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As many of us do, for whatever reason, I logged onto this little box because I was bored, lonely, and for fun. My reasons for staying at first were I was a single mom, living in a small town, knew every bachelor in town and either had dated them in high school and I wasn�t interested them, or didn�t date them and still wasn�t interested. As you can see there wasn�t much to do where I lived in North Carolina. I stay now for two reasons, I�m addicted first and foremost and second I have some people that I talk to on here that are very dear to me.
When I first logged on I was very cynical when I saw people talking about how they loved someone they never met. And here is a surprise, I was very outspoken in my views, so much so that someone I�m very close to now, �Hubby CE�, actually couldn�t stand me. Yeah, I know there is a surprise, Jet outspoken, since I�m so quiet and laid back. (S)
Funny to me now, as I have truly learned it is very possible to love someone and never lay eyes on them, except via a photograph. That you can hurt for someone when you know you have wronged them unintentionally or that they are in pain for reasons of their own. More importantly, a hard lesson I have learned is that you can get hurt by those that you have come to trust and love, as well as hurt them.
As you can tell, I have changed my views on what can and cannot happen with people on the Internet for many obvious reasons. If they aren�t so obvious I�ll just post a few of my reasons.
A. I married someone I met on the net and in wcool non-the less.
B. I have a few friends online that I have learned to trust and respect their advice and opinions on personal matters.
C. There is one that means the world to me and I would move heaven and earth for should this person ask.
D. There is so much here on the Internet, which can cause problems to those relationships one has managed to build.
As with anything in life, the Internet is a place where people grow together and in many cases grow up. In the years I have logged onto this little box, no matter how much I think I know about myself, I still continue to learn more and even learned that I had to grow up.
If only some that I know who frequent this box would also learn that valuable lesson just maybe happiness could be found all around. Yeah, I know there is a pipe dream if ever I read one.(S)
In the media, the Internet has been given a great deal of bad press, when it comes to building relationships. We all know that there are people on the Internet whose only purpose is evil. I honestly think that is why we are so skeptical when we first meet someone new on here.
However, the one's reading this page also know, you can meet your mate for life, the love of your life, soul mate, and even your best friend for life. But you'll never know until you hit that little button on your desktop for connecting to the Internet. One never knows until they take a chance with someone who lights up on their screen.
I guess this is the reason I have never understood why people choose to lie about themselves or try and mislead other people into thinking bad of others. The back stabbing, intentional need to cause others pain, and crossing the internet lines are something that have always bothered me and have hit way too close to home to my family and myself lately.
As in real life there are rules that you just don�t break. On the internet, if those rules are broken it can literally cause one danger in their life, either by their own doing or by someone else trying to hurt someone on the internet via words, but take it to a higher level. Let me explain, we all have people we talk with on the internet that are in our real lives, either you use to live closely to one another and the internet is a way of keeping contact without paying the high cost of long distance. You live close to the people you talk with, visit in their home and vise versa, or you have just talked with an individual for so many years and built a trust and admiration for one another that personal information is past between you. The line that should never be crossed is releasing any type of personal information. It is dangerous for both that person and their family. This has recently happened to my family by a person whom we thought was a friend, one who has been in our home and we in theirs.
Without our permission, and for whatever reason they deemed appropriate, issued out our private information. I�m sorry this is unacceptable. I�m an adult, I choose to log onto the Internet, go to adult chat rooms to talk and eventually build friendships. I made that decision as an adult, my children did not, and for someone to issue our private information to people we do not know is inexcusable and for me unforgivable. For they have taken my families safety away from my control and what angers me even further is that they found it funny.
For whatever reason, whether because they think it is �fun�, because they trust people more than I, because of jealousy, or out of plain inconsideration they hurt me. No excuse can be given for the wrong that was done to my family and myself.
If you have read any of the pages about me, then you will know that I worked in a prison. What always got me in trouble was being outspoken. (You know, that rare part of my personality.) Inmates would express their anger and plot revenge on others who stole from them or spread rumors of them on the compound. This never made sense to me, as they aren't incarcerated because they missed Sunday school. The penalties for getting in trouble within a prison are high, and prisoners need to consider that seriously before they act.
Most of the inmates that I had daily contact with are ones that robbed, raped and murdered. In my line of work, I had the chance to talk with the inmates and get their views of what, if anything, they would do differently, if they had any regret of what crime it is they committed and would they change their way of life should they ever be released. I'm not saying that inmates aren't smart, further from the truth; I've talked with some very intelligent inmates in my past working experience, as well as some very good safety points from them as to "protect"myself.
The comparison that comes to my mind as a result of my experience with the prisoners is that those of you who choose to thoughtlessly hurt someone through the Internet need to seriously consider the consequences. Would you feel the situation was so funny if the tables had been turned and your personal information had been released?
From this, a situation developed out of all that has transpired, due to my inability to control my anger. I took out my anger on a completely innocent person that is very dear to me. This is a problem to which I will never forgive myself for as I hurt this person not to mention the anger the person feels towards me at this moment in time.
If only I could turn back time and re-evaluate before sending an email, which truly was only to inquire of the information passed, the email in question would have never been sent.
It isn�t that the person I hurt is someone I do not trust, that couldn�t be any further from the truth. This person I would trust with my life, my children�s life as well as my dearly beloved dogs. What I did is inexcusable. I just only pray that I can find away to explain why I was so angry about a situation I myself, or my husband do not understand.
I will state here, should that person read this page, I�m truly sorry for any anger and hurt I have caused you. I was wrong and you are dearly loved and trusted.
Now, moving along, when you find a person you talk with online that you feel you can trust to reveal private information about yourself, example, phone number, icq number, address and photo�s, just because there may be a falling out or you feel jealousy towards the person and want to cause them pain the above mentioned examples should never be issued out to ANYONE. No matter if you know the person you are speaking with knows the other. You cannot give out personal information for many reasons trust being the most important issue, but more important the danger it may hold for the person and/or their family.
When you are put in a position as I was, where it calls into question one�s loyalty to you, I will use a quote from someone very dear to me and the truth it speaks is volumes: Always remember the source of the information, to whom it is about, and most importantly what type of relationship and trust has been built. Most importantly, think before you type and hit send!!!! Lord, Heed my warning on that account.
Regardless of that statement I believe all parents tell their children when their feelings get hurt, �Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you.� HA!! Is that not false information or what, I honestly believe I would rather be hit by sticks and stones than to hear painful words with my ears or read the pain via email and/or icq. No matter how you look at it words hurt and cause the worst type of pain, for the words are never forgotten and are never erased from the heart. Yes, on the internet our only form of contact are words, but I've learned the hard way, when typing in a chat room, icq or email, however, you have contact with that special friend or "special someone" always be careful when you are angry of what you say and how you say it, because no amount of apology is going to erase the initial hurtful words already written, no matter how much you regret them ever being uttered. Yeah, I know surprising coming from me, huh?
Even I can learn a lesson and I learn a very valuable one and one to which I never had to learn at this person's expense. Yet the flip side to this coin is this, where words can hurt, words can also give comfort and love. Why are there so many �close� Internet friends and long lasting �strong� relationships built on the Internet if that isn�t true. Bottom line is this: words are powerful and sometimes more powerful than actions. They can be used to show one you love them,respect them and/or admire them, but they can also be used for very hurtful vindictive purposes.
For my friends on here that knew something was wrong with me, but never knew what, thank you for your support and trying to cheer me up you were great. For my husband, thank you for giving me the support and trying to convince me those things would work out.
If I could go back in time, things said could be erased, and all would be right in the world, but no one can go back in time can they, all they can do is try and correct a wrong.
We all get comfortable and feel a sense of safety when we go places for a long period of time. Yet sometimes, that sense of safety is false because deep down I believe, to include myself, all any of us are doing is trying to find trustworthy loyal friends to whom we have something in common. Yet, just as I have done, we sometimes pick one or more that have nothing but harm to offer and we only find out the hard way.
I hope that someone understands how I feel and also that maybe it might save someone from being hurt as I have been and I have caused on this little box.
**Please note and please respect me on this � names of my experience are not open for discussion � please do not ask and please do not try and speculate as you will more than likely be wrong. Only the people closest to me know of what and whom I speak and they are few � it is not open for discussion**
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