Well after a happy year and a quarter I find myself single again. I still don't know exactly why. He just said it was over. Well not quite like that but the reason he gave me can't be the whole reason, its just too simple.

Its amazing how when things like that happen its like being in a night mare you can't wake up from but you keep trying too. Some people have said that I should wait and see if he comes around but I learned the hard way from being in a closed campus job corp center that its better not to cling to that idea because it can lead to an unhealthy obsesion.

The funny thing is that I should be pissed at him but all I feel is numb. Maybe Im still in shock. Any way I decided to leave town for a bit till I get over the worst of it. Its bad enough to have to go through the break up pains without having to see his face around town. I plan on going back in a couple of weeks. Then I'll devote my energies toward my school work and my friends who still love me. And I am so lucky to have them because they have been amaizingly supportive. Otherwise I probably would have gone nuts by now.

My friend says that when these type of things happen then your always take to a place that was better then the one you left. I don't know if thats true but I can hope that im still eligable to find someone meant for me. Its hard to think about it right now though. It will be a while before I am ready to try again.

My step dad is trying to talk me into staying up here "now that I don't have any attachments". But I know that wouldn't work. I love my mom but I can't handle living near her. And its too hard to meet people and make friends in this town. I know I've lived here before. Now that Ive been social for the last four years of my life I can't go back to not being social. Besides I love living in Brookings.

Once I finish my college course wich i just scored a 93 on my medical terminology final, I plan on getting a nice little place of my own in the middle of town where I will be in easy walking distance of all the necessities and my friends. And if I need a ride somewhere I 'll always have kevin to help me out.

Well hopefully the next time I write I'll have better news to give. Till then I just want to give thanks to my friends for being there for me and wish you all better luck then Im having at the moment. Take care all.