Best Group Tan
Real World Las Vegas cast
Worst Group Tan
The Hilton sisters
Best Tan Ruined by a Bad Outfit
Jewel
Most Orange
Christina Aguilera
Best un-tan
Kelly Osbourne
Most Likely to Liver Spot
Tara Reid
Jewel Graciously Accepts
 |
Universally acclaimed website, 'Bunny on a Stick', has presented multi-platinum singer/songwriter Jewel Kilcher with the unique and prestigious 'Bronzed Bunny Award'.
Jewel excelled in the category 'Best Tan Ruined by a Bad Outfit' for the yellow dress she wore while dancing with Beyonce at the 'Divas Concert'. Other winners include Christina Aguilera, the Hilton Sisters and Kelly Osborne.
Mr CC moderator of the
World Jewel Forum
addressed an anxious media gathering.
"Jewel is on a roll right now" Mr CC declared. "This award followed her successful entree into VH1's 'Top Celebrity Goofs' and... combined with her high ranking in the Sydney Daily Mirror's 'Ten Worst Albums', Jewel can now stand proudly alongside the likes of Paris Hilton.
"I can report report that Jewel felt both honored and truly blessed. She humbly thanked her mum and her horse as, is obviously apparent, Jewel doesn't employ fashion advisors to credit. It's been a long road back for Jewel since early '99 when she failed to be nominated for best navel by Mad TV."
"Can you tell us, Mr CC, what exactly is a 'Bunny on a Stick' award?" probed 'A Current Affair's' Jana Wendt.
"Unlike the common Grammy, Emmy, Oscar or other such trivial awards, the prestigious 'Bronzed Bunnies' are truly exclusive. So exclusive in fact, that most people on the planet haven't heard of them. They are considered, at least by by Jewel's management, to be the Holy Grail of excellence. And... judging by Jewel's previous outfits", Mr CC optimistically added, it's quite conceivable that she could be winning this award for many years to come."
"Mr CC, are you expecting Jewel to receive any more prestigious accolades?"
"Well, it's only a matter of time before her absurd hairstyles are formally recognized... yes, Jewel's management are quietly confident Jewel could achieve Olympic status on that account."
"Mr CC, Mr CC... will Jewel be performing another duet with Jessica Simpson?"
"Let's seriously hope not."
Image right
Performing live at the 'Bronzed Bunny Awards'...
Jewel clearly demonstrates that the winning outfit was no fluke.
CREDITS
Article: A dubious collaboration between American correspondent Mr CC & The Intrepid Prez
'Crazy Jewel' Image (Top): Courtesy of Tracy who delights in contributing hideous photos of Jewel
Image (Right): 'Yet Another Absurd Outfit' contributed by Emilie of French site Jewelbox
Bunny on a Stick url: http://www.bunnyonastick.com/bunnytalk/news/2003/0805_tan.shtml
Code : Allyson & Justin
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