Lois (as she opens door): "Are you my valentine?"

Ned (comes inside carrying a box and a bottle of wine): "With all the trimmings." (they kiss)

Ned: "Don't be rash because what's in this box came directly from Brooklyn. I'm here to gratify your every desire."

Lois (opening the box): "Cheesecake?

Ned: "Mmhm."

Lois: "Honest Brooklyn cheesecake? Oh this is serious gratification!"

Ned: "Believe it-uh-uh, get some plates."

Lois: "I've died and gone to heaven!"

Ned: "Yes. Saint Peter here we come!"

Ned (cutting slices of cheesecake): "This is your piece."

Lois: "Your piece is bigger."

Ned: "I'll give you ten percent since you're my manger."

Lois: "Okay."

Ned: "That's more like fifteen."

Lois: "It's a deal."

Ned: "Now chew slowly."

Lois: "That's right, you gotta savor this stuff."

Ned: "That's right. Let it dissolve in your mouth."

Lois: "Who would've ever thought you were a cheesecake maven?"

Ned: "I guarantee you life with me will be full of surprises."

Lois: "Surprises like that I can deal with...hey, what's this?"

Ned: "What's what?"

Lois: "Look. Tin foil." (Holds up a piece of tin foil from inside the cheesecake and Ned takes it from her.)

Ned: "Ugh, that's disgusting! I think maybe we have a lawsuit here."

Lois: "Wait, wait, wait. Let me see that. Let me see it. Let me see."

Ned: (Handing it to Lois): "Just don't destroy the evidence."

Lois: "No...there's something in it." (She opens it and finds a ring) "Holy mackeral! Ya think it's stolen or something?"

Ned: "I doubt it."

Lois: "You? Is this real? Holy mackeral!"

Ned: "You already said that."

Lois: "Oh...are these real rubies?"

Ned: "It's your birthstone. I checked." (He puts it on her finger) "Happy Valentine's Day, Mrs. Ashton."

Lois: "I don't know what to say."

Ned: "Wear this as a token of my undying love." (They hug)

(When it comes back from the commercial, they're kissing)

Ned: "You like my presents?"

Lois: "What do you think?"

Ned: "Thinking is the furthest thing from my mind."

Lois: "Oh wait, before you completely zone out, I have a Valentine's Day gift for you too. But I gotta warn you, it kind of pales in comparison."

Ned: "Nothing about you pales in comparison to anyone or anything." (He opens the gift and pulls out a picture frame) "Is this the Cyclone at Coney Island?"

Lois: "Yeah."

Ned: "What did you call it? A metaphor-"

Lois: "For life. Especially ours. Talk about your ups and downs."

Ned: "No more downs. We're gonna get them to stop the ride at the top and we'll spend the rest of our lives up here in the clouds." (They start to kiss but Lois pulls away) "What did I say?"

Lois: "Life is life, ya know? It's not some kind of suspended animation. You've got me to the point where I think I'd die if the bottom dropped out from under us again."

Ned: "Well then we won't let it happen, will we?" (They kiss again)