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| Tournament of Wits |
| Episode Six |
| The contestants come back covered in feathers. CONTESTANTS: May the fishies rest in peace� SNOW: One: fishes don�t have feathers and Two: You were hunting birds. BANGER: Where do you people keep coming from? Snow points to a vortex in the wall that is called The Vortex That Annoying People Come Out of to Annoy You. BANGER: That makes sense. At that moment the battered figures of Halo and Hammer walk in. HAMMER: Medic� SNOW: That�s funny, you two look like you were just pelted to death by coke bottles� HALO: You helped shoot us you rat! Halo tosses Snow out the window. SNOW: Pargle! AARDVARK: That�s my line! That�s copyright infringement! INFERNO: Um� right� HALO: This battle is postponed for an hour. Hammer, let�s find that nurse. HAMMER: She was the one who actually hit us. HALO: Well let�s just find a first aid kit. HAMMER: Yeah� As soon as they are out of earshot Peace says� PEACE: I would heal them but I�m too lazy. SNOW: You can heal? PEACE: Yeah you- Didn�t Halo just throw you out the window? SNOW: Oh, yeah. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Blue wakes up at this point. BLUE: Ullll� SNOW: Make him faint again! PEACE: Just keep falling, Snow. SNOW: Okay. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! BLUE: What is happening? SNOW: Well you see- PEACE: Please, no more Snow�s� SNOW: Fine. Snow throws himself out the window. SNOW: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! BLUE: That was�weird. JAMEY: NO! HEAD OF LETTUCE! HEAD OF LETTUCE: JAMEY: THAT�S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! WE�RE GOING TO DIE!!! FAST: Axem Fast says, �This is STILL disturbing�� � � � � � � � ONE HOUR LATER SNOW: Fine. Snow throws himself out the window. SNOW: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! BLUE: That was�weird. JAMEY: NO! HEAD OF LETTUCE! HEAD OF LETTUCE: JAMEY: THAT�S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! WE�RE GOING TO DIE!!! EVERYONE: � Suddenly the speakers turn on� HAMMER: Shut up, Jamey! And Snow, stop throwing yourself out that window! BANGER: My savior�. HAMMER: Would Axems Wizard and Image please report to the arena? Wizard and Image walk out of the contestant�s building. AUDIENCE: Yay. HALO: I don�t care if you�re ready, just fight! Image: 500/500 Wizard: 600/600 Image starts by covering herself in a yellow aura and shooting a dark energy orb. Wizard dodges the slow orb and shoots a Fire Beam at Image. Image tries to dodge but fails. The attack hits. Wizard takes a recoil. Image: 250/500 Wizard: 500/600 IMAGE: That was powerful. WIZARD: Lucky for you I can only use it once per battle. Image doesn�t reply but her eyes flash white for several moments before they go back to their regular color. Next she uses Axe Illusion. Thousands of axes appear around Wizard and slash him. She uses Healing balm next and regains 100 HP. Last she shoots a Green Energy Orb which hits Wizard and lowers his magic attack. Wizard: 300/600 Image: 350/500. WIZARD: This is bizarre� Wizard uses Magic Axe. His axe glows with magic. WIZARD: HAAA!!!!! He laughs and� slashes himself� Wizard: 100/600 (paralyzed from the waist down) Wizard sits on the ground. IMAGE: That was� pointless� WIZARD: I didn�t mean to do that� IMAGE: You�re right. I used Insanity making you attack yourself. WIZARD: Grrr� Wizard holds up his palms and shoots several white magic orbs at Image. She dodges all but one. Image: 250/500 Wizard quickly shoots a Fire Beam out of his staff. IMAGE: I thought you could only use that once per battle! WIZARD: I lied. Image and Wizard both collapse. AUDIENCE: That was� pointless� HALO: I guess we�ll have to do a tiebreaker! Halo tosses down two Life Shrooms, one to Image and one to Wizard. Wizard: 10/600 Image: 10/500 HALO: No healing is allowed! This is a sudden death! Ready? Fight! Image and Wizard dash at each other. Suddenly, everything goes into slow motion. WIZARD: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! IMAGE: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!! They run forward and� Bump heads :) Image and Wizard are KO�d. HAMMER: Well I guess we have to start over. � � � � � � � FIVE HOURS LATER WIZARD: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! IMAGE: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!! They run forward and� Bump heads� Image and Wizard are KOed. AUDIENCE: It�s six-thirty! We�re hungry! HALO: Someone win already! He tosses two Life Shrooms down. HAMMER: We�re nearly out of Life Shrooms! Everything goes into slow motion. WIZARD: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! IMAGE: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Wizard slyly stops running this time and Image trips and falls. Image loses 10 HP. Image is KO�d. HALO: Hammer! Life Shroom! HAMMER: We�re out! HALO: Well then we�re taking a visit to Tayce T. � � � � � � � TWO HOURS LATER The Audience is so hungry they start to chew on the seats. AUDIENCE: I wish we saved a popcorn stall or two. But it�s so addictive� Halo and Hammer get back. HAMMER: Ah! A whole box of them! He tosses one down to Image. IMAGE: The cow says oink and killed the pig as it let out a moo� AUDIENCE: � HALO: Finally! It�s over! Wizard is the victor! Now let�s scram! Be here at 1:00 A.M. tomorrow! The audience runs out cheering. � � � � � � � IN THE CONTESTANT�S BUILDING Image and Wizard hit the Heart Block. HAILFIRE: That was� new� ZEUS: Mmmph! EVERYONE BUT ZEUS: Shut up! END OF EPISODE 6 |