Rating: R

Summary: Joey has a surprise…the story you didn’t see in ‘Once and Again’

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Joey’s foot nervously tapped against the table leg as she waited. A glass of water stood in front of her, and she eyed it dubiously, wishing she could order vodka on ice.

She picked up the glass to drink it, but decided not to and instead subtly looked at her reflection instead. Her hair was flat, her face was too pale and she looked tired. You’d think he’d be able to tell as soon as he saw her. She hadn’t, though. “I have the flu,” she’d told her boss Kelly, who had said lightly, “Aren’t you supposed to sneeze, then?”

It had been Audrey, her roommate who had been the one to approach the subject: “Is there a tiny possibility you might be…you know…”

“Pregnant?” Joey scoffed, downing pepto bismol, “I don’t think so. I haven’t had sex since…” Joey hesitated and Audrey had gone into her adjoining bathroom to rifle through her drawer. “Since Dawson? Another good question is, how long since your last period?”

By the time Audrey had handed Joey the ‘three for the price of 1’ pregnancy kit she was already rifling through her planner, panicking, beads of sweat forming on her forehead.

Joey sighed, long and hard and contemplated the water again.

She was about to get out her cell phone and call him when she spotted him bounding across the crowded bar floor towards her, looking fresh in jeans and a suede jacket. “Hey Jo.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek before sitting down. A waitress came over and he ordered a beer. “Want anything? Or is that vodka?” he asked, and Joey shook her head, “No, its water, I’m fine, I can’t…”

“Oh, okay…” he raked a hand through his hair and shivered, smiling at her, “It’s freezing out there. It’s September, it should be warm. You look great. You know I don’t mean that to get you into bed…” he joked, but Joey didn’t laugh. He stopped bustling around and frowned in concern at her stolid expression. “What’s up?”

“Um…I…I, uh,” Joey fidgeted with her shirtsleeve, and uncrossed and crossed her legs, not being able to look him in the eye. Just do it, her inner voice demanded crossly. Tell him already!

“I’m not feeling very well. I think we should order food.” She picked up the brown covered menu and flicked through it quickly.

“Bullshit. Joey, tell me what’s up, tell me why I think this isn’t the usual friendly dinner we sometimes have, that its something more…” he reached over and took one of her hands, and she let go of her sleeve and bit her lip hard.

“It isn’t the usual friendly dinner, you’re right. I have to tell you something.”

“Here’s your drink, sir, would you two like anything else?” the waitress asked politely, smiling indulgently at Dawson who couldn’t smile back. “No, thanks, we’re fine.” He said hastily and the waitress walked away, wondering what the good-looking couple looked so tense about.

Joey finally raised her eyes to meet his and she took a deep breath before expelling what had been on her thoughts for a week now.

“This isn’t good, Dawson…” he almost choked on his beer, and he put it down as Joey prepared to continue, “I’m pregnant. I was late like, three weeks and I didn’t even notice, can you believe it? Anyway, I went to the doctor and he said I was a month and a half along, and I’m not getting rid of it, so…I’m going to have a baby,” she let out in a whoosh of air, and Dawson stared at her in complete surprise. He let go of her hand and sat back.

“Woah,” he said under his breath. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“No, neither was I,” Joey cracked a smile and sipped her water.

“I guess…the condom broke?” Dawson questioned to both her and himself, trying to think how this could have happened.

“I guess so. Thank god it didn’t happen in college or something…” Joey shuddered, and Dawson nodded in agreement. A tiny bit of tension crackled between them, and there was silence for a moment. He leaned forward and flexed his fingers into a triangle.

“Well you know I’m here, even though we’re not... together.” Dawson took her hand again, clearing his throat.

“And I don’t know how I’ll feel in a few days, or how you’ll feel, but that doesn’t matter, because we’re best friends and we can do this.”

Joey nodded numbly, tears collecting at the corners of her eyes. “I know.”

“You know what? I don’t feel like drinking this,’ Dawson threw five dollars on the table and stood up, and Joey followed him with another smile. They walked outside into the snow.

****

The car was silent except for the drumming sound of snow and rain falling onto the roof. Dawson and Joey sat inside, just waiting, Joey looking up at the Leery house with pursed lips.

“Your mother is going to think I scandalized you,’ Joey sighed, and Dawson chuckled, opening the jeep door with a click. “You’re the one who is scandalized.”

“Come on,’ he grabbed her hand and they made a run for it.

Gale came into the hall with a broad smile, and watched as Dawson took Joey’s coat. His touch was so tender it made Gale blush. She knew exactly what this was about—as soon as Dawson had said, “Can I bring Joey?” she knew. She searched for a ring, or another telltale sign but there was none. Not yet.

She kissed Joey and led them into the living room. “Coffee? I have some freshly brewed.” “No thanks, mom…Jo?” “I’m fine.” She sat down on the large stuffed couch and looked around. Baby pictures adorned the room, and her stomach did a small jump.

“Okay…well, dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes. Norman’s gone to the store with Lily, and everyone else should be here soon…” Gale drifted around the room, and Joey sat up, looking over at Dawson, “Everyone else?”

“Yes honey, it’s a little dinner party…relatives, Dawson’s aunt and uncle and cousins are in town, and Bessie and Bodie of course.”

“Of course,” Joey repeated half-heartedly.

Gale smiled and disappeared into the kitchen. Joey turned to Dawson, “Great. We can’t tell her now.”

“I know,” Dawson frowned, sitting down next to her, “I’m sorry, I thought it was just going to be us.”

Taking Joey by complete surprise he put his hand on her tummy. “You feeling okay?”

“It still feels strange that there is something growing in me,” she said in a soft voice so Gale wouldn’t hear.

‘You know, I think I can feel it,” Dawson chuckled like a little kid, pressing her tummy as Joey watched, incredulous to this invasion.

“Okay buddy, enough,” Joey lifted his hands, managing to crack a smile. “Its enough I’m pregnant, I don’t need to realize how fat I’m going to get either.”

“Its not fat, its…baby,” Dawson argued, and Joey crossed her arms, “Wait and see.”

“This…” he pressed her stomach, which was formed into a firmer, bigger lump, “Is not fat…”

“Quit it!” Joey tried to swat him away and they ended up on the floor as Gale walked in, her eyebrows raised in bemusement.

“Lily behaves better then you two do sometimes,” she quipped, gesturing them into the kitchen. Dawson helped Joey up and they exchanged looks: that was pretty much true.

****

As Dawson helped his mother greet guests and prepare food, Joey wandered around the living room looking at photos. Lily and Dawson had both been adorable babies. The cutest one was the one of him when he was one and a half, naked, with a pot on his head and a wide smile. Joey picked up a photo hidden behind some large frames and laughed out loud—oh dear. Two mischievous faces looked up at her from a bathtub.

“Oh now weren’t we adorable,” Dawson snatched the picture from her and laughed, “I haven’t seen this since I hid it when I was fifteen before Jen…” he stopped and shrugged guiltily, and Joey gasped in mock shock, “You hid it for her?”

“Sorta. Say, we both have matching potbellies. I wonder why we stopped taking baths together? I mean, it looks like we’re having fun,” he joked, and Joey took the picture and put it behind the frames where she found it.

“Puberty,” Joey retorted. “

Hey kids! Dinner!” Gale called, and there was the sound of pattering feet. Lily burst into the living room and hurled herself at Dawson, who picked her up as she squealed.

“Hey, its my favorite girl…uh, next to Joey,” Dawson laughed, and Joey rolled her eyes.

Lily then moved to Joey and received a warm hug. “Hi sweetie.”

“Hi Joey.” Lily was so grown up—she was eight and growing, lanky and beautiful with blonde hair and soulful brown eyes, like her father’s.

“Lets go eat.” Lily grabbed both of their hands and yanked them into the dining room.

****

The table was full, chattering adults tasting Gale’s culinary specialties. Gale laid a spinach pie in front of Joey with a wide smile, “I made something special for you.” “Thanks, Gale,” Joey was touched.

It was a mini-buffet, plates and bowls being passed around for people to serve themselves, and Joey realized just how hungry she felt after almost two months of feeling like crap.

Dawson and Joey didn’t notice Gale trying to find a ring, or a hidden look—she was impatient, she wanted them to announce their engagement if it was indeed going to happen so she could celebrate already.

Dawson’s cousin Brad was eyeing Joey’s cleavage from across the table not very subtly and Dawson kicked his leg, annoyed. Brad had had a thing for Joey since he turned twelve and she was fifteen and he saw her in her bikini when she was helping Dawson film ‘sea creature from the deep.’ Dawson then realized that Brad’s father, his uncle, and his uncle’s brother were both also trying not to look obvious as they checked her out. Disgusting! She was going to be a mother. Oh god, he was going to be a father…he couldn’t be a father, he didn’t even have a father…

While Dawson fretted, Joey was talking to Bessie about her bitchy boss when Gale spoke up, loudly and clearly and the table quieted down. “Joey…I thought you hated beef and kidney.”

Joey looked down at her plate where Gale was looking, where there was a tiny smidgen of beef left after she had gobbled it all down.

“Um…I do,” Joey replied. “I just felt like eating it.”

“Oh my god.’ Gale sat down heavily, and Joey exchanged a quick glance with Dawson.

“Oh my god, you’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

Bessie gasped and Joey blushed. Dawson frowned at his mother. “Mom…this isn’t really appropriate.”

Gale recovered herself, “I’m sorry, Joey…you just took me by surprise.’

“Is it true?” Bessie asked.

Joey took a deep breath and shrugged at Dawson. “Yes.”

“I’m going to be a grandmother, aren’t I?” Gale asked in shock.

“Yep…” Joey patted Dawson’s shoulder. “You sure are.”

****

Later that evening Joey woke to a roused Dawson. She sat up in his bed and watched as he stood by his window, staring out at the moon, and then as he walked around his room, picking things up, raking a hand through his hair nervously.

“Dawson?” she said tiredly, stretching and looking over at the clock which glowed a red ‘3:00.’

“Jo…” he turned around like a deer in headlights. “I’m sorry Jo, I better go sleep in the guestroom, you need your rest…” he started to go but she called out, “Stop right there and tell me what’s bothering you! You usually sleep through anything.” He turned and sighed before sitting on the bed, rolling up the sleeves to his long sleeved sweatshirt.

“I can’t do this,’ he blurted out, and she blinked.

“I can’t be a father. I’m an immature brat. Not only did the condom I use probably have an expiry date I didn’t see because of my stupid horniness and blindness, but…I don’t even have a father…and…” Joey shushed him by putting her finger to his lips.

“Shut up, or you’ll wake your mother,” she said calmly.

He shut up and looked at her.

She looked back at him, noting the strong jaw, the large expressive eyes, eyes she could get lost in, eyes that told her everything about him. They were concerned eyes, but not scared eyes. Not yet. Dawson was stronger than he thought he was, she knew this for sure.

“Why can’t you be a father?’ she asked him quietly. “I don’t have a mother.”

He frowned at his own insensitivity.

“You’re wonderful with Lily. If anything…I…” she cleared her throat, “I should be the one worried about being a mother. I can’t do anything.”

“That’s not true,’ Dawson intercepted. “You have a degree from Worthington, you’re beautiful, you have a great job and you always have guys beating down your door.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled. “I guess I’m just… afraid ‘coz I know I shouldn’t be the father of your child. Because that means he or she will get my genes, and that’s bad.”

Joey giggled despite herself.

“And because you’ve had all these incredible boyfriends…and…Pacey is still in love with you, and I guess I feel as though what we did was a fluke, and I know this child will be perfect, but I’m not.” He took his hand away from her and furrowed his brow, “Well, I think I said everything on my mind.”

“You think?” Joey kissed his cheek tenderly. “You’ll be a wonderful father,’ she said softly. “I can’t think of anyone who I would rather have as the father of our child, than my soul mate.”

They lay in each other’s arms, smiling, content.

Then Joey sat up slightly. “The condom was expired?”

****

“This won’t do.” Dawson looked around her small apartment.

“What?”

Joey banged the heater with her pan. “Of course it’ll do.”

“Jesus, are you on slave wages?” he picked up a dead plant, and she snatched it away from him. “We live very comfortably.” “As comfortably as a mill worker. Where’s your bed?”

“Here.” Joey tapped the couch. “Mine is rolled up in the closet,” Audrey put in, materializing out of the bathroom in a bathrobe.

Dawson laughed, and then realized she was serious.

Audrey and Joey laughed at his expression.

“You’re such a snob. Just because you have some neat bachelor’s pad in Hollywood doesn’t mean you have the right to look your nose down at us. We live like the real people,” Joey argued, pointing at his chest.

“The real mill workers?”

“Funny.” Audrey giggled anyway and put the kettle on the small stove. “It just so happens I’m a crummy assistant at Ralph Lauren and Joey is a copyright editor, so we don’t earn 500 thou a year like you do.”

“I know, I’m sorry, this place actually has some…uh…charm.” He walked around the place. “I like the fact there’s just one big room. It’s…friendly.”

“We have blinds for privacy,” Audrey pointed out.

“What do you do when one of you wants to get laid?” he asked as he walked into the tiny bathroom.

“Go home to Capeside and rent a Bed and Breakfast room,” Audrey called after him and Joey whacked her arm with a newspaper. ”Audrey!”

“What? You so deserved that.”

“So the baby will go here?” Dawson came out of the bathroom carrying a soap dish.

Joey crossed her arms and glared at him and Audrey exploded into more giggles. She then grew serious. “Maybe you two should get an apartment together.”

Dawson and Joey looked at each other dubiously.

****

“Need anything else?” Dawson shrugged on his jacket and watched Joey who was sprawled on the couch, intently watching “The Practice.”

“Umm…no, radishes are fine.” “Blech,” he said as he walked out the door, and Joey called after him, “Maybe some Reece’s Pieces ice cream?”

Radishes. She’d craved them since the night they’d gone to Grams house for thanksgiving and Joey had polished off almost an entire bag—of raw radishes.

By then everyone knew. Audrey had told Jack, Jack had told Pacey, Pacey had told Andie. It was almost as embarrassing as everyone knowing about him and Jen back in college. Jack’s sly winks, Pacey’s confused, hurt expression despite the fact he tried to look ‘fine’ about it, Audrey’s knowing smile and pats on the butt. “My soon-to-be daddy” she called him. Audrey just said, “Well the child will be beautiful.” And did he mention Pacey’s looks? Dawson couldn’t even look at Pacey without feeling guilty. He knew how much Pacey still loved Joey…and yet…he tried to banish the thought.

The bigger Joey’s stomach got the fussier the group got, coming over to ‘their’ new apartment—a slightly larger place near Audrey, with Pizza and diapers. Everyone in L.A knew—on his latest film he got catcalls from friends, “Way to go!” Luckily, although he was a well-known director he wasn’t an actor so it didn’t make the glossy gossip magazines, just the newspapers, which no one read anyway, he thought.

They had discussed marriage, but had abandoned it—marriage was for romantics, and jumping into marriage because they had a baby wasn’t right. It was just two good friends sharing a baby, a mistake, a glitch, but a good glitch.

It was after all, just one night.

They had gotten carried away---they were all in town for the Fourth of July fireworks Carnival. They had danced, had a few drinks, and then had walked off by themselves as Pacey, Audrey and Jack sat on a bench and insulted everything and everyone whilst eating shrimp and drinking beer, before wondering where they had gone.

She had kissed him first—right there on the Potter front porch, her tongue and mouth and hands and everything. They had kissed for a while before going inside to continue. The sex had been absolutely mind blowing—sort of like the first time they did it back in college. Dawson thought it was because their minds were so in tune with each other, that they weren’t afraid to experiment, and so it just…worked, in the shower, on the desk, and of course, on the bed, all in the guest room of the Bed and Breakfast. He wondered which time had been ‘the’ time. The shower?

But of course, the next morning was a little awkward, and after a few days of intense analyzing they decided to just be like they were for the last seven or so years—friends. Well. They underestimated that evening, that’s for sure.

When he got back Joey was in the bath. “Your food is in the fridge,’ Dawson called from outside the bathroom. “If you can call it food…”

“Thanks Dawson…hey…come in here, feel this.”

“Okay…” he opened the door cautiously. She was naked in the tub, bubbles covering her breasts. “Its okay, we’ve both seen each other naked,” Joey chided, gesturing him over. “It’s kicking.”

“It is?” Joey grabbed his hand and put it on her naked stomach. He couldn’t help but feel a little awkward, knowing that he was getting turned on but at the same time he was getting affected about the thump-thump of the baby’s heartbeat. He was still turned on by the memories of Fourth of July.

“Isn’t that sweet?” Joey was still holding his hand. Her tummy was warm and soft under his touch, and he spied her legs, which he knew were also warm and soft and taut, and the valley between them, which was auspiciously covered by bubbles.

“Its incredible,” he said softly, looking into her eyes, and her smile softened into a look of desire. “I know…” she realized he was looking at her, realized he was affected by her, and she felt a surge of sexual power drive through her like a force. She was four months pregnant…and couldn’t remember ever feeling as sexy as she did right then, naked in a tub, with the father of her unborn baby holding her stomach, his fingers splaying out towards her thighs.

“Get in here,” she said softly, gravelly, and he nodded quickly, helping her to discard his shirt. He almost tripped when he unbuckled his pants and was relieved to be with her in the warm water, their bodies arching and molding around each other.

She moved so she was settled on top of him, her breasts falling forward so he could kiss and suck at them until she was moaning, and his hands caressed her buttocks and smooth back. Without even thinking about it she slid onto him and he held her steady with his hands on her hips and they made love, the water splashing out of the tub onto the floor and wetting their hair and faces. The gentle, wet sounds of his going in and out of her mixed with their breathy moans were the only sounds in the bathroom. He touched every bit of her, her shoulders, arms, back, stomach, face, and kissed her mouth and breasts until they slowed the pace in a frenzy of sated exhaustion.

****

“Well…” Joey had on her pink fluffy robe and was towel-drying her hair. Dawson sat behind his laptop, finishing an email to his co-producer about finance. His hair was still damp. The only way anyone would tell they had had wild sex less than half an hour ago would be the slow, ‘I can’t believe I did that’ smiles on their faces.

“That sure was an interesting experience.” She sat on his bed. He closed his laptop and turned to face her. “Sure was.”

“It was…good, it was nice,” Joey wrapped the towel around her neck and swung her legs back and forth.

“Yeah…” Dawson knew what was happening. Déjà vu. Whatever. He raised his palm before Joey could go on. “I know, it can’t happen again, just because we had sex it doesn’t mean we’re a couple now. I know…”

“Oh. Yeah, that’s right.” Joey coughed, “I guess…pregnancy makes me do…funny things. Like eating radish pies and…really wanting sex.”

He laughed.

“It sure does.”

Joey stood up and leaned down to kiss his cheek. “Do you still love me?” she whispered. “Of course I do.” He kissed her cheek in reply. “Now go and get some sleep.”

Joey yawned. “I need it.” She sent Dawson a sweet look. “Can I sleep here tonight? No funny business. Its just…I like to be cuddled after sex.”

“Sure…” he laughed, and she jumped into his bed, settling herself into the pillows.

He got up and turned off the light before getting into bed. He put his arms around her, and she was asleep within minutes. ***

Third doctor’s visit, and this time Dawson was with her. The Obstetrician, Dr Laura Martin had a habit of asking the wrong questions at the wrong time.

“And how is your sex life?” she asked seriously, holding her notepad.

“What?” Joey blinked and Dawson snorted.

The doctor smiled apologetically, “Its okay, its routine. Is there any pain when you have intercourse?”

“Um…well, we don’t…exactly…”

“We’re not like, doing it on a regular basis…”

They both spoke at the same time and Laura raised her eyebrows. “Oh…I’m sorry, I thought you were, uh…sorry.”

“That’s okay.” Joey blushed. Now she wished she could just get out of this silly gown. She was lying on what felt like an operating table, and Dawson sat on a chair next to it, looking slightly bored as Laura asked a trillion questions. Now and then he pepped up to answer stuff like, ‘Food habits?’ “Disgusting,” he’d grin. “Radish and peanut butter.”

”Well, lets have another look at this baby. You’re about six months, now, right?” “Yes.”

Laura put a blanket over Joey and lifted her gown so her stomach was exposed. “You didn’t ask about the sex last time, would you like to this time?”

Dawson nudged Joey and made a face, and Joey rolled her eyes but smiled, “Yeah, I guess so.” After a few moments of moving the mouse-thing around her tummy they saw the white angled thing, jumping, moving. Dawson moved closer, enraptured.

He couldn’t believe they were seeing their baby jumping around in there. “It’s a boy,” he said, pointing, “I think I see it’s thingy.”

Joey nudged his shoulder and Laura smiled apologetically, “No Dawson, that’s the umbilical chord…It’s a girl.”

“Doofus,” Joey said softly.

On the way back to the apartment in the car, Joey cried.

****

Audrey watched as Dawson took Joey’s coat tenderly, stopping to lean down and whisper something in her ear, something that made her smile. She was curious what their situation was—were they ‘together’ or just…together?

Pacey put his hands on Audrey’s shoulders, pressing his hard abdomen into her soft back, and leaned over to see who she was looking at—she rolled her eyes, feeling his body tense up. Someone couldn’t get over someone else. But right now…like it mattered.

She turned and pressed her cheek into his neck, murmuring, “Is dinner ready?” “Almost.” He touched her hair for a moment, and then they parted, sharing a secret smile. They were the only two in the world who knew right now what it felt to make love in the purely physical sense, they were sure of it.

She watched him leave, his tight butt flexing as he walked. She and Joey had more in common than a love for Mexican food and Jewel—they both liked the same sort of men, sensitive, missiles in bed, born and bred in Capeside…

“Audrey, hi…” Joey hugged her former roommate, feeling comfort in the familiar smell of her hair and the feel of her soft skin.

“Oh my god, Joey…” Audrey put her two hands on Joey’s expanded tummy with a look of complete amazement.

“You’re…huge.”

“I know,” Joey said ruefully, touching the material of her new red sweater.

“But you’re still beautiful,” Audrey added truthfully, looking at Dawson, “Isn’t she?” “Extremely.” He leaned down to kiss Joey’s cheek, and then he hugged Audrey tight, lifting her off the ground. They laughed together and Joey smiled, slipping past them into the kitchen to find Pacey.

He was stirring chili on the stove, and looked startled to see her, even though he knew she was staying for dinner. “Hi Pacey.” She stood in the doorway, smiling at him, before she went over to him and sampled what he was making. “Mmm…” she murmured. He couldn’t believe how lovely she looked pregnant. Glowing—like all the movies said. Dawson’s child agreed with her, her hair and eyes were shiny, the red sweater showed off her voluptuous figure, her breasts, her belly.

“Good,” she said about the chili.

“Audrey thinks it’s too spicy,” he shrugged.

“I think its fine.” She put down the wooden spoon and said lightly, “Its nice that you and Audrey have become…better friends.”

So she knew.

He shrugged again, seemingly nonchalant, as if he didn’t think about Joey, as if they didn’t date some years ago, as if he didn’t care she was having Dawson’s baby.

They didn’t see Dawson watch them, a look of interest flickering over his handsome features.

THE END Continued in "Once and Again"