Chapter 13
It was official. Annalee was a good baby. She didn't really cry, she slept through the night. She also slept a lot of the day, and that fit Mandy fine. It gave her time to tidy up, make meals, work on any of her inside hobbies, catch up on news.
"Grandma" Lynn, as Mandy's mom was now calling herself had finally seen Annalee. She had instantly fallen in love with her new granddaughter.
And, she and Mandy were even making headway in their relationship. They talked anything over- things to do with Annalee, how long after giving birth should Mandy withhold sex, Daddy's finances, Shelby's high school, anything and everything was subjects.
Mandy's siblings noticed a change. Moira actually talked to Mrs. Williams about the divorce. She let her talk to Chris. Adam talked to his mom about possibly adopting since Evelyn couldn't get pregnant. Monica let her mother help calm her down and realize how much all her boyfriends were hurting the kids.
Stella had even opened up to Mrs. Williams. Lynn still wouldn't say what they had talked about, but always was inviting Mac over for supper.
Mrs. Williams always loved going on shopping trips with Mandy and Annalee. She always said it helped her catch up on the time she had missed with Mandy.
They'd put Annalee in a stroller, one specially bought by "Grandma" Lynn to where Annalee could be lying in it, facing her parents, or whoever happened to be pushing the stroller at the time. There was a top, so they could keep the sun out of her face. And, it pulled apart to be a baby carrier. So, if they decided one day that they just wanted the carrier, they just had to disconnect it.
All the sales women loved cooing at Annalee. It would never fail, every store they went into, the sales lady would coo at her. Three-fourths of the time, she was asleep. The times she was awake, she usually didn't care who or what was cooing.
One shopping trip, it seemed like Lynn's mind was somewhere else. Mandy had noticed but had said nothing. She figured it was possibly a phase.
But, when they went on another shopping trip a few weeks later, Lynn was still silent. Someone even commented on how adorable Annalee was, and Lynn didn't start her usual speech of Annalee's vital stats.
Mandy kept an eye on her mother. This was very unlike her. And, it scared Mandy. She had never seen her mother like this before.
They stopped for lunch. And, Mandy suggested that they take it to Central Park to eat it. Lynn agreed, and they walked in silence to the park.
"Are you okay Momma?" Mandy asked.
"Of course baby." Lynn replied. "Why do you ask?"
"You've been silent. It's scared me." Mandy said.
"I've, I guess I've just been reflective." Lynn said.
"What for?" Mandy pried.
"Not sure." Lynn said, as she sat down on a park bench. Mandy sat down beside her mother, pulling Annalee in her stroller closer to them.
They ate their lunch in silence, until Mandy couldn't take it any longer. "Momma is something wrong at home?" She asked, watching her mother force a smile.
Lynn tucked some of her salt and pepper hair behind her ear. "Mandy, I'm afraid I have some bad news." She said.
"Are you and Daddy fighting?" Mandy asked.
"No honey, it's nothing like that." Lynn said.
"So, what is it?" Mandy asked.
"I have a tumor." Lynn said.
"A good tumor?" Mandy asked, her voice getting crackly and her throat drying.
"No." Lynn softly replied.
"But, but, they can remove it before it spreads? Stop it now before it gets worse?" Mandy started to babble.
"Plans have already been made to do that." Lynn said. "I'll probably have to do chemotherapy, but there's still a possibility I may die." She explained.
"You can't die! I just got you back!" Mandy said, tears forming in her eyes.
"I know baby." Lynn said.
"Where is it?" Mandy asked, wiping away her tears.
"Ovary. I have an operation schedules at the end of this week to try and remove what they can. After that, we'll see where we can go from there." Lynn explained.
"But, if it can't be stopped?" Mandy asked. Somehow, she already knew the answer. She didn't need her mother to say it. If the cancer couldn't be stopped, then Lynn didn't want to live anymore.
If the cancer couldn't be stopped, it would be the end of Lynn Edith Gregory Williams.
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Danny knew something was up when Mandy turned him down for sex. When he had arrived home, Mandy had her copy of Grey's Anatomy book out. Then, after ordering out for dinner, Mandy was silent. And, after Annalee was placed peacefully in the nursery, Danny tried his moves on his wife. She said no, climbed into bed and picked back up the anatomy book.
"You know, you were so excited for sex when I was leaving for work." Danny said, turning on his side to face Mandy. It had been almost a half an hour, but she was still reading the anatomy book.
"Things change honey. I'm just not in the mood anymore." Mandy said, not looking at him.
"What did your mother insult this time?" Danny asked. Mandy's mouth quickly fell open as she closed the book and looked at him.
"She didn't insult anything actually." Mandy said.
"So what's wrong?" Danny asked.
"Momma has ovarian cancer." Mandy quickly said.
That was when the tears from earlier quickly fell. The tears Mandy hadn't shed at the park. The ones that she hadn't wanted to shed in front of Danny when he returned home.
Danny quickly leaned over and took his wife in his arms. He knew his shoulder would be salty and weird feeling from her tears falling on his uncovered skin. But, he also knew that this news was killing her. And, he'd be up for worst husband of the year if he didn't do anything right now.
Somehow, being wrapped up in Danny's arms made Mandy feel so safe, so comfortable. She still knew she could lose her mother, and she still knew she was crying over something she couldn't fix. But, knowing Danny would be there through it made it easier to deal with it all.
"At least, if she was to go, you guys were patching up your relationship. You won't spend forever with things you wished you had said." Danny said.
"I don't want her to go." Mandy said.
"I don't either. Annalee is still a baby. There's probably more grandkids. I want her here for all that. But, sometimes, it's their time to go." Danny said.
"I won't let her go. She can't go." Mandy said, as she started crying harder.
"Many times, it's not our choice." Danny whispered. "A lot of times, it's not our choice."
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"You would have been up for bastard husband of the year if you hadn't consoled her!" Mira said, as she, Flack and Danny sat out by Danny's desk the next day.
"I know. She was hurting, and so I did the only thing I could think of." Danny said, as they heard some cheers go up. They turned and saw Mandy walking in with Annalee sitting on her hip.
"Hey there!" Mira said, smiling at her friend.
"I figured I'd get out today, and then I remembered most of you hadn't seen Annie recently." Mandy said, as she looked at the three. "Hey, you cut your hair." She said to Flack.
"Yeah." He replied, running his hands through his newly shorn dark brown hair.
"Why did you cut it?" Mandy asked.
"I hated getting my hair pulled." Flack replied.
"Who pulled your hair?" Mandy asked. When she saw the stern look Flack was giving her, she realized what he had mentioning. "Oh!" She said.
"She is adorable!" Stella said, as she, Mac, Aiden and Hawkes came over to join them.
"And, you're getting ready to come back, right?" Aiden said.
"In a couple of days actually." Mandy replied, as Stella was handed Annalee.
"Just in time to see Hawkes on his first CSI job." Mac said.
"Congrats Hawkes! I'll have to tell Moira." Mandy said.
"Actually, I already told her." Hawkes replied, a hint of blush creeping over his cheeks.
"Sheldon, are you making a move on my sister?" Mandy asked, as they all chuckled.
"Which, by the way, she told me about your mother." Hawkes replied.
Mandy shrunk down, as if she was trying to avoid the news. She could feel all of their eyes on her. She knew they were waiting to see how she reacted. And, the truth was, she wasn't sure how she wanted to.
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Mandy sat out in the waiting room. Mira had the day off, so she had taken Annalee. Danny was at work. Her sisters were various places. It was pretty much her and her father sitting there, waiting for the news.
She was leaning forward in her chair, her mind running through what felt like nothing. Her mind was moving ten times fast, but nothing was moving. The only few things she could seem to wrap her mind around was where she was, and what she was wearing. Though, at times, she didn't want to admit she had followed a trend and slipped into a pair of tight jeans, Doc Marten boots, a white wifebeater, and a baby blue long sleeved sweater. She still wasn't sure if her mind was working when she had gotten dressed.
"You do know you don't have to be here honey." Her father spoke up.
"I know." Mandy said. She knew her father was trying to protect her. She knew as the week had progressed that her mother had already started making preparations, as if she knew something was up. But, Mandy had shaken it off, knowing that her mother did always like to have things set up, and ready to go incase they would be needed.
Time passed before they heard footsteps behind them. "Mr. Williams?" Mandy heard the voice call. Her father got up and walked over to where the doctor stood, noticing the solemn look on the MD's face. Mandy staid seated, knowing what had happened.
She got up, grabbed the leather jacket she had with her and started out the door. She got into her Jeep Grand Loredo, and drove. She drove until she ended up at her childhood home. She knocked on the door, as the maid let her in. She jogged to her parent's room, just sitting there.
That was when a piece of paper caught her eye. She picked it up and noticed the handwriting as her own, from when she was a child. "Dear Mommy. I love you. It's coming to be your birthday and I wanted you to know that. I know sometimes I don't seem to show it, and sometimes I get on your nerves. But, that's the way I show you that I do love you. I know you get on my nerves, but that doesn't mean that you don't love me. Love, Amanda." Mandy silently read to herself. She felt tears stinging the sides of her eyes, as she quickly wiped them away.
"I love you Momma." She said, to no one in particular.
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Well I heard there was a secret chord
that David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this :
The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah...
Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
And she tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah...
(Yeah but) Baby I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor, (You know)
I used to live alone before I knew ya
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
and love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah...
Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do ya
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah
Hallelujah...
[Instrumental]
Maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelu...
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelu...
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah
Hallellllluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuujjjaahhhh...Hallelllluuuuuujjaaaaaaaaaahhhh
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"We are gathered here today to remember the life of Lynn Williams. She is remembered by her husband, Ronald Williams, her son and daughter in law, Adam and Evelyn Williams, her daughter Monica Williams, her daughter Moira Williams, her daughter and son in law Amanda and Daniel Messer, and her grandchildren, Shelby, Gregory and Fiona Harris, and Annalee Messer." the preacher said, looking out at the crowd.
The first three rows were filled with family; while behind them were where Danny and Mandy sat, along with Hawkes, Moira, Stella, Mac, and Aiden.
After the funeral and the burying of Lynn's body, Aiden stopped Mandy on her way back to her car. "Mandy, can I talk to you about something?" She asked, as Mandy nodded.
"I'm on this case, but there are no clues to point to this guy." Aiden said.
"I know. Mac's talked to me about it." Mandy said.
"He has?" Aiden asked, surprised.
"I was in your shoes once. Sadly, I did the wrong thing and it almost cost me my job." Mandy said.
"What did you do?" Aiden asked.
"I made up my own clues, based on what the victim remembered. I forgot once that I was a scientist and I couldn't play God. My previous experience with the TA got in the way. Fortunately, my boss at the time didn't fire me." Mandy explained.
"What would you have done?" Aiden asked.
"Instead of planting fake clues? I would have dropped it. There are thousands of cases out there to solve Aiden. Millions keep getting piled on our desks each day. Some of them we can solve. Some of them we can't. We just have to use our judgment to realize which ones are which." Mandy said.
"Thanks Mandy." Aiden said.
"Anytime girl. That's what I'm here for." Mandy said, as she got in the car.
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Mandy thought it would be hard to return to work. She knew a lot of the people at work had given her their condolences. And, she knew they would do the same thing the moment she stepped into the office.
But, that morning, she walked into the office. She sat down at her desk, she emptied the file box out onto her desk, and she smiled. She knew she could do this; it was what Momma would want.