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| Episode Three |
| GameTalk ADVANCED! |
| Our camera once again focuses in on Jhonka, the main character of this stupid story. JHONKA: � �Oh yeah, he got hypnotized by a screensaver and fell into a coma. ANYWAYS, we�ll just move on to another part, a little girl in the worst possible family you can think of: A [Shudders] mentally stable one. FATHER: Well I must say, our family is completely average! MOTHER: And we�re all so happy about our next to mindless lifestyle! The FATHER and MOTHER produce HEARTY LAUGHS. Their daughter, however, is on the brink of INSANITY. GIRL: I HATE YOU! I HATE THIS PLAIN FAMILY AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS STORY! FATHER: That�s great! We�re going to have a wonderful day! GIRL: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! GIRL quickly runs upstairs and jumps out a window, but is saved by a CONVENIENTLY PLACED TRAMPOLINE. MOTHER: Oh my, she�s grumpy again! I just love our family! FATHER: Me too, Honey! Me too! :) FATHER and MOTHER engage in some more HEARTY LAUGHTER as GIRL goes up to her room and GETS TO THE POINT OF THIS EPISODE. GIRL: I need to unleash my anger on unsuspecting people online and secure my position in this story as �The Angry Girl.� She turns on her WEIRD-LOOKING TRIANGLE we should call a COMPUTER. She also puts on A HEADSET with a tiny monitor covering the eyes and a VOICE-RECOGNITION SYSTEM. It�s been only six weeks since THE JHONKA INCIDENT, but technology decided to ADVANCE. Don�t ask me why. GIRL: So why do you do that random capital letter thing? To point out the KEY WORDS for our SIMPLE-MINDED VIEWERS. SIMPLE-MINDED VIEWERS: We like candy!...And talking in unison! GIRL logs into GAMETALK, for it decided to ADVANCE as well. We now have ONLINE, CUSTOMIZED CHARACTERS to control and move around with and talk to OTHERS. MESSAGE BOARD SYSTEMS have been ABANDONED, for some people are too freakin� lazy to use their REFRESH BUTTON when �CHATTING.� GIRL�S CHARACTER appears on monitor. This character is HOTARU, a cute LITTLE GIRL in a cute BLUE DRESS with cute ANIME EYES. Oh, and cute BLUE HAIR. The real life HOTARU twists her head left and right, being able to see through the eyes of her character. HOTARU: Who to harass today� HOTARU walks around a MAZE-LIKE CULTURAL CITY. Because some of you like DETAILS, it�s like TOKYO or NEW YORK at NIGHT. HOTARU: Will you stop with those capitalized words already?! NO. HOTARU: Ooh! Nerds! CAMERA focuses in on two EXTRA-BUFF male characters talking about NERDY BUSINESS in their high-pitched NERD VOICES. DING0STRYKER: Yeah, my hard drive now holds 400 GB! GETOUTTAMAFACE: Big whoop! My Cable Internet Connection can reach speeds of more than Pi raised to the power of 8! DING0STRYKER: That�s impossible, geek! GETOUTTAMAFACE: Your FACE is impossible, NERD!!! DING0STRYKER: Well yo� Momma! GETOUTTAMAFACE: You idiot! We�re brothers! We have the same- HOTARU: HYAH!!! HOTARU found GREAT PLEASURE in drop-kicking both of them at the same time. Again, don�t ask me how. HOTARU: Yup, I feel much better now! Three characters spontaneously appear next to HOTARU in a FLASH OF LIGHT. This is how people change their location on GAMETALK; by TELEPORTING. The trio is dressed in IDENTICAL GOLDEN ARMOR with the word MODERATOR embedded on the chest. Obviously, HOTARU attracted the attention of MODERATORS already. SUPER BEST FRIEND: We knew you�d show up, Miss HOTARU! We�ve had enough of your illegal attacks on people for the past month! KICK ME PLEASE: [Drawing his Moderator Sword from a back holster] We think a quick 1-week IP Ban will do you some good, so- KICK ME PLEASE slashes at HOTARU. HOTARU quickly Teleports before getting hit, thus escaping the ban. MONEYBAGZ: She ran� SUPER BEST FRIEND: We should stop showing ourselves so soon and just stab them quickly. -------------------------------------------------- The scene changes to an ABANDONED FORUM. Obviously, no one is here. HOTARU: Whew! Barely got away that time�But they must be tracking me now�I hate Mods� HOTARU takes a look around the online room. The setting is a small living room with�Someone lying down on a COUCH. Of course, we can all GUESS who THAT is, with the exception of HOTARU. HOTARU: What the heck�I thought this place was abandoned! The real life HOTARU takes off her headgear and stares at a list of the people in the room. Only her. HOTARU: (Thinking) That can�t be right�Another glitch? She puts her headgear back on and EXAMINES the UNCONSCIOUS character. This character is a SHORT GUY wearing a plain GRAY SHIRT and BLUE JEANS. The only thing that caught HOTARU�S INTEREST was a 5-FOOT SILVER STAFF, like a magician�s. HOTARU: (Thinking) Is this�A hacker? [Punching the boy] Hey! Wake up! I want to ask you a few things! BOY: (Kind of conscious) Ow�That really hurts� BOY rolls over, thus FALLING OFF the COUCH. HOTARU: Good, I wasn�t imagining some deranged, non-existent character. BOY slowly stands up, using his STAFF for SUPPORT. BOY: Wh-Where am I? HOTARU: You�re in some abandoned forum, duh! I�d just like to ask you a few things. For one, why can�t I see your name? It�s like you didn�t fill in any data when you registered here. BOY: Here? HOTARU: Yes, HERE! GameTalk, stupid! BOY: Well�I�m Jhonka� HOTARU: Jhonka�What kind of stupid name is that?! JHONKA: � JHONKA Teleports out of the room. HOTARU: Psh, well that wasn�t very nice. WHAT THE FREAK IS HAPPENING? FIND OUT NEXT TIME�OR ELSE!!! :) END OF EPISODE THREE |