart a bread roll.

“Look, I know how desperate you are to leave…because…um,” he hung his head, not quite sure what to say. He had asked Dawson what had happened the night before and Dawson, who couldn’t quite remember but knew he had said something horrible to her, had warned him not to get involved, then had fallen asleep again. Now Pacey didn’t feel too cocky or smug. His friend’s little adventure into the world of sexual liberation was going badly. And now not only had he and Joey ruined whatever relationship they were going to have, but now their friendship seemed to be doomed too.

“Well, whatever. But I’m sorry, you’ll just have to wait one more night.”

“Why?” she shrieked.

“Because.” Pacey said simply, kind of liking the control he had over the usually rough and tough ‘I’ll do whatever the fuck I want,’ Joey.

“I said we have a nice camping trip for two nights, we have a nice camping trip for two nights.”

“Nice my ass.” Joey seethed.

“I want to go home, NOW.”

“Well I don’t.” Pacey pointed out. “This is my ‘vacation.’ Too, and two nights away from the Witter-house-from-hell is just what I need.”

He stamped his foot down, laughing inwardly. “That’s final!” he snapped, nodding his head and doing the Hitler sign.

“You’re such an ass. Both you, and that fuck-head Dawson are both idiots.” Joey said quietly.

“Joey.” Pacey said even quieter. “He was drunk. I’m just being sensible. Give us a chance. IN fact, why not talk to the guy? He feels like shit!”

“Fine.” She just said simply, ignoring his last comment. “I’ll wait until you’re ready to leave. But when we do get back to Capeside, I’m going to make both your lives a living hell.”

Dawson then chose that moment to miraculously descended from his tent, looking like hell as he rubbed his eyes and groaned sleepily. His hair was all disheveled and he had on a thin white shirt and boxers, and a towel was slung over his shoulder. He looked like some guy in a shower gel commercial, Pacey mused. He saw Joey’s eyes widen and she quickly turned on her heel and hurried into her tent where Jen was still sleeping soundly.

“I told her we weren’t going back until tomorrow.” Pacey said tiredly. Dawson nodded, biting his lip and shaking his head slightly.

“Look, man, you have got to talk to her. Apologize for whatever the hell you said because she’s angrier then I’ve probably ever seen.”

“I know, I know.” Dawson said drowsily, smacking his forehead.

“Damn, damn, DAMN!”

****

“Joey.” Jen whispered as she got dressed a few minutes later.

Joey looked at her suspiciously, wondering why she was whispering.

“Can I ask you something?” Jen continued.

Joey shrugged, and turned the page of her book.

“Can you steer Pacey away from me and Dawson today? Can you like, do something with him?”

Jen giggled. “Fuck him or something. It’s just I want Dawson and myself to be alone today.”

Joey nearly choked. Who did Jen think she was? Some sexual slave? Jesus Christ!

“Whatever.” She mumbled. “But I’m not going to abide by your suggestion.”

“I was kidding.” Jen said, spraying on some perfume. Joey coughed a little, wrinkling up her nose at the strong scent.

“But then Joey, it wouldn’t be such a bad idea.” Jen continued thoughtfully.

Joey raised both her eyebrows.

“I’m gathering you’re a virgin, right?” Jen asked softly, smiling at Joey as if she was a little girl, reaching into her bag for her hairbrush.

Joey didn’t know how to answer that. Half of her wanted to say, “No…Dawson isn’t either. Add two and two together and what do you get?” or some other lame-ass comeback similar to ones she had told Jen before. Embarrassed, she realized that Jen probably could tell she had been a virgin the moment she laid eyes on her. But she was different now.

Joey replied her normal way, scrunching up her face in disgust at Jen’s question, which was digging around in Joey’s personal space.

Jen laughed lightly and help up both her palms in defense.

“Sorry Jo. Just thought you might like some advice. I mean, we’re all alone, Pacey is gorgeous and if our calculations are correct about Dawson, think about Pacey…” she winked and jabbed at Joey’s sides with her elbow. Joey gave her the dirtiest look imaginable and Jen took the hint, sidling away and finishing her preparation in silence.

Then after a moment Joey spoke. “So you really do believe in all that hand business?” She asked casually. Jen smiled, and turned towards Joey eagerly. Yay! Another girlie bonding moment.

“Oh, yeah.” Jen said, nodding. “But then when I think about it, if a guy’s fingers are longish his thing isn’t always of that…size.” She waggled her eyebrows and Joey couldn’t help chuckling at Jen’s silly observations of these things about guy’s…things.

“It won’t be long before I find out about Dawson.” Jen said softly, and she nudged Joey. “If you make the next move you can do the same with Pacey. And I‘ll report back to you tomorrow.”

Joey nearly gagged with contempt for Jen right then, and the whole ironic and sordid situation.

Jen didn’t need to bloody report back to Joey, she had gotten there first and although she hadn’t taken a ruler out, from the feel of it she was sure it was above average. And what girl in their right mind would just jump into bed with some guy because another girl wants to find out his size?

She had, underneath her hate for blondie, always thought Jen was at least smart. And this behavior was about as far away from smart as she could get.

“See ya Jo.’ Jen then said cheerily, and patted her newfound ‘friend,’ on the shoulder. She slipped out of the tent and left Joey to stew.

****

“Joey, about what I said…I was drunk, I don’t even remember it!” Dawson hissed quickly to Joey as she reached into a bag and pulled out a small carton of juice she had bought a few minutes later. She had been thirsty, and had decided not to run away when Dawson had approached her. He was right, they needed to talk. He was quite keen to make peace between them before anything else could be discussed.

Joey looked behind her and saw Jen talking quietly and teasingly to Pacey by the fire. Turning back to her juice and to Dawson, she shrugged.

“I guess I overreacted but that doesn’t mean I’m not hurt…that I’m not still feeling the way I did last night.” She whispered back quickly.

“Well what can I do about that?” Dawson started to say frostily, but was cut off when Jen approached them.

“Come on Dawson.” She said brightly. “Lets go for a walk!”

He smiled at her, nodding. “Sure.” He let himself be lead away by Jen, not turning back.

Joey threw down the carton and closed her eyes in frustration. One minute they were avoiding each other, the next making out, now fighting. Would it ever end?

****

TO BE CONTINUED…

HEART OF INNOCENCE

Part five, “Kissing You.”

By Anne Gooding. ____________________________________________________________________________

By the time Jen and Dawson strolled back to camp it was around four o clock and getting darker. Joey, who had finished her book about an hour ago was fast asleep on the ground by the burnt out fire, her arms shading her face from the sun.

Pacey who had gone for several swims, was now rifling through the stack of magazines Jen had bought, he liked Cosmopolitan the best.

“Shit! How long does it take to have a walk?” Pacey asked loudly as soon as he spotted them.

“As long as it takes.” Jen said, smiling brightly and plopping down on the log, fanning her hair out.

Dawson, whose expression was mixed with tension and a faraway look, nearly stumbled on top of a sleeping Joey as he went to sit down. “Oops…sorry.” He mumbled, looking down at her with what looked like tenderness in his eyes as he watched her. Pacey watched this scene with interest.

So…what had happened out there? Jen was smiling broadly, and Pacey wondered if her face hurt. Dawson however looked kind of…subdued. He carefully stepped over Joey and sat down on the log next to Jen, giving Pacey a faint smile.

“Have fun?” Pacey asked, his eyes asking more questions then that. Dawson nodded slightly, his eyes revealing what had happened. Pacey bit his lip in utter surprise and he shook his head in disbelief before replying, “Good.” Over-sexed in one weekend! Pacey couldn’t believe it but Dawson had been laid by two different girls in a span of around four days! When they got back to Capeside he was giving him a medal.

“It’s hot.” Jen whined, fanning her face with her hand.

“I am so in the mood for a swim…what do you say Dawson? Pacey?” she looked over at Joey. “Joey?”

Joey stirred but didn’t awake.

“I’ll go.” Pacey said, getting up and throwing Cosmo down. “I don’t mind having a third dip.”

Jen looked pointedly at Dawson.

“Um…I think I’ll stay.” He said casually, yawning.

“And…just sit here. I’m tried.”

Jen nodded, rolling her eyes. “Fiiine.” She kissed Dawson quickly then a few moments later, left with Pacey.

As soon as they were out of sight, Dawson dropped his polite expression and it was overcome with one of utter confusion. He put his head in his hands, groaning.

“What’s up with you? Jenny yank your chain and you didn’t like it?” Joey asked sarcastically. So…she had been faking sleep all along.

Dawson looked sharply at her. “Joey,” he warned her.

“No, come on.” Joey said in a slightly more softer tone.

“You can tell me.” she looked away from him. “I’m still your best friend. Lay it all on me.”

Dawson heaved a huge sigh and Joey got off the ground and joined him on the log, actually interested but dreading what he might say.

“Yeah.” Dawson finally said, flatly.

“Jen and I….did it.”

“Oh.” Joey nodded, feeling queasy and her eyes started to sting. But she willed those tears away and she remained calm.

“Well what’s wrong?” she then asked, and subconsciously lay her hand on his knee.

“It’s complicated. You might not get it.” He said, staring down at her hand.

“Believe me. I can get anything.” Joey said under her breath.

“It was fine. The…you know bit was good.” Dawson then said, looking up at the sky.

“But afterwards it hit me. It hit me really hard, harder then your little job last night.”

Joey waited for him to continue.

“It wasn’t the same.” Dawson whispered, and he turned to face her, his hand now holding hers.

He looked pained. “I had hoped that after Jen and I did it I would realize that I was well and truly in love with her…and that you were just a little fling.”

Joey bit her lip.

“But…it was nothing. It felt like nothing. I couldn’t…feel anything.” He hung his head. “I had at one stage pretended she was you.” Joey felt like all the air in her body had been knocked out.

Dawson then abruptly moved away from her.

“I’m finished.” He sighed, raking a hand through his hair in distress.

“Sorry for my…stupid emotional spill.” He said bitterly.

Joey was speechless. But eventually, she regained her voice.

“It’s…it’s okay.” She said breathlessly, almost weakly.

Did he love her? Did he…did he feel the same way? Joey’s heart was beating so hard against her ribcage she thought it should explode.

“Thanks.” Dawson said, weakly. “Sorry If I embarrassed you.”

“Umm, no.” Joey said, her mouth still agape. Slowly, she started to get up.

“Where are you going?” he asked, suddenly placing a hand on her wrist and pulling her back down.

“Leave me alone.” She said, almost laughing and she tore his hand off.

“Sorry.” He said, gripping her hands. She tried to get out of his grip…she couldn’t do this right now. She couldn’t be so near him. It turned into a bit of a struggle, and she giggled in amazement. They were having a little friendly struggle all of a sudden?

Then suddenly, one of his arms was wrapped around her, holding her unbelievably too close. It wasn’t just friendly anymore. They stared at each other, hands still entwined. Then he kissed her, and she immediately kissed back. It was a long, lingering, tender and passionate kiss, which grew into a fierce hungry one. Tugging at each other’s clothes, all she could hear was the blood pounding in her ears, and her heart beating as much as his. His hand was warm on the skin of her thigh, and their tongues mingled together in a battle of unspoken passion.

One hand was in her hair, stroking her neck then her breast, cupping one softly and causing her nipples to peak as she rubbed her hand over his chest and back. The log was hard and uncomfortable all of a sudden, Dawson and Joey were twisted around each other, their kisses picking up speed and desperation.

She could read his mind, his hands….he wanted to make love to her. Almost as if in synch, he whispered what he wanted to do to her in her ear and a hand disappeared under her shirt. She was fast losing control, especially when thoughts of the two of them, naked and moving against each other under the late afternoon sun on the log entered her mind. And Jen…coming back to camp…and gasping when she saw her beloved boyfriend pounding into a moaning Joey.

She shuddered violently. “Your tent.” She then whispered. The log probably wouldn’t be too comfortable.

“Hmm.” He replied, tugging her up and lifting her into his arms. Half laughing and half gasping she clung onto his neck, her insides bubbling with anticipation. Pushing into the tent, he deposited her onto his sleeping bag, and zipped the tent flaps shut. When he turned to Joey, neither wasted time. He whipped her shirt off, and got even more aroused when he saw she was wearing no bra. Rolling onto the one side of the tent together, they kissed and kissed, hungrily and feverishly. As Dawson took one of her nipples into his mouth, she worked his pants down , seeing he had already gotten quite hard.

“Hurry.” She gasped, arching her hips so the taking down of her shorts could be done with more ease and with more speed. Joey didn’t think she had ever been more turned on in her entire life. If Dawson didn’t make love to her soon he’d regret it. Finally sinking into her, he found her deliciously warm and wet, and his eyes didn’t leave hers.

Wrapping her legs around him she rubbed his back, then ventured down lower as he started to dive into her, kissing her chin as her head was thrown back in pleasure. This was so much different to the first time…faster, more erotic and this time Joey was well on her way to having an orgasm. Moving her arms back she clutched a pillow which was above her head, and slammed her hips harder into his, her gasps getting louder and louder and turning into cries. They moved together fluently, sounds of pleasure emitted from both of them. Finally, the pressure down below and on her clit was just too much. She let go of all her inhibitions and came, her eyes closed, cooing and moaning his name, “Dawson…ohh…” as she rode through those blissful, strong waves.

His strokes slowed down, and he pulled out, coming all over her stomach and on the sleeping bag. He collapsed onto her, burying his head in her neck, murmuring her name, amazed he had the control not to come inside of her.

“I love you.” He then said softly, raising his head and stroking her hair. His eyes were glowing, and only for her. Saying that sounded…so right.

“I love you too.” She replied, her voice nearly breaking as she caressed his cheek.

Tears then started to flood out of her eyes, from the aftershock of having an orgasm so strong, from being wrapped up in his arms, the overwhelming relief of saying, “I love You.” And it being returned.

He kissed her tears away.

****

“So tell me Jennifer.” Pacey called, as he waded into the cold water.

“What did you and Mr. Dawson Leery do for all that time?” he raised an eyebrow.

Jen splashed her face with water and couldn’t help but smile.

“Pacey…we just went for a very long walk, talked a lot…then…around twelve…” she shrugged.

“It’s none of your business, anyway.” She smirked. “But I know that I’m in love…and so is he.” She hugged herself with glee.

“All my life I have searched and searched for something like this…you know? And finally I have it…” she shook her head, smiling dreamily.

“No one will take it away from me. I’m happy.”

Pacey smiled at her, but swallowed. Did Dawson feel the same way? Right now, the last thing he wanted was to see Jen get hurt. She was so hopeful, so in love, so trusting.

****

“Do you have any tissues?” Joey asked, smirking slightly a few moments later when Dawson got off her and reached for his clothes.

Dawson rolled his eyes, and blushed slightly.

“Uh…Pacey does.”

Joey sat up, her shoulders hunching over a little.

“I don’t even want to know why.” Joey said under her breath, taking the box from him, both were quiet, and Joey turned away from him as she cleaned off, her skin slowly going pink. A smile was set on her face the entire time though.

“We better hurry, um, they’ll be back soon.” Dawson then said quietly. Joey froze in the act of buttoning her shirt. Her smile was wiped off her face. Damn…Jen.

“Dawson?” Joey said, turning, leaving a few buttons undone and climbing into his lap.

“Hmmm?” he murmured, brushing her lips with his.

“What are you going to do about Jen?”

“I don’t know.” He answered truthfully.

“I….”

“We’re back!” Pacey suddenly yelled .

Dawson and Joey froze.

“I’ll go out first.” Dawson hissed. She nodded, and quickly cupped his face to kiss him before he exited the tent. Looking around, Joey savored the smell of sex, the rumpled sleeping bags, the tissues stuffed in the corner of the tent.

Sighing, she straightened things out, and stuffed the tissues in Dawson’s bag. Eyes splintering, she took out his cologne, and quickly dabbed a small amount on the back of her ears.

Humming softly to herself, she waited until Dawson had Jen facing the other way before she slid out quietly, still humming. She was in love.

****

Out of the corner of his eyes, Dawson watched Joey sneak back into her own tent, cheeks flushed, lips swollen. He sighed dreamily. Quickly looking back at Jen and Pacey who were telling him about how they had seen a snake, he wondered idly if Pacey could tell what he and Joey had been up too. If you looked closely, you might be able to tell. He was practically glowing, and whistling under his breath. He was in love…

TO BE CONTINUED.

HEART OF INNOCENCE

Part six, “He’s everything.”

By Anne Gooding.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Dawson and Joey had never been able to get past Pacey with anything, so of course, the minute he had walked into his tent he had known what they had done just by looking at the rumpled sheets, and Dawson’s guilty, ‘I’m hiding something,’ expression.

“Damn, Dawson.” Pacey had exclaimed, starting to pack up his bag.

“Do you need a freaking leash? How about I pin a neon sign on Joey, “Come and get it boys,” or lock her in a fucking chastity belt! You can’t keep your hands off the poor girl! And if I’m not mistaken, you and Jen did some heavy getting to know you exercises only a few hours ago! This is…”

Dawson had shut him up, not wanting to talk to Pacey about anything that afternoon. It was now seven o clock at night, and they were nearly in Capeside. Jen was asleep in his lap, Joey asleep up front. He hadn’t been able to close his eyes at all…he just couldn’t stop thinking. If he thought things were bad before, well, now they were one hundred percent worse.

Dawson wished for the one thousandth time that he could rewind his life back to that fateful night, and keep his stupid hands off her! Then none of this would have…wait. No, Dawson wished he could rewind his life back to the moment Jen walked into his life…so he could not fall for her so fast, so he could not hurt her like this. Was it possible to be in love with two girls? Surely not.

Looking down at Jen’s sweet face, he felt an overwhelming sensation of guilt and reluctance wash over him, and affection for this girl who had changed his life so much. How could he ever hurt her? Having sex with her was a short but nice ordeal, she was very experienced. But he had felt as though something was missing, and shamefully he had closed his eyes, thinking it was Joey kissing him, not Jen.

Was he uncomfortable with her experience? Did he find making love to Joey easier… better, because he was doing it, he was teaching her… Sex definitely had something to do with how attracted you were to that person, how much you loved them. Now he just had to figure out which girl he truly was in love with…

**** 3 days later…

Dawson lay there, thinking about all the events that had taken place. The camping trip…that night when it all began. After thinking about it again he realized that it didn’t even seem to make much more sense.

Joey stirred, and her eyes opened.

“Hi.” She whispered drowsily, arching her back like a cat and slowly settling onto him, her elbows on either side of his chest.

“Hi.” He whispered back, kissing her tenderly.

“It’s getting late…will Bessie…”

“No…” Joey giggled. “Dawson, I’m sleeping over, remember?”

“Ahhh yes.” He said throatily, nuzzling her neck.

“Something tells me we won’t be doing much sleeping.” He whispered, his hand sliding down the sheet which lay on her.

“Hmmm…Dawson…again?” Joey said in disbelief, letting him flip her over so she was beneath him. He hovered over her, and she rubbed his forearms, then slid her hands down his chest, sucking on his lower lip delicately.

Dawson grinned, and Reaching down, pulled the sheets up and over them, and her moans were muffled out.

****

Jen knew it was crazy, but she had to go and see him…right now. The ladder had been kicked down for some strange reason…that’s right, last time she had checked Joey and Dawson’s friendship was on the rocks. Luckily, the back door was unlocked. Quietly creeping in, Jen tiptoed across the kitchen and then made her way upstairs, planning out how she was to wake him. Maybe she’d climb into bed with him….naked. She chuckled a little.

Reaching Dawson’s door, she slowly and gently pushed it open, relieved his parents hadn’t woken up.

She slipped in, and shut it behind her, facing the bed.

Then she froze.

Moonlight was streaming through the open window, illuminating two naked bodies wrapped half up in wet sheets. The two bodies moved together rapidly, and a brunette’s head fell back against the side of the bed, moaning and murmuring just one name…”Dawson…” Her naked leg was pressed against his hairy one, his head was nuzzled between her breasts, his hands gripped her buttocks firmly and the sheet which had been covering them slipped off slightly.

Joey and Dawson were having what looked like hot, passionate sex on his bed, right in front of her very eyes.

“Dawson.” Jen then spoke up, her voice choked with anger and bitterness.

Joey and Dawson both turned their heads sharply to face Jen’s figure looming above them, her face a mixture of shock, sadness, disgust and anger.

Their mouths fell open and they both froze.

“Jen.” Dawson said breathlessly, his face flushing redder then it was before.

“Oh my god…”

“I cannot believe this.” Jen said, her voice trembling with rage.

“All along! All along it was the two of you! Dawson…what did I do wrong?”

“Nothing.” He said desperately, and he climbed off Joey, quickly fumbling for the pants Joey had thrown near the doorway that afternoon.

Joey got up too, and dressed faster then she ever had before. Without a word she ran out, clutching her shoes to her chest.

“What a lying, mean, conniving bitch.” Jen seethed loudly, watching Joey go.

“And you…Dawson! How fucking could you? You bastard!” Jen screeched.

“So all along you and Joey are fucking, and you decide to drag me along on the ride of sexual conquests? It’s not like that! I am not a whore, least of all yours!” she spat at him.

“It is nothing like that.” He said sharply.

“It’s been just as hard and confusing for me!”

Jen clenched her fists and rearing back, gave him the biggest slap imaginable.

“Confusing my ass!” she nearly yelled. “And hard?? Do you even KNOW how hard it was for me to see you and Joey sucking face in detention? Let alone see you fucking the bitch? And then there’s the idea that perhaps you two are involved and in love and all that bloody shit! Well I am not going to sit around and play the jealous girlfriend…Dawson tell me once and for all, what has and what is going on between you and Joey?!”

Dawson was silent, he looked down at the floor, not having a clue what to say but only knowing he deserved this and more.

“Dawson. You can tell me now that whatever the FUCK that was, was just nothing, or I will walk out of here and I will never speak to your sorry-ass again…and I’ll make your little best friend pay, too!” she hissed.

“And I also want to know how you gathered up the wits to break her stupid cherry! I want answers, and I want them now!” right now, her rage about Dawson even thinking about having sex with that trash was bigger then the fact he lied to her and cheated on her.

“I love her.” He spluttered out.

“I am so fucking in love with her!” he said again, louder, staring straight into Jen’s eyes.

“I am so sorry Jen. I never meant to purposely hurt you at all. I care for you deeply. But…I found a love that was real….and I can’t throw it away. But Jen, I know you need me and I need you…please, let’s just talk this out.”

“Talk?” Jen said weakly.

“I never want to speak to you again.” Running blindly out, she ignored his pleas.

****

Tossing and turning, all Jen could see was Joey, her face etched in ecstasy as Dawson pounded into her, clutching her close to him…did Joey make Dawson feel more whole then she had ever done? Did Dawson put his heart into pleasuring Joey? More tears slipped down her cheeks.

Right now, she hated both of them more then she had ever hated anyone in her entire life. How could they have hurt her like this? The pain was like someone dicing up her heart. She had already been through so much…this felt like the complete and utter end. She’d get her revenge.

**** Crying into her hands, Joey stopped running and sat down heavily on the dock. She could hear Jen screaming from his room. Too exhausted from the sex, the drama and now the agony, which plagued her entire body, Joey started to cry even harder. She also felt embarrassed Jen had seen the two of them in such a private, personal and wonderful moment.

Making love to him was now so wonderful…it didn’t hurt at all, and she craved his touch day and night. For the past three nights she had sneaked into his room either late at night or early in the morning, and they had made love for hours, turning up to school bleary eyed but flushed and a bounce in their step. There was no doubt those three days would be the best in their history together.

But it would be different now. Jen had found out…and was feeling like shit. Dawson would probably feel so guilty, he and Joey would stop the midnight rendezvous’…and they would become but memories. But right now, she felt so guilty she decided the same thing. It had to stop. Sex was a surefire way of ruining a friendship, and it had already ruined Jen and Dawson’s relationship. Calming down some, but with tears still running down her cheeks, Joey climbed into her boat and rowed away.

*****

Dear Dawson, I’m writing this because if I say it to your face I won’t be able to get your expression out of my mind I’m sure. What we did was so bad. It hurt Jen within an inch of her life, and didn’t we always discuss that sex ruins friendships? I mean look at all those movies. Okay, so I can’t think of any right now but I’m sure you can. I do love you, how can I not? And maybe you love me too, but with time, we’ll grow out of it.

I am still your friend, and of course we’ll still talk. But I’m begging you not to bring this subject up, because if you do, I’ll walk away. I can’t sleep over anymore. It was great while it lasted…wonderful. See ya around.

Joey.

Dawson threw the note down angrily. Pacey picked it up and started to read it, and for once Dawson didn’t mind Pacey was sticking his nose into his affairs.

“You lost both of them, I see.” Pacey said quietly.

“I know.” Dawson replied bitterly.

“I hope you enjoyed your week of non-stop passionate sex.” Pacey said archly.

“Because something tells me you aren’t gonna get laid for a long time.”

“Shut up, Pacey.” Dawson said flatly, staring out the window. The wind ruffled his curtains and he wished Joey would climb through, smile, laugh, throw a remark at him.

But she didn’t.

TO BE CONTINUED…

HEART OF INNOCENCE

Part Seven/Seven “Sexual Healing”

By Anne Gooding

Authors note: This part is embarrassingly contrived! Ugh! But I promised I’d continue it, so here’s part seven, the end.

Rating: R

Summary: The gang feel like they’re on the Ricci Lake Show when things get out of hand…. _______________________________________________________________________

Joey could feel Jen’s eyes, filled with hatred, following her back as she walked briskly down the school hall. It happened every day. Joey would turn the corner, and see Jen by her locker, shoving in books. She’d immediately look the other way and walk as fast as she could past, but Jen always knew Joey went this way and turned around to stare after her, her mouth in a straight line. Joey hated it.

She felt guilty enough, without Jen glaring at her everyday, looking at her like she was a whore or something. Not worth living. Perhaps she wasn’t worth living. It had been almost four weeks since she and Dawson had been caught having sex in his bed by Jen, and in that four weeks she hadn’t spoken a word to Jen, Dawson or even Pacey. She had thrown herself into her studies, grateful for at least one distraction. She worked her ass off at school and at the Icehouse, was actually nice to the bitches in her classes (This resulted in at least having some people to sit with at lunch) and pretended that, on the surface, she was fine. Inside, she wasn’t.

Joey then held her books tighter to her stomach and sighed angrily. Sometimes she just wanted to kill Dawson! There he was now, with Pacey, standing against his locker, flirting with a few girls and grinning his stupid face off. The same face she dreamed she could slap. The same face she wished would be placed upon hers…or her breasts…or between her legs…Joey flushed bright red at that thought and as if on cue, Dawson looked up and saw her. He gave her a cool look and then turned his head away. Pacey did the same.

Stupid male loyalty thing, she grumbled, stomping on her way to class, tugging her jeans down a little. She thought that Dawson would be upset she had literally, written him off. Perhaps begged her to reconsider. Not that she’d consider anything. It was over, she was quite sure of that at least. He didn’t love her. He just said that so she’d melt and she had…. right into his arms.

But he hadn’t done a thing! He just gave her distant looks and frowns, almost like Jen’s expression but far less intense. She supposed she deserved it.

****

Oh man…look at that ass…Dawson thought inwardly, swallowing and jamming his hands into his pockets quickly as he began to feel the beginning of an erection. Pacey, thank god, didn’t notice his discomfort as he was too busy trying to charm these girls who they were meant to be talking about school with. Joey disappeared around the corner and Dawson begged himself not to think of those tight jeans…or those tight….

“Dawson! Hello? You there?” Pacey said a little too loudly.

“Of course I’m here.” Dawson said irritably, knocked out of a nice but painful thought.

“Your ex-girlfriend is staring.” Pacey whispered as they walked to class, Pacey waving.

“Pacey…” Dawson warned him. Man, if he thought Joey was painful, Jen was far worse. Everyday he had had to look at her hurt, angry face. The hurt face of a wonderful, talented, witty, beautiful girl he had thought he had liked. Loved. But it had just been an infatuation, one he wasn't proud of, either. Because it had ended horribly…even Pacey had been shocked when he heard.

“You and Joey were boinking furiously and Jen walks in?” he had exclaimed. “Oh my lord! I don’t think I have any more energy for you guys! This just gets gorier and gorier…” And it was true. Pacey had been completely wiped out after hearing about Dawson and Joey’s sexual escapades, and he was almost as tired as they were. He didn’t think anything more could happen.

****

Walking into the cafeteria, Joey surveyed the area. Crowded, as usual. She walked over to her table and smiled at a few of the girls, who smiled back but continued their conversation. Joey got out her lunch. Then she realized there was a seventh party at the table. And that seventh party was the main talker.

Jen smiled at her, a big, bright, fake smile. Uh oh.

“He didn’t even have the decency to cheat on me with someone who had…well, dignity.” She was saying, her eyes boring straight into Joey’s. The girls then all realized the situation and started to giggle and stare at Joey, then at Jen. “Alriiight.” Joey heard one of them whispering to her friend.

“And the funny thing was, I could tell he was faking it. He bothered to fuck her but got nothing out of it…” the girls all laughed, not only at Jen’s words but at the situation. Joey quickly realized she should not stay, but get the hell out! She got up, but Jen stopped her.

“Where are you going? Can’t stand a little gossip, Joey?”

“Not if it’s all bullshit, petty lies, Jen.” Joey replied coolly.

“Oooooh.” Everyone whispered, absolutely loving this.

“They aren’t lies. What you and Dawson have are lies.” Jen said, not missing a blink.

“Correction, you’re lying to yourself.” Joey said nastily.

“Get over it Jen, he slept with someone else. Shouldn’t it be better if he got some more experience so he could match your freaking sexual drive? You’ve probably fucked the president!” she didn’t realize that the whole cafeteria was now silent, and staring at the fight.

Expecting a retort, Joey wasn’t ready when a water bottle hit her, smack, directly in the chest.

“Woo-hoo!” someone yelled. “Bitch fight!”

“Rowr!” the cafeteria erupted in cat calls and guffaws.

“You stupid bitch!” Joey screeched at Jen, fumbling backwards, grabbing her stuff. She had to get out of there.

“Okay, okay, girls, stop it!” Pacey yelled, quickly running over to the fight, the only one wanting to stop it before things got nasty.

“Whore!” Jen spat at Joey. “You’d do anything to get laid, so you stole my boyfriend!”

“Yeah, and it worked, too, because he was sick of looking at your stupid face!” Joey yelled back.

“Shut the hell up, okay? Everybody is looking!” Pacey hissed, holding his arms up between the two of them.

“Go away, Pacey!” Joey growled.

“This has nothing to do with you.”

“So? This is no way to solve your problems, I think Pacey has the, uh, right idea…” another voice said, and Dawson stepped in, grabbing Joey and Pacey’s wrists, his expression a bit nervous. “Ohh look, the handsome prince comes to save his pathetic princess girlfriend.” Jen snorted.

“Let go of me.” Joey yanked her hand away and stepped backwards, only to bump into someone.

The principal. ****

Sara and Mitch, the other two detentionees (Caught making out in the janitors closet) were kept busy watching with wide eyes as the famous four spent the first hour glaring at each other. When they got bored with that, they sneaked off behind library shelves and made out. You could hear them snorting and groaning and books dropping everywhere. Pacey was the only one who managed a dry chuckle. No one else spoke. It was so tense, Pacey thought, you could cut the tension with a forklift.

After two hours, Pacey just couldn’t stand it.

“So…. Who’s up for a game of Truth or Dare?” he said a bit too jubilantly. Three pairs of eyes turned and glared at him. He laughed sheepishly.

“Trying to ease the tension, guys. Jesus.”

God! It was so much more interesting last time. Now it was boring, and he felt his head would explode at any second. It was unfair, that he and Dawson get in trouble for trying to break up that ridiculous fight. But no one would listen!

“Hey, Pacey, tell Joey to move, she’s blocking my light.” Jen said airily. She was reading a book.

Pacey turned to Joey.

“Joey, move, your blocking her light.” He said energetically, thrilled to have something to say.

“Tell Jen, no.” Joey said in mock politeness.

“No.” Pacey said to Jen.

“Why? Is she too lazy to move her fat ass?” Jen said nastily. Joey sucked in a breath.

Pacey rolled his eyes but said to Joey, “Are you too lazy to move your…fat ass?”

“Is she too lazy to move hers?” Joey said rudely.

“Pacey, tell Joey and Jen they’re both being annoying little shits.” Dawson said, his voice muffled as his head was in his arms, trying to get some shut-eye.

“Joey, Jen, Dawson said you both have great tits.” Pacey laughed, slapping his thigh and leaning back in his chair, proud of his Telephone messing up antics.

“Pacey, shut the fuck up.” Dawson seethed. “And tell Jen and Joey to shut up or I'll be on them so fast--"

“Tell Dawson, thanks, but no thanks.” Joey said sweetly.

Dawson glared at her.

“Dawson, Joey wants to fuck you…meet her in the Janitors closet in five minutes!” Pacey sniggered. Jesus, it was about time this detention livened up some.

“Tell Joey, sure, but why go all the way over there to the closet? Come sit on my lap baby and we can…” Dawson exclaimed a bit too loudly, gesturing towards his lap and was interrupted by Joey gasping, “Pig!” and Pacey laughing hard. Jen sat there, stonily, her eyes not focused on the page.

“Pacey, tell Dawson to get a real woman if he wants to get laid. Just make sure you don’t have a girlfriend already, just waiting, stashed away in your closet of dreams.” Jen spat quietly.

“Ooh…” Pacey whispered, watching Joey’s eyes light up with anger and Dawson’s expression turn pained.

“Jen…” Dawson said softly, speaking directly to someone else other then Pacey for the first time that day.

“Tell Dawson, What?” she snapped.

Pacey opened his mouth but Dawson interrupted.

“Can we just get past this…”

“Tell Dawson, NO.” she almost yelled.

“Come on guys, lets get this out.” Pacey said quietly, lifting his hands, trying to impersonate a guidance counselor.

“Pacey, stay out of this…” Dawson sighed.

“Tell Dawson not to speak to me directly.” Jen snapped. Pacey turned to Dawson. “Don’t speak to Jen directly.”

“Tell Dawson: don’t speak to me directly either.” Joey spoke up.

“Tell Joey: I don’t intend to speak to her anyway.” Dawson said coldly, refusing to even look at her.

“Tell Dawson I don’t give a rats ass.” Joey retorted.

“Tell Joey she’s a cold-hearted bitch.”

“Tell Dawson he’s a cold-hearted, idiotic, stupid bastard.”

Pacey opened his mouth to make peace but again, they interrupted.

“Tell Joey she's just as bad and she should just give it up” Dawson exclaimed, leaning back in his chair and staring right at her.

“Tell Dawson he’s….he’s….so irritating!” Joey almost shrieked.

“Tell Joey: Jesus Joey, can’t think of anything? Brain frozen?” Dawson mocked her.

“Dick frozen?” Joey replied tartly, crossing her arms, her eye blazing.

“Tell Joey, shut up you little…”

“Little what?” Joey shrieked when he stopped.

“You’ll just get mad.”

Both Pacey and Jen sighed, now all of a sudden tired.

Sara and Mitch were witnessing the fight behind the bookcase, enthralled.

“Shut up guys!” Jen then shrieked.

“Tell Jen, NO!” Joey yelled.

“Tell Joey to lower her voice.” Dawson said dangerously.

“Lower your voice.” Pacey said, shaking his head.

“Tell Dawson I hate him.” Joey said through grounded teeth. Jen rolled her eyes, and Pacey snorted.

“Tell Joey I love her.” Dawson blurted out.

There was silence.

Pacey’s jaw dropped as did Joey’s. She went red, and Jen rolled her eyes and sucked in her breath.

They were all stunned, even Dawson who blinked, wondering if maybe this was a nightmare…did he really just say that?

Joey tried to take it all in but couldn’t. She got up abruptly, shoving her chair back, and ran out. After a split second, Dawson followed.

Joey raced out of the library and down the hall, but slowed her steps to stride walks as she hurried towards the bathroom so she could have some privacy.

“Joey! Joey, come on, stop!” Dawson called, racing after her.

“Why do you do this?” Joey said, turning around and glaring at him.

“Why are you doing this to yourself? Dawson—it can never be, got that? So, please, I’m begging you, could you just leave me alone?” she spoke with a pained tilt to her voice, her eyes begging him not to go near her. Because right now, as she looked him straight in the eye, all she wanted to do was to grab the cuff of his shirt and slam him up against the lockers.

“Joey, I’m sure you think that’s the best option.” Dawson said a matter-of-factly.

“But I can’t. I’ve kept my hands off you for a month but I can’t do that any longer.” He shrugged, laughing a little.

“I’m a guy. And I’m unfortunately, extremely honest sometimes…. Though perhaps I should be more honest in more things then others.”

Joey crossed her arms and listened to him.

“I really, really, really like you.” He whispered incredulously, looking right into her eyes.

“And I’m asking you now, please, can we get past this sometime soon because…” he chuckled uneasily, scratching the back of his neck.

“I think I’m going to ask you out, and I don’t know what I’d do if you said no.”

Joey’s mouth opened, but no words came out. Then a slow smile spread across her face.

“You want to ask me out?”

“Hell yeah…and I promise not to grope you until we’re at least a mile from my room.” He teased.

“Okay. Ask me out.” She smirked.

“But no groping. We can save that for the…um….fourth date.”

He grinned and stepped forward to take her into his arms, but she stepped back, now a little shy.

“Dawson—it’s been a long time- what if we don’t….and we’re like, friends how can we date?”

He rolled his eyes. “As insecure as ever.” He then caressed her cheek.

“Just relax, Jo. If you’re feeling close to what I’m feeling right now then I think we’re set.”

She smiled, nodding, and then stepped up on her tiptoes to accept his passionate kiss. They kissed breathlessly for a few moments, and his arms wrapped securely around her waist. Then it started to get heavy. Dawson, not expecting Joey to suddenly push him up against one of the lockers and pin him there with her body, gasped in disbelief. He guessed Joey was back to the exciting familiarization of making out.

They kissed madly, getting hotter by the minute. Joey welcomed his tight grip on her ass as he pressed her up against his hard on.

“Hmm-hmm- unpredictable, much?” Dawson chuckled, nuzzling her neck then kissing his way back to her lips.

Then Joey pulled away and whispered into his ear what she wanted to do to him…right there, against the lockers. Her words consisted of “Fuck.” “Brains.” And “Out.” She then kissed him passionately, Dawson’s eyes almost popping out of his head.

“Whatever happened to groping on the fourth date?” he said quickly.

“This isn’t a date.” She replied in a low tone. “You might think I’m crazy but that’s all I wanna do right now.”

Pulling away breathless, Dawson looked left then right before guiding Joey to a famous spot on the Capeside High campus, his hands resting on her backside.

****

“Jen…you okay?” Pacey asked sympathetically, a few moments after the terrible two had left.

“Yeah, I’ll live.” She muttered, blinking hard and concentrating on the book, but the words blurred. She gave up and threw it down.

“I’ve learnt not to be surprised anymore by those two.” Pacey said, sniggering slightly. “I’m sorry Jen but it doesn’t take a scientist to figure out what those two are probably doing right now.”

“If I had known this might have happened I never would have bothered with him.” She said, biting her lip. “But then- maybe I thought I had a shot…Pacey…” she turned and looked at him, her eyes sad.

“I really did love him. And like every single other guy in my life, he hurt me. When I thought he was incapable of that.”

Pacey didn’t know what to say, he had heard it all before, anyway, not only in her words but his.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, shrugging. Sara and Mitch, now bored, rolled their eyes.

****

“Oh shit…I don’t have…anything…” Dawson whispered hoarsely in the dark. Joey had just finished undoing his pants and was reaching in when he remembered lack of protection. His shirt was off, so was hers, and he was inching her jeans down.

“It’s okay- we’ve done it before.” She whispered, stroking his length, causing him to shudder slightly.

“Yeah, but, uh I don’t think I can…you know…do that this time.”

Joey chuckled slightly, and then moaned. “Ohhh…” she let he head fall back onto the floor, and started to zip him back up.

“Waaait a second.” He whispered, stopping her movements.

“What?” she said, dazed.

“We have almost three hours left. We might as well do something to pass the time.”

“Huh?”

He pulled her jeans and panties off and Joey stared, wide eyed as he kissed down her navel.

“Shit…Dawson…are you sure?” she whispered, giggling a little.

“Mmm-mm, I gotta learn how to do this sometime.” He laughed softly, gently inching her thighs apart.

“Oooh…” she gasped softly when she realized what he was doing.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, concentrating on how good it felt instead of the fact that he was going down on her, and in the janitor’s closet of all places!

She started to feel hot all over and her pelvis tingled with pleasure. His head bowed deeper. “Hmph…” she grunted, clamping her mouth shut and grabbing his hair.

His tongue then flicked right over that special spot…the spot that always felt good. He knew it felt good thanks to that time in the creek, and concentrated on it. “God Bless his learning system.” She mused, letting a moan slip through her tightly pressed together lips.

Thinking it took longer then just a few flicks to get her off, he was unprepared when she let out a shriek and her head rolled to one side. She breathed heavily for a few moments, not being able to see anything but stars. When she got back down to earth, she moved her hips away from him, not being able to stand his caressing anymore as the area was extra sensitive.

He stared up at her, smiling slightly, one eyebrow raised. She stared down at him, her lips parted slightly, and she ran her finger along his. Her eyes told him everything…”Thanks.”

Kneeling up, she then pushed him down onto his back. “I have to learn as well.” She teased him, and he just couldn’t believe his luck when she unzipped his pants and reached inside. Dawson knew that when Joey wanted to learn something, she did, and she aced it, too.

*****

At almost Four O Clock, Dawson and Joey stumbled into the library, their eyes blinking furiously in the bright fluorescent lights. Jen was staring out the window, dazed, and Pacey was asleep. A loud grunt from behind a bookcase indicated Mitch and Sara were still on second base…perhaps going onto third.

Rushing over to the table before the librarian got back, Dawson and Joey didn’t notice Jen’s tense expression as they played over the moments in the janitors closet, each having thoughts resounding in their minds.

I can’t believe we did that…in the closet…and…how close we were to making love just meters away from everybody! One minute fighting…the next…it was like a pattern. A weird, crazily weaved pattern. Joey thought, looking at him out of the corner of her eyes, bemused.

She wondered what he was thinking.

I can’t believe she swallowed!

*****

Dawson and Joey had barely climbed the ladder before their clothes hit the floor.

They were determined to finish what they had started, then analyze/discuss/talk about what they were going to do later. Knocking over his lamp, a few books piled up on his table and sending his alarm flying across the room, neither noticed the mess as they fell onto the bed. ****

Later, they lay together, happily sated and thinking about how good it felt to be doing this after a month. Joey buried her head into his chest, then climbed up slightly. She kissed his neck and turned around so her back was on his chest. She then turned back again and nestled into she sheets, biting his shoulder playfully. He laughed at her antics; she looked like a caterpillar.

“You quite comfortable?” he teased, smoothing his hands down her back.

She flickered an eyebrow and moved directly off him and next to him.

“No-no- come back.” He pleaded, lifting her by her hips and brought her back onto his warm body, Joey laughing softly.

“So…..what now?” Joey then whispered, looking down at him.

“What?” he replied, too busy kissing her neck and shoulder.

“What are we doing?”

“Look it up,” he laughed.

“No, I mean, are we together?” she asked hopefully. “You know- dates, kisses, anniversaries…the whole schmaltzy bit of high-school dating.”

He stared into her eyes, warm, loving, hopeful.

Quite a change from the cold, scared and distant look he had seen on her only hours earlier.

“Of course we are.” He whispered, caressing her stomach, then reaching underneath the sheet and caressing her bare thigh, indicating that perhaps- they could do another round. They kissed softly. Then she tore away from him and sat up.

“Well- then let’s do something with substance!” she said, laughing, and she got off him. She slid off the bed, dropping the sheets and walked, naked, over to where her clothes were discarded. Dawson raised his eyebrows, a little disappointed. “I’ve never had a boyfriend. You’re my first—kind of ironic, huh?” Joey mused.

“There are things that are better then sex, you know.” Joey said, noticing his expression, and seeing his eyes travel all over her body hungrily.

“Oh yeah? Like what?” he replied, grinning. Pulling on her panties and shirt, she gestured towards the TV. Then outside. Then she crawled onto the bed and placed her hands on his shoulders. She kissed him slowly, and let her tongue slide into his mouth.

“That’s two fifths sex/orgasm, Jo.” He whispered, cupping her clothed breasts.

“Oh yeah? What’s the first?”

“Sneezing.”

Joey laughed. “Yeah right! Besides, sex and having an orgasm are both different things.”

“I know that….look, you’re ruining my theory!”

“Okay, well, let me finish.” She smiled.

“Third fifths of making love is…well, third base. Four fifths is sex and the whole thing is this…” She said, smiling. He wondered what the ‘Whole Thing,’ could possibly be. She turned around and relaxed into his arms. She then grabbed the remote, which sat on his night table.

“Watching bad movies.”

“Like we always do.” Dawson interrupted, kissing her neck.

“We didn’t always do that.” She pointed out.

Dawson realized she was onto something. Grinning widely, he hugged her closer.

“I think I’m gonna like being with you, Jo.”

“I think I’m gonna like being with you, too.”

“So what’s the movie?”

“Oh-- Reality Bites.”

“Figures.”

THE END. (Hey, at least I didn’t have Abby in this one!)