I was so sad when Mitch died. He was the father I always wanted and no matter how close I was with Dawson, I was always envious that he had this amazing, beautiful man to call a father and I had a drunken wreck to call mine. But Dawson�s father is dead�and mine�s alive. I�d give anything in this world to see that reversed. Hell, I�d give my life to have Mitch back, but that�s not how things played out. Mitch is gone, Dawson and Lily are fatherless and Gale is alone.

All Dawson could think about after the fateful crash was how Mitch had been disappointed in him the day that he died. So�I offered some advise. I told Dawson to rectify the damage. Make his father proud on the other side. Go back to film school. And he did. There was just one problem: Gale. She was practically bed ridden and Dawson had taken on the role of looking after Lily. So, with no other options left, Dawson asked me to stay in Capeside with his family and take care of them til he could return. So here I am.

It�s a task I�ll tell you! Looking after a baby and a grown woman�but it�s a hell of a lot better than working at that damned restaurant, and when things get too tough, Bessie and Doug are always around to help out. In fact, the whole town is. There�s nothing like a death to bring the neighbours together and this time is no exception. We�ve had cakes, pot roasts, flowers, cards, cheques�everything delivered from neighbours and do you know what Gale did with all of them? She burnt them. Along with every photo, every book, every item of clothing, every thing of Mitch�s. No matter how much I pleaded, no matter how often I told her she�d regret it, no matter what I said on the subject of memories, nothing helped. She wanted every memory gone. Memories, she told me, are painful�and that I can empathise with, because I�ve felt it. Sometimes I still do.

It�s 3 in the morning and once again, I�m up feeding Lily. I�d never thought being a father would be so hard�not that I�m a father or anything�I�m just stepping in for a while. Sometimes I have to remind myself though. Sometimes when I�m holding her and she smiles at me my heart just melts and I have to remind myself that she�s not mine. It�s hard though. I�ve been in this house for merely a week and already I�m in love with the little girl. She�s like nothing I�ve ever known.

�I�m sorry you had to be woken Pacey.� Gale whispers as she puts on her robe, ready to take over. I hand Lily to her and watch as her little girl�s eyes light up just by looking at her mother.

�I don�t mind Gale.� I tell her.

�She is not your responsibility.� She sighs.

�But that�s what I�m here for remember? To help you with your responsibilities.�

Well, I wouldn�t worry Pacey, I�m sure things will be back to normal soon. I just have to process things and work out how to handle everything without him.�

�Take your time. I�m less than eager about getting back. I�ll stay here as long as you need.� I say, as I begin to tidy up some of the toys that Lily had thrown on the floor earlier.

�Don�t get my wrong Pacey. I do really appreciate what you�re doing�it�s just that��

�I�m not Dawson?� I ask.

�Not family.� She nods.

�Well�you�ve always been pretty close to family to me. You and Mitch were always good to me and it�s time I return that favour.� I smile, leaving the room and heading to Dawson�s, where I�m staying.

�Thankyou Pacey!� she yells through the wall. And with that I drift off to sleep.

When I wake I�m greeted by the eerie silence that has greeted me every morning this week. I walk into Lily�s room and see her gazing at the ceiling, laughing silently to herself. It never ceases to amaze me how she can be so oblivious to it all. Her father is gone and every one is sad and angry and here Lily lies in her cot, laughing. You�d think babies would be able to sense the upset, you know? But not this kid. Nothing fazes her. She�s just like Dawson.

I take her downstairs, feed her breakfast then go about cleaning the house and cooking Gale breakfast while keeping a close watch on her. You turn your back for one moment and she�s gone. That happened to me yesterday. I spent over an hour searching the house for the rascal. Luckily I found her before Gale got up.

�Morning Pacey.� Gale says, walking into the kitchen at 8.00, and giving Lily a kiss on the cheek.

�The kettle�s still hot is you want me to get you a coffee.� I offer. She shakes her head.

�You know Pacey. I�m tired of this house. I�m tired of sleeping and crying and sleeping. I wanna get out�I wanna do something!�

�What, like have a walk?� I ask.

�No�like�like�have lunch and see a movie and do something different�something to take my mind off things.� She says. I think for a moment.

�Umm�I guess I could mind Lily while you do that��

�I can�t go alone.� She sighs. �Can Doug mind Lily while we go?�

�You wanna go with me?� I ask, startled that she�d want to spend her day with a kid.

�Yeah. Why not?�

�Okay, I�ll call Doug.� I tell her. �Only after you eat though.� She smiles, gratefully taking the toast I pass to her.

I make sure Gale is in close proximity to Lily, then I go take the cordless phone into the living room and call Doug.

�Hey baby Bro. How�s Gale doing?� he asks me.

�Better actually.� I tell him. �She�s wants me to take her out of the house for the day.�

�That sounds like a good idea. Keep her mind occupied.�

�Yeah, that�s the idea. So�you on duty Douggie?�

�Oh no�I�m not babysitting for you Pacey. Remember what happened with Buzz?� he asks me, referring to the time he looked after Buzz and couldn�t control him.

�Lily isn�t like Buzz, Douggie. I mean, you saw her just two days ago. Remember�she was sleeping. She does that a lot, and she never cries I swear. Besides, she can�t do much damage on four legs you know what I�m saying?�

�Would I have to change her?� he asks tentatively, and I know I�ve got him wrapped around my little finger.

�Yes�and burp her and bath her and put her to bed but Doug, if I can do it, you can. I have complete faith in you man.�

�Alright loser. I�ll be around in half an hour.� He says before hanging up. I smile to myself knowing that I was going to give Gale what she needs, a day off.