Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family Man, Honey, Darling, Soft-Boiled Egg, Snuggle Pup
Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts
Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, whimpy
Old Man Grumpus-"People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV."
Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-Mud, Old Fogey, Slow Mover, Jerk
Advantages: Stays put; predictable
Disadvantages: Royal Pain in the ASS
Flinchy-"I-I'm sorry for whatever it was I did."
Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you
Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled.
Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle
Bigfoot-"Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'"
Also known as: Chunk-Style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big n Dumb
Advantages: Can tote bales, is easily fooled
Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig
Lazybones-"ZZZZZZZ"
Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict
Advantages: Well rested; Easy target
Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfill your dreams
The Sneak-"Who, me?"
Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, G-D Son of a Bitch
Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt
Disadvantages: May be having the time of his life
Ace of Hearts-"After I wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?"
Also known as: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova, Monster
Advantages: Perpetually aroused
Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused
The Dreamer-"Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how but--"
Also known as: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind
Advantages: Tells good stories
Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus"
Mr. Right-"While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazied weasels in my new yacht, ok?
Also known as: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy
Advantages: He has servants to wait on you hand and foot.
Disadvantages: Nothing, he's PERFECT.
