love

IT'S ALL ABOUT HIS LOVE     ( Note: see new Post Script at end)

After I had been a Christian for about 15 years, I realized something was missing from my Christian walk. I had gone through so many trials while learning (How Faith Works, How Deliverance Works, How Prosperity Works, etc.) ; and I was teetering on being cynical and bitter because of my pain. My compassion for others was half-hearted to say the least. I was still waiting for most of my prayers for myself to manifest in my life.
One day, I was praising the Lord (listening to an Amy Grant tape) and I listened to the words of the song 'My Fathers Eyes'. In short, the person was telling people that when she died, she wanted people to remember her for their being able to see Jesus in her eyes. Wow!!!
It hit me like a lead pipe what I was lacking! I, too, wanted people to remember me as being like Jesus and having His Love in me.
In fact, I didn't just want a few people to remember me in that way..., I wanted all people I came in contact with to see Jesus in 'my eyes'.
I studied Jesus's life in the gospels and His acts in the Epistles. What stood out the most about Jesus that made Him different, was His Love and His mercy (forgiveness). I got on my knees and asked Jesus to let me see all people through His eyes of compassion and to let me feel and experience His Love for all people.
Remember, whatever you ask God in faith, He will do for you. That meant that first Jesus had to teach me His mercy (forgiveness). It also meant more trials in which Jesus taught me and expected me to forgive -- even the most unforgivable. The lesson was very hard -- but I learned that the first rule of forgiveness was that I could not react any longer to my feelings when dealing with other people.
I had to train myself to react according to scripture and what Jesus did.
I was not always successful in this, but I also learned how to be quick to admit I was wrong and to set things right. Better late than never!!!
I had to learn obedience to God's word. I had to swallow my pride and say: "Except for God's mercy and grace, there go I". It meant I had to see some ugly things about me and I had to change.
Over the next five years, I practiced mercy. Just when I thought I had gone through the worst I could go through, Jesus decided to let me 'feel' His Love for another human being. (just one person)
He pointed out a young man to me and told me He wanted me to pray for this man (I will call him Johnny for this article). He told me the man was truly hurt, sick, maybe dying, and could become suicidal and die in his sin if I did not have compassion on him and show him God's Mercy and Love.
Then Jesus showed me Johnny's heart. On the outside, there was black 'goop' covering his whole heart. (This was evil spirits and disease which were attacking him)
The 'goop' cleared away and I saw many 'walls of defense' Johnny had built around his heart because of pain (emotional and physical). Somehow, I started moving through the walls. One by one, the walls fell and I felt the man's pain as each wall crumbled and fell. Horrible, too much for me to bear. I felt alienated from God and alone (I was feeling his emotions). He felt noone cared about him. 'I will care for him' I told the Lord! 'Help him'!!!
Suddenly, this man whom I had only known casually for a few months became precious to me. The only way I can describe it closely is how I felt when I held my 'new born' babies for the first time. You count the fingers and toes and know every molecule of that baby. Every move they make is a wonder to you! When they smile, you are happy. When they cry, you feel their pain. When they are in danger, you place your own body and life between them and the danger. You can even sense when they are in danger.   Their vomit and dirty diapers are not too gross to endure with love and concern. Every thing you own, you will willingly give for this small person in your care. Nothing they do, nomatter how horrible, is too bad. You even love their faults.
This was in a VERY SMALL WAY, how I felt for Johnny, the man who Jesus placed His Love in me for, and put into my care.
I was now feeling Jesus's Love for him. Never had I felt so close to another human being. I would risk everything I was for this man during the next year and a half. And, I would fight for him until he was whole and turned towards Jesus! Every decision I made included the welfare of this person, whom Jesus loved so much! (Jesus loves each of us this much and much more)   Please press link to the left for the rest of the story!.....