Part 1/3

Summary: Set after season four, but things turned out differently…

Rating: R

Song by Dar Williams.

____________________________________________________________________

The summer ends and we wonder where we are
And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car And last night was hard, you said
You packed up every room
And then you cried and went to bed
But today you closed the door and said
"We have to get a move on.
It's just that time of year when we push ourselves ahead,
We push ourselves ahead."

****

“I can’t believe you’re sticking around this boring town all summer,’ Jack said in disbelief, interrupting their game of ‘who would you rather…’ (The quick version, where answers were spilt out of mouths, embarrassing and delighting all who played) and shaking his head and readjusting his towel on the steps at the ruins. Jen and Joey exchanged knowing looks. They’d just asked if he’d rather kiss Dawson or Pacey. Dawson too looked relieved at the interruption.

“It wont be for the whole summer…and I don’t mind. It’ll probably be my last,’ Dawson shrugged, shading his eyes from the glaring midday sun.

“For all of us,” Jen said wryly, twisting a golden lock of hair around her forefinger.

“Yeah…’ Joey muttered, hoping this would actually be the case. She sneaked another look at Dawson, who folded his hands behind his head and stared up at the sky. Although it was June it was a semi-cold day, and they were all wearing jeans. The four of them were tired but elated—high school over, rest of their lives, here they come.

“You don’t even have a job,” Jack pointed out to Dawson, continuing his load of questions that had started since Dawson had told them all he wasn’t going to L.A until August. “I can help out at the shop. And Dave said he’d love to have me back at the video store…” Dawson shrugged. “But I don’t know…I guess I kind of want to be lazy this summer.”

“You?” Joey tipped her head and poked her tongue out at him. “Excuse me if I’m mistaken, but what *have* you been doing all year?” Jen hid her smile, and Jack just smirked. They both knew what Romeo and Juliet had been doing all year—losing their virginity to other people, drama ensuing, changes taking place, drunken escapades, fights, mind games…the list went on. And now, with Pacey in Jamaica and Gretchen back in New York, they were both alone and sparking off each other.

Dawson pointed at her. “Likewise.” “I’ve been studying my ass off and working for the Evil Mrs. Valentine.” Jen cringed at the name of her nemesis’s mother.

“I’ve been studying my ass off too.” “Right.” Joey rolled her eyes but grinned.

“Besides, I want to see more of Lil,” Dawson added. “That is so cute,” Jen sighed, leaning on her elbow. Dawson just smiled. Joey scratched her cheek thoughtfully.

“Okay.” Jack placed his hands down on the cement. “Dawson. Boxers of briefs?” “Boxers.”

Joey blushed. “Spiderman or Superman?”

“Spiderman.” “Betty or Veronica?”

“Veronica.” “Really?” Jack laughed. Dawson shrugged and chuckled.

“Jack you just ruined it,” Jen threw a leaf at him. “It’s about playing in tandem!”

“Dawson, you go. I give up.’ Jack lay back down and threw the leaf back at Jen. “Alright. Joeyy…’ Dawson wiggled his brows and she giggled and leaned her cheek on the palm of her hand, “Uh-oh.”

“Okay. Heath Ledger or Russell Crowe.’ “Oooh, Aussies,” Jen winked at Joey.

“Heath Ledger.” Joey laughed, sitting up and hugging her knees. “Chocolate or Vanilla?”

“Vanilla.”

They eyed each other teasingly as she answered, Joey awaiting to hear ‘the clincher’ question.

“Um…Jen or Andie?” Dawson shrugged, receiving a playful slap from Jen. “Jen.’ Joey said without a blink. Jen blew Joey a kiss. “Boston or New York?” “New York.”

“Hugs or kisses.” “Kisses.” She raised one eyebrow. “Bath or shower?”

“Bath…” “Naked or clothes?”

“Naked…” Joey shrieked and covered her mouth. “Yup.” Dawson leaned back on the ground. “I knew it.’

“Ha. Like you can talk,’ Jen fired at him.

Joey bit her bottom lip—what did she mean? How did she know? Well, obviously…Joey remembered with ardor that memorable July fourth weekend at the beach. She and Pacey had fought the entire time, whilst Dawson and Jen had gotten laid. They’d even gone to prom together. Pacey had gone with Andie and Joey had let Jack take her, even though she’d wanted to just stay at home. Dawson had actually asked…but Joey didn’t want to think about that right now.

Jen went on to say, “Your mom told me you loved to run around naked as a kid.” “He did,” Joey confirmed. “He couldn’t keep his Spiderman Y fronts on.” “Spiderman. Ha.” Jack laughed. “Okay. That’s enough.” Dawson held up his hands. “Joey, its your turn. Before I tell them about your Leonardo DiCaprio poster.” Joey gasped as Jen and Jack flew up, laughing. “I’m going to kill you.” Joey threatened, pushing Dawson’s arm.

“Hey, at least I didn’t tell them about your underwear. Or lack thereof,’ he added jokingly to Jen and Jack’s delight. This time, Joey just blushed and scraped her hair back in a pony. “Ecck.” Jack was looking at his watch. “Jen, hon, its five o clock.’ “Oh my god it doesn’t feel like it. I love summer.’ Jen sighed dreamily, stretching like a cat in the afternoon sun.

“Grams wanted us to have dinner in the house one last time.” Jack said, with a shake of his head. “I can’t believe she’s moving.’ “She’s been next door to us since…the dawn of time,’ Dawson agreed vehemently. “I was sooo scared of her,” Joey laughed. “You?” Jen nudged Joey. “She was terrified. We used to sit on my roof and see the shadow of your grandma in the kitchen, wielding a knife, and I used to tell Jo she was cutting up little kids.’

“Oh gross Dawson.’ Jen wrinkled her nose. “Hey, I was imaginative. Joey believed me.’ “I was impressionable,” Joey poked her tongue out at him. “Anyway, I think she wants us back.” Jack got up onto his feet. Jen nodded grudgingly. “Hey guys…do you want to come over?” she asked. “I’d love too, but I think Grams wants this night to be special,” Dawson said. “Just the three of you.”

“Eh.” Jen shrugged. “Drop by later,” Jack offered. “Okay. See ya later.” “Think about the video store job.” Jen suggested. “Free videos…lots of town gossip…air conditioning…I can come visit.” “I better supervise to make sure you two don’t end up in the back room,” Jack teased. Jen sharply grabbed his ear and led him away.

“The whole summer,” Dawson said after a few moments. Joey raised her eyebrow and slid closer to him so their elbows were touching. “Huh?” “Do you realize…” he turned to smile at her. “We haven’t spent a summer together since before tenth grade?”

“I know.” Joey grinned. “Weird, huh? I wonder if it’ll be anything like the last one?” “Probably not so much,’ Dawson laughed. “Seeing that we are now eighteen, and no longer…well, virgins.” “Right. It will be different.”

“Do you…miss Pacey?” Dawson asked, picking up a rock and skipping it along the lake. “Um. Yeah, of course,” Joey breathed, crossing her arms and wishing things didn’t get so awkward whenever they talked about Pacey.

They’d broken up three months ago. He was on a cruise ship in the Caribbean, and she’d spoken to him on the phone a few weeks ago. He had a girlfriend, the daughter of the ship captain, Jessica or something. It bothered her. Of course it did…he was having sex with, kissing, someone else, making a relationship work where theirs hadn’t. But deep down, Joey didn’t feel anger and resentment and depression about him. She just felt…calm. Relieved, almost. And straight to the point: she was thinking about someone else. Had been, in fact, for a while.

“I’m sorry. I know you don’t like to…talk about him…’ Dawson apologized. “Its fine, really,’ Joey said truthfully. She twirled a strand of hair around her finger. “We dated for a year. He’s a part of my life now. He was my first…” Joey looked down. “Its like you and Gretchen, or Jen…” Dawson smiled. “Jen and I…” “Okay. Case in point.’ Joey sat up. “I’m not sure I want to hear anything more about you and Jen and…”

“Jen and I had a fling.” Dawson finished firmly. “We’re not going to run off on a boat together.” Joey felt like someone had socked her in the stomach. “Oh.” Was all she said. Had Dawson just told her this for her peace of mind? “You know why I’m here, don’t you?” Dawson asked softly, looking intently at her.

“Um. Because it might be your last?” Joey said meekly. “Because of you. It’s always about you.’ Dawson looked away quickly. “This whole year…when you were with Pacey…in love with him… I loved Gretchen, and that was a huge step for me. But I still thought about you.”

“I thought about you too. But then, I think it was obvious,” Joey added with a twinge of a smile. “Why didn’t you tell me you and Pacey had slept together?” Dawson asked, turning to her. He wanted to know, yet he wasn’t sure he did at the same time.

“Why do you think?” Joey said softly. The sun was now finally beginning to soften and set, and a beautiful orange glow lit up the water and gardens around them. “You didn’t tell me about Gretchen. I had to hear about it from Pacey,” Joey said tersely, leaning down to dip her toes in the water. “I was getting back at you…” Dawson shifted so he was sitting next to her.

“You didn’t tell me you were going to cut your hair, either,” Joey eyed his new, spiky blonde haircut with trepidation. It made him look older…and…strictly speaking, quite hunkier, but Joey had always liked his longer locks.

“Gretchen persuaded me. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to the floppy look…’ Dawson waggled his eyebrows. “This water is gorgeous,” Joey said in surprise, splashing her feet in the water off the steps.

“Remember how we used to swim here when we were kids?” “It looks kind of…dirty,” Dawson said, looking suspiciously at the water. “Its not contaminated or anything.” Joey reminded him, rolling up her jeans.

“Famous last words. So…Jo.” Dawson also rolled up his jeans. “What are our…plans for zee summer? The beach…New York…should we take up knitting?” “What, no big movie -making you want to do?” Joey teased him.

“Nope. Not this summer.” Dawson chuckled.

“Then, I say we let loose and have fun. Both of us have let loose separately this year but not so much together…except when we got drunk or the time we drove the car into your dad’s boat shed…”

“Hmmm yes lets not remind ourselves. Alright. Let loose. Lets go for a swim,” Dawson stood up. “In fact, I *dare* you.” “Double dare.” Joey said archly, standing up also. And without a word of warning she peeled her shirt off. Dawson’s jaw dropped.

“You think I’m going to get my clothes dirty?” Joey laughed, tweaking his ear. “Come on!” she stepped out of her jeans to reveal a matching (of course) pale blue cotton bra and panties set, smooth long legs and a cute little bottom. Dawson watched as she stepped into the water, and with a shriek, lowered herself in and started to stroke out to the middle. Dawson hastily unbuttoned his shirt and struggled with his jeans, relieved he’d worn boxers today.

Joey watched with giggles from the water, surprised and pleased to note he had filled out a lot that year. He was broader up top than Pacey, but had a trimmer waist, (Pacey had a bit of a stomach) and chest hair (Pacey didn’t) but a smooth, muscled back. Joey knew Dawson liked to run and lift weights with his father but she had no idea he looked like this. Dawson was about to jump in, when they heard the distinct sound of several car doors slamming. The owners, the McGills, were back from city life in Boston. “Shit!” Joey hissed, and Dawson threw his clothes back on, and gathered Joey’s up.

She swam quickly back to the steps and with Dawson’s help hoisted herself out, giving herself a gravel burn on her thigh as she did so. “Fuck!” she cursed as the burning pain set in. She leaned down to study it, and as Dawson did so too he couldn’t help but notice that with her panties now transparent, he could see the dark triangular shadow covering the place he’d only dreamed about. He shook himself out of this thought and handed Joey her clothes. They stuck to her as she put them on, and taking Dawson’s hand, they ran away, Joey still attempting to zip up her pants.

They managed to get out just as Mr. McGill came down the stone steps to inspect his lake, a rifle in one hand. He noticed the usually still water looked broken, and there were splashed of water on the cement steps. And a shoe, a Converse sneaker. “Damn teenagers!” he exclaimed, picking it up, and without a second thought, throwing it into the lake. *

***

“That was a close one,” Joey said, finally slowing to breathe once they reached the main road and the bridge.

“Oh no.” she looked down at her one bare foot. “I forgot my shoe.” “I’ll go get it for you later,” Dawson promised. “Thanks…” Joey smiled, wringing out her wet hair.

“Lets get you dry…’ Dawson rubbed her arm, now filling with goose bumps. “Come over. We’ll watch movies and eat gross amounts of food.” “Sounds perfect.” Joey sighed.

****

And it was cloudy in the morning
And it rained as you drove away
And the same things looked different
It's the end of the summer
It's the end of the summer,
When you move to another place

**** To Be continued.

And I feel like the neighbor's girl who will never be the same
She walked alone all spring,
She had a boyfriend when the summer came
And he gave her flowers in a lightning storm
They disappeared at night in green fields of silver corn
And sometime in July she just forgot that he was leaving
So when the fields were dying, she held on to his sleeves
She held on to his sleeves

And she doesn't want to let go
'Cause she won't know what she's up against
The classrooms and the smart girls
It's the end of the summer
It's the end of the summer
When you hang your flowers up to dry

****

Dawson had hoped to spend more of the summer with Joey, but he hadn’t counted into it her job, and her determination to work until she raised enough to get her through her first year at college. Sometimes Dawson forgot that Joey didn’t have the stable family funded background he did, which included a trust fund from his wealthy, now dead, grandparents. Not to mention the money Mr. Brooks had left, most of which he’d readily given to her to help with her college tuition anyway.

So he started by dropping by the Harbor Club, hoping to coax her into his jeep to go for a drive to the beach or to get lunch, and the couple of times she was actually *there* and not at work she declined because she was getting ready for work. Her blue and red uniform looked cute, though, her determined brow furrowed with concentration as she counted tips, her fake, sunny smile radiant as she waited on guests. “Dawson…’ she’d hiss when she saw him waiting for her, or ordering fries. “I’m working.”

“And I’m a customer,” he’d argue teasingly.

“You’re distracting me,” she’d argue back. “Really?’ Dawson would grin slowly, and she’d roll her eyes and turn away. “Pervert,” Jen called him, when she and he had lunch there one day and she caught him gazing at her when she bent over to the cash register.

“Huh?’ Dawson looked at Jen. Jen groaned and ran her hands through her hair. “Its so *obvious* Dawson honey.” “What is.” He sipped his coke and raised his eyebrows. “You want to pork Joey.” “Jen don’t say pork.”

“Sorry. But you do. Don’t you?” Dawson went a shade of red and squinted at her. “Do you mind talking about…me and…considering you and I…”

“Six months ago. Once.” Jen reminded him with a small smile. “I also kissed Jack but we talk about it too.”

“Wha…?” Dawson’s eyes widened when Joey came over with Jen’s Diet Soda. “Oh Jo, you’re a doll.’ Jen sighed, taking it and smiling up at her. “How’s work? When you do clock off? There’s a party on the beach at eight…”

“Oh I don’t know…’ Joey sighed, shrugging. “I’m not really into parties lately…” “You should go,’ Dawson offered. “If you hate it I can…we can hang out or something.” “You two can do your usual cynical spiel and insult all the other kids,” Jen suggested. “What, you won’t join us?” Dawson joked.

“Of course. Oh and guess whose back in town?” “Who…” Joey opened her small notebook and pretended to write things down so Mrs Valentine wouldn’t crucify her for socializing with friends. “Andrea McPhee. She’s in town orientating for Harvard. She’s going to start there next semester.”

“I thought she’d stay in Italy for college…” Joey said in surprise, and envy. Seeing Andie so sun-kissed, carefree and so damn sophisticated had been hard, especially since whilst Andie had been traveling Europe and meeting tanned European men, Joey had been stuck in Capeside battling out dramas with Andie’s ex-boyfriend. “A girl can have too much fun,” Jen laughed. “Jack’s happy, anyway. She’s staying with us when she’s not in Cambridge.”

Jen and Jack had both been exceptionally social that summer since Grams had moved to Boston. They went down every weekend but spent the week in Capeside, sharing an apartment so the two of them could have summer jobs and spend their last time in the small town. They’d had a few ‘gatherings’ at the place, one of which had ended with cops at the door (Pacey’s brother, it so happened, who, according to Jen’s eagle eye had checked Jack out.)

Joey grudgingly agreed, and Jen was about to order some fries when she gasped sharply and dropped her head. “Ohmigod. Dawson. We have to go. Now.” She said through gritted teeth. Both Joey and Dawson turned to see Drue, swaggering over in the corner, flirting with some customers.

“But…” But Jen had issues with that guy and they had to leave.

After tipping Joey a generous twenty dollars, Jen dragged Dawson away by his ear. Yesterday, the three of them had gone shopping for Andie’s birthday present and when deciding where to get lunch, Dawson had ‘suggested’ the Harbor club. “No. Way.” Jack said flatly, sending Jen a knowing look. “I’m sick of that place, D!”

“I just want to be around her,” Dawson had blurted out truthfully. “Not in that way,” He added quickly afterwards.

“I do believe…” Jack remarked candidly once Dawson had left to meet Joey, his head up, his eyes shining, as ‘randy as a rabbit,’ as Andie had commented yesterday; “That our Romeo and Juliet might finally be getting it together.” “I don’t know.’ Jen murmured, staring after Dawson. “Something tells me Joey isn’t really…into it as much as he is. But damn it, if she hurts him again…’ Jen shook her head. “I’ll fucking kill her.”

****

Joey waited patiently on the sand, holding her cold beer (she only moderately liked this kind, but it was the only drink available) watching as Dawson talked to a few girls from high school who were surrounding him like bees on a bee hive, Joey thought, scoffing to herself. Dawson had never *not* been popular with the girls.

He hadn’t been considered a full-on stud since senior year, (Joey still felt her stomach flip over when she remembered seeing him for the first time after her summer with Pacey, and how much he had grown up, changed.) but girls had always liked him. He was ‘sweet’ and ‘cute’. Dawson hadn’t looked twice at any of them, though, his eyes instead traveling after Jen, then Joey, and then Gretchen. Everyone knew about Dawson’s moving in L.A—maybe that’s why they were talking to him so much, they were congratulating him. Joey put his moving away at the back of her mind. She wasn’t even going to give it a tiny bit of thought—that was at the end of the summer. Joey straightened her black halter neck top and wished she were in more of a mood to party. The most daring thing she’d done so far was jump in the lake at the Ruins…pretty risqué for her, though. Who knew Dawson would bring out that in her?

“Hey. Having fun?’ Dawson came over eventually and plopped down on the sand next to her, opening up another beer.

“Sure.’ Joey said dryly. She could be in bed, sleeping, so she could wake up early and make more money. She would never make enough money. Joey felt depressed. Pacey’s phone call that morning made it worse. He told her he’d be coming back in a month, for a few days, before shipping out somewhere else. Joey didn’t know what to think…jump in his arms or avoid him? And what about those times lately that whenever she looked at Dawson in a certain way, whenever he gave her one of his slow, sexy smiles, she felt herself go warm?

Last night, she’d actually had a sex dream about him. It had been unintentional but Joey had been embarrassed and a little turned on. She’d dreamed he’d climbed into *her* window, and gotten into bed with her, taken off her clothes slowly…like he would…touched her all over…kissed her everywhere…she was fumbling and reaching for his clothes when her alarm went off.

Joey turned to look at him. He was gazing out at the black ocean. “Bored?” he asked, turning and smiling at her, as if reading her mind. “Um. Oh. Kind of,” Joey shrugged, blushing. “Alright. Lets blow this scene,” Dawson suggested with a conspirator wink.

****

Sally was reminding Harry he once told her a woman and a man can’t just be ‘friends’ in “When Harry met Sally,” one of Joey’s favorite movies, as Dawson and Joey lounged on his bed, pretending everything felt normal and sharing buttered popcorn and beers.

They hadn’t been this close—physically—lying together on his bed, anyway, for months. It was nice. Of course, Dawson admitted to himself, it was more than nice. He liked her, always had, always will—with Joey he didn’t just switch the attraction off that he had for her. It was always, always there. But now that Gretchen was in New York, and Jen was just…well, not here and not in his mind like she used to be, Joey’s sensuality was affecting him in a big way. And she wasn’t with Pacey. Pacey was far, far, far away. He liked that idea.

Joey chuckled at her favorite scene, (this was one of her ‘comfort’ movies) and shifted closer to Dawson, sneaking him a quick look. Her bare arm brushed against his and he almost jumped, but kept his cool, and loosened the buttons on his shirt feeling his skin heat up. Just concentrate on the TV. Or the door. Don’t look at her.

He wasn’t expecting Joey’s hand to rest on his back, warm and inviting. She leaned in closer so he could smell the scent of her hair, and with his fingertips he touched it, feeling the soft and silky strands glide through his fingers.

He’d lowered his mouth and pressed his lips against her ear, cautiously, but she had just closed her eyes and a small sigh escaped from her lips. Bravely, he kissed a trail down her cheek and Joey lifted her chin so he could kiss the upside of her neck, her eyes still closed. She was so soft…so sweet…Dawson wanted to turn her over and make love to her right then, but it wouldn’t have made sense, not now. But did making sense even matter anymore? He kissed the corner of her mouth, and her lips parted and kissed him back, blindly. He had an image of her standing by the lake in her blue underwear…

A loud cry pierced the chemistry in the room and they both froze, aware of what they were doing. Lily was awake and determined to let everyone know. They heard Gale’s footsteps, and then her cooing and hushing of the little baby who continued to wail.

****

“I knew it,” Drue said smugly in Joey’s ear when she was leaning on the counter doing additions on a calculator.

“Drue, piss off,” Joey warned him.

“I knew once Witter left you and Leery would be all over each other like a rash,’ he teased. Joey hated it when Drue spoke to her like this, as if he *knew* everything. Even if had, Joey would never admit it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said hotly, feeling heat rush to her cheeks. She jammed the last two digits into the calculator. “He’s always here. Or you’re always with him. I’m just an innocent observer, is all.” He tipped his Yankees cap, laughed, and walked off.

“Moron,” Joey muttered, pushing the thought of their kiss out of her mind. She’d left shortly after, making excuses about…stuff…work…tired…Dawson hadn’t even argued, he’d just agreed and said he’d see her tomorrow. She hadn’t been able to read his eyes and like the first time they kissed, it scared her. It scared her that maybe he had read her eyes, and had seen undeniable lust in them.

If the kiss hadn’t been interrupted, if they’d been alone in the house, if…Joey felt sure she’d have wanted them to have sex. She was more than eager, more than curious, and more than ready. Actually, she was very horny too. However, she couldn’t, wouldn’t let that take over their friendship. Never. Sex made things fragile, not stronger. That she knew from experience.

****

Dawson loved these afternoons. When the sun was so golden orange it plated everything, making the creek dazzling, the grass brighter and the air smell fresh and smoky. Joey was in her usual favorite spot—on the edge of the dock, reading, her feet barely touching the water, her eyes intently skimming the page. He’d controlled himself since Saturday night. He hadn’t gone to see her at the Club. He’d worked

on his pre-college assignments, babysat Lily, helped out at Leery’s Fresh Fish, sand papered Mitch’s beloved rowboat, and even, at night, agreed to a game of football with his father and his father’s friends at the Capeside Park. And it had worked. To a certain extent. Joey had still remained on his mind but she wasn’t as intense.

This…intensity had grown since seeing her in her underwear that day at the Ruins, let alone the kiss, (however brief, it had been incredibly hot) and Dawson just wanted to block the thought out of his mind. Whatever her feelings, they were most probably not the same as his and he knew better then to press her. Look what happened last year—she dated, slept with, and ‘loved’ another guy. Pacey. And it still hurt. But now, he was that much closer to finally being with her. He was mature, he had a career lined up, he was better looking, and he was more confident and best of all—not a virgin. He could do things to her that maybe Pacey couldn’t do. Maybe she’d do things to him.

She sensed he was there, and looked up, shading her eyes, smiling. “Hello stranger.” He sat down next to her, leaving space between them. “Hey. I’m not…interrupting, am I?

“Of course not.” Joey pulled a face and put the book down. “I’m just…chilling. I have three days off,” she sighed, swinging her legs. “Evil Valentine insisted.”

“You have been working way too hard. We’re three weeks into the summer and you’ve barely done anything…summery. Far cry from last summer,” he added, and Joey looked sharply at him, watching for signs of jealousy, anger and pain, but there were none. Maybe he really had grown up as much as she’d feared.

“Well. What are you doing for the next three days?” Joey asked, changing the subject. “No idea. Jack wants us to go to New York on a road trip.” “A four hour road trip?” Joey laughed.

“Jen’s parents are in St Bart’s, and they’ve let Jen know she can use their apartment,” Dawson flickered his eyebrows to show Joey what he thought of that—very cool. “Ah.” New York. Dawson. She hadn’t been to New York with Dawson since they were in eighth grade, and Mitch had taken them to see a musical. They’d had more fun at a Yankees game and had gotten lost—well, ‘directionally challenged’ Dawson had called it. “Yeah.” He was looking at her, his eyes unreadable again. He looked away when she noticed. Joey closed her eyes. Okay. She had to let this out in the open. Whatever ‘this’ was.

“Look…about the other night…’ Joey started. “Mistake. Total mistake,” Dawson said bluntly, simply…but with a trace of carelessness. “Yes.” Joey confirmed for him quietly, looking carefully at him, placing her book down next to him.

Confusion shadowed his face and he looked away for split second. “I mean…you and me, we’re hanging out a lot and its great. Its incredible,’ Joey enthused seriously.

“I love being with you. And the other night…’ she paused. “It just felt so good to be kissed like that,” she finished, lowering her eyes. “As if you really loved me. As if someone did.” Someone does! Dawson wanted to yell at her. He controlled himself long enough to cautiously tip her chin up to meet her eyes. “So let me kiss you again,” he whispered, lowering his mouth onto hers.

Joey, however, shook her head away from him. “No. I’m not ready for this, Dawson. I just got out of an incredibly intense relationship,” Dawson winced. “What if sex ruins one of the most important things in my life?” Joey said urgently, praying he understood her doubts. “Who said anything about sex…” Dawson started to argue—not convincingly.

Joey was embarrassed but straightforward. “You know that’s what will happen if we let ourselves do this…if we start with a kiss.” Their eyes met for a few confronting seconds. It was one of the most revealing, intimate moments of their lives. Standing up, Dawson threw up his hands in despair. “Fine.” And he walked away.

****

“She obviously…just…thinks of me as dorky-dork Dawson,” Dawson said in exasperation to Jen on his porch later on that evening.

“You’re overreacting,” Jen said calmly, pleased Dawson had come to her for advice. Not so pleased it was about Joey. “She’s your best friend. You two grew up together. You were both dorks together,’ Jen added lightly and jokingly. “You know what I mean,” Dawson said listlessly, toying with the beer he had ‘borrowed’ from his father.

“Joey moved on. I stayed behind. I raced up eventually, but to her…I…” Dawson stared at the creek in dismay. “I feel like shit right now. I thought I felt bad a year ago when she left but I think I feel worse now, knowing no matter what I do…its not good enough. I’m a dork,” he sighed. “And to make matters worse I practically latch myself onto her like a slug.” Jen stared at him incredulously.

This completely changed, hunky guy, not only talented and funny, but with a good athletic body, thick blonde hair, intense blue eyes, a giving, non-selfish and experimental lover and the sexiest grin sat next to her, telling her he thought he was a dork? How dumb was Joey…seriously, how stupid?

“You *know* you’re not a dork.” Jen said fervently. “You never were…Joey dating Pacey had nothing to do with you, and what you think you lacked.” “Jen it had everything to do with it!” “Look at you…” Jen reached out to touch his face. “You’re smart, endearing, passionate, funny…very good looking, and you have, to put it politely, a big dick. You’re a package and Joey should be lucky to have you.”

“Jen…’ Dawson was obviously pleased but embarrassed.

“If she wasn’t around…I think I’d try my hand at it again…’ Jen sighed with difficulty. Dawson looked shocked at her admittance.

“I never stopped liking you, you know. Since the first time we met, when you were filming…and you were staring at me…with that blonde, blonde, hair shining…” Jen laughs. “You were the perfect all American boy.” Dawson was quiet.

“Did I say too much?” Now was the time she regretted what she said, and Jen never regretted what she said.

“You said…enough,” Dawson smiled slowly, and leaned over to her… There was a distinctive crash from outside, and then another thud, and what sounded like something falling. Breaking out of the moment, Dawson and Jen got up and went outside to investigate. They found the ladder lying on the ground, and Joey running off into the distance. ****

To Be Continued

And I had a dream it blows the autumn through my head
It felt like the first day of school And I walked down the hall
With the notebooks they got for me
My dad led me through the house
My mom drank instant coffee
And I knew that I would crash
But I didn't want to tell them
There are just some moments when your family makes sense
They just make sense

******

Why had she even gone there? Joey berated herself the entire walk home. Ugh. Jen’s voice, saying the words, “You have, to put it politely, a big dick. You’re a package and Joey should be lucky to have you…” swam around her head and wouldn’t leave.

How dare Jen tell him that? How dare she? And…the fact that…that Jen still liked him! Joey was furious. If she hadn’t tripped over that damn ladder… Joey hugged herself, slowing her walk and feeling hot angry tears force their way down onto her cheeks. The familiar shock and disappointment she’d felt when she found out they’d slept together that weekend was still there. Maybe that was the clincher with Pacey. He’d seen that abhorrent look on her face, a look she shouldn’t have had, not as Pacey’s girlfriend anyway, as someone who had supposedly completely gotten ‘over’ Dawson Leery.

There’s no getting over him, though.

****

Dawson pulled his jeep up alongside Joey’s house an hour later and stopped the engine. He hoped it wasn’t too late. Joey usually didn’t go to bed until around 11pm, so he should be fine. He didn’t want to wake up everyone else so he went over to Joey’s window and tapped on it. Nothing. The shades were drawn but there was a light on, so he assumed she was home.

“Dawson?” “Shit!” Dawson jumped and turned to see Bessie, swinging her car keys and looking amused. Now he felt like a perverted peeping tom!

“I was…uh…waiting to talk to…Joey…” he explained. “I guessed that was it.” Bessie laughed. “Come inside, Dawson…I was about to go to work to do some accounting in peace and quiet. Bodie’s in Boston this weekend and Alex is being a maniac. Would you mind watching him until Joey gets out of the shower?”

Shower? “Sure.” He replied cheerfully.

Four-year-old Alex was still up, looking sleepy but hyper, clutching his robot and watching Shrek. “Hey buddy.” He ruffled Alex’s hair. Dawson couldn’t believe he’d seen Alex being born just four years ago.

“Hiiii….’ Alex said, swinging his legs and grinning up at Dawson.

“Joey…Dawson’s here.” Bessie knocked on the bathroom door, but the shower was loud and there was no response. Bessie shrugged, and left. “Now, this movie is a masterpiece,” Dawson said seriously to Alex, who just giggled. “It is! A talking donkey? Do you know how hard it is to find a talking donkey?” “Really?’ Alex’s eyes were as wide as saucers.

The shower stopped, and shortly after Joey walked out in just her towel, squeezing water out of her hair.

“Alex you better be thinking about going to bed soon…’ she called, but then froze when she saw Dawson lounging on the couch. She gasped and let go of her hair, holding her little towel to her. Dawson quickly averted his eyes from her long damp legs. “Hi Joey.” “What do you want?” she said not rudely, but not kindly either.

“I just came over to see you.” Dawson said truthfully. Alex bounced next to him, staring between his aunt and Dawson expectantly. “Um just let me get dressed…” Joey murmured, ducking into her bedroom. If you insist, Dawson thought, watching her bare back as she left.

She reappeared in jeans and a sweatshirt a few minutes later. “Okay Alex, bed time,” she said sternly, going over and pressing stop on the VCR. Alex whimpered and looked up at her with puppy dog eyes. “Its nine o clock! An hour past your bed time,” Joey pointed out. She reached down to pick him up but he squirmed and jumped into Dawson’s lap. “Can Dawson read me a story?” he asked.

Joey tapped her foot and raised her eyebrows at him. “Huh? Me?” Dawson looked down at little Alex.

“Make it a boring story…” Joey whispered in Dawson’s ear as she tucked Alex into his bed. He smiled, but shivered when he felt her hot breath tickling his ear.

“Okay. Well…there was once this…train.” “Was it a magical train?” Alex asked hopefully. “No. I assure you, it was ordinary.” “Oh.”

“Anyway, it started in…well, somewhere in Oklahoma and ended up in…Maine. It carried five hundred passengers, all homeward bound to…” “A magical school?” “No.’ ”Oh.’ Within two minutes, Alex had nodded off, his thoughts with more interesting magical features.

Dawson and Joey sat out in the living room on the couch. “Jo…I just came over to say…sorry if you overheard anything against you or insulting, I was just letting out my frustrations…” “Don’t worry about it,” Joey interrupted.

“I shouldn’t have listened. But…” she crossed her legs. “Were you really about to kiss Jen?” Dawson was quiet. He thought about it. Was he? “Yes, I guess so.” He said.

Joey looked away and collected her thoughts. “Is there something going on between you two?” she then asked. “No. But if there was, why would you care?” Dawson asked nonchalantly. “Don’t try and get things out of me,” Joey retorted.

“Do you blame me?’ Dawson gently guided her chin towards his so he could look into her eyes. Joey hastily looked away again, refusing to look at him. “Its like you can’t stand the fact I could have moved on. That I had a girlfriend this year. That I’ve had sex too. That I slept with someone else and enjoyed it.” Joey looked like someone had just slapped her.

“Even though *you* left me. And I’ve come to deal with it. So much so that Pacey and I *talk* now, for christ’s sakes. We hadn’t talked for almost six months because of that whole business. But you never even tried to be nice to Gretchen, and you still bullshit around with Jen, when she’s trying desperately to be your friend.”

Okay. He was finished. He’d said all his anger to her. Now he wanted to hold her, just for a moment. But she wasn’t having any of it.

“I think you’re the one with the issues, Dawson. You and your…what did she call it? Big dick? You never got over me choosing Pacey so you tried to get back at me, by sleeping with whoever whenever,” Joey snapped.

Dawson exhaled. “Is that what you really think?” “Yes.” Joey stuck her chin up defiantly. “Okay.” Dawson got up. “Well, see you tomorrow, Joey.” And he left quickly. Joey heard his jeep engine gun and the whine of the car reversing out of their driveway. Once she knew the car was gone she let herself feel bad.

****

“Dawson, go in and get her. We’re all glued to the backseat,” Jack commanded, which was met with giggles from his sister and best friend who sat on either side of him. “Yeah, yeah, ya lazy fruit…” Dawson muttered, getting out of his jeep. “I heard that!” Jack yelled as the two girls burst into laughter.

It was a beautiful, fresh sunny morning, and the four of them were buzzed about their weekend in New York City. “I sense vibes between those two,’ Andie announced curiously. “But I could be wrong. Am I wrong?”

“Incredibly right, actually,’ Jack said candidly. Jen just rolled her eyes. When Dawson had picked her up that morning, he’d been in a dark mood. Jen guessed his little rendezvous with Miss Potter hadn’t gone so well. A few moments later, Joey came out of the house, carrying a backpack.

“How does she manage to pack so little?” Jack shook his head in disbelief. Dawson followed, carrying a duffel bag.

“Ahhh.” Jack and Andie both nodded.

Jen watched their interaction closely. They were talking at least, albeit very politely which was strange. Andie jumped out and she and Joey hugged tight. “I’m so glad to see you!” Andie squealed. Joey looked happy too. “You look amazing,” she complimented. “Europe suits you.” Dawson slammed the jeep trunk and hopped into the drivers seat.

“Okay. We’re off!” Andie and Joey quickly got into the car. Joey looked mildly misplaced to be sitting next to Dawson as she buckled her seatbelt. And mildly…embarrassed. Jen wondered if she’d said something she shouldn’t have last night after he went to talk to her.

****

There was a loud shriek when Jack dumped Jen headfirst into the ocean at Newport. They’d taken a lunch-stop halfway there and were playing around on the beach, eating burgers and fries. Dawson rolled up his jeans and plopped down on the gorgeous but sandy beach next to Joey, who was shaking sand out of her cup of fries.

“Want a drink?” Dawson handed Joey his coke.

“Uh…thanks,” Joey took a thankful sip. The salty air, fries and hot sun were taking its toll. Dawson chuckled as he watched Jen retreat from the surf looking like a drowned rat. Andie took photos and danced back to where Joey and Dawson were sitting.

“Okay, you two. Smile…get closer together!” she urged, kneeling down and positioning her

Nikon. Dawson whipped his arm around Joey and the two gave half-grimaces, half grins. Joey’s mouth still full of coke.

“Lovely,” Andie said sarcastically. “That’s one for my wallet.” Dawson sniggered. “Hey you…” Jen yelled from the beach to Dawson. “Get in here!” “No way! I’m driving!” Dawson yelled back, as if it warranted an excuse. “Alright then…’ Jen waggled her eyebrows at him and nodded towards Joey, who was unknowingly building small sand mounds.

Should he dare? Jack, Andie and Jen all waited, grinning like cats. He used to do it a lot when they were kids. She’d act like she hated it but had fun all the same. Oookay. Without hesitation he picked Joey up and flung her over his shoulder. She shrieked in surprise, then, realizing where he was taking her, shrieked in outrage. “Oh no you don’t!” she pummeled his back. “Put me down RIGHT NOW Dawson Leery or I will rip you a new one!”

He didn’t listen, however, and Joey found herself immersed in salty, cold water, the pressure of the waves hitting her in the face. Not going down without a fight, she held onto him, and the force of her pull brought Dawson down into the water with her. For a moment, both of them were submersed and the three others on the shore fell into laughter.

”You’re so dead!” Joey gasped, managing to stand up eventually, water running down her skin, making her jeans and tank top stick to her. “It was worth it to see your face,’ Dawson replied cheekily, shaking out his hair like a dog and squeezing excess water from his shirt. He held out his hand. “C’mon. Lets go.”

“I don’t trust that,” Joey said smartly, avoiding his hand and treading past him.

They were (relatively) dried and back in the car within an hour, heading south to New York through Connecticut. IN the backseat, Andie had one slim leg propped up on the back of Joey’s headrest, applying bubblegum pink nail polish to her toes.

“Now? Are you kidding?” Jack ribbed her. “What? I want to wear open-toed shoes. We are going out dancing tonight, aren’t we?” Andie asked hopefully. “Jen---you know which clubs to go too.” “I haven’t lived here in years!” Jen said, somewhat uneasily. She and Dawson exchanged glances. Dawson was the only one who knew absolutely everything about her risqué past.

“What are we doing tomorrow?” Joey was studying a map of Manhattan. “I want to go to some museums.”

The three in the back all groaned in unison. “Jack?” Joey turned and raised her eyebrows. “I thought you liked museums.” “I do kind of. Its just, whatever I told you while we were dating was just so you’d hop into bed with me,”

“Ha! I knew it!” Dawson exclaimed, as Joey and the other two wrinkled their noses in disgust. “Okay. Off the subject of Jack and females…’ Jen said slowly. “I haven’t been to a Yankees game in ages, and there’s one tomorrow night against our favorite team…the Red Sox!” “I’m there.” Jack nodded enthusiastically.

“Me too.” Dawson agreed. Joey rolled her eyes. “Everyone just keep your cell phone’s on in case we get lost,” Andie instructed. “Okay mommy.” Jack chirped.

****

The Lindley apartment was spacious and elegant, with far away yet close enough views of upper east side Central Park. The furnishing was modern with a twist. Joey noticed there were very few ‘family’ pictures around---and just one of Jen, when she was about ten, standing outside Grams house in Capeside, looking tiny and innocent and laughing.

“Holy shit,” Dawson exclaimed, peering out the window. “How rich are your parents?”

“Not rich enough for more than three bedrooms.” Jen said, closing and locking the front door behind them. “There’s only three beds—and one double, so I’d like everyone to behave in an orderly fashion—“

“I get the double bed!” Jack yelled, sprinting into Jen’s parent’s room. “Hey, bozo,” Andie ran after him. “That’s mine!” “You Spoilt kids!” Jen laughed, going into her old, now bare bedroom and dumping her bag on the bed.

Dawson and Joey both went for the bed in the spare room but stopped when they realized 1) it was a single, 2) they were about to share? Not that that would be *terrible* but considering…and could Joey trust herself in the same bed as him?

“Joey…” Andie called, “Wanna share with me?” as if she’d read their minds. Breathing a sigh of relief, Joey smiled and pushed past Dawson. Andie had won the double bed argument and was lying sprawled out on it.

“Okay. Dawson and I are not going to cuddle up in a single bed together,’ Jack exclaimed, marching back into Jen’s parents room. Jen joined them, giggling. Dawson followed, looking mildly put out. “Yeah. Not going to happen. I mean, Jack’s great and all…” he trailed off. “No need to explain,” Jack reassured Dawson.

“Okay Jack, take my bed,” Jen stopped giggling to instruct him, “I’ll sleep with Dawson. Or…Joey can…I mean, you and Dawson shared for years,” she suggested, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Joey’s chin fell in disbelief.

“Or…the two guys can have the double bed with lots of room and Joey and I can share the single bed since girls don’t mind that kind of closeness,” Andie suggested, seeing Joey’s face. “Fine. Perfect, lets just get dressed because I am starving,” Jack announced. “Girls don’t mind that kind of closeness? Really? In what way?” Dawson asked, interested. Jen whacked him on the butt with a rolled up TV Guide.

****

“Do you mind?’ Andie asked cautiously, closing the spare bedroom door behind her. Joey was changing her damp jeans into drier ones. “Not at all. The bed’s pretty big, it’ll be fine. I used to share with Bessie when I was little,” Joey added with a shrug. “Good. If things get crowded I’ll crash on the couch.”

Joey found the kitchen and went to find water when Jen walked in. They hadn’t been alone since the incident. Joey quickly headed out but Jen stopped her. “No…wait…Jo, don’t run away.” Joey stopped and turned, embarrassed.

“Look, what you saw last night…it was nothing. Really, and I hope there are no hard feelings. I can’t even stand up against you when it comes to that man,’ Jen laughed shortly. “And earlier? I didn’t mean to sound bitchy or anything. Joey, I like you. You’re a wonderful human being. We’ve been getting along for almost two years now, can we make it to three?” Joey trailed her hand on the marble kitchen top. “Sure. Yes.” She agreed meekly, but truthfully. She liked Jen too. She hated it when Dawson got between them, but that was the way it was. “What were you looking for?” Jen asked. “Oh…just water.” “Here.’ Jen opened the fridge. “Alright guys,” Jack called, wandering into the kitchen. “Lets go out and experience the Big Apple!”

**** “Thank you for coming with me…you didn’t have too,’ Joey said to Dawson as they walked into the entrance of the Met. “I wanted too!” Dawson said truthfully. “I mean…it was this or shop, and…well, my mom does my shopping.”

“Oh, I forgot, she still does that,’ Joey rolled her eyes. “Just the thought of being dragged around boutiques and department stores with Andie, Jen…and worst of all…Jack, makes me break out in a rash,” Dawson shuddered. “Oh. Is the rash okay?”

Dawson laughed and just followed Joey through the doorways. There was an exhibition on great American artists, and Joey was spellbound by some of the paintings. Dawson was too, and he was also cast back to tenth grade when he and Joey had arguments about her ‘dreams’ in art. Watching her study them made his feelings for her even stronger. He loved the visible delight in her eyes.

“Now you choose what to do,” Joey said after a few hours of American art and ancient African artifacts, sensing Dawson’s polite lack of concentration. He’d liked the artifacts, though. “Um…lunch?” he suggested hopefully. “Do you ever eat, Joey?” he added jokingly, tapping her ribs. Joey sighed and let him lead her out of the museum. “Where should we eat?” Joey asked, looking around at the busy streets. “I know. This was my favorite food when I was a kid.” Joey smiled knowingly. “Hot dogs?” “You got it.”

They found a hot dog vendor and Joey gingerly coated her wiener in mustard, Dawson splashed out and got ketchup, mustard and cheese. “How come you don’t get fat?” Joey said in exasperation. “I mean, you used to b, in elementary school, and now your ass is smaller than mine.” “Is not.” Dawson leaned backwards to check hers out, amused. “And I resent that you thought I was fat. I was big boned.” Joey snorted.

“You had the typical only-child bringing up which means your parents fed you junk food, its understandable you were a little…chubby…’ Joey waggled her eyebrows, loving to provoke him. She’d forgotten how much fun it was to provoke the first guy in her life.

They ended up sitting on a park bench, just talking in the drifting afternoon sunshine. Dawson bought her an ice cream, threatening he was going to fatten her up. Joey acted annoyed but happily ate reached for it anyway. “Woah…’ Dawson managed to get the tip of the ice cream on her nose. “Thanks.” Joey said dryly.

“So…are we okay?” Dawson suddenly asked, watching as Joey dabbed her ice cream dipped nose with a napkin. Joey blushed and shrugged. “Yeah.” “I’m sorry about…what I said about…Jen and Pacey, it was stupid of me.” Dawson shook his head. “I’m sorry too. I must have sounded like one jealous bitch, huh?” Joey sighed. “Just jealous,” Dawson joked, his eyes twinkling. Joey nudged him.

“I was just so…mad,” she explained, staring at her cone. “I had gone over to your house to talk…about…certain…feelings,” Joey blushed even redder, mortified she was telling him this but relieved it was out in the open. “And like a bad recurring nightmare I hear you and Jen talking about me…worse, Jen talking about me as if I was an idiot. As if I didn’t know what I had.” She smiled and gazed at him. “The other day you said we can’t be together…that sex would ‘ruin’ everything,” Dawson reminded her gently. “Do you still feel that way?” J

oey bit her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Of course.” Shit, Dawson thought.

“But…I’m willing to take the risk.’ Joey reached for his hand. “I mean, we’ve been through it before and we still made it as friends. It’s all I want, to be…near you, to be in your life. And not being in your life this year was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” Just thinking about it made

Joey’s stomach turn. Walking near him, seeing him across a room…itching to row over to his house but not being able too for fear of pride. She never wanted anyone—like Pacey or Jen…or anything—to get between them again. Dawson traced her palm with his thumb. “I’ll tell you now, I’ll never let anything get in the way of our friendship,” he promised. Joey giggled, “I was just thinking that myself.”

“If I could turn back the clock, if I could make it so I wasn’t so attracted to you, wasn’t so in love with you, I would…it just hurts too much. But this is the way it is.” Dawson touched her cheek gently. “I know.” Joey said breathlessly. “I feel the same.” They were interrupted by the loud shrill of Dawson’s cell phone. “Ugh,” he cursed, answering it, sending Joey an apologetic glance. “Yep?” “Dawson? Its Andie.” “Hey Andie…”

“We’re all back at Jen’s getting ready to go out. We’re going dancing! We’ll be…” Andie rattled off a few clubs, cafes and ‘meeting spots’ for them to follow. “We won’t be back till mid morning, so drink your coffee,” Andie said brightly. “Yeah…uh…” she hung up.

Dawson shook his head. “That girl is a bundle of neurons. They’re going out dancing…she gave me the name of a couple of places…” Dawson checked his watch. Wow. It was five already. The whole morning had been spent making a mess in the Lindley kitchen with waffles and pancakes. “Well…that could be fun…” Joey said listlessly. “Or…we could do our own thing.’ She smiled innocently. Dawson’s eyes lit up. “I have an idea.’ He grabbed Joey’s hand.

****

“Oh my god,” Joey laughed, relaxing back in the seat of the horse and carriage. “An ancient Central Park tradition,” Dawson said elegantly. “I’ve always wanted to do this,” Joey smiled, resting her head on Dawson’s shoulder. “Thank you for thinking of it.”

“Are you kidding? Its all a part of my diabolical plan.” Dawson rubbed his hands together, and then put his arm around Joey. He loved being this close to her again. It was heaven. “What plan?” “To romance you,” Dawson joked.

“Ah.” Joey rolled her eyes, watching as passers by walked past in the dusk. Orange light from the setting sun filtered through the trees, and the high rises were cast in an ominous blue shadow. “We’ve only just started the summer but I have a feeling it’ll be a pretty good one,’ Joey smiled up at Dawson. “Don’t you agree?”

“I do.” They clasped hands. Laughing, Joey lifted her chin and kissed him lightly, to ‘finish the effect.’ Little did she know how that kiss would make her feel. It was a soft, slow, warm, sexy kiss that followed, Dawson’s mouth fusing to Joey’s, his stubble brushing gently against her chin. The driver, sensing the hallowed silence, chuckled to himself.

Joey sat up to face him, her face growing serious. She touched his cheek, and kissed him again, more passionately. The kiss grew urgent, their tongues mingling, their lips meeting and reseeding, discovering, refreshing, remembering, with every passing moment the horse and carriage clicked through the park, until it slowed to a stop, and with a jolt, they stopped, blinking, realizing it was now truly evening, and it lay ahead of them, promising and exciting.

****

To Be Continued

Part four

_______________________________________________________________________

So I raised up my arms and my mother put the sweater on
We walked out on the dark and frozen grass
The end of the summer
It's the end of the summer
When you send your children to the moon

****

Jen yawned for the eleventh time and rubbed her neck tiredly. “I could do with some coffee,” she hinted to the quiet car. Jack was dozing, his head on Andie’s shoulder.

Dawson drove with intense concentration—a little too intense, considering who was sitting next to him. Joey kept sneaking him sideways glances. Otherwise, she gazed out the window as they drove through Rhode Island.

“I gotta get some gas, so we’ll get some then.” Dawson smiled at Jen in the rearview mirror. “Alright…” Jen looked back curiously, raising her brow as if to say, “What’s up?’ she hadn’t had the chance to quiz the two of them. They’d come back at around 3am, and she and Andie had found Joey in the bed they were sharing, sleeping peacefully. They’d had an early start to get back to Capeside before noon. But Jen sensed something between them. Maybe nothing had happened last night, maybe it was just nothing. Surely if something were going on there would be evidence of fooling around… but they weren’t even touching.

In reality, it was all Dawson and Joey could do not to. After Central Park, they had gone to get a bite to eat, and ended up having slices of pizza and strolling back to Jen’s apartment, occasionally stopping to kiss on darker street corners. They were giddy, happy, but cautious. Especially Joey.

They snuggled up together on the couch, flipping through Jen’s parent’s illustrious cable TV channels and made out for most of the evening, until things got so steamy Joey reluctantly stopped. “Not now,” she said shyly to him. “Not here.” “Okay.” Dawson agreed, kissing her softly, once.

They slept in separate rooms, but their burning desire was so strong it could have melted the wall between them. Dawson was relieved there was not a condom in sight. Joey’s skin was so hot she thought she had caught a fever, and blasted herself with cold water in the shower. It took all of her restraint not to get out of bed and climb in with Dawson. Joey knew though, if she did, she would make love to him. She had never been more aroused in her *life*.

Dawson had slept on his stomach, willing himself just to go to sleep. He understood and respected her decision-he knew she wanted to move slowly. If she was still a virgin he’d understand it even more, but right now he was just respecting it. He had too. She’d already admitted to him that she wanted to have sex. It was just a matter of time, and for Dawson, it was about more than just scoring with Joey—it was about, finally, achieving a relationship with her, one that could last past a summer fling.

****

The Capeside afternoon was golden and sultry, and with the River Festival on in town everyone felt festive. Ignoring their body’s pleas for rest, Jack, Jen and Andie joined others to celebrate downtown.

Dawson offered to drop Joey off at her home. She had to work at six and was dreading it after her weekend. “Promise you won’t ‘drop in’” Joey sighed after Dawson stopped the engine. “Why? I want to see you,” Dawson unbuckled, leaned over and kissed her neck.

“I’ll get distracted. Trust me.” Joey tentatively touched his cheek, blushing.

“Can I pick you up after work?” Dawson asked. “Okay…’ Joey smiled.

“We’ll do something…go for a drive to the beach…watch movies…have a picnic…something mushy and romantic, anyway,” Dawson murmured, kissing her equally romantically and cupping her breast. “Stop…’ Joey whispered, shuddering slightly.

“Pick me up at ten. Bessie, Bodie and Alex are in Boston for two nights. Maybe you can hang out here.” She unbuckled her seatbelt, kissed his cheek and hopped out of the car.

Dawson watched her bound up the stairs. He started his engine and backed out of the driveway, smiling to himself. It just felt…so right. Gretchen had been amazing, and Jen…well…wow. She was a great girl. She had been his first crush, his first kiss, his first girlfriend… but Joey made him feel completely whole, completely secure and excited all rolled into one. He wanted to show her what he could do for her, which was anything.

****

Skipping off work five minutes early, Joey thankfully stripped off her work shirt to reveal her black tank top. Revealing, yes, but nothing Dawson or she couldn’t handle! He didn’t know it yet, but tonight they were going to sleep together. Bessie and Bodie being out of town made for the perfect opportunity—an empty house. There was no point in slowing things down. Neither of them were virgins, or attached to anyone else. New York was one thing, but here, home, was quite another.

She’d been distracted all afternoon, just thinking about it—both nervous and excited at once…she’d wanted him for so long. She squirted ketchup on her shirt by accident, short-changed someone and gotten four orders wrong. Mrs. Valentine had been fuming.

Breathing a sigh of relief now, Joey stuffed her shirt into her bag, fluffed out her hair and rummaged around for her chapstick. “Looking for something?” Startled, Joey quickly glanced up to see Pacey, in his car, leaning out the window, smiling. Ah. Her first lover. But not her last.

“Pacey…you’re early.’ Joey said in confusion.

“I thought you weren’t…” “Coming back till next weekend?” Pacey interrupted. “Nah. I’m back for one week, then we go down to Florida.” He grinned knowingly at her.

“Oh. Florida.” Joey sighed, crossing her arms and eyeing him. “Well?” Pacey stalled the car. “Hop in. I’ll give you a lift.” “Oh, actually…” Joey felt her cheeks flame. “I already have one.’

”I see…” Pacey’s brow furrowed slightly. “Do I have competition?” More than you know, Joey thought to herself.

“Pacey…” Joey sighed heavily and slid into the car, leaving the door open slightly. They’d better talk. “I thought…” she stopped, not sure what she wanted to say. “I’m kidding,” Pacey chuckled. “But not about the lift. We can grab a bite to eat. The other person—whoever they are--will understand.”

Joey shook her head. “How about tomorrow night, Pace? A bunch of us are going to watch the fireworks from the dock restaurant.” “Okay.” Pacey eyed her curiously.

“Are you still…dating…Jessica?” Joey asked, staring straight ahead, over the dashboard. “Uh, no. I broke up with her.” Pacey drummed the steering wheel. “What about you? I thought maybe you and Drue would have hooked up by now.” “Drue?” Joey looked at him incredulously.

“Thank god.’ Pacey leaned back in his seat. “Joey, I missed you.” “I missed you too.” Joey said truthfully. “But…” she looked down at her hands.

“It’s over, isn’t it?” “Yeah…’ Pacey drawled. “It’s over. When you say it’s over.” He then leaned over and kissed her gently on the mouth. Joey closed her eyes and waited for those fireworks to burst, but all she felt was his cushiony, cool lips and wet tongue. A wave of fondness drew over her, but not the intensity she had felt previously when Dawson had kissed her neck in his car. Dawson. Where was he? Joey drew away.

“I better go.” She said quickly. She hopped out of the car, only to see Dawson’s jeep reversing and cruising away at a high speed.

**** Dawson felt like he’d been hit in the stomach with a bowling ball. Clutching the steering wheel, he stared right into unmistakably Pacey’s car, where he and Joey kissed, delving in the shadows. All the crap, all the pain, all the lies came rushing back to him in one big swoop. His good mood obliterated, Dawson gunned the engine and sped out of the parking lot, not looking back, driving on adrenalin and anger, his hands white from squeezing the wheel.

****

“Shit!” Joey cursed, trying Dawson’s cell phone again. Pacey had ended up giving her the lift, both of them however in awkward silence as Pacey dawned to the situation. She’d tried Dawson’s house, Jen’s house, and Leery’s fresh fish…but no Dawson. She dialed Jen’s cell number out of desperation.

“Y’ello?’ “Jen…hi…uh…is Dawson there?” Joey asked breathlessly.

“Oh. Um, yes, he’s here Jo.” Jen said slightly oddly. “Where?”

“We’re at a party downtown…” “Thanks.” Joey hung up and turned to Pacey. “Drop me off?” she asked sweetly.

**** “Oh my god.” Andie exclaimed, looking over her shoulder to see Joey, Pacey not far behind. “He’s back.” Andie hadn’t seen Pacey for almost a year. When she’d briefly done her graduation stint, Pacey had already been in the Caribbean. She nervously tucked her hair behind her ears and stepped closer to Jack. They’d been chilling on a couple of overturned crates with a few school friends, slowly but surely getting drunk and eating fried clams, in the best of summer tradition. Even Drue was there, unsuccessfully trying to engage Jen in conversation. Dawson had joined them, but he had been distracted, and started to chat up one of Andie’s other exchange student friends, Alyssa, a pretty curly-haired blonde.

“Hey guys,” Joey greeted them, slipping her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, her eyes sweeping over them, searching for a certain someone. “Pace!” Jen shrieked, relieved to have a chance to get away from Drue. She bear-hugged him.

“Hey gorgeous,” Pacey pecked her cheek. “I’m back early.” “Obviously,” Jack laughed, high-fiveing him.

Pacey then realized Andie was there, and he stopped and stared at her for a long pause, taking in her now more softly rounded face, long ash blonde hair, delicate pink lips curling up at the sides, sparkling blue eyes.

Jen and Jack exchanged a knowing look. “McPhee.” “Witter.” Andie quipped.

“You’re looking…sharp.” “You’re not so bad yourself,” Andie grinned.

“What did Europe do to you?” Pacey exclaimed. Joey forgotten, Pacey grabbed Andie in a huge hug. Joey just smiled wryly, and craned her neck around. Jen bit her lower lip, waiting for the explosion.

Joey’s eyes widened when she spotted Dawson, close and deep in flirtatious banter with Alyssa Marsh—fluent in French and Italian, Alyssa and Joey had been rivals for the best grades in high school before Alyssa slowed down and decided to study abroad with Andie. Huh. With half amazement and half disgust, Joey watched as Alyssa stood on tiptoes and gave Dawson a big, sloppy kiss on his cheek. Dawson happened to look up and catch Joey watching them. He raised his eyebrows slightly, and turned away quickly.

Not tonight. I’m not going to lie down and take this, Joey thought. “Hi Dawson,” Joey said meaningfully, walking over to the twosome. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Alyssa looked annoyed, but shrugged, knowing that this girl *owned* Dawson Leery and considering what she’d done to Grant Bodiene in Tenth grade…well…she wasn’t going to take a chance. “I’ll go get a drink,” she said.

“You move fast,” Joey said spitefully. Dawson shoved his hands into his pockets and said nothing.

“Dawson, Pacey kissed *me*. What you saw was…” “What I saw reminded me of why this can’t work,” Dawson interrupted. “Because I don’t ever want to be in a position where I can’t trust you…and I’m asking you, just don’t rip my heart out again.”

“You know I’d never do that on purpose again,” Joey said softly. “I know…it just…it hurts too much right now. I’ve had a few drinks and I’m not in the most forgiving state of mind,’ Dawson said hastily.

“Please just listen to me…” Joey called after him as he left, probably after Alyssa.

**** To Be Continued

“Do you want to talk about it?” Pacey asked Joey as he drove her home later that night.

“No,’ Joey said quietly, staring out the car window.

“I’m just tired. Thanks for driving me home.” She managed a weak smile.

“No problem.” He looked at her again. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling now. When he had first seen her earlier that evening he felt sure he wanted them to be together again, but…could he put up with the Dawson bullshit? For her---anything. But where did that leave her feelings about it. Feelings, shmeelings…

When he pulled up to the familiar Potter residence, Joey didn’t leap from the car as Pacey assumed she would. “I’m glad you’re back,” she smiled at him suddenly. “Even if it is just for a weekend. I’ve missed you.”

He was touched, and hopeful. “Me too.” He patted her knee. He then realized her mouth was in close proximity to his and she was kissing him. It was perfect---it was what he had been waiting for the entire ride home. He leaned her against the car door and kissed her more fervently, but something inside Joey seemed to snap, and she gently pushed him away. “I can’t,” she said, looking away. “Not now, I…” “You know, this is all kind of déjà vu,’ Pacey interrupted her, looking around at everything, not ready to get into why she couldn’t kiss him. “Remember when I have you a lift after homecoming?” “Ugh.’ Joey pressed her head against the heel of her palm. “Pacey don’t remind me.”

The image of Dawson making out with that…Eve person made Joey feel ill. The humiliation, the pain…the intense love she had felt for him, so intense it hurt, rose up in Joey’s chest. Was this how Dawson had felt when she and Pacey had fallen in love? Had they both felt this way about each other?

“I guess I should let you go,” Pacey said wistfully, meaning it both realistically and metaphorically. “I’m sorry Pace,” she eventually said. “I always manage to screw things up.”

Joey watched Pacey reverse out from her living room window, feeling a wave of sadness and fondness wash over her. They would always have Florida, they would always have their memories…they did love, once, after all…

****

Hot cocoa and a hot bath before bed was an old favorite hers, and tonight she needed it. Her limbs aching, Joey put down her hairbrush, and took a sip, savoring it. The bath water was running in the bathroom. When there was no one around she liked to walk around in just her robe.

A few clanking noises from outside made Joey double check the back and front door—both were locked—and she flipped off all the lights in the house bar her bedside lamp and the bathroom light. But Joey jumped when she realized there was a knocking on her window. An obvious, loud knock. Pacey? Peeking behind the blind, Joey nearly got a fright when she saw Dawson standing outside, looking up at her, looking a bit disheveled.

“What do you want?” she exclaimed, sliding up her window. “I want to talk to you,” Dawson said earnestly. “Please Joey…I’m sorry I was such an ass. But…” “Where’s Alyssa?” Joey retorted.

“Where’s Pacey?” Dawson retorted smartly back. Joey rolled her eyes and Dawson relented. “I don’t know where she is. Nothing happened,’ Dawson said truthfully, raking a hand through his hair. “I swear. We were just talking. She was in my Biology and English class in high school…you know that. “

“Sure…that’s what you were talking about, biology and English!” Joey laughed. “Can I come in?” Dawson asked, taking her laughter as a cue.

Joey stared right at him, thinking about it. He looked utterly crestfallen. “Alright,” she relented.

Smiling hopefully, he braced himself on the window- sill and jumped up. “Dawson! Come through the front door,” Joey couldn’t help giggling a little.

“It’s cool, I’ve got it,” he slithered through the window and fell onto her bedroom floor. He got up and fixed his shirt, and smiled at her. “Hi.” “Hi.’ Suddenly Joey felt shy. He was handsome and fully dressed in jeans, and she was in her

dressing gown, her hair all over the place, her make-up smudged.

“I guess we kept misunderstanding each other,” Dawson started, now also realizing what she was wearing and being very endeared by it. “But…am I right in assuming Pacey kissed *you*?” The first time, Joey thought wryly. She nodded. “We…he…well…its not happening,” she fumbled for words. Dawson studied her, searching for truth.

“Do you want something to drink?” Joey asked quickly, turning away for a moment.

“No thanks I’m fine…” he put his hand on her elbow as if to steady her. “I just made cocoa. Have some,” Joey said brightly, leaving her room and flicking on the kitchen light. “I’m sorry, were you about to take a bath?” Dawson asked, hearing the sound of the bath tub filling up.

“Well I need to wash myself somehow,” Joey pointed out with a small smile, pouring some hot water into a mug. “Yeah. Its been a big weekend,” Dawson watched her make the cocoa. “I’m not tired, though,” Joey said softly, peeking up at him. “At all.” “Me either,” their gazes interlocked, and Joey overfilled his cup and it spilt over the brim. “Damn!” she felt her fingers burn and she emptied the cup into the sink, rolling her eyes at herself. “Its okay Jo. I don’t feel like any anyway,” Dawson went over and turned on the cold tap, and taking her hand in his, put her fingers under the cool water. Their hands intertwined under the water and Joey felt her heart start to pound in her ears.

“So…will he be in town for long?’ Dawson asked quietly in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. “Not long.”

He put his hands on her waist and hips. She lifted her chin to look at him, and he kissed her quickly and completely, making her forget about everything and everyone. Their urgency in the kissing made Joey forget about the running water—on both ends, until her dressing gown got soaked through. Gasping, Joey jumped away from the sink. Dawson chuckled and quickly turned the tap off. Joey raced into the bathroom and did the same with the bath. She then grabbed Dawson’s hand, and smiling impishly, pulled him towards her bedroom. “I don’t feel like cocoa either.” “You don’t?’ Dawson grinned, shutting the door behind them.

Kissing his mouth slowly, Joey lifted his hands to the opening of her robe, and he took hold of it, slipping it back over her shoulders and dropping it to the floor. He stared at her, all of her, his breath coming in faster now. He couldn’t believe the feelings of love and tenderness that rose in him, as well as the need for sex and passion, a feeling he hadn’t had before within the capacity of lovemaking.

Shy now, Joey stepped closer to him and started to tug up his shirt. It was so surreal to be undressing Dawson in this way, but it felt so right. She stroked his hard stomach and gripped his back as he kissed her neck and ear; wrapping his arms around her waist he lifted her up slightly and laid her down on her bed. He rolled her panties down her legs and Joey reached for the lamp, flicking it off. “You should leave it on,” Dawson suggested huskily, kissing a trail from her collarbone down to her navel.

“Mmm not now…’ Joey giggled slightly, raking a hand through his hair, delighting in the muscles in his neck and shoulders. She had nothing to be self conscious about, Dawson thought. She was in fact, going full force, yanking his jeans down his legs, his boxers fast being removed alongside them. She touched him, timidly at first, but more boldly as he encouraged her and flipped them on their sides so they were facing, eye-to-eye. Just before he slid into her, Dawson thought to himself—This has to be some kind of dream. But it was most definitely real. Maybe it was he who said it—maybe it was her—but someone whispered, in that moment where their eyes went wide, their hair stood on end, their hips bucked up, that it was love, love they felt for the other.

****

It was almost three am, but neither of them wanted---or could-- go to sleep. Joey was practically jumping off the ceiling, and Dawson had to calm her down.

“This is just…’ Joey sighed, propping her elbow on the bed and gazing at him. “So…great.” “Ahh…Joey Potter is a loss for words?’ Dawson teased her, chucking her chin. ‘For once,’ Joey blushed, dropping her head and kissing his neck. “Can I be honest?” she laid her head on his chest.

“Always,” Dawson stroked her arm. “It feels like I’ve been waiting…god…forever for this, for us to…do this, and it was everything and more.” Joey went even redder. “I sounded so cheesy.”

“No you didn’t. I feel the same. And more.” Dawson kissed her lips softly. “Jo…tonight…” he shook his head in disbelief. “It’s never been like that before.”

Joey was genuinely pleased. “Me either.’ She smiled and buried her face back into his chest. “I mean, its *never* been like that before, if you catch my drift.” Dawson pondered over this, then his eyes widened. “You mean you’ve never…’ he exclaimed, sitting up slightly. Joey shrugged. “I just…couldn’t before.”

“It happens,’ Dawson reassured her. “So…you…enjoyed it?” he asked cautiously, slithering down so he was face to face with her.

“Definitely,’ Joey whispered in his ear. Dawson smiled sleepily and rested his head on her breast. “Dawson…’ Joey sighed, kissing his jaw and reaching down to rub him. “Dawson lets do it again…”

“Hmmm? Oh…Jo…” Dawson laughed tiredly, rubbing his eyes. “What is it with guys and sleeping after sex?” Joey asked in wonder.

“It’s a chemical reaction. After orgasm we need sleep.” Dawson said automatically. Joey raised her eyebrow. “And women?”

“After they come they just want more!” Dawson joked, waking up a little bit more as Joey’s stroking became more vigorous.

“You’re unbelievable,” Dawson said before he kissed her again, and she slid onto him.

****

I’ll let him sleep, Joey thought to herself, smiling fondly at sleeping Dawson. She had kept him up until four in the morning. It was ten o clock now and she had work at one. She kissed his cheek tenderly and gingerly got out of bed, finding her abandoned dressing gown and slipping it back on. It was a beautiful, clear morning. Humming to herself, she went into the kitchen and started to make some coffee. Dawson liked it half milk, no sugar.

Joey was startled when a pounding at the front door broke her from her daydreaming. Who the hell could that be? Bessie without a key? God, she hoped not! Tying her gown tightly around her waist, Joey smoothed down her hair and unlocked the door. “Pacey!” she exclaimed.

“What in god’s name are you…” “I have to talk to you,” Pacey said urgently. “Can I come in? or…you could come outside…” “I…” Joey’s face went bright red. “Pace, this isn’t a good time.”

“Jo, I know you might not want to hear this but…’ Pacey stopped, his eyes drawn to something over Joey’s shoulder.

“Joey?” It was Dawson’s voice. Dressed in only boxers, Dawson appeared in the front hallway, yawning, scratching his belly. “I smell coffee.” He then realized Joey was talking to someone. “Oh.’ Dawson’s eyes widened. “Hi…Pacey.”

Pacey looked both shocked and disgusted. His eyes traveled her disheveled hair, dressing gown, naked shoulder peeping out, and Dawson’s ‘comfortable’ appearance and it all, of course, clicked.

“Wow. This is awkward,” Pacey said quietly after a few agonizing moments. He looked right at Joey. “You move faster then I thought! I mean…four months---not long to some people, I guess.” Four months since they broke up.

“Don’t bring that up, Pacey,’ Joey said dangerously. “You broke up with me.” “So what we did last night meant…bullshit to you?” Dawson coughed. “Joey, what is he talking about?”

“We kissed, Dawson. Joey kissed *me*.” Pacey said bluntly. “I think she needs to sort out her priorities.” He turned on his heel and left, jumping into his car and revving the engine.

Shutting the door heavily behind her, Joey closed her eyes for a moment before turning to face a mad looking Dawson.

Joey took a deep breath and smiled apologetically at Dawson, who leaned against the kitchen counter, his brows raised expectantly.

“Dawson, before you blow up, please…” “You kissed him?” Dawson interrupted wryly.

“Yes. But it was nothing. Really…I just wanted to get back at you,” Joey admitted, crossing her arms. “So…you kissed him.” Dawson tried to make sense of this. The thought of Joey kissing Pacey made him feel ill.

“I kissed him but I did a lot more with you,” Joey pointed out quickly.

Dawson chuckled, despite himself, but then he grew serious. “Jo…he’s still in love with you.”

Joey bit her lip. “I don’t think so, Dawson.” “He is.” Dawson said grimly. “This creates somewhat of a problem for us.” “How?” Joey argued.

“Because…its Pacey. You guys went through a lot this year. A lot more than we ever did.” Dawson reluctantly goes back into her bedroom and starts to pull his jeans on.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Joey said dubiously, watching him, slightly helplessly. “So…the fact that we were best friends since we were five doesn’t mean anything to you?” “Of course it does,’ Dawson shrugged his shirt on, and knelt down, reaching under the bed for his wallet.

“Where are you going?” Joey asked, exasperated. “I promised mom I’d help out with the restaurant today. I’m already late,” Dawson explained normally, buttoning his jeans. Joey’s face fell. Dawson went over to her and tipped her chin up, so she could look at him right in the eyes.

“Nothing will ever change what I feel for you,” he said directly. “ And last night…was incredible. But you’ve kind of got some things to figure out,” he added as an afterthought.

“How do you know I haven’t already?” Joey retorted.

“I know you,” Dawson replied, placing emphasis on ‘know.’ He kissed her, tenderly, and she responded immediately, eager to show him what she was feeling. What started as a quick, tender goodbye kiss turned into a long, passionate kiss that roused familiar feelings from the night before that Dawson wasn’t expecting. Joey went from gripping the back of his head to tantalizingly cupping the bulge of his jeans and Dawson drew away from her reluctantly, “Now I *really* have to go to work.”

Once he left, Joey went back to her bedroom and surveyed the area. The bed was rumpled, and a hot summer breeze ruffled the gauze curtains of her room, filling the room with the scent of honeysuckle, which mingled with the leftover scent of an obvious masculine presence. Smiling giddily to herself, Joey sat on her bed and tucked her knees up to her chin, reliving every touch, every kiss, every whisper, groan, laugh…she couldn’t remember ever feeling this light-headed, wonderful, hopeful…

She sighed when she thought about the Pacey confrontation. She’d have to do something.

****

“There’s something going on,’ Jack said in a sing-song voice to Jen and Andie the following Wednesday as they shared a bucket of fries at the harbor club.

“With who?” Andie asked innocently, licking her ice cream cone. “Who do you think?’ Jack teasingly kicked his sister under the table and nudged his head in the direction of Joey, who was balancing a tray on her hip and talking and laughing with Dawson over by the bar.

“How can you tell?” Andie asked. “By the way she keeps tilting her head,” Jack pointed out. “And touching his chest,” Jen said sarcastically, eyeing the two of them. “Sickening.” “Do you think they’re sleeping together?” Jack asked the girls, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“Jaaaack,’ Andie slapped his arm. ”That’s personal.” “They’re only our best friends!” Jack defended himself. “We have a right to know.” Dawson made his way back to their table when Joey excused herself to go wait on a large table of summering college students.

“What are you guys whispering about?” he helped himself to a fry. “Nnnothing,” Jen laughed. “We were just talking about your new hair do.”

“My hair?” Dawson touched his new, even shorter blonde spikes protectively. Jack and Andie both nodded energetically. “We love it,” they said in unison. “Does Joey like it?” Jen asked slyly, sipping her coke and eyeing Dawson’s face carefully.

“I think so,” Dawson eyed her back, somewhat wearily. “She looks like she loves it,” Jack said, playing along. Andie sent the two warning looks.

Her gaze then averted to Pacey, who had come into the restaurant, his hands in his pockets, obviously searching for a certain someone. Dawson noticed Andie’s features change, her expression turn neutral as Pacey approached them.

“Hey,” he said cautiously, looking at Dawson as if for permission to sit down with them. “Sit down,” Dawson said quickly, welcomingly, moving over in the booth. “We have too much food.”

“Thanks to Mr. Piggy,’ Jen pointed a fry in Jack’s general direction. Pacey chuckled. “When do you head back to the Caribbean, man?” Jack asked. “Saturday—uh, maybe.” Pacey said haltingly. “Maybe?” Jen pressed him.

“I might decide to stay,” Pacey shrugged, his eyes scouring the restaurant, and finally settling on Joey, who was counting money at the counter. His eyes flicked back to his friends. “I got a job offer, here, at the club, cleaning boats, giving tours, fishing, that kind of thing,” he shrugged again, grabbing a few salty fries. “Basically what I live to do.”

“That’s great!” Jack enthused. ‘You can hang out with us!” Even Andie allowed herself to smile a little. “How did you get the job?” Jen asked curiously.

“Joey mentioned the Valentines were looking for someone—and I had an interview,” Pacey grinned. “Mrs. Valentine sure is…’ he looked around and lowered his voice. “One cast iron bitch. But I always know how to charm the ladies,”

“Aint that the truth,” Dawson said dryly, flickering a brow jokingly. It was like old times. Almost.

Jen was watching Pacey carefully, though, not buying it. Give up the Caribbean for stinky old Capeside, a place Pacey was *desperate* to leave, much like the rest of them, for a shit job, which happened to be the same place Miss Potter worked? Uh-huh. She wondered if Pacey knew he now had competition—but not the weak competition of a year ago, this time, it was serious.

****

She was supposed to be saving for college, but Joey couldn’t help but duck into the La Perle store on her way to work and buy some lingerie—just a lilac lacy set. She’d been somewhat dubious to wear anything black after the incident in Dawson’s bedroom the day he’d crashed his boat about two years ago, and considering it was what she wore with Pacey. She knew Dawson couldn’t care less, but it gave her a peace of mind.

They’d made love only once again since the first time, but Joey fully intended them to do it more—a lot more. They had done it in his room late Sunday night, her mouth pressed into his shoulder, so she wouldn’t make any noise seeing his family was down the hall, their bodies moving against each other underneath the sheets on his bed, both of them half dressed in case. She had stayed for breakfast at his insistence, and Gale had seemed oblivious, asking the two if they had had fun in New York, if Joey wanted an extra pancake, if she was feeling okay because she looked ‘kind of flushed.’

Mitch, however, had peered curiously at Dawson over the paper. Mitch knew Dawson wasn’t a virgin, that he’d had a sexual relationship with Pacey’s elder sister, but he wasn’t sure if Dawson was now ravaging the girl from down the creek, and how serious it was, and if he should advance his earlier-in-the-year talk about pregnancy and STD’s.

Who knew where Pacey had been, or Jen Lindley, no matter how great those kids were? Kids today, he thought inwardly, shaking his head, they just *have* to sleep with everyone in their friendship circle, don’t they? No such thing as monogamy, of holding back. He’d definitely have to give Dawson a talk before he, Gale and Lily left for Cape Cod.

Joey had noticed Mitch’s glances and had tried not to look at him, embarrassed if he might know. Caught making out with his son was one thing, caught having sex was quite another!

The summer ends and we wonder who we are
And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car
And today I passed the high school, the river, the maple tree
I passed the farms that made it
Through the last days of the century
And I knew that I was going to learn again
Again, in this less hazy light
I saw the fields beyond the fields
The fields beyond the fields

****

“I like these,” Dawson commented, fingering the lace on Joey’s bra as she clipped it back on.

“Guys actually notice underwear?” Joey asked dubiously, reaching for her jeans.

“Of course we do!” Dawson reclined comfortably back on his bed. His parents and Lily were in Cape Cod until Monday, and Dawson had invited Joey over for dinner. They hadn’t eaten, yet, however, and Joey was hungry so she volunteered to make them something and had moved from the comforts of his arms, where they had been lying all afternoon.

“I’ll help,” Dawson offered, getting off his ass. “Good.’ Joey poked her tongue out at him. “I’m sick of serving people.” “Well, well…” Dawson flickered his eyebrows. “Let me do my handy work in the kitchen.” Joey didn’t think they had *ever* ‘played house’ before. It was fun. Dawson cooked up a stir-fry and got some beers from Mitch’s mini-bar for them, and they ate out on the back deck. It was warm, and Joey was glad she wore a tank top.

They watched the sunset and shooed mosquitoes away, reminiscing about past summers, chaotic camping trips, marshmallow and scary animal incidents.

“Where are we going to go when your parents get back?” Joey asked idly, putting down her beer and resting her head on his shoulder. “I have a car…” Dawson’s voice trailed off as Joey shot him a dangerous look. “I’m not sleeping with you in a car,” she said firmly. “Joey Potter doesn’t do stuff like that.”

“Oh yes she does,” Dawson whispered, chuckling, wincing playfully when Joey hit him. “You didn’t invite anyone over tonight, did you?” Joey rolled her head up to look at him.

“No…for once. I don’t think so,” Dawson wracked his brains. Usually on Sunday nights Jen, Andie and Jack crashed and they threw a football around in the backyard and grilled something, especially on hot evenings like this one. “I think they know enough not to come over,” Dawson added thoughtfully, kissing her soft neck gently.

“Good.” Joey took his beer off him and slowly pushed him back down onto the lounge.

**** Why hadn’t she felt this with Pacey? This…bliss of knowledge that she could make Dawson feel the way he did? It was Monday evening, and like bees to honey, Joey was drawn back towards his house after her afternoon shift at the Harbor Club. She’d hurriedly gone home and taken a shower to get the sweat/fried/salty/beach smell off her and change into something she was sure he’d appreciate.

Humming to herself as she tied the little rowboat on the trusty dock, she wished she had someone…like, a girlfriend, who she could talk to about all the feelings and things that was happening to her. It was kind of like when she lost her virginity, the only person she could talk to was Pacey and she couldn’t tell Pacey, “Wow. Sex sure was a big let down.” And she most definitely couldn’t go and have a big deep and meaningful conversation with Dawson, either, all,

“And then there was this funny thing where…” Now, she just wanted to tell *someone*, anyone, that she must be completely in love because she feels like she’s on permanent heat, that for the first time since…well, the first time—she *likes* sex. With Dawson. Jen and Andie were great, but…she didn’t think she could talk to them about it. Especially not Jen, although they had always managed to overstep boundaries when it came to talking. Joey fondly remembered their conversation in tenth grade about Dawson’s…uh, ruler. Joey stopped walking when she realized there was some people gathered about outside—were Gale and Mitch having a party? She spotted Dawson’s blue shirt and bent muscular neck and she went all fuzzy. He was talking attentively to a woman. Mitch was grilling what smelt like steaks, and Joey saw that Jen, Andie and Jack were all there. And…Pacey. What was he doing there? Joey approached slowly.

“Joey…we saved you some food,” Mitch waved his spatula at her. “What’s the occasion?” Joey asked, as Gale handed her a can of soda. (Joey hoped neither parents noticed the missing beers) “Just a summer barbecue…and a celebration,” Gale winked at Joey. “But ask Dawson, I don’t want to spoil his surprise.” Surprise?

Joey then noticed whom Dawson was talking to. Gretchen. Gretchen saw Joey first, and waved, her mouth stretching into a genuine smile. “Joey—it so nice to see you again.” “Yeah…you too…when did you get back into town?” Joey slid one hand into the back pocket of her jeans and hesitantly touched Dawson’s waist. He smiled down at her, meeting her eyes, telling her through his eyes it was all going to be okay. “I’m just catching up with my younger brother…and…old friends,” Gretchen smiled at Dawson. Old friends?? Joey hated the thought those two had slept together. Ugh. But speaking of old lovers,

Pacey joined them, drinking a beer he’d managed to grab from Mitch’s cooler. “Congrats, man,” he said loudly, shaking Dawson’s hand. “Congratulations on what?” Joey asked, totally confused. Dawson sent Pacey daggers. “You haven’t told her?” Pacey had the decency to look guilty.

“I got accepted into this student filmmaking program that starts just before college starts. They didn’t even tell me until this morning that I got in. It’s…exclusive. I get to work with Gus Van Sant. That kind of…” Dawson trailed off, watching as Joey started to smile, relieved it was just this, and not, ”I’m going to India.” Or, “I’m engaged.” “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? That’s great! This will be great for your career!” she jumped up and hugged him tight. “Jo…” he let her go. “I have to go in a week. The program goes for all of July and August.”

****

“It must be tempting…” Jen knelt down next to Pacey on the dock. He was gazing intently over at Joey and Dawson, who were kissing by the boatshed. “Huh? What?” Pacey almost knocked over his third beer. Jen rolled her eyes. “The fact that Joey will be *alone* for two whole months. Does the Caribbean still look so good?”

Pacey snorted, “I’m not going back down that road again.” “You better not.’ Jen lay on the grass on her back, staring up at the sky. “Are you telling me you’re on their side?” Pacey lay down next to her. “Not necessarily…” Jen said vaguely. “Can I have some?” she pointed at the Budweiser bottle. “Sure.” She took a long gulp, and droplets ran down her chin and onto her neck. “Jen. Honey, don’t let good beer go to waste…’ Pacey laughed, leaning over and kissing the droplets away. Jen shrieked and pushed him, giggling, “You’re so drunk, Pace.”

Dawson and Joey looked up from making out for a moment, blinking.

“Don’t mind us…’ Jen called, waving her hand. Dawson stood up and held out his hand, leading Joey away for a bit more privacy. “Yeah, that’s right, leave us behind,” Pacey took another gulp of his beer. He noticed Jen looking at him, smiling in bemusement. “What?” “Nothing.” She leaned her head on her hand.

“Hey guys.” Andie approached the two cautiously. “I was looking for you everywhere.” She sat down next to them on the grass, a cold diet coke in her hand. “Does Mr. Leery know you guys are drinking his beer?” she asked.

“Andie…sweetie…chill.” Pacey patted her knee, and then patted the grass next to him. “Come lie with us.” Rolling her eyes, she lay down next to him, and he put both arms around both girls. “Now this has always been a fantasy of mine…’

“Not happening,” Jen interrupted bluntly, gazing up at the stars.

****

Joey had never been so aroused in all her life, but she drew the line at making love outside on a lawn while his parents were innocently entertaining people inside and Jen, Andie and Pacey were just a few feet away, drinking beer and singing camp fire songs very loudly. “We have all week,” she managed to whisper pathetically as Dawson lifted her tank top and kissed the underside of her breast. Her nipples were harder than rocks, and it wasn’t helping he’d been fondling them for over an hour or however long they’d been rolling around in grass like the teenagers they were. It also wasn’t helping her thighs kept wanting to fall open, which was tempting him further when she just wanted to move the action somewhere private and sanitary and…enclosed. “Oh…no condom,’ she breathed, relieved she’d finally found an excuse. Dawson surprised her by grabbing one from his back pocket. “What else do you think I keep in my wallet?” he murmured.

“Dawson, I’m not a fan of voyeurism.”

“We’re behind the boatshed. No one can see or hear us, its private property…the closest neighbor is across the creek,’ Dawson calmed her. “We can’t g to my room, we can’t go to your room, and Joey Potter doesn’t ‘do’ cars…’ he teased her.

Joey giggled and relented, letting lust just settle over her like mist. “We still have to be quiet,” she warned him, as he slid her panties down her legs. “Especially you, Dawson.” His reply was to slide a finger into her, making her gasp loudly in surprise. “You were saying?” Dawson kissed her passionately, still feeling the heat down below.

****

“Guys, you almost missed dessert,” Andie said as Dawson and Joey walked into the kitchen, looking slightly misty-eyed and red-faced.

“I think they got plenty,” Jack joked before he could stop himself, earning a slap from Jen. Andie cut them a piece of cheesecake each, smiling slightly. Joey and Dawson were both relieved to see Pacey and Gretchen had left earlier. They were somewhat embarrassed they had gone so far earlier, but…when lust is lust…wild stallions couldn’t keep them from the inevitable and Dawson finishing the *entire* act.

Now it was time to face reality. He was leaving in a week, to live, in L.A. in two months, she would be in Boston. That was their destiny, although she felt her destiny lay with him. She knew that was what they were both thinking, as they sat down at the kitchen table with their friends.

To Be Continued