Interview with Jana Wendt: Australian 'A Current Affair'
Sydney reporter Jana Wendt caught up with multi-platinum lyricist Jewel Kilcher, at the Jack Daniels distillery in Lynchburg Tennessee, to discuss Jewel's commercial contract with the legandary distillery.
"Actually it's not a bourbon", volunteered Jewel, "Jack Daniels prefer to describe it as, 'a smooth Tennessee sipping whiskey'... I like that... it has a pioneering ring about it, romantic don't you think?"
"Yes Jewel... err, it certainly is. Now, I hear that you've cancelled all of your commercial contracts with your previous sponsors."
"Never again. From here on it's product placement", Jewel replied, "my songs have always been lyrically based... and now, two of my best songs are associated with ordinary commercial drivel.
"It was a drastic mistake... I don't know whatever came over me." Jewel continued, "when my fans hear 'This Way' they no longer recall the title track from my third album, they think of Canon cameras and their stupid printers."
Jewel took another little swig from her flask and continued, "and what's worse is, 'Intuition', a satirical composition which sends up offensive commercialism, is now associated with... well, with shaving hairy legged women. Never again, I've since fired my promotions manager."
Jewel politely offered Ms Wendt a social nip but Wendt declined. Jewel then proceeded to explain her current decision.
"Product placment is the direction advertising is moving in these days, so I've struck up a little arrangement with Jack Daniels. I don't have to actually sing about the product... it's sort of a... a subliminal thing... you know... much like the Coke promo in the Kelly Rowland movie."
"Subliminal?", questioned Ms Wendt, "do you consider having Jack Daniels blazened across your tits subliminal?"
"Oh yes... they provide me with these cute little tops... rather sexy, don't you think? Of course I receive a little extra if I wear them at concerts. Yeah, the standard arrangement... like when Shakira has a little sip of Pepsi between songs."
Jewel relaxes at the Jack Daniel's distillery --- while Shakira pomotes Pepsi in Zimbabwe or wherever.
Asked whether this might send out the wrong message to impressionable young teenagers, Jewel, somewhat annoyed responded, "I'm not responsable for every mother's child, why do people always expect artists to be role models to their children? If parents can't keep their children away from drugs and hard liquor then maybe they weren't responsible enough to have children in the first place."
"Nah no..." Jewel added with a notably delicate burp, "I won't allow anyone to lay their cute little guilt trips on me.
"Anyway Jana, I'm sorry but I have to cut this interview a little short... I have an appointment shortly with other promotional people"
Jewel rose rather unsteadily to her feet and said to the blur that she assumed was Jana Wendt, "here Jana, have a little freebee to take home to your husband."
"Thanks Jewel, but he doesn't drink."
"Then have one of these cute little tops... and, if you wear it on air, I'm sure Ol' Jackie D would afford you a little finacial appreciation."
Jewel's minders then carried Jewel off to meet with the awaiting Marlboro representatives.
"No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from."
Jewel Kilcher: Life Uncommon
