Don’t leave home
Part one
Summary: D/J were supposed to reunite early season five…the writers cut it out, however, for unknown reasons. So I decided to write a fic where, after that kiss in Coda they decide to do just that…like Landslide, this is another ‘fork in the road, road traveled different’ fic. There is some word-for-word dialogue in here from “The Lost Weekend” (502) for two scenes. I acknowledge I don’t own this dialogue and it is the property of Columbia TriStar.
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Joey had been thinking of him again. Lying on her bed and just…thinking. It was just like her summer, where every corner she turned she got an image of Dawson, or remembered something he had done or said. It was so strange—just a few months ago she thought Pacey was her entire world. All she needed was Dawson to go 3000 miles away for her to realize that that was being a little naïve. Seeing him break apart from her, seeing him and hearing him be so…independent…it made her feel something strange and fluttery inside, something she hadn’t felt with Pacey for a long time.
But god damn it…now she had to deal with this stupid message she had left on his cell phone—if he’d talk to her ever again. She must have sounded crazy! At least she was being honest. Why deny the truth---a cute boy had hit on her, but she had rejected him because she still held a candle for her childhood (and teenage hood and adult hood, it would seem) best friend who was miles away living it up and living his dream in California, less than a year after taking his heart and stomping on it by falling for his best friend. She sighed gravelly. Oh well. Time to move on. But first, sleep. She needed it.
Someone knocked on the door just as she was dozing… probably some guy for Audrey. “Audrey—get the door…’ Joey groaned, turning over. Audrey remained fast asleep. Joey groaned again and got up. She flung open the door, ready to tell whoever it was to go away, but was stumped when she saw who it was.
Dawson.
At her door. Now. In front of her, in Boston, not in L.A.
Was she dreaming?
She stared, and then suddenly she realized it wasn’t a dream. And she felt happiness flood her like a tidal wave. He smiled back, with relief, gazing at her with everything he felt inside—love, devotion, want, need…he didn’t need to say anything. She threw her arms around him and he circled around her, burying his face in her hair. They hold each other for a long time, until Joey drew apart from him and stared into his eyes. “I was just…” “I can explain,” they both said, and then Dawson chuckled. Not wanting to wait and not thinking
about the consequences either, Joey kissed him, quickly. It was only brief, but it was a kiss none-the-less—their mouths made contact. Dawson tasted her, felt his lips move to accept more kisses, but she had already stopped, momentarily embarrassed, holding her hand to her lips. She held the door open wider and ushered him in.
“Come inside, you must be exhausted.’
****
Dawson lounged on Joey’s bed, sitting up against the bed board, smiling at Joey who flittered around talking non-stop. His jacket and bag were on the floor by the window, and Joey had already pulled out the trundle bed from the closet. “Its okay—I can go to Capeside tonight,” he said, but she disagreed. “No, its fine, really, you can’t go home this late.” They spoke in hushed tones—but Audrey still didn’t stir. She was out cold.
“I can’t believe it’s been almost four months,” Joey sighed, sitting on the edge of her bed, bringing her legs up and crossing them.
“What have you done? Who have you met? Oh and…’ she raised her eyebrow. “Why are you here…” “I’ve done a lot of filming, a lot of studying and a lot of underage drinking…” Dawson ticked off on his fingers. “I’ve met some B-Grade actors, and B grade directors…” he grimaced, “And as to why I’m here? Well,” he chuckled, “I think you know.”
“Yeah.” Joey clucked her tongue, smiling, embarrassed. Okay, so he had heard the message. Big deal. He was here, and he wasn’t mad. There was so much she wanted to ask, so much she wanted to say. But Dawson’s eyes were already starting to close.
”Jo?” “Yeah?’
“Lets just say I was fired from a film set then I left USC.”
“You WHAT?’ Joey exclaimed. Oops. She quickly looked back—but Audrey didn’t move.
“She’s pretty,” Dawson said sleepily. Joey felt a pang of jealousy nip at her. “She’s a little slutty,” she whispered.
He chuckled, then slowly got to his feet and lay down on the mattress. “Thanks for letting me crash, Jo. You have no idea how good it is to see you.”
“Me too.” Joey said quietly, leaning on her hand and gazing at him as he started to fall asleep, still dressed in his white shirt and jeans. God but he looked good. His hair was shorter and blonder—it suited him. And he was definitely more built. It sucked—California agreed with him. He moved, opened his eyes for a second and angled his head differently, moving his lips. Joey realized how much she wanted to kiss those lips.
****
On Saturday morning, Joey dragged Dawson out of the room before Audrey awoke and stuck her claws into him. They went to get coffee in downtown Boston, along the way Dawson called Jen and organized to see her and Jack later that afternoon.
“So are you homesick?” Joey teased him, stirring her frappachino, her favorite. Dawson had treated her.
“Yes,” Dawson admitted with a half smile, “But…L.A has its…perks.’
“I’ll bet it’s perky.’ Joey flickered a brow. They were sitting in a booth in a café in Harvard Square.
“How’s Andie doing…she goes to Harvard, doesn’t she?” Dawson asked.
“Not until next year, she’s still in Italy,” Joey shrugged. “Some girls have all the luck.’
“You’re lucky too, you know, Worthington is a great school. I’m proud of you.” Dawson covered her hand with his and Joey flushed with happiness. After a moment Dawson moved his hand, though, and Joey was a little disappointed.
“How’s Pacey?” Dawson asked pointedly. At least, it seemed pointed.
“He’s working somewhere in Boston, last I heard, has career aspirations, I think, and several girlfriends, I’m sure…” Joey cast her eyes downward. See? She wanted to say to Dawson. Talking about Pacey doesn’t affect me. Its not Pacey I want…
Dawson chuckled, “I gotta catch up with him.’
Joey looked up in surprise.
“He called me, before I left,” Dawson explained. “Good.” Joey smiled.
“So…what about you?” she looked right at him. “Any girlfriends?”
“Oh of course,” Dawson grinned, “Another film student. She’s very pretty. But she’s a prude. Remember?”
Joey rolled her eyes, “You know what I mean!”
“Not really,” Dawson says truthfully. “My mind’s been kind of…occupied.”
“Ah. So…you’re still…’ Joey hesitated.
“A Virgin?” Dawson leaned back in the booth.
Joey covered her eyes. “I know, it’s none of my business.”
“Sadly, yes…I had a tiny fling but we never…well,” he shrugged. “I think I’m still going with that dorky ‘I have to sleep with someone who means something to me’ thing.’ He grimaced, clasping his hands together
“That’s not dorky.” Joey said quietly. If only he knew the thoughts churning in her mind right now, he’d blush at the very least. She wondered what his…thing looked like. Okay, stop, she reprimanded herself. She wondered who this ‘tiny fling’ was.
“What about you?” Dawson sipped his coffee and watched her face carefully. “Do you have any…boyfriends or interests?”
“No,” she said firmly. “No boyfriend.’
“Ah. No one has snatched you up? Everyone at Worthington must be gay,” Dawson winked.
No, Joey said silently, its my fault.
When they returned to the dorm, the inevitable meeting-with-Audrey took place. “You didn’t tell me your best friend was so hot! Did you really sleep on the floor? You know, my bed is big enough for two,” she giggled, eyeing him up. Joey couldn’t believe it—two seconds. Two seconds and she was already flirting. Dawson liked it, though—he always liked being flirted with. “You were asleep,” he joked back.
“Okayyy, Dawson, we have to go meet Jen and Jack.’ Joey quickly changed her jacket and shoes and dragged him to the door by his shirt sleeve.
“See you later.’ Dawson waved, and Audrey waved coyly back.
****
On Monday, Dawson was checking his cell phone messages. “I have a new message…from you…on Friday…” he casually mentioned, with a smile. Uh-oh.
“You didn’t get my message?” Joey’s eyes widened. “No. You sound a little drunk.” He chuckled, listening to it.
“That’s because I was drunk. Now give me the phone!” she reached for it but he kept it out of reach. “No way!”
“Drunk people should have the right to neutralize their own messages!” Joey exclaimed. “No way. Okay, some guy hit on you. A nice guy.” He nodded and raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, so nice that he proceeded to sleep with Audrey. Come on. Just give me…” she tried to
reach the phone again but he stepped away, waving at her to stop.
“Stop, just let me listen. Oh…Apparently I’ve got great timing.”
“Dawson…I was drunk. I don’t even remember half of what I said.” Joey said desperately.
”Well, the gist of it was goodbye. Which is something that I really wish I knew before I got on a plane and flew 3000 miles to come see you. Were you planning on telling me about this?” he chucked his phone into his bag and his face expression changed from amused to annoyed and…something else. Hurt?
”Why would I bring it up if you didn’t. It wasn’t exactly one of my finest moments. No. I was mad.” Joey sighed.
“About what?”
“I don’t know. Mad that you weren’t coming to visit me. Mad that that we haven’t resolved anything.”
“I thought that everything was resolved. Until I got that message, I thought we said everything that we had to say three months ago in my room.”
”Great! I guess we don’t have anything to say.”
”Joey.”
Audrey walked into the room wearing only a towel and coming her wet hair out.
“Hey kids. Uh oh, what’s the problem?”
”Uh, well, this is Dawson’s last day, and I wanted to show him around campus, but I’m not going to have time because I am going to have to go drop out of writing class.”
”Hmm, well that’s a heart stopper. You know, they do have those campus tours. They are a little on the lame side, but not completely intolerable.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Joey said hastily. She had to get out. Before she embarrassed herself.
“Yeah. Perfect.” Dawson said sarcastically.
Joey left in a hurry.
“She’s a handful, that girl, isn’t she?” Audrey commented staunchly.
****
“Your dad is going to kill you.”
Joey pointed out simply on their way back to the dorms. It was early evening. After a whirlwind day where Audrey had showed Dawson the delights of the school, (and her wicked flirting charm) Joey had pouted and preened and finally changed that class, and after chasing Dawson to the airport, Joey was exhausted. He had stayed. He had thrown his bag and sat down, ignoring the flight attendant’s request if he was going to get on the plane. It had been tough.
“Dawson, I never said it was going to be easy.” She had told him desperately, clutching at straws.
“Then tell me one thing that you do know.” He had replied tiredly. His eyes ached.
Joey had taken a deep, deep breath before answering—“ I know that I wanted you there. At the end of the day, when I got back to my room, I wanted you there.” However he interpreted that, she meant every word.
”Why?” was all he said.
”I don’t know why. I don’t know what I meant. I just know that I wanted you there.” She crossed her arms.
“Joey, I am here.” He said simply. ”I’ve been here for two days, and only now are we finding a way to talk about stuff that really matters. Like why you left that message. All right? And you know, maybe that is the ending we are supposed to have. Maybe every other attraction that we feel for each other is just, fear of moving on, fear of growing up…” he trailed off.
”Is that what you really think?” Joey furrowed her brow anxiously.
”I don’t know, but I do know that if I get on this plane, I am never going to find out,” Dawson paced his words steadily, truthfully. This was important. “All right? Because, we’re gonna, we’re gonna move on, we’re going to grow up, and four years from now we are going to wake up, and we are going to be complete strangers to each other. The only thing that I know for sure, it that I don’t want that to happen. Do you?” he searched her face.
The flight attendant came up to Dawson and tapped him on the shoulder.
”Sir. Are you getting on the plane sir?”
Dawson looked at her and then back to Joey.
”Do you want that to happen?”
”No. Of course not.” She admits letting out a big breath.
And so he didn’t go. Smiles slowly sneaking up on their faces, they walk back to her dorm hand-in-hand, relaxed, cautious, but ready for…wherever this took them.
“I have to go to Capeside to tell my dad…” Dawson said as they entered the hallway.
“Your dad is going to kill you.”
“I know.” He said wryly, shrugging.
Joey unlocked the door and went inside, but he stayed out.
“Dawson?”
“I have to go tonight,” he explained, hanging his bag on his shoulder.
“So by tomorrow night everything will be different…free. For me. For…us.”
Joey stepped back outside, and smiled up at him, excitedly. “Us?”
“Yeah.” He was leaning towards her. He had wanted to do this since she had opened that door and stared at him in shock. Heck—for longer then that.
Joey waited with anticipation. She closed her eyes when his lips touched hers, and the stubble of his chin tickled hers, sending thrills racing through her entire body. If one kiss could set her on fire, image what more than a kiss could do. The kiss deepened as his mouth opened, and his arm went securely around her waist, lifting her to him.
“Ooh!” Audrey’s surprised squeak startled them, and they broke apart.
“Sorry. Keep going, kids, don’t mind me,’ she winked at Joey and scooted out of the room and down the hall, clutching some books.
“Was she…carrying books?” Dawson looked quizzical.
“Yeah.” Joey said, mystified.
“You must be rubbing off on her,” he chucked her chin, and kissed her softly, but quickly, like he didn’t want to get started, like he didn’t want to follow her into the dimly lit dorm room and to her bed. Not tonight. But soon. The promise lingered in the air.
To Be Continued
Part two
“So?” Audrey demanded as soon as she came back to the dorm later on that evening, flinging the door wide open. “So…?” Joey raised her eyebrows. She continued to paint her toenails an opalescent pink. The radio was on, and she was humming along to an eighties song.
“You’re flushed from head to toe,” Audrey pointed out, as if it was any of her business. “I haven’t seen you look this relaxed…ever.” She started undressing, and reached for her robe. “You have it bad for him, don’t you? Well actually, I could tell from the moment I met you, all those pictures of him, and whenever anyone mentioned his name you got all moon eyed…” she trailed off.
Joey rolled her eyes, but said nothing.
“Have you slept with him yet?” “Audrey!” Joey exclaimed, “Look, I appreciate this whole girl-bonding thing, but honestly…’ “That’s what girlfriends tell each other,” Audrey pointed out. “I’m actually *interested* in your love life. So, spill…have you given him the ride of his life?” she laughed and belted her robe.
“No. Just a couple of kisses,” Joey replied reluctantly. “He’s gone back to Capeside to tell his father…” she paused. Should she spill? Audrey *did* looked interested, after all. But duh, she was a snoop.
“To tell his father he’s staying in Boston,” she finished haltingly.
“Oh my god, he’s staying? Good on him. I *told* him L.A was trouble!” Audrey exclaimed, as if she and Dawson were best pals.
Joey just stared at her dubiously—was this girl from Planet Earth?
“Oh by the way…” Audrey clucked her tongue, “Jen just invited us out for girly-twirly drinks tomorrow night. She’s one funky chick, hard to believe you guys are friends.’
“Yeah, well, life surprises you sometimes.”
****
They actually had a pretty good time. Audrey kept Jen and Joey laughing with her extroverted flirtatious mannerisms to the waiters, and her stories of growing up with pretentious L.A snobs. “I went to school with Kelly Osborne, and Paris Hilton. Silly bitches.” She added as an afterthought.
Jen shook her head in disbelief. “I went to school with Paris Hilton as well. For like, two years. She was awful!”
Joey raised her eyebrows as Audrey and Jen bonded. “I have to go to the bathroom,” she excused herself with a wry smile.
While washing her hands, her cell phone rang. Quickly drying them on a paper towel, Joey grabbed the phone from her purse and flipped it open, not looking at who had called.
“Hello?”
“Jo?”
“Dawson!” she exclaimed, tousling her hair in the mirror. “Where are you?”
“In Boston.”
“You are?”
“Yeah…at your dorm…you’re not here, I assume.” “No. We’re at a restaurant. What happened?”
“He lost it.”
“Oh.” Joey couldn’t imagine Mitch losing it. Except maybe last summer, when Dawson went to the movies with her, Jen and Jack instead of staying at home with his family on his last night in Capeside.
“I thought it might have been a good idea just to get out of there,” Dawson sighed. “I think so…” Joey said quietly. “Come join us,” she offered. “We’re at Civilization, near the harbor, most cab drivers know where it is.”
“Okay…I’ll see you in five,” “Bye…” he hung up. Joey smiled down at her phone. Well, if Jen and Audrey were going to spend all night bonding, at least she could do some bonding of her own.
On the way back to the table she accidentally bumped into a chef, who was carrying plates back to the kitchen. “Sorry,” he said, and then he stopped and stared, and she stared back.
“Pacey?”
****
“You work here?” Jen threw her arms around Pacey. “The food is excellent! I should have known.”
“Aw, stop,” he patted her back, smiling at Joey and a pretty blonde sitting at their table.
“I just found him, going into the kitchen,” Joey laughed.
“You find the best things,” Audrey joked, and she held her hand out to shake Pacey’s. “Hi, I’m Joey’s new best friend.”
“You’re going to have to compete with a guy called Dawson for that honor,” Pacey said in reply with a wink at Joey, shaking Audrey’s hand.
“Oh, we’ve met,” Audrey explained. “He’s actually…” she stopped at Joey’s quick look.
“Over there,” Jen finished, pointing. Dawson had just entered the restaurant. Joey’s heart did ten flips when she saw him. He looked incredible, relaxed and older looking in a white shirt and his favorite suede jacket and jeans. Even Pacey whistled, “What did L.A do to him?”
Dawson was about to ask the maitre de when he saw Joey smiling at him from their table. He excused himself and approached slowly.
“Dawson, we meet again,” Pacey said, leaning on Jen’s chair.
Dawson looked surprised to see Pacey there. “You’re back.”
“Yup. I’m one of the chefs here,” he explained. “Terrific,” Dawson grinned.
Joey felt her breath leave her chest. Oh god. Both of them. Next to her.
“What are *you* doing in Boston?” Pacey asked curiously. “What happened to film school?”
“I left.” Dawson said simply.
Joey was about to interrupt, but Pacey kept going. “But what could possibly make you,
Dawson Leery, leave your dream school, your dream city?” Pacey was seriously stumped. A short silence followed, and Dawson’s eyes flickered to Joey without meaning to. Audrey covered her mouth to giggle and Jen looked away, embarrassed for them.
Pacey’s eyes went from Joey’s downcast eyes to Dawson’s, and he slowly got it.
“Oh,” he hesitated. “Oh.”
****
“You know it’s against dorms rules to share a bed with a college student for more than one night,” Jen said lightly, holding Dawson’s elbow as they walked outside the restaurant. Joey, Pacey and Audrey were still inside saying goodbye.
“It is?” Dawson looked down at Jen and smiled. “Really?”
“Yup. Look. I support anything you do, Dawson, and if this…” she gestured to Joey, to the Boston skyline, “If this is what you want to do, then so be it. And if you need somewhere to stay, I know that Grams has a spare room we never use. Jack, Grams and I would love to have you,” she coaxed.
“I thought your Grams hated me,” Dawson joked.
“Now that she knows you’re not going to crawl into my room and take my innocence away she doesn’t,” Jen laughed. She stopped and raised her eyebrows at Dawson’s small smile. “Are you still…”
“Jen,” Dawson squeezed her arm. “I love you to bits but I am still embarrassed about my lack of sex.”
“But you look so good, I thought maybe over the summer…” Jen trailed off seriously. “Well…” she turned to look at Joey who was dragging Audrey away from Pacey.
“Maybe not for long.”
**** “You’re staying in Jen’s attic?” Joey exclaimed when Jen explained to Joey and Audrey the situation. She then blushed at her reaction.
Jen laughed, “Joey its okay, really.”
“This means I can stay in Boston,” Dawson explained. Audrey nudged Joey and nodded. “I guess,” Joey couldn’t believe Dawson would be sleeping less than six feet away from Jen. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Dawson wanted to kiss Joey goodbye, but it wasn’t the right time. He hugged her instead, holding her body to his, letting her feel the hardness of him against her softness.
Joey, embarrassed by the feelings he was rising up in her in front of not only *Jen* but Audrey, pushed him away gently. “Bye,” she said softly, and Jen took Dawson’s arm and they walked back to her place.
“You know, the attic is all yours, Dawson.”
“The room is an attic?” Dawson smiled. “It’s a big room. And its all yours,” Jen continued. “Believe me, I know you want to be alone with
Joey to… well… finally achieve what you’ve always wanted too…” “Jen…” he’s embarrassed.
“Shhh! I’m just being your friend. Just go. For. It. Remember our talk about whipped cream?” “Vaguely.”
“Keep that in mind. Come to me with any questions, I’m here for you, buddy.” She patted his shoulder.
****
The next evening, Jen and Jack took Dawson out for a drink and a slice of pizza to celebrate this newfound independence. “My dad is spitting,” Dawson confided in them. “Know how you feel,” Jack and Jen said in unison. They then looked at each other. Dawson laughed, “Okay, spending-too-much-time-syndrome is upon you.”
“Can’t you reason with him? Tell him you’re going to the Boston film school instead?” Jen asked, sipping her coke. “I tried. He said he didn’t know how I could leave the best film school in America for a moderate one.”
“Its not moderate, its actually pretty good,” Jack informed him. “I know. My dad won’t listen, though,” Dawson rolled his eyes.
“I’m going down there this weekend to reason with him some more.” “Lets hope it works out.” Jen patted him on the back.
****
On the way home, they bumped into Joey, who was walking back to school after doing some late-night shopping at the drug store. Jen and Jack left almost immediately, citing they needed to study, leaving the two best friends alone.
“So…you went out for Pizza?” Joey asked. “Yup. I told them about my dad problems.” “That still sucks?”
“Yup.” “At least you have a place to stay,” Joey shrugged. “You’re not…jealous, are you?” Dawson asked quietly.
“No,” Joey lied. “Okay. Well…he looked towards Jen and Jack who were off in the distance. “I better go…”
Joey stood on tiptoes and brought her face towards hers, kissing him deeply.
It was a long and passionate kiss, and after a few moments, they pull apart, breathless. They haven’t kissed like that for years. Dawson keeps his hand on the curve of her back.
“I wish you could stay in my dorm,” Joey whispers, touching his shoulder, letting him get the message. “I do too.” He kisses her jaw, her ear, and her neck. “Unfortunately…there’s not a lot of places we can uh…be alone anymore.”
“We can borrow Pacey’s hired boat,’ Joey jokes. Dawson looks a bit freaked out. Joey reassured him with another kiss. One of Joey’s hands smoothed down his back and then around the front, dangerously close to his groin. The kiss got sexier, more heated, as Dawson sucked on Joey’s bottom lip and she kissed him with more force, letting her tongue slide against his. A few kids passing by whistled, and they broke apart, red-faced.
“I better go back to Jen’s.” Dawson said automatically. “Right, sure…’ Joey took in a deep breath, fixing her hair.
”Do you wanna come with?”
“Yeah?” she smiled at him, daringly. “Really?”
****
“Oh hi Joey.” Jen looked mildly surprised to see Joey in the front hall, holding Dawson’s hand as he tried to navigate them up the stairs without bumping into anyone.
“Hi Jen!” Joey said breathlessly, and Dawson grimaced—damn it, their cover was blown. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here. Of course, I should know better,” Jen added wryly, winking at Dawson. She was being innocent, but her probing just made the situation even more ironic. “I just wanted to see where um, Dawson was staying,” Joey said weakly. “Its not too flash.” Jen had on cute pink pyjamas, and fluffy bunny slippers.
She scratched her tummy casually and then raked her hands through her golden messy curls. “I tried to brighten it up with some posters…I let Dawson choose…” she prodded his shoulder with her knuckles.
“I vetoed the Indigo Girls one,” Dawson laughed.
“I even tried to make him look like a rebel by tossing around a few bras. Grams almost had a heart attack,” Jen quipped wryly.
Joey just smiled this time. She felt curiously jealous that these two were obviously having such a great time living together.
“Well…” Jen yawned, stretching her arms out. “I’m going to the sandman land.” She stood on tiptoes and kissed Dawson’s cheek. “Its so great to have you here, Dawson.”
“Its good to be here,” he rubbed her back. Jen blew Joey an affectionate kiss and padded around the corner to her bedroom.
“That was a close call,” Joey said quietly, as Dawson pulled her up the stairs leading to the attic. “She’ll find out sooner or later. Hopefully before Grams,” Dawson whispered, opening the door. Joey giggled.
Downstairs, Jen rolled her eyes as she entered her room, and smiled to herself. Who did they think they were fooling? She could *smell* the sexual tension, could have cut it with an axe. She just hoped they wouldn’t make too much noise. Instinct told her Joey could probably quite wild in the sack—especially with Dawson.
**** Joey admired the attic space—“Lofty, nice,” and studied a few CD’s he had scattered over the place. Dawson smoothed the bed out and watched her, his hands on his hips, smiling.
“Well, it’s a roof over my head.” “It sure is.” Joey took her jacket off and put it on a desk chair. Dawson found this action quite arousing and he sat down on the bed, quickly.
“And the bed…’ Joey said teasingly, going over to it and standing above him. “Its…nice. Not too small.”
“I’d say it’s just big enough for two people.” Dawson pointed out seriously, but a smile tugging at his mouth. “Hmmm.” Joey sat beside him, and leaned back on her elbows. “Just enough.”
****
They went through the age-old tradition of getting ready for bed—brushing their teeth, then changing into their pyjamas. Well, Joey borrowed a shirt from Dawson and had found an old pair of Jen’s sweatpants. But this time, climbing into the bed together and snuggling up was much, much different to the just-friendly companionship and bantering in high school. They actually hadn’t shared a bed in almost three years.
His lips found hers almost immediately. They started to kiss passionately, only stopping to breathe or to move into each other.
Dawson lay stretched out over Joey, pressing his body right into hers, feeling everything, wanting to feel more and moving his hand under her shirt to touch her hot skin. Underneath him, Joey was in heaven. They hadn’t kissed like this for years, although for the past three months it was all she could think about.
She wanted to drown in him. She didn’t care what happened now except just to touch him. Intoxicated as they were in each other, it still wasn’t enough---so Joey grappled with his shirt, pulling it up and over his head. She wanted him…she was ready to see what it felt like to make love to him. She helped him slide off her nightshirt, to reveal her breasts, and she smiled at his reaction, which was to gaze down at them, then he dropped his head to kiss each nipple.
It wasn’t the first time he had seen her breasts—towards the end of their relationship in tenth grade they had advanced fast past the first stages of making out, but it had been close to four years since he’d been in the position (literally) to touch them.
Joey shuddered voluntarily as he licked and kissed them, the sensations causing her to gasp for air. She reached blindly for his pants and started to slip her hand in, and he closed his eyes as she gave his penis a few light strokes with her hand, wrapping her fist around it she stroked up and down while they kissed.
They were going fast, driving on passion and feeling, and Dawson started to realize he was drowning, and they might do something she’d regret, especially since he had no condoms or anything with him. And although it felt great, the thought of doing what Jen implied under Grams roof freaked him out.
“Wait.’ He whispered.
****
Dawson was about to explain, but Joey interrupted, “I know, we shouldn’t,” she sighed, sitting up, brushing her hair out of her face with a shudder and reaching for her pajama top. Dawson’s eyes zoomed right down to her chest.
“Its too soon.” Well. Not exactly. Dawson grimaced. “I don’t have any…’ he trailed off, hoping she’d get the hint. “Oh.” Joey smiled and shrugged her pajama top on.
“I see.”
“And…” Dawson grinned a little, “Um, if we were to say,” he cleared his throat, and Joey watched him, amused but still turned on (he was still half naked after all and had a very nice body) “Do it here, right now, in…this house…”
“You mean in Grams house,” Joey said bluntly. “Yeah. Exactly.” Dawson reached for his shirt on the floor and quickly pulled it on.
“I want to do this.” He then said, turning towards her on the bed. Joey was still sitting up, collecting herself.
“Oh, me too. I’ve thought of nothing all summer,” Joey admitted.
“Really?” Dawson looked truly surprised. He raked a hand through his hair and sat up. “I can’t believe this is finally happening,” he smiled.
“What is?” “You and me.”
Joey kissed him, pushing him back down on the bed. They ended up having to build a fort of pillows between them in order to sleep through the night.
**** Saturday night was date night. Although, it had been a while.
“Almost three years,” Joey informed Dawson as they walked down the busy street, holding hands. They had just gone to see a movie. “What was that movie about again?” Dawson scrunched his nose thoughtfully.
“Um…’ Joey shrugged.
“Oh, wait, I know. A guy and a girl spend fifteen bucks to see a movie, and end up making out through the whole thing.” “That was us,” Joey pointed out with a small smile. “No kidding?” He put his arm around her. It was drizzling, and was slightly cool, but Joey felt warm beside Dawson.
“Lets go eat, I’m starving,” Dawson announced. He looked happier then he had in ages.
They went to a Pizza place downtown, near Boston Bay college, so they weren’t surprised when Jen sidled up to them in their booth, sharing a cheese pizza, a hunk in tow. “This is Charlie,” she introduced him. Charlie had bedroom eyes, spiky blonde hair and a cute nose. He kind of looked like a male Jen. Joey could tell right away he was a bit of a flirt, because he checked her out. Dawson noticed and he gave Charlie the steely-eyed once over himself.
Charlie was obviously charming, though, and Jen was smitten. “When you two come home tonight, don’t make too much noise coming up the stairs or Grams will rush out with cups of tea,” Jen warned them as she set off, arm-in-arm with Charlie.
“Actually…” Dawson turned to Joey and laced his hand through hers. “I’m driving to Capeside tomorrow morning.”
“You are?” Joey thought of the jeep Mitch had grudgingly allowed Dawson to take.
“Yup. Dad asked me to…go. I think he’s ready to…well, I don’t know,” Dawson shrugged. “I think he’s going to forgive me. Ha.” Joey smiled. “I’m going with you.”
“You are?” Dawson searched her eyes. “You sure?”
“Yes. I want to. I have too.” She took a bite of pizza. “You are so great,” he kissed her cheek. She chewed and smiled at him. “I know.”
**** Don’t Leave Home Part 4 ______________________________________________________________________
“Joey…” “What?” she murmured, kissing his neck.
“I’m driving.”
“I know.” She broke apart from him and fiddled with the radio.
“Sorry…” she grinned impishly at him. He couldn’t help but melt, and he slid one arm around her waist, bringing her closer to him as he drove.
Dawson felt like an idiot. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to be with her, it was that he wanted her *so* much, and he was…well, for lack of a better word, afraid. How would he measure up? Literally, and figuratively?
The night before they had gone back to Joey’s dorm, and finding Audrey awol, locked the door. Joey had practically pushed him onto her bed. That night, they went a little further, and she had given him a hand job. It was pretty fucking fantastic that was for sure. And he might have bee right in thinking she actually enjoyed giving it to him. Afterwards, he was more than ready to return the favor when there was a loud knock, and a whiny, “Joooeyyy? I’ve lost my keys!”
Oh well, maybe in Capeside they’d have more opportunity. His mom called him halfway down on his cell, “I’ve made up the bed in the spare room for Joey,” she said innocently over the speaker phone. Joey smirked and covered her mouth.
“Thanks mom…” Dawson sighed. Okay, maybe not.
It was only an hour’s drive, but they stopped at a roadside gas station and café for lunch. “I’ll get us some cokes,” Dawson called, on their way back to the car.
Joey nodded and wandered to a certain aisle. There were only a few choices, but that was all you needed. She picked up a box and then set it down again. Since last night, she’d been seriously thinking about sex. With Dawson. It was going to happen, because damn, she wanted it to. Especially after seeing him naked. Wow. Joey smiled secretly to herself. It was so…perfect. She know she must sound crazy, but she couldn’t wait to…experiment with him, to be his first. The man she wanted to make love too was gorgeous, well endowed…and heading over to her right now.
“Ready?” Dawson came over to her holding two bottles. He then did a double take when he realized what she was looking at.
Joey smiled, somewhat shyly.
“So no repeats of Friday happen again?” she said in a low voice.
“Good idea,” Dawson looked quickly from side to side, as if someone was watching. “Remember when you helped me before Prom?” he then said.
“Yeah.” Joey grimaced. “Weird.”
“I know,” Dawson shrugged, “Well, you’re the one who has experience in this so you can choose…’ “Not really.’ Joey laughed dryly. “And please don’t…” she hesitated. Dawson waited, listening. “Don’t bring it up.” She finished softly.
Pacey? Or the fact she wasn’t a virgin? Dawson wondered. Well, whatever it was, Dawson agreed. “I’m sorry,’ he apologized.
“Its fine. Look.” Joey picked up a random box. “This one looks good. Nothing fancy.” “Yeah. I think we can do without glow in the dark…that’s actually a very disturbing thought, that Halloween toy ‘glow stick’ we used to play with comes to mind,” Dawson added as an afterthought.
Joey giggled, and couldn’t stop, so while Dawson bought the normal ones, the coke and some gum, Joey went back out to the car and laughed into her hand thinking of…well, the glow stick.
But after a moment she began to get turned on and she stopped laughing. “Wow.’ Dawson said wryly, getting into the car and handing her the bag. “I’m glad you’ve gotten rid of *that* image.”
“Not exactly,” Joey replied. It was worth it to see Dawson blush.
He chuckled and raked a hand through his hair, starting the ignition. “Okay.” Joey blushed as well. But when Dawson’s hand settled on her knee, and then her thigh, she stopped feeling embarrassed. It just felt right.
****
“I should have known.” Mitch said, not angrily, but a little accusingly, in Joey’s direction. He loved her like a daughter but *knowing* she was the reason for his son’s waywardness, Mitch couldn’t help but feel a little betrayed.
They had been there less than three hours, but Mitch and Gale had almost immediately guessed what was happening—Dawson holding Joey’s hand, not mentioning where they might be sleeping in the hopes it would of course be together, a small smile here…and Mitch had put it all together.
Mitch, Dawson, Joey and Gale were standing in the kitchen. Gale sighed and went to chop up some onions. Joey quickly went to help out.
“Leave her alone, dad, this has nothing to do with her.” Dawson argued back. “That’s a load of bull,” Mitch thundered. “Mitch…’ Gale warned. Lily, in her highchair, seemed to sense what was going on and shrunk down.
Joey dropped the cutting knife and went to pick her up, murmuring in her little ear. Gale watched, a dreamy smile on her face.
“I am not going to talk about it anymore. We just…can’t.’ Dawson said quietly, and he left the room.
“I’m sorry, Joey,” Mitch said, walking over and sitting down at the kitchen table. “But I think my son is making a mistake.” Joey cracked a small smile. “Mr. Leery…if he is making a mistake, he’ll find out by himself.” Mitch looked up at her, but said nothing.
****
Joey went to look for Dawson afterwards. Mitch had cooled down, and was helping Gale prepare dinner. She found him outside, on one of the deckchairs.
“Dinner’s almost ready,” she said gently, sitting down next to him. Dawson grimaced. “Its not that I agree with him, its that I hate to think I’ve disappointed him. He’s done so much for me.”
“I know.” Joey put a reassuring hand on his arm. “Just tell him that. He’s much calmer now.”
“And…’ Dawson turned to her and smiled slowly. “Its kind of…embarrassing to admit I’ve made my decision based on a girl.” “Oh?’ Joey felt her heart beating faster.
“Not just any girl,” he added, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She closed her eyes for a moment.
“But I got fired. I hated L.A…and I missed my friends.” He turned his head upwards. “And I like to go by instinct. And my instinct tells me my life here isn’t done yet. There’s something I have to do here, on the East Coast.’ He gestured around him.
Playing with the hair on the nape of his neck, Joey gazed at him. She then kissed him, slowly, and passionately, her tongue melding into his, leaving her intentions perfectly clear as she moved her hand down to rest on the crotch of his jeans, where he was already hard.
“Jo…” Dawson murmured, breathing raggedly, “Oh Jo I want you so much…’
”Me too,” Joey whispered, kissing him again, running her hands through his hair and down his back, loving it as he slipped his hands under her jacket and under her shirt, to feel the bony smoothness of her ribcage.
“Dawson…Joey…’ Gale stopped, embarrassed when she saw her son and Joey wrapped up in a heated kiss. “Dinner…’ she said, flustered, rushing back up the porch steps, swinging the door open wide. “Now she’ll definitely make sure I sleep in the spare room, Joey joked.
***
Dinner was peaceful, until dessert when Mitch started up again. “No offense, Joey, sweetie,” he said, turning briefly to her. “But Dawson. You can’t leave your lifelong dreams in L.A for a, a girl, b, friends and family who will *always* be around. We’re not going anywhere!”
“How do you know?” Dawson retorted. “Look, I just want to hang around for a while. Make my own way. Boston is a great place for film school and movie making—look at all the actors and directors who came from Boston…”
“We’re not talking about Boston. We’re talking about someone running away from not only their dreams, but their responsibilities. Joey is a great girl, Dawson, but she might…” Mitch hesitated. He didn’t like coming between them, but… “Might what?” Dawson said.
“She’s going in a different direction from you. Less than three months ago, Joey, you were heavily involved with Pacey Witter. How can you turn around and suddenly decide you’re in love with my son too?” Mitch prodded the table with the back of his spoon. Mitch was just telling…well, his version of the truth.
Joey opened and shut her mouth, and then went pale and just stared down at her meal. Gale reached across the table and took Joey’s hand, glaring at Mitch. But Dawson looked between Joey and Mitch, suddenly feeling a cold, dark feeling creeping up inside him. A feeling he hadn’t felt since he saw Joey run off to be with Pacey.
“Excuse me.’ Dawson got up and left the room.
****
“Dawson…” Joey ran after him. He had gone outside and was heading for his car. There was a slight drizzle, and the air felt cold. Joey wrapped her arms around herself and shivered.
“Dawson?” she approached the car. He got in and started the ignition, seemingly ignoring her. Well, fine. Joey opened the door and jumped in.
’What are you doing?” Dawson asked quietly. “I’m going with you.” Joey replied stubbornly. “Because I’m with you. Not Pacey. Okay?” she stared straight ahead.
****
He drove them to one of their old favorite spots, by the water, near the Ruins. It was just on private property, but they had enough gateway to get out of there if the wealthy owners happened to be back from Aspen and were set to bust people. It was usually secluded in the fall. Rain fell in syndicated sheets on the car, and Joey, thinking they were just going to drive around for a while, or go get coffee or something turned to him, puzzled.
“Dawson? What are we doing here?”
“Just…getting away.” Dawson was gazing at her slightly. He then leaned over and kissed her. She sighed softly into his mouth, but after a few kisses murmured, “We should go back, your parents will worry…”
“Not yet.” Dawson brought her to him, pressing his body into hers, and Joey felt like every inch of her was on fire. “We used to come here to make out,” Joey breathed between kisses, looking out the window as he kissed her neck, at the stone formations.
Dawson chuckled, then rested his forehead against hers, kissing her deeply. They kissed urgently, grappling onto each other, as though trying to prove something, but really, they were just desperate for each other. Five years of sideways looks, broken hearts, wanting, needing, accusing, waiting came out and into their kisses. Dawson slid Joey’s jacket off and she lifted his sweater, wanting, needing to feel him.
****
“So that’s what all the fuss is about,’ Dawson murmured. “Well…yes,” Joey murmured back. They were lying tangled together in the backseat, a thin throw rug wrapped around them.
“Except…’ Joey bit her lip and lifted her chin, “It’s never really been like that for me before,” she said truthfully. It hadn’t. Even though it was his first time, and his thrusts had been clumsy, he was so thorough, so loving, and so…energetic, Joey had come quite quickly, guiding him into her by holding his back and butt, just before he too came.
She kissed his neck and closed her eyes, inhaling his scent. She relaxed in his arms, as he stroked her back and neck and lifted her hair to leave kisses on her ear.
“You were amazing,” Dawson whispered, cupping her breasts from the outside of the blanket.
“I didn’t do anything,” Joey smiled.
“You did it.”
Dawson chuckled, “Its okay, you can tell the truth.”
“I am. Besides,” Joey turned and slid onto him, facing him. “For your first time, you lasted a pretty long time.”
They both laughed, and kissed.
But both of them knew it was so much more than the two of them getting off on each other, and they reveled in it. They hadn’t expected to go so far…it had just…happened. Naturally. No pre-conceived planning, or pressure.
“I like sex,” Dawson told her, as she rolled onto him, and positioned herself on him.
“You?” Joey joked. “No way.”
****
They left the next morning, but not without Mitch relenting, and hugging Dawson on his way out to the car. “Dad…’ Dawson was slightly embarrassed. “I’ve been such an ass. But you know why I have been, don’t you?” Mitch asked seriously.
“Yeah.” Dawson said. “I do.”
“We’ll talk.” Mitch waved, and he went back to put his arm around Gale and Lily. Joey kissed Gale, then Lily, and hopped into the car. “I told you it would work out,” Joey said reassuringly as they drove out onto the highway. “I know.” Dawson reached for hand. “Now, what do you say we head for the backseat?” he grinned.
Joey rolled her eyes. “Will you be making jokes about backseats forever now?” “Just for a while.” Dawson turned up the radio and gunned the engine, driving them back to
Boston.