Blender pics have little impact
Jewel Kilcher's fans were outraged when Official Jewel Forum moderator Kiera Bird refused to register an official protest when the Alaskan singer-songwriter failed to feature in VH1's 'Hottest 100 Celebrities'.
Ms Bird's inaction over this latest poll has left indignant fans across the globe dumbfounded.
Staunchly defending her position, Ms Bird replied to probing questions from 'Rolling Stone' magazine, "It's my considered opinion that Jewel Kilcher is a woman of substance... far above the undignified surveys that VH1 persist with conducting. Jewel is both a lyricist and singer of considerable note and... it is to her credit that she is not featured in such mindless and superficial trivia."
Only when informed by the ASPCJ that Jewel had rated a poorly 176,591 (only two places above Linda Blair's classic portrayal as Megan) did Ms Bird concede to, "Make enquiries."
Fellow moderator, Lissa was more forthright... "I've already made my thoughts perfectly clear to VH1, there's simply no question about it... Jewel should rank at least ten positions above Ms Blair!"
1. Jessica Simpson.
3. Christina Aguilera
5. Jennifer Lopez
15. Janet Jackson
20. Michelle Branch
32. Maria Carey
36. Britney Spears
49. Kylie Minogue
71. Victoria Beckham
Hot 100 VH1 and Maxim 1 Jessica Simpson 2 Beyonce Knowles 3 Christina Aguilera 4 Anna Kournikova 5 Jennifer Lopez 6 Mischa Barton 7 Rebecca Romijn-Stamos 8 Paris Hilton 9 Jessica Alba 10 Halle Berry 11 Eve 12 Carmen Electra 13 Scarlett Johansson 14 Brittany Murphy 15 Janet Jackson 16 Kim Smith 17 Angelina Jolie 18 Keira Knightley 19 Kirsten Dunst 20 Michelle Branch 21 Elisha Cuthbert 22 Cameron Diaz 23 Josie Maran 24 Portia de Rossi 25 Maggie Gyllenhaal 26 Kate Hudson 27 Nicole Richie 28 Shannon Elizabeth 29 Ashanti 30 Sara Foster 31 Jessica Biel 32 Mariah Carey 33 Gwen Stefani 34 Uma Thurman 35 Pamela Anderson 36 Britney Spears 37 Krista Allen 38 Liv Tyler 39 Amber Arbucci 40 Shania Twain 41 Gisele Bundchen 42 Brooke Burke 43 Charlize Theron 44 Kate Bosworth 45 Liz Phair 46 Paige Butcher 47 Ana Hickmann 48 Kelis 49 Kylie Minogue 50 Amber Brkich 51 Gina Gershon 52 Mya 53 Naomi Watts 54 Shakira 55 Catherine Bell 56 Kelly Hu 57 Anna Faris 58 Rachel Bilson 59 Eva Mendes 60 Monet Mazur 61 Rachel Perry 62 Tricia Helfer 63 Shannyn Sossamon 64 Fergie 65 Larissa Meek 66 Brooke Burns 67 Christina Applegate 68 Rachel Hunter 69 Milla Jovovich 70 Monika Kramlik 71 Victoria Beckham 72 Cameron Richardson 73 Mandy Moore 74 Bianca Kajlich 75 Eva Green 76 Elena Lyons 77 Paulina Rubio 78 Vanessa Marcil 79 Zooey Deschanel 80 Rachel Nichols 81 Daisy Fuentes 82 Thalia 83 Blu Cantrell 84 Dido 85 Maria Menounos 86 Victoria Pratt 87 Christina DaRe 88 Lindsay Price 89 Rosario Dawson 90 Jill Wagner 91 Eva Longoria 92 Melissa Howard 93 Nadine Velazquez 94 Giuliana DePandi 95 Brody Dalle 96 Tamie Sheffield 97 K.D. Aubert 98 Missi Pyle 99 Amanda Swisten 100 Tamala Jones
2. Beyonce
4. Anna Kournikova
10. Halle Berry
17. Angelina Jolie
22. Cameron Diaz
34. Uma Thurman
41. Gisele Bundchen
54. Shakira
176,593. Linda Blair
This noble society will keep Kilcherians informed of any further developments.
We're quite sure Jewel's moderators will eventually unite and ensure that justice is done.
Justin: The Astonishingly Intrepid Prez
"In the end, only kindness matters" - Jewel Kilcher
