There once was a very lonely platypus named Fred (credit to Allison Hughes for stealing the name of her very famous character). He felt left out because of the fact that he wasn't a marsupial like most of the other animals in Australia. One day, he decided he desperately needed a friend. He had heard of someone named Jesus who helped people. He decided to call Jesus through one of His many hotlines (accidentally calling Miss Cleo once). Jesus appeared to him as a burning eucalyptus tree and gave Fred special powers. These special powers gave Fred the ability to turn into anyone he wanted to as long as he praised Jesus and the Almighty Lord. The only way Fred could keep these powers was to have pink magic Jesus hair and change his name to Tammy Fae Baker. Jesus didn't have many extreme fundamentalists in Australia and decided that a pink-haired maladjusted playtpus named after the wife of a fraudulent televangelist would be a perfect spokesman for Jesus and Jesus-associated products. Now Fred has the power to morph into whatever he wants, but he must always keep the pink hair.
YES! IT'S TRUE! Fred has laid eggs that will become the rabid maladjusted Tammy Fae Baker platypi! We will all have to pray that they will have pink hair. |
