Becoming Pen Pals

"We couldn’t move any slower without leaving the country and becoming pen pals."

(Ned is standing on the stage at the Outback watching Lois. She is sitting at a table biting her nails)

Ned: (walks over and sits down) If you break it, you’re gonna hate yourself.

Lois: Easy for you to joke.

Ned: What’s the problem Lois? Sound check went great, the speakers are gonna be just fine. Brenda’s gonna be back here any moment with the pedal. What’s up?

Lois: Do you ever look beyond the next five minutes?

Ned: Well from where I’m sitting everything seems to be pretty terrific. Speakers are just a minor setback.

Lois: Well did you ever think I was referring to something maybe a little more cosmic than the speakers?

Ned: What? Me? Have I done something?

Lois: No, it’s me. I uh..I went to Brooklyn yesterday to see my Ma and Pops.

(Lois walks over to the bar, Ned follows)

Ned: And what happened? What did they say?

Lois: Not what I wanted to hear. The upshot is, that I think that uh, I’ve been moving a bit to fast, with us.

Ned: To fast? Lois we couldn’t move any slower without leaving the country and becoming pen pals. Now where’s your coat?

Lois: Behind the bar. Why?

Ned: (He gets her coat) Because if you think we’re moving to fast, obviously we need to have a talk, in private.

Lois: You know what, I can’t leave the band right now.

Ned: Lois, I’m looking beyond the next five minutes. Come on.

(They go outside)

Ned: OK. First of all, I completely understand your parents advising you to be cautious of me. Because their your parents, and that’s their job. And in their eyes, I am unredeemable, I guess forever. But, they haven’t been around this past month. They haven’t seen how we’ve been reconnecting. So please, don’t let you’re parents’ attitudes shut down what’s been happening right here, between us.

Lois: You know they know me pretty well.

Ned: But they don’t know me. And since you gave me a second chance, I haven’t let you down have I?

Lois: So far.

Ned: All you had to do was give me the benefit of the doubt, and I came through for you. Right?

Lois: I guess.

Ned: Please. Don’t stop now. (He moves closer) Just keep you warm.

Lois: You know, when I look at it from their point of view, I can’t help remembering all the lousy things you pulled on me.

Ned: I know. And I hate myself for it. And I swear, I will never ever do it again. We don’t have any reason now not to be totally open and honest with each other. Don’t you know I will do anything for you Lois, anything. Don’t you know that?

Lois: I’m trying.

(Katherine walks by)

Katherine: (in her usual bitchy way) Oh look, it’s Ned, and his flavor of the month.

(Lois is ready for a "kat" fight)

Ned: Lois, just ignore her.

Lois: One of these days she is going to push the wrong button.

Ned: Not if you don’t let her.

Lois: You’re right.

Ned: (in that adorable smirk) Of course I’m right. Although, I’m flattered as hell.

Lois: You know this cold is not good for your chords. Come on, come on, come on.

(They go back inside the Outback.)