I sit down to pee.
And I can justify
Any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber,
But a beauty salon.
I can get a massage,
Without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends,
About the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece,
And yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit,
To other when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles,
At any cost.
And I don't have a problem,
Admitting I'm lost.
I never forget,
An important date.
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies,
With a lot of gore.
Don't need instant replay,
To remember a score.
I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just cuz I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot,
Not at my chest!!!
I don't have a problem,
With expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.
Don't call me a GIRL,
a BABE or a CHICK.
I am a WOMAN.
Get it? YOU DICK!
