"I'll tell you something, though... She is really, really, annoying!” Pacey says, not wanting to talk to Doug so much, but just wanting to talk about it.

"Yeah?" This peaks his brothers curiosity.

"Yeah, I mean, this girl is amazing. There is not a single subject on the face of the planet that she doesn't have an opinion about. Its mind boggling."

"Well, that certainly sounds like a nightmare." Doug tries to sympathise while remaining uninvolved.

"Well, no, I mean... It's not quite like that. I mean, you gotta understand that the girl's really smart, so she's usually right and when she argues, it comes from this really beautiful, pure place. So, I mean, how can you fight against that, you know? Especially if you're a smart ass like me."

"Is she pretty?" Pacey is caught off guard by Doug’s question but more than willing to shed some light.

"Yeah, she is pretty. She is very, very pretty. She's actually the kind of pretty that gives you butterflies, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, never lose the butterflies." Doug utters, memories of the past coursing through his mind.

"What?" Pacey asks, clearly lost by his older brothers remark.

"You know, maybe that's what sucks about getting older. Somewhere along the line, you just, lose the butterflies,” he explains. “So the question is, little brother, what are you going to do about it?"

"Do?" Pacey turns to face Doug, more than frightened by his suggestion.

"Yeah. Do as in, do something. Take action."

“No, I don't think you're really, properly grasping the gravity of this situation, Dougie. You see if I was actually to do something about this, there is the strong possibility that the sun would cease to shine. The tides would cease to rise. In fact, I'm betting there's a pretty good chance that the very earth would crack open and Capeside would become home to a huge hell mouth, that would spew forth endless hordes of monsters and demons that would choke the denizens of this city, making them fall to their knees and pray for return to the days before I took action. That's really what we're talking about here." He takes a deep breath, exhausted from his speech.

"Yeah, maybe, maybe.” Doug nods, trying to understand where his brother is coming from before giving the dreaded advise. “Look, Pacey, uhhh, in my experience you don't come across that many people with the ability to give you butterflies. You just don't. And if you don't tell this girl how you feel, well, it'll be like spending the rest of your life in your own personal prison." He finishes before beginning to head back out of the jail cell where Pacey was to spend the night. Part of the tough love scheme employed by the father they share.

"Hey, Doug?" Pacey asks before Doug can leave.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

I walk tentatively towards the Potter B&B the next morning. I’m scared out of my mind and it takes all of my will not to turn around and run like hell in the opposite direction. It’s only early morning and the chance that Joey is even awake is very slim, but I know I have to take that chance. I have to tell her how I feel before I lose my nerve. Slowly I raise my hand to knock on the door and it isn’t long before Joey answers. Almost as quick she slams the door in my face. I’m left standing out on the porch feeling terrible. I try once again and this time there is no answer.

“Screw this.” I mumble to myself and open the door. I wander up the staircase and to Joey’s bedroom door, unsure of what to do next. I tap lightly on the door before stepping inside. There I find Joey curled up on her bed, crying.

“Jo…”

“Get out!” she yells, throwing a pillow at me. It grazes my face before plummeting to the floor.

“Joey please.” I plead with her. She sits up expectantly and I know I have my chance.

“Jo, I’m sorry. What I said was way out of line. And yes, I was drunk, but more to the point I was just plain wrong.”

“Pacey, I know you didn’t mean those things that you said, but I want to know why you said them.”

“I…I was stupid, I was drunk…” I stammer.

“No Pacey! Why? Are you angry with me about something?”

“Yes.” I say before I can stop myself. Her face freezes with shock and pain as she tries to understand what I’ve said.

“You’re angry with me?” she whispers.

“Yes Joey.”

“Why?”

“Can’t you see? I’m angry with you for the way you make me feel!”

“What?”

“Joey, you…you can’t possibly know how hard it is to be around you and…”

“And what? You loathe me that much?” I sigh.

“No Joey…it’s…it’s the opposite…I…” I take a deep breath and try to continue, “You make me feel so good about myself. You show me things that I’ve never seen before, when I’m around you there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. And this is wrong! Friends, friends are not supposed to feel this way! And we’re friends aren’t we? I mean, I don’t really know exactly when we became friends…”

“Pacey…” you try to stop my rambling, “What are you saying?” You look pained, scared almost and the very idea that I am the one to make you feel anything bad horrifies me.

“I’m saying that…that I don’t want to see you anymore.” I blurt out. That was not my intention coming over here, but what the hell.

“What?!” she exclaims, grabbing my sleeve before I can escape through the door.

“You heard me. No more hanging out together, no more me helping out with the B&B, that’s it!”

“Don’t be ridiculous Pacey…I…I’d be lost without you.” She says the last part so softly, as if she’s frightened to say it out loud.

“But I can’t keep on doing this Joey. Being around you…it’s torture. Having to be so close to you and not be with you.”

“I never knew you felt this way Pacey.”

“Yeah, well after the last response I got from you in that department, I thought it best that this time I keep it under wraps. I just lost it last night. And it made me realise how much I just needed to let it all out, even if that means losing our friendship.”

“I don’t want to lose our friendship Pace.”

“But there’s no way you can give me what I want…is there?” I ask, hopefully. She stays silent for what seems like eternity before releasing her grip on me and turning away.

“That’s what I thought.” I say before heading out the door. I head down the stairs almost in a trance. I can’t believe it’s over. My friendship with Joey is over, and all because I couldn’t keep my emotions in line. I can’t help the tears from sliding down my cheeks as I walk through the front door and into the morning light.

The world could have ended today and I wouldn’t have known it. I haven’t moved from my place on Dougie’s couch since he left for work this morning and even as the sun sets out the window now, I have no intention of ever getting up. I was tired of remaining stagnant with my feelings for Joey. I needed to move forward and I knew that the only way to do that was to confront them, to confront her. What I never realised was how painful it would be to do this and receive the response I thought I’d so well prepared myself for. Rejection.

I stare into space, in my own little world and doing so, barely notice when the doorbell rings. I stay in my place willing the intruder of my solitude to leave, but by the 5th insistent ring, I realise I have to answer it.

As I open the door, my entire body freezes with shock, as Joey stands, expressionless before me.

“Potter.” I say, more than surprised by her presence.

“Can I come in?” she asks tentatively, as I open the door, allowing her entry. We walk inside and I take a seat back on the sofa. She however doesn’t sit, but begins pacing the length of the living room.

“Stand still. You’re making me tired just looking at you.” I say. She does as she is told but this only causes her to fidget wildly with her hands.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re here Joey?”

“Mmm hmm.” She nods, but remains silent, her movements growing more and more desperate.

“Joey…”

“Why did you say those things to me this morning Pacey?”

“Look Jo…”

“Don’t try and explain it. Don’t try to wriggle out of it and pretend…like you always do.”

“Well what do you want me to say?” my voice booms and I shock her with my directness.

“I don’t know.” She sighs.

“Why are you here?” I try again.

“I don’t know ok? All I know is that I haven’t been able to think straight all day and the only foreseeable way to remedy the situation was to come here. I don’t know why, but all I know is that I had this unmistakable urge to come here, and I say that with all do regret at this point.”

“Well just leave then!” I yell, tears forming in my eyes.

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I just can’t.” I take a deep breath and stand so I am face to face with her.

“Look, we’re obviously not getting anywhere with this. Truth is, you came here to say something to me and it will make it a damn lot easier on both of us if you just say it.”

“I know there’s something I want to say to you Pacey, I just don’t know what or how.”

“Alright. Joey, close your eyes.” She looks at me questioningly. I give nothing away in my demeanour so she does as I say. I gently put my arms around her waist and lean in close so that I can feel her breath on my lips. She draws in a sharp breath and mine catches in my throat as I press my lips to hers. With that one kiss, the world seems to fade away. All the pain I felt these past few months quickly dissipates and all that’s left is Joey and I, together.

“Pacey.” She sighs, pulling away.

“Joey I can’t stand this anymore, just tell me what you feel!”

“I can’t.” she sobs, tears running down her cheeks. I get the unmistakable urge to kiss them away. “I can’t Pacey. If I tell you, the world as we know it would change. Nothing, nothing would be the same.”

“You think by admitting your feeling that the apocalypse will occur do you? You think what you feel can be that strong? Can have such an effect on our universe?”

“I know it.” she answers. And I know she’s right.

“Maybe we just have to take our chances Jo. What’s the point of remaining in silence if we’re unhappy? Why can’t we do what we know is right and damn the consequences?”

“I wish I could be like you Pacey. I wish I could live that way.” she takes me into an embrace and hugs me tight against her. I can feel her tears penetrating my shirt and it kills me. “I love you Pacey, more than you’ll ever know. But I can never be with you.”

I think the world ended when she walked away. I was elated at the fact that she felt the same way, but devastated that she was in so much pain because of it. Knowing we can never be together. We are geographically so close, but we’re worlds apart. Or maybe we’re not. Maybe that’s the problem. We are so close and we share so much and all of that would be destroyed should we give in. I love her so much…but I’ll never have her, never.