“Well hello, hello,” the voice of Angel booms. He’s somehow entered the kitchen without an invitation.

“I was Buffy’s lover remember, I’ve been here before.” He seems to read my mind, not at all unlike him. His words make me angrier than I like to admit. He was her lover. In that instant I just want to kill the bastard!

“Get out.” I order him, knowing he’ll refuse.

“Hmm…no! I think I’ll just stick around until Buffy gets back.” He sneers.

“You don’t leave, I’ll throw you out.” I threaten him.

“I’m not afraid of you!” he scoffs.

“No. But are you afraid of me?” I hadn’t even noticed Buffy enter through the back door, and now she stands beside me, arms crossed, ready to face Angelus.

“Good, you’re here! I was getting bored with this peroxided weakling.”

“Weakling?! I’ll show you…” I pounce but don’t get very far as Buffy holds me back the back of the neck.

“Spike, take Dawn into the living room and keep her there.” She tells me. I have half a mind to fight her on it and to stay and fight with her, but seeing Dawn’s frightened face, I know I have to do as I’m told.

I take Dawn’s hand and quickly lead her into the living room. I seat her down on the couch and then sit beside her. We suddenly hear a crush from the other room and Dawn whimpers, poor pet, so I wrap my arm around her, trying to console her. It’s amazing how this young girl can mean so much to me, hell; lately I’ve been feeling like she’s my own sister. She comes to me when she needs to talk, or just to escape reality for a while. She’s always there when I’m feeling lonely to talk to and she likes hearing my stories, which I must say I love to tell. Plus…she’s Buffy’s sister, and anyone that is close to Buffy, I automatically want to be close to also.

More crashes can be heard from the kitchen and I begin to worry about how Buffy is doing. I know she’d call for me if she needed help but I can’t help but worry just the same.

It feels like years later when the fighting ceases and Buffy enters the living room, covered with bruises and scars. I can’t help but wince, just looking at her.

“What happened?” Dawn asks, jumping up from her place on the couch.

“I couldn’t…I couldn’t kill him.” Buffy sobs, obviously angry with herself. “But he won’t be coming back, that I promise.”

“So you just let him go?” I ask, standing to face her. She looks at me wearily. “Do you know how many people he is capable of killing? You should have bloody slayed him!”

“You’re right.” she deadpans, “but he’s gone now so I’ll just settle for killing the nearest vampire.” She raises her stake for affect, causing me to jump back a little.

“Get a grip slayer. I’m just saying that it would’ve been better if you’d killed him is all.”

“Easy for you to say.” She sighs, flopping down onto the couch.

“I know you loved him Buff, and no one’s blaming ya for not being able to kill him, least of all me.”

“Well that’s what it sounded like.”

“And as if you’d have listened to me anyway, right?” she stifles a laugh.

“At least you got rid of him?” Dawn says, sitting beside her sister and rubbing circles on her back. “Do you really think he won’t come back?”

“I think it’s inevitable. After what he did last time, going after your friends and family, I’d say he’s ready to do that again.” I say. Buffy glares at me, she’d obviously wanted Dawn to think everything was fine so as not to worry the lil bit.

“What are you going to do?” Dawn asks.

“I’ve got a few bloody suggestions.” I say.

“Yeah well…I think I’ll skip hearing them if you don’t mind. I’m not exactly up for tales of death and torture right now.” With that she wearily wanders up the stairs to bed, leaving Dawn pretty shaken up in the living room, and expecting me, of course, to let myself out. Instead, I take Dawn in my arms and hug her as tears well up and fall down her soft cheeks. I sit down on the couch and Dawn lays her head on my lap, slowly falling to sleep as I stroke her long hair. While I may be nothing to Buffy, her sister loves me like a brother, or dare I say it, father. If Buffy could only see the good in my, as Dawn does, my world would be heaven…and here I’d always thought I’d go to hell!

I may never stand a chance with Buffy, but I have to keep holding on. I’ll stand in the shadows and love her with nothing in return. I just have to see her happy, have to see her safe and I have to be the one to save her, should disaster befall her…should Angel come back.