Dear Heavenly Father,
In my broken spirit, You call to me. You remind me that I'm not alone, that I can't do this on my own. I try so hard to keep myself going, but it's in vain. Only You can keep this fire alive in my heart. Only You can mend my heart. To fix my heart and soul, they must be broken and washed in tears. You weep with me as my tears sweep down my face to cover my heart. Our tears mingle with Your blood and wash my heart; they make it new. Oh Father, You allow me to be hurt so that I can see just how much You love me, so that I can see just how cleansing Your blood is. Your mercy washes over me and gives me a new heart. Oh how many times have You made my heart new? Oh how many times have You dressed the wounds I have given myself? How many times have I turned away to find my only solice in You, Father? In Your love alone do I find comfort, friendship, forgiveness, and Love. You alone can fill my desires and make them realities. My dreams are no longer dreams when I'm in Your hands. Father, renew my passion for You. I weep for having run from You. I ran and ran only to find Your arms open wide in front of me. I ran to find You still there, not pursuing me, but waiting. When You saw me hurting and needing You, You saw me a long way off and came running. You ran to me, and met me in my pain. You renewed me and showed Your love to me by showering Your grace and mercy on my heart. I love You, Lord. I lift my voice to You. Purify my worship. My soul longs for my worship to be clear from these bonds that I've given and taken for myself, willingly. You are all that I need. When I am weak, I will trust in only You. I love You, Lord.
August 30, 2002. Sarah Russell
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