so you decided to drop by my place online. isn't that nice? i'm hungry. anyway, since you're here, chances are you want to know more about me and how wonderfully adorable I am. you're in luck! i feel like telling you... but it is almost nap time!

more about me

the early years

when i was a kitten, we didn't have any of this fancy scoopable kitty litter. you kittens today don't know what times was like then. so i'll tell you what they were like for me.

i was born in december of 1995 so i'm only 16 years old in human years. so, i'm in the prime of my life!

mom tells the story of how we came to be together as this: i lived with my biological mother (yes, i'm adopted, don't look so shocked!) and my brother and sister. our father, who was named after the great american writer, hemmingway, was rarely around. my biological mother was just one of many in his harem. at any rate, the evil human woman who kept us trapped in her house (along with over 50 other cats, 2 large dogs, lots of hamsters (they multiply like rabbits, you know!), and 2 sickkly birds) was away on vacation so a friend of mom's was watching her (the evil woman's) "pets" while she was away on vacation. mom says that the entire house reeked of the odor of feces and she vowed to call the aspca on the evil woman. i, always having been somewhat adventurous, had crawled away from my biological mother (yes, even though my eyes weren't open yet!) and that's when mom spotted me. she said i was the healthiest of all the kittens and so she took me home with her.

upon my arrival at my new home and new life with my mom, she bathed me and noticed i had ringworm and earmites galore. i was promptly taken for my first pediatric....oops! veterinary appointment where all i remember is crying a lot! the vet cleaned out my ears and looked at my skin and asked mom where she found me. mom was only too happy to tell the vet about the evil woman and all the "pets" she was abusing by being malnourished and living in dung. The vet called the aspca and the evil woman was arrested! (see, the system does work!)
...and that's a little about me.

my diet

a lot of humans don't really understand that the feline diet is a rather complex one. many believe that mere "cat" food will susutanace enough. this is not the case for me. i enjoy experimenting with new foods constantly. here is just a brief list of some of my favorite foods:

cashews
granola bars
baked potatoes
string cheese
popcorn
peppermint candy
green beans
mom's marinara sauce

the pointy thing

chances are you were expecting to see a photo of the pointy thing. well... mom hasn't scanned one yet so we must be patient. meanwhile let me tell you a little the pointy thing:

the call the pointy thing "malcolm" and really, he isn't pointy anymore. mom took him to get his claws removed so he wouldn't destroy her furniture. he's not very nice to anyone but his mother, my aunt liz. he likes to scream and place his "pink eye" on my face so i bite him a lot. he's not a very nice cat. mom says he's going to move away someday soon and then i'll have my house back! yay!