Rating: R for course language

Summary: a short, cute, quirky tale told by email. ______________________________________________________________________

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: knocking da boots

**** Oh, okay, so Dawson and you were just changing for dinner. That's why he was butt naked on your bed with you on top of him, almost naked, so you could help him extract his last shed of clothing which happened to be his socks. And your tongue down his throat? That was just good grooming!

Why don't you guys admit you have a casual sex problem, and that this is due to the fact you suffer commitment, fear of hurting one another and vengeful lust issues. (I'm not a psychologist for nothing) I suggest you swallow that bit of information before you swallow any more semen, okay?

Love Audrey

____________________________________________________________________

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Knocking da boots

****

I read that in my office, and I hope to god Mr. Glasses my *supervisor* on my right didn't see the `swallowing semen' bit. For your information, I know exactly what we're doing, and that's figuring things out, before he goes to London, okay? I appreciate your concern (which has grown more and more over the past few months since you realized your true calling as a therapist�) but what we're doing is not above the usual healthy dosage of angst we've been suffering since tenth grade. Except now we see each other naked.

See you at the bar at 8, Eddie (remember him? Old boyf, about seven years ago?) is meeting me there don't tell D, he *hates* him! J.

_________________________________________________

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Casual sex!

****

So did the subject line catch your attention or what? ;-) Okay, so Audrey thinks we're having casual sex to cure `fear of abandonment?' and our `vengeful lust' issues? What did that $35,000 a year school teaching her? I don't know about you Miss Potter but the sex in question doesn't feel too casual. As for vengeful lust, well, yes, I do believe that comes into it sometimes. As you read this I am very very drunk on jello shots�I had a long�uh�meeting with Oliver Stone and Roger Avery. We're `collaborating' apparently I'm a `hot young director' ha. Anyway, you wanted my thoughts on Eddie? I HATE him. I hate the fact you slept with him, that you once kissed him and not me. I hate every single one of your boyfriends, bar Pacey, but sometimes I hate him too. But I'm not going to do anything rash. I'm too drunk. Love D

PS: So she didn't buy the `we were just changing before we went out for dinner' story?

--------------------

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: green�

Is not a good color on you, Dawson. I'm going to call you tonight, we need to discuss something before you hop on that plane to London. You promised you'd stop over in New York right? Just so you know, I bought new underwear�

------------------

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Girls

Jo, you have never been good at being subtle. I already have Louise's phone number, and I know she's gorgeous, but my life is full of women at the moment. Babysitting Amy and Lily, dealing with my sisters, my mom and her breakdown, Gale who insists on having me over for dinner at least twice a week and a special someone I think I may be more than just friends with. Give you a clue: she's blonde, like all the women I just listed.

Love Pace

--------------

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: re: Girls

What is with you and blondes????? I think I know wh*o it is tho and I'm sp ecited I can't tupe properly! Give Andie my lpve!

--------------

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Girls

Ok I'll give Andie my lpve! I'll give her more than that.

-------------

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Girls

Gross, Pace.

--------------