To Be

hearing myself laugh
feeling myself smile
I must admit
it's been a while
I lost myself
to the heartache
of a partnership
I could not make
blamed myself
for wrongs not my own
hurt myself
for reasons unknown
with one chance
you changed that for me
dried up the tears
and set my heart free
with all that I am---thank you
for getting to know me
and giving a chance
for us to be


If Only

If only
I could
not take
every word
to be
the way
my word is
perhaps then
tears wouldn't
continue
to fall
from my
tired eyes
If only
I could
let the
small stuff
be just that
then perhaps
I could
not ache
so much
If only
my flaws
were fixed
no longer needing
or wanting or
hoping or wishing----
which is only
really wasting
if only
Was

no longer knowing
the feeling
of a
genuine smile
no longer experiencing
the rush
of an
unexpected kiss
not being
allowed
the silliness
of a deep belly laugh
only having
what I thought
was
but no longer
believing
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POETRY 5
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