my fcukin side makes everyone on billo a billionaire, when you really think about it. if its the street that football comes home to. their stories of us akiens are their fortunes. the sooner everyone accepts that, the better. billington is the place where it all kicks off. everyone down here, my friends, they all need preparing. im ready. they all think im jacobs anway. what have i got to lose.

To everyone on billo, all my mates, you have to find out sooner or later. the truth.

Ive wrote the greatest true story ever written these last few months. Id like to offer anyone interested a copy. A donation to cover the costs of each one will be appreciated. Why should anyone be interested in my life story….? Because im bringin football home to billo.Like it or not.I have to.All I need u lot to do,is back me up when I tell the world I can bend it like beckham. you wouldnt be lyin.Ask ace. He`ll tell u I can,because hes seen more of em than anyone.when I whipped one round the lamppost in 17`s garden,it went from the road outside 18,it came straight down at aces feet.He stood there lookin pissed off when I first took it.he didn’t expect it to bend round the lamppost and come back on the road. I doubt even beckham can make that shot. down billo, its a no.7 ace that gets on the end of em. When you read my families story, you will be blown away.This street is a very special street.Look at the shape of it from above. Does it look canon shaped.Like it was built to host the explosion that spreads all over the world.our back garden,could be seen as the stand to arsenals ensign. All these things are fully explained in my fcukin side.I dont have any printed copies ,just a few disks.Its first come first served.Everyone on the street,hits billionaire status wi me.everyone on our street tells everyone they care about,all about this book.when you’ve had your copy  and read it, you can sell it. a first edition of the first chapter of the next testament,is goin to be worth how much…? They’ve cost me everything I had an everything I have.Each copy costs about a tenner to print off.if you can cover that cost at least,I can print more an more copies off.not only do I bring football home to England, I legalise gange,and end all child killings for good.I unite all the faiths into one.u jus wont quite believe whos been livin among you all for all these years.jesus Christ aint comin.They sent me to finish off what he began a very long time ago.when I went mad,it was because id realised who I was.I had to figure out a way to tell the world. how I tried to tell pple before only got me sectioned. By people who don’t live in the real world.writin this the way I have, ive made fcukin dam sure I get it right. I don’t live long enough for a third chance.You tell me I aint the one,after youve read my book.youre all in it as soon as u want to be.the 2^nd book is well under way,an some of u are in it already. The whole street has won the greatest lottery goin.This book is the gravy train of all gravy trains. u have a place on it. if every1 on our street told jus 2 people,an they told just 2 more people,thats all it would take to begin this explosion.The greatest celebration for 2000 years. the reason im campaigning for legalisation,is because cannabis gives me a 2000year memory.Find a judge dumb enuff to punish me for smokin that.if u take it back right,it takes u right back.I have a level of intelligen ce,u`ll either think of as alien,or as super normal.Whatever,theres no one on this planet that comes close to my genius.Whoever wants a copy,all u need do is ask me for one at my door.its all on disk.All those online,how many pple can u tell. Within a day,our street will b known all over the world.im doin it myself anyway ,I could do wi all the help I can get to be honest.How can they section a whole street ,when we have undeniable proof,that this is where jesus lives today. once weve achieved a global awareness,david beckhams on his way to billo.To number11. the home of English football. when he turns up,we`re goin to have a competition. Whos the king of freekicks.The England captain,groomed in luxury,to perfection , or me,dirty beckham,in the work boots. The estate kid who one day grew up to take over the world.in my family,I had the nickname evil akiens.when u hear about my family of the past,u jus wont be able to help yourself,but believe I earnt it.whats so special about my families story…?Well,it starts like this…my great granddad, went off to work in a factory, making shoes. He was born on the 3^rd of december 1839.in 1865,he came out of the factory,an went into business. The akiens steeple jacks of payne street belgrave.He began climbin the colossal chimneys,that served this country so well.thru out Queen Vic torias empire years. th industrial revolution,was th backbone of englands boom period.Our chimneys were always the dirtiest.Either very v tall or hit by lightenin.We climbed above those breakages,to bring em down brick by brick.Th hardest way of all.we never burnt them out or blew them up.our way was the safest for every one else but us. Our chimneys rocked.We bought them down by hand.When we stood on the tops of chimneys, they rocked on the crack that went clean thru its spine. Maybe 1 or 200 feet below u.for 101 years we climbed everything ever put in front of us.4 gene rations went thru hell up there for us,it was my job down ere 2 write about it all.all the characters & events of our past have been bought back to life almost , in the way ive written this. i could be dyin. The vicars don’t care or believe im the bloke who finishes what JC started.Ive told em time an time again. inspite of tellin em I could be dyin,u think that would have em comin 2 see me.their sole purpose in life is keepin an eye out for JC.Are they scared of Sid.?Now that kens been butchered,I have to come out.I left copies with about 10 diffrent lots of people,all of whom were capable of breakin this news to the world None of em did.I told each,that news of my return, would be th miracle needed to save an innocent mans life.ive been watchin the news 2 see if news of my return has surfaced anywhere.How do u think I feel,when I dont hear that news on th telly.I hear ken was beheaded.These people have blood on their hands.Not tony blair.some kids in the street are goin to be upset if I do die.This is my way of easing their pain.I wrote it for all our kids.my kids need to read this.more import antly,I want them comin back to my mams house again.this book is their inherit ance.All of em on billo.Dad ask me to.he keeps remindin me in my dreams.Tellin me how 2bring football home 2 England.to billo.We`re all about to hit billionaire status, if we all agree to get along. The vicars wont listen to one person,so I think its time I got billo involved.I told both vicars at the top & bottom of the hill.Our world between their 2,is like another planet to em.theyve got no idea of the lives we live,or the problems we all face.Theyre waitin for JC2 turn up shoutin halle looya.Fcuk em,the ignorant bstards.He aint spoutin ote biblical,hes shoutin,”blue army”I can prove re incarnation.I can prove we pass thru all races an colours.It ends racism. why else do I have the scar of bob marleys poisoned big toe ? bunny told me that story. I gave my psychiatric team a copy of my book.im still here, so I cant be mad. You don’t have much choice really.Just like I didn’t have a choice writin this book.youll understand by the 3^rd of 4^th time of reading it.

My family climbed churches & chimneys. my climb was over everythin down here on the ground. One of my jobs was to write the book that replaces the bible. My family today begin their climbs after theyve read my fcukin side. they prove themselves to the family,by proving themselves to themselves.The akiens who know theyre akiens will have their toes to the line with me. then theyre all addin their bit to our fcukin side.the book the family write as a family.Each addin their chapter where it sits on the family tree.Its all over the telly at the minute, about family trees. ours sorts out all the shit.The Ian huntleys of this world.this book is the example for every family to copy.billo`s about to become the most famous st on earth.That makes us all jack pot winners of the best lottery imaginable. The best gravy train ever. to be on it just add your bit.If im goin,Im goin out laughin. AndyH said I was a genius once.he`ll never realise just how right he was. Genius, not madness. The world i leave behind, is the world we all leave behind.Trust !! albert square an coro aint a patch on billo. It all goes on down here. this is Real tho.

how simple is it

they used to call me allsorts.

Beckham an wa*ker mostly !!!

apparently, bob marley died of cancer. thats what it says on the legend album cover. someone on billo told me about a conspiracy theory. he reckons bob was poisoned with a shoe. the white house didnt approve of his lifestyle. he promoted race trouble and drug mis-use. cannabis inspires me just the same as it did bob. in a different direction tho. maybe there is some truth in it after all. my big toe has a scar that could resemble a needle. it proves one thing,re-incarnation is evident, and it runs side by side and through all the colours. racism is over when this is common knowledge all over the world. what did happen to bob, and what about 2pac while we`re about it. im the Rapper who`s Rapping it all up for them lads. i cant Rap to save my life. not like that anyway. what about kennedy..?  have we really put a man on the moon..?  who knows the truth about these things.....?   someone does.

my auction room    ( our shed )

if you think im cheapening everything the church does, im not at all. theyve looked down their noses at me for too long now. its the least i can do to ridicule everything they do. if they want to treat me like a dog, their place is my kennel. the walkers stadium is my place of worship. religion evolution vicar. you just stay where you are. holdin out that begging bowl to the old ladies. i wasnt good enough when i sent him letters telling him me and my mam, mother Mary, were goin thru hell. we had no money for food, the coincil sendin us eviction letter after eviction letter, i was supposedly goin through the nervous breakdown of all breakdowns. my employer of 15 years was happy to be payin me 29.96 and 32. 68. i had a fractured skull on top of that. the ex stopped me seein the kids. and pretty much all the friends i once had disappeared. my last wage slip was minus 5.73 if you can believe that fcuker. these are the hardships we face out here in the Real world vicar.you could call it a modern day crucifixtion. and you let my go on needlessly for 2 years. go online with this earns you your deserved walk of shame. youre on look out for me for fcuks sake. how many times do you need tellin. the gaffer at kingsway has a much more shame ful walk. my departure from kingsways was every bit as nasty as beckhams wa from man utd. now its my turn to wear the kickin boots. same with beckham after hes been to shake my hand at my front door. thats how he brings football home. then we start sortin out the wan*ers in both worlds.    

who wants this cross I made,im thinkin of makin the vicars carry it round with em fer 2yrs as punishment fer keepin me their secret 2yr.12hrs on,12hrs off.its well heavy. Its been in the shed a year, waitin to be used for that very reason. Not to crucify either of them for their ignorance if I die their secret.don’t worry about those two until I pass from this life their secret. then just watch what happens to them.they get off that hook as soon as I forgive them in this life. I have to shake hands with them. Their only hope is to do the duty they are paid to do.Keep an eye out for JC, and anounce it to the world..2yrs of that still dont come nowhere near as close,to how hard ive worked these last 2yrs writin this book, an keepin out the nuthouse. That’s quite tricky,when youre autobiography begins, “hello, my name is evil akiens”.it’s the truth.dad called me it for a laugh. Shame I dint know that then.  

Watching telly today, I saw a young African girl on the news. She was raped when she was 11, and was infected with the aids virus. When she said we are all equal in gods eyes, she was dead right. why the fuck aint more being done to help these kids. the long term mental damage that’s being caused to this nations children, only I can resolve their troubles. How can money dictate who lives and who doesn’t. I was happy the girl could still smile. Twatface phil told the coppers its upsetting for his children, the literature ive sent him. the spineless little shit worries about only his kids. even if I don’t make the world stage, I want to make sure these two vicars walk their walks of shame. From the time I visited them, til the day I die their secret. that’s how long I want them punished. Its 2 years 2 months and 2 weeks up to now. they’ve both grown very fat livin off the church. They need to be struck off. before dad strikes em off. if he don’t, I will from where dad is.  

Who wants this book....?  The Vicars BogRoll... 

Godwilling, he`ll let em use every page. one a day each.  LOL

I had to nick it from the trinity contact centre king st. ive coloured it in and wrote a load of bible notes like farter phillip said. ive stuck sum pics in it as well. just to hammer down the lid of the faith thats relentlessly turned its back on me time and again. when you fully realise the implicants on the secret they have kept to themselves the last two years... you wont blame me for hating them. everything bad since 911 neednt have happened at all. had they done what theyre paid to do. look out for jesus, not test him an shut the fcukin door on him. Phillip told me NO when I ask him for one. he didnt have enough to spare one. all them rows of empty seats week in week out. he couldnt spare me one. that meanness has cost the church that very book i asked for. now i dont want it. the akiens have for too long been looked down on. when its the akiens who should be doing the looking down on. as they do from the next life. as they always have and always will. those akiens are watching these vicars through my eyes. if dad can read my words as i write them, and repeat those times with global massive impact, those vicars have to find forgiveness before they meet their maker. the only way to do that in this life, is if i forgive them for it before i go off to join the family before me. i have to see them earning that forgiveness, until then there is no forgiveness, and there will be no forgiveness. I wanted to read it then. in hindsight, cheers phil. reading that would’ve only confused me.why should the son of god turn up. reading the bible an not the qur`an. A book I am very interested in.i need the people of todays belgrave to tell me all about Muhammad. Ive heard nothing but jesus this jesus that. if Christianity chooses to worship Christianity ahead of god through this book, when I am the one to unite all faiths, then this book belongs to Christianity, not god. Its obselete. Because I say it is. it was my life story last time, this time ive wrote me own, on me own.   It’s the 21^st century version  

                                     NOW ,   who wants this…..?                 God !!!

 Chappo got me these football trainers. he owed me 30 quid. he has been known to call himself god from time to time. eminems another name he goes by.  where as i cant even understand a word of rap, chappo can. one of the mates who was still around after the smoke cleared. proud as fcuk to be english. a mad `ead Buzz Rat if you dont know him. same wi swede. both good mates. one afternoon last summer me n adam were kickin the ball across the gardens from mine to his. we spent loads of hours out there. the fence pretty much got demolished. we were all havin a beer chillin, as usual. i whipped one over aiming for the goal. the hedge between adams and carols. i managed to beat him a few times. he reminded me of grobellar to be honest. without the tash. i could see it bendin in a bit too much. so could adam. adam resigned himself to knowin he wouldnt catch it. just as swede came walkin out number 9`s doorway, his full pint glass was raised to his lips, as the ball bounced off the top swedes swede. his teeth chinked the glass. straight away my arms went up in victory. when you get em just right, people just walk right into em. thank fcuk swedes got a good sense of humour. hes like ali.  luckily he stopped it goin in adams front door. imagine beckham takin a corner for preston. the stuff they got up to growin up, adam told me i wouldnt believe it. yeah i would. hes the one thats goin to struggle believin what i got up to.  sadly new fences have gone up leavin us with no pitch. only the street. Adams Sids Godfather.  adam was good to practise takin the freekicks with. ace makes em look good. hes brave enough to get on the end of em. he saw the shot of all shots. i doubt even beckham could make it. i challenge him to it. ace will swear to it it happened. hes one of the kids in our street who doesnt tell lies. he never swears either, which is a miracle down billo.

is this my tee or my ashtray....??   or both

would beckham take a dirty beckham freekick usin my tee like i had do em...?

 in my socks, when the shoes wore out !!       i can do that, Pi** Easy

the amount of trainin uncle T puts into a marathon, ive put the same into practisin that freekick. the carlsberg advert, sees clarke bumbin in the winner. i have his footie skills, with that freekick on the end of it all. dad never encouraged me to play as a kid. he said it were fer puffs. So i never played. carlsberg by the way, isnt the best lager in the world in my diary. its fosters top.

not good enough for Christianity… Fcuk em !!!

If i can prove re incarnation, i have to have examples. One very good one is of a Taylor. two Taylors married into our family, a hundred years apart. Our great granddad was huge barrel chested man, who fought bareknuckle up and down the country when working away. He hit with his full weight in both fists, with a lightening speed, freakish for a man his size. A speed he inherited from working on those ladders hundreds of feet up. his reflexes were a lightweight, his punches demolished you. three men died from a single punch to the head in belgrave. All of them in pubs. simply for showing him disrespect. Or showing great grandma disrespect. they swore in front of her. he was the original mad jack. when he walked among men on th ground, he walked like a king, and he commanded the respect a king would want. You just dint want to piss him off.he had it all.everything he needed in a fight,perfectly balanced,with a self belief in himself, that told him he could never lose. A proper bastard. granddad had the same ability, but in a different shape. His hands were forged by the fire when he was a young un. His knuckles were like elbows. Lightenin fast. When he boxed in the booths like great granddad did, he had to wear gloves. If the opponent had saw the hand that went in the right glove, they probably wouldn’t want to know. he didn’t need a horse shoe.  In our line we all have that devastating hit. I noticed with mine, if I hit you, and you go off to rape someone, you fall down twice. Once the first time, and then again on the anniversary. Its happened with quite a few people. Someone once hit me from behind as I walked through the doorway of our mams house. As I spun round, the door was slowly closing shut from me bumping into it. the velocity of the punch took that person off his feet, and several feet out the door. He didn’t bend at the knees, he just went straight back. he was down for 20 minutes but got back up. twelve years to the day, he broke his neck and died. He got back up from that, 2 ½ minutes later. That person was my big brother. Born on September 11^th. Dad was the akiens who learnt to think before using his fists. Because he had to set me the example. He knew my ability at 5 years old. He knew it was inherent. not having chimneys to climb as a 5^th generation natural born steeplejack, I had a fire inside me that needed direction. A new direction. Everything on terra firma. if im all those akiens behind me all rolled into one, perfectly balanced in body,mind and soul,I know I cannot lose either. When great granddad hit you, you bled from your mouth, your nose, both eyes,& both ears.He virtually burst your head. ALenny Mclean of his time, with more more firepower. more venom. In Leicester today, re incarnation shows me, those 2 Taylors that married into the akiens, reappears in Ronnie Taylor And he has as much idea as my mam has about any of it. I couldve called on his help throughout any of the crap that came at me,but I had to stand on my own two feet. If only jeevs knew how lenient Ive been.He tells Sis hes untouchable in Leicester he can walk in any club no problem.Hes one of the lads in town now. I imagine he must have Ronnies back up if that’s the case.When Ronnie hears how jeevs threatened to wipe out our family one by one, im pretty sure Ronnie will be on my fcukin side.Jeevs would never believe in a million years Ronnie Taylor would come second in a fight wi me.I cannot lose.Why should I test myself wi my great granddad jus to prove a point to everyone.I prove only myself to myself.Fcuk every one else. If hes my grt granddad re incarnated,im his great grandson come early,an all grown up.i need ronnies help just as much as i need beckhams Im lookin forward to meetin him jus the same as i am beckham.His pub is typically,th manor.There is another Ronnie in the plot.These 2 ronnies are little & large as well.Theyre both about 2 get the full respect they deserve Little Rons a driver.Ive heard pple say big Rons day has gone,an hes over the hill.I have some news for everyone,hes top dog.theres only 1 person Ronnie comes second to.his connections in town can hope fully get me the appearances i need 2 make at the various pubs & clubs I used to drink in wi my mates. For free. the only payment I want, is what I earn off the crowd.Come the end of each performance,my rucksacks open ,waitin to be filled wi cash, draw, and weed. And a slip of paper, with a name & address on it.each donation earns a copy of my book by post.On Cdrom.it brings football home, To the Real Promised Land, The Walkers Stadium.

http://www.lulu.com/content/9674 

http://my.lulu.com/author/item.php?fSubmitContentView=1&fCID=96771   

http://www.lulu.com/content/96838  

http://my.lulu.com/content/96771   GOD BLESS AMERICA    ONLY ONE DOLLAR

http://www.lulu.com/content/96746 

http://books.lulu.com/category/1081

some weblinks. these ones are from writers forums.  royalties are set up. ALL the akiens worwide can all dive into this fund, if they add their tuppence worth. it finances their chapters as well as mine. and anyone whos got a tale to tell about the akiens obviously. this is the gravy train of all gravy trains. or bandwagon

one lad i had to sort out, was a lad called lee taylor. he was blackmailing a school girl into having sex with him. we were at school ourselves, but what does that matter. his nose was obliterated in one hit. he didnt die though. he went on to rape an old lady in her 80`s, in her bed. he was burgling her house. he took his life in prison. he went off to hell on earth, and im glad of that. Lee taylor was the worst apple on his family tree. if you asked leicester, im sure theyd say Ronnie, if they dared be truthful.  i dont see my opinion as being evil. i see it as justice being served. god guides everything to you, , when he wants to punish you. within his power, he has the wind on your face and flies in your tea. the clouds show me pictures from time to time. its all in the finished book. 

i remember when i was 5, playin out in the street. our hedge had a gap in the middle from where we used to dive through it as kids. our mark was standin next to the gap, when i saw mandy green give him a slap. she was our lees age and she lived in kerrys house. the oldest of three girls. same ages as us three lads. when i saw what she did, i did what i always did as a kid. something i was very very good at. fighting. i took a run up, without her seeing me coming.  as i took her through the the gap in the hedge backwards, she was screaming in agony. as i rolled out of that dive and back onto my feet, i opened up my hands. a bloodied ear ring in each one. i gave em back to her, then she went screamin off down the street to grass me up. my mam remembers all those stories. what i was like a s kid. you didnt fcuk with my family. the akiens never back down. not ever. we`ve just had to learn to back away. i did some amazing things in fights. dad knew what he was on about, when he called me evil. what they say about the quiet ones being the worst, its all true with me. i cant fight because im afraid of what i might do. im not 5 years old anymore. and im a bit bigger than 3 foot. from some of the things ive done lately, ive no doubt at all, i still have that ability.  when i was 10 at wolsey house, we had the chance to cxompete for our decathlon badges. one event was throwin a cricket ball. i threw it a fair way for a kid my size. small and skinny. i imagined i was throwin a punch at someone. when the big man upstairs sends his next best, he arms him to the teeth with self belief. he has to in this world.

Dads psychology with me, was the one i needed. He gave me the belief I couldn’t lose any fight. Hed scare me ½ to death wi a story, then bring me out of it with a joke about it. his jack the ripper story is a perfect example. What dad did in his psychology, he was showin me to fear nothing in this life.

http://www.friendsreunited.co.uk/FriendsReunited.asp?wci=memberlist&school_key=381166&member_year=1986   

these are some of the people i went school with. i posted a fair bit on this site. up to the limit naturally.

a usual snap of me. always climbing. ive been getting my leg over all sorts ever since.  

  I used to go over walls and fences like this always as a kid. I was only happy goin over something. The few miles walk along the train lines was nothing at 5 years old. I was ready to go out into the world. Id be gone all day. Me n my mate, or on my own sometimes. The big gardens the other side of the track in birstall, their apple trees were much nicer. All sorts of fruit trees. The fences were about 2 foot taller than I was. A year before I was climbing the 18 foot drainpipe outside our backgate. I used to drop the 8 or so feet ont the shed roof below me. Mam never knew that. she just says, “oh climb, what, hes was forever up that shed roof. At 4 years old can you believe”  Those fences weren’t enough to  keep me out. Neither were the dogs. My litlle bro got bit in the face by a dog when he was a toddler. It gave him a fear of dogs. A fear I couldn’t have because of that. I remember scrumpin in one back yard. Me and my mate got caught scrumping apples. The bloke set his alsation on us. He made us eat the half carrier bag full of under ripe crab apples. My mate sat cryin as he ate his. The dog growled at him and the bloke was givin him a bollockin. They both left me well alone. I sat under the tree glaring at the pair of them. I ate my share and half his. I couldn’t taste em a bit. We weren’t nickin em to eat. They were ammo. I managed to sneak one in my pocket before we left. His backgarden had a drop of about 8 foot, so we had to walk  through his gateway out the front. As we got down the road a bit, he got a surprise. A crab apple came wizzin out the blue, takin off his sunglasses. My mate had to go to the toilet soon after, as we cut across a park. What that bloke made him eat, he left a traffic light with a dot leaf beside it. Three different colours. I didn’t have any such problems. That night I hatched a plot for revenge. I could barely look over our back gate then. A blonde flash mam would say. Always on the move dartin ere an there. Like a Real life calvin, who`s hobbs doesn’t show up for a few years. When it got dark, I made my way to the back garden where we dropped into earlier. Once I was in, I was on my own. As I dropped to ground quietly as ever, the dog appeared. Is it came bounding up the garden barking at me, I rushed him. I got down low and I rushed him with every ounce of everything I had. I threw it all in. as I came out from under the shadow of the tree, my arms were spread wide. My face full of rage. Animal like. I was goin with instinct. I knew the dog would back down, because it he couldn’t look me in the eye. He showed me he had at least one fear. I made sure I created another in what I did. Imagine a scorpion comin towards you with his pincers spread wide. About the same height as you. That’s what the dog saw that night. He turned an ran before I reached him. I knew if I had reached him, id have done whatever it took to survive. I was that kind of kid. As the dog went and sat whimpering by the backdoor, I sat under the tree, eatin the fcukers at my leisure. I  thought I did a pretty good job in convincing the dog, that  little kids are not to be trifled with. Id have hated it if my little bro had  gone scrumpin in there with his mates and something bad had happened.     

 In 1996, I took Lauren to the zoo to take her mind off dad. she was sad. She understood. One of the buildings had a few creatures on display. When I saw some bloke with a very colourful snake Rapped round his hand, I was 5 years old again. he looked a bit surprised when I asked if I could hold him, but said ok if I was sure I was comfortable. He coiled himself round my hand in a few seconds. Like a glove. I raised him up to eye level, and looked him in the eye. Respectfully. He looked away after a second or 2. I lowered him for Lauren to stroke. I knew hed be fine with it. she wasn’t afraid a bit. Her eyes were inches away like mine were. But I was a lad and 2 years older. She`s my little girl. Im so proud of her. that snake knew somehow. Don’t mess with this mans daughter.

“What kind of snake is it mate…? “

“ it’s a king snake. Immune to venom, and they kill other snakes “

In 1986, I went off to work for kingsway. My job title, is Rapper.  Me and john seal nipped in before kingsway took it over in 1983. the place was disused and dossers were kippin in the place. John left his callin card on steve dannos plank. The second I walked in the place and saw him workin there I thought “ hello turd “. My how first impression last. if im mad, and i imagined dad and me had that conversation, then why dont you ask my little sister who dad told her lived in the pumping station museum. he scared us to death and bought us out of it by makin it funny. he wanted us to not fear even those imaginary creatures. we believed them to be real. he couldnt scare me or my sis. only when he raised his voice. thats all he ever had to do. he never hit any of us. he was too lethal with his fists. he had a lightenin thunderbolt of a punch. like granddad, like great granddad, and like me today. and my little bro. hes got the punch as well. like ive said before, when some people lose, we find it. your lights out button. hello red nose day.

When I was a kid I used to nick a few pieces of dads jigsaw so I could finish it. id even help look for the missing pieces. This book is dads way of getting me back. Makin me finish this alone.

“you little shit”,he`d say as I dropped in the last few pieces hed spent ages lookin for.”

then hed burst out laughin,as he always did. I took the pi**, like he did wi me. those were the times we talked about during his last few months. the stuff i did as a kid that made him pi**.he laughed through it all.he was genuinely fearless. to everything. some of the people who lived on billington in 1986 will remember a very memorable event. a 40 strong gang of lads from beaumont leys, came down here looking to take us all apart. they filled the path from our hedge to the slope outside carols. dad told mam an sis to shut themselves in mams bedroom. this wasnt long after that pc keith blakelock was killed. these lads were mostly black. 2 days earlier theyd kicked fcuk out me on the park in beaumont leys. all my ribs both sides and both sides of my head were purple. i took a real whipping for no reason. dads words to us were very clear. 

"if any of them cun*s come over that hedge, get in the middle and work your way out. dont worry about hitting each other. right, come on. Lets Sort these Bastard Mongrels out once an for all " 

then he stepped out onto the front garden. he had his slippers on, and a crow bar in each hand. he lifted his glasses to the top of his head, and stood waitin. to see their heads drop one by one, you had to be our side of the hedge that day to fully appreciate what he did.  whatever he looked like, you just didnt upset my dad. bringin shi* to his door just wasnt done. he`d come out like a spider to flys. he had what granddad had, great granddad, all of them in my line. im the one in my generation has what they had. thats why i got called evil by dad. he had a wicked sense of humour. if he could read this today, im sure he`d be proud i never gave up. he`d be laughin out loud. 

that record label that turned the beatles down, these publishers are goin to feel a bit like them.This typically correct world we live in,its made to fit my fcukin side like a perfect glove. Ive got all the answers to all the questions you`d want to know.even tho I don’t know the questions yet.ill have the answers.Every problem, i have the solutions. Im the only one who has them

all these people fit into our tree somewhere. sticking their names on this website, im pushin em all in. pretty soon they’ll realise its how i make em all rich beyond their wildest imaginations. theyll love me for it, hopefully not posthumously. these people all hold a valuable piece of our story. the family that brought jesus down from the cross, are the Real Royal family.

1    HALFORD CLOSE ,  LEICS,   LE8 6EX            7 BABINGLEY DRIVE LEICS              12  PHILMORE PLACE KENSINGTON,LONDON

12      CAUBY CLOSE ,SILEBY, LEICESTERSHIRE, LE12  7PQ        124    ANCHOR STREET , LEICS,  LE4 5PU /  111 LINK RD ANSTEY LEICS

13     COLTBECK AVE , NARBOROUGH, LEICS,  LE9  5EJ      15  THURCASTON RD ,  LEICS,  LE4 5PG   15    WYCOMBE RD ,  LEICS,  LE5 0PP

16   WREN CLOSE ,MELTON MOWBRAY,LEICESTERSHIRE, LE13  0QE                  17  TRINITY CLOSE , SYSTON,  LEICS,  LE7  2LA  

14 BARKSTON GDNS,KENSNGTON,LONDN                 18    STAINMORE AVENUE, NARBOROUGH, LEICESTER,  LE9   5YX

19  BAYNARDS CRES,KIRBY CROSS,FRINTON-ON-SEA,ESSEX,CO13 0QT        20     ST. PETERS   STREET,  SYSTON,  LEICESTER,  LE7  1HJ

211   WANLIP LANE ,  BIRSTALL,  LEICESTER,  LE4   4GN         23   LINNET CLO, MELTON MOWBRAY, LEICSTERSHIRE,  LE13  0QB

24    LIGHTFOOT DRV ,  CARLISLE,  CA1   3BP   25   ELMSTHORPE RISE,  LEICS ,   LE3   1NF      22   HOLLANDF PARK RD,KENSGTN LONDON

30   GEORGE ROAD,  WEST BRIDGFORD,  NOTTINGHAM,  NG2   7PU         31   BRAMLEY ROAD,  BIRSTALL,  LEICS,  LE4   4FH 

 15  PHILMORE PLC,KENSNGTN LONDON            31   WILLOUGHBY RD,  COUNTESTHORPE,  LEICESTER,  LE8   5UA

34   GRICE CLOSE,  SHERINGHAM,  NORFOLK,  NR26  8UG      37    HADRIAN ROAD, LEICS,LE4   2PT  /  4  DAVID AVE, LEICS, LE4   2PH

37    LAITHWAITE CLOSE,  LEICESTER,  LE4   1BX        38   WILLOW ROAD,  BLABY,   LEICESTER,  LE8   4BF

4    MERRYMOUNT GARDENS, CLACTON-ON-SEA, ESSEX,  CO15  6NP      42   SOMERSET DRV,  GLENFIELD,  LEICS,   LE3   8QW

47   CUMBERWELL DRIVE,  NARBOROUGH,   LEICS,   LE9   5LB           54    BEAUVALE ROAD,  NOTTINGHAM,  NG2   2EX

55   SCRAPTOFT LANE,  LEICESTER,   LE5   2FD               6      HOLLY GROVE,   BLABY,   LEICESTER,  LE8    4GF

66    MILNROY ROAD,  LEICS,   LE5   2LU      7     SELBY AVE,   LEICS,  LE5  1SS    

83     WINSTANLEY DRIVE,  braunstone, LEICESTER,   LE3   1PF             9   JOHN SIMPSON DRV,  STRANRAER,  WIGTOWNSHIRE,   DG9  7PN

69   CRAVEN ROAD,      RUGBY,    WARWICKSHIRE,  CV21    3JY          14 holland park rd,kensngtn,London               

21 hyde park gate kensingtn London            34 lightfoot drv,  carlsisle, ca1  3bp                   

9   bedale drv Leicester   15 james st anstey leics         38  hill rise birstall leics               3 sawbridgeworth road herts                                   

27 fullhurst avenue braunstone leics              237 long furrow, e.goscote leics       48 huntsman way leics                             

23 turnbull drv braunstone, leics        33 windmill ave birstall leics        21  german street belgrave leics                         

 7 herbert ave belgrave leics  15  central ave, syston leics            31 HILLTOP RISE BEARPARK DURHAM            

 27 conniston walk parkside Hereford       22 lenton way frampton lincs         321 melton road leics  

  74 welford rd leics         1 4 church st, melton Mowbray leics       11 de vere gardens Kensington London           

 5 church street  derby    20 middleton street leics            42 woodbridge road leics  10 downing st 

45 ryegate birstall leics   25 payne st belgrave leics  27 payne st belgrave leics

the old crown rothley   leics    155 beaumanor rd belgrave leics      22  mornington street 

   219  aylestone road  leics        24  klondyke way melton, leics        27 klondyke way melton mowbray     

31  linnet cl  melton  leics  le13  oqb          23 jean drve leics     73  beaumanor rd belgrave leics

61 columbus way syston leics 31 lothair rd leics   24  klondyke way melton, leics  59  MOSSDALE,KINGSWAY,LEICS

  41 broad street syston  leics  17  station rd birstall   leics   26   west street enderby leics        18 hazel st leics

the duke carrick on suir co tipperary, southern ireland     7 gloucester walk kensington london.

admittedly, some of these could be bullshitting.  

the best way to find out who in the akiens family are Really akiens, is to ask em to tell you a story. the akiens s that are akiens, tell the most amazing stories. if you think all your dreams have come true with the return of jesus, he makes it more perfect by bringin the whole family. the one that jesus passed into for some reason. these are questions i cant answer on my own. the family have to have something to write about. every akiens worldwide comes from belgrave. in the 1980`s, there was a mass exodus. we passed through ellis island into america like an explosion. online today, there are in excess of half a million akiens births in the us. theyre all as much a part of this as all of those akiens in our past. a family full of Jackanories. i dont know any akiens that doesnt like to tell stories, or have a laugh and a joke over a beer. ive never met the copper so i cant speak for him. i told dad i wanted to be a copper when i was 14. having a master criminal mind, (well i never got caught for anything. my mates got me caught once or twice ) i could read people very well. not only did i have the answers to all the questions dad ever threw at me, i knew the questions id be asking. having a pure logical mind, determination, slyness, id have made a perfect copper. dad told me coppers were all billy no mates tho. so i never thought no more about it. since beginning this book, and takin on all this detective work , all my mates have disappeared. if it werent for the friends i have today this side of all the crap ive bin thru, id be a billy no mates. personally, i dont think they were capable of showing me the same loyalty i showed them. theyre still mates but not like before. one example of the kind of mate i was, was when shearer rang me one night. it was about 10 oclock and i was working. at the time i was taxiing at night and Rapping in the day for kingsway. he went round his birds flat, and somehow he found himself looking thru one of the windows. some lad was in there , and they were being extremely friendly shall we say.  shearer put his fist through the window, very nearly slicing his thumb off. he rang to ask me if i could take him hospital, but i told him i couldnt cos i was workin. when i finished about 1 am i went straight down to him at the leicester royal infirmary.A & E. i stayed til about 6 before i had to go work at kingsway. thats just one of shitloads of instances. i expected too much in hindsight. when i  first saw shearers dad, i couldnt believe my eyes. he looks just like my dad. when the family see him theyll agree the likeness is unbelievable.  

whats the bible if aint someones biography...?  my fcuker. an i dint know until 3 years ago. 

it aint like I aint been tryin to tell people. None of these idiots could see, or they were told not to act on it by someone. all of em kop it the day I leave their secret. and now yours too.Thats Armageddon to a vicar.Because I know the way to the next world,i also know the way back.in terms u can understand, im comin back to haunt everyone who stood in my way,by ignoring me. they get off the hook, only when I see the world beginning thru the eyes of my kids.i want to be a part of that world,for however long.

  When I was a kid, I remember seeing my aunt Jackie down grandma and granddads. I was maybe 4. it was down martin street. She had a bag of fifferent coloured boiled sweets. every time I guessed the colour right, I got the sweet. How much incentive is that to get a kid learnin. I picked my colours up very quick. there was however a drawbeck. One I didn’t see comin at all. then I had to give my aunt a kiss. I wasn’t isn’t that sloppy kissin stuff then. I didn’t like the idea, but there could be more sweets to follow. From the very tender age of 4 years old, I was bein shown how to ponce. In later life, I perfected that art. When youve got the csa skinnin you, an your workin all hours, needs must. I was never meant to have it easy. i had a 7 horse accumulator when i was 18. the first 6 won. the last one running let me down. that kind of told me i was never meant to win anything.

 when dad died he left us nothing of material value. he didnt leave us with any debts either. he left me the climbing belt he never used. he made me promise i would get it from the family after granddad died. he couldnt emphasize enough the importance of me having that belt. our mark got his weddin ring. sis had a ring from grandma. lee didnt get anything. he`s very cheesed off about that. he got his life back after he died.  he doesnt know why he died. i do. to legalise gange all over the world. he died fetchin it. i wrote a book on the stuff. without that, you wouldnt be readin this now. when you take it back right, it takes you right back. all the way back to your last life. and even the next.  a vision express with a difference. 

if u want proof I can bend em just as good, I can prove it in writin,surely.ask ace at no.7 alternatively.When DB takes that freekick, look what happens 2 his body.Not the ball. When I was 7, I had a fight with someone I should n’t have.My big bro. When dad found out,he hit me. 1  punch to the chest. Like Richard Pryors dad did.The only time dad ever laid hands on me.When that greece goal went in,dad was sayin sorry for it.u never hit ur kids.No one gives u that right. God don’t! if u want the freekick, heres how i got it. Bein Blonde helps no end.don’t give a sh*t what pple think.When u work up a sweat.That blonde hair whips ur eyes.it stings,creatin “blindspots”but u ignore it, like u ignore all the jealous assh*les, who dont want u to score. Theres a job to do, and focus is every thing.U know to keep em open.U don’t wanna miss what uve just done with that ball.I get the same view he does.I only get to see mine once.From 1 angle. His angle.I practise hittin lamp posts & telegraph poles on stocko.The place flickers if its dark.I whip em uphill into big green as well. It’s the best way to disguise em.A dream scenario,would be to fill a stand wi convictd hooligans,blind fold the fu*kers, then let me & DB pick em off 1 by 1.What I can show DB,he`ll have pin point accura cy in play,speeded up.Swing wild for England, make it look good,& live the dream.If u took Ronnie the rockets cue, an glued a wine gum on the end.thats the diffrence in mine & DBs foot wear.Id love a real pair! Them boots e wears, Now that’s what I call bling! when I get his treatment, I get to shine in my own way.I need to big up.I make dirty look good.Cooler than beckhams look.Easy Imagine bein DB, knowin that from this point on, no one will ever cut him down.His best footie,is ahead of US. We don’t need refs if we don’t need coppers.Video screen votin.Reffed by fans on a millionire style touchpad.Ask th audience type stuff!It stops England getting robbed all the time. jumpin liberty x, gets the party started how we mean it to go on. If I don’t make the party, blame jimmy and phil totally.This is what becks reads,in my place.All my family & friends are needed,to tell the story I tell alone.

pullin birds and bein The Jack the lad, has its fair share of ups and downs. for example, when i was taxiin, there were a few women who worked all week to go out on the piss on a friday. the highlight became the ride in an and of town. they told me. im sure theyd admit it if they werent married. i seen it all deliverin people to their various heaven an hells. when beckham was swannin round the world livin a life of luxury, i was drivin down churchgate gettin bags of chips thrown at the window screen. that sarong gave me even more shit. wearin victorias knickers did me no favours at all either. low points came when birds were singin " i am the one and only" to me. ive been called everything but my name. ive lived a life most people can only dream of. i did it all on the cheap as well. the laughs and the good times were followed by bad.its very sobering,to hear a the person youve just split up with,doesnt want to live without you.i had that worry a few times. i had a few that attempted suicide. they didnt want to let go. like a lot of blokes in todays world. if you aint both happy in a relationship, married or other wise, you need a break. this book will help ease that. it distracts you long enough to get over it.  

That Conger Eel & Octopus granddad used to serve us up seemed to pay off......LOL

everyone of these women were written about respectfully. so none of em were forgotten. part of my job for the family was climbin these 52 chimneys. the first opened up a whole new world to me. the first page of a whole new chapter. all the rest followed, because they were all meant to be. lisa was the most special to me. she has to be, because of the kids. they all gave me experiences i learnt from. i seen it all. i walked like jack the lad. theres no denyin that. ive already walked that walk. a walk i want to repeat. i made dirty look very good. and continue to. bein beckhams poor reflection on the street, ive always bin skint. i did all these on a budget. an akiens family trait thru an thru.   

My cousin Kim. to most of the people i know, hes just a dirty stinkin paki. like most in belgrave today. i see that side of Racism all the time. ive had to learn to ignore it. for a while at least. i know exactly how it feels to be treated like a dirty stinkin paki. im treated the same this side of the river, by my own kind. my own faith included. Kim was more an englishman than any i know this side. i wish i got to know him more than i did. to lose his life so tragically on his daughters birthday, thats how we get punished. even our special days are taken away. Aunt Moe is mystified as to why Kim was taken. i know she asks herself that question every day. Kims life is given purpose in our story being told in full. it also gives his death purpose. He died that day, so the akiens could pick on the worlds greatest superpower ever assembled. an make it look like the complete joke it is. the akiens arent cursed, we`re blessed. these 2 headstones go well together. Ride Free SteepleJack if the business had survived, Kim would have been a climber. his wild streak as a kid came from not having that release. no chimneys to climb. just like i didnt. at Kims funeral, a motorbike went past every 3 seconds, for a few minutes. Kim was a biker. his love of motobikes came from granddad. granddad used to tell me of the motorbike he bought. it won the 1933 TT apparently. him an grandma used to go all over the place on it when they were younger. i like to write my signature with pride just like granddad did. i like the hidden middle name i have. i can make complete sens of everything around me. i know someone whos signature, matches his state of mind Readin this. He shows his pride for his name thru his signature. looks to me like hes abandoned all ties with his name. id be very glad of that if i was the head of that family. the head of that family made him like that. who else is to blame...? i lost count how many times this idiot told me he didnt have a brother. and that he wished he was dead. just because daddys leavin him 49% . is that a cup of early grey, or mr steves signature...? 

in titanic, kate doesnt miss a trick. in Real life, its Jack who doesnt. i see things you dont think about lookin into. one thing i didnt miss, which should raise an eyebrow or two... my big bro was born on september 11th. he died for 2 1/2 minutes and came back. on september 11th 2001, i was paying off a debt i didnt owe. exactly when the planes were hitting. its on the council computer if anyone wants to check it. kingsway were lending me the money to pay it off. how very generous of them to help me out like this. youd think so wouldnt you. they were throwing another noose around my neck. the gaffer purposely kicked me mentally everytime i couldnt pay him his 50 quid. id love to know if he was as skint as he sounded back then. it was like i wasnt giving him his rent money or summat, an he was about to be evicted. like it was for us at that time. sally morris from the council up jersey road really was relentless. you could paper my bedroom with all the eviction threatening letters she sent us. the gaffer was happy for me to be walking out with less than the legal amount, because at least, even tho i wasnt doing many hours, he didnt have to pay the sick pay. you think hed have topped up the sick pay to the minimum amount the law says you need to live on. 29.96, 32.68 , 32.68...need i say more.

the wage slips are all the proof you ned of that. i had a fractured skull then. he was happy to let me come in and work for a pittance. i did it so he couldnt throw it back at me. id sooner lose the money than give him the satisfaction of moanin at me. he enjoyed it. he must have. if he didnt, he was a calculating devious sly bastard. i remeber standing at the desk with him in the middle factory. it was when i told him i had no choice but to press ahead with suing the firm because of the accident. he told me our friendship would be over if i went ahead with the rightful claim i had. he bullied me into accepting a pitance that left me seriously short of what i needed. what i wouldve earnt. i was gobsmacked when he came out with it. i was glad then i listened to wheeler. and i taped it all. as he said the words,"our friendship will be over", i saw him glance sideways at me. he was looking for a reaction. he knew the rellevence of what he`d just said. i didnt react, i just took note of that look. the transcripts of those tapes will come back to haunt brian respectable j danson. theyre only his words his readin. he can hear them if he wants, but im sure that will probably be too painful for him. as painful as it was for me hearin them when he said em.  the lads used to add a penny to their wage books, to see if they could get away with it. the more skilled workers of us were paid by the job. piecework. the faster you go, the more you got docked. i got docked more than any of em. the longest serving employee, shouldnt have to be told about a payrise a few months before. i should have got the bastard with everyone else. when i told the gaffer, he just said, "aah, bloomin ell scott, sorry about that". he didnt argue a bit. how strange of him. i asked for it to be backdated which he duly did. our workin week consisted of 15 hours plus overtime. i didnt get the overtime backdated. this is the level of penny pinching, that we at kingsway had to contend with. no one ever got the penny. lez was goin to book a bag of mcain oven chips for 69p , thinkin he could slip it by the gaffer. i dont think he ever did tho. it wouldve been a waste of time. with lez`s writin, he could probably have got away with it. the gaffer played on my loyalty. quite a few times i couldnt afford to pay him because of the csa takin so much. on the tapes i made of him, you get a few wicked examples. you can hear it yerself. 

what is it that should get everyones attention, what did i notice... both the gaffers sons, have missus`s born on september 11th as well. the two women suffer at the hands of this family as well. ones still with one of em. the last time i heard anyway. he used to go on holdiay a lot with his mates. every night he had a different bird. on every holdiay just about. shame really, his birds lovely as well. when i used to dig kingsways front garden up on sundays, she`d come and talk to me while shit fer brains cun*o went in the factory to fiddle the firm again. his wage books always had a few extra jobs booked down that he didnt do. he was renowned for it. when he got the car thru the firm, we all thought that was a pisstake as well. dave got fcuk all, yet he did all the hard work. steve conned and behaved like a wanker all the time. like the time he grabbed his mother round the throat and pinned her to the wall, because she pulled him up over a money issue. out the three blokes in that family, daves the best of a bad bunch. a bit simple but ok otherwise. he used to call me a brainless idiot. how i used to laugh out loud at that one.

today i got a letter from a very special one of the 52. im stickin it in because it shows how we on the street suffer in our world out here. when it happens to us, it happens to our twins soon after. when my victoria meets his victoria, theyre both in heaven. my vicki was very special, because she was honest, and because i know how much i mean to her still. ive not seen her for a couple of years. the laughs me an vicki had were very memorable. 

when i was taxiin, i drank wi my mates in syston. one night we were walkin back about 12 ish, along the melton road. i rang vicki from a phonebox. the kind of laughs i had wi my vicki, truly hilarious. 

"vicki, its me"

"hiya, y` alright"

"yeah vicki, listen, im in syston. jump in a cab an pick me up on the way thru. i aint got work tomorra "

" i cant "

" aah Vicki, dont say that " 

" no seriously i cant, im in bed wi someone "

" ha ! ok babe, have fun take care, ill seeya soon "

honesty was the most refreshing thing about vicki. take how we met for example. me n luggoles were in town one night. we went round a few pubs first and ended in krystals. luggoles it has to be said, could never be called fussy. he used to try to chat up every bird we bumped into. his logic was, one will say yes if u keep goin. id sooner wait for eye contact meself. wi vicki, i never got the chance. i hear that the Real beckham an Victoria spotted each other in the pages of magazines. ours was in the manner we`re both accustomed to. Dirty. as we were walkin round, i saw this bird in a silver full length dress. very nice i thought. i cant wait to see luggoles get knocked back ere. we were walkin straight towards her, and she was lookin. luggoles walked past without sayin ote. which i couldnt believe. as i walked past, she grabbed me by the Goldens. firmly but gentle. it was another 2 steps before i realised what had just happened. i realised instantly, she could be still walkin if she wasnt happy with what she found. for once i was a bit gobsmacked. i looked round and she was grinnin like a cheshire cat.   

" Luggoles, ang on mate ive pulled "

i walked up to her, took her by the hand, and just walked her straight on the dance floor.  

" elo chick , whats yer name then..? "

" Vicki, whats yours...?  "

" Scott , my mates call me beckham tho. dont hold it against me "

the next thing i knew, i felt somethin on my arm. 

" Vicki, did he just fcukin punch me then.. ? "

" yeah , who is it "

" its supposed to be a mate. back in a minute chick "

he said sorry after a few words about mates bein mates. i told him if he pulled id be happy for him, an id let him get on wi it. 

 one of the few times luggoles pissed me off.  hes lineker in the story. luggoles lineker. a navy lad, whos also our albert trotter.  " in the navy "  

" ok luggs, shut the fcuk up, weve heard it all before "

Fantasy Football + Girl Power   =   The Real Super Power  FCuk the bush admin 

ive been takin dives of all kinds over the years in different ways. some of those 52 helped me perfect one particular kind. all part of the job. bein celibate the last year an a half, id never believed that possible. having an addictive nature, i was i guess addicted to sex. my mates would never believe it either. i couldnt have done this with distractions. i had to give that side of things up as well. sacrifice to the vicar. besides, i reached the magical 52. states, mingers, whatever you want to call them. just be happy i was respectful enough to write them down. these 52 bring girlpower home. all things being equal, if i can get away with 52, why cant my sister...?  one man, one woman, one marriage for life, thats all good while theyre both happy. when one is no longer happy, its time to change things. arranged marriages are not part of any religious culture so i hear. how true is that..?  im sure the asian women will welcome the equal right to what my sister should have. all things being equal. for years ive been told im the most victimised minority goin. a single white male, living in my own country. england. if you wee to ask my opinion, id say i am a victimised minority. id say the most victimised majority, is asian women. i have eyes. i see it for myself when i walk through belgrave. one thing i would like to sy to the asian men of belgrave, particularly the older ones. stop fcukin spittin all over the place. its disgusting, unhygenic, and disrespectful to your host country. all the shit england put india through, i can make it all better in no time at all. all her problems dissappear. you clean belgrave up, ill clean india up. all those wartorn middle eastern countries need a western makeover. all the ghettos all over the world need cleaning up. if the bush admin have that program in the pipeline, id love to see it. if they aint, i guess i must be the only one who does have it. the bush admin need new direction. they need to be doin exactly that. administerin the bush. all americas problems come to an end as well, if they listen up. the national security issues all dissolve with my advice. the medical insurance problems, people struggling on welfare, the drugs problems, gang warfare, crime syndicates, every problem, i sort them all out. it aint like im askin for an impossible miracle is it.  theyre only 500 years old fer fcuks sake. who are they to be pushin people around. theyre the new kids on the block, with a gun thats too big for em. a green carpets better than a red one. belgrave used to be called dummy town. its time belgrave had a new name. bifta town in 2004 adb. no longer a dummy town.someone told me that sikhs openly embrace cannabis. i dunno how true that is, but it adds up to me that you bring it if george wont send it. after tea its the best thing you could bring us. that kind of carpet bombing i think i can handle. what chance is there of it rainin bags of top grade grass. i supposes theres more chance of it rainin frogs. when my twins came along on my birthday, i knew i would allow them the same equal freedoms. because i have to. however victorian i might feel, i know i have to let go. thats where the answer to girl power lies. much of my success with women came from my philosphy. ive always said, that if you call a bird a slag for being open minded, and sexually uninhibited, she wont give it you. i admire them for being honest. when you meet my victoria, you`ll see just what i mean. if everyone adopts this attitude, women will be women. theyll want to be. when the lads are all fully aware of this, theyll be actin more like gents. the women will love em for it. to get the full picture, you need to read my fcukin side. obviously the vicar will be panicking that a world of orgies and a promiscous society awaits. and there fore how can i be the one. let me reassure you in another way. i live in the real world. i see the crap first hand. most of the time its comin at me. this promiscous society wont come. ill tell you why. think sweet shop. i never imagined in a million years i could go without for this long. if i can, anyone can. ultimately, this makes marriage special again. your think tanks have about 2 years of mental equasions to go through, before they come up with that final finding.     

ive had a few years figurin out this computer and the whole internet experience. ive heard a few people say the internet is the work of the devil. like fcuk is it. we have the perfect teaching medium. imagine an internet where you didnt need credit cards. i imagine that would be everyones dream come true. its possible.   

A funny thing happened in Kavos one night. A few other brits we met told us some horrific stories. There were some greeks raping brits on the beach late at night. Men and women. the lads were also given a Chelsea smile. When I heard about that goin on, it did my head in. that takes bitin the hand that feeds you just a bit too far. I went for a slash in the bog, and I imagined seeing it happen. a shiver went down my spine and  I had a mad moment. I saw the cubicle door almost shut. I slammed the door shut, ripping the handle off as a souvenir. Ive still got it. I walked along the beach with that bog door handle. The 5 minute walk along the beach or a 25 minute walk by road. I only took the road when id pulled. They werent telling me to keep off the beach, just like my doctor cant keep me off the grass, just like god couldn’t keep my granddad off them chimneys. If its that way, im goin that way. That’s our philosophy. The same one that sees “Terry the Trotter” reachin the ends of his marathons. It was usually light by the time I got back most mornings anyway.  how was I to know id locked some greek bloke in there. he came out by himself at some point. who was that on the world stage…? ?   if you want proof of gods forgiveness for homosexuality, george earnt it for everyone. coming out the way he did, it was a sign i needed to see. him coming out like he did, when i put it all together, he risked all. in this world full of stalkers and wierdos. how could i earn the forgiveness for homosexuality, when im the furthest bloke from it. without a homophobic bone in me. and there never will be !!  ive had plenty of blokes ask. especially when them rotten fcukers at topps told everyone i was. then sent me to pick em up. one or two got a smack across their hand, and a look off the devil. we need to find the cures for aids. for those kids in africa if no one else. 

what did the greeks do that was such a diabolical liberty..? 

because work was on the decline at kingsway, i had to make up the cash elsewhere. me and the lads decided on a goin abroad. kavos. the csa were takin 70 quid a week off me. i had to take a second job to pay for it. by day a rapper, by night i was deliverin pizza`s all over beaumont leys, to people with the munchies mainly. i got kicked to fcuk in B.leys when i was 16. a very rough place when you look at other areas in leicester. i worked 6 nights and my usual hours at kingsway. i started goin in later, which obviously they werent goin to mind. it paid for kavos, an i didnt mind lowering myself to do it. i didnt see it that way. i enjoy drivin an meetin people. the taxiin after kavos was inevitable. anyway, this night me and phil ended up with these 2 birds. a nice one for a change. we went in a burger bar about 3 ish. am. phil stopped outside with the bird he was tryin to chat up. things were lookin very promisin, so i never ordered anything. she ordered her food and a few minutes later, a manuel minus the mustosh appeared. gave her her food and dissappeared. we sat chattin while she ate, and the greek bloke came out again. about 5.5, slick black greasy hair, fresh from national service. he bought a plate of grub out for me. he stood there holdin the plate, then informed me my food was ready. i told him i didnt order anything. in that situation, i wouldnt eat until later. he still stood there lookin like he needed a full frontal lobotomy. he told me again , so i told him again. i asked him what it was, and he said a chicken burger with fries. now i knew i didnt order that. i was sick of chicken burgers. i ate loads workin to pay for that holiday. he sauntered off with a bemused look on his face. 15 minutes later we went to leave. before i know it, this little zorbas in me face spittin feathers. demanding i go back in an pay for the food i ordered. he got told to get fcuked. the rounders bat in his hand kind of told me that wasnt goin to work. still, if at first you dont succeed. as if by magic, a load more just like him appeared. they had rounders bats as well. things were getting very heated by now. by the 4th or 5th get fcuked they they were about ready to go. so  was i but i knew i couldnt. Phil told me to pay it. i told him no i wasnt. they were in effect takin my dinner money off me, when i dint have dinner.. the bird i was with also told me to pay it. i was ready to lose it. the injustice of it all. im sorry to say it, but its only the truth. dad always said, if you tell the truth, you have nothing to worry about. i told her to get fcuked as well. which obviously, she did pronto tonto. it gutted me to have to go back in and pay for it. to me i was takin a dive. the alternatives were either a greek hospital, or a greek prison. i walked for an hour or so to get my head together. i came across some bird sittin on some steps. she looked as pissed off as i felt.i sat down an we got chattin. she was a bit on the biffa side, but she was happy to talk to me. a beckham lookalike from leicester in kavos. and she was a real live man utd fan, from manchester would you believe. when phil got back to our digs, his bed had that man utd fan in it. i dunno where he ended up. id found out he used my bed on the first night there. sweet revenge. phil just poured himself another drink and sat on the balcony til she woke up and left. a proper good lad. i was glad i shared wi phil. we had some wicked laughs. some real good uns.  those greeks luckily were only a few that let the side down. when beckham stepped up to take that 93rd minute freekick against em, i was prayin he`d get it every bit as much as he did. i watched it in slow motion. i could see how perfect he got that one. i sat gobsmacked in front of the telly with sid. as he took off on that run, i said to myself, jesse fcukin akiens. every other england fan was probbly sayin jesus christ. then i made sid jump. my dad would never believe it in a million years id actually pray as footballer scored a goal. i did that day. as i saw that greek wall jumpin about, holdin their nuts for no reason, he paid em back for it. 

Kavos 99, was the closest Dirty Beckham ever got to heaven. the Only time he ever got off the island. 

( other than tipperary twice)

tipperary ? yeah ive been. an yeah, its a long way. id love to know all about the people in this castles history. i have a very very strong feelin, ive lived here at some point in history.anyone clued up on the place, will tel u after theyve read my book
well worth the second visit. the first time i stayed wi the walls of carrick,the 2nd time i stayed wi the cookes.i couldnt have asked for better people.i imagined ireland to be full of gypsy types.the kids ask me what team.man utd or liverpool.?"i dont follow that big jessies game",was my answer.if i go back a 3rd,ive got beckhams freekick to show em.stereotypings an awful thing.i couldnt be more wrong.it was lively at christmas wi all the lads back home,but they kept it to themsleves.the roman catholic father jimmy,he`s nothin like the good people of ireland i met.i emailed him an posted letters by hand,tellin him how poor we were.without food and heatin.he ignored me completely.after id told him i was jesus as well.them paddies at home,they couldnt feed me enuff.

Sid akiens. The Original

He gave me the dream

Who else could I name the dog after?

From the second I saw the two red ears and the bald patch he turned up with as a pup, he had to be a Sid. Granddad had bald patches and his ears were burnt in the fire that robbed him of all but his victory fingers on his right hand. I knew how lucky I am to have this hair. Why shouldn’t i have it lookin proper. If you don’t like it, buy a fcukin wig ya jealous shi* !! (my wrist went before beckhams.i saw his injury comin) 6 6

                        A  Great  Granddad.                              The Dirtiest grandson  Grandson  6

somethin else . He really was. he had the bluest eyes. you cant tell in this photo.  what they saw, unimaginable.  Those hands were like lightenin. Like a bag of elbows comin at ya.   The greatest story teller ever. The Jackanory. thats where dad got it from. he got his sense of humour off grandma.

 He was amazingly versatile inspite of only having 2 fingers. he did all his own mechanics on his workvan. He loved cooking like i do. Granddad was always makin fruit cakes and such.  He used the popular saying, "you are what you eat, quite a bit." if theres any truth in it, he used to cook octopus and conger eel for us when we were kids....   

this was granddad meeting the then prince of wales. the one who gave it all up for a woman. granddads tellin him about the accident that left him with only his victory fingers.

Granddad couldnt carry a pint in his right hand, unless he stood it up in the palm of his hand. I used to have to carry cups of tea like that, because of my blistered fingers. They were literally worked to the bone, when I was Rapping

He did more than anyone to instill in me a pride in our name. what our family did for this country, its time everyone realised. Its time we gave them credit for it. how I do that in my book, it pretty much brings em all back to life. I hope he shook hands with as many vicars as possible. They let a crippled man fix their roofs and steeples. Who had self belief.?No wonder dad laughed out loud when he took a toilet break up there.  

Where our house is, granddad caught a fox. He didn’t kill it. he just caught it to have a look at it. 30 years or more before our house was built. there used to be a farmhouse here. the footings are all around where my table is I built for the kids. granddad caught all kinds of things. he caught adders in bradgate park for the hospitals so they could make medicines and anti venoms from. He said they used to stink on the bus comin home. he bought em home in biscuit tins. He used to lay in wait in the bracken for them. I imagine that’s how he caught the fox. Them fox hunters piss me off. if I can walk past foxes,  with Sid, why cant they. Theyre all quick to call the fox a pest. This so called sport has had long enough. The government fail here, because they take away the livelihood, with nothing to replace it with. Surely some other form of recreation can be found in the English countryside. Im sure theres plenty of people in the fox hunting circles ready to put themselves in the foxes place. How many will it take one by one before they run out. how would they like to be in the foxes shoes. They get to run off across somewhere like Yorkshire. Across the moors. Me and sid are coming after you. its best you keep your dogs at home. sid goes thru them like theyre rats. Why should they suffer for your stupidity. Them foxes are to be left alone. Theyre filberts mates. How can I condone foxhunting, anymore than I can condone them yanks bombin fcuk out of whatever they like. Theyr both very important issues to me. in the great scheme of things, one resolution doesn’t come without the other.

granddad was only a little bloke. little sid they called him in the family. 5.6 with bow legs and he walked a little hunched. leaning forwards . his hair was swept back to hide the burnt patches. his hand was something monstrous to look at at first sight. he was the least racist person i ever met. he didnt care what you looked like, if you didnt care what he looked like. he was just happy you bothered talkin to him. he told the best stories as well. my family wouldnt have tolerated racism in belgrave.   neither do i. if you lived in dummy town in the early part of last century, you knew the akiens. 

granddad used to tell me of a bloke who used to walk through belgrave. a big man who always wore black. he had an english bull terrier, and no one ever bothered him. his dog was all black though. a mysterious figure granddad didnt know as well as he would have liked to. the stories granddad told me about pete, aunt Moes dog, i fell in love with the breed. granddad gave me the dream. a dream i never let go of. all my life ive dreamt of having a dog like Sid. hes all my boyhood dreams come true. beckhams is winning the world cup. thats just a matter of time, once his dreams met up with mine.   

  bring both goldenballs to this spot right here, you bring the 2 halves of jesus today back together. this is where it fantasy football kicks off. Jesus Today is a Born Again Blue Army fan.

i wer a man utd fan but ive seen the light. if i can prove god sees thru my eyes, why not beckhams as well. both goldenballs are gods golden eyes. put us both in v neck tops, from gods viewpoint, would we look like the 2 goldeneyes of God coming together...?

There are literally thousands of mind blowing secrets uncovered in the book ive wrote for every one. All you cousins, aunts and uncles. You wont realise theyre secrets until I point them out to you. the akiens in our family will see it like the akiens should. One example of a secret the family under grandma & granddad should believe. I cant help it if ive uncovered these things. I just have to tell everyone. Granddad had a hidden agenda. One he couldn’t tell anyone. he knew we all have a twin on the world stage. he left us clues on the birth certificates of all his kids.check them out.I only know what it says on 2 of the 5.if I told you he lived his life believing he was paying the penance for jack the ripper, youd say I was Jacobs.I wouldn’t blame you a bit.He did tho. He was a jack made to work high up away from people. With a hand that couldn’t hold a a knife. I always had a nagging thought in the back of my mind about this. even as a kid. he lived a punished life. you wouldn’t want it. my granddad was nothing like that jack at all. as I checked things out in history, I found something very remarkable. On my birthday,in 1910,a bloke called jean baptiste de jango Reinhardt was born. he lost all but his victory fingers on his right hand. Like granddad. he became a jazz musician inspite of his handicap.At some point around 1890,there lived a thing called“jean baptiste de something or other”A soldier with a droopy eyelid  A hunchback type. Monstrous looking and monstrous behaviour. He got kicked out for raping  young recruits.From there his life was spent in and out of prison. I learnt of this jean baptiste when I was reading about possible jack the ripper suspects. One case he was credited for, was a truly horrific one. he watched a farm house one morning, waiting for the son to go off to work in the fields. His 88 year old widowed mother was doing her chores in the kitchen. He raped her across the kitchen table, just after he`d disembowelled her. in those days, that crime was new. Today, its happening all over the world. granddad died taking all his secrets with him. he knew one day one of us would figure it out.

  one story i remember hearin, was the time granddad broke his toe. the hospital had set it wrong so he broke it himself and re set it. his sister almost passed out watchin him do it. he had true grit. he knew it had to be done and he got on with it. when he was severly burnt in the fire that robbed of his right hand, the doctors wanted to amputate both his legs. great granddad made a decision he knew to be right. he told them no. he nursed him back to full health for a whole year. pretty much sacrificing his business. when granddad was in his thirties, the doctors told him a stomach complaint was due to his teeth for some reason. he had them all taken out, so granddad used to tell us.  how things were done i them days, its quite believeable. you could hardly blame him for not likin hospitals. the fractured skull and black eye, i had 2 days after granddad died, i ended up in hospital. i woke up 5 hours later, on a hospital trolley in a corridor. when i came round, i was sitting up talking to my mam. i was out for 5 hours. my mam really has gone thru the mangle with me. i only ever wanted to make dad proud. i always wanted mam to have a few good last years. her whole lifes been one you wouldnt want. she grew up in care, met my dad quite young when he was still steeplejacking. mam persuaded him to give it up. the business was just about dead. the chimneys that served this country so well were all becoming obselete. just like the steeplejacks were. like my Rappers job became. dad was no good to us dead, mam always told him. she worried he`d fall. needlessly. he always told her he`d always come home. dad got a lot of things right and a lot of things wrong. he made up for all the stuff he got wrong. he only got it wrong, because the upbringing he had didnt allow him the understandin i have. like all our parents. he got everything right with me. that was what he had to do. he had to prepare me, without tellin me.

if you want fairy tales, i can make a new one up. im the very artful dodger of belgrave, who`s nicked bills dog.tamed with love, and a football. or, another way to put it in lamens terms...

this has all been written by the man in the street for the man in the street.i dont have a single qualification to my name,only my drivin licence.u dont need em if ur writin ur lifestory for ur kids.just basic english.if u crossed beckham with delboy,im him too.i used to be always wheelin an dealin.dels "mum said on er deathbed..." well my dad took 6 months to die,and boy did we have some laughs.ive wrote down some of what we talked about.the rest im yet to write.at my lowest point,(hell on earth)i was going thru a nervous breakdown of all nervous breakdowns.me an mam were so skint we had no food or heating some days.kingsway were fully aware of all of it.they didnt offer tiny tim a helping hand,they put a notion of suicide in his head.well,those dark misunderstood days are all well and truly behind me.im back.they called me The Young Un at kingsway.

deep shit.....

 on september 11th 2001, when i heard the times of those crashes, shocks ran through me like lightening to the very ends of my fingertips. these shocks lasted hours. if there was ever such a thing as male labour, that was it. looking back, they were revellations to me. because of the full horror of what had happened, i couldnt see it. that day happened, to show me i am the one to stop it all. it gave me nightmares for a long while. i had to find something good to come from that day. im sure everyone involved asked themselves how could god let it happen. it broke his heart to let it happen let me tell you. i felt his pain down here. he wants everything running as it should be. he`s told me in life, and he tells me in my dreams. i know exactly how to sort everything out. if we leave things to bush, in 4 years time, we`ll all be eatin fish a lot more. logic and the law of averages tells us, gradually the earth will spin slower. theres 2 problems with this. that are easily resolved. if we dont, the earth will slip off its axis, and that means armageddon has arrived. firstly, we start stickin up windfarms everywhere. cut down on all the crap america pours out into the atmosphere. she has flouted international law and opinion on this matter for too long. then, we cap the heights of our buildings.  and we build the same ones on opposite sides of the globe. like in all those wartorn middle eastern countries, who could do with a bit of westernisation. theyve had 2000 years of suffering just as i have. this way, if we are reborn into another part of the world as i very clearly suspect, it wont matter. all children will be waking up in that world. when you see all the benefits of clubbing together, you really do lose all heart for going to war. for one thing, you kill, someone in your family falls down behind you. another thing,is if you can imagine a world with every available resource is now being used. all those negative areas of this world. like armies, navies, a police force, stockbrokers, fox hunters, if all these people are now doin something useful, we find the cures for all our deseases much much quicker. when you have proof of god, you have faith in him and each other. the benefits of a secret free world, easil outweigh those in this world we all live in. armageddon isnt coming, its a way of life we all pass through at some point. i can take everyone out of it.

Soul searchin, I know all about it. After the events of September 11^th 2001, I really know all about soul searchin. Because of the times, I knew it was up to me to make sense of it all. Every question anyones ever asked, as to why god could allow that atrocity to happen. How could anyone do those things in front of an innocent child. Reguardless of political motives. That takes some kind of animal. A monster. The level of searching needed to find the answers, took me through every emotion i know and a few more i didn’t yet know. I went through hell to come up with the answers for the world. the tears the whole world cried, not just america, i cried with them. the impact i felt was every bit as devastating, as if i lost someone dear  to me in that tragedy. like losing my dad all over again. thats the best way i can describe how 911 affected me. i was Constantly asking for help. That never came. I did my job alone because my dad told me I was a man. For my dad to say that to me, it meant more than the world.I did what I had to. Selflessly sacrificing everything I had. My toes were at the lonliest of lines. How do you tell the world you can prove god allowed those poor little girls to witness what they did on those planes that morning. Solace only comes in the times those planes hit. The times were more important. Significantly. They were sent at those times in effect, to end it for good. That morning fell on deaf ears, and still does. There is no one else capable of stopping it. Only me. No one else can possibly know what I know. Or theyd be here in my place. The vicars are too busy looking fer old JC. Blinkered by religion. Each religion is like a long tunnel going up, with a light at the end. The religions focus becomes the walls, not the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s the same light at the end of each. My dad stood beneath that light age 5 years old. He saw that tunnel light from below, then he climbed his way up to it. A boy king if ever there was one. He stood a hundred foot taller than other men from that young age. To feel the pride an akiens steeplejack feels, can only be imagined. To walk among men on the ground, humbly knowing deep inside you have something other men don’t have. We fear nothing on, above or under this world. In my line, we`re all the same. A few others in my generation have it as well. They kind of half know it. The ones that know that is. The doubters still have a climb to make. Do they have what granddad had…?  Donna asked me. I said yes but she didn’t ask what it was either of us had/have. Maybe this will answer donna. All the family. All through my supposed mental breakdowns, only 4 came to see me. When corrinne had a stroke, all of us went to see her. Mark sent a card, bein busy with a young family. When granddad was put into care, I know how he felt no one coming to see him. I felt like I was best off forgotten. The mad kid finally showed himself for what he really is. Evil. If this is evil, send me to hell.

I thought about what I would have done if I were in one of those towers above where they were hit, this is the best I came up with. I wasn’t in that situation, so I was never tested that way. Great Uncle Jesse was. If I knew I had no way down, instinct would have took over. It always has when its been needed. Id have ripped a monitor from a computer, and threw it thru the window. Id walk 20 or so yards, an id say my payers. pray for forgiveness for what I am about to do. Those terrorists who orchestrated that whole vile act, they would have seen something very very unholy. But it would’ve cured the bastards. Id come out that window like a bullet, to spread my arms out wide as I came down. Id say my piece to them on the way down. 

Im goin for those bastards that thought theyd just got away. This world punishes their families behind them. That’s how it works. Once theyre on the other side, theyre in hell, watchin all the crap they bought on their families unfold. Through their eyes. Those that took jesus last time, they’ve been watchin from hell ever since. That kind of sacrifice, god doesn’t want in this world. Your soul reaches that place you don’t want it to ever be. You have reason enough to stop all the senseless killings with proof of this. how can these monsters say they act in the name of allah, or god, when they dont even behave like humans. 

The voice they hear, it’s the devil goin off to wait by the door. Bloodcurdling doesn’t come close. Paralysing. That’s the voice, of an akiens proper. the words, theyre all akiens as well. we froze when we heard these words from the akiens before us. I take all the evil in this world with me, by absorbing it all on the way out. As my family intended me to do.  When you come down that way, with pure belief, ready to meet your maker, you swoop. id have took the bastards victory away from them before they got a chance to celebrate.

they dont speak for islam, i know from experience. the muslims i met, treated me with more respect than my own faith.  

 The life dad gave us as kids was full of laughs. he was like living with lee evans. he made sure we all grew up with wicked sense of humours. he knew that would get us through anything. he knew it is the best medicine. he always said that. he was the bravest man i ever met as well. the things i saw him do with my own eyes, how could i not be proud. to see him cut down to nothing through bone cancer, was unbearable to watch. the six months it took him to die, were very painful for dad.from the time we knew his condition was terminal, i spent an hour a day with him til the day he died. he called all 4 of us his kids in one by one to tell us something. what he said to the others i dont know. when it was my turn i went in. he told me he loved our lee because he was his first born, and he gave him that first pride. he said he loved our mark, because he made him laugh so much. he loved sis because she was his only daughter. then he told me why he loved me. he said i was the strong one, who would have to be strong. he saw in me a loyalty that would keep me going, and give me the strength i needed. i would be the one who stayed strong for all the family, after his passing. he told me he knew i would be there right to the bitter end for him. he knew i would be. the tears were running down my face as i told him i would be. as i took hold of his hand on september 4th 1996, the saddest 11 minutes in history followed. i stood by his right hand side, and i kept telling him how much i loved him, and that i would never forget the things he told me. the tears flowed the whole time. i never blinked. i didnt want to miss a second of that time.as his breathing slowed we could tell he was drawing near. as he stopped breathing, my mam leaned over to close his eyes.i told her not to too late.i could still feel the pulse through his thumb. he was facing me. i told him again i loved him, he opened his eyes and squeezed my hand, then he was gone. as though he was thanking me for being there til the very end. like he was saying 

" i told you you would be chip "

the wonder of you by elvis is the song that reminds me of that time

how do you think it made me feel, 5 years and one week later, the times of that morning were echoed out on the world stage. this world felt the same devastating impact my family felt the morning dad died. on my big brothers birthday. i took hold of his hand at 8.52, and he passed into his next life at 9.03. i wrote those times in my diary, back in 1996. just after 9.15, i made 2 phone calls. the times matched the other 2 planes. the reason 911 happened, was because it was meant to show me how to put a stop to all that bullshit for good.  

  it cheeses me off that ellis is being re-developed before my year has had a class re union. my year left in 1986 . it would be wicked to see em all again.

For all the help the vicars have bin,they may as well have Crucified me and be done with it.maybe it was bcos I told them I dreamt of Osama Bin Laden before 911.Jesus today has been christened by the church of England who else should I tell Im him an Im back?The church of England representative in my parish?? He just doesnt want to believe this books prophecies. He sends the police to my home,bcos he hasnt the balls to call.the trinity above us all. dad granddad, and grandma. the son, the father, and the holy spirit. They knew and never told me. like dad, granddad, great granddad, and great great granddad, i managed to get the job done wi no help at all. from the so called men of god inside the church. those people paid to look out for me. from the minute i said i have twins born on my birthday, that should have been enough. that book they dont really read, tells them they must do all they can to keep the trinity together. ive missed the other 2 thirds as much as theyve missed me. their pain is mirrored with mine. i feel everything they do. the last 2 years neednt have been spent apart. they could have done their duty to god in helping bring us all back together. their mother , a jordan, is telling them im jacobs. when in fact im jesus today. if the stupid cow could only realise ive wrote the funniest book ever written an it makes her a billionaire in effect. then maybe she`ll be happy to let me see the kids i love so very much. when my troubles with jordan are behind us, i can put the whole country of Jordans troubles behind them. i remember the look of discomfort when i told farter jimmy of st pats, that i had a dream of osama bin laden before 911. has he kept that secret from the muslim community of my home. Bel- Grave. if he has, then he worships christianity before god. religion doesnt work, because of several factors. the best way for me to put it, (and please bear in mind, i wrote this without a single qualification to my name, only my drivin license.) for the man in the street to understand, would be to put it like this. imagine a long tunnel, with a light at the end. the light is obviously god, the walls of the tunnel, are the different faiths. the lights at the end are all the same light. the walls of the tunnel become the focus. my dad stood at the bottoms of those tunnels many times. from 5 years old. and he climbed his way up to god for his god. his dad to him. like my dad to me. my chimney doesnt look anything like those behind me took on. granddad climbed 750 foot radio masts to paint. he camouflaged the power stations during the war. is it that hard to believe, the biggest climb of them all, is a tiny round disk, i burn on my pc. that disk neo flogs at the beginning of the matrix, well im neos little bro in that film. and ive got the disk ready. the one that dissolves all notions of that world ever becoming a reality. it will never happen on gods earth. this jewel in his universe. his existence. neo takes a bundle of green for his disk. i dont want money, but ill take a bundle of green off ya, gladly. it helps me see into the past. when you take it back right, it takes you right back. that area of the mind stil unused, i can show you how to open it up, by telling you what its purpose is for. your subconscious and your imagination. cannabis helps unlock it all safely. like a parachute of the mind. a soup ladel of the memory.write an auto biography, then write it again on gange. the level of intelligence it has opened up for me, is teachable to every one. when youve been shown how to wear them properly. apparently, scientists can now tell us using dna, when we are going to die. thats very very scarey stuff. i can tell you that usin a pen and paper. hard to believe aint it. go back to the family tree, stick the dates in a one year diary, and see where the hotspots lie. then after a while, you will be able to spot where we are reborn back into our family. no scientist or dna will ever be able to tell you when you are reborn. how can you study something that hasnt been born yet.? when you see the regularity of the dates, only an idiot would call it coincidence. it takes a kid from the street to sort out the streets. because hes lived in em. that world jimmy lives in, its life jim, but not as you know it.   this picture on the end, the vicar wasnt here. the ako`s and god were !!!

the paddies i met when i went ireland, werent note like fRTER jimmy.  this man of god gives the irish a bad name. i loved my time there when i went with my bro and his birds family. the second time i went on my own. my younger bro had a shotgun loaded and pointed in his face. some lad thought he had the hots for his bird. the 2 were going out with sisters. this lads big bro was something in the ira byall accounts. i can only go on rumours. i dont neccessarily listen to em. i like o make my own mind up about something. i wanted to see if he`d try the same trick wi me wi that shotgun. he didnt at all. far from it in fact. i had a lovely cup of tea when i went round their house. they made me feel like family. very generous hospitality. as for the ira, like any country, it has its idiots. no need at all for that kind of stuff. not anymore.  mark didnt tell me about that til we were on the ferry back. the second time was at christmas. when all the paddies come home from around the world. an amazing place to be. i think myself incredibly lucky, to have visited the place twice. carrick on suir, county tipperary. and yes, it fcukin was far !!  i took 3 irish joke books with me. they went down a storm. for all the books i took, i heard ten times that. 

only Jesus himself can have gods permission to sign a bible like this,the  holiest of christianities books. To give to islam.The day those 2 vicars started preachin false prophecies from their holy book,was the day I got permission.They began preachin false prophecies from their own book,when they continued telling their congregations, that jesus will return.The reason they became false prophets, is because they know im back. several statements in the bible, which are all there for a reason, have been ignored in my case. Firstly, rule  

 number 1,is never ever test the son of god.Ignoring me is testing me.if they are true men of god, they fear nothing on earth. They should be fearless enough to fix their own roofs, let alone make the short walk to my door. My crucifixtion today, is seeing all the suffering in this world, that I know I can end.if only my help would arrive. I feel like im carrying a cross on my back everywhere I go.  

Number 2,god works in mysterious ways.All the literature theyve been sent so far,has all the proof they could ever hope for.ive lifted the lid on the mysterious ways in which he works. Them letting me die their secret, will never earn them a place at gods table in heaven. if I am the one who unites all faiths, then surely I can dispense with a book they aren’t really reading. mine will work.

Number 3   and god created man in his own image. Hence me and beckham looking so alike.the two halves of jesus christs soul. Why they are not bringing us together is a mystery. That’s all that’s needed. add my fcukin side to the bookshelfs alongside his side, and the bible is off the number one spot in the book charts. Ours combined make up the first chapter of the next testament. They deny this world, because they are ashamed. Theyre ok with letting the crimes we see in the news everyday, carry on. They must be, or theyd have told islam about me. you think theyd at least tell someone.

 Just send Beckham fer FCuks sake  !!!  

one thing that pissed me off about that spineless little she-ite farter phillip up st lukes. when the coppers came, wpc anne smith said it was "upsetting for his children"...??  does he share my letters with them...? anne told me she read my letter and while some of it made sense, some of it was "from my own little world" between the two of em they should be able to suss it out. as for fat twat farter phil, im thinkin of all the kids all over the world. him gettin me sectioned has only cause a load more needless suffering for millions of kids. his ignorance surely gets him the sack for this. his job is to look out for jesus. because i dont know jackshit about the bible, i dont wear sandals, and im not spoutin hallelooyah all the time, maybe thats why they refuse to believe its me. jesus in 2004. 

How can I re assure islam I speak equally for Muhammad as I do jesus. ? in a number of ways.I dont know a anything about him,only that he was a prophet like jesus. I don’t know when he lived or where. What I know about jesus, was what I learnt at school.How can I re assure Christians I speak for jesus, without his miracles or even reading the bible.Im a prophet of a different kind.My miracles are behind me and, godwilling ahead of me also.Im the prophet who unites both faiths.All faiths.This book of mine is the miracle you have waited for.as god sends me, allah sent you to welcome me. I feel a need to know as much about Muhammad as I do jesus.I dont say this out of ignorance or disrespect for islam, I say it out of honesty.What I believe.what i know.for a man to proclaim himself king of kings,he must have a kings wisdom.A wisdom he must earn himself.I have that wisdom.That level of intelligence needed to get this world running as both god and allah would have it run.The one true king of kings needs a kingdom. That place is Bel-Grave. Where I was born. 2 5 12 – Grave. Jesus Christ was born on Christmas day 2000years ago. when I had twins born on my birthday, I re-united the trinity in the here and now. I am the head of that trinity.I only realised a few years ago.Quite why the church refuses to accept me, their ignorance sickens me. it sickens god through me. he sees through my eyes. all of these claims I have already proved in the book I have written.when the one true prophet returns,he brings with him the next bible. the website is just the tip of the iceberg.Its enough to stop the bush admin steam rolling all over the world.everyone needs to be doing all they can to tell every one about the site.The more people to email it to the whitehouse the better. my cousin Kim Bhatia,he was the first asian akiens in our family.He was very tragically killed on his daughters birthday.He broke his neck and died instantly, in a motorbike accident.My older brother,he broke his neck and died as well. he got back up 2 minutes 40 seconds later.His birthday is September 11^th.I believe, that when jesus was reborn, Muhammad picked him up. I believe the same can be said for my cousin Kim.When I was 4,I Really was a bad kid.the very worst. Always fighting and thieving.My whole family turned their backs on me.except my aunt.The one who married an asian man.this family took me on holiday.My aunt could see I was like my cousin when he was my age.They took me on holi day.On that holiday,my uncle nev, born december 25th, showed me a fish in a stream.It had patches of different colours up and down its sides, like a globe stretched out on a map. He showed me a world where different colours live beautifully together. its for all these reasons, I want to come home. to tell my story and to learn from you. just coming home to Bel-Grave, and to be treated with respect,would be like that holiday all over again. the vicars have had 2 years to knock my door.Now that door is closed to them.All they can do is call the police.I turn to islam now. ive been kicked enough this side of the river.My name,is scott paul akiens.SP Akiens.i have a hidden middle name.im proud to have it there. I think of Kim. I make complete sens of everything around me.im probably the proudest English man on the planet, at the same time, Im the least racist person. My story will end all racism and end the persecution of islam. I can only do it with your help. Tell islam, then leave the rest to me. I need islam to tell Beckham. URGENTLY. the website is enough to prove, we are the 2 Real half souls of Christ.we must meet.

And how did christianity help the trinity stay together...??

that lady mp who sat on that email for months, i have one of them as well. patricia hewitt. i gave her a copy of my book 6 months ago. i told her to give it to Tony. detailing how i can sort out all the crap. i guess she must have sat on it or Tony has. this was long before even the Ken Bigley situation. patsy couldve saved him.

my social worker an my psychiatrist, will be the first to tell you, my behaviour has remained unchanged throughout the time theyve known me. my time in glenfield was needless but very eye opening. i sent farter phil a letter apologizing for the letters id sent him before. i was saying sorry. at the police station, dr hayden came to see if i was fit to be interviewed. after 15 minutes he was happy i could be. then he started askin me about my kids. i hadnt seen them for over a year then. i got a bit upset. i cried. if you love your kids like me its only to be expected. i miss em. i could do with their mum seein sense and agreein to let them see me. if i could give them the world i would. if i could give them the world, surely i could give their mum a country.I don’t want to give them the world, only the freedom to go anywhere on it. is there one with her name on...? when my troubles with Jordan come to an end, Jordans troubles come to an end.dr hayden sectioned me on a snap judgement in my opinion. he wasnt much help to me at all. his methods were hopefully, unique. he liked to ridicule you in his questions. his arrogance was too much the day a fellow patient had enough. this lad was fed up of not having the right to fresh air, and getting injected needlessly to be kept quite. he managed to persuade one of the staff to let him have a breathe of fresh air in the garden. next thing you know, all hell break loose. people runnin everywhere. he mad a rooftop protest. not what id call a good way to get their attention. he refused to come down, until he had assurance he wouldnt get injected or carted of to belvoir ward. dr hayden was this blokes patient as well. he stood taking to his patient for a whole 5 minutes. as he walked off on his dinner hour, he was heard sayin to the poor bloke, "jump then if youre goin to".  he came down a while later. surely this reverse psychology isnt standard practise in these times. he just rubbed people up the wrong way. now hes left the job, quite a few people both sides of the fence are glad hes gone. he wasnt popular with loads of people. he said some nasty things about my mam to try to get a reaction. if thats the kind of therapy he has to offer, he can shove it up his harris. 

how can i not give a mate a mention, who helped me put this website together. if it werent for him you wouldnt be readin this now. if i make millions out this book online, id buy em all an alienware pc. at the very least, i can plug his website. THE Halo 2 crew. an online x box game.  www.assassinsx.com  a good bloke just 2 days older than me.  the thing i love about the assassinsx clan, theyre Brits. apparently the yanks get the arse when they get whipped. an alias my mate uses,  is  skunkin123   the net is the perfect teachin medium, if you can get all the twats and the perverts offline. its even more perfect if everythings made free. everywhere you go you need a credit card. thats a key to anywhere online. mines a visa electron. you cant hardly buy fcuk all with that. im not fit for an overdraft at the bank now im unemployed. im getting more than when i was workin at kingsway. when i asked one of the staff at my branch for an overdraft, he said no. his bank is the one that usually likes to say yes. not this time. he was grinning tho as he told me no. he looked like he enjoyed tellin me no. an indian man, who i suspect has his own racist issues to deal with. how the hell do we make everything free online..?  without wars, secrets, and mistrust, we can afford it ten times over. all those negative aspects todays society needs, become positive ones. its possible. can you see the big man upstairs bein chuffed that money has more value in this world that this world itself...?  his ideal world, has everyone workin for each other, not money. a world full of part time volunteers, and a little time, is all thats needed to bring about these changes. the stuff ive seen on the assassinsx website, they are very qualified to help jazz mine up. hopefully these lads will give me a plug as well. the only war games, should be paint ball ones. the different maps from halo 2 could be rebuilt and played on live live. id be much more up for that than playin it on the telly. im sure some of those lads would as well. theres a few birds as well.    

I speak equally for Muhammad, Jesus, and for Women.

im all georges dream come true as well, i wish someone would tell him about me. 

his handshake is needed as well as osamas. then they shake hands. 

Im the Pprophet / Rapper, who has it all Rapped up.

 Ready for everyone !

me n my kids need reunitin  

i had a dream of Oussama Bin Laden before the 911 atrocities. he was sitting cross legged, stranded on a mountain ledge. grinning defiantly as bombs rained down all around him. that was when i started dreaming about dad. he was telling me things in my dreams. he still does. when i saw osama in the news that day, i got a very real de ja vu. because of the times of those planes crashes, dad was showin me he was allowing it to happen. so that it ends them forever. why the fcuk no ones tellin anyone, is a mystery to me. an why beckham aint been told, thats the worst crime against god. we are the 2 half souls of christ. god intended we meet back up, after 2000 years of getting things very wrong. for not listening to jesus. 2000 years of lessons to be learnt. how long will it be next time, before a prophet turns up. .?  i know its more than 2000 years. i know exactly when. if i dont make that handshake, i wake up behind everyone who kept me a secret. if you know my name, i can find you in your dreams. i know because my dad can. your days become living nightmares. everyone who ever called me insane or mad, thats exactly where theyre goin. however good i can bring it in this world, i can bring the very worst opposite from the next. as i know the way to that next world in this life, i know the way back. jesus never dies. his soul passes from person to person. i know things i shouldnt know until the next life. id sooner be tellin you from this side of the gate tho. my dad took laughter up with him when he went, in the manner in which he met his fate. his maker. laughin out loud. he took his name with him. im the one they called evil. i dont want to go up unheard ignored and abgry. which i most certainly will if i dont see my kids happy. the last 2 years have been hell not seein them. its every bit as bad for them too. i miss my kids and i want to see them happy. re unite the trinity. thats pretty important in the bible. i told them i head the trinity. i gave em proof. dont they believe in the trinity either...?  christianity has been the biggest cross ive had to bear. cos of their blessed book, one ive only flicked through. ive proved jesus performed all his miracles, because i performed them in this lifetime. all be it in a 21st century fill the world with joy type way. the last 2 years could have been spent buildin the heavens here on earth, under my supervision. as it is, weve had to watch america bomb fcuk out of iraq, needlessly. 

How exactly did they test me tho ? Father jimmy came first back in oct 2002.i visited him at home to tell him I had all the answers to all worlds problems. after a few minutes, he was lookin very nervously at the clock, and made an excuse I had to leave because of a prior appointment he had with someone. i visited again a few days later. This time I was pretty much asked to leave. the 3^rd time I went over, he was in the middle of a service. As he spoke the words, “until Jesus walks this earth as a man once more”Sid went trottin in to say hello to everyone. The place fell deadly silent. I was stood outside in the doorway, as the whispers started slowly getting louder.All the old irish ladies came flooding out with smiles wider than any ive ever seen before.Father jimmy came outside and stood behind them. He told I mustn’t bring the Dog into his church again. an elderly lady in a red coat approached us and told the vicar it was over 400 years ago, when a dog was taken into a church the last time. I never knew that. he told her to shush.Then,a rather large gentleman suddenly appeared beside jimmy,I could have swore he was his minder.I never knew that either,that these fearless men of god needed bouncers.Jimmy disappeared inside for a moment, only to come out with a great big grin on his face too.I half expected him to just say, “ok, so youre jesus today.weve just found out you have twins born on your birthday and we know you head the trinity in the here and now.” but no, jimmy had a cunning plan to uncover a fiendish imposter.“Jesus fishin” as I like to call it. as we were stood there,the old ladies stroking Sid,a young lad came hobbling out of the church.I couldn’t say what was wrong with him.some severe learning disability would be the best I can come up with. As he limped past me, with his face contorted from his illness,I had one eye on him, and one on jimmy. Jimmy was grinning just as wide as the kids was. I couldn’t believe my eyes, as jimmy grinned wider, when the lad kept limping past me. I was disgusted at that. I was glad to see the lad kept grinning to be honest.jimmy didn’t want it to be me. or more to the point,he doesnt want to be the one vicar.why should he throw these tests at me,if he has no intention of wanting it to be me.hes very clearly,not the vicar with belief enough to help me.father phillip,i approached only a few wks later.Telling him I was jesus also.His belief had him froze to the spot.He could nt move.Fear gripped him so much,his wife or housekeeper shut the door in my face. I had just offered him a statue of mary and baby jesus on a cross. Had he wanted it to be me,he wouldve took it and asked me in.I sent him a letter or 2 explaining quite bluntly, my disappointment in him. at the time I felt annoyed that he was happy to ignore me,with all the mindless acts of cruelty could all have ended then.I told him in a letter he shouldn’t be in the job.a dozen coppers came to arrest me for it.he got me sectioned.When there really was no need at all.a couple of years before, I was driving up the hill takin my kids home.as we approached st lukes,Lauren asked me a very unusual question. “dad, was jesus really put on the cross up here ?” straight away I said yes, just joking. Ive never read a bible, I never took it for real. That was just one prophecy that came true. Only yesterday he sent them again.13/11/04. 

the muslims didnt send them !!  

Watching telly today, I saw a young African girl on the news. She was raped when she was 11, and was infected with the aids virus. this is the REAL world. An alien one to 2 vicars i know. When she said we are all equal in gods eyes, she was dead right. why the fuck aint more being done to help these kids. the long term mental damage that’s being caused to this nations children, only I can resolve their troubles. How can money dictate who lives and who doesn’t.

i even gave a number of copies to the epworth methodist church, on blackbird road over the last few months. this church is very important to our story. its the house of god dad built himself. the house that jack built. this church never bothered helpin me either. they ignored me along with the rest of christianity. they also told the police. wpc anne smith told me. she said she read some of what id sent them, and that some of it made perfect sense but some was "from my own little world" the bits she didnt get, the vicar should. the bits he doesnt, she should. if they got their heads together, theyd see that. if anne read a full copy of what i gave them, im sure she`d feel like arrestin them, for neglecting their duty. if theyre the men of god, who should they fear logically..?  no one.  the worst job a copper can have, must be telling a parent bad news about their child. my fcukin side sees an end to those kinds of visits. and it sees the cops joinin those in the kop.  

Im sure come judgement day when they are stood before god,and he asks these two men of god,how they helped a person claiming to have a 2000year memory ? a person who claims to know the path jesus Christs soul took through history ? a person so pure, he was blessed with having twins born on his birthday ? who claimed to head the trinity,verifying everything in the bible ? a person who claims he can unite all faiths in this world ? how will they answer god, when they did nothing but send the police to my dads front door. While they were waiting for me to slip by this world their shameful secret.every muslim must want an answer.Im coming home to go home to my dad. from belgrave I can go off as he intended.Laughin out loud all the way.like dad did. I take with me all the bush admins power.The world I leave behind, is the world we all leave behind. From the time of publication, we all wake up in heaven, if we play our part in building that heaven, for our kids. and their kids, right up to the point where we are reborn into our families again. we wake up in our children. If you’ve seen finding nemo, the scene where the 2 fish are following the light. Then out of the pitch black a monstrous looking fish slow appears. Think of who jesus went off to become in the next world. now think of me, the vicars, that monstrous looking fish, and how fast did those 2 fish have to move to save themselves. Now think how much help to them their bible will be. mine is the one written by just one man, on behalf of all men. but no matter how many times I give them copies, theyre never good enough. Throughout our proud steeplejacking history, spanning four generations and over 101 years climbing for god, vicars have always looked down on us, wrongly. Our work has always been way above their heads.The service we performed was above the church. We have always been the ones with the self belief, to keep going. In whatever direction we were given.Mine on the ground is findin the forgiveness,for every thing this world has put US thru.My finish line, is publication of my fcukin side

It fills this world with joy. or, LOL, in 2004. My dads name. Fantasy Football and Girl Power will work, after ive told you all how they work perfectly, side by side. Muhammad spoke to islam, jesus spoke to christians. I speak for both, equally. As I do for women also. Equality across the board.  if the mountain wont come here to belgrave, how does it sound that islam takes me to the mountain. All the black cabs you can get. By the time we reach beckham, there’ll be thousands and thousands of muslims escorting me to beckhams house in sawbridgeworth. If he aint there, we`re goin through the channel tunnel. My guess is, he`ll be there by then. We wont need to worry about customs by the time we get there. you can pick me up whenever youre ready.or you can see if the England captain really has got the balls to call.I don’t mind which way it goes. The important thing, is that im not kept a secret any longer. Help me help your folks back home. I can sort out all their troubles from here too.All u need for now,is lots of footballs and lots of video cameras. If you throw me a football, I wont be able to help myself but show off what I have to show the England captain. I need to practise as well. that’s the messiah this messiah brings. When ive shown you how we resolve the climate change problem that will never go away without me,ill show u how we reshape this earth,so it doesn’t slow down spinnin quite so fast.I really have got the answers to every problem. The answers to the questions I dont yet know, theyre goin to blow my mind just as much as it will urs when I tell you the answers. Cannabis is like a mental parachute. Im going to need it. youre going to need every single think tank workin overtime,just to keep up with me. Imagine how fast my heart was beating,the moment I knew I was the one to change the world forever. Like they say in matrix,what a mind job. only the one true king can get up from that shock. Alone.I felt shocks like Real electricity run through me to the very ends of my fingertips.When you read why, you`ll understand perfectly. Like I said before, if god is with bush, im with allah. God isnt wi bush, its my Dad ,  LOL

One story I remember dad tellin me, was when he was 14. he was stood outside a shop in belgrave. There were a couple of birds there, and some 18 year old lad with a football. he was kicking the ball at the shop wall. He tried to make himself look good at my dads expense. A skinny ragged arsed kid with glasses. Dad gave him enough rope, until he threw the ball at dad. there were wooden posts a few feet from the shop front, holding up the section of roof above the windows. Dad caught him with such a devastating punch, he thought he`d knocked him through one of the posts. He never had much time for footballers.

Kingsway cane furniture, My taxi badge, My inspiration, & a clue ?

I worked here for 15 years as their rapper,butcherin my hands.they took the piss. All them years rappin seat crosses for people to sit on. A very specialist sort of carpentry. We came down off the chimneys to work in these shitholes.The lads were what kept me there.Topps wer a much better employer.They gave me a nice motor to ride round in pickin birds up. they even paid me for it. which was nice of em  !  I picked a few arseholes up as well.those twats,you couldn’t pay me enough to do that job. the laughs I had taxiin, you just wont believe some of em. I delivered thousands in my cab after Kavos.Before that I fed thousands deliverin 

pizzas.It paid 

for MY greek encounter !! a cousin of mine asked me at my granddads funeral if I “had what he had” instantly I said yes. I didn’t know what it was granddad had then.  I just know I have it. I can tell that cousin exactly what it is granddad had. a will to never give up in the direction he was given. His direction was up.  I had a blackeye at the funeral. If that doesn’t spot the black sheep of the family, I dunno what does. We put 4 generations through hell on those church steeples and chimneys. My chimney was the biggest climb of em all. Over everythin down on the ground.All my cousins,uncles an aunts, all start climbin their chimneys after they’ve read my book. then we see who else in the family had what granddad had.he climbed with a hand that only had his victory fingers on it. the absolute worst handicap a steeplejack could have. It never stopped him goin in his direction.Just like I can never stop in the direction my dad chose for me.when he asked me to write the story of our family in his absence. I made him a promise. When an akiens makes a promise, he keeps it. granddad climbed for all of us under him. it’s the least we can do to honour his memory, to walk out on stage and tell the world the amazing stories he used to tell us. Im ready to make him really proud.  

 Sid Akiens  2004  the dream come true.   

Granddad knew shitloads of stuff he could never tell anyone. I have no doubt in my mind whatsoever,if granddad had 2 full hands an a pc,youd have his version of this. he kept secrets from all of us. He knew one of us would figure it out one day. after he`d gone. Did he know it was me…? I can prove he knew I was the one. before I had the twins, he knew it was me.So did my dad. from the second I told granddad I was a rapper at kingsway, he kept a very close eye on things at my work. he wanted to know about what it was to be a Rapper. He even came to see me at work. why did he list his profession as a plumbers lorry driver, on my dads birth certificate way back in 1942.?he drove all round the coast with a secret cargo, on a bowl of scots porridge oats.To keep him glowin all the way round. (his little joke) why tho ? Durin the war, granddad worked on the power stations camouflagin em. prime targets for the jerries. he also worked on the churches, which gave him a bonus. he was allowed unlimited petrol rations by the church. i remember that conversation with him as a kid. "did you do many miles then durin the war granddad..?"  "ooh loads scott, i went all over the place on business." "did you get thru much petrol then granddad..?"  " ooh loads scott, i sold the bastard," he`d chuckle.  "it gave me godspeed" he used to joke. when the akiens steeplejacks converted from horse drawn carts to motorised transport, granddad loved it. he used to go scramblin on a flatbed lorry, with a wrench on the steerin wheel nut. this was before his accident. he`d be about 12 at a guess. dick at kingsway used to tell us about his achievements. if you think im full of bullshit, wait til you gerra load of this bull. he played darts in a team, and had a nine darts finish. some professional pool player came to take him on, he seven balled him from the break. he also said he was leicesters first joy rider. i dont think so. dick is one of the very few people i know, who doesnt need a nickname. he`d be the first to laugh at that. hes a good lad really. just not the luckiest or brightest bloke around. Our granddad never backed down to anyone or anything. the day lightenin, twice struck the base of a chimney he an dad were working on, kind of tells you he didn’t back down to anything.  even God. This dog tag was engraved by granddad with his hand. King. He spelt our name wrong on the other side. theres no way on this earth,our granddad would spell it wrong purposely.I wear that tag round my neck today. the vicars have pretty much treated me like a dog. Fcuk em !!

a rap, a cane man I knocked up, a rappers web, my last wage after 15 years service, MINUS 5.73  that says it all. my exit from kingsway matched GB`s from man united. brian dansons my alex ferguson. a death trap factory. i loved workin with the lads. being a Rapper it allowed me to be creative with my hands. i loved the job too. as with all gaffers, when the work dried up i became an obselete liability, who knew too much of their dodgy deals. Unbelieveable greed. even their own family got bumped out of their proper redundancy. if theyd offered me that option when my work disappeared over to the far east, id have had this all online a long time ago. they preferred to force me out. they have a lot to be worried about. because they know the truth as well. when they can see i have it all proven already, theyre sitting ducks in the water. its only the truth coming out. only a coward fears the truth. the truth doesnt hurt, ultimately it heals. Safety doesn’t matter, stock pilin does ! yes I am eager, quite a few of the uprights aint even screwed to the floor. One of my workmates could have a serious accident. Hopefully the place gets shut down before then !! 

 id say thats worth gettin sued for. the name the lads gave me was  

the young un.

 no i am, when i get started

my granddad went to prison for this. tax evasion. He did it out of necessity. These do it out of greed. Even jan signed em for us. The gaffers missus. my dad tried to get a job bricklayin. he was a fully qualified master builder. because he broke his kneecap, he had quite some time off. because he hadnt got 3 years work behind him, he couldnt get a 715. i dunno what that was exactly, some bullshit form or another. he was forced to get a job on the side. he couldnt sit at home doing nothing. things were very tight as kids. always hand to mouth. dad did what he had to in my opinion. ive had a few cash jobs. i know for a fact granddad had a few. he was infamous down the tax office in the 60`s. i told steve danno that my dad was workin an claimin. he said, "we pay more tax because of them scumbags"

do you now...?  in 2001, i remember something steve came out with in front of us. givin it the big un as usual. " i looked at my bank statements for the year last night, 128 k went thru my account." 128k, thats broadband innit. when he reads this, hes gonna have somethin passin thru a bit faster than broadband. he knew i was mega skint an could have been rubbin my nose in it. maybe thats me bein paranoid. according to steve, his csa bill is actually, zero pounds and zero pence. hes on a minimum wage and everything he earns is spoken for. how the fcuk do the csa allow this much earnings to be totally untouchable. surely anyone who loves his kids, and hes on that kind of money, can afford a few quid each week. when he had his house valued for the divorce, he talked the bird into undervaluing it. he did something to the foundation of the conservatory as well to bring the value down a bit more. steve could have done that. he fitted loads for different people. all cash i have to add. unless he can prove otherwise. i cant even prove he built one. but i dont have to. im only interested in proving what i know i already have. they suggested suicide to a long serving employee, i worked all the unsociable hours they needed. if this feels like its coming back to haunt them, its because its true. and they know it. my hands bled through my skin without cuts. holdin a even a warm cup was unbearable. my hands were a bigger handicap to me than granddads. the work i took on in 93 helped them achieve the success they enjoy today. john blockley was the same. he left very unexpectedly. all they could do after that was slag him off. his work was the worst frame making theyd ever seen. he had the sense to jump.  i was forced to dive. i wonder if theyre tellin people my work was lousy..?  i know it wasnt. my Rapping was the best kingsway ever had. my designs were shipped out to the far east so the women and children could butcher their hands for less money. i was paid just the standard hourly rate to design the Raps that would be on all their suites coming in for years and years to come. since leavin, not one of them has bothered to get in touch. all those years workin all the hours, i didnt even get a leaving card, until i asked for one. the gaffer had the nerve to put best of luck in his bit. i was more pissed off i never had a leavin do. theyve dirtied my name enough now. just like lisa jordan, like the vicars, and the majority of my neighbours, and so called friends. i was always there for them when they needed me to be. in hindsight, that loyalty has always been one way. your true friends are who those who are with you when the smoke clears. if you can count more than one, youre very luckythe friends i had goin into that smoke, are all gone. the ones that are, you might not like the look of them or the way they live. they live in the real world.  

steve once threatened me. he said he had enough string to really fuck me up. you don’t say that to an akiens, an expect to get away with it scot free. we use rope. Very very long rope. Yours is just about to pull tight. Say sorry, quick !! 2 days before christmas, 2001,the csa took 700 quid off me. that money was goin to give my mam a happy Christmas for a change.2 days after granddad died,I took a big hit.a skull fracture and a blackeye is what I took to his funeral.that was October 17^th 2001.i was off work until I was pretty much bullied into goin back work by wanker steve.early December. I asked the gaffer to with hold the majority of my wages until id cleared it with the csa. I had written confirmation it wouldn’t be backdated when I returned to work. because they have to pay statutory sick pay, they thought I was robbing them. What made it worse, was because I didn’t have this accident on their premises, it didn’t matter. I didn’t matter. With all my Rapping gone out to the women and children in the far east, I wasn’t needed anymore. when the csa took that money,it sent me into a nervous breakdown. It sent me over the edge. I sat at work, and I cried my eyes out. how life could have come to this, from how my life had been. I was broken for a while. the different traumas coming at me, coupled with what was goin on in my head. My respectable employer, a self made man, business man, he put a notion of suicide in my head. Just 2 days before Christmas, he suggested that to a 15yr employee, because he was shit scared of this coming out. I knew too much of their dirty deals. Like steve importing fags in on the containers. Hes stopped now, but ill bet theres a dozen people willing to tell the truth. For about 2 years, every container that came in, steve had either three or four boxes with 50 cartons in each. Sometimes thered be 8-12 a month.  How much does that work out to.? lets see, average 7 containers a month with three boxes of 50 cartons in each for 2 years..   7 *  3 *  50 *  24   =   25,200  cartons. That cant be right surely. No ones that greedy. This chunt is, believe it. between cun*o steve and the gaffer, they’ve kicked me repeatedly while I was down. they’ve blackened my name, and that just isn’t on. Now its my turn to wear the kickin boots. The gaffers psychology of the big firms always win, they do till they come across an akiens. they said some very evil things, so I started taping them.You can hear those times with your own ears.Id sooner be writin about the good times at kingsway than the bad.until they give me an apology for my treatment,and a leavin do,I don’t feel like it. they can see this for whatever they want to see it as.Blackmail, nah, thats illegal. Their first reaction will be pure panic, “shit, hes blackmain us,he wants our money.we cant give in,its ours”money they cheatd the taxman out of.Im not interested in money. not even the redundancy they should have offered me as my job slowly shipped overseas to the far east. That redundancy, would have seen this book of mine finished a long time ago. it’s a bit late for that now innit. Ive finished it without their money.im interested in giving my family the good name back, that kgsway helped take away from me.Maybe they’ll try to sue me for publishin this chapter the way I have.If it hurts its only the truth coming out. sue me after its published kingsway, ill be worth a bit more then. also, ill prove everything ive wrote in a court of law if you want to take that road. you really did bite off more than you can chew when you said that . If it comes back to haunt you, its only your own words youre hearin. I didn’t tell you to say them. Il say sorry if you will !!!  mr steve danson used to tell me of his exploits in belgrave. him an his mates used to go paki bashin. he told me a few times. he laughed out loud. will he laugh out loud when our stephen stands in front of him. i doubt it. our stephens got all the rage granddad had. just a diffrent shape like me. its just as cryin shame mr steve didnt pull up alongside our Kim. he would have been cured

Theres a great way to con the csa. Stick say hundred quid of your wage before stoppages onto one of your workmates wages. He gives you 66 quid, and the csa cant touch it. its all good if your gaffers ok with it. we were, he suggested it. i think. i cant remember. would that matter in court...?   I was valuable to them at that time. its provable by checkin employers wages over the years. a sudden increase with no extra hours.

Dave below,  what a joker he is  

same  to  you  sap !!   spa   (don’t do it mr steve)  

i butchered my hands for these people for 16 years.  my hands were more of a disability to me than granddads. a Rappers hands go through hell. if they do the job proper.

 the false floors collapse due to the heavy weights of the stock. Even the space above our heads is used. Dirty beckhams wage, when he got took off. a stack of footstools fell on me from about 14ft. 119 parker drive used to be a meat processing plant. No change there then !!              

when you hear how i won the kings bet at kingsway,  youre gonna laugh out loud !!

the gaffer called me his utility man. that’s a Jack of all trades, innit  ??

Since my “departure”from their employment almost 2yrs ago, my fcukin side became my new job. i went back to workin for my family.  ive also spent the time polishin up my freekick. its wicked

IN THIS PHOTO BELOW, TAKEN IN A BAR IN KAVOS BACK IN 1999, LOOK WHOS ON THE END.  THATS MR STEVE DANNO AIN IT..? BUT HE WENT KAVOS THE YEAR BEFORE IN 1998. HE STAYED AT THE SAME DIGS AS WE DID. WHATS THE CHANCES OF THAT HAPPENIN. ITS EITHER MR STEVE, OR ITS HIS TWIN. IT WERENT MR STEVE, SO IT MUST BE HIS TWIN. THAT SAYS IT ALL. HIS TWINS A NOBODY, MINES A SOMEONE. ALL IN ALL, EVEN IF YOUR A SHITE LIKE MR STEVE, YOU STILL HAVE A TWIN SOMEWHERE. I JUST HOPE THIS ONE IN THE PICTURES A BETTER CLASS OF BLOKE THAN THE OTHER. WHEN MR STEVE DANNO WAS IN KAVOS, HE TOLD US SOME BIRDS COMMENTED ON HIS BACK. THEY SAID HE HAD A PERFECT BACK. WHICH JUST GOES TO SHOW, EVEN PERFECT STRANGERS PREFER TO SEE THE BACK OF CUN*O DANNO.  

back in the day, my mate giggsy invited me to one of his birthday parties. quite a few turned up at the hotel belgrave. one of em was a proper bad boy. this lads uncle won the pools and had quite a few bouncers kissin his arse. he wore a 3 piece suit and a long trenchcoat. his hair was slicked back itialian like. clearly he thought he looked the part. mark morrison was his name. earlier in the night i nipped downstairs to the bar. i saw a couple of old mates. bagnall and carter. john bagnall was my first mate ever. the laughs we had back then , funny as fcuk. he would be the first to say that was where it all began. it was. his life story will be every bit as good as mine. every bit as funny. he got himself a full page in the sun once for streaking. we did that years before. we did a streak that got me a bollockin. they gave me a spliff this night in the bar of the hotel. id never touched it before. as we walked home a bit later, a crowd of us were walkin by talbot park . me our mark, his mate, jamie mckenzie, and a couple of this idiots other mates. this twat said we should all go clubbin, and that he could get us in anywhere. our marks mate said he couldnt because he had to be up for work the next day. mark morrison called our marks mate a puff. so, our mark told him to apologize. if he had to be up for work, he should be respected for it basically.  then he called our mark a puff as well. instantly mark wanted it. so did he. i thought it was all hilarious to watch. his mates grabbed him an we grabbed mark. the next thing, they let go of him. he came at our mark while we were holding him. i was stood behind mark holdin him by the right shoulder. everything after that to me is pretty much a blur. i can only go by what i was told after. before he got to our mark, he met me. as my head collided perfectly with the bridge of his nose, his perfectly ironed shirt suddenly became very colourful. as he staggered backwards, his top half lunged towards me. his legs were gone. before he dropped i added insult to injury. to help him on his way down. a spray of colour hit the pavement shortly before he did. i too his breathe away. he deserved it. you dont fcuk with the akiens. not in Bel-Grave. not if you have any sense. the next thing someones picked me up and is walkin me away. i could vaguely hear the idiot askin our mark, " why did your brother do that to me". his reply, " what do you expect. you shouldnt have come at me like that. especiall in front of "him". "

i remember our lee havin a similar conversation with chappo. we were sat there, tokin, and lee came out with it. i dunno what we were talkin about. he just said it. " you dont fuck with our scott. you just dont. hes not normal when he fights."  i aint. i cant help it. its like something else takes over. they called me evil for a very good reason. perfect balanced inside and out. the reason i refuse to fight these days, is because it isnt a fight.  im hoping something worthy shows up. i stopped fightin other kids very young. they were too easy. the instant savagery i showed them, left them paralysed. the face i showed them was enough to leave them like a punch bag. i moved on to more challenging things. round our way on stocko, the apple trees werent up to much. in birstall it was a different matter. pear trees, plum trees, cherry trees, and alsations !!  at 5 years old, my dad was climbing chimneys. at 5 years old, i was rushing police dogs in their own backyard. over the right to eat the fruit. times i sat under the trees while dog sat cowering by the back door. you dont tell an akiens no. lookin back, i cant believe it was me who did all that. i dropped 8 ft into the back garden of a dog that was running at me barking. the dog encountered alien behaviour. the look you saw in beckhams eyes the day he took that penalty, ive got em. they freeze for some reason

i remember bein dow grandma and granddads when i was about 7. theyd moved to beaumanor road by then. i was playin with the magnet granddad kept in the draw along with the "magic"beans. there were all sorts of screws and stuff. paperclips etc. i could tell you the size of each screw now. this day cousin pete was over. a lad a year younger but loads bigger than me. he kept runnin past me, givin me a dig each time. i knew not to have a go back because he was younger. dad was there as well. after the 3rd or 4th time, i remember my dad warnin him. " pete, if you dont pack it in, hell ave ya"   

pete laughed, and did it again. from hearin dad say that, he gave me permission. the next time pete came past, i was rapped round him as he hit the floor. as we landed he was already pinned down. the shock was enough. i didnt need to do anymore. dad was grinnin like a cheshire cat when i looked round at him. he knew it was me. the one with everything perfectly balanced. he was as proud of me as i was him. when you hear the words of morpheus on matrix, tellin neo he was faster, i grew up hearing that. my dad told me always, i could never be beaten in a fair fight. i was way too fast for anyone. and i was. i never dissapointed him. i knew i could wait for you to throw your best. i knew my counter came before your feeble effort. and it demolishes you. as a kid i brawled. i enjoyed it. times we had run ins with the kids off rainsford and abbey rise. cheesy as it sounds, we were called the billington bashers. id say i played a big part in that. i remember the kids who used to live on our street who shit it. older kids. when they came scrumpin, they were always on watch. they never scrapped either. evolution had me perfecting a one hit wonder. my mam couldnt afford to keep replacin my ripped clothes.   

my uncle Terry came to see me a while ago. id spent the night in the cells that morning. his granddad daughter petes little girl was with them. alex. immediately Uncle Terry motioned for me to watch my language. he didnt need to. i told him what i could in front of alex. he said something that stayed with me ever since. and always will. he said  "youre like me. you dont like bein told what to do".  thats what the ako`s are all about. ask us nicely. we aint aliens, are we Uncle Terry.   LOL.

All my family mean more to me than any of em can realise. All of em are special in all kinds of different ways. For example, the best best man I ever saw, was born on a date that’s 1460- 1 of bein born on. Febuary 29^th. That speech would put hugh grant to shame a thousand times over. A sort of cross between billy idol and billy elliot. With size twelve feet. Kipper feet ako as dad used to fondly call him. That best mans speech is on video somewhere. Hes a perfect example of how the ako`s like to jackanory. Its inherent. in all of us. Donna Melbourne especially. It was her who told me there was something very special about granddad. I knew anyway. she verified it to me that I wasn’t alone in thinking that. she`s one of my cousins who`s really goin to enjoy readin what her cousin got up to. and how he made it thru. If donna wasn’t an akiens, she wouldn’t have spotted it that granddad was special. Neither would she have a great big hooter.  She`s lucky, andy got the goofy teef. This book has been written with every single one of them in mind. All those in our past and those still here. through this book I can show them all, and I can show the ones that know me im ok again. ive been pretty much isolated the last couple of years, because I had to be. I had to sacrifice everything in order to finish it. everything I had and everything I have has gone into this. ive worked night and day. because it is the most amazing book ever written, most of it along the way has been misread by people, because they haven’t got the full story. These people could easily be forgiven for thinking im not well mentally. When the akiens read it, they’ll see the difference between madness and genius. The akiens have a superior level of intelligence. from what my granddad told me in life and the clues he left all our family, clearly prove he knew lots of things he either couldn’t or didn’t know how, to tell anyone. the clues he left are all on the different birth certificates for one thing. On my dads he was a plumbers lorry driver. Whatever one of those are. A very strange job description for a man so very very proud to be an akiens steeplejack. stranger still is the accompanying story that goes with it. proof he was up to something, as far back as 1942. if a psychiatrist were to read this next few lines, he`d section me. I know, it happened. If an akiens read it, theyd say, “yeah that’s how he told me that story.” Granddad was driving round the coast in june 1942, non stop. How long for I don’t know. his signature wasn’t added to that certificate until july 3o + days later. He drove a truck non stop all round the coast of England, with a cargo he never saw. He had the key to the back on a chain round his neck. He drove with 2 burly armed guards, who never spoke. He used to joke, “ I had a bowl of scots porridge oats, to keep me glowin all the way round” he`d chuckle. On a few occasions he made a joke I was a bit too young to understand at the time. he said, “it kept them bastard germans out tho, dint it chip” . That joke always stuck in my mind. I could never let go of it. I imagined at the time, these germans must be aliens, out in space and they could see the akiens. and they had England in their sights. The way you see things as a kid eh. the stories granddad told us kept is mesmerized for hours. the worlds best jackanory, to us his grandchildren. When my cousin asked me if I had what he had at granddads funeral, I said yes instantly. They show the family if they have it by adding their chapters. My chimney was writing the book. my finish line is giving it them. Those that still feel unproved, their chimneys are simply believing mine. Im pushin em all in. that’s something im pretty sure granddad intended as well. as a young un granddad swam from belgrave to birstall. From holden street bridge to the white horse. The akiens under granddad could if they wanted, make that swim like he did. david,stephen,daniel,pete,maybe even andy will have the balls for it. id expect a full turn out. maybe even some of the wimmin might be up for it. who knows, we could even have a couple of vicars volunteerin. miracles do happen. Id like that stretch cleaned up first though. Why do we treat the rivers like our sewage dumps. A world without wars accommodates this wastage easily. We don’t need to spew it out into the rivers. They were clean for a very long time before we turned up. we can undo all that. why we aint fillin up the disused mines is a mystery to me. how many fish will it kill down there. mankind has grown very selfish. George bush epitomises that. as head of the most powerful nation on earth, he bends to the quims of business men. politics is very clearly all about money in the west. Them yanks must know something we don’t. maybe they know how to get every american off the planet in time before the meteor hits. Maybe that’s why they don’t give a shit about the environment. Maybe that’s why they flount international law and opinion on the global climate change issues. Maybe they’ve got shitloads of fish recipes sorted in preperation for the sea levels risin. They way theyre goin, we goin to be eatin less beef. Fill out the akiens family tree like you would a Christmas tree. But with stories and photos of each person on it. Online is the most logical way of goin about it. the most easily accessible for everyone to add their side. The simplest way to put it into words, would be to say granddad knew his direction in life was up. he knew he could never back down, or stop going in the direction that was chosen for him. with his hand and the falls and the lightening strikes, he kept on going. Until the business died. The direction that was chosen for me, was the day my dad asked me to write the story of our family. I had no choice in any of it. the story I have is too good not to tell everyone. I was the akiens who looked like beckham. I had the best time of any of us. And the very worst time of any of us. When the family hear just how bad the bad times have been, theyre goin to cry the same tears I cried. To begin with. Dad knew the importance of it. the impact it would have on every one. He wanted our kids to know all about our history. but more importantly, he wanted it funny. I think ive done him proud. My thoughts on granddads story today, id say them 2 guards never spoke, because of this creature at the wheel. Hurtling down dusty tracks with only 2 fingers holding the wheel. With a fag in his mouth probbly. My guess is they were scared shitless, and the secret cargo they wanted keeping safe from the germans, id say it was granddad himself. If they didn’t have a fear of speed when they got in, they very probably did when they got out. I felt like kissin the tarmac outside my aunts house. I went on a long journey with granddad once. trust me, its eventful. Very eventful. He seemed to have his own highway code. Our mark went Hereford with him once. granddads motor was a bright yellow Austin allegro estate. Hed say to me every time he took me and pete vets,”you cant even hear that engine can ya scott”. “ no granddad, “ id say. What id be thinking was, no I cant hear the fcukin engine granddad, cos of the noise the rest of the cars makin. It was his pride and joy bless him. it was the car he and grandma bought together. that made it special. Some bloke tried to overtake granddad in a cortina the time when mark rode shotgun. Granddad weaved across the road stopping the bloke from overtakin him. “the bastard aint gerrin past us mark” he joked. It made mark piss himself. When I went on that same trip wi granddad, I got a much more detailed account of it. I kept diaries back then. we were on our way to stirling lines for a family do. Dad went with uncle jeff and sis. Dad insisted I went wi granddad. id say that was my first experience of joy riding. As we were drivin along I told granddad what a nice motor jeff had. this was maybe the first times granddad swore in front of me. he`d use the odd bastard here and there, but not inversation. And never in front of women. except family. For some reason, granddad dint take it very well my commentin on jeffs motor. “yeah, it’s a nice motor, but he`s always been a flash bastard scott”. then we weaved across the chevrons of the motorway exit he`d just took. He spotted Gloucester on one of the lanes. How we made the fast lane without hitting anyone was a miracle. I couldn’t tell him which way we needed to go, for laughin so much. A few miles down the road, granddad commented on a slip road beneath the motorway. Granddad was full of different stories of things as we passed things along the way. I found myself watchin the road more than granddad. he`d tell me of a story of him climbing a 750ft radio mast somewhere nearby. He casually mentioned this particular slip road, “see that road down there scott,” yeah granddad, “  “ we should be on the bastard “. I couldn’t speak to him for laughin. That meant we`d be lost again 10 minutes later. When I got to Hereford my stomach was killin me.  dad knew. On one of my aunts birth certificates, granddads trade was listed as a journeyman. Id love to hear the story that goes with that one. everyone has a little special piece of the jigsaw. It all starts with your birthday.Of all my family,obviously these are the most special to me. how ever much my dad meant to me, my kids take it higher. As it should be.

Saturday april 17^th 1993, I went off to work as usual.Rapping at kingsway cane. i got a call that morning telling me lisa had gone into labour. shi* yerself time. the Friday night before, we didnt get much sleep. The Saturday night was spent in the maternity ward. 17 ½ hours labour.I really felt for lisa. There was nothing I could do to stop the pain. A helpless feeling. The woman I loved was having my baby. All being well id be telling the lads im a dad on Monday. I could see the new world I was heading into. I knew I would have the same laughs with my kids that we had with our dad.i couldn’t wait to be in that world. at around 12 that Saturday night, the midwife told me I could get some sleep. There wasn’t going to be any thing happening for a few hours. she could see I was shattered like lisa was. a Scottish lady. I wish I could remember her name. I slept in th chair beside lisas bed.Around 2 hours later, I got woke up.the worst wake up ever,that side of the birth.Lisa had given her consent to have students present at the birth. Being a medical woman,I admired for it.im not medically minded. I said I didn’t want a load of strangers there watching, doing nothing.As it was,there werent any students around that late at night.Only one.a very tall muslim lad who helped out enourmously. I was only too glad to see this lad. Whatever colour his face was or whatever religion he worshipped. He couldve been in town getting pissed that night.But he wasn’t.He only spoke to ask permission to help.I was more concerned that lisa an the baby were ok.I sat mesmerized thru out.It was all I could do to talk to lisa.I couldn’t hold her hand becaus e of the drips she had in each. The most amazin experience in my life.to see a natural birth with your own two eyes, is truly a spectacular thing to see. When its your own, its made all the more perfect.At 2.50 am on Sunday April 18^th 1993,I saw Lauren come into the world.My daughter It didn’t bother me throughout the pregnancy.Boy or girl.I always knew a girl was going to be called Lauren. After my dad. the relationship I had with dad, was a very special one.that made dad very proud.He loved Lauren so much.She was his special little girl. He always called her that. as I sat there with her in my arms, just minutes old, I cried like a baby, and I didn’t care a bit. No matter how shattered I felt, I found a burst of energy.We were living at lisa`s parents house,but I went home to mam and dads,to kip on the settee.I couldnt sleep,so I went work for a bit.I was walking on air.A happiness came over me thats never left me.not for a second.I didnt want to let my gaffer down , and get behind in my work.At that time most of the work came through me.just before they started importing the furniture. I couldn’t wait to get home to tell mam and dad all about it. dad wasn’t present at any of our births. His generation and upbringing, he believed his place was in the kitchen smoking his head off. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.I remember smuggling in zinger burgers for lisa.it really was the most special thing we could have been through together. how we can have come to this,is beyond me. we haven’t spoken for well over a year. My nervous breakdowns as she thinks they were, and getting sectioned, how can I blame her for being anxious after some of my behaviour.I can make complete sense of all of it now.Lisa will see thru these chapters,that im beyond nervous breakdowns.I can never let anythin beat me mentally Dad always told me that. he could see I would find the answer, to whatever question I was asking of myself.I had to show him I was man enough to watch a child being born.he probably regretted not bein there for any of ours,after I told him about Laurens birth. When lisa fell pregnant the second time around, we got quite a shock at one of the scans“How do you feel about havin 2 children” the midwife asked us.Yeah we planned another it if that’s what you mean.We want another baby.“No,how do you feel about having 2”.Eh, I thought.“Theres one head there,an theres another”TWINS!! On one of the later appointments in the pregnancy, we were asked to come in on the 22<sup>nd</sup> of January. Can we come on the 23<sup>rd</sup> instead I asked. The nurse looked at me like I had something better to do on the 22<sup>nd</sup>. Not at all.I had something very very special, happening on the 23<sup>rd</sup>. “its my birthday that day.” “ooh lovely she said. Yes, come in on the 23<sup>rd</sup> then.”the song that reminds me of that very special time, is Swing low, ub40. i looked over Jordan what do i see, comin for to carry me home . the nervousness I felt that day, was twice as bad as before. I knew theres was twice the joy this time.how could I miss that birth.They were born by cesarian section. Because it was twins, the room was very full. About 15 people all dressed in green runnin round the place getting everything ready. I was dressed in all that green clobber as well. I felt like robin hood sat there. One of the staff asked me if I wanted to see them as they came out. I caught a glimpse of what was goin on and said no thanks. Lisa needs me this end.There was one diffrence in this pregnancy. I hoped and prayed for a boy.At 1.36 that afternoon,Joel Thomas akiens was born.as the nurse announced the first was a boy, I had to look. Curiosity got the better of me. what I saw opened my eyes very wide.I was quick to look away.Then a minute later, Georgia Rae akiens followed. One boy and one girl on your birthday. How proud that made me feel. I felt special. They were the perfect birthday present. You couldn’t ask for a better present. Both healthy weights. Georgia was 6.1 and Joel 6.4.They were born at 38 weeks.They took them away to check them both over for a few minutes. It felt longer.I sat beside lisa so proud of her. she was more special in my eyes than I was. I hadn’t eaten that day because of the nerves. As I stood under the lights looking over our twins, I went a bit light headed. I asked someone for a drink of water and a cool place to sit for a few minutes. I was no good to lisa in a heap on the floor.  They were obviously very busy working with her. As I sat outside the room I felt a glow inside me only I can know. I started to cry I was so happy. I couldn’t help it. a student nurse was lost and asked me the way to a ward.I couldn’t answer for the tears running down my face. She thought I was sad. I couldn’t even bring myself to tell her I was crying happy tears. I tried but she couldn’t understand and apologized to me for some reason. When I went back in id cleaned up for lisas sake. As I sat holding a baby in each arm, I started to cry again. they were all telling us how perfect they were. I managed to get the words out this time. its my birthday today. the whole room sang happy birthday to us.And again I cried like a baby and didn’t care a bit. I couldn’t wait for Lauren to see them. I phoned lisas mam first, like I did when Lauren was born. the greatest news ive ever had for anyone. “go on me duck what did she have,” Linda asked. “Well first we had a Joel Thomas akiens, and then we had a Georgia rae akiens.” she was so happy I thought she was about to cry. Im glad she didn’t. she would’ve started me off again. when I was a kid, dad told me off for cryin.He said the akiens don’t cry.He never said they cant cry tears of happine ss.I have to be honest about everything. I still feel the same about lisa.I never stopped loving her. between us we can make our precious kids the happiest kids alive. That is all Ive ever wanted to do. Now I really can make them the happiest kids alive. The proudest kids. Their dad has done all this for them. They will live in heaven even if I don’t. they can know, that one day we will all be together again. and we will be in that eternal heaven. I will be waiting with my dad, and all my family. The world I have lived in, is the one my children will never have to live in. just as a didn’t have to live in the world my dad lived in. Im thankfull I didn’t have to climb those chimneys and church steeples. They don’t ever have to fight like I did. They will never have to take the risks I have. These streets can be very very mean. Ive seen a lot of that in the last few years. there really are some devils out here. I can take em all.but im not goin to.I can see a better way. We write our way out of trouble now. I am thankful Ive been blessed with having two full hands. Writing this book for my children the way I have, its been a real pleasure. Its all been for them. I have to show them something for the time I haven’t been with them. I need lisa to know im ok. The safety of everyones kids the whole world over,for ever,is at stake.How can she not see our kids are at their safest and happiest with me. I want to be back in their world, and I know 100% they want to be back in mine.They can see im ok and are as comfortable with me now as they can be.when I read this,the story of their family to them,they will be the happiest kids alive.The happiness of every single child on earth,soon follows. That makes every single mother on earth happy.Lisa an her mum listen with the same spellbinding mesmerized attention, as the kids. Of all the Jackanories in our family, im the one who topps the lot. I listened to all the other jackanories,and I had the good sense to get it on paper.There are just too many to remember.its right there at the front of my mind as soon as you ask me about it. the good memories lisa and I have, are the ones that repair all the damage ive done.Some of the things ive done and said whilst not myself,this is the only way to repair it.a few of the things I was sayin.Sis told me I was tellin people I was put on this earth to solve all its problems.Tell me im not.Tell me you don’t want me to be. I told someone else I owned the space centre an the pumping station.I will.When beckham turns up wi loads of sponsorship money off his workmates and colleagues. Then im goin to start sharing it all out equally.The strangle hold money has over the world has to be taken off slowly.We cant just pull the ladder up on it.I remember tellin loz when I still worked at ksway 2 years ago, the answer to all the worlds problems was banning money. I told Lauren, that I could bring babies back from the dead.Can you imagine my horror to realise that I said that to my daughter. Lauren.So very very special.She loves babies.When she used to hold Katie in her arms, Katie would be screaming her head off at her.but she wouldn’t give up and put the baby down.to say a thing like that to my own daughter,it broke my heart.I had to search an search inside my crazy upturnd world.I knew dad had something to do with the twin towers,cause of the times. I had all that goin on in my mind. Kim the girl I had a fourth child with,was bein given a very bad time also.A living nightmare would be a better way of putting it.I couldn’t turn my back on her.it was kim who told me what I said to Lauren. I cant bring babies back from the dead. Not in this world. in the next world I can show you how to find them.In this new world of full of hope,you will have peace of mind that they are fine.Wherever they are Today I saw a head line that disturbed me a little.Some Bastard,sexually assaulted an 11yr old girl.How can dip lomatic immunity not have a clause for perverted wa*kers like that.Sorry for callin him these truthful names.I didn’t catch his name.my daughter lauren,shes 11yrs old.I want to stop your sort doin that shit,just like I want your mums new boyfriend to stop behavin like a wa*ker. Im talking about bill and alex. Ive sorted bill my way already.I havent seen twat face yet.I did see him one night in syston. He was unblievably lucky I wasn in mycar.Whats a few more dents. Iv Never had a bling motor,only old knackers that have done all the mileage.Like some of the women ive known.52 lottery billionaires are out there sumwhere.None of em know it either. the odd husband here or I cant see em mindin about that.would they shun the dosh an want to fight evil akiens?I doubt it.very much.It is all I can do to apologize.They were meant to be.jus like my fights with lads.Jus like the women who cheated on me. everything that has happened, for all of us, has always been meant to happen. It leads us all up to this point in time.the time to change it all.it would be a crime against god for me to not see the next world,after writin all this.youre sellin the world short.The buzz you feel out there,aint no feelin like it.iv felt it B4 loads of times.Its nothin new to me.Walkin like Jack the Lad Proper,I felt like a King.you feel very very full of energy. Like havin lightenin in your veins.As you`l find out, when your ready

When Becks turns up, i could be in the street, bendin a few in fer Ace or Lucien probbly. My fave targets in the drop zone. Billo kids. They get on the end of mine. Brave fcukers !! im Practisin for th head 2 head.Whos better,faster,an more accurate?Me Dirty on the street in cheap shoes, or Goldenballs.Like they say in the ad, im always out there. i hit Lampposts tho, not golf flags. the whole place flickers. 

Dad knew the four SteepleJacks earnt the family a King. I know who it is now.

Miss Lauren Mary Akiens.I have to abdicate, as soon as I come to be known.Im the uniting Jack.My dads special little girl.My daughter.In 1996,the SPice girls made an unbearable year more bearable.They kept Lauren distracted and happy.Our family went thru a hell worse than Beckhams year. Mine has been ever since.I thank them in the same way I thank beckham. We found dads illness to be terminal,the day before her birthday. On Victorias.The same as dads lucky penny red stamp, dated apr 17th 1901. This stamp symbolizes the bridge to India.Thru her we tell the world.Belgrave now has the colour she needed.Our very own Little India.We watched over her for years, waiting. Patiently

When I was a kid, and I said the line Dad got me sayin, some one came up with a line that stumped me. when I said my name was evil akiens an I was takin over the world, some smart arse said,

“yeah, you an who`s army..? ”    

Me n the blue Army, are about to march all over the  world,  startin wi

man united, an finishin with a united  womankind

 the real promised land,  the walkers stadium.

 leicester city football club,  englands new home

 his truth is marchin on 

The family could do with an akiens Re-Union. They all need tellin. ALL of em

 The Walkers Stadium should be big enough for all the English ako`s.

dad found this stamp years ago when he was workin in someones attick doin a loft conversion. a penny red Dating from april 17th 1901. when queen Victoria was the reignin monarch. dad always wondered if it was worth ote. the trotters had a valuable watch. the ako`s had quenn Victorias stamp, well licked !!!  Whats Victoria Beckhams birthday...?   these are the sorts of things ive had to make sense of. for example, could you call it a coincidence, that granddad was 1 year 2 weeks and 3 days old when his brother Jesse died. 123. its all part of getting to grips with decoding the matrix for Real. these dates show you a clear visible path through your families history. 

if i do summat, your goldenballs copies me at some point.

Diego someone in my fcukin side, got me sent off as well. This one was very probably tubbin the missus at work. As I reluctantly agreed to move out on the satdee, guess whos on the settee Tuesday, for Lauren to stumble upon. This diego wasn’t very nice to my little girl. I imagine up til now he thought hed got away with it scott free like so many others. NAH mate. You don’t get away wi that at all. If only I had a photo of him. You wont believe your mince pies. Those two diegos have to meet as well.

  On June 5^th 1998, I was helping stack up the shelfs on the false flooring. Another container had come in and we had to find every nook and cranny available. Stacks of chairs a dozen high were stood right up to the edge. All the way round, furniture was touching the ceiling. The pictures give you some idea. For a better idea, nip round there. Its still like it today. No protective barriers have been put round that area still. That’s too time consuming when theres money to be made. This day I was passing chairs up to mr steve. The vibration caused a stack of Malvern footstools to topple 14 to 16 feet above me. Three or four bounced off my back as I covered up. I felt shooting pains in my ribs and back immediately. Steve asked if theyd hit me on the head. I told him no, he said , “oh that’s alright then” I finished passing them up, as the pain got worse. By the nighttime I couldn’t breathe let alone move. The tapes I made of the conversations concerning this accident, I had to. They were pullin the ladder up on me. My mate wheeler told me all about it. Im glad I did tape the sly devious greedy git. Its only his words on the tape. He isn’t coerced into sayin what he says. I had 6 weeks off work with that injury, and I was bullied back before I was ready. The payout I was offered, I had to fight tooth and nail. All along I said I didn’t want to make anything. No damages or compensation. I just didn’t want to lose out when it wasn’t my fault. The gaffer told me I had to sue the firm to get the insurance to pay out. Then he told all the lads I was threatening to have them shut down by what I was “doing to them.” . by the time I returned to work, I was looked on as a scumbag if I was to be perfectly honest. They dirtied my name and I had to earn it back. I did with the ones who mattered. The two faced bastards stabbed me in the back from that point on. Ive already got a load of those stories written in my fcukin side the book I wrote before this website. The exit beckham had from man utd, I had a mirrored one at kingsway. When kingsway needed me most, I was there for them. Loyally for years. I had the odd Friday off here an there. That upset them a bit, but they accepted I made up for it. I worked all the hours I could, blistering my fingers Rapping. Before I started at kingsway, they had 3 Rappers. When giles left cos of missus trouble at the end of 1992, I was given the chance to take on all the Rapping. Different work to what we were used to. More import flatpack suites to tart up an flog. None of us were happy with it I don’t think. I enjoyed making the different bits. This new way of working was ok because of the volume of it. Bein a piece worker, you could really pick up speed. You couldn’t earn too much, theyd moan at ya. but it did mean you could have a fag in peace. My hands needed the rest. They burned like hell. Blood seeps through your skin without cuts. Its like your hands are permanently pickled. Once you’ve got past the first half hour of the day, the wet Rapping moistens up your fingers enough to start bendin em again. Without feelin like your goin to pass out. At 6 in the morning  wi no heating, dippin your blistered hands into a dirty stagnant water tank, aint one of the nicest jobs ive had first thing. I took on a big responsibility for them in 1993. without me then, they wouldn’t be where they are today. My Raps are all over their furniture, and it will be for years to come no doubt. I don’t care what anyone says. Theyre mine. I designed them.

So I can relate to Beckham on that one as well. I know how important I was in the 93^rd. he was for England , onstage tho.  To see him come a cropper 3 weeks and 3 days later, came as no surprise. To see diego someone behind it, that was no surprise. To see Beckham kick out like he did, that was no surprise either. He kicked out like the ako`s do. The Diego`s were cheatin in boths worlds.

i got patched up on a better date tho. Same as Queen Victorias StamP   :O)

from kingsway cane in the west,

id sooner be walkin wi kane west

whos wi me ?  whos wi Huntley ? its that simple ! When I look at those two little girls, the two little Beckhams, I think of my 2 little girls. Dad called me evil so I got in loads of practise for when the devil shows up. my guess is, he wont show up til after ive gone. If you want realism, id say in the eyes of those two little girls and their families, this piece of shit is close enough. Hes close enough for me.hes on hunger strike after next week I hear. Good. that saves me havin to make an example of him. lets do some good and televise it. id sooner kick footballs at kids, than go back to that old way of life, the ako`s are a bit good at. The fighting has to end at some point. Nows as good as any.writing is the way forward. A pc is the perfect medium to do all you need to. if you look at it this way, it could be said that computers were invented for this very reason. Me to write this book on, and you all to read it on. That sounds madness this side of my fcukin side as well. maybe my death will be what is needed for the vicars to do their jobs. From there I`ll really be able to give em the kick up the arse they need. my kids have spent the last 2 years away from me needlessly. the pain they go through will be reflected just like my pain was the morning my dad died. When I saw  what happened on my big brothers birthday in new york, at those times,I know the world Im goin off to is behind, above, beneath and all around you. the one I leave behind, is the one we all leave behind. until I see the world I know is possible beginning, all those who did nothing to help me, those who knew, theyre in for some serious shit. They’ve been happy to let the likes of ken bigley and Margaret Hassan die needlessly. I told the vicars in plenty of time to save both. how dare they talk of believing in god. They have no self belief. How can they believe in god. Without belief in yourself, how can you believe in god. Belief in themselves, would have seen them doing their duty to god. 

my mam said they should throw the likes of him to the women of the families. I agree. I think it would cure the bastards as well. Girl power has all kinds of unknown unharnessed qualities. Just like fantasy football has. When you open up that percentage of the mind still unused, you can see It much easier. That area of the mind, is for your imagination. You have to see the world without wars before you can do that. as yet no one can. Only me. every problem in society disappears domino like along the way. I.e, fantasy football doesn’t work without girl power, and none of it works while cannabis is illegal. Legalise that, an i can show you how it ends all the other drug problems.  Personally, id like to see Huntley in stocks. Then just gimme loads of footballs, and plenty of room to swing. The kids can watch this way. Frank skinner said in his book, he feels as tho some ones goin to ask him for his ticket one day. that ticket, is half his dosh goin to my bring fantasy football home fund. This way I can also teach beckham how to be evil, without all the shi* I had to go thru. The same concept could be taken to those guilty of terrace trouble. I.e racism, coin throwing. Fill a stand full of idiots, and pick em off one by one. a nosebleed earns their forgiveness. However sad that time was when dad lay dyin, we had some great laughs. goin over the old times. we took the piss out of stuff in the papers, like we always did. did didnt like politicians. he always said they should shoot a few do gooders to shut the rest up. he didnt like political correctness. i spent an hour every day from the day we learnt it was terminal. think of del boy. what his mum said on here death bed n`all that. dad took over 6 months. our chats will make you piss. you dont have to believe any of this to be true. just enjoy it. even tho it is true. maybe one or two porkies. you should be able to spot them. maybe you need to read beckhams side and the bible before then. one day he opened up the paper, the star. splashed all over the pages were the spice girls. dad made a usual crumpet comment.

" jesus christ have you seen this in the paper...?

oh the spice girls. thats all i hear off lauren. 

"which would you go for if you had the chance scott...? "

" id have to go for the firey one dad. i like the dress. "

"that surprises me, i thought youd go for the blonde babyspice."

"nah, baby spice is Laurens favourite dad. it wouldnt feel right."

"so youd go for the ginger nut ?"

"yeah. if i got the chance, easy. i could pull her dad." 

"bet you a fiver you couldnt"   

"for a fiver dad, id even tell her how girlpower works "

"yes scott, im sure you could. your sort always do. im sure you`ll find a way to swing it somehow. "

In a world so full of bullshi*,  bullshit is the answer. The very best Bull  

My Fcukin Side certainly has enuff of that !!  this is just a whiff of it.  

some years later i was in a conversation with another lawrence. my best mate at kingsway. my right hand man. a very good mate who i had loads an loads of laughs with. a mate i miss. workin with loz made it a pleasure to go work sometimes. one day we were goin through the papers at teabreak slaggin various bits off. i came across somethin i knew i could make use of. a few days before we were goin thru the calender checkin out the crumpet. one was perfect from the neck down. the neck up looked out of place. so, me an loz decided to operate. i came across a pic of Geri H, and we stuck on the calender birds mush. however juvenile it sounds, we found it hilarious. 

"  Tell you what Young Un, id shag her  "

"  Yeah mate so would i  " 

" i know Young Un, ive seen some of the birds youve done remember. sticki vicki for one. "

"  thats rich comin from u , u wanker. if i was in the right place at the right time mate, i could pull er. bet you a fiver i could "

 " that would sort out who the king really was, wouldnt it. yer on Young Un "

a funny thing happened while i was taxiin. the firm i worked for operated in loz`s area. everytime i passed his house i papped my hooter. his chimney got hit by lightenin. it pretty much blew up his living room. well, accordin to the insurance claim it did. they did well out of it.

The lads were always comin up with different games to play at work. to help get us through the days. there isnt one window in the factory. we had some great laughs. some real classics. it was always a case of, them against us wi the dannos. that shows by how they pulled the ladder up on us all. bringin in the imports piece by piece. every container had a new item of our work on it. we werent told we wouldnt be makin these jobs anymore. typical of most business`s really. this ones run by racist greedy wankers. i was just one casualty. we had a competition goin at kingsway. called  " Whos The King  "  . it was an open contest, but only 3 people were really in it. me, loz an dick.  i won.  

id like to know as much as possible about what happened on October 29th 1913. Just 3 days before Jesses`s 18th birthday. that inquest must have been documented. they need to be added. if Great uncle Jesse died at the royal, it was truly a miracle. the death crtificate says he died from lacerations to the lungs. they had to put something. in my opinion, they guessed at that because they were told he came down chest first. who knows.....

?

Whatever i look like now, its just a shadow of my former self. When I looked like beckham, you hated me for it. now I look like his ghost, im hated more. I do impressions of quite a few people. If I said, “ do you think I look like beckham, ?” youd laugh in my face. after ive took a freekick, if you have a brain, your laughin louder. If I said, “ do you think I look like bob marley, again, youd laugh in my face. when I show you my big toe, that`ll be enoughm to make you laugh Real. Genuine laughin. If you have a brain. One that says no to child crime for ever. if I have to leave my kids in this world, im goin out makin sure theyre safe without me. your kids are safe with them. My impression of the devil makes sure of that. to a vicar it’s the devil. To anyone who lives in the real world, its justice. if I died today, the sadness my kids will feel, can only be repaired because I did my job. I did what I had to do for the family before I left. Their sadness ends in knowing, that one day we will all be together again. like I know I will see my dad again. if you believe your whole life, you will be with your lost loved ones again, its goin to happen. My story gives you all the proof you need, that that world waits for us all. everyone who lives in this gods world, by his rules. I know em all. dad told me all my life, I had the answer to every question. He also knew, if I didn’t know it, id never give up till I figured out the answer. He created purposely the most curious kid ever, and he nurtured that curiosity thru challenges he set me. I didn’t see them as challenges, because dad never set me challenges. He tell me about something someone had done, and wait for me to out do em. above everything else, making my Dad proud of me was everything to me all my life. until he told me on his deathbed, I had only to prove myself to myself, no one else. I`ll die happy, and ill die wantin you to know ive been laughin inside ever since I realised im the geezer who finishes jesus`s work. the best way for me to describe that feelin, is to say, imagine how beckham felt when that goal went in against Greece.

Ive wrote volumnes an volumnes the last few years. because I know how important these memories and thoughts of mine are. Iv wrote them in case I don’t get the chance to tell them in my own words. There are 5 or 6 books, with thousands of other stories waiting to be added. The first book I want everyone to  read, is the website. I wrote that last. The second is this book in front of you now on screen. The diaries of Jack The Lad The third book to read is the main one. bend it like evil akiens. you need to read either of the other 2 before even attempting to read that.  just email,fax or text beckham at home or at work. tell him we`ve got a job to do together,bringin football home to england. once he hears that,hes on the way, bringin world peace with him.then you get to read all three much more easily. Then you can get to read the three books I wrote before these. With beckhams help, I can get em published in no time. without his help I wont live long enough to see them published. there should be a number 7 blue army top wi his name on the back by the time he gets there. ive got it all sorted out ready. ive been waitin for him to turn up for 3 years. that’s how ready I am, to do what I was put on this earth for. to put right all the wrongs of the last 2000 years. ive done that in the first book I wrote. This second one is just bein written to passt the time while im waitin.Im havin a battle of wills with both the vicars. Neither will come to my door to ask me about my constant tellin them im jesus. I guess theyre not comin,cos they know god would prefer it to be th other half of Christ that switches this half on. I switch his half on at the same time. the sooner he gets round here to pick me up from this obscurity, the sooner I can get crackin on the job dad left me in charge of.Ok, this is very important so listen up. this is the second book ive written.it hasn’t got any pictures, just stories that will blow your mind.The first book i wrote has hundreds of photos. They prove one thing. God is Very Real.In that first book,you have proof of the birth of Christ,proof of the miracles of christ,proof of the crucifixtion,and proof of the resurrection. I can fill this whole world with joy.my dads god above,his name is LOL.You simply add his name wherever you laugh out loud.jus like you do in all the chat rooms anyway.You have the funniest, saddest, true life story of one mans monumental struggle,to overcome all the evil in the world.mine.All I have to do after this gets out,is take a freekick in front of the whole world.if these books don’t bend beckhams mind, my freekick will. Ive spent a long time perfectin it in my workboots. Now ive practised wi the kids in our street for a few weeks in the nikes,I say it myself,mines better.when he comes, im the dirty lookin reflection whippin a few in for kids to practise on. I take football back to its roots. When he turns up, im goin to really unleash. Because these are kids, I cant be myself so to speak.Its gods intention,that the world decides whos better. a heaven sent scenario. A complete unknown steppin out onto the worlde stage. Outside my house in my street,in front of the kids.Im up for it.Im takin shots at beckham.He takes em at me.who hits who the most.The challenge beckham adverts I saw on pepsi bottles,I could swear that’s dads way of pointin out the competition of all como`s. The one that will work. my messiah is a football, its sweet chariot that swings low, is my right nike. After some of that, we can plan how to bring fantasy football home.he cant do it without me,an I cant do it with out him.I built a table in our bootshaped backyard especially for our meetin. Our street is shaped like a canon from above.Our boot fits like the bottom part of a canon.Like arsenals ensign. Shame this boots in Leicester. The blue armies boot. The real promised land is the walkers stadium. Englands new home.When i told the churches I was back, I even told em im a 32year old carpenter whos mothers name is mary.How much more clearer can you be for fcuks sake!!  if you keep this to yourself, feel very guilty next time you hear of a kid goin missin. You could have played your part to ensure that doesn’t happen. Me goin global,prevents them all. Within days if not hours. Jesus lived and died on the cross. Because he died and rose again, he had 2 souls that went their separate ways,thru history.always destined to meet back up, as part of gods supreme masterplan. I am one of those two souls. The messiah.Im the half with a 2000year memory,and I can show you my path thru history. I already have, in the first book. its vital you get a completed copy of that,after youve read this.When those 2 souls come together finally,this whole world witness`s the all mighty power of God.That other half,walks around today not knowing he is the other half soul of Christ the king in 2004. it may come as quite a surprise to him, as it did me, when I realised I was the messiah.That first book I wrote, is one half of the first chapter of the next testament.My lifestory and his sit next to the bible on the book shelfs. It wont be the worlds number one bestseller anymore. I need this news all over the web asap. Send it to everyone in your address books. And tell those people to send it to everyone in theirs. This chain letter, is the one you would wish for. the first book is way to big a file to send by email. 123 pages packed with mind blowing facts and photographs. When the son of god returns,he bring with him his own bible,for All to read. You can find out how jesus survived in todays world, and how he found his way back. I end all the crap, and I unite all the faiths and all the races. I end all child killing,rape, murder,all the bad stuff we see in todays world. when this short file is known all over the world,il have all the exposure I need.The first book,I read it out to the whole world,live,in my own words I must meet my other half soul, only then can I begin the work I was put on earth for. the job im itchin to get started. To put right all the wrong, of the last 2000 years. my family have always been great story tellers. A whole family full of Jackanorys. You can help make our story better by telling the world what stories we told you. theyre your ticket into heaven. lamens terms, flog the basttard to whoever wants to buy it. that’s what my dad would have wanted. 

Because Jesus died an was reborn,he had 2 souls.The 2 souls passed thru history,always destind 2meet back up.as part of gods supreme masterplan . Im the half 2 tel th other.He dont know,just as I dint until 3yr ago.For a man 2 proclaim himself the king of kings,he must have a kings wisdom.A wisdom he must earn himself.To rule our world perfectly.Imagine a man, with a 2000yr memory,and a better freekick than david beckham.Thats what U have in me.Before I can take the weight of the world off bushs shoulders,the greatest superpower this world has ever seen,he must kneel before me.when I combine the 2 that make up the real superpower,george will b only 2 happy 2 kneel before the king of kings.I sort out all the US`s problems,like I do th whole worlds.I realised 3yrs ago I was half of Christ the king today.i told the vicars 2yr ago!im sick of tellin the ignorant gits. Fcuk em.if they cant see that fantasy footie & girlpower are the real super power, they must be blind.Im the lad whos job is to bring football home to England,&peace on earth,all over.When this world has the 2 halves JC back together, this world will witness th true almighty power of God.The book ive wrote,is th dirty matchin half 2 DBs my side.put th 2 together,U have both halves of th 1^stchapter of th next testament There are 2 worlds in this 1.in lamens terms,I can translate th matrix. I can show u dejavu carved in stone behind U in Ur family history.th pattern u find will blow ur mind Stick all ur family tree dates in a 1 yr diary.I had 400years to work on.All the births weddins an deaths. u can find out th date in th yr u pass away.Frightenin stuf I kno,until U find where U get back up again. once the world knows that, every one is workin together,2 make sure that every1 wakes up in that new world we can now build.Its all the incentive we need,2 get every1e doin their bit.When he finds out who he is,its goin 2 bend his mind like it did mine.If he could make a wish ,im all of it & more.When I scored for th family & England,he scored for man utd & England.diffrent goals.when I fell down,he fell down.same injury.Mirrord lives runnin side by side.If it happens to me,it happens to him.logically, bring th 2 of us 2gether,he avoids injury for good Whod be stupid enuf 2 cut down 1 half of Christ maliciously,after readin both our books.Hes a fortune waitin to be cutdown,in this world of money worship.Between us, we can bring U all a world full of pple,who are workin for each other,not money.he needs my help just as I need his. I cant see the future,I can tell u the future thats possible with global awareness.My book charts the journey my half of Christ took thru history.when ive got beckhams family tree,an a copy of his side,ill be able 2 show U the path his half took thru hist ory.the book ive wrote, is all about my families history&my lifestory Mines jus th last chapt er of a very colourful past.Our fcukin side has it all.the saddest,most inspirational funniest book ever wrote.its unique in lots of ways.If u read it thru DBs eyes,it adds a whole new perspective.If u add my dads name everytime U laugh out loud,LOL,it gets it funnier.It gets funnier everytime u read it.its the book that fills the whole world wi joy.its the map 2heaven.we are the guide.the only guide for quite a long time.who the fcuk am I tho?Fathers jim & phil on stocking farm know. ask em. Both.my homes footballs home. My fcukin side has all the dirty stuff in it.all the crap every day people go thru. ive written my book for the man in the street.i left school with no qualifications at all,so this book can only really be proper understood by the man in the street.ive tried to get it publishd loads of times,to no avail.ive tried tellin all kinds of ppl im th lad who finishs wot JC began.A few churchs,a some mosques,Leicester city fc,several charities, magazines,papers,police,local mps,radio stations, even th whiteyhouse.in fact,its hard 2believe so many ppl who belive in god,cant believe ther own prophesies.Im the 1 theyve all bin waitin for. the best news for 2000 yrs.they wait for me to come to church. Inspite of bein warned im dyin,and of th consequences this world face,should I die befor my work 4 god has begun.with my help, Armageddon aint comin,I take us all out of it.i left the home I was born in,Belgrave,2 move this side of th river before I was 2.Everythin I did since has all bin wrote about. amoung my achievements in the west,I deliverd pizzas to thousands,then I deliverd thousands of people drivin a taxi, I slept wi 52 birds exactly.all diffrent states.sum were mingers sum wernt.i wrote about all of em, resp ectfully in my diaries My family in Bel Grave,were steeplejacks.Im th 5^th generation jack th lad down on th ground.how do I prove Im“the one”? I had twins born on my birth day.1 perfect boy & 1 perfect girl. could Your goldenballs bend 1 in like that? i head the trinity today.Dad called me goldenballs.Hell followed If this page has blown your mind,wait til u read my fcukin side,an see my freekick!fax,email,every1,Til Beckham hears. When hes in dummy town,im on my way home.Hes walkers bound. The Real Promised Land.Jesus Christ today,is a Born Again Blue Army fan

i head the trinity in the here an now. This is how Jesus looks today people, Like it ?

st peters, the place where I was christened. My god parents were the becks.The place my family have married at for centuries. All the events in our family tree took place here. the side entrance at st peters, a 13^th century church, has a gravestone opposite. It leans towards the vestry door.The ako`s tradesmans entrance.At the top of that head stone, theres a date.A very very important date. The book I began, has been a life long mental jigsaw.The holy grail at the end of it,was this headstone.I had to make my way to it,without knowing it existed. This is the story, of my journey home.guided by God , my dad, our father in heaven.I made it back thru my total faith in him,a self belief like you can only imagine at present.This dog is a god to me.hes kept me safe out here,by his presence alone.Ive kept him safe,and I tamed him with a football.i took the fight out of him that way.The level of intelligence I have, super genius is close enough. You have no intelligence like it on earth today in any other person. Merry xmas folks

when i had twins born on my bthday, Dad called me Goldenballs.Hell Followed Are we The Saviours of English football..? is Sid the new workin England mascot..?? A Demon in midfield. if becks can keep it off him for 1min,hes the 1^stever.if he can whip one past him like he did that greek wall,hes the 2^nd.They train each other.Our heaven sent cement.When I scored for the ako`s he scored for England,when jack fell down,I saw injury comin. mirrored.im his early warnin to injury.Keep me safe,hes kept safe from now on His unsung whippin boy,who whips them better,faster,more accurate. Belgraves King !

Adams gone,give me the chance.i only want a quid a game.beckham follers

If you got a mention in the last book, you get your chance to have your say in this one. one page an one picture each. its all you can do to tell the truth. The last book has been written entirely by me. in secrecy alone. The Jack in a box writer of the family.they add whatever they want to this second never ending book. Natasha beddingfield,sang a song that inspired me in a way. It makes me feel good when I hear it. im always tyin more stuff on the pc. That’s where I listen to music. When the feel good songs come on, I write about the good happy times. The funny times and the proudest moments. My mood shows in these words of mine. Elvis has me writin mostly about dad, and the kids. all the songs we remember trigger a memory. all kinds of emotions can spring up in a single note. changing your mood instantly. Sub consciously. A sad song will inspire sadness, if you remember it that way. We all have to find a positive side to our sad songs.

The 53^rd state. ( The sequel to the last book. the one wi no name as yet.)

Fat yanks.Americas obesity problem,is a mirror of the starvation an poverty elsewhere in the world.when the skinny people put weight on,the obese will lose it.their 2 worlds come together as one, livin in the same world. Both now have a new lease of life. this inspires everyone, to achieve their own personal goals.Prove only yourself to yourself.

The beckhams take a security entourage shoppin apparently. I stop all that. for the work he does for gods masterplan should be appreciated, and its goin to be. hes goin to be left alone to do his own thing from now on.

In one of the very many letters I sent father jimmy, I told him I was dying. And that Armageddon is on the way, should that happen. For Christianity to test Christ how they have, its as though they feel Christianity is bigger than Christ. No they aren’t. just as man utd aren’t bigger than beckham. I don’t need Christianity, just as he doesn’t need man utd. Im turning my back on them, because they turned their backs on me. if god can punish without prejudice, i.e children dying of cancer, when theyre innocents in this world, im sure the punishment he dishes out on trhese twats in dog collars, they get treated like the devil. God sent his son to calm everything 2000 years ago. he was punished then in exactly the same way I am now. todays is a modern day crucifixtion. One you wouldn’t see without these books. The vicars don’t work for god, they work for christianity. I don’t. suitable punishments need to be in place for them. My will today, is gods will after im gone. I want them to spend the rest of their lives on this earth, making up for that ignorance. I want them climbing church steeples. When they climg those highs above their house of god, they will be in gods presence. A place where he grants forgiveness, a place high above all your laws in the eyes of mankind. When they stand at the top of their own roof, they feel gods breath on their faces, and they cry the tears of Christ. Just as I have everytime ive ever cried. I cry at the sight of people suffering needlessly. my crucifixtion is watching the people in this world go through their own personal crucifixtions. My story makes all those hell on earths disappear for good, for god.

This bullshit about fox hunting. I have a very clear view on this. the country folk claim this blood sport provides their communities with much needed finance. Its only a fox. A pest. I would like to think, if we could replace fox hunting with a lesser more profitable recreation, theyd be only too happy to give up killing senselessly, sadistically, another of gods creatures. Im sure even the most ardent supporter of fox hunting, would welcome this change. how a medieval type set up still goes on in todays world, it defies belief. If there are any fox hunting people who still maintain they have a right to carry on this age old tradition, ive got this to say to them. You bring your dog, ill bring mine, and they can both eat whats left of you after ive finished. If I should slip away early, and I don’t carry out that example to be made, ill take care of them from above. Can you imagine, being let loose, made to run across field after field, in shear terror. Your kids are at home, relyin on you coming home to feed them. Can you imagine the two differences. Making it home to feed your kids, or hiding in a field somewhere, an im looking for you. whatever your dogs do to the foxes, that’s what I do to you. with gods permission, and a god given strength to carry out what I have to. its up to you, like anything in this. do you believe I will be waitin, for all those guilty of crimes against god. Kill another fox, and you`ll find out. because you’ve been warned, the punishment for ignoring that warning, is a thousand generations of suffering lives ahead of you. all of them as painful as the pain the fox goes through. Each death will be different to the one before. You will die a hellish death, only to be born in a hellish new life. I hate every blood sport. These people , have the same social standing, as the vicar. Their worlds are both worth so much more than our lives out here on the street. Where its rougher, more real. The world of the masses. If im unleashed upon you how you unleash upon the fox, im like my dog. he`ll work his way through every dog you have. I will whip through you snobbish bastards, an ill keep goin, until youre all stood motionless, arms straight out to the sides of you. like your on a cross. If you can make that postion in time for me to see it, it may save your life. imagine the fox having an autopsy. Which organ failed first, during the bloodshed. Then watch the families, friends and loved ones of those behind that evil act. See how many end their days, with that same organ failing them. The good bit, is that when these fox hunters realise this, its enough to make them stop. If they have any kind of decency they will. If they choose to ignore it and carry on, the only prayer for the families, is if they are cut off completely. Would you sacrifice your family and friends, the place where you live, because you enjoy killing so much. It really would take an idiot to carry on. Why people don’t go fishing, or rambling, or camping more, is a mystery to me. this country has some of the most beautiful countryside in the world. id sooner be filling it with kids laughin, playin in the sticks. Out of the cities, polluted dirty streets. Who would rather see this country appreciating its natural beauty, in these ways, and who would rather keep with the killing fields. When ive taken away the excuse of financial support in the community, only the most sadistic supporters will be left standing. You aint killin foxes, because he`s the mascot of my football team. the team god chose for me. a very long time ago. he has had this plan set out in history, I had to see it. im as supportive of the worlds climate change issues, as I am of banning fox hunting. If I can do one, I can do the other. It doesn’t even matter in which order I do them. One will follow the other. Logic tells you that, as it does most things. Pure logic, is no good at all, without the sense of humour needed. No matter what has happened, however bad, you must take something beneficial from it. what good can possibly come out of what happened on September 11^th .?  the good I take from it, is that it was meant to be, so that I could stop it ever happening again. no one died that day for nothing. Those hijackers, they found their place in hell. They saw the punishment their family, friends and loved ones went through. Because they saw it through their eyes. how many suicide bombers will that deter. It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, thanit is for a rich man to pass through the gates of heaven. that is very very true. This is because, the monies left by a rich man, in the vast majority of cases, families fall out over it. the heartache these families go through, the arguments that arise, the poverty in some cases, and in dire cases, people kill each other over money. these rich men will never be in heaven, when they see all the suffering through their kids eyes. logically, when everyone knows this, they don’t fall out at all ever again. when one member of the family does something bad to another, the bloke person who passed away, will punish them for it. when they do something good for someone, he sees to it they get a little bit of luck somewhere. Logic tells me that luck plays no part in anything. neither does coincidence. Everything is meant to be. for something to be a coincidence, is to say god made a mistake, or he isn’t in control over it. which he is. the dates repeating through my family tree, show me that god has everything covered. Being born on one date, to die on another, you see god had it all planned for a long time. you might get spooked if I told you you can work out when you die. If I told you, in doing that, you find out where you get back up again, would that pook you, or would it take all that spook away.? Logically, it should take it away. When you know where you get up. you aint scared of sayin goodbye from this life. there is no reason at all to be afraid of death. The sadness we feel at death in this world, is all about to be taken away. In the next world, we love life to the full. We live live to the full. Death is something that reaches us all one day. how cool would it be,to see yourself in this world before you make your way into the next one. I can show you how to find yourself as well.no one loves a smartarse. What if im this smart. How can you hate me, for simply doin the job I was put on earth for. to write the book that makes everyone feel like I do inside. Like the happiest person alive. Inspite of an early departure from this life, and the sadness my kids will feel at my loss. They will have the reassurance, that im waiting for them in the next life, and we will all be together again one day. for the time being, they will now be able to enjoy this world. walking free wherever they please. Gods family. When the kids have grown up with this knowledge ive left them, they’ll be more than quilaified to rule this world. if they start getting things wrong, ill visit em in their dreams, and ill tell them how to sort it. as my dad is doing with me, and my sis in our dreams today.

The legalisation of cannabis the whole world over. As I explained in the first book. im goin over it again, because I like this chapter. The whole world, will love this chapter. Even the staunchest campaigner for non smokers will see this will work if we do it my way. None of these books count for jackshit if gange aint legalised. You need it to keep your blood pressure at a safe level, and it opens your imagination to the max. that percentage of the brain as yet unused, that’s the key that unlocks it. if you take it back right, it takes you right back. All the way back. To your last life and beyond, all the way back to jesus. The place where I score, is my vision express. My glasses to the past. yours too. Don’t let anyone tell you you cant smoke it. its virtually the phone call to god. Now, that all sounds well and good, but I have to prove god approves. My big bro, was taught how to grow things when he was a kid. when he reads this chapter, his eyes are gonna pop out of his head, just about. he was born on September 11^th. He died for 2 ½ minutes fetching it for me. breaking his neck in exactly the same place as superman actor Christopher reeve. He broke c4. my big bro walked downstairs the next morning, to smoke a joint of what killed him. he got back up to legalise weed. The whole world will love my big bro. Hes jesus in our family. Hes not comin up with any ideas on how to tell the world, so I guess I have to do it. Now, this is where the rabbit hole gets very deep. If you aint careful, you fork off into a dead end. you need to pay attention. It’s a mental jigsaw puzzle. Ive got the picture complete. The map to heaven. when you know youre goin to see jesus walkin the earth again, you need a spliff to keep you from burstin with joy. On September 11^th , we have a very sad anniversary. A sad date in the calender. Its for this reason I want the whole world to know I found my way back finally.on that day. My journey home.a 2000 year flight,landing on January 23^rd 1996. it was on that date, my twins were born. on my 26^th birthday.The trinity in the here and now was reborn. I can show u my path thru history.Im not jesus.Im half of him.his soul reborn forked off  Two souls went their separate ways thru history.when they meet back up,this whole world witness`s the true power of god. I am one half.The un sung half.The other half u know very well.If u had to choose someone to be the other half, this is who ud pick. It doesn’t matter if that’s who ud pick. U don’t get a say in it. neither do I and neither does he. When u know u are the one,u know no one else is coming,and u know u have no choice at all in doing what u have to.it is Gods will,that I am reborn on the anniver sary of an event, that sickened him to the core. On my big brothers birthday. He died for just 2 ½ minutes. Jesus 2000 years ago did that. what do you reckon my chances are? How do I know dads god above, because he visits me in my dreams, and he guides me in the constant de ja vu I see everyday.I know Im the one.I know gods almighty supreme power,I know his blessings,rewards, and I know his punishments. The worst punishment of all,is ignorance.The first sin.When we ignore the sufferings of our neighbours, that is when things go downhill. Ur rewards in heaven are coming early,in this life if u help me get us all there.I need the church to know I need to be know on that date.God punishes this world in the worst way of all.he takes jesus out of this world himself.Theres no greater fear in all of Christendom.That jesus should slip by, when he has told u repeatedly. Both Christian churchs in my parish have been told. God saw to it the world had 2000 years of suffering. when jesus went off to that other place, he took over the role of god. He punished u. how much suffering do u think God will inflict on this world if the same thing happens again?  as jesus was prophesized,so was armageddon. With this deal, its one or the other.Ur church superiors will be in the same heavens u will be in.and accordingly,u could get an eternity of suffering lives, one after another. Like the blokes that crucified jesus last time. my crucifixtion today,is seeing all this suffering,that I know I can end.Its not been for lack of tryin.Ive been telling the ignorant bastards for 2 fcukin years.jesus will return and use only pure church type language. Like fcuk he will. When people need telling, they listen up,or they get a tongue lashin.Ill use clean language when peoeple are doin as theyre told. I need to get this place sorted before I go, for ur sakes. U imagine ur worst nightmare,that’s what u get.Imagine ur greatest fantasy, that’s coming true, whatever it is. when jesus returns, the news is all good. when jesus returns,hes the spokesman of god.He has all the answers to sort everything out.who is there to questio n me, when I have written a book far greater than the work of 40 guessers.The level of intelligence I have, is the one that’s needed. That’s why everyone has to listen up. the urgency in my life, is that my front row of my bottom teeth,have been working slowly loose these last few months.Theyre about to come out. all at once.My mouth will cave in basically. Can u imagine that kind of pain. I can because im staring it right in the face.im ready to laugh,when its all sorted. How can jesus present himself to the world, hosting the greatest celebration for 2000 years. one that never ends.And sid needs a vet urgently aswell.Thats also a massively import ant urgency.Hes the dog who helps the son of god bring football home.the infection in his back leg needs looking at very very soon.If anythin should happen to him also,I dredd to think what happens on the world stage for that.  when u’ve read this book, u`ll know all about the mysterious ways in which he works.This coupled with david beckhams my side,make up the 1^st chapter of the next testament. When the son of god returns, he brings with him the next bible. This book u read again and again. it fills u with joy more and more everytime u read it. I need my help to come for me. my other half soul has everything I need. This may come as a shock to him. he`ll be fine in a day or two. Once hes met me hes over the moon. Hes just inherited a football club. His own team. And a book that’s goin to bend his head, like he bends ours, by how he bends a football. he has the chance to meet himself on the street.That’s whao I am basically.The dirty matchin half whos had to play out here.a true life pince & the pauper.Whatever help he gives me,its nothin at all,to what I can do for him,and every single person on earth.Both alive and passed. When we laugh out loud down here, they all laugh out loud up there. just add music to this book where ive stuck them in,and my dads name everytime you laugh out loud. like you do already. When I took hold of dads hand, it was 8.52, he passed away at 9.03. the saddest event in history, when told in full. A story that will have a massive impact on you. it fills you with such a sadness, the only way back is to keep goin forward. At just after 9.15, I made 2 phone calls. To tell those I needed to tell, my dad had just passed away. All those times matched up with the times those 4 planes came down. I know because I wrote the times in my diary. my dad sees through my eyes. he read it as I wrote it. that is the true power of god. He sees everything, through the eyes of everything. Those strikes on that day, god allowed it to happen. That was to show me hes behind it all. to show me I am the one to end all those terrible atrocities for ever. you take gange off the streets for good somehow, those streets will see a lot of bloodshed. Gange stops people kickin off. when its legal to grow you own, dealers go out of business, happily. All those stronger dirty drugs just fade away. It inspires people. It inspired Bob Marley in the same way it does me. a 2000 year memory, don’t let anyone sell you short. Don’t knock It till you’ve tried it. if you eat apples, drink tea, or coffee, don’t be a hypocrit. My big bro died fetchin it. who has the right to tell him no. when he has gods permission to grow it. the bush admin need to be doin exactly that. that’s also a wake up to the world. announcing its legal, to the world, is exactly what is needed to get everyones attention. Gange is the soup ladle of the mind. Write an auto biography, then smoke some gange, and then write it again. you will be amazed at how much more you can add to it. the more you write, the more your kids, their kids and their kids etc, will have as much knowledge of who they are. It gives everyone a pride in who they are. It encourages kids to learn to read for a start. it also gives our kids a greater pride in who they are, makin them better people. The perfect places to grow gange, is in prison. Theyre certainly secure enough. When you turn the world on its head, these are the heaven solutions needed. Filling the world with joy is paramount. We don’t have anything to worry about in space.

The other day I had to laugh, bunny from 21 went on a bit of a strop. Josh next door had hit his daughter. He shot off round the school to get hold of him. an 8 year old. I didn’t find that funny at all. when teresa came out to run round the school after him, she said as she was goin up the path, “I aint even got no knickers on or ote” . the vicar doesn’t live in this world, with the problems we all face from day to day. I can sort out everyones problems on billo, its their street too, that brings football home.

Try to imagine the most inaccessible food Sid my dog could eat. Seaweed. He`s even ate that. my granddad Sid used to give us octopus and conger eel. Im sure that doesn’t mean a thing in all this.im sure it will eventually. I just thought id stick it in in case someone sees where that cropped up in the bible.

Today October 7^th 2004, I met my new doctor. He came round the house with chris clempson my psychiatrist. He sat quietly listen to chris askin me questions. He raised the issue of lisa havin reported it to the police, that she`d read a copy of my book, and she was unhappy. It threw me a bit that she got the coppers involved. What a joke that is. you write a book that tells someone theyre about to inherit the freedom of the world, and they ring the coppers on you. just like the vic at st lukes did. these anstey chapel girls are like the chapel lads this end. they shit themselves for all the wrong reasons. What lisa doesn’t realise, is that the photos I gave the kdis last time I saw them, are the last 2 photos ever taken. Id say that makes em the most valuable pictures ever taken. The last images of jesus Christ today, while he`s still in this world. I don’t want any more upset with lisa at all. I want to say sorry for all the trouble. Then id like her to help add to it. she can make it loads better. Chris asked me the usual questions, do I feel like harming anyone etc. lisa in particular. I told them that if lisa read something that upset her, it was only the truth comin out. she had plenty of reason to be upset at it. who would want their kids to find out, theyd tried their very best to drive the other parent to suicide. The truth only hurts for a while. I also pointed out,it wasn’t me who did the hittin in our relationship.That made it all the more insulting, that she labels me a danger. What she`s done mentally to those kids of ours, im goin to undo in one foul swoop.This book takes away all the painful memories she`s instilled in them by putting me down constantly. Everything I did with the kids in mams backyard, all those great memories I gave them, she`s took them all away. Now im bringin em all back. if she doesnt care about our kids, maybe the world will. Maybe it will take the world to make her see, that im the father of the trinity in the here and now. God wants the trinity re uniting more than once a month at the trinity contact centre, at the top of king street. Ironically, when I walk out of that building once a month, I look left to cross the road. I can see the place where it all first began, exactly one year after grandma died. Jokers nightclub. How ironic, all these years later, we should come to this. we had a lot of great times together. the best times probably. When the world was on our side, we were good together. we made each other laugh. She was a trainee psychiatric nurse and I was a rapper. She always told me I was so complex. She didn’t even scratch the surface. She can now. when we wee out in the car once, I sang colour me badds “all for love.” She certainly coloured me badd. She was telling my ex work mates and friends what a dump our house was. her trainin not only told her how to help people, it taught her all the things she shouldn’t do an say logically.that rule book went out the window very early on.Granddad coloured me badd 2 days after he died.I wore a black eye to his funeral. The ako`s Real Family Crest. The one I found online had three black birds and a flash of lightenin through it. I see three blackbirds sittin on the cross of st paddies most mornins.The lightenin wasn’t runnin thru it tho. The lightenin hit the road outside a few weeks ago. id say that’s a sign of the bad times ahed. I delievered a copy of my book to st patricks that day. 

Me an stu mac were swimming in the river in abbey park one day. some berk dived off the bridge and hit the bottom. He floated back up, and was pulled out. when they laid him down on the path, he had a square flap of skin hanging from his head. Like lees when he broke his neck. It turns out that adam was there an saw the whole thing as well. small world eh.

Gaz Harrison, me, his sister and a cousin were up on the park in Beaumont leys one day. where I took a kickin at 16, and where lee had his fall. I was maybe 12 or 13. gaz`s sis was about 7,her cousin was about the same.As we were sittin on the swings, some grebbo looking bloke came up to us. A big over weight bloke of about 30-35, dressed in a denim jacket. Long dark curly hair. He asked if we knew where the shops were an could we show him.straight away the alarm bells started ringin. I told him there was a shop back up lommond crescent. He said he wasn’t goin that way,an wanted to know if there was one the other way. Through all the trees in the woods. He pulled out a hundful of 50 pence pieces, telling us hed pay us all that money. gaz told me after he wanted to go for it. you`ll find this hard to believe, but as he stood there askin us to go with him,he was holdin a knife with the blade out.a serated edged silver one. I managed to get the 2 girls an gaz back to their aunts house.His mam marie had her doubts about it all. she thought we were lyin at first. the coppers drove me all over the park looking for him. that was pretty cool at the time. in a police car an I aint done ote wrong. Apparently a bloke fitting that description sexually assaulted some woman on abbey park bridge later that day. these monsters are more in abundance today an it will only get worse.They need to know the full extent of what theyre doin.When they know their soul is in immortal danger,they all stop

Lauren / Loz when Lauren was a bit younger, I picked her and the twins up, and she asked me if id call her loz. I told her I wanted to call her by her full proper name. for 2 reasons really. The first was because we named her after my dad. to me she means more than he did. And thats sayin something. The second reason, is because my best mate at work, was called loz. With the chats we have at work, I don’t want to be callin her the same name as him. he`d be talking about shaggin an stuff, how could I call her that. Lauren will aways be Lauren to me.  

Theyre all creative like me in one way or another. Lauren loves designing clothes. She can have them made now. always encourage creativity. It stimulates kids. Joels forever designin new weapons. At the trinity contact centre the other month, he said, “dad, what weapon would you choose if you could have any?”. We were playin lord of the rings top trumps at the time, so I said,” ooh I dunno mate, I guess id have to go for a long bow.” Tuh, god da, that’s pants, id pick an atomic bomb”. How can you win. George likes readin. Like I did. The best stimulation goin. A good book. She also likes to imitate people. Like I use to.  lisa calls her a voice genius. I hope lisa`s grinning her **** off. she`s about to inherit the earth with them. Basically, she can do what the hell she wants, so long as she tells her side of the story. Her auto biography, is her fortune too. We all write our way out of the shi*. The fightins over.

I remember as a kid, we used to play on the rallybank a lot. The sides sloped up either side of where the track used to be. a favourite place to knock about. I was about 5 i think. We used to sprint down one side and up the other. There were a few tracks worn out like big stiches across the track. We used to race each other. At the bottom of one of em, was where the abbey rise kids had had a bonfire. My body was movin too fast for my feet to keep up.basically, I dived headfirst into the ashes. Mattress springs and bike wheels were always in em somewhere. My bottom teeth went thru my lip. It was at the back of daz edens house. His mam patched me up. Ive still got all those scars inside my lip. If id showed any of the birds, they wouldn’t have kissed me. our marks molly had a nasty accident as well. her bottom teeth went thru her lip if I got the story right. if I went hospital with it, like mark did wi molly, we`d be able to tell if it happened on the same date in the year. down our end of the rally, the sides sloped down. we used to nick all the cardboard boxes and hurtle down the sides of em. our mark would hold the box up like a surfer, and run and dive off the top. everyone else just slid over the edge with the box on the ground. When mark hit the ground, he was already at full speed. There was a gravel carparl at the bottom. One day mark managed to climb the 30 foot slope back up to us. When he turned round, billy baizley spotted blood all over marks back. he landed on a broken milk bottle. A gash so deep he needed 12 stiches inside and 12 out. that’s how he got the name scarback akiens off dad. them factories were as big an enigma to me growin up, as the big house in birstall were. They all had to be checked out proper. When I was 5, I went down the old woodyard bit at the back of kingsway with gaz marshall. He threw a slate into the wind an it came back splittin my head open. The scar I have is mirrored on georgias forehead. She got hers by fallin at the top of our steps. I joked with lisa down the royal, she did it on purpose cos man utd were playin. George is a blue army fan. Like me now. lisa got the hump about it. when I was about her age at the time, I went sprintin down our steps. Again, I was movin too fast for the kippers, I dived onto the pebbled concrete step at the bottom. That got me a scar between my eyes, just like the scar leo de caprio has one. ive grown up to have the same eyes he has in that film. I did a few years ago anyway. the looks that have faded, it doesn’t really matter if they don’t come back. it`d be nice though. Maybe the heavens I bring will have the help I need. The more help I get,the longer I live, the more help i can be. ii have a head full of secrets I don’t want to take with me. youd have had my family helping me for the last 2 years as well. this book by now, would be thousand of volumes long. And growin all the time. the biggest database would have all of them, accessible free online. You pick a character in our families past or present, you learn all about them all. each has to be encouraged to tell their chapter.Their part of the story is another piece of the jigsaw, of the family that bought jesus down off the cross. Bribery will obviously work with my lot. None of us have ever really had any money. flash the cash, we`ll dish the dirt. not since great granddads business left his control, did our lot have any kind of wealth. From that point on, my line have always had it mega tough. Like we`re either jinxed, cursed, or blessed.In light of this, the latter it seems is what we really are. Unsung misunder stood gentlemen, not always gentlemen. An honest family. What you see is what you get. Gods family is the one you shouldn’t ever cross. Help us help you. it aint like the akiens are aliens, we just seem to get that kind of treatment. Like beckham gets. I see shit happenin to people and their families behind em, when they cross us. Together we can stop god punishin those people, by alertin em of what will happen to em.

When I was doin up the backyard in 2001, I got the kids as involved as I could. They saw me build the castle for them bit by bit. I jigged the side up at work to make sure it was perfectly square. I laid it all out flat in the carpark at work. the uprights were stickin out the boot by about 8 foot. Lee helped me get them in the ground,mark dug a couple of the holes.Other than that I did it all on me own. I wanted to to be honest.the neighbours settled on callin it the gallows. That summer was the summer every kid wishes they had in their childhood.I gave them a happiness here their mum resented. When I took them home they all had long faces. They wanted to stay at mine for good. I wish they could be here for good. I had them overnight on Saturdays, and saw them Tuesdays an Thursdays after work. her way of thinking was, its easy to keep the kids happy for only a short period of time. I was spoilin em in her eyes. most dinnertimes saw me cookin 3 different dinners. If I wanted to give my kids that happiness, it is because I only think of their happiness.This past 2 years not speakin to lisa, its all been for nothing.The twins usually slept in my bed wi me an Lauren slept wi grandma.sometimes Lauren slept in here with all of us. Some nights Georgia would wake up, and id sit her on my knee looking up at the stars. Id tell her all about her family.I didn’t sleep that much when the kids were here.there was too much fidgitin goin on.They were very very special moments in my life. I told Georgia about her granddad LOL. I told her how special he was,and that he`s in heaven now.like a star shinin brightly up there in the night sky.Im sure all those memories have just about been wiped out.george remembers sittin lookin out the window.It was one of the first things I asked her.the first time I saw the kids I couldnt help myself but cry.As strong as I am mentally,it was just too much to keep in.for me to not see them for close to 2yrs,I only did what came naturally. As always.They were very apprehensive that first meetin.The twins came back to me almost straight away.Lauren was a bit more reserved. How much had her mum said to her. how savage had she been.Knowin how vicous lisa can be,I didn’t know what to expect. From that first meetin all those months ago,theyre all back with me again now.they know il never turn my back on them.I never have.Everyone else has been closin doors on me. if people had sat me down an talked to me when I asked for their help,my kids would only have missed me for a few weeks.Their sadness will echo out across this world, if my work doesnt begin before I leave.This world will find out what Armageddon is all about. that will only stop when my work has started. Ill see it through the eyes of my kids.

 In the rack, & on the rack. When the cane got delivered, we all helped unload. Except dave. The cane came in bales, 14+ ft long. Sometimes 180 bales Like wooden carpets. Very heavy an flexible too.Which made them harder to carry.I always got the hardest job. in the rack. I had to climb up in the racks and help drag the bales in as they lifted them up to me. your hands got battered, scraping your knuckles along the wall. Come the end of it,you felt like youd ran a marathon,apelike.Then it was back to Rappin, Feelin fcuked but full of energy for it. the lads all working together soon got the job done.One day I was partnered wi the gaffer. The first few in each rack we could walk them in. as they got higher, I had to climb up to drag them in. a very dirty job,no one else wanted. this day the gaffer walked me into the wrong rack, goin too fast.You virtually jogged in an out wi that tight old get.I told him as I was stood on some of the bales about 3 or 4 feet high.he jus dragged me back off the bales.As my fett hit the floor I felt a shocking pain shoot across the middle of my back. That never went in the accident book either. I still feel that same pain after all these years. another time, we were unloadin the bales in the car park. The balesd all had long lengths that stuck out the end. Giles the stupid bastard was draggin em off with me.he just lobbed it on the floor without lettin me know he was.the whiplash you get off one of those,imagine being six inchs tall, and you get whipped across your chest and face with a fishing cane. Like a baseball bat hitting me with a fair bit of velocity. I didn’t feel a thing. I couldn’t believe it.if you blinked you missed it. it came that fast. You heard the fcuker. It only just touched my face. I took the impact on the chest, and got my head back just in time. I loved it when the cane came.There were a couple of deliveries I missd cos I had time off that day. they started sayin I shirked out of it. not at all. we had some right laffs.The shi*house of a smoke room is where I spent probably, 5000 hours in, smoking an sortin out my wage book. bein on piece work, I had to write down everything I did.It was like my bible at kingsway.This is it out of kgsway. That smoke room had some lovely wall paper up. me an Norvo used to sit admiring it all. Jan used to clean the bog once in a blue moon an it upset her. she had the gaffer take em all down.all them birds.I put geri halliwell ones up to piss Dave off. after jan had stopped cleanin the bog altogether. They should still be up. If you want to see a dirty toilet, you fcukin go in there. It aint been cleaned since she stopped about 7 years ago. maybe she should be cleanin the bog in the blue moon.Our lindas pub.When steve said he saw my mam wanderin pissed aimle ssly,he bullshitted the whole thing.He should clean the bastard,along wi Rappin all them badly made 726s in natural Rappin.The last couple of years saw plenty of hardship. However good beckham had it,I had the opposite.There were count less days I workd all day on an empty stomach.Loz will tell you that.they knew an they let me work all day.dave said I should shut up about my problms cause they bring ever1 down,maybe he should clean the ladies.Just the once maybe.

I love my mam so much. I tell her as well. I know how much it means to her. I always make her a cuppa in bed when I can.If im up first and I hear her waking up.It doesn’t make me a mummies boy for still bein here. I see the life she has without me here. she has gone through so much with me these last few years, this is all I can do to say sorry for it all. she worries about me so much since I came out of hospital. Those that matter, know im ok. Those that don’t, don’t matter. With the exception of lisa. she`ll know im ok again.she`ll want me to be ok again.for the kids sake. Hopefully.

My big bro an I don’t always see eye to eye with each other. It aint a good idea that we fall out. if that were to happen, it could last forever. That’s in our nature. Like John and Samuel akiens did early last century on Victoria park. I bite my lip even when I know I am 110% right. because the last thing I want, is to fall out with anyone. let alone the bloke who died and got back up 2 ½ minutes later. As much as I love my bro`s, it don’t change the fact they can be idiots at times. Just like I can be.  What does me with my bro, he cant see the Real world like I can. Any debate we have, lee gets all shirty when he runs out of answers, or he cant understand it all. then he tells me we should change the subject before it turns into an argument. That leaves me with only having half my say. Its like my opinion doesn’t count for anything. its all too east to say im mad. That aint fair at all. just because you don’t understand something, that makes it alien to you. Im not an alien. Im an akiens. with an akiens intelligence. My cousins all look at me with an uncomfortable look about them. All the rumours goin through the family, I can live with. What does piss me off, is that none of them have been bothered to come and see me, to see if im ok. When corrin had a stroke, all three of us lads went to see how she was. to be in glenfields mental unit, and you have a cousin that works in that hospital, that pissed me off quite a bit that she didn’t visit me. the cousin who asked me if I had what granddad had. If sh`ed have been to see me, id have told her what it is. I get my full say in the first book ive wrote.As im writin this on lees birthday, September 11^th, he still hasn’t read the first one yet. He doesn’t know about it, like all the family. I had to do this by myself, and give it to them when its all Rapped up. Its that simple. I had no choice at all.

Outwardly, my dad was just a normal everyday bloke. He  went work, he went down the club for a few pints with his mates like most blokes do. You`d walk past him in the street not knowing just who he really was. like people do with me today. dad had to climb chimneys, I have to climb up on the world stage. First of all the akiens.The belgrave working mens club was like dads second home. Saturday and Sunday dinnertimes he was always in there. there were lots of things dad got wrong in life. there were far more things he got right though. Namely me. I am his greatest achievement. He did everything perfectly in preparing me. the mistakes dad made, I learnt from them, and didn’t repeat them. My mistakes have been paid for. I don’t suppose anyone in belgrave worko`s knew who dad was. he kept it to himself all those years. he had to.If he`d have told anyone, he could have lived the life of riley. His life spent preparing me and the family,the role dad had to do.It was never his to to be the one to tell our story to the world.we tell it as a family best

A few times ive been in dodgy situations. A few blokes surroundin me. kelv at Topps always told us to go for the big un if we got into any shit on the road. that’s cherry pickin. When them 40 or so black lads came round our house, dad told us to just get in the middle of em and work your way out. he had a crow bar in each hand. Id still be at his shoulder. If he caught any of us, it would’ve bounced off. from that time, when I found myself surrounded, I had em figured out ready. who to hit where in what order. fat boys an beer breathes get the body blows,with the self belief I have in my ability, already proven, I could afford to look a coward.

When dad was upstairs, laying on his death bed, me and terri were downstairs one day.crying into each others shoulders.We could hear dad upstairs laughing. Really laughing. It made it worse. That was when I realised just how fearless my dad was. He wasnt just being brave for our sakes, it was in his make up. like it is mine. My last wish is that I get the chance to go out laughin big time. I know dads waitin, wherever that is. death coming at an akiens steeplejack that slowly, it gave dad time to prepare me.his readiness to meet his maker laughin out loud, he took his name with him. hes makin them laugh out loud, all them in all our past. help me create the reflection down here. One special place I loved to visit, is a place where a cousin of mine was born on Febuary 29^th. The place with a well under the kitchen floor. A Real fire burned in this cosy little cottage. Low ceilings and warm winter nights talking an tokin. A place where you could get Real conversation. The truth. Sometimes brutally honest. One of those people has an outstandin charge hangin over them. For smoking a spliff in the car. How petty is that,when the person involved wasn’t drivin.Id drop them charges. This person grew gange for me for years. not for me,I bought the odd bag when I was flush. The amount of crops they had, over 2 dozen, without gettin caught. That tells me they made it this far for a very good reason.God didn’t want them punished for giving me my best reading glasses. Very intelligent people, who I learned a lot from.. More so than any intellect ive seen on the telly.Their know ledge goes un appreciated. They don’t have stress in their lives. Because of this poxy little charge, they disbanded all their stuff. They got away with it for one very good reason. You couldn’t find them, let alone find them guilty, if they don’t do it anymore. The judge who decides he is above me in punishing them, my dads behind him.waitin to start givin him hell. Nightmares, illness`s, mental torture. If I were a judge, id say, “ok, if this bloke says its ok to grow gange, im ok with it. it’s the soup ladel of the mind, the key to our past life and beyond, it opens up the percentage of the brain that sits unused.If these are the true hidden qualities of cannabis, im ok to say its legal. Jesus found his way back through smoking the stuff. God gives his permission to end the legislation / legalisation dilemna. In doing so, he says it ends all the dirty drugs, then you’ve got to give the boke a chance to be heard. I suggest we take a time out, adjurn it all until the jury has read this account of one mans life. and how valuable cannabis is to this person in question”we`ll throw that case out,and bring this case in. to prove in a court of law, that jesus is alive and well living in Leicester today.or, half of jesus living in Leicester today. on stocking farm. The estate no ones heard of. Born in dummy town,belgrave today.is this book one half of the first chapter of the next testament ? lets let the jury decide.” Id say that judge gets a place in heaven, and his family all find one here as well. The judge who stepped down to make way for a higher purpsose.The one true king who decides who is accou ntable for what.Everyday people who live in the real world. all races creeds and ages.A jury as big as the world.lock me an the dog up in Leicester city football clubs ground.The walkers stadium.then let beckham join me there for a kick ab out.just me,him an sid.Ill go over the plan that takes over the world,with a foot ball and a handshake. everything after that, is all a bonus. With the help I need, I can bring it all home, and make it look every bit as good as Dad would have wanted. as uncle Terry would want to see, as all my aunts and family would.

Me,Mam an Lee got a taxi up to gilrose for silvs funeral.Deb was the only one who had any time for me. when she got out the car, she came straight over to hug me. she used to babysit us as kids. I hope I comforted her, with what I said. Debs is my fave becks.She came home to silvs a couple of years ago.we used to sneak out for a smoke. As a kid when she babysat us,I remember tellin her I wouldn’t ever smoke.I rememb er her reply. “yeah I said that as well”. It was good to meet clint. A big lad who did more than my god bro did all day. he spoke to me. he knew my name. that meant a lot to hear that. hes got fire, I saw that. it cheered me up to know hes looking after his mam.  Joyce spoke, but steve (tom) didn’t. I left a mssge on rods answer machine askin when the funeral was.I mentioned it to him, and he told me he couldn’t be arsed to reply. If he hadn’t got me fightin as a kid, my life wouldn’t have been half as bad. an he couldn’t be arsed. Ok so it was his mams funeral, but theres no excuse for rude ness. I wasnt rude like that to anyone at my dads funeral.The vicar who led the service for my godmother, was father phillip from st lukes stocking farm. As we stood outside waitin to go in, he ased who we were to the family.I told him,”im the god son” I told him that 2 years ago.A lovely service,with no hymns.The song that played her out, was tears of a clown. A perfect song for silv. She had the same humour dad had. The psalm that was read out in the east chapel, was psalm 23. the line that hit me most, was,“as I walk through the valley of death”.It was good to see brit again.a good bloke really,who has more under standing of jesus`s life, than he does the real world. not his fault at all. it was his dads. The wake was held at the Beaumont leys pub.I saw a few in there that I know.one person pissed me off. an ex billo resident, from no.17.shagwell. I went over to say hello, and she had the arse. Because im adams mate, and he filled one of her mates in. how bastard childish is that.she reckoned id only sat next to her to pump her. she should be so fcukin lucky. The old bag of spuds. Her last words were,“are u still fuckin here?”Yes I am love,an ill b here long after you.minger.When we came out, the pub virtually come out behind us. She attacked adam. Like im gonna get involved with a woman involved.She got the blokes goin like that other one did.Aisha or wot ever her name was.Dad never drank in that pub.He had em all down as wankers.When we moved in back in 1972,dad took the lads out who helped him move in. they went over the bowie. They dint get the rece ption youd get in belgrave.Dirty looks and snide comme nts.Like any pub,theres good uns an bad uns.apparently,her bloke wayne mat lock,is related to th akiens. andys mate,a fellow Chelsea fan. he stood chattin about dogs,like a good un.He didnt judge me for bein mates wi adam.How the fight came about ,was typical in todays world. women shoutin the odds,getting blokes fightin, then they walk away.Leavin the blokes either battered or nicked They fuel everything.They went on about racism and nf.Her being half cast, whos bein racist bringin that up?we all have non white mates. The race card is played all the time. when ever it suits, from what Ive seen. Theres Good n bad in every race. Matlocks a good un. Andy H told me about a time when I had a nuisance pissin me an mam off. he said “he hadn’t better be,cos im family”It cheered me up.neither of us know how we are related. I asked him once.Dad told me we were.He told me that for a reason.There was at least one good un in there.I guess hes our man on the inside.An he never knew the story he sat on as well.His lifestory is like andy hunters.Hes worth a mint now writin his lifestory

The saint who sorts my toke on tic,his bird comes with him sumtimes.He was buildin a spliff while I sat choppsin to her.he took a while,an she let him know when he came back out.“where u bin she said,hes told me ½  his life story waitin for you”I was only bein polite.In 5 mins,I cant tell you a millionth of my life story.If she remembers what I told her,she can flog it to a newspaper or magazine.Everyone who knows us can

When Ron got lifted by the coppers,a pc England was involved.Ron took a beating off them.Somethin that happens quite a lot.He never said ote about presin charges.his sort wont.He takes it like a man. he takes it as routine. He laughed about it.said he lookd like a zebra.they Truncheoned him.

Steve danno used to make us laugh. What a twat he really is. when he took his missus to court, or vice versa, his solicitors were so impressed with how he took the stand, they offered him a job. fcuk me they must be a lousy firm if they need to recruit idiots like him. id love to know if they really did offer him a job. his ego writes cheques, a dogsbody cashes. Brrrrian. Dumb an DumbER

When things started to slow down for me at kingsway, I had to use my initiative to make up for it. makin mirrors was something id done for years anyway. loads of shops bought off me. some shops still have a few left. Shepherds the bathroom place on woodgate has some. I seen em wheni walked past to deliver a copy of my first book at Leicester cathederal. 6^th oct 04. I imagine with publication of that first book, those mirrors may just have new interest. Im sure he could ask whatever he wanted for them. Everyone of them has had the face of jesus Christ today in em. when I told him theyd sell like hot cakes, I wasn’t jokin. I just didn’t say when theyd be sellin like hot cakes. Theres shops all over Leicester, hinkley, rutland,ashby, melton, loughboro, loads of places bought em. my range of colours and fresh new styles appealed to the shops. I even made them house shaped. Premier cane at melton had those. I doubt they still have them. They would have appealed to anyone. the gaffer always said there was no market for mirrors these days. Only because he lacked the vision I had. I created a market for them, by goin back to basics. Knockin on doors. When I told the mother in law (almost) Linda, I was goin door to door, she was most upset. Like I was a slur on the jordans. Mick manship looked down on me when I told him I was deliverin pizza`s to pay for Greece. Oh dear, what a shame” he said. Whats there to be ashamed about goin out and tryin. Doin things your own way. I can never be knocked for not bein adventurous and daring. Makin mirrors was never goin to get me rich quick, so I came up with another idea. Bear in mind, I didn’t know I was jesus then. I did know Id use the money to finance the book though. Being an estate kid, this side of the tracks from the big houses, I knew I had to think like those rich people in birstall, to achieve their success. But I wanted to go about it in my own way. How could I get rich like them, from their pockets. I came up with an idea to make fitted bedrooms, but with differences. A service no one else was offering, and maybe they still aren’t. the cost to make a bedroom suite fitted, would be around the 200 mark.all hand made, in my own style. With the skills I picked up at kingsway, I could easily spray it so it’s a darker colour one side fading into another at the other end. like a rainbow. In your choice of colour. That would be unusual enough but then I heard about a film. Panic room. if the rooms were big enough, you could hide a long room in the back. fire safety and an alternative escape route has all been planned as well. by stickin a window in the extra small room. planning permission was something I never got round to looking into.  If I got a short film of me speaking about the pitfalls of home security, on dvd, I could just deliver those disks,offering each their money back if they bring in 2 orders. How I saw it, was if you frighten these rich people just a bit, they rap themselves in as much security as they can. Not to mention the value that puts on the house. The sale-ability goes up. if someone broke into my house, id prefer for them to believe the house was empty. The things that happen to people in their own homes, makes me feel like crying. That there are people in this world prepared to behave like animals, for money. and politics as well for that matter. Money, politics and religion. All give us headaches we can do without. You could have closed ciruit in there, however far theyd want to go. Im sure 1 out of every 10 would be interested. Portaying the right image is all important. Body language will help sell the product. The body language of george w bush wasn’t up to much in that first debate. It looked to me like kerry won it. whichever one legalises the administration of bush, is the one that gets my vote.

when he came out of prison, he hung a for sale sign on his cell door. 4 ½ million. The cell that kept jesus`s friend locked up in, is easily worth that now.  

a few words of wisdom to the wise. a few lines and phrases very possibly from the bible. i wouldnt kno never readin one.

words the vicars swear by, but dont really read it at all. their ignorance to my constant calls for help in telling the world i am returned. the person this world has waited for, for 2000 years. now hes back, no one wants to believe it. the happiest news this world could have. how could it ever be this difficult for the second coming of christ to find his way back. god will find the way, and he will guide his son through it, like hes guiding him thru the valley of death. jesus the king of kings returned, walks alone thru that valley, such is his faith in both god, and himself. he fears nothing on , in , abovr or under this world. his father our lord God, he has everything covered. his journey thru that valley, comes to an end, only when the 2 half souls of christ the king come back together finally.

funny how things go full circle. When I was deliverin pizzas, one of my regulars, were at glenfield hospital. The woman on the reception desk, was the woman who let me use her pc to print off the very first chapters of my fcukin side. she`s one of the witness`s that will verify a bit of what ive wrote. Everyone I know is a witness. All of em verify a bit. From their submissions, you can sort out how much bull ive stuck in. very very little. If its funny and untrue, its because it serves a purpose. Delboys poetic license.

Some prick round treesas next door, amandas “bloke” took the piss out of my hands. They were talking about the size of peoples hands and fingers. I dunno his name, it aint worth rememberin. He laughed out loud as he said “your fingers look like beansprouts.”  “yeah, your head looks like a nob.” cheeky cunt. These 2 hands are the 2 that get this fcukin world back on track, runnin as god wanted it. my skinny legs don’t look like they can hold me up proper, let alone hold the weight of the world on em.

Karl Orchard of the alpha group, his family live at 7 babingley drive. The house my older mate lived in. john bagnall. I contacted karl there by delivering a copy to his families home. I requested his help in asking all his friends in the alpha group to help me. helping to sort out how best we go about deliverin them all. hes perfectly positioned to do that. he`s a postman, like wheeler. Both perfectly sorted to sort out deliverin thousands of envelopes to everywhere in Leicester. Wheelers the postie that delivers the good news to the blue army, karl is the postie who delivers it to the church of England, thru the alpha group. It all began with an Orchard.

Granddad told me about his life growin up with his family. They had a long table where they all sat and ate together. like the waltons, but with teeth. If jesus is john boy, that’s who I am in our lot. But with form. Coming from our family, im infinitely better than john boy in todays world. they created me, both genetically, and mentally. Great granddad was a very strict bloke. If great grandma asked him to do something, if he said “in a minute mam”, he woke up a few hours later. Great granddad didn’t have his wife ever take disrespect. When they worked away, up and down the country, they fought in the boxing booths. Great granddad bare knuckle,  granddad wore gloves. Very harsh lives. The worst you could imagine. If you didn’t have what it takes. They did. They had a self belief inherent through pride in our name. the work we did gave us a fire inside us. A rage. Your first climb was made at 5 years old. While fear isn’t against you yet. We overcame it, before it became a fear. One of the most common fears we have, is a fear of heights. It goes against the grain. Human nature instills a fear of heights. Because you look down on the world below you, as god would. If you climb your way up in life, in your passing you earn your place at his table. My climb was down here on the ground. I know I could’ve followed in my dads footsteps and climbed chimneys with him, because I know, I would follow my dad anywhere. Just like all of us. However harsh great granddad was, he loved his family dearly. If you took it upon your self to give one of us a slap, he gave you a face like a lump of raw liver. That’s if he didn’t decide to just bomb you out. when he bombed you, your head almost burst. Eyes bleeding, nose, ears, and both eyes. like he did with three men in pubs in belgrave. For disrespecting him. in his old fashioned way, he walked like a king, wherever he went. He was a very respected man. head of the freemasons. The sort who took orphans of the day on holidays to mablethorpe. I walk like a king, with my head held high wherever I go. Inspite of it all, I will never give in. turning back isn’t in our nature. We reach our finish line, whatever direction we go in. id like to take all the kids on holiday. Through that channel tunnel tho.  Hearing all these stories about my family growin up, the different generations. Ive always felt we were moving away from that savagery. Like we were being gradually diluted. Each generation not quite so ferocious as the next. When I look back at what I did as a kid growin up, I may have that all the wrong way round. Im the one that got called evil.  

Fred Dibnah How can u not like and respect the man. A Real Character
dad was never a fred dibnah fan. fred becoming a household name and making a comfortable living out of the job very probably made matters worse. dad was jealous of freds success. to him it was like all our good work over the years went un noticed. unsung as always. one day fred said something that upset my dad. he said occasionally he`d climb a chimney after a few pints in the pub at dinner. our philosophy was that drink waited until the job was done. dad wasnt so much knockin fred for climbing on beer, more that he could get men killed, who maybe did need the beer to get them up there. in the 1800`s, they mostly went up on opium.the akiens always went up on their own steam.we bought them down brick by brick,how they went up.for well over a 100 years.imagine takin one down brick by brick.look how much more harder it is,than burning them out or blowing them up.dad had a point.i wouldve loved to have met fred.i wanted to ask him if he kept any plans of the chimneys he pulled down.the buggers are goin back up. im sure freds up there wi my dad now pissin himself laughin, all them chimneys he pulled down are goin back up. if only we could find the plns for themall. ive got a very different use for them these days. and smoke bellowing out the tops aint part of it. those chimneys are perfect for the use i have for them. growin cannabis. if you want to feel that high, then you grow it up there, and you feel the high ethe akiens felt for all those years. you earn the right to smoke it by climbing your way up for it. theyl add so much colour to our cities, like a totem pole of life, that give off the sort of fumes god wants in this his world

One bird,I took in the bowie one night. A nice one. a bit posh, from a village outside Loughboro. I thought id take her there, because I didn’t want to drive. It couldn’t have gone any worse. First off, the barmaid had a blackeye. As we looked round the room, there were picture fame marks, where the pictures had been. The seats were all ripped an fallin apart.Bill turns up steamin.As he put his pint on th wobbly table,he stumbled into it.it covered the bird.If u were to ask that woman today,her worst date ever, she`d tell u all about that night.The relatonship didnt last much longer.Thankyou all at the bowie.U helped me get rid of a wrong un.The pub made me look dirty.Ce La Ve ;O). did me a favour. I remember as a kid, bein round silvs wi mam. Mam asked silv if she`d do her a favour. Silv was just bringin a tray of sausage rolls out the oven as mam said it. I thought a favour was a sausage roll for years. when I taxi-ied, I used to pick up a favour. Linsey favour from braunstone.The occasion arose and we became a physical item. I did her a favour, whilst at the same time as doin a favour for myself. Another state. A lovely one though. Gave me loads of laffs. One night she rang up out the blue at 4 in the mornin.She had a mate with her at the time, an was ringin cause she didn’t pull in town. Was there any chance I could go over. She was feelin horny, and she wanted the business. As luck should have it, probably the only time ever, I had a mate round an we were smoking spliffs til that late. How much of a result is that. the week her folks went away as well. She even paid the tenner taxi fair for us.Gaz walked back after about an hour. It was pretty clear his bird, wasnt goin to be his bird. Not even for the night.Not exactly an attractive bloke, but hes got a heart of gold. Takin on a kid that isn’t his. Admire the man. how many blokes would take on a baby,only months old.I stayed for the promise. She changed her mind at the night time, which was a huge tease. She was very good at that. I waited for breakfast, and saw the sun come up as she did. She told me it was wicked havin sex with me. on her 18^th birthday on march23^rd,she finished the night early to come round my house. To a 30yr old bloke,that was very flatterin.She was very tasty.An accident at work has gave her back problems.shame.the last I heard from her,she was jus catchin the internet bug. she lived just down the road from wheelers mam an dad. val an ive.I think I took the day off work that mornin.Some jobs have to take prec edence over ksways work.I had my own job to do working for the family on the side. in secrecy. Doin me 52 states. They had pretty much given up on me. they pulled the ladder up on me in importing the way they were. They did it all in secrecy from us tho. Every container something else was coming in, that we wouldn’t be making again. they needed me less an less, and behaved like most gaffers do when the workers ar surplus to requirements.They usually make you redundant. Steve danson had other ideas.He jus wanted to force me out.he and I had a very memorable conversation on the telephone.This was the beginning of Dec ,2001 id been off work with my fractured skull since Oct17^th.He wanted me back in work, because they absolutely hated the thought they were givin me somethin for nothin.52.20 Sick pay.All the unsociable hours I worked for them over the years.without my help then,they wouldnt have got where they have financially. Steve gave me an ultimatum.His actual words were, “I know you’ve had a bad time of it lately,and what I say might hurt you.im not bothered about that.i DON’T CARE. im just telling you how it is.you either come back now,or you take 6months off. youre goin to lose your house an everything.You come back and if we think your over doin it,we`ll send you home”who the fcuk this pri*k thinks hes talkin to,hes made a bit of a mistake.What he was sayin was,you either take six mnths off,at which time they pay me nothin cause they can terminate my employment because of the time I had off. they must have got their soli citor to check that one out. as for sendin me home if they think ive had enough, that’s bullsh*t as well. They wouldn’t do that if there was work. If they had a rush on, theyd let me work until 1.30 in the mornin. Which they did on one occasion. Steve gave me a lift home.when they were doin the road works for the bypass. There was a sign telling you about the road changes,an steve went sailin past it,down ginsill lane.Luckily, it was after the twat had dropped me off.he skidded sideways into a pile of mud,dentin all his drivers side.the door and wheel arch were damaged. That story 2day,he drove straight over th top,an ramped off it succesfuly.When he went out,40 mates all wanted to come along.If you seen him in action on the dance floor,youd kno exactly what I mean.The best way I can describe it,would be to tell it like this.imagine the Indian dance, with the arms raised by the side of your head,wobbling it from side to side with out movin your arms, and then stick that top half, on that bloke in the American werewolf in London. When he wakes up bo**ocko in the zoo.He grabs a balloon of a kid an scoots sheepishly sideways. Those two make up steves dancing skills.The laffs we had behind his back at ksway.It was very good for moral among the Lads.He kept the divide up between us and them.The one thing I can say about paul wheeler that I loved to see.He took the piss out of steve savagely to his face.to see steve squirm was a right laff.He came from the wrong side of braunstone.He knew not to fcuk wi the ones from the other side.they grew up in a diff rent world to us.I kno if I put my hands round my mams throat like he did,my dad wouldve broke every bone in each hand.Jus like these lads dads would.It takes a very different sort of shit bag to do some thin so low. I remember one day,he told me about an argument he had with his exmissus.Runaraound sue. He said“if she wants a war,ill give her a war she wont believe.”straight out of Rambo.Like george bush durin his war on terr orism and iraq. Not that im like ning the 2 in any way whatsoever. perish the thought.Steve loves power,money, himself. That’s his world. the one I want known all over the world,along with mine. If you know something about what hes been up to in the far east with that childlike fetish he has, then tell my family.They can tell the world. hes the example of everything bad in this world.  Digby might be the biggest dog in the world, but he aint big enough to bring football home like Sid is.

Granddad had an amazing way with animals.He was the akos answer to grizzly adams.When him an dad were workin on the big chimneys of the factories,now and then a wild stoat or ferret would be runnin loose in the boiler houses.Dad loved it when this happened.He enjoyed tellin us this story. He say to these big burly blokes in the boilersuits “ang on a minute,I know jus the man you need. He`d walk in and out with it in his hands. He took home all sorts of animals, to make them well again. he used to mend the broken wings of wounded birds he found.Hed feed them milky bread from a matchstick.Granddads love affair with all animals,wasnt extended to cats. The one creature granddad could not tolerate in his garden.Shittin in his vegetables and the flower plot he grew for grandma. when he saw a cat in his garden, he saw red. I remember him swingin a brush at one he caught. Luckily for the moggy, the head of the brush found the washin line. That really made granddad angry. It made everyone else piss themselves laughin. I remember as a kid climbing a tree full of thorns to rescue a kitten I saw. I got scratched up to hell bringing it down. mam found the owners, which cheesed me off no end. I wanted to keep it. a black one. I didn’t have granddads gift with animals, but I never hated cats. I wouldn’t have one personally, but neither have I ever hurt one. this sid akiens today doesnt hate cats.I made sure of it.Our lee got granddads gift with animals I have bought other animals home. ive looked after all sorts of creatures.In our front bedroom today, theres a scorpion. Im sure granddad would’ve loved it if someone offered him one of these to look after. I was expectin a spider to be honest. Initially I was disappointed. I was hoping to pick it up an check it out. im fcuked if im pickin that up tho. If I get stung in my hand, I wont be able to type this.I don’t have anythin to prove pickin the scorpion up.it makes common sense not to. its adams. If anyone picks it up, surely its adams job. id leave it be myself until it needs to be picked up. I stroked it first. adam aint yet. It sat still while I stroked his tail. I put myself right where it could have me. it looks evil. It aint tho. The bugs it eats crawl all over it for days. Im sure when their end comes, its quick and its out of the blue. It doesn’t kill for the hell of it.  

The Trotters had Watch, The Ako`s have a stamp. this ones got a Dirty Queen Victoria on it !! up fer grabs, 7m sound too much..? what about half what the becks have....? ill take a quid if he comes an pays it in person.

Dad always wondered if this stamp was worth anything.he found it in an attic he was converting years ago.a penny red.penny blacks are worth a fortune.this one alas is worthless.if it was worth ote,id have flogged it so i could buy up as much webspace as possible.for hostin the akiens website.imagine my surprise,to find Another Queen Victorias birthday on it.April 17th 1901.Fated Obviously, like all these pics.maybe it is worth summat after all.if Victoria Beckham wants to make me an offer,ill chuck in the whole story.in my own words.i need pickin up,an they have all the help i need,an i have all the help they will ever need.How much for a dirty queen Victoria`s penny red,well licked..? Full Service history thrown in.

When me an mick used to go out on the piss, I helped him do the paper rounds hungover next day. I dint want payin. I was deliverin the news for kings news.

When I saw the bloke beheaded on my mates pc, I just couldn’t believe my eyes. ive seen a lot of things but nothing as evil as that. whoever was there, I want the bastard who did it. just him. chain him like a dog, like Hannibal lecter, and bring him to belgrave. Bring em all to belgrave. Im sure we can set a night just for them.Let em keep their knives.I don’t need em.all I need is what great granddad needed. 2 knuckles, on one deadly right hand. Im jack the rapper. The ripper who doesn’t need knives. Just a nail file.

Watchin gladiator tonight on the telly, I thought about one of the fight scenes. Would I attempt takin on a tiger. The answer is very obviously no, not willingly. If it came at me out of the blue, then yeah, id take the fcuker on. Weather id lose or not you can leave to your imagination. When I watched jurrasic park  one at the pictures wi lisa, mick an sarah, I had the same thoughts about raptors. The psychology I grew up with, instinct takes over. Evolution got those creatures out the way before man came along. It doesn’t matter what you have in front of you. if the first time they see you, you rush the bastards showin it the face of pure evil. Their first impression will always have them on the backfoot. I would be the bloke that took that leap of faith. If they don’t shit it, your fcuked. You go out that way, you have your place in heaven, because god only wants those at his table with total self belief. That’s the vicars goin off to somewhere else. I dunno anything about that place. Only it aint nothing like what I promise to do here today, with this world. when you stupid bastards start listenin up an seeing this for what it is. the most honest book ever. when the son of god returns, he fears nothing. He risks nothing, he bares all, becaue he is fearless to everything down here. I have paid my price to god in how my body tells me. if im on the escalator up to dad, its because he`s seen me suffer enough at the hands of ignorant self proclaimed men of god. He calls me to him, in order that I punish those guilty of standing in the way of gods work, by any means I chose. And I have every means at my disposal. Every trick in the book, I have within my power from that next world. I will look down upon this world as god does today. should I not begin that walk that everyone else finishes in my place after ive gone, there will be punishments handed out. I will have no choice.

What it means to be a pieceworker, and what it means to be a pieceworker at kingsway.  Your first job, aint finished until the second one begins. The faster you are, the more you make. All simple logic. The faster you go at kindsway, the faster they fcukin dock yer prices. I used to price my own jobs up, by timing the first one. however long it took me, was then priced up at 6.00 an hour. I.e ,A 20 minute job becomes worth 2.00. Because it was a new job, it took longer the first time. I picked up speed in time. after giles left, I raced myself at kingsway, not the clock.

For about 5 years or so, one of the duties I took on for them, was loading the lorry on Wednesday nights. Most times till ten. Sometimes longer if I was needed. I could do all the finishing off work, any repairs that needed doin, I was perfect for it. I enjoyed it. it was nice to feel appreciated. One particular loadin day, I was stood at the back of the lorry tickin off the list. Id carried all the furniture out and stood smoking a fag. The gaffer was in the lorry at the front. We started loading about 5 pm on average. Cake shop came down to moan about the cushions they were struggling to get done. “I dunno brian, she said, its alright fer him, standin there bleddy smokin”he was miles away and didn’t hear the comment. “I DUNNO BRIAN, ITS ALRIGHT FER HIM TO BE STANDIN THERE SMOKIN” I couldn’t believe the old cow said it twice. The gaffer always moaned about smoking. The smoke room was used to store ali baba baskets. Every space was precious. Worth more than the space we took up. why else would they load up shelves that have been put together slapdash. Above our heads. If one collapsed, it could be fatal. Especially for me with my skull fractures. One day lez an loz were stood there looking at the shelves a bit concerned. They called me over. Have you seen this young un. These shelves are slipping down the wall. We marked the joins with a pencil, see look how the mark doesn’t line up now across the two pieces of wood.” “ fcuk me, we better tell the gaffer about that” “nah young un, they’ll be ok” you fcukin what. How can you work under that now knowin that. you fcukin spineless bastards. Im fcukin tell the old cunt if you aint” they stopped me in time. how easy was that to wind me up. as simple little tic with a pencil, nearly had me ripping down all the shelves above our heads. Those shelves are still above their heads, and its just a matter of time, before they load it up too much. I hope loz aint under when it does. Out the three of us, hes the last one there. His fortune wont come working there, it comes writin about working there. All my old workmates have stories to tell, about that place, and whatever it was they remember me getting up to. 

Giles the other Rapper at kingsway, had air rifles all his life. his dad owned loughboro gun. He said if we put a match on the fire alarm case on the wall, he could hit it from the other end of the factory, by the clockin in machine. The rifle I had was like my pool cue. If felt part of me. I could have lit the match and put it out again in less than 2 seconds.

Cake shop came down to our corner of the factory one day, and as she came walkin towards us, she shouted “ok, that’s enough of that language, im here now” . she lives in Beaumont leys, and hears kids usin the same language all the time. I bet she doesn’t tell them to watch what theyre sayin. She`s used it in front of me before as well. This was my instant reply. I think it just about took loz`s ears off. “ er, if you aint with the language down here, down fuckin come down. I watch my language when I come to your room. If you want to work with blokes,  expect to talk their language.

I heard the sad news that Christopher reeve passed away. In my first book, I wrote that god willing he`d get better. I also wrote, that god willing so would ken bigley. The truth of it is, the scales of justice swing unseen to everyone at the minute. I called on both father jimmy and father phillip for help in telling the world I a back. both ignored me repeatedly. The scales that swung behind them in their parish`s,all show me god will pinish without prejudice.A man was murdered feet from where my big brother was workin at th time.The other side of the wall.He was something to do with father jimmy at st patricks.Jimmy was all over the paper that week, appealing for everyone to stay calm. I even took a copy over and showed father jimmy the headline. I was telling him I had all the answers. If he cant find the self belief needed to come to see me at my door, he aint worthy of standin on our step.Ours is the true house of god.Not that kennel he walks round in,feelin like a king.the bloke who was killed apparently moved in circles that could have sparked a war.The day father phillip shut the door on me,I was waitin for somethin bad to happen on stockin farm.Inevitably it came. Where the new houses built on the corner of ingold avenue and marwood road are. The opposite end of the block to st lukes. A little boy was tragically killed. The reason both fathers carry a guilt now over these incidents, is deserved. Had they helped me when I asked for it,neither of those deaths wouldve came about ,would they. god my dad has shown me how to spot the punishments for crimes against god.From both what he told me in life,and in my dreams in death.We`re the real royal family. Unsung until beckham turns up.  

THE HOLY LAND. A PLACE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TROUGH THIS PAIR OF EYES IN THIS LIFE. WITH MY KIDS
WHEN MY TROUBLES WITH MOTHER JORDAN COME TO AN END, THE TROUBLES IN jORDAN COME TO AN END ALSO. LISA JORDAN IS THE MOTHER OF THE TRINITY TODAY. THE MOST SPECIAL OF ALL THE 52 STATES I MET ALONG THE WAY IN THIS LIFE. SHE GAVE ME MY CHILDREN, AND SHE GAVE ME TWINS ON MY BIRTHDAY. THE ONE PERSON I SHOULD HAVE TOLD WHAT I KNEW. SHE THINKS IM JACOBS, AN I DONT BLAME HER A BIT.WRONG SORT OF CRACKERS. IM THE CREAM SORT. IM NOT JACOBS,JESUS EITHER. I WASNT BORN TO WALK LIKE JESUS, I WAS BORN TO WALK LIKE JACK THE LAD. WHICH I DID. ID LIKE THE CHANCE TO DO IT AGAIN, IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE WORLD. I CAN WALK OUT ONTO THAT WORLDSTAGE EASY, MY DAD HAD CHIMNEY TOPS.THIS TIME ID LIKE THE WORLD TO APPRECIATE IT MORE. LAST TIME EVERYONE HATED ME FOR IT. COS OF BECKHAM. THE HOLY LAND, A PLACE WHERE I CAN LEARN ALL ABOUT MUHAMMAD.

the Holy Land. YES IT DOES NEED MY ATTENTION, BUT UNITL IVE SORTED OUT MY JORDANS TROUBLES OUT, IM HELPLESS REALLY. BRING THE TRINITY BACK TOGETHER
THEN I CAN SHOW YOU HOW WE BEGIN REBUILDING THESE ANCIENT HOLY PLACES, NEVER TO BE SHOT AT AGAIN. GEORGE SEEMS INTENT ON ONLY REBUILDING THOSE AREAS THAT ARE RICH IN OIL. THOSE DAYS ARE GONE WITH THIS NEWS SPREADING OVER THE WORLD. IF YOU WANT TIME TRAVEL, THEN THIS IS HOW U DO IT. WE ALL WORK TOGETHER, VOLUNTEERING. WE REBUILD THOSE PLACES LIKE THE 7 WONDERS OF THE WORLD. IM PRETTY SURE GOD AINT TOO CHUFFED TO SEE EM GOIN TO RUIN LIKE THEY ARE. THESE ARE THE MIRACLES OF TODAYS PROPHET. THE WISDOM TO BUILD THE HEAVENS HERE ON EARTH. WITHOUT WARS AND CRIME, WE NEED TO KEEP OURSELVES BUSY.A WORLD CUP EVERY YEAR IS ESSENTIAL. AND AN OLYMPICS, CRICKET, RUGBY, ALL OF EM. EVERY COUNTRY NEEDS TO CELEBRATE THROUGH THEIR OWN NATIONAL SPORT. SO LONG AS ITS NOT A BLOOD SPORT OF ANY KIND. ENGLANDS NATIONAL SPORT IS FOOTBALL. THE SPORT OF KINGS IS NO LONGER HORSE RACIN. IT FOOTBALL. A ROUND ONE.

At the trinity centre yesterday, the kids told me all sorts of things that made me smile. I played football with joel and Georgia in the room we usually see each other in.They were both stood in the two archways,as I took shots at them both. the trinity re united playin football at the trinity contact centre. Tell me god didn’t have that plan mapped out, ever since the day jesus died on the cross. The supreme master plan, that had the two souls winding their way through history goin their separate ways. Always destined too meet back up. both of us had to make it back. If the fcukin vicars had done their job, we already be two years into heaven, an all the shit in the last two years, whos to blame. Don’t blame me, I couldn’t risk getting sectioned. They didn’t deserve for me to come to them again. their ignorance in gods eyes was seen through mine. He punished people in their parishes. This makes all those sadness`s better.  

Goin back to a couple of things that I wrote about in the first book, one being the time I saw a ghost. I was 14 an woke in the night because my quilt had slipped on the floor. The elctric had gone so the house was in darkness. It could be argued it was the dark playin tricks on my eyes. how come I could see his face an recognise who it was. his face was unmistakable. He only had his 2 front fang teeth. We called bill Dracula when we were kids. he`d been passed away over 5 years before that night. Im in no doubt whatso ever of who I saw. When you couple it with lee sayin he always saw 2 red eyes glowin in the dark from the corner of our garden, it makes you wonder. Lots of people have seen ghosts. All over the world they’ve been sighted. And very famously they turned up in belgrave hall. Because the ghost story is believable, and one Ive never changed in any detail when telling people, do you believe what else I saw. When the man utd games went to sky, I sold me telly in protest. As I lay on my bed one day, I looked out the window right next to where my telly used to be. what I saw in the clouds will stay with me forever. What I saw that day, I will swear to god in front of the whole world. I saw 2 faces as clear as a photgraph. The clouds were passing by as normal, except for the faces. The first one, was face pathetic looking face,wilting. The next face was a face of pure evil. The left eye was the only eye visible. Like the rest of the face was shrouded. That eye was pure evil. I didn’t move the whole few minutes in took to go past. I had no camera so I couldn’t take a photo. Weather you believe it or not, is up to you. how could I make something like that up. why should I make something like that up. I could see the clouds were going by, right above kingsway, the factory I worked in on parker drive all those years as a rapper.

Rock jumpin in Kavos, was something I Really wanted to do while over there. My mates weren’t up for it tho.Two blokes sellin the cruises on the beach came up to us. They asked if we would be interested in goin on one the next day. my mates dint get up til late usually.  We said no. They asked about the day after, we told em we`d be back in England by then. they asked how long we`d been there. “2 weeks almost mate,” I said. “Whats happened to your suntans then, have they all fell off”. I took that as a piss take on my mates. I was brown before we left England, sandin 40 chairs and 11 dinin tables in the sunshine. They can get fcuked if they think im payin for their beer later. Cheeky cun*s.

Kids fleecing us in Kavos, in quite a few of the clubs, we saw little kids. Goin round tryin to sell us tacky stuff. When they got no joy, the little bastards were tryin to pick our pockets. What bastards can even dream of putting their kids in that king of enviroment. Stu kopped one with their hand in his pocket. He was very lucky that night, that no one saw him give this kid a clip round the ear. That could have been a fatal mistake if the worng person had spotted that.

Stu came round to tell me the other day about his dad passing away. Dave. A lovely bloke, who always took time to come and speak to me when ever I went down stus house. I know everything stu`s goin through right now. he has every bit of sympathy I have. Not sympathy, empathy. The worst part for stu, is that dave was only 7 weeks away from seeing his first grandchild. I know how much that hurts as well. My dad saw my kids, but that doesn’t take away the hurt. They`ll grow up not knowing him just like stus` kid. that’s why we all must write our own family trees like I have for my family. My kids. They’ll get to know all about my dad through these books ive written for them. 

At Silvs funeral,father phillip spoke of Silvs masks.She had a passion for them. We all wear masks we cannot see. When we look in the mirror, who else is looking back at you, your loved ones of the past see you in that mirror.

When lisa fell pregnant with Lauren, she wasn’t planned. not by me anyway. We used 12 condoms, and 4 of em split. We were both over the moon either way. Daunting at first but then I warmed to the idea more and more and more. I knew I would have the same laffs with my kids, that dad had with us. I would make sure they had that same happiness, that joy in life. I wanted to give them the things we never had as kids. Id say I managed to do that. me an lisa went to see the vicar of her church in anstey. I wasn’t happy id be getting married outside st Peters Belgrave. Apparently tho, the men marry in the parish they move to. or that was lisa n her mams way of connin me into getting married in anstey. I didn’t realise, the vicar can turn down a wedding. It was like goin to take my drivin test. he didn’t know he was sitting with jesus today. I don’t like how vicars look down their noses at me. im better than all of them. im more pure mentally and spiritually. if they can choose to refuse a wedding party, then I don’t want to get married ever. who are they to judge people, when they cant fix their own roofs and steeples.

Georgina at no.13 is someone I don’t know at all. I say hello all the time as does she. Same with Sharon aces mam. With everything that’s happened in the last couple of years, I cant blame em for not wantin to go past hello. I asked Sharon out in the second year at ellis. She said no, an ive never looked at her in the same way. For one thing, she looks too much like lisa. her twin. A proper nice bird. Her kids show you that anyway. same with georgina. She asked me one day if I knew anythin about what someone wrote on her front door. Nigger. Like im gonna write summat like that when im the worlds least racist person. I can Prove that with my big toe. That kind of crap went on in fifties America didn’t it. theres no place for it on billo, not if I get my way.All these familes hit the jackpot, whatever happens to me.this is the world I leave behind, the one I don’t want to be leavin behind. I want to leave knowin its all goin as planned. who else can oversee that job.The lad who sorts it all out who`s working where, when,and what the job is. it just wouldn’t be right for me to not be a part of the celebration. “I want to see all those smilin faces,”to quote me old mate wheeler. When we were workin together in the sprayshop in the early days, we had a corner about 5 feet by 4 feet in which we both worked in. when you add a couple of bits of furniture as well to rub down, we didn’t have much room. songs would come on the radio, and doogie would start singin along. I always sang along just miming the words. The piss take was I had Norman colliers mic. When I walk out onstage for the world, its kind of what ive been savin up for everyone. He`ll have one of the biggest smilin faces out there that day.

When kim fell pregnant, that wasn’t planned either. she lost a baby, and blamed me for it. we went to see father phillip at st lukes, to see about getting married. He advised us not to, because of my debts. He said it wasn’t a good idea to get married if you were struggling financially. When two peope love each other, they go through every hrdship together. in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. We never even got to set the date. Things went pearshaped at work. Wanting to marry kim, shows just how mentally ill I really was. at 19, she just wasn’t ready for someone like me.  

the Return Of The Real King , with him he has the devil god tamed

the space centre in leicester is the backdrop for this photo. taken in the spring of 2003. jacks secret helper took it.i think that space station looks a bit like a crysalis.i huge rocket inside,waitin to take off.we could see em buildin it from kingswahey.The Lez asked me if thought it would be takin off. with a cafe underneath, i doubt it.i prefer the victorian structure a few yards away.to everyone in england,its got a much more interesting rich history.those chimneys fuelled the british empires industrial revolution.they made england the superpower it was at that time. my dad always said this chimney was a baby.he stood on them from 5yrs old. its bigger than the space centre.

St lukes alpha group,helping me post the several thousand letters. Karl Orchard bein a postie, he will know how to organize who delivers what where. The first book is written,im well into my second book. as news spreads across the estate, there will be more and more demand for printed copies.How can I possibly afford to provide everyone with a copy. I can work miracles, but not those kinds. I cant conjure up all the ink cartridges and paper needed. The church has a duty to provide me with what I need to get the job done. I dont need money, I need resources. The alpha group can take a chance on it, and help finance the first batch of copies. When jesus returns, he fears nothing. Not even the truth about himself.Truth that must be told. He must be prepared to bear all. that is what im doin writin this like I have. So everyone knows as much about my life today as possible. Ill carry on writing, until I have to begin my work. Waitin for the home help to call. Epson 830, colour and black and white. Whatever printing paper you prefer.

When we went back over the bowie after silvs funeral, the wake had finished. I wasn’t to know the bloke adam had a fight withs family would be in there. It kicked off but nothing serious. Mark Chapmans advice to me, was i Should have steamed in. and what would that achieve. It would start a war.

When we were kids, we used to go round all the factories on parker drive, checkin em out for anythin worth takin home.when we were in our early teens, we came across a proper little aladins cave. We peered thru the window of one factory, and saw a load of crates of BEER and wine. The window was about 8” x 14”. We smashed it from a distance, waited for the alarms to finish goin off, then we`d go back. Obviously, I got the job of goin through the window. I wanted that job. I knew the buzz id feel bein inside there. a place I shouldn’t be. we got a couple of crates of double diamond, a dozen bottles of wine, and shitloads of tonic water. We went on a Saturday morning. Stashing everything under a load of rubble in the factory next door. The factory in question, was where we had our silver jubilee. The one dad couldn’t make because of his busted kneecap. We even went up on our bikes. We came home and decided to wait til it got dark. as im ridin down parker drive, a police car pulled up, and the copper shouted” OI, get off them fcukin bikes on the path”. It put the wind up us, til he came out wi that. I didn’t like the double diamond, so I tried the wine. For some reason, everything went over tecs house. Whenever anything got done as a kid, tec was Always the lookout. He never had the bottle to do anything. just like his big bro. Wayne. The wine wasnt much better than the DD. I thought if I mixed the red wine with pop, it would taste better. grapefruit juice, dandelion and burdock. I had 3 bottles of wine. My first time pissed. We were knockin about with cindy then. Cid the dog. tec had a pool table in his back room, i 7 balled cindy steamin. I came out no.17`s door, staggered across the garden and fell straight over the hedge onto the path below. I was very ill. Because of that time, ive never been a wine drinker. “And the prophet of god must not drink wine.”  

Kingsways Rapper as in, He who Raps Kingsway up. an Boy oh Boy have i got the place Rapped up. they may as well change the firms name to kippers cane furniture.theres nothin kinglike in how these people treat their workers.audio,photos & written proof.

this is the story of kingsway in a collage of pictures taken over the years

One Sunday, I went into work at kingsway. This was just after Lauren was born but before I passed my test. I heard a fiesta drive down the drive. I came outside to tell her she`d come to pick me up an hour early. As I came out the bottom door, I was just in time to see the back of a white fiesta disappear round the corner. I walked to the corner to see who they were. As I looked round the corner, theyd stopped at the shutter doors. One bloke had got out, the other sat talking to his mate from the drivers seat. He looked back down the drive and saw me. he said something to his mate and then I saw the reverse lights comes on. I had to make a dash for the door. The only way to lock it from the inside was by wedging an iron girder on the stairs. As I dropped the girder into place to bar the door, the boots started pounding it. I couldn’t risk them getting in the factory. It was a pretty scarey moment. If id got any part of that wrong, if id fumbled at any time, they woud have got in. I could have stood toe to toe and scrapped with them, but I didn’t get paid to do that job. I rang the gaffer to tel him, he rang the coppers from trhe factory when he came to let me out. the factory got robbed that night. All the loads that were finshed and ready to go out were taken. Nothing else. Id say that was the gaffer jumpin on an opportunity. If I were cynical. I have to admit, them blokes in the white fiesta, had me worried for a few seconds. I saw in a few newspapers, that beckham had a scene with a white fiesta. One that left him petrified. Id say he was goin over the top a bit with that description. Like I did at the time.

 When we went penny for the guy at the speedway, it was a masterplan.Me an our mark dived over the wall with 2 or 3 guys we`d thrown together. we went round everyone in the stands askin em. we got shitloads more than we ever got collectin the bottles for the returns. In 1977 3 or 4 quid in 10p`s was a fortune to us estate kids. When we climbed back over the wall to unload another stash, it all went in the hunters pockets again. just like wi the wine and beers a few year later.After the second time they did this,I pocketed everything, but a penny. He even took it. wanker.The cars used to be parked all over parker drive on speedway nights. We used to nick the stickers off the windows. Which one do you want off this one tec ? tecs a couple of years older by the way. He put us up to a lot of the stuff we did as kids. Dad always said that the hunters kids don’t stink when they shit in their eyes. andy aint like that at all wi chay. 

Bloke gimme a quid at the bowie

I have to show beckham how to hyandle Sid. It was my job to train him up and keep him safe. Lee an adam both get a pup. So does stace. And lynn conception.

Legolas slidin down that wall on his shield, shootin arrows. We did that on beer trays dad bought back from the checketts.Obviously,we werent shootin arrows. We were goin down our stairs. There wasn’t enough room for a bow. We also did it goin down big green when it snowed. The green was covered with a ice. Polished perfectly smooth,by kids from all over the estate.Now they’ve planted trees so we cant do it anymore. The railway bridge that stood on beaumontleys lane, had slopes about 20-25 ft high. we used to slide down them. If you went off the side, you were in trouble. We never did tho. The top walls of the bridge was about 30-40 ft high. we used to sprint along them, racin each other. when I think back at what we did, im just glad my kids are not doing those kinds of things. We mustve given mam a lot to worry about. when I was gone all day as a 5 year old kid, mam never worried about me. she knew I would always come home. id be miles away somewhere, scrumpin my pack lunch. I came home when I was ready.

The summer of 1983 was spent in abbey park swimming in the river. Me stu mac an rich Patrick. Some bloke from braunstone would sit with us. We didn’t know him from adam. About 55-60. he had a load of towels and biscuits and stuff. He came down a few times. He even offered us a lift home one day. believe it or not, we took it. he dropped us off with no problems at all. The zebra crossin on Beaumont leys lane, where I got cleared up at 65 mph, that’s where he dropped me off. you just couldn’t do that today. that is a golden rule. What you instill in your kids not to do. Just like my mam an dad told me never to. in the world this book creates for ewveryone, your kids will be perfectly safe to do that. those blokes that take ids today, we throw em to the women in the families. They show you hell. The blokes that behave as god would want them to, theres a woman in that family somewhere, who wants to show you heaven. that’s just a tiny part of how girl power works. Dad cant say no for you, he has no right. one day in abbey park that summer, some bloke dived off the bridge, an split his head open. I didn’t know until I mentioned it, adam was there that day as well. A 9 year old kid. I didn’t know him at all.  

Aunts uncles both sides.

Mam an her sister aunt chris were both born 9 days from Christmas. Chris 9 days before, mam 9 days after. In the same year.

When I went to score today, two kids had a square sheet of metal they were skimming around. It reminded me of when me an gaz marshall were doin that with slates up the woodyard. De ja vue Real

The sort of work my family did for over 101 years, was the work no one else wanted. the akiens steeplejacks took on the churchs and chimney after theyd been hit by lightening. The most dangerous work of all. to climb above those breakages, to bring them down brick by brick. Imagine knocking a wall down with a sledgehammer. Its very hard work. Your body aches and you hands bleed. To be doing that kind of work hundreds of feet up, they were men. the chimneys they used to climb rocked in the wind, they didnt just sway. Maybe a hundred feet below you, theres a crack goin clean through the chimney. They had the self belief they needed to have, to get the job done. The self belief I have is no more or less than what they did. Im the one who has to spill all the beans. The Jackanory. Inherited from granddad and dad. they not only told me stories, they showed me how to tell them.

One night I was in the broadway lounge. Someone shouted thru there was a phone call. The phone was in the bar, at the end of the bar. Thinking nothing of it, I was stood by the hatch in the lounge. I went in 7 nights a week back then an thought I knew everyone. I stepped thru the 2 or 3 steps to get to the phone. The landlord, wanker steve, saw me step through. He had quite a few blokes lickin his arse bein the landlord. Tough blokes. He wanted a matchin image. He had a right go at me. he said “ oi, have you just cut through there ? if I see you ever go behind that bar again, il punch your fuckin head in”. he was just tryin to look the big man in front of his mates. Bein a skinny unknown 19 year old, he thought he could take a liberty. I apologized, not wanting to get barred. I told dad when I got home. he said if he`d heard him say it he`d have smashed his head all round that pub. As it was dad left it. he never said anything when he went in. he knew to leave it to me. that was the only way he could be. he knew it was up to me to take care of things. Revenge. Justice more like. This wanker steve, moved pubs. Ending up at the cherry tree, mablethorpe or skeggy. We went one day, a load of us. We bumped into him in there he recognized us, but never said anything until we did. Spineless little shit. Apparently, some geezers held him hostage at his pub. He got battered quite badly so I heard. When I heard, I thought, de ja vu fer Real again. cheers for payin him back dad. saved me the job, spotting it this way. Everyone gets sorted, who crosses us. no one spotted how these people get paid back but me.

Over the years, I kept diaries. However poncy that sounds, those diaries are worth their weight in gold a thousand times over now. the last few years I kept a diary I never realised I had. My mobile phone. A 2004 diary. everything I was doin on all the dates is logged in their. The bigger the memory the better. you can easily say what you were up to on different dates. The more you use your mobile, the more detailed your diary will be. that stands to reason. Every text ive had and sent the last few months is in my phone. Ive got stuff stored on an old chip. All stuff that will blow your mind when you see them added to this. a pc on the other hand opens up a whole new world. I never believed for a minute id look forward to getting home from work to chat on line in chatrooms. I got hooked on the net like loads of people have. A whole new society. In front of you. the information highway.When you look at the importance of this book, you could be forgiven for thinking computers were built for me to write this on one.also, you could be forgiven for believing the internet was built, because it is the perfect way to get this all over the world very quickly. This book has no pictures unlike the first which has hundreds. I want this file kept small, like a pilot or the main event. You can see a level of genius in this by now surely. When you get a copy of the first book, read it and read it and read it. copy it and email it on to your friends online.The internet has to be a good thing, because I found love on the net. The bird in question was lovely. But time, money and distance all played a part in keeping her off my list of 52. shame because she really was special. Still is. lisa moore, from oswestry. She moved away tho. She cheered me up. 4 years after the twins were born, iwent online. I didnt know I was the father of the trinity in the here and now then.did she know  ? when you realise the magnitude of who I am, I could be livin in the same sort of world as jim carey does in that film. Every move I make I could be being watched. When you walk like a king, you don’t care. When you walk like the son of god, you walk with your head held high for him. bein realistic, I think that film came out, because it was meant to make jesus realise who he was in this world. the most solitary figure alive. Alive being the operative word there. when jim carey realises the world he`s in, it freaks him out a bit. To know your whole world was fake. My world hasn’t been fake at all. its been all too Real. I got freaked out when I realised the world I live in isnt as it seems.You wont see it either this side of reading my fcukin side. when you get a complete copy of it online, make it available to everyone you can, and send I to everyone you can. Keep it complete an untouched.I want it to go out as it is.to the man in the street in the real world. from a dusty road in Africa, to the street I live on,with out prejudice. All our heavens are the same.

I did a job a few months ago, wi our lee. It started out me working wi paddy. Paddy riley. Not his real name but the one I called him. dad always told me about a paddy he worked with once. he loved paddies, but he said there was nothing better than working with a real thick one. they were bring dow a seven story factory, when dad got some demolition work. Dad was the bloke that god asked to do all the high work.In the trade, he was known as one of the top men. theyd lifted a jcb onto the roof, and this paddy was drivin it. dad left 4 courses of bricks all the way round the edge, so the jcb didn’t go off the side. the paddy backed into it, and then tried to go over it. luckily he bounced of it a few times, which gave dad time to get to him to stop him. dad had the greatest respect for paddies, he just loved it when he workd wi a thick un. When me an paddy wore working together a few months ago, he was drivin the tipper truck. We had to dig out someones garden. 3 feet deep, maybe 20 foot by 15. hard work but it made me feel good. to be workin outside after all those years in a factory, was more than a breath of fresh air to me. as paddy backed into the garage door, he bounced off it. the revs went up an he bounced off it again. then he realised and luckily, the door wernt dented. De Ja Vu. History repeating itself in this world. the other de ja vu, is the one that sleeps soundly in your subconscience. Every now and then it jumps out at you. that de ja vu, is proof your subconscience is a bridge to that other world. proof of life after life. 

Ive just been watchin kirsty young on five news. She was goin on about the greenhouse effect. The yanks think theyre above the ozone layer don’t they. Well they aint. The carbon monoxide levels are comin down quick. if you want power, then take it from gods breath. Wind farms and solar panels are where the future of our energy lies. A battery powered car has all the power we need on these roads. With a united effort makin em better all the time. all the wars endin for good provide the volunteers needed. another issue id like to add to, was the battery farms. Theyre outlawing them in 10 years…?  no they aint. They shut down all over the world, or England doesn’t share this with everyone properly.  Our way is the only way, because nothing any other nations come up with has sorted all the crap out. its all on my shoulders. Im thinking of every child on earth, not every race or nation. When it comes to religion, i aint interested. Religion means divide, divide means conflict. It always has. Aint it. 

Until I actually went on a plane, I could only imagine what it would be like. I got my mates to tell me what it was like. When Loz went spain years ago wi the missus, he had a bit of a rough flight. Loz doesn’t like flyin. At the time they flew out, he told me there were design faults in that type of plane he was travelling on. The roof of the planes had a habit of peeling off. his seat was by the escape hatch. When his missus asked him if he was takin his seat belt off, he declined. He spent the whole time strapped in.at some point in the flight, some kid a few rows behind em, suddenly blurted out, “dad dad, look theres a fire.” I can imagine the look that came over his face. that sheer panic, instant redness. Fear portrayed. “The little cunt, if I could’ve got me ands on him young un”. Made me piss when he told it in his own words. I enjoyed flyin. The flight out to corfu was at night, so I couldn’t see much out the widows. Only the lights of the cities below. The take off was amazing. You could feel the power. The take off was better than I imagined it to be. the landing on the other hand, I wasn’t too keen on. As we reached corfu airport, we were stacked up waitin to make our landing in turn. I looked out the window, and I could see lights that went way up higher than the plane. “fcuk me, were dodgin thru the mountains”. It was only after we landed I figured it out. the plane was banking. “you berk” I thought to myself. As we came into land, I could see the moonlight reflectin off the waves. As we came down lower and lower, I could see the sea getting closer. The time went very slowly. Then as we looked to be flyin into the sea, the waves were very easy to see. “fcuk me, the cunts bringin us down in the sea, why couldn’t he do that on the way home.” then I felt the bounce, as I saw a white H appear just in time. we made the end of the runway. I felt sure he did that just to see if he could shit me up. it worked inwardly, but outwardly, how you react, is what makes all the difference. I looked round to see both shearer and stu with their heads down, eyes very tightly shut. Like they were prayin to themselves. Fcuk that. I want to see whats comin. I might be able to get out of the way if I see it in time. which I wont be able to do with my eyes shut. If those men on that plane that came dowen in a field had done that, who knows how much more damage could’ve been caused. It doesn’t bear thinkin about. several things upset me about the events on September 11^th 2001. those poor little girls, were made to watch the monsters behave as such with knives. Slitting the throats of women. what kind of men do these kinds of terrible evil acts. The punishment that comes from up above for those crimes, comes in the next life, as well as in this. if you get away with it in this life, its twice as bad in the next. If im in that next world waitin for you, its three times as bad. another upsetting part of that day, was actually watching the planes hit the twin towers. I watched expecting the plane to slow down before it hit. Like they do in films. They didn’t slow down, that’s when the realisation hit me. I already had my head goin through the mangle, because of the times of those crashes. i knew my dad played a massive role in the events that day, somehow, from another world. because of those times. I had to make complete sense of it all, all alone. In the process of doing all that, I went through a mental hell only I could have got back up from. Because of that mental preparation dad gave me all my life, he made sure I could never be taken mentally. He made me too strong. He had to, and because it was made easier, because I had everything else I needed inherent.      

I remember one memorable night out in anstey. Not while I lived there, after id came back home to mams. Me an rob went to a party at the connie club. Someone at mams work got us all invited. 2 birds mam worked wi. The music they played fitted like a glove. I remember walkin across that floor like jack. in all his glory. I went back to asntey to show off the finished article that night. Mam told me her workmates thought I was a wicked dancer. I wasn’t dancing. I was just getting from one side of the room to there, in the most aesthetically pleasin way I could. What I did that night is what I want to do in the centre circle of the walkers stadium. I know I can do it, cos ive done it before. Like anything else, its easy when you know how.

 In this life, im softly spoken like beckham. But with a lot more to say. in the next life, I sound like thunder, if I choose to. I know because my dads hittin things of massive importance on specific dates. That’s proof he has that at his fingertips. That’s gonna put the wind up george w bush when he hears that. he can do all sorts with lightenin. It can come like a sewin machine if he chooses. That’s gods power. The very same power jesus inherited when he passed from this world. the same my dad inherited, and the same I shall. He`s shown me that too. Its his will that I inherit it down here, before I can inherit it where he is. im the one who has to begin all the work. Without him guiding me anymore. with me telling everyone how things should be done. If im the only one who nows how to build those heavens, no one can tell me know from now on. I must begin the work I was put on earth for. to bring football home to England, and peace on earth, to all races, all faiths, all men, women and children. Wheelers got lightenin down to a tee. Sounds more like  lightenin crackin than lightenin does. His roland rat, david essex an marti pellow all sound exactly the same. Which does he want to be. a id choose to be mark wheeler if I was in his shoes. Hes led an amazing life as well. Full of laughs. Like me, hes an unknown, breakin out with a real life true story.  Dodges Jack the lad. Im 

fairy tale endings, need fairy tale beginnings. My fairy tale began in belgrave, and moved to stocko aged 2. the life of jesus has been celebrated, the whole world over, since he left us all those years ago. the success of the bible, stands on the happiness it filled people. Knowing there was a son of god, and believing the words. Filling them with hope and faith. The day that I become know to the world, that I have found my way back, the celebration never ends. The second part of jesus`s story is about to find its way onto the book shelves. Its takin top spot for quite some time to come. just as soon as I can get some dumb bastard publisher to listen up and take a chance on me. ive got loads of rejection letters. The record label that turned the beatles down, that’s just how theyre goin to feel, when this does get a foot on that ladder. Me and Sids fairy tale ending, we walk out onto the pitch at the walkers stadium, and the blue army give us their full backing. I promise ill bring football home in return. Scott n Sid akiens, the very artful dodgers of belgrave. 2004, tv adb. Theres hundreds of names I could choose for this book. its for that reason im not giving it a name. you can call your copy whatever you want.call me whatever you want. Wanker makes me laugh out loud. in this world and the next. Im used to it in this one, im ready for it in the next. With a great big grin waitin to spread all over my face. like a childhood impression of rigsby. When I grin like rigsby ion the spot of that centre circe, ill be showin it dad, looking straght up at the stars. Hes up there on one of the fcukers. If you want teleportin up there, wait til your time comes. Its that simple. I can see that world, and I can recreate it down here. my dad would want me to use whatever method I judge best  the one that will work in MY opinion. This is what this shows you. how to do it. you don’t really need me. its all bonus, if I do make that walk. I can only do it, when enough people want me to do it. the blue army are my perfect escort. All of em. whos goin to stand in our way, when we have the power of god on our side. every where we go, transport must be laid on ready and waitin. A season ticket is the only passport they need. The rewards for keeping the faith are unimaginable at the minute. When jesus returns a born again blue army fan, the whole stadium and all concerned celebrate. Everyone in the surrounding area celebrates. The houses on billington and filbert street have just gone through the roof. The whole of Leicester , everyone in Leicester, hits the jackpot thru this. the promised land is wortha bit more than they cost in Chelsea, wouldn’t you agree. If Leicester wants these riches, Leicester has to help me. you earn your rewards by simply tellin a man utd fan. Im no longer a red devils fan. Im a filbert the fox fan. With an extra bonus. Englands new playin mascot. Sid akiens. my daughter george, changed my mind for me. when beckham was ousted, that made my mind up. I was glad for the lad. At the expense of seein him play. His move to Madrid cheesed me off no end. I couldn’t watch him play and there wasn’t much in the sports pages telling me how he did. I could’ve found out if I wanted to badly enough. As it was, I knew id catch up on them all later sometime. Ive been convinced im goin to watch those matches with him, just like im convinced im goin to watch return of the king with joel. How much would it take to make either of those Real. Joel and the girls are only 3 miles away. With the power he has, he can be here in the same sort of time it would take me to walk it there.  how long would it take to bring us all together. as his other half of chrsit today, I want him to meet my kids, and id like to meet his. Id love to tell them all our story. In private. A rehearsal, in which I can get all the tips and help that I need. I can watch the games at beckingham, if its covenient. I can do it all from there in complete luxury, as god would wish for me. a SPA  for the SPA. that’s what I spread all over the place. SPA`s. heavens. The nice places I see on the telly in all the different programmes. How about we stop seein those pictures of building bombed out and children getting killed. We only see those sights in films from now on. The heavens all around us, are the greatest ending to any film. Watch a film, with something worrying on your mind. It takes away the worry for a while. Then it returns after the film has finished. Its not the way its meant to be. after this is out, when you watch a film, you watch it knowin that after the films finished, you don’t have a single worry in the world. you can make your wishes come true, by volunteering to help build this new world god has planned. he planned it through me, in what he taught me in life. he shows me in death, in my dreams when he visits. Guiding me, giving me strength to carry on, in the self belief he instilled in me all my life. he neer encouraged me to play that puffs game football. in my own way, im arguing with him, that I want football to be the new sport of kings. The game he said was “full of poncy footballers, kissin each other and havin their hair permed, (When you see the photo of micheal percy harris, you`l see where keegans hair cut cropped up in my life. )who wouldn’t do my job for their money let alone his. They looked like dogs chasin that ball. Kicking it up a field and then runnin after it, stuff that” he used to say. Well I love the game now. whatever hes sayin. The self belief he instilled in me, was that I could achieve anything. its backfired on the old git a bit. I chose to practise that freekick. Ive got it down to a tee, and probably evolved it a bit. Like dad I don’t agree with chasin after anything. I just wanted that thunderbolt of a whip. I don’t do runnin anyore. The divin days are behind me, and ahead of you all. Through beckham, he shows me its football. the route I have to take. Theres only one david beckham, yeah, I agree. Theres only one Scottie akiens as well. Ask The Lez. Just take a look at my mole and tell me you aint thinking “I am the one and only” loads of birds sang that to me when iwas taxiin em all over charnwood and Leicester city centre. We don’t have sky. We have the sky above you, but not on telly.   

My kings dog tag has belgrave on the bottom of the back of it. its wearin off.

Rob Dudman, “duddie” he showed me a few tricks and I wasn’t even there to see em. stories of greek encounters. Wheeler told me all about em. a big part in makin my mind up to go. The leather strap that my kings dog tag is on, I nicked the idea of duddie. A much better look and feel than any gold chain. I got mine in kavos. The naked lady sittin in a heart shape, was mad of silver. It sent my neck green and gave me a fcukin rash, whatever it was made of. The brauny lads in Greece was what Really made my mind up. to get on a plane finally, at 29 years of age. Today at 34 I still aint seen the sights in London. I saw some of it from above on flight BCF 41 on july 12^th 1999. as lez at kingsway said, its like robinson crusoe. Getting off the island finally. Loved the take off. a proper buzz. The landing aint so good I have to admit, but its worth the take off. id love to do the fcuker stoned. Now that would be something. The bunjee ball in kavos was ok, but it was too risk free to get the buzz you get off a take off. wheeler told me all about everything about their holidays. One story was duddie on a stage somewhere havin to be tarzan. Wheeler said he looked  wicked. I can imagine he did. He had the two best looking birds in the whole resort after him. a very good looking bastard with a unbelieveably good sense of humour. Always laughin. Never a crossed word. He never too the piss like gilly did. Again, I kept quite, savin it all up till now before I blow their minds. Young uns back with loads of differences. One being I don’t shit off any of you any more. You lot help me bring football home to Leicester. There aint much of those holidays I cant remember. all the laughs, how much they took the piss out of dave. Which brings me to another bloke. Lee Endo. Photos of his hair cut will haunt him today. a cross between rod steward and limahl. A chris waddle cut. dave had pissed them off all holiday in the same way chapel pissed us off. no mind of his own. The last night, they wanted to enjoy without him following wheeler all over the place. Crampin his style with nothin worth sayin, and certainly no help pullin. A plot was hatched. Usin my imagination and goin on what wheeler told me, id say theyd be happy at my version of events. Because no one involved works for kingsway anymore, I don’t have to worry about anyone takin flak off anyone. the gloves are off, you kick a dog too many times, sooner or later he gets of the leash and bites you back. Very very hard. One incident earlier in the holiday I got told about, was dave showin off. because his later teen years were spent on mopeds goin to and from the pub for three pints, and pretendin he`d had a great time. he told me I hadn’t lived loads of times. Dave turned into evil k-nevil, and went bombing off into the sunbaked hills, at top speed. Like an idiot, he fcuked up the moped somehow. As the lads went past him stood at the roadside, with his scotter knackered, they either just went straight past honkin their hooters, or  they stopped to take the piss. Either way, the bastards left him there. they seized the opportunity to get away from him. id have done the same if it was us with chapel. They found a remote village somewhere way off the beaten track. While dave walked his bike back to get it fixed. God knows how many miles he had to walk. He got it fixed an found em tho. How yer fcukin Donald duck. When he asked him to go, he was only jokin. When he said yes, wheeler was gutted. He couldn’t slag kingsway quite so much with that sap there. id have got him pissed every night to find stuff out. so I could add it to this fcuker. The last night, belonged to lee endo.  In my words…

Lee   ayeup, eres dave the rave, over ere dave, ill get you one.

Dave   oh, cheers lee (being greeted like this probably surprised dave, he got on everyones nerves. He even had a scuffle with little stevie north. He left some change for the maids, and it bought a bottle of vodka.

 Lee , Lets have chasers then.

Dave   er…   (shittin himself. Drinkin them this early in the night. That’s how they do it this side of braunstone mate.).. go on then

Lee`s went straight down the hatch, dave slowly followed.

Lee   “go on then dave get em in.”

Dave  “Two more please”  

Lees went straight down the hatch and ordered two more before dave picked his up. then he was onto dave to get another.  Only another one or two was needed.  it worked perfectly. Done up like a kipper. Lee could drink shitloads of em accordin to wheeler. He went back to the digs about 9 oclock and they all had a good night without him. this holiday was a world apart from the pony twekkin he was used to with his mates. they sent him home for a laydown, just in the same way I got gaz wheeler to get him smoking a spliff. He went outside for a laydown on the high street that day. Christmas eve.

Gaz at no.18 told me a story tonight that gave me a bit of de ja vu. He told me about the time when he was a baby.his mam got scared in a storm an put him in a puddle.Then she ran off,aparently.It reminded me of when Lauren put George in the baby bath while lisa was upstairs. Frightened the life out of us both. she was under the water when lisa came down the stairs. She rang me at work. I was working late as usual, when I should have been with my kids. A fair days work is all you should ask of anyone. I worked from 5.30 am to 10 pm loads of nights.they weren’t bothered about my family any more than they were bothered about their own. Which showed in all their backbitin an mistrust. Tec an his brother built the extension for the paint store. Steve was out there askin em how much it really cost.What a fcuked up family. For all their money, they live like peasants.That cheers me up now. it dint used to. I despised them for their mean ness.Now im happy, that they aint really enjoyed it.not like I would.

One job I got at kingsway was all the glass work. lez was usually the only bloke that was brave enough to help me. the gaffer was a fcukin liability. One day we lifted a sheet onto the bench, an he was rushin as usual. It hit the bench as we dropped it flat. It shattered like a pond with a bomb goin off underwater. Glass sprayed up just missin our faces. The bang was awesome. Deafenin. We used to have to turn 8 feet by 4 feet sheets of 4mm glass on their corners. They came in on the trolley horizontal, but kingsway bein kinsgway, they had to find a hard way to do things. We had to stack them vertical in the racks to save on space. Id like to see beckham risk all his looks turning one of those sheets how we used to. Imagine a big wobble board that could cut you to ribbons. That’s what I used to do when I was takin home money for my missus an kids. A bit more dangerous than playin football id say. There was only an inch or two clearance under the false floor to move the glass. That’s what made it so fcukin dangerous. Their bastard greed.

Stories I remember of my cousins growin up. funny ones. Ones that will make em cringe. They dish out dirt on me, I aint scared of the truth. I see all the benefits of telling the whole truth, and facing the whole truth. If its funny, im writin about it. if it aint funny, im makin it funny. The bullshit we see all around us day in day out, only the very best bullshit, takes care of it. one time, cousin Pete came over from rugby with his mam and dad. they went out and he stayed at home wih us an the babysitter. Lorraine mcphillips. Pete was about 11 or 12 at the time. he showed us all how to dance that night. The ant Rap. What a laugh that was. one of my favourite sousins. The only one to vist me in hospital. He came from Durham. My cousin that worked there, couldn’t make it down the corridor. Where were my family when I needed em. I felt just like granddad did. Like no one cared. Pete went on to become our billy elliot. With feet as big as his, id have loved to have seen him prancing about. dad called him kipper feet ako. His best mans speech pissed all over any in four weddins. That tells me he`s an ako. A born natural Jackanory. Like all my aunts and uncle. Proven himself in my eyes already. Not all of them have, but some have.  

Today September 12^th04, Ive just been listenin to wanker bill mouthin off next door. Hes shoutin at his 12 year old grandson, to come in for a pastin. The poor kids shit scared in the corner of their backgarden. Wankers shoutin out the window, what are ya a man or a mouse, stop whinging like a bitch and get in here now. this cunts 6 feet 5 and broad with it. the other day, he threw Jamie at the wall. Even Theresa said he went a bit too far. The cunt played on jordans death to get together with my mam. How devastated he was. fuck off. this bastard even admitted to my sister, he`d made his mind up at my dads funeral, he was goin to be with my mam. Well he doesn’t quite realise who the fuck hes dealin with. It takes a man that size to fuckin batter a kid. his own grandkid. Im only about 8 ½ stone wet through, but he fuckin shit himself when I went at him in the street. His sort always will. They aint man enough to fight other men. just little boys. From his tone of voice, id say he enjoys it. from the tone in jamies voice, the lad involved, id say he was petrified. Just 12 years old. I hope he grows into a right big fcuker, and gives his granddad everything he ever gave him. the physical and mental abuse he suffers at his granddads hands, he needs fcukin shamin to the world for it. hes earnt his walk of shame in the dirtiest way. He shit himself walkin over the pub not too long asgo bill did. He was forever pissin the bed when he came home pissed. The most disgusting bastard ive ever had the misfortune to meet. Bill edgar, the biggest wanker on stocko. He`s still shoutin at him now, as I write this. hes in for quite a shock is bully boy billy. 

My Samuel john fight theory. Im just guessing here, but I cant see great uncle Samuel being like jack the ripper. He grew up a few years younger than john. How many were in there generation I haven’t a clue. The family tree I was given shows only those two. Online I found that generation. There were another 5 children. When we all get together at the walkers, we find out the truth from those that really know. those that were there.if you know a story about the akiens in belgrave, or anywhere in the world, tell them they’ve just hit the Jack pot. Whatever nationality they are today, theyre still part of the family that bought jesus down off the cross. They need to know this very soon. My theory of sam and johns fight, is that Sam got drunk, and threatened another family member with a knife. John was told and a fight was forced on Samuel. He was made to bring it. and john taught him a lesson. Samuel lost and was transported to Canada to keep them apart. Samuel was still an akiens. he didn’t need the knife. If he`d had the belief our great granddad had in himself. Ive seen history repeat itself through our family over the years. knives have played a part in my generation. I had belief in myself. In my two knuckles on my right hand. I only needed to use it once. Whoever stood in front of me. sometimes I had to take dives obviously. it aint so bad divin. So long as you make it look good.

Curries

The kids play catch up reading this. it erases all the pain they’ve felt because of my actions. I wasn’t in control, and I was in control. I had a mental struggle to end all mental struggles. Literally.

The kid that came through the streets, like Tyson. The hard way. Brooklyns artful dodger. Bad.like belgraves artful dodger. Men AND Sid.. sids bad. sick, phat, wicked. He gets called allsosts as well.

I saw Harry Hill on room 101 tonight with Paul Merton. October 4^th 04, Harry wanted god to be put in room  101. it made me laugh when he said “he`s like a builder whos got another job on” how right can you be. dads pissin himself laughin somewhere. Harry said he wanted miracles every other day like they had 2000 years ago. the miracles I can give this world every other day, will be of great interest to him being an ex doctor. When mankind is working together united, we see cures for all the deseases appear as quick as that. all it takes is time. when we make the world timeless, time is on our side. we need to measure time, not worship it. time travel is something we create around us, not skipping through it in any machine. That is like stepping on gods toes.

Some idiot nearly cleared sid up earlier on the crossing. He just shot straight past without even looking. I took his plate, so I could get him back as well. he needs to take another driving test in my opinion. P 471 PJX. It took me 4 go`s before I passed. It could have been they didn’t like the look of me as well. I got used to people disliking me on sight. Fcuk em. one bloke who failed me on 2 of those occasions, pissed me off big time on one of em. I didn’t check my passenger side mirror for a cyclist, as we came off the pork pie roundabout. There wasn’t a cyclist there  I told him, if there was, he`s fcukin behind me. what good is looking in my mirror, hes hardly goin to fcukin overtake me is he. Lisa had a similar thing. She drove a foot over a stop line at some traffic lights. Ok it’s a failure, but when that’s the only mistake you make, you think some people would show some decency. If not common sense. The person who passed me, was a little old lady from cropston. I thought id failed already when I saw it was a woman takin me out. I could’ve kissed her when she told me id passed. Every failure cost about 400 quid. Money that was hard earnt Rapping. Having a young family, building up a home from scratch, money was tight. Most of mine and lisa`s problems were because of money.  

In the street today, the kids play out as they always have. Always someone fallin out wi someone. If it aint the kids it’s the parents. A very colourful street. Albert square and coro aint got nothing on whats gone on down here over the years. I love playin football in the street wi the kids. Its like therapy. Plus Im getting some coaching practise in. you could write a volumne of stories. Real stories. Covering probably every scenario. The whole street hits multi millionaire status when they want it to as well. The stories are invaluable. Who else has been better positioned to see whats gone on at our house than our neighbours.

SUMMER MADNESS the words in that song, poetry in rythmn. Says it all. the perfect way of life. in that world you have drug wars and gang warfare are just streets away. I know cos ive seen Miami vice. This Rapper removes all that crap off those streets. Will smith. Born to play the greatest. How could I not mention Muhammad ali, with all this name droppin. He lived like a king. his stance on Vietnam is one I would have taken. His turning to islam, did him the world of good. the persecution of all faiths has to end. Uniting into one thru this is the only choice you have.

I NEED YOU TO HELP ME ARGUE WITH GOD. If im dying, he`s calling me. I don’t want to go just yet tho. I need all the help you can give me. its what my dad would want. If you want to keep me here, you do your very best to help me stay here.

BLUE ARMY, I only ever been down city once. On boxin day 92. we played sunderland an beat em 2-1. pool was in goal. Lisa was pregnant with Lauren at the time. how many can boast a 100% success rate at Leicester city.? To them this means only one thing. The only way is up. even if I kick it before I kick it, they get inspiration from me thru this. you never give up, you never back down, and you never ever drop your head. When you are faced with danger, look him in the eye, and grin. Get down low and dirty if you have to. just be ready. every person who comes within my own personal space, I have them covered. Whatever the scenario. I am the upper tier mentally, physically, every way. I have to be. I have to keep myself safe. I know my true worth to this place alive.  To the blue army, im irreplaceable. They could never sign another me, not in a million years. the walkers is the hotel my immediate family need to have rooms in. luxury for a change. We bring it all home so much better as a family. A united family, like my dad, granddad and grandma would all want. 

ANDY NOBLE

When I left kingsway, I felt like theyd took the piss big time. like theyd pulled the ladder up on me. for years I worked all the unsocial hours ang long hard hours rapping. Shredding my hands for them. They didn’t show me any loyalty whatsoever when I hit my mental episodes. They did the opposite of help me up, they wanted to help me off. suggestin suicide kind of woke up a demon. I felt such a rage after all this time working there.steve was the main reason for my departure. I had no choice but to resign. They woulodnt make me redudndant, and I didn’t enjoy the work I had to do anymore. I lost all respect for them. I always said, id never work for an arsehole. That’s what he became in my eyes the day he said what he did. I looked on him like a second dad after my dad died. I respected him totally. I worked for him as I would my own family. Except I wouldn’t let the thieving go on. Nor would I “live in rome” with ali bab an the forty thieves. There were easily over 40 ali babs nicked from kigsway. Check the workers houses.  The thing kingsway didn’t realise, was confirmed to me by comedy dave in his own words. He said, “shut up about your problems, you bring everyone down”how thick can they be.runnin things down on the workfloor, you need one thing. Someone to pick the mood up and get people laughin. When you manage that, you get the best out of them. Penny pinchin and telling people what to do, is counter productive. When I was at my best, my happiest, that factory ticked along with loads of laughs. I took my sense of humour to work, the same dad took work with him. I could run that place ten times better than those idiots. They don’t have anywhere near enough people skills. If they had anything about em, theyd have invested. Helped me get back to my feet financially, that would have reflected in my work. Id have had my faith in them restored. Id have been happy again,and that meant I made those around me happy.When I was at my saddest,my friends at kingsway felt for me.I know who they are.A pittance to them would have been a fortune to me. without me down the years, they wouldn’t have achieved that success. I dont need to prove that. my record speaks for itself in my wage books. Those in the know,know what my hands went thru.For pennies Really.As it is, they’ve probably been shittin themselves since the day I left.That the taxman, health and safety, customs an excise, all might turn up. my resignation letter didn’t make much sense to them then. 16 years of home truths. All the shit I had on em,the lot.I still got tapes of the gaffer.Lowerin his own rope in his own words. They’ve been shittin them selves about that especially. And so they should. Like I said all along, I wont write it if it aint true to the best of my knowledge. If its funny, its goin in. you can take it as bullshit or you cant. Its up to you what you believe in all this. so long as you bear in mind all the facts. They are all Real and unchangeable.

LOOKIN GLASS

SARAH BRIGHTMAN, BUT SEXIER. TRACEYS DAUGHTER WAS LOVELY. THE THREE LOVELIEST IN ANY THREE IVE MET. CANT REMEMBER THEIR NAMES.

In todays world, loadin a roach into a spliff, is like loadin a bullet into a gun, to shoot yourself with.i can change that.united we find the cures that make this recreational wonder 110% safe. my big bro died and came back to show me it has to be legalised.United we find the cures for all these deases,in no time at all

Dads vow when we were growin up, was anything anyone did to us, he would do double to them. He`s found the way to pay those people from where he is now. a place I know I will go when my time comes. My vow in this world for my kids, I do treble. I remember a big kid of about 14 havin a go at me as a kid. I was about 7 or 8. his uncle was a pro wrestler. A big hard bastard. He did something to one of us one day. dad saw it. he flew out and got the lad by the throat and pinned him to the floor. The lad immediately told dad he get him done for it. dad growled like only  he and granddad could. He told him he could stand that. then he name dropped his uncle. Dad said, for my kids, I can stand anything. send the bastard. You wont see him again. dad was a seriously savage bloke when it was needed. You just didn’t fcuk with him. his voice paralysed you. his hands too you apart faster than you can believe. like granddad, and great granddad. Theres loads of reason and proof, to suggest weve been getting worse in that department. Resulting in me. im worse than all of them, because they all get up in me. I rap them all up in me, and our family telling their story. For all the good it`ll do. They didn’t call me evil to make me believe I was, they called me evil so could overcome it. the evil I know, I taught myself. It isn’t evil. It justice, gods justice. They wanted me to absorb all the evil in this world. by whatever means that takes my fancy. A night in belgrave cemetery with ian Huntley is the perfect setting. To bring football home, beckham an I have to shake hands. Anywhere. Just as long as that happens, I`ll know my work has begun. He`s not the sort to turn away from his duties. He`s shown that time an time again. like I have, unsung, and skint.

How a tune wakes you up. all different songs set off different memories. Some good and some sad or bad. this book brings the words of these song mentioned to life. they have so much meaning, they sit perfectly where ive put them. Listen to them at these points as you read it. they either have you crying your eyes out or have you laughing out loud. that is the intention. To wake up those senses.

Sparrin wi beckham, the advert that sees beckham facing an opponent who you don’t see. That is me in Real life. the contest I would like to be in, id like to use as an advert for my book. im goin to bend a football with so much velocity, so much whip, its goin to bend his mind. In the best possible way. I aim to show the world my freekick. Iv practised for a very long time in me workboots. Ive had some time practisin in the nikeys now. I must say they improve me. footwear evolutions come a long way since great great granddad was makin em. the power I and accuracy they give, beckham better watch out. im kickin the fcukers at him. he has to hit me. you cant dodge, if it hits you on the chin, we take it, and laugh out loud. stage in outside footballs home. in my street, billington close. The street that’s even shaped like its meant to house the explosion that spreads all over the world. cannon shaped.

One night we had a piss up together, a few of us from billington. Adam disappeared for a few minutes. When he came back, he looked like jimmy saville. All he had on, was a blonde wig, a thong, an a great big smile on his face. you just had to be there to.

Some of my friends an family seem as tho theyre ashamed of me. mark hasn’t been in touch for about 6 months, and lee would sooner I wasn’t there at his birthday piss up. because kirsty and her lot are goin probably. Im inclined to agree with sis, hes been brainwashed to some degree. 

When I saw daff an told him id been sectioned, he already knew. He said “you’ve never bin right tho ave ya, lets be honest” ! the laffs we used to have at fishin, were some of the best. I really caught a fishin bug. We went in all weathers. Catching pretty much one of everything. I still remember most of the records for each different fish I caught. Tench was 7lb, pike was 14lb, roach was a 1lb, perch was 2lb, bream was 9lb, zander 5lb, carp was 17lb, my barbell wasn’t heavy enough for the scales. Daff never bought a license I don’t think. I did. I even bought a season ticket to winto`s one year. The year we had that outbreak of whatever it was. everyone wiping their feet to go in a field. Cant remember the name of that desease. It came the year I got Sid typically. I couldn’t take him fishin, and I couldn’t take him for walks across the fields along the train line the other side of birstall. It gutted me I spent 40 quid on a season ticket, an I only went once.  [email protected], lozs big bro`s email. Graham taylor.

Giles got me fishin again. it was him who took me up winto`s the first time. he took loz there once as well. Not fishin tho. Nickin gravel. Someone giles knew, or someone loz knew, needed a load of gravel. Wintos is a gravel pit. Giles, is the sort of bloke that wont pay for anything he doesn’t have to. loz told me that story, I told him a similar one. giles drove the 2 of them down there, and they sat waitin in the car. Loz asked what they were waitin for. for the owners to fcuk off. no sooner had they gone out the gate, giles leapt into action. “quick, start shovelin, before the cunt comes back.” Typically giles. One bloke at kingsway, was havin a brick wall built along the side of his house. He didn’t have any bricks tho. Giles said he knew where he could get some cheap. He asked me to come along an help him. it was worth a tenner, a days pay at that time. I was 16. as we drove along filling gate, I half expected him to turn in winto`s. he didn’t tho, he kept on goin. To the new housing estate that was bein built on the outskirts of syston. Near where the hobby horse is today. we both jumped out an started lumpin em in the boot, behind the front seats, all over the back seat. A mark 2 escort, that was already on its lasts legs. We snapped it across the middle, we had so much weight in it. that was giles all over. A proper entrepeneur. I remember goin over his house one Sunday morning, to paint his windows. We`d been out on the piss at petes weddin the night before. I got steamin on perno and black. I got a few pissed on it to tell you the truth. Apparently, I said to teresa giles missus, it was a shame she was married. We all say things when we`re pissed. I took a lot of ribbing for that. they never said jackshit to JackShit about it. he waited til Monday an told all the lads first. that’s how it was at kingsway. Don’t show a weakness, they`ll attack you for it. don’t do anything stupid, they’ll take the piss for ages. It didn’t bother me. I enjoyed makin em laff. I had drama after drama after crisis after crisis. Ever one of them was an experience I learnt something from. 

I used to go fishin with tec from no 17 as a kid. We used to go thrummie, king lears lake. Tec caught 166 fish, I caught 111. I never caught that many fish ever again in one go. If I had to choose between fishin and football,  fishin comes second now. the new sport of kings is football.

At kingsway, whenever the shutter door went up, all the lads would start shoutin jump to paul cherry. Kingsways king of bullshit. In bullshit corner

In snatch, a bull terrier swallows a precious gem, making it invaluable. And open to sacrifice. Sid has an infinite value to that, eatin dog food, and all my leftovers.

Rappers united. All them Rappers all over the world, from the Bronx to blackpool. I bring em all together.

The tolkien writer of the famous trilogy of books, the lord of the rings. Ive never read the books, but ive seen the first two down our terri`s. im savin return of the king, forwhen I get to watch it with joel. Hes a king to me. a true king. with the purest worship and love there could be. however much pain and suffering I see, I cannot help but love this world, because I can see its true potential. The love I have for my kids I love them more than life itself. When joel Realises hes the son of the Real king, hes gonna be over the moon. So is lisa. she and the kids have a freedom now they can never have dreamt possible. Not in their wildest dreams. All their wishes come true. Whatever they want to do or wherever they want to go, they can. That’s not the world I want to leave behind, but ill be happy to, so long as that world is being created, ill be happy. Watchin it all from the best seats in the house. Through the eyes of my kids. 

On Thursdays usually, steve would spent the evening in the office, doin his “invisible work”. He worked out sales forecasts an allsorts. He used to come down to us with all sorts of funny stories he`d printed off. a bigger knobhead, you could never hope to find. Id love to be able to check exactly which sites he went on, just like id love to know how poor kingsway were, when they told us constantly, they couldn’t afford a payrise. In 1993, they borrowed enough money for one container. At a cost of around 14k. within 5 years, they filled the factory with about 40-50 id say. Stockpiling to them has become an addiction. Greed. A 45,000 extension. New lorries, flash cars for cunto. Not to mention how they whittled their staff down, to a bare minimun. The wage bills went down, the turnover went through the roof. More was goin out than ever before. All the gaffers cash jobs that came through the showroom. you wont find too many of them Saturdays special deliveries, showing the tax man gettin his share. The sons both get 10% of all that apparently. Id say steve gets a bit more than the 10% dave gets. He`d been throwin tantrums galore if he thought his brother was getting the same as him. the granddad kids get preferencial treatment as well. Ash gets slagged off to fcuk. Lee is loved by everyone in the family, and will no doubt get the lions share of any money the gaffer leaves behind. Alex the youngest, what a little shit he is. the spoilt little bastards always blubbin. A voice that gets on your wick. I remember working one Saturday afternoon, and the kids were there as usual. Playin with nail guns and hammers and bows and arrows. The dumb bastards even sharpened the arrows for them. One day, ash had made a club type thing with nails goin thru the end. He was whackin a box full of rolls of meshing. The gaffer shouted at him, an ash tried to dart past him. he was clearly scared. I saw why a moment later. He grabbed him by the hair as he went past. hardly the sort of behaviour you expect off your granddad. Thomas daves kid, he was born down syndrome. Steves kids all had 500 put into a trust for them. Thomas only got 200. but then 200 quids 200 quid, when you initially hoped the child would die because of all the trouble he will be. how I could ever come to admire this bloke, when I see how gentle my granddad was with all us. My granddad got mad at me a few times, but he never grabbed me by the hair. And he never hoped one of his own grandchildren would die. Daves had quite a bit f time off goin to great Ormond street and various other appointments. That’s what Thomas`s granddad was on about. losin precious hours, when he could be sprayin shitty imported furniture.

I take an interest in different topics when they come my way. One article I read in the gg2 magazine I bought, told of the problems some Indian cities are experiencing. Because of the proportion of men to women in society, it causes an imbalance. Sexual abuse is on the increase, rape etc. their hope lies in getting some girl power. Another article told me about a poll that was carried out, concerning sex before marriage. They expected their bride to be a virgin. When the lads have got to grips with how girlpower works, they wont see it like that again. it doesn’t matter where you live in the world, it’s the same for all races, nations, and faiths. I was most upset to read only 38% thought it was important to wear a condom. Condoms in gods eyes, are for having safe sex. Not for child prevention. That figure needs to hit 100%. With girlpower, it will.i enjoy reading that magazine. Shame most of its in writin I cant make head nor tail of. 

My bedroom wall could do with a hole in it. the east wall of the room, so the sun wakes me up, like it did when I moved to 10 cropston road. The house willie thorne was born in apparently. Also, window in that wall, will give me a view of where id like my car parked. In the dead ground at the back of Andys.

Them fathers for justice blokes, it was a good idea to begin with, but then I think everyone got a bit carried away. This and everything else ive ever written, was what I did to show my kids I love them. I understand their frustration completely though. All we want is the chance to be proper dads. The kids need it more than we do, belive it or not , mum.

When I pulled a bird on a night out, I usually took home phone numbers. Many were taken, few were called. I used to just stick the numbers in my draw. Id usually take them out on the Sunday night round a few quite pubs in the sticks. So I could get to know them in nice surroundings, where I didn’t feel I had to watch myself. I could relax and be myself. Most of em I took in the old crown rothley. Great uncle SOS`s boozer. (and he is a great uncle an ako thru an thru. You don’t tell this man what to do either. he`ll tell you to fcuk off. ask him nicely, he`ll gladly help. He`ll even tell you a joke. That’s what the ako`s are like underneath all that fury. You just don’t bother us if you have any sense. Because im the very worst, I have the greatest deterrant. The most powerful, the fastest, most savage dog in the world keeping me safe. taking them in SOS`s pub became a ritual. All over swithland, bradgate, mountsorrel, that area. between them all they know a lot of this already. I told em all some of it. they all get to know the full SP in reading this. its goin to blow their minds as well to know theyre part of it. part of history. the greatest true story ever written. Some of them, could have been the one for me. those that dumped me. none of them were meant to be for ever. because I wouldn’t have reached the magical 52. 52 different states , some were mingers, most wernt. all their ages added up averaged 19. dirty beckham fcuked 52 states working from ome. A story truly heaven sent. And Hell bent

When me an our lee meet in town, we always make a visit to Leicester cathederal. To worship in our own way. For a spliff in the tranquillity of the fountain. I can sit there looking up, knowin my dad and granddad an all them in my family before me climbed them. I feel proud more so because I realised my lifes reason. To me its like Christmas everytime. our lee shouldn’t be here, but he is. in his own words, even the devil cant keep him and paige apart. I never bother with the benches, even though they’ve took em out now. I always sit on the gravestones that are set out flat. The one in particular, has a Jordan on it. she died on Christmas day. like the gravestone at st peters, I had to find it without knowing it existed. 

Thinking back to when we were kids, dad said loads of things that didn’t make sense, but they were funny. He joked about everything. It came on the news one time, that Barbara cartland had an elderly birthday. Dad said “piss me, she`s older than god aint she” how its took me this long to realise is a miracle. Its also a miracle, none of my family have been to ask me for a copy of it. or why haven’t they realised its our fortune. Even the copper aint spotted that yet.  I remember goin to a funeral with dad, I cant remember whos it was. as they stood round the graveside with the vicar conductin the ceremony, dad put his hand behind mams back, as if to push her in. the vicar seen him doin it. that made dad piss. At my uncle steves weddin, the best man pulled the ring out of his top pocket, and a condom fell on the floor. The vicar said he was topping the service, because too many people were laughin in his face. dad loved that one. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for aunt Linda. What a laugh it must have bin tho. Reverend quinn, or whatever he was. not bein a church goer, I dunno whos who Christianity wise. Only that the queen is the head of the church of England. I have told the vicars all this several times. You think it would be a piece of piss telling em the news they’ve been waitin for, prophesizin. That’s like sayin, wouldn’t it be good to look just like beckham, after hes been sent off against argentina. Theres no telling em. one day theyl start to believe in me. that comes either before or after they have belief in themselves. All they have to do is pass on the news to their superiors in the church. I have to make all the prophecies come true. I have to walk out onstage and walk like a king. im sure it wasn’t part of gods plan, for this half of jesus, to walk out onstage after his teeth have fell out. how could he tell the world our story, as god would have it. I need them sortin out, urgently. So long as I make the first night, the second doesn’t matter. I have the rest planned ready, for my absence, should that very sad event happen. It will give this world a sadness it cant recover from, unless I stick in a good enough disclaimer. Dad goin out laughin all the way, so will i. I lived a good life, my jobs done, I took all evil with me, by showing evil whats waitin. I can go out laughin, because I am the one who can PROVE, hes waitin. Think of your lost loved ones, those sadness`s will all disappear. I know I will see my dad again, because of another dream he came to me in. I was falling asleep in his arms. A dream sis had of dad, it really upset her. for a while she wasn’t the same. In her own words, this is her account. She`ll swear to it. he came to sis raging, shaking his fists in temper. He told her he could see everything that goes on, and he can do nothing to help. From that dream, dad has never been back to sis. She knows he doesn’t want to upset her again. she`s dead right. literally. He sees all our troubles through our eyes. to the family, they could be mistaken for thinking LOL`s got back up. not at all. its me his son. scott paul akiens. im just wicked at doin impressions. the whole world wont care which of us it is. they’ll be too busy laughin out loud. I have the families impressions off to a tee. All of them. Because I feel they are all in me. they all get back up in me, through me. by telling their stories, I bring them back to life that way. I give their lifes the respect they deserved. What they earnt. Im sad that I didn’t do enough to get the vicars to listen to me. knowing if I walked into a church, I could end all the crap. Until I had everything ready, I had no choice. I couldn’t risk getting sectioned. Im sad that my kids could have been made the happiest kids alive 2 years ago. if you want me to throw a guilt trip at anyone, id throw my updated bible straight at the 2 vicars. Half each. They took away the time I was given, to tell my kids all about who their dad was. their disbelief in themselves, their testing me, its like theyre bullying me into goin into a church. If I am who I know I am, they come to me. Christianity has treated the king of kings like a dog. I have lived 2 years too long in this poverty, when the king of kings should be allowed his place in heaven. enjoying all the good things god has given us. He should be seeing the world, because god sees through these eyes. give us all the freedom to roam this world like a royal family, and we`ll tell you the greatest story ever told. When my lot get involved in it, you just wonty believe how funny they make it. I need their support in what I have to do. That is as essential, as it is having david beckham in the front row of the audience. I don’t crave worship, slaves, fame, certainly not money, and im not bothered about adoration. I was blessed with the 2 hands that are to change the world. I always make the most of them. I like to do things for myself. The things I have no say in out of that lot, the fame, the only fear I have now at this point in time, October 6^th 2004, is stagefright. When I have all the support I need, I can do what I was born to do easily. I`ll have no choice. How can I not walk my walk in front of my family, after all they went through for me and with me. when dad called me evil, he knew what he was on about. I confessed most of it on his deathbed. From having the twins on my birthday, to dad passing away 38 weeks later, I went through every emotion goin. From the very best to the very worst. You should go through those emotions as you read it. if youre capable of laughin, youll get through the sadness I went through. Its all good reading how that year was, but to hear it, that makes all the difference. After me an lisa split up not long after, I had to go out and star again. I didn’t want to, I only wanted to live with the kids. It meant more now that I was there for them, now that dad was gone. I had to accept lisa`s decision that she wasn’t in love with me. I went through a very bad patch. In a short while, I let go, because I had to. dad always told me, that being a man, wasn’t about getting pissed, fightin loads of blokes, and fcukin everything that moves. He said it was all about accepting things for how they are, and getting on with it. the English way. After a few weeks, my mates tempted me into goin out. luckily most of em didn’t have birds. Stu, soley, shearer had a bird, but he still tried to pull. Without any joy. I found myself stood in pubs an clubs with the music bangin, thinking to myself “Young Un , what the fcuk are you doin here. you should be at home with the kids. I felt guilty goin out for quite a while. Time stepped in and things started to change for the better. I started enjoyin it again. it was what I had left, until the next serious relationship came along, I was goin to have some fun for a while. I never judged lisa or any other woman, for being honest enough to lead a healthy sexlife. Call a bloke a slag, he loves it, call a bird one, you aint getting nothing. If you adopt a girlpower attitude with them, the blokes will have it loads better. the women get the better deal, only because man has abused his superior strength throughout history. taking that attitude out on the pull, sayin all the right things, I had pullin down to a tee. At the time I didn’t realise something until one of them pointed it out to me. Josephine perkins. A very special person in my life. I can imagine the stick she gets looking like Maxine carr. After I told her about the year dad died, she told me something that stayed with me and always will. It has helped keep me goin at times. She told me that every woman I meet, when ive told them the story of dad dyin, every one of them would fall head over heels in love. I never realised how much I hurt some woman til jo told me. my mates loved it. they saw some pretty amazing things. I made walkin like jack look very good. when women are tryin to take their lives after you’ve finished with them, it puts you off tryin again. when a relationship wasn’t working, I had to end it. for their sakes as much as mine. While he was up there scorin for man united and England, I was scorin down here for the ako`s and England. takin the 52 states my dirty way. Beckham copied everything I did. As my book neared completion, his book was published. 

I once saw a picture in the Sunday magazine. They had a selection of celebs, made to look fatter with twick photogwaphy. I swear beckham looked the spit of our Rodney beck. Or is it Roderick, roddy or rod? If you think fools an horses, whos who. If im bein called beckham (dave) but im del boy the entrepeneur,from all my various money makin schemes over the years. if you ewver thought soap was confusin, wait til you try gerrin yer swede round our lot. Talking of vegetables, I prefer a swede to a turnip anyday taylor. How could you take lineker off in his last game for England. fcuk endin his career like that. he needs to play that second half again. when fantasy football really kicks in, we`re seein a replay of the England argentina game. The sendin off one. that event caused me just as much crap as it did beckham. You try looking like him in Greece just one year later. No one forgot about it my side of things either. trouble was/is, they stopped givin him shit not too long after. Ive not stopped takin crap off people ever since. to this day it carries on. When he calls at my door, it ends for both of us. God will not help those that have stood in the way of my work. our work. the heavens he has had me prepare for this world, obviously has a mirrored hellish existence in their afterlife. Those stood in the way of gods work, those who oppose his will, will be treated like the devils servants. Youre in the same boat as the likes of ian Huntley. If you would like to ask the queen for a pardon, it wont matter. You need the king of kings pardon. That’s where your forgiveness from god comes. If you don’t make amends for your ignorances, you pay heavily. Very heavily. I know cosa its me that’s gonna be doin it. dads showed me that we get our own back from the next life. imagine the rays of sunshine, come down all around you. that is heaven. imagine that sunshine, are lightenin strikes. That’s the difference I make to this world while im in it, and the difference I make if I leave it unannounced. When I tell the world im goin home to the family, I tell the family thru the eyes of everyone watchin. That is the power of god. Everything you see, he created, he keeps an eye on it thru US ALL.

You know when youre out there on the floor, dancing with a bird, I throw it all in. ive lost count of how many birds actually told me to stop singin to em. I enjoyed meself whatever. When you can dance like your eyes are closed, and make it feel like youre makin love to yourself, that’s when you have the confidence to walk like jack did. When you dance like that in pubs and clubs, blokes an women hate ya for it. especially a beckham lookalike doin it. fcuk em all. jealous bstards. Al I can assume from that is, I must have made it fcukin look good !!  to quote uncle terry, our marathon man of the lot, I looked the part. In every aspect of life, when I had to evolve, I made all the right changes needed, when I needed to. shame the vicars have let everyone down for so long. If I can put right all the wrongs of the last 2000 years, I can put the last 2 years right. they didn’t die for nothing. I give their lives purpose. How ironic, that Christianity, put all the nails in their own coffin themselves. No religion sits above my judgement.It says in the bible, something about lying divinations. Those vicars are guilty of that crime. Because they prophesize my return in their services for Christianity. And they know I am back. Both waitin for me to walk thru their doors. Sorry boys, but religion aint goin that way now. you fcuked it up. all those people that lost their lives and suffered needlessly these last 2 years, they carry the blame, I carry the answers that tale away all that pain. They died to end the ignorance of a religion, worshipping itself more than god. The example I make of Christianity, is the one that has all the others sittin up an takin notice of the future one. we all get along, or our sins against others come back to haunt our kids when we are gone. We are see their pain through their eyes. how much more incentive do you need to stop hurting others, and helping them. God rewards as well as punishes. I am his present to this world. gods gift, if you`ll let go of all your stereotypical views, an just let me get on wi what I have to do. When I walk out onstage for the first time, im not out there for the audience in front of me. im out there for the audience that sees thru you. your lost loved ones. When I do that, and you all have this realisation, trust me when I say the whole place will be bangin. The buzz the whole world will feel, will never ever fade now. the hope I bring is the one that keeps us out of trouble in gods eyes, for the rest of time. all eternity. 

 Its hard to believe, its 3 years since 911. 2 years almost for the bali bomb. It was after the bali bomb went off, I told a couple of vicars I was jesus today. 2 years and they haven’t even been to see me, to ask me how I know I am jesus today. nor are they telling their superiors. Or their superiors are also happy, to sit and wait for me to come to church. My suffering in silence counts for nothing. They are men of the church. Men of God. These are the people that choose to test the son of god by ignoring me. as my heaven waits for me at the end of this life, hell waitrs for all those guilty of testing me. they break the golden rule. The son of god is not to be tested. If he is the one, his prophecies will already be coming true. When I see beckhams injuries coming to him, I can see the future. Those are my prophecies. I see his future coming. Both good and bad. join us up, and nothing bad ever happens to either of us, or anyone else for that matter.

When my grandma died, it broke my heart. Id took the day off work to go and see her, before it was too late. I got down there, and cousin andy answered the door. He told me there was nothing I could do, and its best I didn’t go in. the sadness I felt that grandma was slipping away, we`ve all been there. that night I went down the Talbot with a few mates, to take my mind off it all. I rang home to ask mam how grandma was, and she told me she`d passed away about half hour before. It gutted me. because of andy, I never got to say goodbye. He didn’t have any right to stop me goin in. he`s always been a bit up his own arse. Him and dad didn’t get on at all. andy gave dad a lift one day. they went up the A 6 past Bentleys roses at about 110 mph. Dad told me this story a few times. Im glad he repeated himself with all those stories. That was so I could recall them more clearly. Andy asked my dad if he was ok goin at that speed. Im not frightenin ya am I LOL, dad told him straight. You couldn’t frighten me, it aint possible. How could dad be afraid of goin 110 mph, with a car rapped round him to cushion the impact. When he climbed chimneys day in day out, he faced a 125 head on collision with the ground. With no safety or protection at all.  if our family was a village, guess who andy would be. andy is still unproven in many of the families eyes. this gets to test him more than anyone else in the family. He told me he climbed firestone chimneys as a kid with granddad. I believe it when I hear that my aunts climbed chimneys, before ill believe he did. If he climbed chimneys as a kid with granddad, where the hell was my dad. I know for a fact, my dad wouldn’t have let granddad climb with a kid while he was there.  maybe im wrong. Maybe he did. Ill believe it if comes from my aunts mouths. Not until then. andy was in the navy for a number of years. apparently, he was a very very talented boxer. I remember him telling me, he was ranked 13<sup>th</sup> in the whole navy, and 20<sup>th</sup> in the country. Maybe its true, or maybe he was bullshittin granddad about it. aunt J wasn’t impressed at all when he left the navy. She told me he jumped ship, just before the Falklands. He`s got a great big yellow streak runnin right down his back, I remember her sayin. This is how andy gets tested proper. Can he make that walk out behind me, as they all intended us all to. the alternative, I think aunt Jackie should be in charge of. Her bloke never shied away from his services for this country. Andy either steps out on this stage, or aunt Jackie picks a chimney for him. theres still plenty of em around. They say the truth hurts. No it doesn’t. only a coward fears the truth. The truth is, cousin andy`s said some very nasty things about some of us in the family. He has to say sorry for all that. granddad wouldn’t have let him talk the way he did, about his other grandkids. My walk of shame is, I stole from granddad. Andys, is sayin things like “ kim lived like an idiot, he died like one” cousin Linda is “pure evil”. Growin up, moes lot were “wogs or pakis”. Granddad wasn’t a bit racist. He doesn’t really have too much of a choice in this. inspite of everything, hes still family, and I like andy I have to say.The goofy git makes me laff.It doesn’t change anything though. He doesn’t prove himself by bein funny, unless its up there on stage with me. bringin his vast collection of family photos. And his supergenius pc knowledge. He told me there wasn’t anything he didn’t know about computers. Good, that’s who the pc wiz is in our lot. I know it aint me. I only use mine for one thing, writin this for my family and my country. George walker at kingsway would always say to me, “ yeh but what are they actually good for, do they make you money, what do you have at the end of the day with a pc. A telly with a keyboard”. Well George, this book is what I use my pc for. the perfect add on to a pair of highly creative hands. George used to joke about when grandma died. When I told him, he said “ what, another. is it the same one or is she on laggy bands ?” that was upsettin at the time. I can laugh about it now. im getting my revenge. On everyone that deserves it. theres one or two in the family that have a walk of their own to make. Those still unproven to themselves. Those that question themselves, could they have followed granddad. Last one up is a big Jessie, the first one up is a big Jesse. George was , for years deemed the best frame maker in England. then he worked alongside paul cherry. Kingsway king of bullshit. A volumne of the stuff, waitin to be written. george was number 2. george would tell us of the wild cats runnin loose in angraves factory. When they caught them, george put them in a sack, and battered them to death with his commander. Kittens too !!  The wild cats are all gone now george, you don’t use your commanders for that kind of work anymore. both georges. (a commander is a club shaped piece of wood, used for straightening cane out. ) I see it out here, and then I see it on the big stage. Why didn’t anyone try to tame one, instead of just killing them in the pitch black. Why didn’t anyone think to call the rspca ? if id seen him do that, id have took that fcukin commander off him, and battered his hands to a pulp. There really was no need to behave like that with another of gods creatures. Just like the war in iraq. There was no need for that either. these two could learn a lot from each other. They’ve got so much in common. The george I know wants to get away from cane, and into black smithing. His retirement hobby. He wants to learn an age old skill. These are the skills we should be learning. As well as new ones. If we forget all those trades that helped us along the way, we begin to forget our roots. Deep deep roots. How do you see the future..?  skyscrapers all over the world taking up every bit of inhabitable space there is..?  buildings going higher and higher, until we fill the whole sky, everywhere. That’s ultimately what will happen, if this doesn’t get the coverage it needs now. in the year 2004. that world will never happen, because this prevents it. when we are united through this, we have the means to make sure England will always be England. with green gardens and apple trees. I can get everyone off this planet before that happens. this earth is gods jewel in the universe. He wants it runnin as it should be. without all the shit goin on. When you have proof that when you hit someone, it comes back twice as hard, you stop hitting. When you’ve stopped hitting, you can begin to build up a trust in each other. A secret free society, unites all men and all faiths, all pulling in the right direction. Imagine if every nation on earth submitted every advancement they’ve made in the fights against aids and cancer, how much faster do we find the cures…?  These are all the incentives we need to start behaving like men, and not children. Make a check list of all the cures you need for the various illness`s. see how often you tick them off. those cures are out there. united we find them, divided it doesn’t matter. If we don’t all start working together, we`re all fcuked. Which world would you have your great grandchildren born in  ?  one with skyscrapers like in matrix, or one with English country gardens in. I know where my kids will be calling home. Leicester. And belgrave aint changing a bit. Other than duchess street, evans street, and justice street bein rebuilt.  And the chimney I have planned on the Langley house plot. This is all goin way above your head until you read the first book. I cant help that. I have to wake your imagination up. that percentage of the brain as yet unused, Ive found its purpose. That is the part of the brain that is reserved for your imagination, in a world where anythings possible. Your dreams can come true.  This book and the first book I wrote take up only a small part of that percentage.

My Victoria, was a truly amazing person. As special to me as Victoria is to beckham. Her honesty, sense of humour, and how much I meant to her, were all just a part of why she was / is special to me. she made me laugh loads. The things we got up to, will be hilarious when the world hears about this side of jesus`s life today. to understand womens issues, I had to get to know em as well as I could. Some of em, knew less about womens issues than I did. When I was out doin it with my mates, pubbin an clubbin, I met all kinds of women. between them they showed me everything I needed to know. i learnt from them all. only a few got on my list of 52. the rest are like the rest of the iceberg. Not ever having slept with a different colour person, has always been a regret. It wasn’t out of racism on my part. I always got knocked back by ethnics birds. 

People are always tellin me,that bein a single white male,livin in this country,is the most victimised minority.In the eyes of the law I am. In the eyes of god, the most victimised minority in society,is asian women.They get liberated with me!

My planned entrance and routine, the music playlist, for an audience with me at the haymarket.

One question I must have an answer to, it is extremely important I am told the truth. The consequences of lying to me, are catastrophic for mankind. Have we managed to pass through the radiation belt. Have we put a man on the moon. I need to know the truth about our capabilities. this is a question I want the bush administration to answer. Id also like to see whats goin on at area 51. also id like to know the truth about kennedy, the truth about bob marley, the truth about 2 pac, in short, you tell me everything I need to know. you don’t question my judgement. You carry out gods will. What dad left me in charge of.

Tonight in town while I was waitin for lee to turn up, I was stood outside Thomas`s. three georgeous birds went by. One of em said, “ hello david” I can only presume she was referring to beckham. Luvvitt. They could have been takin the piss for all I knew. It made me smile for reasons they don’t yet know. I didn’t mind at all. they could have just called me wanker, like they used to for no reason. When I walked like jack the lad.

Because I have beckhams looks, loads of people hate me for it. I have maybe the worst stereotype possible, when you combine it with my stubbornness. Of all the different ethnic backgrounds, different walks of life, those that dislike me more than any others, are fat bald blokes. Me bein athletically slim, with long blonde hair, id say theyre the other side of the coin. Black blokes with dredds right down their backs show me more respect than these fat fuckin jealous bastards. Beer bellies and receding hairlines. How the fuck is that my fault. I know exactly what its like livin with beckham. Victoria has all my sympathy.

If I told my sister I was dyin, without the book ive wrote, she would never get over the loss. It would be the worst pain she could suffer, after her kids and mam. If I told her iwouldnt be here in a years time, it would be like losin dad all over again to her. the only way I could take her pain away, would be to tell her this. I have to go out like dad did. Laughin all the way. This time, after the loss, there is no sadness. Ill be with dad, if I go up the way he did. When I get there, im helping sort the place out for the rest of the family when they join us.all our kids and their kids kids kids, theyre all goin to meet back up in the next world. heaven. my sis can be happy, that it was her big bro, who left this world knowing he had buit the bridge to heaven above us, and the map to heaven around us. Dad always told me, that being a man, wasn’t about drinking loads of beer, fighting and sleeping with loads of women. he said being a man, was all about doing what you had to, when the time came. A man will have his toes to the line. All any man can do, is prove himself to himself. No one else.

Blame it on the Bell Boy, or Leicesters  Del Boy. If something bad happens on the world stage, I see the reflection our here on the street. That reflection works both ways in time. it can happen to me first, or you lot first. one bad example. When me an kim, mouse matts sister, split up, she went around sayin all kinds of crap. Our baby was 2 weeks old, and she was goin off to work in a massage parlour. Whe cant massage to save her life. so what was she doin there. She was leaving my son, with a 12 year kid, and telling that kid, the baby wasn’t mine. Because I suffer from premature ejaculation. She was also goin round all the different lads down this cul de sac, where my family have lived for 32 years. my neighbours saw it all. one day she came over to see me for some reason. She sat at my table in the backyard, laffin. “I see your all on your own again then”. she was being abused by those very same lads when I got together with her. She`s the last person id choose if I could pick my ideal. Thick, no conversation, no morals, and however small and frail she looks, you wont find a bigger minger anywhere in this book. when I first found out she was givin those lads head while pregnant  with my kid, I went mad. I went over to no 19 to give her a a few homes truths. I stood on the stepp shoutin for the whole street to hear. My dirty washin, I don’t give a fcuk who hears it. about 10 minutes after I got baqck, there was quite a knock at the front door. As I opened it, mouse matt stepped into the doorway. It took me by surprise a bit. He started spoutin the odds about me goin over threatenin his mam and sister. I told him to fcuk off, I told them the truth. Theres a difference. Because he saw I didn’t back down to his big mouth, he whipped a carving knife out from his belt behind his back. He put it to my throat and told me he was goin to cut my head off. as the knife came out, it startled me for a second. I took a step back, caught my back foot and stepped into the light. Go on then do it you spineless little cunt. Do the fcuker. He was still telling me what he was goin to do to me, as he was walkin up the steps. Then I started shoutin again for the street to hear. I wanted plenty of witness`s, seeing him walk back across the street, with his tail between his legs. I know the real reason he did that, an it was nothing to do with his mam or sister. he hates his sister. he came across like that, because he wanted to back me down. so he could look a man in adams eyes. if he didn’t have adams friendship, theres no way he would’ve come across like that. our lee went to see him that night. He was like a jelly on a plate so lee said. I told matt on the step, when he came across. Shitbags like you were slittin womens throats not so long ago. hes a mate now. forgiveness for other peoples irrational behaviour, is the best way forward. We are a long time dead. Our souls see everything we see in life.

BOB MARLEY HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD WHEN HE SANG, “HAVE NO FEAR FOR ATOMICE ENERGY, FOR NONE O THEM CAN STOP THE TIME, HOW LONG SHALL THEY KILL OUR PROPHETS”, HE WAS ONE OF THEM HIMSELF.

One winter night me an lee were walkin back from the boozer. Early February. I suggested we jog home as it was so cold. Lee told me, “fuck that, im walkin”. At this , I told him he was the unfittest bloke id ever met. He immediately started getting upset wi me. all the way home he kept on at me. offerin me out. he wanted a fight. as we got home, I cut across the garden to get the door open. As mark answered the door, I told him to ave a word wi lee. As I said it, lee shoved me through the doorway, into the living room door. I span round instinctively. The hit he took, was pure venom. You just don’t hit me from behind, whoever you are. He left the ground for about feet feet goin backwards. He didn’t even bedn at the knees. I hit him that fast. A velocity you wont find in anyone elses fists, anywhere on earth. When dad called me evil, I know what he meant now. you will just think im evil. I do what I do, because I must. For what I must undertake, my actions, I answer to god for it at the end of this life.  The reason I have this efficient savagery, is because I have needed it to keep me safe all these years. As he shoved me through the doorway, the door began to bounce back as I threw my fist at him. how I missed the door was a miracle. As he landed it closed shut behind him on its own. Needless to say dad went berserk at me.he was a seriously mental bloke when it came to family fallin out.you just didn’t do that in our house. The loyalty dad instilled in all of us, he instilled it so we had it for easch other.Marks lost his way a bit these last few years. he`s doin exactly what I did. Stayin with the kids at every personal cost mentally. Livin wi someone you don’t love is a mental suffering,lots of women endure. Many men do also.12 years to the day I hit lee, he broke his neck. He died for 2 ½ minutes. Most of em ive hit didn’t get back up. the rapists didnt

Dad saw what matt did, he saw how I handled it, just like he sees how jeeves is behaving around my sister. she didn’t make our God mothers funeral, because he wasn’t happy for terri to leave the kids with wendy. He doesn’t trust them. Coming from a bloke that wouldn’t pick his daughter up for the first 6 months, fuckin wanker. Because he had a hard time getting over the death of his mam. Diddums. I remember him telling our terri to kncok her out, because wshe was moanin about something. He shouted it down the stairs. Ill never forget it. telling someone to knock your own mother out. Neither did he ever help sis in the night with the kids. Sis took care of it all. while that bastard lay there snoring, and very probably shoutin at sis to keep them quite. He went to work ! he did his share then. I averaged 62 ½ hours a week when my twins were born. my dad lay dying of boner cancer. Someone I did love, with all my heart. I got up every night with the kids. Every night. The shit he comes out with, hes only lowering his rope further. Since they split, sis has started buyin clothes. From the playboy range. She`s contributin to the pron industry accordin to dave. That should suit a wanker like him. hes been to a few lap dancing clubs. And he has a selection of porn an dvd. Hes been putting it around, that sis has slept with one of daves old workmates. Hes sayin this blokes got some kind of sexually transmitted desease. Hes made the whole fuckin thing up. he just wants to make terri look dirty, so no one will go near her. just like I had many times with different girls over the years. when some people cant let go, they do the daftest things. Embarrassing yourself like this isn’t good for your ego in the long run. Sis aint allowed to bring anyone home to the house where his kids sleep. I can understand that. that’s how I felt. The difference is, I wasn’t threatening to kick lisa`s mates heads in. I knew I had to be a man about it and let lisa do her own thing. Having the kids at home with her 24 / 7, its difficult for women in this position. neither, did I go telling lisa I had 9 crackin birds all after me. wantin to do this that an the other to me. I had loads more. They didn’t come along all at the same time, like Adonis dave has it. if he wants to fcuk with my sister, hes fuckin with the wrong persons sister. im goin to crucify him thru this book. im going to shame him in front of the whole world. his actions are all his doing. He stands like a man on his own two feet. He stands like a man with his toes to the line, and accepts full credit for all his actions. He answers to god for it at the end of this life, if he doesn’t make amend for it in this life. hes telling sis that someone in our family has been spreadin rumours aout her. he wouldn’t say who. Hes tryin to turn terri`s world inside out, so wont trust even her own family. That will never happen wanker, we can both see thru everything youre doin. An now its our turn to wear the kickin boots. His sister, reckons I slept with her years ago. she bullshits just like he does. When sis and wanker split up before, this slag of a sister, was goin to turn up out the blue, and take away all daves mams stuff. Washer, cooker, fridge, the essentials needed to keep her nephew and niece comfortable. She was goin to pull the ladder up on sis. A vile foul mouthed bitch who needs takin down a peg or two as well. She claimed to her brother, she was raped by an Indian lad as a teenager. That’s why I didn’t want to go there. I couldn’t follow that. id be too wooried about bringing on a flashback, and then get accused of rape. No chance. When a bird says yes, it aint always a good idea. When a bird says no, she means it. I have wo very good ears, that always listend when I heard that little word. No. Even in the height of passion. I climbed down when I had to.

Tonight I watched the battle of Britain on the telly. Them raf lads in world war 11, they really did epitomise all that is good about England. why god chose this country, a long time ago. the English spirit, this island nation psychology, you will never take England. never. God just simply will not allow it. neither will I when I take my seat at gods table. England will always be England. our country gardens will stay for ever. in gods eyes, they are worth dying for. keeping our land safe, will always be the number 1 priority of the akiens. you don’t need to worry about aliens coming, the akiens are already here, them aliens just don’t stand a chance. We have god on our side, infinitely more powerful than anything alien. This world, is the jewel in gods crown. He wont let anything ever end all life on earth. Mankind, is one aspect of life on earth. The lifeform that has the capability to put right all the wrongs mankind has brought on this world. it is gods will, that we repair the damage we have caused.

One film really played a big part in my life. it inspired me.  the soundtrack, the story, the whole lot grabbed me. the wanderers. A 1979 film about the Bronx in the 60`s. the lead role played by ken whal, his twin down here is a bouncer in Leicester called simon lester. I took a tooth out his mouth one day at wolsey house. The most memorable song in the film for me has to be stand by me by ben e king. I found his twin when I was 16. colin Campbell. Another bouncer. But one with more about him than kens twin.a proper hard fcuker.

When I was in glenfield nuthouse, the staff weren’t much help really. The system didn’t allow it. the doctor asked me question I was answerin at 5 years old. One that stuck in my mind was “ do you believe I can read your mind” that kind of seed planting just aint gonna wash wi me. when my dad told me I was too strong mentally, to ever be taken, he wasn’t jokin. The best therapy came in 2 visits. One was from uncle terry, aunt mary and aunt trish. Theother visit, was from my cousin pete. He came all the way from Durham to see me. fcukin shame I was down the day centre on the pc typin some of this out eh. Their two visits, meant more than any other therapy I got from there. when yore in the shit, the akiens that know theyre akiens come when you need em. I need em now. boy do I need em now. they help me up on the world stage. Like the swelling around a wounded leg, I need my family to gather round me like that. they can help prepare me for what I have to do. They can equip me with their stories. I am the one who has to walk out onstage and tell them to the world.

Leicesters  Dirty Del Boy Beckham. Delboy is forever getting rodders to do things, cos their mum said it on her death bed. My dads death bed took him over 6 months to die. Of bone cancer. The laffs we had thru out that time, you`l find hard to believe. there were loads of things my dad told me on his death bed. They all make perfect sense now. I thought they made perfect sens then, but I wasn’t looking at everything as I should be.

King of the hill. As I look out at window, I see all the factories. Factories I climbed all over as a kid. the one at the top of the hill is kingsway. The place I worked at for 15 +years, as their Rapper. I had a bet with my best mate loz Hadley. The bet was, who`s king. a different kind of bet. one I won. The bronze coloured dog tag I wear around my neck, says king on it. my granddad engraved it for me, with his right hand, 13 years before I was born. all those factories I see, imagine how much money they’ve all made between them, since I first looked out of it in 1972.. im the estate kid who`s been watchin over them, now im gonna make more money than they could ever hoped to earn. In just a few days. I played my part in that system for over half my life. it didn’t work fer me, so I started up on my own after I left. Writin this literary masterpiece. The difference bein, I don’t want to keep all that money for myself. I want to share it out amongst my family and friends. Their happiness is my happiness. One day at kingsway me an loz were looking at the calender. One bird in it didn’t look up to much. The body was great but the boat race, needed attanetion. So we did our own cosmetic surgery. I cut geri halliwells face out of a newspaper, and me an loz glued it on the calender birds mush. We were lucky to get a calender off dave. usually we had to nick one. He wanted to keep all the pin up calendars, just like he always kept all the bottles of plonk he got off the reps. One year he got a bottle of whisky. He doesn’t like whisky, so he sold it mickey. Tight bastard. That’s nothing on the gaffer tho. Hes got shitloads of bottles of all sorts stockpiled at home. “we keep them for when we get visitors”! fcuk off, he was never at home to see any visitors. His house with jan was a second home. in all the years I never heard of one single botlle bein opened. Why the fcuk doesn’t he just dish them all out to the lads, for free. that wont happen for one very good reason. It smacks too much of like father like son. one Christmas, the gaffer got a load of swiss army knives for us with the points he got from the diesel the lorry used. the tight git knocked a tenner off the Christmas box ! we used to add on a penny in our wage books, just to see if one day one of us would get away with it. I don’t think anyone did. Until I get the apology I deserve off them, im gonna enjoy wearin the kickin boots.

Out here in the Real world, everyone knows a hard bastard. I know who I am. The sort of bloke that stands on his own two feet. Like the time I got nicked. I didn’t have a solicitor. I wanted to tell the truth, whatever the outcome. That polise interview will be priceless. Im in the middle of insania still.

When I step out onstage, it will be just like goin up to the big school for me. like Lauren just has. That’s how ready I am. It will be daunting, but ill walk that walk. When the world knows my name. I remember paul wheeler commentin on how cool my name sounded. Scott akiens. he said it with an American accent for some reason. Then doogie reminded him who I was and they both laughed. “The person aint exactly cool is he”. I wasn’t then. I was just honing all my skills then. learnin my trade. If theyd have stepped out wi me in Kavos, id have put em all to shame. Good lads who`d back you in a fight. because great granddad took under privileged kids away on holiday, when he was head of the freemasons, the buffalo`s, I think he would like it if I did the same. I wanna take all those kids that cant fly, thru that channel tunnel. When we get to the seaside overseas, I want every resort to get closer to dolphins. If theres proof this working relationship shows clear signs of improvement to their quality of life, then we owe it them to give them that. these are the sorts of changes that we would all welcome in our own image of heaven on earth. Ive got shitloads of changes to make. Everyone of em will make you piss. Or it will just simply blow your mind. God above would wish for these changes. Those children less fortunate than others, I cant see how keeping them in care homes helps that much, when the benefits of travel and experience, can now let them live in a more independent world than thought possible before. I saw that woman on the telly, whos parents were making provisions for their downs daughter, after they died. You can only admire her courage. To go out and live in this world, with all her disadvantages. i.e from those that stereotype,ridicule, and much worse in many cases. They can do it if we support them. You`ll see all kinds of hidden genius`s crop up. with a new found freedom, they find new inspiration, just as we all do. From the suicide bombers, to the pope and everyone one else, freedom is here. the world we all live in, can stop fighting, and start writing.

To the vicar and all the religions, im the messiah. The one. the prophet of god. Everything they could ever wish for, if only they could see it. To the workin man in the street, you tell me if im theirs too. The messiah, is a football, my sweet chariot that swings low, is my right nike trainer. Not only do I bring fantasy football home, I chuck girlpower in to bring on the greatest superpower this world could ever see.

The last couple of years at kingsway, loz was my best mate. He worked next to me on my right. although the old lads had all left, we still had loads of laffs. I helped him write his texts out to certain individuals. He made me laff with his stories, I made him laff with mine. He once went to a BBQ when England were playin, in a germany top. we played them that day. the last game at Wembley !!I can remember hearing on the news once, a few years ago now. of a dictactor and his wife getting wxucuted on Christmas day. that was some test to god, doing that on the most special of his days in the calender. Whoever did that on that day, their families behind them paid a price. It is wrong to execute people, just as its wrong to watch them starve, or suffer in any way. The good Samaritan in the bible, these vicars round here aint read that chapter surely.

 Wendy an adam at no.9, are good friends of mine today. both have said things that have meant the world to me. adam told me he`d kill anyone who ever touches me or my family. A bloke with quite a bit of violence in his past. the world he grew up in, you wouldn’t want your kids to have. Its no surprise he has a violent past, when you hear of the life he had growin up. a ginger haired bloke whos lost his hair, is one of the last people I would ever expect to be such a very good mate. Wendy told me, she would trust me with their kids. After the time ive had, and what people are sayin about me still, that means a lot. That at least one person can see im perfectly ok. To  look after someones kids, you couldn’t be given a greater level of trust. Put that together with the violence, and you will see why it means so much. Corey being born on laurens birthday, id say theyre 2 halves of the same kid. if we all think like that, about all kids, weather they share the same birthday or not, its goin to give them a much happier, safer life ahead of them. When I see kids, I know how special they are to someone. I look out for them in our street, as if they were all mine. Playin football with the kids in the street, has been the best therapy I could have. Them doctors and psychiatrists didn’t help much. All they wanted to do, was keep me dosed up to the eyeballs. They didn’t want to talk about my problems. They all had a good laugh about them behind my back. That aint paranoia either. my first night on the ward, I saw one of the NA`s. or whatever they call em now. some somalian bloke. He stood in the doorway, as another new patient walked through the doorway. I heard him say as this patient got out of earshot, “is that the one ? ” then he burst out laughin. His name was DIDI  summat or other. I spoke to him on quite a few occasions. To take the piss basically. Ive saved the biggest pisstakes till last. And hes in there with all those other idiots who thought they could get away with takin the pisss out of me. he who laughs last, laughs louder, and longer than anyone else can ever possibly hope to achieve. He was a good bloke really, but I don’t see how these people are any good at their job. professionalism should have kept that line behind closed doors in the office. Lisa wasn’t very professional about her job come the end of it. she went into it thinking she was a budding freud. Little did she know, the greatest psycholigist the world has seen for a very very long time, was behind her, doin manual work all along.

If you want your soul to reach the end of the line, and you want god to take you off to that place we call hell, you rape a child, kill someone, youre outta here. the place where youre goin, its an eternity of suffering.

What being an akiens means to me, I will try to put it into words. The pride I feel for my name, it is unsurpassable. All the crap ive gone through, has been no different to theirs. Just in a different way. A different suffering, with different achievements.mine on the ground are those that give back the akiens proud name. im just doin the job I was meant to do. A direction no one else could travel. Into the past. evil fears nothing, only justice and the truth. I am all of those.

One day when I was about 13, kim our jack russel managed to get through the fence in the back yard. There was a staff in the garden of one of the houses on beaumnot leys lane. Trudy or Julie or summthin. She only had three teeth. She was swingin kim round like a rag doll. When we managed to get kim out, she`d lost an ear. When we put her down, she went straight back to try again. up for ote kim was. next door had a Yorkshire terrier called pinzer. It jumped up our mark when he was 2, and bit him in the face. that was why I was never scared of dogs. I couldn’t be, because mark was. after that dog died, they got another Yorkshire terrier. one day kim got out as Sandra was walkin him to her house at number 8. mother and daughter both lived on billo. As kim darted past samdra, she snatched the Yorkshire terrier, and dragged it underneath a parked car. So she could give it a pastin uninterrupted. It died of a heart attack some time later. Kim was worse than pete, but a fraction of the efficiency pete had. Scrappy and Scooby, dad called em. I saw a lad the other day, I didn’t know him but he knew sid. He stopped to admire him like so many do. He told me that American pitbulls are now called the new Yorker. So they can import them. I don’t want vicious dogs comin over here, whatever the fcuk you call em. the whole world believes, that the American pitbull is the daddy of all dogs. Or maybe that Japanese one is. none of em are. You can believe the yanks hype, but this dog of mine, is the dogs. If he were nasty, there is no other dog on this planet, capable of takin him. just like other men haven’t with me. he is the gladiator of the canine race. To quote from books ive read on the breed ; “so many times we hear reports of a dog going mad and killing 4 or 5 dogs or cats in as many minutes. Sadly, thankfully, that is an untrue bill sykes and bullseye stereotype. Another; “Full of fire, but sweet of disposition and amenable to discipline. This dog has a real love of life, and for those he cares for, and an equal hatred, for those who threaten the lives defended by the English bull terrier. especially children”

When I watched Tysons fallen champ video, he said a few things that made perfect sense. He said, “people suck basically. No matter how hard you work for your money, people are working just as hard to take it away from you”. true. Im working very hard to take all the money off everyone.

When I was a baby, I had a weak chest. I was born with it. in mams own words, she said I was a very sickly baby, prone to infections. Dad kept my cot at his side of their bed. So he could listen for my breathing. Loads of times they thought id died. I never kept anything down me. after every feed id bring it all back up. I never cried though. I didn’t walk or talk until I was 2 years old. From that point on, I just took off. I climbed before I could walk. In dads eyes, I was a miracle baby. I made it through, because I was meant to go through it. 2 days before dad died, me an sis arranged to go up to see him at loros. Id been working late and felt very tired. I told sis id take the next day off to go and see him first thing. No matter how tired I was, I just couldn’t sleep. I had to go and see dad, just in case he passed away with no one around him. I got to loros about 12.30 am. The open visiting times was a real blessing to me. the most wonderful people work there. they made dads last few days so much better. ive always wanted to repay them for that somehow. I just sat with dad for a couple of hours. he was out of it on morphine. I sat holding his hand, telling him all the thingsd I wished id told him when he was well. I kept teling him how much I loved him, and I told him stories. I didn’t care who listened, I just knew I had to tell dad. even if he wasn’t conscious. I sat listening to his breathing, praying it wouldn’t stop. Just like dad did with me at 18 evan street belgrave, when I was just a baby. however weak my chest was as a baby, it housed the heart of a lion. The heart that beated with gods blessing. He made sure this heart was well and truly tested. That heart beats today, with more love inside it for this world than any other. However much I despise the world I live in today, I can see its true potential. United, we can bring the heavens down to earth.

Mr jeeves the wanker of late, has also been actin a wanker in belgrave. Some asian bloke bumped into him in the jungle. He was startin on people. He needs a short sharp shock. Dads waitin for him in that next eternal world. this makes him the happiest bloke alive, when he`s ready to say sorry. At the minute, hes apologizing for nothng. A law unto himself. His misery ends through this. the sooner he lets go of sis, the better off he will be. I like dave, he became family the day james was born.

One bloke I met at glenfield, told me what sent him over the edge. It made me feel like crying, and it made me feel like going back to my roots. I had evil thoughts. Very evil. He told me he went out one night with his missus, and when they got home, his little boy was there to meet them as they came in the door. Only a toddler. He had tears running down his face and blood running down his leg. The baby sitter acted like a monster. He was taken away and crucified to a tree. He was tortured for what he did to that poor little boy. Tell me god didn’t allow that to happen, when his son was crucified for only trying to fill the world with love and joy. just as I have been trying to since spetember 11^th 2001. I enjoyed his account of retribution, it was justified in gods eyes, because they didn’t get caught. He ended up in a wheelchair. He is lucky to be alive today. maybe that’s his punishment. Hs name will go down in history in the same cateogory as ian Huntley. An accolade only these people can earn themselves. Like craig daffern. “daff”. He folloew his birds 13 year old daughter in the shower. He needed lynchin for that. especially after he batters the girls mam. Another monster. Jeeves stayin with him, are like 2 peas in a pod. Him bein born on august 23^rd at midnight, combined with all the death threat hes made this week on my family, id say if im jesus, hes the devil in person. The damned. David aurthur magson. D.A.M. if hes damned, im justice.

Today September 11^th, as I was walkin along Beaumont leys lane on my way to score, Julie pulled up at the side of me.a fellow patient at glenfield. We stopped to chat for about 10 or 15 minutes. When i first came out of glenfield, she let me use her computer. She even trusted me with a key. That shows how mad I must have been behaving doesn’t it. theres a few coincidences in birthdays with Julies family. I noticed a pattern when she told me her families, casually, as you do. Her granddaughter, was born on September 4^th. The date dad passed away. I found something good that happened on that day. all their birthdays fall on dates that coincide with ours. If you had them all, youd see the pattern. Like a reflection of time, carved in stone one day, and no one wouldve noticed. Just like they haven’t with our dates of births and deaths over the years. I know that de ja vu is carved in stone in your families history behind you. unchangeable history. when you have your family tree completed, the last 400 years worth, write every date in a one year diary. every birth, marriage and death. You will be amazed at how many hotspots you have. Those days most likely to suffer a loss, and dates most likely to celebrate a birth. Scientists can work out from your dna when youre goin to die apparently. You can figure it out yourself on paper with this. like anything, its easy when you know how. Im the Stephen hawkings of our family, on life. when you’ve added all those dates, and you discover the day you leave,there is nothing at all to be afraid of. If you can work out the date you die, you can work out where and when you pick up again. it removes the fear of death, and it removes the sadness of death.

Things ive collected along the way, are all logged on disk, either written about and photographed where possible. If you went through them like the coppers did, it would blow your mind. “My tool kit” comprises of all sorts of weapons. When I had the world comin at me a while ago, I prepared for the worst. Evil reappeared because he had to. as my dad saw me make them through my eyes, he saw to it no one called. Back then I would have come out like a spider to flys. Its that clear cut. I wont lose to one person. With that dog beside me, don’t want this double act comin at you that way. Not when we`d sooner bring a football out. a much more acceptable plaything, than the bull jaw. Or my rip saw blades ive made knives out of. Not to mention the set of scalpels. The truth always comes out in the end. You have to know all this at some point. The rage my great granddad, granddad, and mt dad had, I have it exactly the same as they did. In my case, I was misunderstood and got sectioned. Because of a vicars lack of self belief. I leave this world with his soul in my pocket. He tested the son of god. His punishment you just wouldn’t want ti. Hes forgiven only by me in this world, when he calls to apologize. One handshake is all it takes. That will tell me he is ready to believe and ready to help finally. As the church of England representative in my parish. The jesus ball thing is a massively important religious artifact. The police have iit at present along with everything else. The bull jaw I would like the police to donate to the black museum, after ive used it for the purpose it was intended for. to rehabilitate ian Huntley. With a 110% garauntee he will never re offend. He has an earnt audience with the kid called evil. Justice with a god given strength. Complete focus and ability. The climbing belt dad left me, I still have that. I still have my old workboots, with holes in the bottom. I could still whip one in wearin em. but the nikeys give me more accuracy. Beckham verses evil akiens, live on billington. Head to head. Who hits who the most, and who hits who the hardest. It’s a much better option than fists, gloved or otherwise. Then me mam an Sid get whisked off to their place. The others can come when we sort rooms out. when the beckhams meet the akiens, he meets them all. hes met the adams, and from what I can see, its gone a bit pair shaped. This brings them back together as well. As beckham would wish for. all his dreams really do come true with my help. For now I need his help. Ugently. When we meet finally, I pray that my teeth haven’t fell out. theyre working loose and me being ignored aint helping. Do I sound like I have the confidence and self belief to do what I say I must ? I have no choice but to try. While im doing that, my dad will never give up on me. he told me that always in life. he has the power to help me, if you help me. his reasoning, is you made a mess of things last time, he sees you making them all over again. he`s seen me suffer in silence long enough. If he wants me out of here, its cos hes given up on you, not me. you just aint gonna see anything like our meeting ever again. you should be doing all you can to get this news to as many people as possible. To witness the two halves of Christ coming together, there can be no greater event anywhere in the world. ever. some of the people ive told, have had accidents and misfortunes. My dad it seems, punishes them for me. if you keep this a secret, you can surely expect to play witness, to some very unhappy times ahead. Telling everyone you can, will ensure only good things happen to you.  to everyone on earth. The kids down billo see enough shit. Why not give em something to take all those crappy memories away.

I always said at kingsway, if I won the lottery, id keep it secret, and id test everyone by askin them to lend 50 quid because I was so so desperate. Those that helped me would reep the benefits of that good Samaritan act. In publishin this, I hit that lottery jackpot, that could see a 50 quid investment become a billionaires passport to the world. even the thickest of kingsway workers would see that 50 quid as bein a sound investment. They get a copy of this for that 50 quid. They never realised how rich I really was. my fortune ive had to sit on, until I was ready for it. I hit the ground walkin, an walkin casually at that. this time tho, its what you see is what you get time. im not goin to pretend anything. I always said id do it to my family as well. If I cant afford the copies, theres not a lot I can do, is there. theylle enjoy their 50 quids worth more than anyone. im just telling it like it is. I need help financially,or I need resources.All those 50 quids, just look at it like youre givin me your Xmas box from the gaffer. Who nows, when the gaffers read it,he might see sense an help me out.Maybe he`ll pay for everyones.Ill be friends again if he can make that very small token gesture. It will enable me to finance this further, and print off updates daily. I can email all the stories about kingsway not yet written. I can send everything over the net.I need help financially with that as well. Everything I had and everything I have has gone into this.I pretty much had to sacrifice everything. Because I knew the importance of finishin it, and the impact it will have on the world. ive worked night and day, alone in secrecy.Because that was the only way.Don’t confuse this with a begging letter, nor is it blackmail. Its me crying out for help from anyone I can get to help me. I need to be getting these books all over the net. ASAP. Im not responsible for my dads actions, you are. Take the clock off the wall when you read it. that’s how it makes it timeless. There are a number of things written in the first book, that I have to add to this. it helps you make sense of it more easily.Ive done this so that this goes out before the other complete first book. this sells that.  the first book in a nutshell, has me starting out as a kid called evil. What I did to earn that name, will blow your mind. I have had the mental battle with evil all my life. through this book, good overcomes evil. All of it, everywhere.                           

What was said tonight. Andy called me a genius. After I showed him my picture of my hair in dredds, he told me I could sell myself on “that internet”. No I cant, because no one ever believed it was me before.

Goin to work on an egg, how about goin to church on an e. begin my work on a high. last night I had my 1^st e ever. I gave ronaldo half tho. It didn’t really affect me I don’t think. They told me id feel very chatty and chirpy. I always am when im with friends. These friends especially. Theyre like a second family. Billo today is better than ever in my eyes. all the arguments and rifts can be sorted out in no time. everyone on our street has a story to write. One that will make all of em billionaires. Their families history,their journey,that brought them to billo.To live on the street that jesus lived on for all these years unknown.I din’t know myself until a few years ago.when I realised, I went thru shocks I can only compare to a woman in childbirth. David beckham will undergo similar shocks when he realises. Like me he`ll get thru it. with my help, he gets thru it without all the crap I had to go thru, tryin to make sens of it all.

 Natasha beddingfield,got slated by a critic,for using the word keats in her song.I think that songs a wicked track. These words are mine. When these critics have earnt their acclaim as most of their victims have, then theyre in a position to crit icise. Until then, shut the fcuk up. has beens are have beens, you are yet to bes.

Sids health is not what it was just as mine aint.He needs lookin at just the same as i do

When I was visiting father phillip in October 2002, I asked him for a bible. There were loads all over the place in st lukes church. I doubt he would ever see the day all of them were in use. I asked him for my lifestory 2000 years ago. he told me no, I couldnt have a bible. i did manage to get my hands on one eventually. On September 18^th 2004. when I saw the kids at the holy trinity contact centre, I nicked one.

Billo even has sheree blairs twin. But with a bit more fire.

i am the greatest story teller alive today. simply because I have the greatest story to tell. When I go out onstage, I want all my family ready, to go out on stage with me. they all make up part of the family that forged me, into who I am today. the SteepleJacks Lad. Born to climb everything down on the ground.

One time at kingsway, wheeler told me about a payrise everyone got a few months before. When I had the gaffer about it, he said straight away, il backdate it for you. which he did, true to his word. I only got yje basic backdated. At 55+ hours a week back then, that made up a fair few quid. I worked it out at the time. it took me ages goin thru my diaries to find out how many hours I worked. He thought he was bein clever.  In my mind, im pretty sure he did it all purposely. He knew he had nothing to lose in how he did it. it was just a simple mistake. Lie fcuk was it. he would be argued if he wasn’t sure. he knew the longer I didn’t realise, hed be savin more an more pennies.

Today watchin to buy or not to buy, I got de ja vu. Mel an the little bald bloke were havin a bit of banter, in melton Mowbray. Mel made a comment, “seeya, wouldn’t wanna be ya.” That exact same comment, came to me from a bird in melton. Id just finished it with her,and she was telling me her dad was after me. Nicola, was mickeys daughter at kingsway. The delivery boy. How we got together was wicked. A classic. If only they were all this easy. Everytime mick would mention nic, id say,”fcukin `ell mick id give her some.”Pure wind up.Id be the last person on this earth in micks eyes, my reputation went against me. at kingsway they knew I went from one to another. When nic came to the factory, I always had a laff with her. we got on well. One day, mickey left his phone on his bench. I pounced. “Ello nick, this is scots phone number if you wantto send him a text.” A minute or two later we were chattin each other up. a result. Mick invitied me over for dinner with the family. A roast. The table looked beautiful I have to say. I commented on how nice it all looked, an mickey told me they always ate like this. why didn’t any of em use the napkins rolled up then. mick even took me over in his car. Mine was off the road at that time. everything looked picture perfect. It surprised me that mick had accepted me so easily. Then I had a conversation about it all wi loz, my best mate. He said “micky stood there with one hand on his hip, and one on his forehead, an he said, I just cant believe she`s seein him” the two faced little shit. When I dumped her, it was for all the right reasons. We weren’t right for each other, and I always vowed I wouldn’t live with someone for their sake ever again. micky never said a word to me. he gave his family the impression he ran things at kingsway to a point. He dint. He was just a worker like me. except I weren’t an ass kisser. When he reads this, he`ll laff about it. whats the point in him getting the arse, when that relationship has made his adughter a very very rich woman. She went on to meet someone and have a kid. she`s happy so I last heard. That’s all I wanted for her. at the time, they couldn’t see it. her mam just blanked me. Far richer than what her husband can ever give her. she took up kung fu and met a blackbelt. Good luck to em. 

The night tom took his life. a chapter I think is best left to lisa and her mum. For one thing, it gets the pair of em started off writin. Addin to this second book. they have the intelligence between them to write perfect chapters. Both very very clever. More than they realise at the minute. At the contact centre yesterday sept 18^th 04, Lauren told me lisa had to borrow some money off someone for food. I could see immediately that Lauren was told to say it. I felt like shit I have to say. Guilt I deserve to feel. Im in no position financially to help out. makin lisa happy is a priority to me. before I can make the kids happy, I have to make lisa happy. I can do that. Whenever things went wrong, it was all my fault. When lisa realises`s she`s the mother of the trinity in the here an now, she may feel those same shocks I felt. The same beckham may feel. She can have all the money she wants if she earns it. she does that by writing her way out of the shi* now. the fightin and arguing has to end sometime. One quest Ive had in life, was to find someone who can cook chicken fricasse school dinner style. I never found that person. Lisa makes the most perfect lasagne ive tasted anywhere. We all have hidden talents, we don’t realise are gifts. If there was an Olympic event for thinking, just give me the gold now.

Last night 27^th September, jeeves wanker magson turned up pissed. Threatening to kill everyone. I could hear him from upstairs sayin all this shit about havin sis kneecapped. He had a go at me outside earlier, but it was all wind. I could see he was just here to try and bully the family. I couldn’t go downstairs to terri, because it would’ve made matters worse. He had a knife up his sleeve. As always. He can only hide behind knives and other people. The most spineless bastard I know. he was telling sis he`s got protection. He`s untouchable. Well he aint untouchable at all. because all this shit is his walk of shame. After he`d gone, it came out he booted my mam. I couldn’t do what I wanted to, because of making sure this gets finished. I cant put myself at risk, knowing what I know. the patience I have, tells me its just a matter of time before I sort out all these wankers that keep coming at us. The vicar leaves us to suffer in this world, when I should be ruling it. as with everyone else, jeevs has only himself to blame for lowering his own rope. Wendy had a go at me for stayin upstairs. I don’t blame her at all for that. I expect it. wendy an adam don’t know about what I have to do. I don’t want my family to go through any of this shit. But I have to do things in my own time my way. I knew terri would be ok. I was stood in my bedroom doorway listenin to the bullshit that was comin out his mouth downstairs. I had sids lead Rapped round my hand, I was ready to run down and unleash hell on the bastard. If I did what I felt like doin, id be carted straight off to a mental unit, then where would we be. its for these reasons I have to take so much. It isn’t forever though. We wouldn’t be and shouldn’t be goin through this. we should be 2 years into heaven. instead we`re forced to suffer in silence, through their ignorance. Apparently, im not fit to wear the name akiens. jeevs told me. his actual words were, “ive spoke to all the lads, stu, everyone, an they all say what a wanker you’ve turned into.” These are the kinds of things ive had to bite my lip over. Not many vicars see that kind of behaviour. As he stood there in front of me, telling me how he was gonna kill all my family, I felt like burstin out laughin. He`s a joke that aint funny.Theres quite a few of these pricks about. snake and I had a disagreement of sorts. Snakes one of jeevs allies. A right nutter, apparently. What happened was, one night me and the lads were in town. We bumped into his missus in boogie wonderland. She was steamin, and the two people were too busy with each other, to care about her. she was fallin all over the place. When these two introduced themselves as cousins, I said they were sick. They didn’t like it, and they concocted some bullshit story I got off wi deb. Snake was goin to do a job on me, on sight, even if my kids were with me. needless to say, it was a worrying time. and once again, I was innocent. I helped the woman downstairs because she couldn’t walk by herself. I went home thinking id done tha bloke a favour. The truth came out and he battered the girl for it. he told me through jeeves, that if his missus had come on to me, I shouldve slapped her. for one thing, I can imagine how much that would piss me off, compared to tryin it on. And for another, who gives him permission to smack his missus. Our mark told me, that our cousin steven doesn’t get on with snake funnily enough. Snake meets steven bhatia, who sounds the likely winner in that equasion…, youd be very wrong. Steven bhatia, has a venom snake cannot cope with.

Katie mary akiens magson, is so special to me for lots of reasons. If God allows no favouritism, why do some have so much in common. It isn’t favouritism, when you see every child will have someone who thinks theyre special. Aunt moe was mine.she saw I was special in her own way. The akiens that gives all the others, the good name he feels he`s taken away, with all his mad behaviour. I never did anything of the sort. I stood like an akiens every time, and was deeply misunderstood. Now im ready to stand like an akiens proper, an akiens proven.

The latest update on our adolf, is the sort I was expectin. I could see it comin. Marks ex work mate chicken, aka mark smith, has took it upon himself to take things too far with our marks wife. 2 to tango n `all that. she told our mark she donmnt love him, and chicken wants to bring up marks kids as his own. He wants to take on, 2 akiens children, does he…? Well theres a few little things he ought to know about the akiens. namely, we`re the family whos about to explode onto this world stage. Hes comin with us. His walk of shame is one im gonna make sure our mark enjoys. He works hard for his wife and kids, only to have it thrown back in his face. just like I had it with lisa. exact same scenario. Our family just aint good enough for them. They look at us like we`re dirty, when we aint at all. inside we are all as clean as angels.

Some of the people that got swindled out of redundancy in the past at kingsway, well all of them to be honest. I don’t think anyone ever got what they should have got. Even gaz winkler, their cousin. He was one of the rappers when I first started there. after a week of me starting, he left. I was pluggin, rubbing down, sanding parts at the time. all the shitty jobs you find at the bottom of the ladder. I started in the September of 86, and was laid off on my 17^th birthday. I did get a weeks money redundancy that time tho. About 50 quid. I went in every Saturday, doin more shitty little jobs. One of them, was cutting webbing straps for the seats on the suites. I had to clamp a buckle on each end, that slotted into a groove on the seats. Stretchin them across is quite a physical job. he told me that that job has a piece work value. 3 p per strap. Initially, he wouldn’t give me the job on piecework. He was only too happy to pay me the 1.25 an hour. For 4 hours. I asked him to let me try the piecework. He agreed reluctantly, and then just about had a heart attack when I told him id earnt 12 quid. My hands were bleeding form it. but 12 quids 12 quid to a money grabbin bastard like him. work picked up, and I was fully re-instated. After a week of my starting work again for them, Jap left. The other Rapper. He had been trainin giles up. giles wasn’t fully trained when Jap left. He was driven out by the gaffers propaganda. He told Jap, that all the lads were pissed off with him, because he wasn’t bringin the finished work over. Sanders aint on piecework. Rappers are. He was a greedy bastard, but the lads never slagged him. he only left because the stupid berk believed it. the gaffer tried the samr trick with me years later. Another bloke who worked at kingsway, was a wop. He got fiddled out of money as well. He changed from piecework to an hourly set rate. Because he hadn’t done enough work on a set hourly rate to cover his new wage, the gaffer paid him the piecework for it. that bloke left because of  being docked. They agree one thing, and then make up their own rules. Steve planned to move everyone out of the bottom factory, into the middle factory. When he was asked about it, his words were “fuck em, they work where we tell em to work. The middle factory has the compressor in it. a very big noisy compressor. Not to mention the fumes the pour out the sprayroom. He wasn’t bothered about that. he was bothered about piling more stock into the factory.

I remember at kingsway, all the fallouts there were reguarding the lottery syndicate we were all in. the management took over all the duites, fetchin the tickets, collectin the money an so forth. When we had a 10 win, we were goin to just stick it straight back on lucky dips. The bigger wins we would share out.  the argument came about, because they wanted to buy lucky dips. Bwe were fine with that, until they said they would keep those lucky dips a secret from the workers. Their idea was, we would write down all those lines, and keep checkin em. what a load of bullshit that was. their first words after sayin we want to keep the number a secret, “we buy lucky dips ourselves so if we won on those, we wouldn’t want you confusing the wins. Everyone else was fine about that. I fcukin well wasn’t. whats the point in doin the lottery, if you cant check the numbers. I told dave danno id prefer to know the numbers, as it was our money buyin the tickets. He asked me if I didn’t trust is mam. I told the truth. I said no. I tried to make light of it by sayin I wouldn’t trust my mam with that kind of money. not if it meant that great big pile on the table, you only get 5% of it. dave then got shirty wi me. he said he`d fump me in the face if I ever said anything like that about his mam. Yeah, well il go one better. I like nothing more than showin a red rag to a bullshitter. She used to come down whinging, that an extra pint of milk had been used. well sorry for bein cold in the early morning. If a multi million pound business, has managerial staff that moan about 38 pence, it shows shear stupidity. You don’t know your workers at all. if you want them goin on a go slow for 38 pence, that’s exactly how you go about doin it. we were working 16 hour days some days. And we never got to put our sorry looking arses on a radiator in the office all day. when god punishes, he punishes without prejudice. Just like I do. Like I am now. this will only get worse and worse for them. Until I get my apology, my leavin do, and if they want to sponsor me to bring football home, il start writin about the good times at kingsway. Not just my mental crucifixtion. I wouldn’t be attackin like this needlessly, but they had it comin a long time. I sponsored them enough over the years. we were made to feel like we had to. theyd bring the tickets round with the wages. These people wouldn’t survive in the real world, without all the hard work brian put in. all steves doin, is standin onb his shoulders. Tryin to convince everyone he is the saviour of kingsway cane. And therefore daves share of the business should be a lot less. If any. The times I heard this wanker tell his dad to sack his younger bro. He reallt is the most despicable twat you could ever meet. So far up himself, its no wonder only shit comes out his mouth. His face is one of those you wouldn’t get tired of slappin. The worst racist ive met, the biggest chauvanist, and the greediest. I could slag this prick off all day. I don’t need gange to bring these memories back. Because they made a very big impact on my way of thinking. How not to behave as a dad mainly. The stick ash took of both his dad and granddad, to me it amounted to mental abuse. None of the other two took stick like he did. I could relate to that very well. My dad was harder with me because he had to be. I needed it. I didn’t notice he was different with me til I was older. I understood why.

Now Topps on the other hand, were a completely different kettle of fish to work for. they were gaffers like all other gaffers. Money being the bottom line as ever. the difference with the gaffers, were that they were two brothers, who love each other as bro`s should. Working together, always thinking of the other. They took it in turns working 12 hour days while the other worked nights.then theyd swap. These two think the world of their mum. A lovely old lady I had the pleasure of takin to acting lessons. When I worked for them, I told them they were already legends in their own liftimes in syston. Everyone knows these two. If ever I had trouble out on the road, I was to let them know at the office by radio. I got into quite a few scrapes, but I never radioed in for help. I know that if I had, I would have had just about every car in the fleet on the way. All ready to rumble. Just as I would if they got in the shit. Bein a taxi driver, can be the lonliest job in the world sometimes. I loved it all. them experiences are all goin in here at some point. The lads at topps were pretty much like the lads at kingsway. You club together to help each other out. I was forever gerrin lost in the beginning. I had buds mobile and richos for when that happened. T11 and T21 They were the best two mates I had there. Bud is family. He told me. my aunt Linda is married to his cousin. It aint blood related, but I dint mind. He behaved like family. He stuck up for me one night. I picked up some old doctor from up the free masons on London road. I asked him if he`d paid the return fare on his outward journey. A tenner each way. He said he had paid. I took him at his word, and spent the journey telling him about my kids. He loved it when I told him I had twins born on my birthday. He said that was a very secial thing to happen to anyone. he gave me a fiver tip, and told me to put it towards some shoes for them. When I got back to the office, I asked who took him there. John took him. an ex hairdresser from st matthews. He used to do all the hair for the west Indians on the estate. Maybe he could do my white dredds for me. I asked for the return fare, so I could tote up all my fares and hand in the right amount. He said he didn’t pay the return. Why should a lovely little old man like that, lie about it. unless he`s forgetful. Bud happened to be sittin in the office at the time eatin pizza, covering the radio. Bud told him to stop pissin about an just give me the money. you know the old bloke paid it.  john, quite a big bloke, told bud not to start on him. at that bud lobbed his pizza on the desk and dived straight over it at him. as everyone dived in to split them up, I saw anne grab all her small change off the table. That made me laugh. They were broken up, and it turned out the old guy didn’t pay it. so I had to go round his house in queni to pick it up. smelly brian is another one of the lads from Topps. He lent me a few rising damp vids. Ive still got em. a good bloke but not entirely the sharpest or most trust worthy of em there. you couldn’t take too much of what he came out with as bein real. Id say he was probably one of em that put it around I was queer. Or he could have been one of those that was sayin I was tryin it on wi young birds when theyre pissed. Whoever did say that, I owe the bastards for it. it was because of them, I gave up a job I loved more than rapping. Drivin a nice car, meetin people, and come the end of the day, you had money in your pocket. If I didn’t have any food when I went work for topps, theyd have got me something. Not let me work all day shredding my fingers, and then moan about me havin to go home early with stomach cramps. They loved this at kingsway. They could see I was on the way out. they pushed it so they didn’t have to weigh me in any redundancy.Bud, split with his missus and took it quite bad. as we all do. Steve danson, told me all about some bird he was shaggin on the side. his “Sunday bird” done her over the bonnet of the firms bmw. Sorry, his car. For what its worth to the company, and how miles he does for them, I always said the money would be better spent on a fcukin jet ski. Sunday bird, turned out to be buds wife. This all came about after id left topps.When he told me her husband worked at topps, I knew somehow. He told me his real name. bud is his nickname. When bud used to drive through town, if he saw someone getting beat up, he`d jump out and help them out. he loves fightin, because hes very good at it. when I told steve what a psycho he was, I saw the colour drain from his face. id love to see those two meet up. one owes the other an apology. He was laughin that bud had attempted to take his life. now its time bud knew all about steve danson. Then there was windows, t13 another notable character at topps. He got caught takin fares that weren’t booked in on Christmas eve. I heard kelv say over the radio, windows, who have you got onboard. Then a pause, and then kelv sayin , ok mate, just go straight to the bakers and pick up so an so. Just as I went past windows. I saw he had a minibus full. I radio`ed in to ask if windows had said he was clear. Kelv said yes. No ones in his bus. I had to grass him up. its wrong to grass I know, but its wrog to bite the hand that feeds, when they treat you so fairly. He made amends for it, an is still there today. I used to give him a lift in and a lift home most of his shifts. I worked all week, whereas the others only worked Friday an Saturdays. He told me all the time which birds were askin about me. all the drivers told me about birds askin about me. one idiot there, bid dave, I wasn’t too keen on him. he didn’t seem like he was working for a team. Mark Thompson, their nephew, he got the best jobs every weekend. That’s why I say, theyre a firm interested in makin money for their families foremost. You cant blame em for that.  Bernie the bolt is another rnotable worker at Topps. It was because of this bloke, I went to Topps looking for part time work. He used to work with us at kingsway. He left cos he didn’t like the way they did things.everyone took the piss out of his stutter. We did at kingsway as well. He was forever getting into arguments wi paul cherry. That was probably why he left. Bernie the bolt drives accordingly. He ploughed into the back of a few things from what I could make out. I made sure I didn’t. I couldn’t afford the 500 quid excess. When it went up to a thousand, that helped make my mind up. it was a miracle I didn’t get done for speeding. From time to time a letter came through topps door, with the good news one of us had got three points. The gaffer wasn’t always a wanker. He was a good bloke while I was valid. On several occasions, he told me I had a job for life at kingsway. His best worker. I learnt all the trades he wanted me to know. I was his natural successor. Only he could do the work I did. That tells me I was. dick had other ideas. So did the gaffer. Dick the bloke lived with the gaffers daughter, he got told he was to take over the gaffers role when he retired. The gaffer retire, that’s a fcukin joke if ever I heard one. the jobs I did on loading days dick couldn’t do hardly any of em. he could tic the lists off, that’s about it. my jobs included, screwing seats in. dick couldn’t do that. cut all the various shaped glasses. Ovals, octagonals, round square and any specials that needed a glass. Dick couldn’t do that. I did all the beading. Fitting the glasses in the coffee tables and dining tables. Fitting the cabinets an such with brass handles etc, screwing rockers and glider rockers up. Dick defo couldn’t do that. no doubt he could screw it up his way. More than anything, dick hasn’t got a chance of getting peope working for him. no one would take any notice. He only got the job because on linz. It took ages before anyone would trust him. hes a good lad, but not very bright. Linz talked her dad into payin for a boob job. well, she didn’t talk him into payin it. the arrangement was, dick would pay it 50 quid a week. They split up, and dick had paid for them. I asked Dave why didn’t he have a feel. After all, it was paid for by the firm and it aint like its his sisters tits is it. that got a big laugh out wheeler. Poor old dick. Only bloke I know unluckier than I am. Linz got into some rock band. She became their groupie. Jan went mad about it. how could she disgrace the family name like this. All this went on while she was still with dick. The band even invited her up to their hotel room with them. Dick slept in the car. She said she loved him. it didn’t look that way to me. when they split up, dick bought linz out, of the house they shared together on toby street. Everyone was happy about the windfall linz got. Until a few months later, when they heard how much dick was sellin for. the gaffer told him he ought to give her another lump sum. I told dick to tell the gaffer to get fcuked. She was happy then, goin straight off to another bloke, who`d already been waitin in the wings. Another linsey I knew, looked the spittin image on linsey danson. Similar ages. This poor girl was dying of cancer. She passed away some time ago now. the woman who conducted her weddin ceremony to the bloke linz cleared off with, was the very same woman who conducted her funeral. I remember loz an his missus in church that day. loz told me what his missus said to him. “dave aint bringin that mongy with him is he”. I couldn’t believe my ears. How could she say summat like that. in church of all places. These things come back to haunt us, because it is the truth. There is no escaping the truth. It catches up with you at the end of this life. it best you are accountable for your actions in this one. 

The vicar at st lukes, father jimmy, told me I should make bible notes when readin the bible. anything that issued me with a question. When I asked him for a bible, he told me he hadn’t one to spare. Fcukin ell I thought, how do I tell im its my autobiography a few thousand years ago. im offerin to swop it with the one ive had in this life. jesus then is me today. the akiens past history, is todays present future. I still cant believe father phillip, I even offered him a figure of mary and baby jesus on the cross. Ok, so I threw it together crudely, that wasn’t the point. How many vicars can say they’ve had someone offer them that. with everything else I gave father phillip, it astounds me and always will, how a man of god could not call on a sick mental man to ask him what was goin on in his head. The claims I was makin, either jim or phil should have had the belief in themselves to call at my door. How can they be afraid of any mortal man, when they have god in their hearts and on their side. clearly they have both let down their faiths. The roman catholics through father jimmy, and the church of England through father phillip. 

I remember at ellis one day, I was larkin about wi some bird. Caroline hand. She had a better tash than some blokes I know. we had a bit of a scuffle one day playin. I remember dropping down low to the ground like I used to as a young un. I dint mean to. it kind of just slipped out. im sure she`d remember it. she commented on it at the time. our mark used to go boxin with her younger bro. His dad ran the bowlturners in town. One time he came over the rally with us when we got our hands on some bangers. It made us piss. He lit one and threw about 20 yards one way, and he went sprintin off in the other. Fcuk knows what kind of explosion he was expectin. Goin by how far away he was when it went off, im surprised he fcukin heard it.

At kingsway, the lads usually had a sing song when certain songs came on the radio. I remember thinking that loz and lez were like our answer to robson an Jerome. I thought to myself when I did the lottery, id offer them 50,000 each to sing a song professionally. Finance its release. They be ok on top of the pops. Fcuk me ive seen worse. Ive always had a wicked imagination. Maybe when this gets out, they`ll sing on top of the pops for us all. I hope im there. if I aint, laugh out loud I left them that little job in this, my will. I guess that’s what this becomes if I don’t make the party. The legacy I leave the vicars, is they walk bearfoot for a year or 2. and id like them to hold special church services. Fantasy football and girlpower topics are a must. Reference to the old new testament, should have no sad undertones anymore. If they don’t make the congregation laugh enough in future, they get the medieval punishment. Tomatoes. This is the pisstake/punishment god would sooner see. They kept me a secret, a 2000 year old man, with a david beckham freekick. That’s basically what you’ve got in me.

Coming from a family of many steeplejacks, im jack the lad obviously. how many more jacks can you say apply to me in one person, and how many apply to my family. A few to get you started. See how many you can come up with. Jackanory, jack of all trades, crackerjack, jackpot, jack and the beanstalk, jumpin jack flash, jack frost,jack and jill, jack the giant killer, jackshit, jack the ripper, jack the Rapper, and jack in a box. Im sure theres loads more. Whos who in our family. Which jack is which ?

All those people interested in the “dark side” the occult and such, devil worship is senseless. He doesn’t exist. To all those paranormal people, will you tell me the truth, when the world you delv into is all around you, and on my side.? I met one once, and my opinion is, theyre 99.99999 % tricksters. If theres a genuine one out there who can gimme the phone line to god, il be eternally grateful. As for ghosts, theyre real, and jesus is evident in every single one of em. if he`s doin things that scare you, its because you have earned it, or your family have earned it for you in the past. it is only a reflection of their behaviour in life, and you can break that chain of misery. Those interested in the dark side, would use the word, cursed. Id use the words, blessing disguised.

YO MA NIGGER,  my best mate at kingsway used to say that to me. loz H. did he knbow I have bobs big toe or wot…?

The talks I had with dad when he lay dying that year, he knew what he was doing. He would always try to tell us his dying wasn’t sad. It shouldn’t be sad. Because he had lived his life. he had enjoyed it all. however bad it was at times. He would always say, how can you be sad at me dying at my age, when children are dying of cancer. Its them dying that is sad. Ive lived and ive lived a full happy life. ive had 4 amazing kids. All of you make me proud in your different ways. Ive managed to turn out 4 good uns. No one else in our family has ever done that. dad instilled a loyalty in us between ourselves, we will never fall out. his family did that all his life. he saw how much that upset grandma and granddad. he knew he couldn’t have that in his kids. He made sure we would never be like those generations before us. He did everything right by us his kids. He got it very wrong with mam though. No ones perfect. I certainly aint. Im a man. already im at a loss. When I told different women  was different to other men, they could see I was. this book and everything ive wrote verifies that. I couldn’t tell them at the time everything, because I didn’t know most of what I know now. I knew all the pieces of our families jigsaw of history. until I put them all together in my fcukin side, I had no idea of who I was. how much would it flip you, to realise you are the second coming of Christ..?  its you that is here to save the world, the universe, it was you who had to shape the future of mankind..? when cipher says in the matrix, “ to know its you that saves the world, what a mind job that must be” however much bullshit is in that film, that line summed it up perfectly. Im neos little bro in that film, an ive got the disk ready. That bundle of green neo received in the film, all im askin for is a bundle of green. But the sort you smoke. That green takes my rabbit hole deeper everytime I toke. The soup ladle of the mind. Take it back right, it takes you right back. All the way to jesus 2000 years. when you look at events that have happened in your life, you will see where they have cropped up in history. you can plot your own path through history, just as I have. You can also see the path that lies ahead of you in history yet to be.

I remember at kingsway one day. a few of the lads were chattin a load of crap as usual. Me, GB, muppet dave, lemon ead, tricky micky, and dick. We were all working away a the top end of the factory sortin our the loads. Before, we always had enough work to keep us down the bottom end. because pf their greed and the imports pilin in, we had to follow the work up. I spent five years loading the lorry wi the gaffer. Just me n him almost every Wednesday. I stayed to help load for lots of reasons. The main one was the old git would have struggled by himself. His sons would have let him. also because I felt appreciated. Not important. The feeling of being accepted, and knowing I was doing a good job for them. Anyway, this day we were choppsin away, an penny got mentioned. Daves step daughter. Id only seen her a couple of times before she left school. Dave would rave about her bein a looker. Obviously I joked id do her as well. the lads laughed, and dave decided to get serious over it. “come on scott, like whats she gonna see in you look at you”. at the time, I was goin through the mill a bit. This was maybe a year before I left kingsway. Loads of days I worked all day with no food. After several months of that, its bound to take its toll on a person. When I saw eventually clapped eyes on penny, I agree wi dave. She`s a stunner. If yer looking through daves eyes that is. when you see pennys mam, you`ll understand perfectly. I don’t don’t pennys, I do fivers. Geri by comparison in my eyes, is worth a fiver to your penny. When people see greatness on the decline, it cheers up the non achievers. Their jealousy has a leg up. because ive had all these experiences, and ive lived the life I have, anything that idiot says goes straight over my head. I wonder who he was thinkin of when tubbin the missus. The sense of humour daves got, its goin to take him a few days to see this is funny. That’s all we can do with the truth. Make it funny. It becomes funny, when we know workers in all aspects of life, never endure the treatment I received at the hands of his big brother and his dad. he`s the one who shows any sign of decency, and the realisation life holds greater value than money. one of the 3 has to see that. they cant all be wankers.

When lisa was workin at the old unit at glenfield, I went to work with her one day to show Lauren off. a patient called nimesh stood looking at me. not bein in that line of work an havin no understandin, I felt uneasy. A nurse passin by told me “watch him. he kisses blokes.” Like that helped. He shuffled towards me, dribbling, eyes wide, looking a very sorry state. But he was happy. He was smiling st me. he put both his hands in my right jackert pocket and told me his name. I answered a few of his questions an then jusat wanted to get to lisa and Lauren. I gently took hold of his hands and told him I was goin in the kitchen. As I let go of his hands, he keeled over. He banged his head on the floor cutting his forehead. Straight the way my hands went up, “I dint push him, he just fell over” “that’s ok love he does that all the time.” do you seriously think it helps these people cooped up, when they should be out in the world, seeing the sights we all should be. if nimesh is happy on that ward, living in the conditions hes accustomed to, he`ll be smiling so much more in a world that sees him as being special, not a pathetic creature that should be locked away. These poor people are trapped in bodies with a greater understanding of the world around them than we can fully realise. We need to help them develope what they enjoy, what theyre good at. Music and art are just two of the ideas that work. Inspiration and creativity are key parts of our subconscience. We can emulate that in what we put on paper.  Writing an honest account of your life is also vital. For your kids and their kids throughout the ages. Having been given my family tree, looking at events down the years, I wish those people would have left written accounts of their lives and how they coped. We can all begin doing that the sooner the better. there are numerous benefits in doing this. it gioves our kids an extra pride in who they are, it helps them develop their literary skills.

The song that I want to bring jesus home on, has to be a cliff Richard song. Not any of those mistletoe an wine crap type songs. One that goes all the way back to a golden era. It ainty yound ones or summer holiday. It tells of jack fallin down.

They say it comes in threes. Like the trinity we the akiens have on January 23^rd. THEY being the trinity above us all. Dad Granddad an Grandma. another instance of something that came in three. 119 parker drive, is where I worked as a rapper for kingsway all those years. 119 loughboro road is the muslim higher education centre. The stone dated 1888 outside, points it out to me. it has a valuable place in our history. the third 119 is somewhere very different to both these other places. Today October 22^nd 04, I visited no. 119. the bloke here offered me a loads of free football shirts. Never bein one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I took em. that’s all extra proof this third 119 is the one that is most beneficial to me. its where I score out here !! if I were a copper readin this, I wouldn’t be dumb enough to even contemplate arrestin this person. Hes been sortin jesus out with his glasses to the past. my vision express. What judge would be daft enough to sentence him for dealing, or me for smoking, when those punishments you dish out on us, come back at you all on the world stage. You had no warning on September 11^th. This time you have.

When jesus returns he aint goin to have the same name is he, logically he couldn’t hope to ever be believed. Theres too many of the nutters out there. the one I met I had tio give a good hidin. He tried it on wi my sis pissed in the dark. I showed that bastard evil, so he got the message not to ever try it asgain. Something as serious as that had to be avoided at all costs. A jesus type nutter with a fixation just aint happenin. Stalkin my sis was maybe what would have followed. jesus walks through gods chosen family, the akiens, but he aint walkin like jesus, hes walkin like jack the lad. what he/ii was born to do. Part of jacks walk is bein able to kick anyones ass that gets themselves in the frame. I only come at those that earn it. hitting me from behind isn’t advisable. Last time someone did that, I took him clean off his feet with a punch faster than the eye. He broke his neck and died for 2 ½ minutes, 12 years to the day. my Real big bro. Jesus today needs all the protection he can get in todays world. bein second to none in any fight is only logical in any god fearing person. Ive had to keep myself safe. ii had to be the last man standin every time. I was in my own way. The dives wernet dives, they were never forgotten. I put right all those wrongs committed against me in this. the need or fightin has been replaced with an urge for writin.

Power to the people by john lennon is probably my second favourite of his after imagine. “How do you treat your old woman back home, she got to be herself ”

When Id just had my first nervous breakdown, I went over our marks to see them all. gabbers sister was there. we sat in the garden chattin. Because of my pitiful looking state, they took the piss. Id lost weight an it showed. It still does. I told them how teresa next door had one night took it that we`d be consumatin the friendship. Teresa bein bigger than a doorway, 20+ stone. they found it funny. “I can just imagine what she`d do to someone like you, jesus”. Apart from a couple of meetings, they don’t know me at all. all they heard about me, was what a proper jack the lad I was. they loved to look down on our lot. Her dad liked to look down our Terris top that day. gabbys sis goin out wi a well blessed gyneacoligist. A black one. whatever he knew, he read about it in books. His bein well blessed, means he doesn’t try as hard as he might. When you have the bare essentials to work from, i.e average, you have to do your very best. I learnt it all onsite. Whatever I look like today, I don’t care. I made my name look good. I did us proud. 

This might all sound pie in the sky,but please remember,im only a Wapper  If we take things back to their absolute basic in the food chain, we can enjoy a richer way of life. all them bones from cows and sheep etc, why don’t we just drop em in the ocean at selected points. The laws of nature tell me logically, everything else will flourish in the food chain upwards.

Also,

On sids family tree I noticed a very bizarre coincidence. Several generations ago, his great great great great granddad was also his granddad. a shade of in breeding. On our family tree the same thing happened. The result of 2 taylors entering the akiens family tree, is Ronnie Taylor in Leicester today. my great granddad today is alive and well in Ronnie Taylor. Looking at the 2 of us, youd swear he`d win the fight. how wrong youd be. im all the akiens behind me rolled into one. Ronnie is 4 generations behind me.ive got more reason not to fight him, hes family. I cant wait to meet him. he`s one of chappies mates. I get to see what great granddad looked like finally. A dream ive wished for all my life.

I remember when I was about 5, I had a brainwave. I was gettin fed up of pickin spiders off the wall for mam, so I thought id help cure her fear of em. If I dint pick off live, they got scraped off after mams scholl had just clobbered it. she`d be well chuffed I thought. As I chased her up the street, the screams kind of told me it wasn’t workin. Those are the real reasons dad called me evil. Because I made him laugh. If he thought I really was evil, he wouldn’t have found anything I did funny. Would he. He really did have a wicked sense of humour. He loved nothing better, than havin family and friends round. His story tellin was like a lee evans show. The funniest jackanory. LOL. 

Tuh, jesus had shi*loads of miracles to help him prove he was the son of god. Still it weren’t enuff. The only miracles ive got, is my mouth, and my david beckham freekick evolved. When you stick the 2 together, its all the miracles you would wish for.

The worlds worst century advertised on telly, a documentary about the 14^th century. The one hundred year war. Our 101 year war went un noticed. We had a 101 year war with god himself. From 1865 until 1966. He punished us for our work for Christianity, not for anything we were guilty of.

Blair gets critised for his stance on iraq. The whole war issue. We had to make a decision in taking out frances arsenal in world war two. It was a painful but necessary job. theres no need for any of that now.

From what I can make of the middle east crisis`s, it seems to me like Israel are trespassing on Palestinian lands. In the world I have waitin to throw to gether, there will be no borders between any countries. The troubles with Jordan end, when the trouble with Jordan the country ends. There will be no difference between the peoples, as there will be no difference in the lands they live on. We all work together, like cleaners tidyin up the planet. At the minute, we are like a dog covered with fleas. Some blokes are bein held without charge, at belmarsh prison. How can these laws exist in todays society, whereby we lock up suspects in this way. All those must be freed, to tell their side of the story. They tell the truth either way. From there, we can begin to encourage all those terrorists to confess their crimes against god. The truth hurts only cowards.

Iv just been watchin the news about the elections in Afghanistan. 5000 years of history, and change is finally here. the woman electorate gets my vote. Everything she campaigns for looks to me to be truly in her heart. She`s right when she says her country needs both a doctor and a mother. The tv bloke said she was pushing girl power.  the future of her country will be safe for ever when they adopt all the policies I have laid out in what I have wrote. The reason I have wrote so many thoughts, is because I want the world to know as mush about my thinking as possible. If only I had my dads thoughts set out on paper, all this would have been so much easier.

I liked the period rest room Michael palin came across up the Khyber pass. Not for any reasons that bloke spoke of. Id like to see them run by women. they come out when they have their faith in men restored. And they are happy to join in with society as men do. I couldn’t believe my eyes to see that women wernt allowed in everyday society. The world I want these women to come out into, is one that ensures they are never forced to do anything they want ever again. they’ll do those things when theyre happy to. that’s girlpower.

Natasha has her critics. I read one of them callin her for usin the line,

 “ keats resided it over a hip hop beat ”. these words are my own,  say it all for me. until these critics have achieved summat themselves, they have no place to knock. It all sounds good to me, whatever the words say. Fcuk me eminems a bastard to understand when hes singin, just like all them other rappers. If it sounds good, fcuk the words. That’s all they are. I love the song. It sums up me in doin this book my way.no compromise.

Ive always took care of my nails. I sit filin em these days to keep em neat an clean. I sit cross legged as well, I don’t realise im doin it. I don’t care either. anyone watchin, would either think I was a flat chested bird, or a puff. They couldn’t be more wrong on both counts.  Because granddad had no choice in it probably. Seing his hands, and how they were punished, I can appreciate my 2 full hands to the limit. Which shows in how these two hands have creatively put this book together. as our fate lie in granddads hands so many times on those churches and chimneys, our fate lies in these two hands of mine today. without the book ive written, the bush administration will only get worse. Their constant flouting of world laws is about to hit an immovable brick wall. I may have wrote that line in this edition before. I don’t care if I repeat myself on that one. its important they get that message across loud and clear. when the us are doin everythiong they can to bring down the greenhouse gases they give to the world, maybe then mother nature will stop pounding your heavens. Theres only one way to find out.

When I was about 19, me and my mate daff met a bird. From somewhere over narborough. We went in her house one night. She told us gary lineker used to live there a few years ago. I followed in his footsteps then, il do it again goin on the jonothan ross show. I wrote a few weeks ago id like to go on his show. It came as no surprise at all to see lineker on it. there were a few things he said that are worth mentionin. He said he thought we`ve found “one”, when talking about Rooney. We have. Gazza trainin him is what brings Rooney on so much faster. Makes him so much more of a complete player. When he said beckham wasn’t quite a genius, I had to laugh. Im the half that makes him a genius. Just by reading my book. our meeting makes him the first complete player on the pitch. All thanks to my off pitch plain. Sid trains becks and vice versa. The ultimate footballing coach. Im the lion tamer who keeps sid in check durin those trainin sessions. The whole England team are gonna love this god of a dog. the whole of world football, will worship him. Beckham meeting me is all a bonus, to him and everyone in the world. How could you not want to witness that handshake, when theres a very good posssibilty of the heavens opening up. dad used to say to me as a kid, “OI, put the wood in the hole, were you born in a barn or summat.?” I always said “yeah dad”, just to take the piss.

When I was doin the pubs an clubs in Leicester wi my mates, I walked like jack the lad. No one spotted what I was up to. none o my mates knew I was doin it because I had to. to me I knew this was a rehearsal for the biggest stage of all.  I made dirty look very very good. imagine beckham tryin to walk like jack the lad through Leicester, like I had to. I had to do it looking like beckham in the aftermath of diego simeone. When I walk like jack again for the world, im gonna be a bit ring rusty. I haven’t used my body like that for a long time. dancing wi birds and putting your all into it. close your eyes and dance for yourself. Make it as sexy as you can make it, when you can do that and feel happy inyourself totally, you can do that anywhere, at any tiome. You wont care. Youre dancing for god. That person that matters most in your life. you. god enjoys that kind of self confidence in people. Sing like no ones listenin, dance like no one can see, and laugh whenever you find something funny. You cant go wrong stickin by those rules. You have a self belief very few people attain. All those on the world stage have it. most of em anyway. they’ve earnt it through their efforts and achievements. loads of people out here on the street have it as well. I see it everywhjere. Great people with unsung hidden talents. In the world they live in, those talents will always go un noticed without nurturing them.

I watched that Victoria beckhams secrets tonight. I must say everyone likes takin the piss don’t they. There were a few things that caught my attention. One was the bloke sayin her problems are with her people not her talent. Yeah id agree. Another thing that stood out, was when that bloke said “its not like Beckhamsa goin to be king is it.” no, not how you imagine a king to be. he`s above any king if he`s half of Christ the king. if I aint meant to be in the next world, he carries on what ive started. Im sure I am tho. Geri halliwells wrote how many auto biographies.. 9 or 10. she must enjoy writin about herself like I do. Id say in total, ive wrote over 50. ive got thousand and thousands of pages on disk. It all charts my supposed nervous breakdowns. A complete psychological profile. Exactly what youd want jesus to leave behind this time. ive had to make provisions in case I do leave early. He pulled Victoria by sendin her drawings of simba. A bit different to how I met my Victoria. It was all a case of her pullin me. What I do for Beckham, hes no longer a cub. My fcukin side puts him in heaven. So`s   Victoria. All the bad press she gets is about to change as well. treat her like I treated mine. Let her be herself. If she wants cosmetic surgery, who are we to judge her for it. personally, it aint for me. I don’t want anything that aint equally available to everyone. In time all these things will be. all the luxuries the beckhams live in, im spreadin that lifestyle all over the world. until you try to calculate how all those negative agencies when put to good use, you have no idea of how much spare man and woman power you really have. Imagine a world without wars, secrecy, its all comin thru me.

When I was about 17, giles got me some work on the side. valeting cars for his uncle. Royale cars. I worked like fcuk only to get accused of not doin enough. A piss take. Giles said he knew he either give me a good wage or a crap one. needless to say I dint go back. ive just wrote em a letter requestin a car, so I can go an pick the Beckhams up. and park lane garage on blackbird rd. 

When we came out of rich sharpes birthday party at the hotel belgrave, there were about 6 or 7 of us walkin back. One lad, mark morris, was a bit of a big mouth who thought he was a jack the lad. He had a flashy suit on with a long trendy trench coat. Hair slicked back, telling us all how many big name people he knows and stuff like that. a little arsehole basically. His uncle had won the pools a few years before. They went fishin together and because of that, he was good to his nephew. As we were walkin back past Talbot park, an argument started out of nothing. There was me, our mark, his mate, mark morris, his bird, and a couple of his mates. Mark morris suggested goin up town. I can get us in anywhere he said. Our marks mate said he couldn’t because he had work the next day. he called him a puff for it. our mark told him he`d better apologize for that. if he had work he had work. He told our mark “ you can fuck off as well you puff ”. ok, you don’t say that to our mark, and expect to get away with it. immediately marks toes were on the line for a dust up. as everyone dived between em to keep them apart, I found it funny. I was laughin at the whole set up. by this time, we`d just reached talbot bridge. They were stood about 2 or 3 feet apart, me and marks mate holding him, and his mates holding mark morris. They let him go. I was stood behind mark holding his right arm. His mate was the other side. he came at mark while we were holding him. by the time he got to mark, it wasn’t mark he was facing. It was me. he took a very big hit, that had him covered in blood within a second of him goin for mark. As he doubled up clutching his nose, I gave him one in the ribs, just to add insult. I heard his breath leave his body, as he slumped to the floor.  His suit was fcuked, and I stood apologizing to his bird. I wouldn’t have done what I did if he hadn’t done what he did. I wa sonly acting instinctively. I told him as we walked away, you don’t fcuk with the akiens, not ever. and you certainly don’t ever want to fcuk with us in belgrave.

When I stand face to face with evil, i.e someone wanting to hurt me or someone behind me, I show them a much worse reflection. Dad called me that as a kid for that reason too.

To those men who are holding ken at present, I would like to tell them a few things about what theyr getting themselves into. If they kill ken, they earn themselves a thousand generations of suffering. the punishment of god is justified. If they show ken mercy, and send him home safe and sound, they earn themselves a full pardon from the king of kings. They receive their rewards in heaven, as they receive them in this life today. these acts are not carried out for no reason. These men had a political motive, as do all wars. If it aint religion. Part of that pardon, is being allowed to tell your side of the story. The king of kings has to deliberate on who is right and who is wrong. The time for war and these acts, are over. Everyone puts their guns down, and they listen. If I could trade places with ken I would. Until the world knows my name, it aint worth me risking it. I know how to rectify all these problems. Surely that has to be taken into account. After the world knows my name, I can walk anywhere I wish, afraid of nothing. No one will want to kill me then. let alone because they`ll know I get back up behind them, from my place at gods table. The punishment last time for killing Christ, was 2000 years of suffering. if you pray for anything, pray that day never comes, that I die of ignorance, when I have tried so very hard to get peoples attention. The punishment isn’t within your comprehension. No film will ever come close, to describing just how god will punish this world. I know. because its going to be me up there in charge of everything. Those vicars, and that whitehouse, will see lightening strikes coming down all around them, like a sewing machine. Mother nature will pound the Americans shores, wiping away all their heavens on both coasts. For a very long time. I know things I shouldn’t know in this life, because I know I am the one true prophet of god. I know when the next prophet is coming. He doesn’t get here until the year 19161. without my help now, mankind will not see that year. We will however get back up, when evolution finds us, in a few million years.

Because of all the different scenarios I went through, my mate wheeler at kingsway called me drama queen. He even sang the words of geri`s song to me when it came on the radio.

In this life, we all reach the end of the world, when we pass away. The question of is their life after death, the answer is a very definite yes. My book show you life after life after life. it shows you how to find yourself, before you get there.

Me jeevsie and daff would go up the railway line with our air rifles. They had visions of killing loads of birds with these state of the art guns. Ive never felt comfortable with taking life needlessly. I shot a rabbit once out enderby way. I felt guilty as ote. When we went in the train line to the forest near rothley, I took bags of targest. I picked them off at long range one after another. I hit a marksman standard without a doubt. One day gaz came round. I put a jellybean on a round of bread, in the corner of the garden. Where lee said he saw two red eyes glowin at him. I told gaz id take it off the round of bread in one shot. As it disappeared in a lttle puff of dust, the bread was untouched. Practising on these targets helped because it removed all guilt in what I was doing. Firing a gun. Great granddad shot his Labrador dogs at their first mistake. Granddad thought he was cruel that way. Shootin tagets was much better. they shattered when you hit em.  like the ones I sold mustaffa. The muslim chap who sold me the gun. I had a loan at the time and had the cash. I bought the best rifle in the shop at that time. an fx 2000, the gun of that year.id love to see the best air rifle in the world this year. bein skint permanently, very often I have to settle for a cheaper alternative. How ironic that I don’t get all the luxuries I should have. How ironic also, that the key that brings me to life, cannabis, is also the key that puts me on the escalator home. that’s how I can tell what ive done isn’t suicide, tho I knew it would take me eventually if anything would.  Sacrifice is the word for it.

When I nipped in kingsway to see pete last week, oct 04, I wanted to see if things had changed in the factory since I left. Was it still a deathtrap or had they learnt from their mistakes. HA, like fcuk did they. No safety barriers all round the flimsy false flooring. Stuff still stacked up to the rafters. I videoed the place on my new diary. my video phone. It was good to see pete tho. He told me about his close call swimming in the sea in spain. Him an kerry swam too far out, an into a current. He couldn’t make it back, neither could kerry. He was the most scared he`s ever bin. Luckily 2 blokes spotted em an pulled em to safety. A very close shave. I couldn’t leave kingsway without nickin somethin. we were low on teabags so I swiped a handful. 

When I take a freekick, my belief and effort has me thinking in the only way I know how. If I said I wouldn’t care if a broke my ankle, id be right. when I let that ball ave it, that’s how much power I put into each one. all of it. sometimes I fcuk it up, just like beckham does. We are only human. Seein one of arsenals world cup winners on question of sport a while ago, his smugness pissed me off. all he kept sayin was, I don’t care, we won the world cup. When beckham takes a freekick and it misses, it doesn’t matter. He did it the day it reall ymattered. Against Greece. And beckham did it all by himself. Do you see what im getting at. If I could see any game replayed, it would be the 1998 argentina game.

At the minute beckham thinks hes playin football for real this season. He`s playin for Real when he comes to Leicester city football club. As neo believed he could bring morpheus back, I know I can bring beckham back. it’s the only way he can bring football home. with or without my help. With my help he settles in perfectly very very quickly. Leicester is about to become the city that worships beckham more than any other. The second home of Jesus today.

When I see that coke advert wi the bird that sings I wish, I sing that song perfectly. My opening up to the world song. The song that walks me in. the words are so perfect. I am the ultimate singin opposite. The great white rapper, and any black bird diva. We go together like bread and butter. my velvet tones, with The, white man with rythmn.

When we went in some pubs an clubs, I got called wanker on entrance a lot of the time. I got to a point where I wanted to stick two fingers up at the jealous cu*ts. So I used to run my two victory fingers through it to wipe it away from my eyes. that seemed to piss em off. it must have added insult to injury to these idiots. To see I have the eyes that go with the hair. Like beckham, like leo, to name a couple who have these kind of eyes. eyes that do all the pullin for you. with beckham takin crap up there I took it down here. it made it very hard work. every bird prepared to gimme the chance to get to know me got to see those eyes.  

This disk you have, look at the size of it. it doesn’t look like a very big chimney dos it. it’s the highest of em all, when you think about it.

Andy H las night sept 18^th 04, was talkin about abein smashed every weekend. He works hard all week and loves his life. a proper genuine bloke. His brothers are note like him. where as they always took what I robbed as a kid, andy made up for it last night. He gave me my first E. Ive toyed wi the idea of goin to church on one. the old sayin that went go to work on an egg, this is son of LOLs equivellent. We all sat outside til late in the fresh air smoking spliffs and drinkin fosters. As it got a bit colder, we all sat with our hoods up. like that scene in the errol Flynn robin hood film. When the king returns to that boozer with his mates. Wendy took one look at me and said I looked like et. Cheers wend. All these people are my mates today. like family. All of em have said I am back to normal. Whatever that is. sarah told me a few times that id done well in pickin myself up the way I did. Because of how ill everyone thought I was. I was ill, but I made sense of it all in writin these. Getting all my thoughts down on paper, so peope can judge me when they’ve heard the whole story. Not just pack me off to the nuthouse again after ive only managed to get out a few sentences. When you’ve read the whole book, then judge me. confide in someone you know, an  intellect. If you come to the conclusion I am not the one, its because you don’t want me to be. probably because of the way I look today. everyone hated me when I took pride in how I looked. I still take pride in how I look, when I don’t really make any effort. What you see is what you get. My friends accept me for it. my old friends don’t seem to want to accept im dressin to reflect my mood. Rebelling my way. Makin blonde look dirty. Because of the crap ive took because of my hair colour, im kind of abusing what I have. I could have a beautifully cut head of hair. I don’t want that yet. Im walkin out of this world, reflective of my treatment out here.

When we all went back to the club after dads funeral, dads second home, I bought a pint for dad. as the four of us sat round the table wi granddad, I said wed just leave it on the table.Granddad had other ideas.“Well we aint wastin the bastard”,as he took a big swig off it. it made us all laugh. We all had some after that. I remember sayin to cousin collin, it was hard listenin to some of the songs.He told me“dont listen to em then”.a cold reply.Collin was dads favourite nephew. He told me a story of collin gettin chased thru belgrave by racists.He pickd em off one by one as they caught up with him. it really gutted Dad he never visited him once as he lay dyin.What should we expect, from someone whos turned his back on his mam. If it ain bad enough she lost one son,to have another ignore her must be very painful.At uncle terry weddin,I remember goin over to have a chat wi Collins family. His missus was a bit surprised I came over at all. she commented on it.shes his family so shes mine. I didn’t know em so I went to say ello.Like any situation really.Curiosity is a very healthy trait to have.Its how we make discoveries. she was lovely to chat to. 

When chappo an our lee were out in town one night, they got stopped by the coppers. Adam, ako god, had hidden a chunk of draw in his mouth. He couldn’t speak so he owned up an offered to give it the pc.He told adam he could keep it. now if that aint a plus sign for legalisation, I dunno what is.

I found a thirteenth month in Greece. Me an shearer were chattin to mary one day in the dining room of our kavos digs. mary looked after us as tho she were looking after her opwn children. Like my mam mary.I remember askin her her how long she kept the complex open. She told us, we stay open all thru the summer, from the beginning of may, to the end of octomber. At this me an shearer burst out laughin. She asked why we were laughin at her. it was funny. That’s why. Fcuk me, is that why the seasons are all fcuked up. Do we need to add another month somewhere to the calender. Another day we sat talking to her, we were chattin about the beach. I asked her a question, and it didn’t so much come out wrong, it came out honest. However rude it sounded, it wasn’t meant to be. “the beach is nice and the sea looks lovely. But whats all that shit on the beach.” Instantly she reared up, “what shit on the beach, there is no sheet on the beach. I was referring to all the sea weed that gets washed ashore, and no one cleans it up. the other shit on the beach, was the one that made me say that word to mary. Them greek monsters, who lay in wait, hoping to get lucky with a brit. Them who raped English lads. all we want is a holiday in the sun, at our expense and your hospitality. That behaviour goes way beyond biting the hand that feeds you. those monsters are still alive, walkin around in Greece, unknown to their families and friends, what they get up to down on the beach. Theyre rapists, and they will answer to god for it at the end of this life. their only hope, is to never ever do it again, and to say sorry to everyone you did it to. only then can you escape an eternity of lives, all of which endure the same punishments you dished out. if they have any common sense, they want to make sure they find those people. The best way forward for them, is to go and hand yourself in to the greek police, and confess to all those you raped. When the police have all the names of everyone in kavos that year, they’ll be able to bring everyone together. and the apologies begin. The English lads that went through this, will enjoy forgiving you. because the tasks they set out for your penance, makes sure you don’t carry any penances into your next life. get em all out the way here. for those crimes you committed, imagine someone doing that to you. when you’ve fuckin saved all bastard year to pay for that time in heaven. how would they feel, if we made them work all year, then we packed them off to a few prisons in England. same wings as the usual lags. The no noncers criminals. The ones who don’t like to see things happening to kids. What those greeks did on the beach, is no different at all to the likes of ian Huntley. To have the capacity to inflict that kind of suffering on another human life, for both their “cause” and their sexual warped tendencies, that is not holy in gods eyes. it is the work of the devil. The devil, believe it or not, is the one who dishes out gods punishment. He`s justified in everything he does. Because god would not allow him to carry out these evil acts. They aren’t evil acts, theyre justified acts , intended to change evil. Im just glad I aint guilty of rape. The punshment for raping a man is no less a crime in gods eyes than it is to rape a woman. Rape is rape and wrong is wrong. Whatever you do in your life, makes all the difference as to where you wake up. if your soul has not been pure, and you have lived a life of crimes against god, against life, your souls is removed from your family, until you have earnt your way back, by doing good in your future lives. When all the evil has gone, you will have learnt your lesson in gods eyes, and you will return to your family again. once you reach your family, you are with them for all eternity. Provided you don’t make a mess of things again. where in the world, do you think those greeks will turn up, if they don’t get to say sorry..? wherever it is, it isn’t anywhere near like the heavens you have been blessed to live in. the heavens my family never saw in life, only through my eyes. if these rapists want to keep their crimes a secret, and refuse to come out, theyd better say goodbye to mummy for a while. The national service the greek men undergo, aint nothin like the hell on earth they inherit. Because I believe wholeheartedly in forgiveness, they have been given achance to repent. To say sorry. Not to me, not to god, not to their familys and loved ones, the ones who they robbed of their lives. This time, the tables have turned. We are no longer the minority when we come back to kavos. Im bringin the blue army with me. the king of kings needs no army to take to war. He knows he assumes his real role in the after life. he is god above. The army I need, worships football not fightin.

One Saturday night when I was taxi-in, I picked up a fare on humberstone lane. He kept me waitin 15 minutes. On a busy Saturday night, its me that gets the bollockins for those holdups. It costs the firm money, and me valuable time. I saw the wanker casually walk downstairs through a window. Doin his trousers up. his bird was also getting dressed coming down the stairs. I was a bit pissed off when he got in the car. I put my foot down, and as we came off the bend at the bottom of the hill, I spun the car 180 degrees. A combination of both wet conditions and the camber of the road. as we came to a stop, facin the way we`d just come, I asked the lad if he was ok. He said yes, I told him he could smoke whatever he had if he needed it.

Dad always encouraged me to do impressions. From singin elvis, to rigsby, to beckhams freekick. And loads loads more. One of the first that used to make dad laugh, was my Indian shopkeeper impression. I picked up that accent off uncle nev, when they took me away on holiday. When none of my other family wanted to know me. It used to make dad laugh. Id like to address george bush dressed as one. I know just how to take the piss out of him.

As I approached the 50 birds mark, I started to slow down. another lad was takin over my crown. I wasn’t givin in, I was just doin things at my own pace. I let him take the accolades for pullin the most birds. I wanted to get away from the stereotype id earnt myself. Sis got to the point where she wouldn’t meet them. Why should I say hello to say goodbye. You`ll be with another bird next time we`re all out together. this lads name is rob. A good mate who works down at Leicester city. He asked me once if id fancy a job down there doin what he does. Crowd control for the away fans. Yeah I wouldn’t mind that job for a day. it would only take one shift to end all his an his mates shifts. All the crowd control lads at every football ground.

My best mate wheeler, he showed me the way in lots of ways. A Real hero, role model  to me. he inspired me. when I saw wet wet wets sweet little mystery, I saw wheeler on the beach somewhere on holiday with his mates. The song that reminds me of him the most other than that song, has to be a song by joyce simms. He`ll know it the second you ask him. a real music trivia wiz. The era I knew all the tunes was late eighties early nineties. That’s when I was out doin it. when I went back to the nightlife after me an lisa split, that era I know quite well musically as well. the earlier tunes I now better tho.

Muslim womens dress code, to me seems a bit over the top. those muslims men see enough of our birds, it don’t seem fair on either us non muslim men, or the muslim women. its time they all loosened up a bit.coverin themselves up thhe way they do. For one very simple logical reason. A very powerful muslim man, a long time ago, had a jealous streak. When he gave birth to the notion of women not showing any flesh, that was cruel. It was not what Muhammad prophesized. These women need to be freed, girl power is their way out of that second class world they live in.  if muslim men can cut their hair short, women can throw off those black clothes they wear. In Leicester today, the highfields area of Leicester, has a prostitution problem. From what I hear, most of the clients these women work for, are asian or muslim. When girlpower has been introduced to the western world, every man and woman is in heaven. if you call a woman a slut or a whore for simply doing what your body needs, you are following the path of gods will. You are doing what feels natural. Women will be able to live the same equal lives as men. in a safer world, where women are allowed their freedoms, you wont need prostitues ever again. when the world is a safe place for these women, they give it up so much more easily. If you want to live in this world, you must follow certain rules. If in our future society, women are in a position to trust men, it becomes so much more easier, to find that very special person. Until that person comes along, you can have some fun. God allows all good experience. What becomes of muslim women in this future society, if they are denied those same freedoms as women in the west. When the muslim women gather as a collective, we have a very very powerful movement. When we in the west have a Christian girlpower assembled, we join the two together. you will never again see a super power like it anywhere in existence. When you also add to that heaven sent pairing, the complete support of the blue army. We`re unstoppable. The following man united have globally, that aint nothing to what the walkers is about to witness. If jesus is a born again blue army fan, and he sees fantasy football as his doorway to the world, he can have some fun with it. my fantasy football blueprint will blow everyones minds at the walkers. I have a dream team of my own I want to put together. when I see these players in those matches, god sees it thru my eyes. I have to do a sven and pick the dream team I think would surpass the harlem globe trotters football wise. The team I pick with beckhams advice, every manager, every team, combines with whoever they want to bring.  Ours is the supreme dream team. Frank skinner has a fair bit of work to do as well. hes got the best job of all. because he followed catholocism for a number of years, he knows a fair bit about the bible. he can read my book, and he can see where mirrored events crop up in the bible. his world is about to be filled wi joy unknown. that book is now every vicars joke book. they dog collar wearers are now comedians, if they can get their acts together.

A Scotsman lifted his skirt up outside st patricks. There was a weddin goin on, a scots family and an irish family so andy H told me. while I was stood waitin at the bustop. He had summat on underneath.

Carla was a very special person I met at glenfield as well. it took her a long time to put her trust in me. enough to talk to me that is. she always sat listening, or talking to the people in her head. She had the worst case of voices. I never knew of anyone I know to hear voices. Carla could see them as well. how frightening that is I can only try to imagine. When I spoke to her, they went away. I loved talking to her for that reason especially. She was one of the most intelligent, gifted person I know, spiritually. What she has goin on in her head, isn’t anything at all scarey in the next world. carla told me 8 or 9 weeks after id been admitted, that when I first walked in that smoke room on Beaumont ward, she sensed the whole room fill with jealousy. She wasn’t wrong. I had to win them all over one by one. they had me stereotyped wrong as well. the time spent in that place, gave them all time to give me a chance. They had time to get past the image thing. Why should I be in hospital, looking how I do. Like beckham. Everyone feels the same highs and lows, immaterial of how they look. Sex on legs was the name a few of the women on the ward called me. I had to fight em off in the grounds one night. Theyd got their hands on a bottle of brandy. That dark November evening, I couldn’t see the state they were in til it was too late. Both proper real people. One of em wrote a book about her life story. Someone told her in front of me it wouldn’t sell. No one would be interested in her life story. She`d wrote “too much”. Her surname crops up in my families past twice. A hundred years apart. One night she had a scrap with another patient. I had to dive in to split em up. ive got every reason to believ, if we followed her family tree back, it would be into mine just a few generations ago. that’s why I fought her off.

I remember watchin one man utd game in the champions league. I remember thinking at one point, if I could give up all my energy to one of the players, I would. That last burst of energy that creates a goal. I said it out loud to Sid. We were hangin on for dear life in the latter stages of a very important game. Fcuk me if two goals dint go in. sheringham got one. who got the other..? beckham got one when I thought the same thing against Greece. I willed it in. the best way I can describe it, would be to say dad kept the wind down for it.

It could be argued, that I went off to anstey and the jordans, to get a bit of culture injected into our family. Until I met lisa, I never ate out in restaurants, I never went to the theatre, or a football match. All of em I enjoyed loads. The theatre was more enjoyable than I thought. We saw the Queen and i, rockhard, the Jackie Wilson story, and the seventies equivellent to rock hard. Hot stuff or somethin. I loved em all. shame we couldn’t smoke or enjoy a drink watchin it. if we can churn out weapons and arms like nobodies business, when we need to, why cant we start churnin out extractor fans and air conditionin units. Stick em in all the public places, the non smokers need to chill more. The journey to gain permission from god to smoke cannabis went as follows through history, (pretty much the same kind of journey to permit eating meat. Il do that one in a minute. After ive toked a spliff, an ate this pork pie.) first we had wine. Jesus earnt us the right to drink wine, because he abstained. Obviously, the working mans idol would be a beer drinker. Dad was. he abstained from drinkin beer when he worked high up on those chimney tops and church steeples. He earnt it for us when he came down. I remember the rows dad used to have with sis. Her teachers were telling her how wrong it is to drink. He could never tell sis why he argued. That would have been letting one of his cats out the bag. Tobacco came along several hundred years ago. that was part of the key. Granddad smoked park drive all his working life and a few years beyond. He gave up one day, he just stopped. He even walked round with a packet in his pocket to prove to himself he could do it. his will power was unbelievable. He wasn’t giving up smoking for health reasons, he knew already cancer wouldn’t take him. he was abstaining in his own way. Like sayin to god, you didn’t get me that way”. Stickin 2 fingers up at god again. I could see it all at the time. he earnt tobacco for us. Then comes cannabis. Lee was bringin me some on his bike, when he came off and broke his neck. He died for 2 ½ minutes. He sat outside the next morning, picking his teeth out laughin, smoking what he died fetching. That was dads way of testing him. I could see that too, and i could say nothing to anyone. now how we earnt Gods permission to eat meats, goes as follows. It ties it all up with kings as well. the bull has to be faced head on in a fight, to earn man the right to eat it. in gods laws that is. my dog sid, his breed fought the bull. My granddad fought the same breed dog. with less than what god gave him at birth. Ive fought with sid but not in that way. Granddad had an alsation called king. he was the same size for his breed as sid is in his. The thing I love about sids eyes, is they match mine when im stoned. Im sure I sound a right loser, weak and pathetic. I don’t care. It inspires me to write. That will logically be the best thing you could wish for. having as many of jesus todays thoughts on paper, as possible is vital. Just in case I don’t live long. 

One bloke at kingsway gets his very own chapter. A bloke I just cant forget to write about. an amazing character. BRIT ! an ex para, who got kicked out for bein too rough. In his own words, the biggest firm in the country couldn’t handle him. the army aint the biggest firm in the country. The buildin trade is. he started back at kingsway a few months after me. the gaffer had told me all about him before he got there. so did all the lads. They said he could torture me if he didn’t like me. like he did with mouse and wheels. Lez used to make the instruments of torture. A roman catholic lad. He helped out in the mock crucifixtion that one of em went through. The gaffer told me that brit didn’t like anyone who didn’t work hard. So id better make sure I pull my weight. Brit didn’t give a fcuk what I got up to. he was a great bloke. He Played rugby for syston. He was forever getting his ears torn, or black eyes. a Real Trooper. He used to get a lift in with tim an giles. His bro an bro in law. I used to hide behind the old water tank at the back, and jump out on brit in the dark. 6 am`s dark in winter. I used to frighten the life out of him. he got me back good tho. He crept round the back of the tank behind me one morning.  That factory was freezing in winter. Boilin in the summer. Brit liked a good piss up like most rugby players do. He`d get totally blotto`ed, the night before, and come in work as fresh as a daisy. Just like our mark did. I used to get hangovers bad enough to take Fridays off. payin me on a thursday was never a good idea. I lived my money. I didn’t save it. I wanted the experiences it affords you. today not next week. brit was a bit the same I think. He was always in the nick in the army from what I can make of it. he told me about all sorts of things that made an impact on me.  he taught me a 3 turn waterknot, which came very handy when tyin hooks at fishin. Its still the only tie I know with fishin line. And I can do all those different ties with wood. Or cane. You give me any shape, I can cover it perfectly, leavin no trace of where the raps start or finishes. The cross I had to cover completely, is a perfect example of that. brit would tell me about some of the things he did overseas. In germany, he was in a basement nightclub, with a few para mates.They bought their beer in big jugs. Brit decided he wanted to take it home with him.his mates downstairs carried on drinkin.The first bouncer came down the stairs, shortly followed by a second. The third person down was brit. He did manage to get the jug home tho. And 2 germans kopped it of a BRIT. He told me about when he was in hong kong. Theyd find dead bodies out on patrol by the river banks. They also came across whackin great pythons. Id love to see one of them. From the time I stroked the grass snake over the laws fence, and when I held the king snake for Lauren to stroke. George Walker, told me about brit as well. He said, if you went in the jenny (generous Briton, thrummie) and the lounge was packed, brit was home on leave, in the bar on his own with the hump. Pete told me about the time they got pissed at the open anchor. The carpark outside was full of bikers. 30 or so. Brit went up an shouted (right, which one of you cun*s is tekkin me ome then. he didn’t get a lift,but he didn’t get kicked to fcuk either. my cousin kim could’ve been there that day.

In the bowie, some womans got cancer. She goes in to get pissed and take it out on everyone else. A while ago, there was another woman who went in with terminal cancer. The difference between the two`s outlook and attitude are complete opposite. The first was my sisters mate. If im on the escalator up to dad, id like to go out like he did. Laughin all the way. That’s how I prove to the world we go to a better place after this life.

Muhammad came before jesus as history tells it. I could be wrong there because ive never read the Islamic religious books. Ive never read the bible either, I wasn’t allowed or meant to. that would have made it too easy for me to realise who I was. the reason I think Muhammad came first is very simple. When jesus died, Muhammad picked him back up. Muhammad got back up in jesus, and no one knew. Not even jesus. In the modern account of those biblical events goes like this. my big bro died of a broken neck. The same as Christopher reeve. My cousin died of a broken neck some years before. My big bro got back up, because my cousin kim picked him up. kim walks round in my big bro lee. Born on September 11^th. No one knows kim has returned to us. Only me. kim is the first half akiens asian in our family. He was taken tragically on his daughters birthday. Cruelly I thought. How can we believe in god when we are punished in these ways. The reason is simple, we weren’t bein punished. Kim died on his daughters birthday, to show me a very valuable piece of re incarnation proof. He didn’t die for nothing. He died to show me part of my jigsaw. Had he not died, I wouldn’t know what I know today. everything that has happened, has all made up part of the jigsaw. Without one piece, the rest wont come together. one event follows another.

Another change girlpower needs, is to put more women on building sites. Why shouldn’t women work in these dominantly male crafts. Im sure loads of women wouldn’t mind a day or two layin bricks for a couple of days a week. With this deal, the women get to pick where they want to lay those bricks. Make it somewhere nice, somewhere worth rebuilding. If the women can be thrown into the engineering when we were at war with germany, they can get stuck in on a building site. Imagine fats blokes walkin past and getting wolf whistled, or young blokes bein made to blush. Turn this world on its head, equality is vital in every aspect of life.

One night when lees bird was livin with us, she was home alone. She heard someone tryin to get in my downstairs bedroom window. The next morning you could see scrape marks up the wall, and my window was twisted out, from where it had been forced. Its still like it now. that was only a few years ago. That could have been a number of birds. Vicki used to get taxis a tenner each way from goscote. She climbed over the gate to see if I was in or not. when I went of to work at the pizza shop in goscote, (I earnt the last of what I needed for Greece here. turks were payin me. a quirk of fate.) there was a Scottish bird whop worked there. we got on great an I gave her a lift home each night.she was married to a turk and lived together seperatly. All we did was chat, and have a laugh at work. The boss`s 14 years old daughter was forever blushing. She couldn’t put 2 words together to me. bless. One night I was upstairs in my room wi Karen. The bird I was seein when i went kavos. This jock bird turned up steamin, telling me what she`d do to me if she got the chance. When I told hewr my bird was upstairs, fcuk me, she nearly went up the wall. The things you do pissed eh. God knows what Karen made of it all. to say it came out of the blue would be bang on. She was in her early 30`s. I didn’t expect that from her. it wasn’t as tho we`d kissed or ote. the next shift saw her blushin like the young un. Mustaffa was/is a top bloke. A really nice man. loves his trips to the casino. Everyones got their thing. Muzzy izzets uncle helped pay for the blue armies boyscout trip to kavos. That holiday played heavily in my discovering the future of all beneficial worship starts with fantasy football, and girlpower. Another quirk of fate.  

The true men of allah are the true men of valor. These are the men who promote peace and help all those who suffer.those monsters who took those planes on September 11^th, how they can ever believe theyre doing gods work, is beyond me. these bastards go off to somewhere very unpleasant. God has a place for their souls. Shoutin god is great, then blowing lots of people up, ive got some news for you boys. You aint doin gods work, and you aint goin of to a glorious place in heaven. my lot are waitin for them. When I join them, we have everything we need in that other place. Evil is with them. In this world, im the full opposite. Shame the vicars cant see it. spineless wa*kers. They have their place waitin in the next life as well. to stand in the way of gods work, the work that stops all those evil 911 acts, which is more punishable….? 

All them pen pushin brief case boys, the stock brokers an such, city boys, I imagine they all have a pc or 2. life in the office counting money and worshipping bank balance figures, is a thing of the past. everyone helps build this new world. the benefits you have at the end of my work, is all the incentive you need. No one ever retires, we just have part time jobs all our lives. Working together, for each other, not money. how the hell do we achieve getting rid of money, in a world so full of greedy men .? what if I was to say, theres a load of aliens in space, watchin,waitin to come down and terrorise this earth, if they see anymore suffering. im sure mankind could find the way somehow. That’s the situation we have basically. If those changes don’t start happenin after ive gone, Armageddon arrives. With me helping you all, I take us all out of it.worshipping money over life, causes untold suffering. a very good example on telly last night of greedy men, was the panaorama program concerning the nhra. A drug has been issued to kids, knowing it has adverse sometimes fatal consequences. These people should be thoroughly ashaed of themselves. The psychiatric system doesnt have a clue about how to handle these patients properly. I know because I saw it first hand with my own eyes. all the patient failings. The injections people get to be made to sit quietly. Tablets given out like sweets. no one ever came to talk to me ever. I expected some therapy at least. The 12 weeks they kept me in for, was largely down to the fact my doctor knew I was writing a book. at every weekly meeting, he would mention it, and make a joke of askin me for a copy. people were coming in, in some very bad states. Cutting themselves up and attacking other patients. they were comin in and goin back out in a couple of weeks. Why I was there all that time is a mystery to me. my behaviour never changed all the time I was there. a model patient. You could ask all the staff there, im sure theyd agree with you. I got on with everyone there. I made it easy for myself, by just rollin with the system.The place could be hellish at times.  

Pukka pies are pukka pies. I asked the girls I used to take home off the twilight shift.

The one an only just came on the radio. De ja vu that makes me laugh. The times I had women singin that to me in my cab an in pubs an clubs. The Mole did it. that was one stereotypin i could really have done without. chesney bloody hawkes...  call me anything but that. even tho i am the one and only. 

Before i delivered either food to the thousands, and then the thouasands of people, i delivered the news. for who else, but kings news. hungover, me an Mick, Tony Blair Manship. saturday and sunday mornings were spent deliverin the papers. when i werent workin ay kingsway that was. when you see the resemblance i see in tony blair an mick manship, it will blow your mind. they even walk the same. those two need to meet up as well. George Walker B just aint gonna believe his twin out here. the george walker i know even has the idea of a new hobby. the george i know, wants to go back in time to an age old craft. he weants to do some blacksmithing in his retirement. all these crafts need to make a comeback. our steam heritage should have more of a pride of place in our history. it got us where we are today. having a prouds history helps you keep in touch with who you are. where you come from. one regret i would like to lay at the door of the vicars conscience, is that i would have dearly loved to meet Fred Dibnah. What an amazing character. even tho dad didnt like him much. how can you dislike a bloke like fred. its impossible. dad encouraged it in me, like he disencouraged me to play footie OR read the BIBLE. me liking fred, is pretty much the same wi me liking beckham. both of em should be way down my list popularitywise. fred pulled down my inheritance for a oner a time. everytime beckham fcuked things up, i got booted out here. Fred once said in one of his programmes, he would sometimes climb a chimney after a few pints. dad called him an idiot. i remember it like it was yesterday. he said he could get blokes killed talkin like that. dad and granddad felt very very strongly, about climbing on grit. not beer. that had to wait until theyd finished their days climbing. to them they earnt it. Dad felt cheated he got all the attention he got. he was quite rightly jealous. he felt the akiens were sold very short. so do i.  not for long tho. this gives us our good name back. our great name back.my old head on young shoulders, , is it surprising i have an interest in the steam age. that era was a magical age for england. it saddened me no end to hear of Freds passing. i felt cheated i could have met him if other people had a fraction of the self belief he had. like our lot had. had i met Fred in time, i had a favour to ask. one i have to ask his family instead now. all those chimneys Fred pulled down, of the 89, how many did Fred have the plans for...? could i have copies please..? im sure he`d be laughin out loud up there, right beside my dad, and he is up there with my dad, because he climbed his way up in life like dad did. he didnt climb on drink all the time dad. to see everyone puttin the buggers back up again. and i mean everyone. volunteers. im pretty sure Fred would love to see that. in one program he said he preferred repairing them to pulling them down. once theyve gone back up, they need new purpose. why not cover em in greenery all the way up, throughout the summer. gange baskets all the way up. you want a smoke, you plant it, care for it, respect it, then you toke it !!  We should celebrate that success england enjoyed during those empire boom years. we can enjoy it now without the smog. GWB can help out if he wants. theres no invite. he joins in when hes ready. like everyone. Like Mr Bin laden. his twins a medical student in Leicester, who helped give birth to Lauren my oldest daughter. those two have to meet up as well. i dreamt of oussama around the time i first started to dream of my dad. both are needed. it wont work with only one of em.  hes gonna be the happiest american president ever. hes the one who helps kickstart buildin the heavens stateside. all he needs to do, is order a "green ozone friendly carpet bombing" of belgrave. is he powerful enough to order that kind of strike..?  if hes the most powerful man on the planet, he should be able to , surely. thats the miracle i need to see from the yanks.  then i`ll know theyre takin me seriously . theyll know i have them surrounded. surrounded by who i become in the next life. who jesus became in his next life. . who my dad became in his next life. with the level of power my dads shown me, those yanks arent a superpower, not compared to the akiens they aint !!. dad called me evil for lots or reasons. do you seriously want to risk findin out the hard way, what that could entail...?   let me die your secret, you get to find out. if you knew about me and kept me a secret, i know the way back to you. in your dreams, is just one way. 20grm childproof bags of  supergrass. thats the drug that solves all the problems we get from the other dirty drugs. its the natural parachute the mind needs to get through all this.the bush admin need to be doin just that. if you managed to take cannabis off the streets for good, which you never will, unless you block out the sun, the streets would be full of bloodshed. this is the drug that stops that. it chills people out. the benefits of smokin it far outwiegh the risks that come with it. when you take it back right, it takes you right back. all the way back to your last life and beyond. and all those in your future as well. the bible brought you proof of life after death. mine brings you proof of life after life after life. cannabis is what gave me the vision i needed, to see my way through it all. you have cannabis, and the book that guides you through all the worst madness`s you could have. all rolled up into one. my book is the map out of that hell on earth for all of us. ii had to get thru it all on my own. Sid was with me obviously. he guides me in his own way too. for example, when i was playin in the back yard wi Sid, i whipped a few round him. that got him riled. fired up. a few minutes later, he bought me down. injurin me. he dived at me head first, takin the wind out my sails completely. he cracked a couple of ribs. england were playin that night, and i likde to get a bit of practise in, to get in the mood more. ritual-like. summat i thought id never live to see the day. what would dad say. as i limped off injured, i feared the worst. somethin was goin to go wrong for kipperfeet up there on the world stage. i had a bath before the game to try and ease the swelling and the pain. when i came downstairs, Sid had done this to my shoe.

 i dont have the luxury of a new pair every game. i dunno the meanin of bling. i had one pair. my workboots. not only did i have to sit and watch with cracked ribs, i had no workshoes. on top of all that, i had to sit an watch the other goldenballs fcuk it up. i saw it all coming. he had a bad game for englnad that night. i had it worse than anyone. the difference being, ive never slagged him off once. when ive got more right than anyone.  supergrass for the supergrass. thats what im doin basically. grassin everyone up for all the crap theyve done. it gets em all of the hook if they think about it. they wont be tho, because theyll be too busy shittin themselves to begin with. dad always told me, if i told the truth, i couldnt go wrong. i can tell the truth, because im not afraid of it. i walk my walk of shame in this like everyone else. 

In our breakfast room at mams, we had a punch bag up for a few months. It didn’t last very long. By the time I was finished with it, my knuckles were shining. Specks of blood dottad the bag red. It was white when we got it. what I loved most about the punshbag, I could really unleash. The speedball I put up got my shoulders in wicked shape. Ripple on ripple of lean raw readiness. Ive still got em today. them ripples haven’t left me anymore than the ferocity in my ability has. If Geri wants an alpha male, she`s certainly got that fcuker !!!

All this trouble that’s goin onm in the gaza strip. From what I can see, Israel are trespassing. Not to worry. With the new world we don’t have any borders. We all come an go an get along properly. Like the civilised society we can be.

When I left wolsey house, I went ellis like our lee did. We weren’t in the catchment area for ellis, we should have gone Beaumont leys. We went ellis because roddy beck did. Our god bro. He should have gone boggy fleas as well. I could have gone to loughboro grammar school wirth my mate dave Rochester. Ako, Micheal portillo. We were on the Topp Table in class 14. the cleverest table in the school. The best table to be on. I was a percent or two below the qualification level needed to get there on merit. Like im gonna go loughboro grammar school, wearin a uniform an all that. fuck that. I wanted to go ellis. I was apprehensive and curious,but not worried at all. it was like headin out into an unknown world. id be the little kid for the first time again in a long time. how many times will I have to prove myself here. how many times will I get idiots come at me for my name. a few came, I took a few dives when I had to, all them dives are rectified through this. my first year was all about assessing my intelligence level. there were some great teachers and some great berks. The second year saw me split up fom all my mates. All the other clever kids were mostly asian. My first year grades let me down. I continued to work hard that year and the third year saw me with even less of my mates. By the fourth year, id pretty much gave up on school. Id learnt all they could teach me. that classroom stuff wasn’t doin me any good. there were a few lessons I enjoyed and went to. I never got offered the chance to do woodwork. Only metal work. How ironic I should be such a gifted specialist carpenter. A rapper. Biology interested me a lot. Mr nash was a wicked teacher. Liking him made it more enjoyable. A dwarf of a bloke, big enough to jump out of planes for charity. A proper bloke. A biker as well. his bmw bike looked excellent. He went past me on birstall roundabout a few times. He broke the law every time. it shifted. Photosynthesis an all that. I used to sometimes nip in and see granddad on the way home. ho only lived on beaumanor road round the corner form ellis. I loved to sit with him, looking up at the chimney dad called a baby. I thought it was perfect granddad could sit knowin he stood at the top of that chimney with my dad. dad called it a baby. id tell granddad about some of the stuff id learnt at school. Grandma was still with us then. he told me how it was when he was at school at what lessons he enjoyed most. Rugby was his favourite as was german. German was a favouerire of mine, but always bein skinny, I never fancied rugby. If someone fouled me id lose it. I couldn’t risk it. we played in pe when we had to, but I never enjoyed it. we had some great laughs. Especially with some of the Indian lads. Rajan ladd, vijay mistry, hitesh rae, n-n-n-nilesh, damendra ketchup, an loads more. Most of em will remember me. we played murderball on the school field at dinner time. one kid got both his legs broke. Lee warden steamed into steven Stafford. I remember one lad had his 2 front teeth knocked out. they got embedded in someones forehead. That was playin rugby I think tho. Lee fowkes, and dave Whitaker. Ones a shelf stacker today, the others an air traffic controller. Not much difference in job is it. the wanker of the two is the shelf stacker. 

Just lately my dreams have been getting happier.  I had two dreams in the same night. The first I was on a beach, on my hands and knees crawling away from the oncoming sea. A tidal wave was rushin in. I was laughin as I crawled towards the sand dunes, when everyone else was running. I knew I would make it even on my knees. The other dream that night, was of a black bloke with long dredds. Like corrinnes bloke clive. He was just goin in a shop as he told me I should have been a rasta. He was laughin as he said it.

Apparently, jeeves is walkin in the owl and the pussycat shoiutin “right, is there any fuckin birds in here for me to shag tonight” .  …. My ghreat granddad killed three men for far less than that. you didn’t even swear in front of the wife. Such a sad pathetic little twat. The night he told me I was nothing like him, he was dead right. he has no comprehension of exactly who I am or what I can do in a fight.

Before I went to work for topps taxiin, I went to a firm in birtsall. Fast eddies. A big chubby black bloke. The office didn’t look like it was ever cleaned. Threadbare Settees, and dirty carpets. Fast eddies interview went along the same line. “ok so you’ve never drove a taxi before, well let me tell you, theres taxi drivers, and theres wankers. Which are you?” fcuk you I thought. If you can be that blunt on the first meeting, that rude, he can get fcuked. Another thing, was I didn’t have my own car. Id have to drive one of his. One of em was a cortina for fcuks sake. Id put money on it id be drivin that fcuker. When I went to topps, it was altogether different. Kerry for a start brightened up the place. Kelv made everyone laugh. He could see the benefits of havin a good moral amoung the lads. When I joined Topps, I got the firms knacker. I expected it. I expected to be startin at the bottom. How it should be. their Nissan primera was a bit more acceptable. By the time I was drivin their white peugot 406, I knew I could say to fast eddie I wasn’t a wanker, next time I seen him. sadly, I still haven’t seen him to tell him. andy and kelv were clearly gutted when I told em I had to leave. So was i. Kingsways better offer, and the security I thought they would give me, I got it all arsehole backwards. I should have stayed at Topps in hindsight. Id love to see that film I saw advertised in the video box window. The one with the lad drivin a white pegot 406 like the one I drove. Something happens in that film that happened to me. I know without seeing it. is that not a form of seeing into the future.? 

Julie, a woman I met in glenfield nuthouse, had a similar experience to me. her husband had tried his best to drive her to commit suicide. Like both my ex gaffer and my ex missus did with me. most of the mental trouble these kinds of things cause to people, are all perfectly normal reactions. Try telling someone, that the person you had children with is tryin to tip you ove the edge purposely. You sound mad. When you have proof of it like oth Julie and I had, you have to wonder if she went off the rail or not. A very special person who showed me nothing but kindness. Theres a few other unseen coincidences, that tell me Julie is a special person, who I was always meant to meet, from 2000 years ago and longer. She was always going to come into my life. because of birthdays in her family. Dad dying on September 4^th, made it the most painful day in my calender. Through Julie, I found something good at last, that happened on that day. julies grand daughter was born. nothing odd in that. coincidence. Could be. her daughters birthday is on june 14^th. Those are the only 2 I know in her family. I don’t know julies. The connection with the birthdays here is, our lees daughter was born on june 14^th, our dad died on the 4^th September. Their other birthdays, WILL show a pattern with our amilies. Even before I know them.

One fight I had was down abbey meadow mills. On the slope opposite the boatyard to be exact. Halfway up. we`d been down the river skivin when a load of rushey mead lads came down ellis for a fight. we had to make a run for it. there were only a few of us. Me glover, rolf, and daff. Maybe someone else, im not too sure. We bumped into a few lads who also had to make a run for it. lee taylor was one of em. hed been expelled from ellis for somne reason and went longslade. A girl I knew in birstall had slept with this wanker. He was black mailin her into having sex with him. if she didn’t, we`d tell everyone. Luckily she didn’t before I bumped into him. in my mind, that was rape. So we hatched a little plot to sort him out. I told them what he`d done, and we agreed to all dive on him an give him a good hiding. I had to make the first move though. I called him over to me, sayin I wanted a quick word. As we were walkin up the slope side by side. I hooked my left arm into his right, swingin him towards me. my head made a perfect connection with the bridge of his nose. His nose burst immediately, covering both of us in blood. I gave him a dig to the body just for the hell of it. I asked the lads where the fuck were they, they said they felt sorry for him. their help wasn’t needed. he met justice that day. he went on to rob a jewellers, maybe one on the golden mile, who knows.? He went on to rape an  80+ year old lady in her bed, as he burgled her house. He went off to commit suicide in prison so I heard. There is justice in the world, when you know where to look for it.

When I was a kid, I remember seeing my aunt Jackie down grandma and granddads. I was maybe 4. it was down martin street. She had a bag of fifferent coloured boiled sweets. every time I guessed the colour right, I got the sweet. How much incentive is that to get a kid learnin. I picked my colours up very quick. there was however a drawbeck. One I didn’t see comin at all. then I had to give my aunt a kiss. I wasn’t isn’t that sloppy kissin stuff then. I didn’t like the idea, but there could be more sweets to follow. From the very tender age of 4 years old, I was bein shown how to ponce. In later life, I perfected that art. When youve got the csa skinnin you, and your workin all hours, needs must. I was never meant to have it easy.

My  bird up there on the world stage, the 53^rd state, the song she wants to sing to me, is “hes so fine” by the chiffons and“my boyfriends back” the Angels. Listen to them, the words are perfect. Whoever she is, she gets to pick a song I have to sing. The one who picks the song I have in mind, is “the one” in my life. all the divas need to record both. all of em will have their hats in the ring.

The akiens seem to have always had this brotherly rivalry. Its alive an kickin in me mark and lee. When we fall out, none of us will back down to each other. That’s what makes it so nasty what gabbys doin with marks head. She wants us afllin out, so she can have a drama to go on about in our family. When mark realises just what sort of person he married, he will be glad of my honesty. It gets him out of a life ahead of him that will only see him miserable. Dragged down to that level by someone who has no morals, no sense of humour, no decency. How long would it hurt mark, if he realised his wife had tried it on with both his brothers. This is one of the secrets our family keep from mark. All his immediate family knows. When I was seeing jo perkins a few years ago, mark was seeing jo behind my back. All my mates in the pool team knew. This is just that coming back at him. its not meant to hurt him or equal things up, its being told because the truth has to come out. he has to find out one day. before he wastes too much of his young life on her. they can be happy if they split, so can the kids. If both parents agree to not behave like kids, you can make it work for them. Another aspect of our rivalry, is how jealous they were, lee in particular, at my success with women. it has always caused a lot of resentment. They are probably unaware of how bitchy they can be towards me. I wouldn’t have thought my bro`s would knock me for walkin like jack, but they did. All the things I did, its like they were ashamed almost. It wasn’t shame though, it was just jealousy. It was like I had both mine and lees share of confidence. He resented me because he had very little success with women. that wasn’t my fault I made it work for me, when I perfected the art of pulling. Lee pisses me off big time. he sits telling people he`s the bad lot in our family. “ive always been the black sheep of our family” he would tell adam. Excuse fcukin me, but no he wasn’t. by dads own admission, I was treated differently. He called me evil for fcuks sake. How much more do you need to tell you Im the black sheep. I even had a black eye at granddads funeral to point me out. if lee wants to portray himself as an outcast, its because he shied away from the family. Whenever we had family visit us, he would stay in his bedroom out the way. He wasn’t the blackshgeep at all. theres no way im gonna let him try to say he had it worse than I did. I just aint. I didn’t go through all this shit for nothing. Dad called me evil, and he treated me as such. I acted as such at times. That’s why I needed to be treated differently to the others. Everything ive done in my past, whenever I bring any of it up, lee goes on about me livin in the past. like im not allowed to tell people anything about my life. purely because he hasn’t done a fraction of the stuff ive done, and it makes his life seem all the more worthless. He has none of my achievements, none of the experiences ive been through. As we were walkin through town with matt last night on terri`s birthday, I was telling matt about some taxi story. About 2 minutes into it, lee just interrupted, and blurted out, “yeah who cares about any of that” then he just started his own topic of conversation. Probably about some bullshit story that didn’t really happen in lees real world. he has this, “I know loads of psycho`s, and im one myself. You just don’t fuck with me.Everywhere I go people fear me. my clothes are what make me who I am”. They don’t lee, and khirstie, however savage you might think she is and her dad is. in an argument or in a fight, I can wipe the floor with them. As I can with anyone alive.if I had to. not any other reason. Physically and mentally, I cant be beat. I get on great wi k`s family. I think theyre a wicked bunch of down to earth people. An honesty thats refreshing. as much as I love my bro`s, they get the truth as well. if theyre akiens like I know them to be, for all their faults, theyre aren’t above the truth. Just like im not. We all have walks of shame. One of mine, is that I stole money from granddad. that blackeye, was from him. I took a hit from beyond the grave. I deserved it, but couldnt prove it at the time. I can now. I already have in the last book I wrote.

One story wheeler bought back from Greece cheesed me off a fair bit. Gangs of greek lads would ride past the English lads cloutin em round the back of the head as they went past. knowin any kind of trouble would result in the English lager louts getting nicked. Spineless little turds. Im glad that didn’t happen to me. I know id have countered it with a hit that would’ve broke the idiots neck. I didn’t encounter any of that. I heard about stuff shitloads worse. Shit that’s goin to stop.!   They were doin more than bitin the hand.

When we went in alivels at the end of a night out sept 11^th 04, I saw a king burger on the menu an i thought id check it out. a king burger for the king of kings. The great thing about that burger, was the way in which it was served. The bloke remembered me from ages ago. when I used to pick people up from there in my taxi, an when I sat in there half pissed wi my mates at the end of our nights out in Leicester. That’s if we weren’t walkin home down st margarets way. He was genuinely pleased to see me. a great big smile on his face. it kind of made the burger more enjoyable. To say it was fit for a king, it is. any king worth his salt, would see that burger as better than going hungry. The treatment the real royals get in this country, you can keep it. im the sort who likes to do things himself. I couldn’t just lay back and let everyone wait on me hand and foot.

When adam went kavos last year, 03, he gave a good account of the chapmans. He looked good for them, like I did the ako`s. A proper buzz rat. The stuff I saw on the video made me piss. He made it look good for netherhall, and he made it look good for England. in hindsight, id have had a much more lively time in kavos if id gone wi these lot. Chappo, ako god, had the whole whole place cheerin him on. In the competitions he went in. one had him drinkin a pint glass full of second hand hand beer passed along a line. He was at the end of it. when it was full of flem, spit, chewing gum, amongst other disgustin things. He downed it in one and won it for Leicester. A proper proper brit. Sids god father. Im proud to call him that. theres only one adam chappo. He lives in marshals old house and gets called eminem. That scupid tunt aint got fcuk all on our eminem. When them 2 shakehands, both of em are as nervous as each other. Jus like I will be when it comes to shakin beckhams hand. The England captain is to me, what eminem is to chappo. Blokes we both admire shitloads. Our life stories will blow your minds. Adam used to go round the gyppo sites fightin their best, for 50 quid a time. how many kids would do that at 15. he whipped all of em. what he does in a fight, that’s me with ginger hair. He became a dad on april 18^th just like I did. I see chappo like another bro. In the same way dad saw uncle joe as bein a bro to him. he told me that joe was the only man who joined our family, who could have made it as a steeplejack. that meant a lot to dad. as much as he loved workin wi thick micks, he knew they have some of the cleverest people in the world. which logically, the balance of nature and the law of averages will command. I know one. a comic genius. Laurence Wall. Like an irish dad to me. his lines were corny but how he said it made me laugh. “knock knock, whos there, scott, scott who, scott nuttin to do witch u”. like I said, if you heard him say it, youd know. beam me up Scottie and whoops Scotties were others he used. typical paddy, only about 10 years behind everyone else. Treated me like a king always. He was the irish jester. He has the same sense of humour dad had.

When all man and woman kind are united,working together, we can do anything we want. As for the space race, we`ve got plenty down here. before we`re building cities on other planets, we have to build one on the ocean floor. Theres plenty of time to get off.the meteor aint comin until January 23^rd 19161. without me writin this book, we wouldn’t have stood a cat in hells chance of getting out of its way.Im sure youre all thinking how mad that must sound.How can I see that far into the future. If you told me 3 years ago I was jesus an had a 2000 year memory, id have said you were Jacobs. What I went through when I saw the times of those plane chrashes on September 11^th, the shocks that ripped thru me were like Real electricity. Shocks that lasted hours. I know im the one. there should be no doubt in your mind by now. if I can see that far back without bein there,I can see that far forward,surely.I could be wrong,that date might not see a meteor.It could see my return next time. either way,it’s a long time waitin for whatever it is innit.All this thinkin stems from smoking cannabis. It inspires me through a vision, as yet un known by anyone on earth. I prove to the world cannabis is the furthest we need to go drugwise. Different people have different cups of tea. Some get high on wine, some on beer, some on magic mushrooms, base,an E`s.ive never had base,magic mushrooms or an E.I din’t need to go any higher than smoke.Because its the key that gave me this vision,it has to be legal ised.My Real big bro didn’t die fecthin it for nothing.He was picked back up to show me it’s the way forward.If it wasn’t,God wouldn’t have picked him back up the way he did.All these different experiences,are what god allows us if we get every thin else right around it.it’s the key that took me back all the way to jesus. It takes everyone back to jesus.My book isn’t somethin you judge me on, its something you copy.its also a book you`l read again an again,to draw inspir ation from it. when you have you life on paper like I have, you will be amazed at how full your lifes been. Your book doesn’t end with your life. your family and friends carry it on. How much information do you think you can get on one disk. Ill tell you. thousands and thousands of pages. All on one little round flat disk. The one with my story on it, is my chimney. when you put it next to the chimneys dad and granddad used to climb, its hard to believe mines bigger than all of them isn’t it. well it is, when you think about it. they stepped out onto chimney tops, feelin the greatest buzz in the world up there. an bein paid for it. we stood at the tops of them chimneys hit by lightenin. The ones broken clean through their spines. We rocked up there, an I have to bring all down to earth. I have to get this place rockin.

I just saw one of the family on telly. Major alestair aitkens. Hes part of that group of Englishmen who are bein sent off to fight in the worst trouble spots in iraq. Blackwatch. I hope he comes back safe and sound, for father jimmy an phils sakes. If anything happens to him, that tragedy echoes out onto the world stage as well.

A few days this week ive been out in the street playin football wi ace. Warmin up for the England match. Me whippin em in as usual. Like it says in the advert beckham was in, “he`s always out there practisin.” My neighbours will be sayin that. i got nearly all of em in the drop zone. Only about 4 or 5 went over the hedge.Out of maybe 70 shots that aint a bad success rate. I had a rib injury off Sid.I took a gid in the left ribs. As much as it hurt, the therapy I get from playin outweighs the pain. I got loads in the top right corner. I was practisin takin em with 2 touches. To get past Sid. One to roll it, the next delivers. I wasn’t a bit surprised he got one like he did. Same with the injury and the card. Back to his best. so he misses the next game. Gives us chance to get some practise in. down billo. Sometimes when football was on, the lads would ask me if im watchin it. id say, “yeah, im on standby so I aint out tonight. Just in case I get called up”. it always got a laugh. How little did they know. im thinking, am I watchin it, im fcukin playin mate. My shadow copies me.both the good an the bad.its time 2 make it all good.joinin us up takes away all the bad.its that simple.For me 2b writin this way about a game of football,is a miracle in itself.I grew up bein told footballer s were all poofs.I was never encouraged to play when I should have.Id be in beckhams shoes now. I had as much to do with football as I did religion. Dad despised the bible.this was because of a famous court case.John Christie.The ex policeman who butchered young women.Richard attenborough, another Leicester lad played him in the film. 10 Rillington place.The innocent man Evans went to the gallows,after the bible was sworn on.Twice.Dads thinkin was,how could god allow that to happen, if there weren’t mistakes in it. if it hasn’t worked for 2000years,why should it work now. time for somethin new.Fantasy football. I watched the Wales game in 2 halves.The first half when it was on and the second after the kids had gone bed. I thought owen was on fire. It was good to see him enjoyin his game again. beckhams back. that team is capable of anything. with Rooney takin the piss out of defenders like he does, it’s a dream to see. Cole, lampard, butt,  the belief I give these lads, theyre playin like lions for England. Comin from a bloke who knows pretty much fcuk all about the game, the worst bit for me, was booin the national anthems. I dunno how the international selection works, but from what I can make of it, gigs could’ve played for England couldn’t he. That was always a mystery to me why he opted for wales instead of England. it obvious tho. Hes proud 2 b welsh.Just as every nation should be allowed the same pride.England are the lucky ones,because god sent an Englishman.And those animals that couldn’t keep their bastard mouths shut durin the minutes silence for ken,I sat thinking, just drag the bastards out, ill sort em out later. If kens family could have him back, the happiness that would give them is the very same I can give them.Ken gets back up in me.Kens up there with my dad,getting ready to laugh out loud, just as soon as his family are down here. that probably sounds sick, at a time like this. it’s the very opposite of that.

adams mate came down the other day, and we had a kick about in the street. adam told his mate, “watch what scott does with a football. its amazing.” the first 3 or 4 didn’t hit the target. the ball was a bit flat. then i got a couple bang on target on the trot. chappo (god) sees them all the time. ace an lucien get on the end of most of em though. i just cant wait to show beckham what they look and feel like. he can show me.

the first time you read this, it aint nowhere nears as funny as the twelth time. by then youll have fully realised the importance of me putting as many of my thoughts on paper/disk as possible.

I had to laugh at granddads funeral. After the service we all went back to the Hoskins for the wake. One of the saddest events of my life, for me to laugh at anything that day, it musta bin funny. It was because of who was who in the scenario. I went in the back room where all the food and everyone was, and I saw my aunt mary. Uncle terrys missus. The ex wife of a vicar. She called me over and gave me a kiss. On the lips. The burning sensation my lips felt, it was like kissin the devil I imagine. Fcuk me I thought, them vicars must have asbestos lips if not asbestos arseholes. Me being me I couldn’t keep the reaction to myself. The words came out before my brain got out of neutral. “jesus Christ, how the bloody hell do you kiss mary wi that breath ?” a few laughed, I remember that. apparently there were one or two hot dishes on the buffet. how was I to know. im sure mary will remember that. maybe one or two more. Those are the stories we all need to be addin. The funny ones.

Someone in the family pissed me off that day. I had to keep it in. the result was I had a few tears. Not tears you would expect, tears of rage. The frustration at having to keep it to myself.

One of Jacks walks will give you de ja vu. Real de ja vu, with a heaven sent twist. A joyous twist that will have you laughin out loud. that bird who sings I wish by the lighthouse family, in the advert. as shes givin out cans of coke. When I sing that song, its wicked. I aint had much singin practise. Only to the birds I danced with in town. Most of em told me to stop. Depending on the song, id sooner stop dancing wi the bird an sing on my fcukin own. Which I did on quite a few occasions. I never had a problem bein first on the floor so I was cool wi jiggin about on me own. I used to go up first to extra piss off people I could lip read callin me a wanker. Lads and birds. you really will hear the words to that song, as I do. Im not givin out cans of coke tho, im givin out spliffs.!! Whatever I do, I have the determination to see it through, and I pick things up amazingly fast. I always have. The calculating mind dad nurtured in me, was fuelled by a curiosity and a will to never give up or let go. The finish line is always made with the ako`s.

Out of all of us from great granddad down to me, the one person who did read the bible, was someone who kept it to himself. Dad. I found his bible from 1947. from the pages, you can see he spent a long time reading it. but he never said. He quoted lots of sayings from it. that’s where I know them from.

Mr steve danson once told me someone came up to him in a bar and asked him if he worked for kingsway. His reply was typically steve. so far up himself. Hes never had a workmate at kingsway in all them years. everyone thinks hes a tosser. He said, “do I work for kingsway, Ha, I AM KINGSWAY.” Every weekend he was pullin a pair of crackin 18 year old birds. With a missus as nice as jo at home, I could never see why. He had cameras fitted into the spotlights above the bed at his amy street house. They filmed loads of stuff without the birds knowin. Personally, I think it’s a load of bullshit to be honest. Who knows. ?

to cut down on cancer deaths in cannabis smokers, all we have to do is see how I build spliffs. With proper trainin, it becomes much safer. Like bein taught how to iron in the army. A trait I would like to see extended to every bloke. I learnt to iron when I came back to mams, cos I wouldn’t have pulled if I wore a shirt after she`d ironed it. that’s no reflection on mams ironin, more my perfect ionist attitude. I enjoy ironin today. Most of the people i toke with cant build proper spliffs. Yeah they get a buzz, but they don’t make it look good. one bird I know builds spliffs in the shape of a cross. Another sign from dad that gange is the way out of this hell on earth. It probably doesn’t seem like hell on earth to you, but it will in one of your next lives if you don’t help make the changes that are now possible.You aint doin it for me, you aint even doin it for you. youre doin it for the kids.not just yours tho. All of em. the kids in Africa, India, all the kids worldwide.We need to start buildin a world theyre all born into equal.With equal chances.Equal freedoms. The middle east needs westernising. The west needs to open up her heavens to us all. the meaning of life is to build those heavens for our kids, for when we are reborn back into it. in an ideal world, we are all born to die of old age. That is now possible without wars and the cures for all deseases comin along much much faster in a secret free society we must have. If all the worlds think tanks and research teams clubbed in with their findings, I wonder how many cures we could wipe off the list of ones to beat quickly. Like mouth or throat cancer. Something very close to me. I may have one the other due to the large amounts of cannabis I smoked writin these books. Aint life a bitch, then you die. With gods help, I could be ok. either way I need a dentist immediately. Sid needs a vet as well. enjoying the heavens is made so much easier when time is on our side. retirement never comes, we just have part time jobs for life. if you want a holiday,take a shovel,a brush,a skill, a trade.Earn your keep.theres no space race now.we have all the time in the world, to sort out this place down here before we get off. we can begin to trust one another now. if a crime is committed by anone, it comes back at them to show their guilt. If we all stop at once, logically we`ll all be ok from now on. Theres no need for wars, when mankind is an itch on mother natures back living the way we do. Burning up the atmosphere with poison.

Just walkin like jack the lad, I can make loads of other walks. I can come across the floor like a frog at the kids, it makes em piss em selves laughin. They scatter all over the place to get out my way. When I grab em aqll they do is laugh. Real chuckilin laughin. I can walk like an ape as well. if it makes the kids laugh I don’t care whos watchin. Im doin it or them. They got me hoppin all over the place at one do at mark an gabbys. Im sure they all thought I was as adft as a brush and justifiably deemed to have mental problems. Who giz a shit. Like I say, I do it for the kids. I don’t see any of them stuck up gets doin ote like that to give the kids good memories to look back on. The walk I do that gets the men scatterin like mice is the impression I do of the devil. It took me a fair while to figure out but I now know why dad called me evil. So I got loads of practise in, by believin I was. I couldn’t do that walk with all those masons present. The smell would’ve put me off my grub. Theyd all be quein for the bog. All the akiens behind me in our past all rooled up in me. you just don’t want that walk comin at you. all I have to do in that walk, is walk slowly towards you. you are froze petrified to the spot, because of whats coming towards you. grinning. With a look in his eye so distant, so focused, any thought of committing a crime against god again is totally gone.

Cookin steak, this is how I do it. I could do with some tips of Jamie oliver to be honest. Im the oliver who asks fo more. I dunk the steak in a jug full of cold water. Soakin for a few minutes. Then I chuck it in the fryin pan on a low to medium light. So it cooks slowly for ten minutesw each side. then I turn the heat up to middle to high, 5 minutes each side. the spuds are cookin slowly meanwhile. The peas go in with the bloodied water the steak was soakin in. a few minutes heatin the peas isd enough to bring that gravy water to boiling point. The mushrooms are just finishing off nicely in the grill by this point after ten minutes in the frying pan with the steak. All those veggies out there, you Really don’t know what youre missin. Would you be happier enjoyin what god allows us, if we give what god allows us, a perfect life up to that point. Like cannabis, the pleasure you can get from eating, it can give you the same level buzz. I know that, without ever eating decent grub, cooked by proper chefs like Jamie. If he can knock me up a school dinner type chicken fricassee, il be amazed. That is my perfect chicken dinner. Ive asked so many peple to try to re create that culinary ecstacy. No one ever got it perfect. If he can do that very small task, he will earn himself a place at gods table in the next life. he is as heaven sent as I am. He loves his granny, just like I did an still do. God bless her.

When me an my mates went out on the piss, I had another personality with me, that I couldn’t tell my mates. The reason I had another personality, was because of how I was treated. My mates didn’t see it like I did. They all wrongly thought I was a poser, but they loved me for it. it gave them nights out they wouldn’t have had, if I wernt out. they didn’t notice people callin me a wanker to their mates. Both lads and birds. I could lip read them. My mate stu would have told me to stop thinking too much if id said ote. He always did when I touched on a subject he couldn’t advise me on. In short it went over his head. Just like it would anyone else on the planet. All those thoughts are gettin wrote down, on  paper, so he can finally make head or tail out of it. theyre all goin in here at some point. until the last breathe leaves me, I shall be making this more and more perfect. It is the world I leave behind. This book is the mark I leave on this world. all the things I did in this lifetime. Everyone knows what happened to me 2000 years ago. im makin sure theres a very detailed account of whats gone on this time. so that people like me, aren’t treated like beckham was after diego, ever again. jesus sacrificed himself, by takin all these secrets with him. just like my dad takin all his secrets with him. as he went off to assume the role of god. A role I will take over, when I leave here. I will see this world through my kids eyes, and their kids eyes. if I don’t see that world takin shape, you get punished just as the world did after jesus was crucified. Jesus went off to assume the role I will. He punished the world for 2000 years. NOT God. I know the power you have in that job. I only know, because ive been shown by my dad. all my life I never realised, he was jesus growing up, just as I became after his passing. The signs are very clear to me. they will be to you when you know what to look for. this second book im now writing, is endless. It goes on forever. My kids and their kids an so on. The first book of mine is mine. The one all the others come from. The example for others to follow. 

Before kim came along, I used to go round teresa`s next door a fair bit. There were a fair few late drunken nights. This girl can drink. Nothing was ever said directly, but there were definite signs she thought id be stayin all night. She`s a mate to me. I look at it this way. Imagine a light that shines up into the sky. A friendship, isn’t a beam that goes straight up. it has a full 180 degrees, of light, that lights up all around you. A much bigger and better relationship. That other beam, you can find that anywhere. Its best you don’t find that relationship with your next door neighbour.Not on your doorstep. It only gave me grief with kim.

What went on wi kim was truly a nightmare situation. She lived at 13 torridon close Beaumont leys. Right where lee broke his neck. Same place I took my right royal pastin at the back of her house on lommond crescent. What she went thru I couldn’t believe it was goin on. A certain individual was goin round there and forcing her to do stuff. While I was with her. she never told me, because she thought she`d lose me. when I found out the extent of it all, it had gone too far. I never wanted to be with her. she was the last person id chose ideally. Waiflike,childlike with nothing at all to say. We had fcuk all in common. She hadn’t lived. Its ok enjoyin talking about yerself but when its all one way its pretty dull. Because of what was happenin to her, in front of her little un jordon, I couldn’t walk away this time. because she moved to Norwich when she was 2, I had my cousin kim in my mind. I felt I should stick around for him. he was killed in Norwich on his bro`s motorbike. It was my way of sayin sorry to kim for not knowin him.however weird that sounds to you lot now, it will make sense soon enough. By the time you’ve read the 1^st book and this one, you`ll see what I mean. This mongrel who was virtually noncin kim, I had to take care of him without fightin. This wanker hid behind his dad. a right hard bastard apparently. Id whip him who ever he is. why should I tho. For something his son was doin. Id like that wankers dad to know exacty what his boy was doin. He can sort the bastard out. I couldn’t hide behind my dad. I wouldn’t anyway.im sure he`d enjoy straightenin out his lad. hes certainly earnt a sortin out. if kim went to the police over that, like she should have, hed be doin some seriously difficult bird. He would have been disowned, and had no one to hide behind. He knocke dmy door one night. 3 of em. stood there telin me I had to give em fags. Questioning me about what money id got. I had to keep things in order. The restraint I showed that night, it saved 3 lives. I wanted to whip em all round the garden. Until I finished this I couldn’t do any of those things again. by the time I finished it, I realised I don’t have to anymore. hes not my responsibility or my walk of shame. His shame is his dads shame. His dads the one to put it all right. I managed to stop them all goin round her house. There were a gang of lads off the estate who took the piss. When I told kim we couldn’t together anymore, she took it bad. she did everything she possibly could to hurt me for it. she went runnin off to the lads I stopped abusing her. she was on her knees for them, her song has to be, I don’t want you back. when our kid ashton leon was born, I had no say in his name. because I wasn’t with her still 3 weeks after he was born, he didn’t get my name. she was telling people I couldn’t be the dad because I suffer premature ejaculation. Yeah right. I don’t need a slut of a kid herself tellin kids as young as 8 that. my neighbours ive known all my life saw what she was doin to me. she went round most of the blokes in our street. Just to piss me off. that kids mine whatever she was sayin. Shes bought him round a couple of times since I got out of hospital. She`s got ideas of getting back together. whatever words come out of her mouth. I can see it in her eyes and in here body language. If id walked away when all that crap was goin on, she`d have committed suicide. That’s why I couldn’t walk away. She told me durin the relationship she`d tried a few time before. I knew she would be one of those that would try again. the guilt I would feel I couldn’t risk. She could see how badly lisa had treated me. that’s what kind of made it worse with kim.She knew all about lisa wishin me dead in front of our kids. How she played around as dad lay dyin. Her giving me nosebleeds, everything.  Her reason for that was kim getting pregnant. Again, she had ideas of getting back together. same body language and look in her eye as kim. She knew there was no chance we`d be getting back together after kim got pregnant. For the wrong reasons. We wouldn’t be getting back together anyway. she thought my loyalty would keep me with kim. She was wrong. Stayin together for the sake of kids is a terrible thing to do for the sake of the kids. When 2 mature people can split up amicably, the kids can be so much happier. I know because for a couple of years our kids had those mature parents. we put the kids before our own feelings.it worked.When the world has all adopted that train of thought, the kids will love it. so will the mums and so will the dads.We need to do  away wi money, and we revolve our lives around the kids. Id like to see the world revolving around my kids. I always knew from the day Lauren was born, I would do everything I could to give her all the things I wanted her to have. When the twins were born, I knew I had to do everything I could to give them both equal worlds. At the time, I thought about only those two in that way. 3 years ago I realised I could give every boy and girl all over the world the same equal start in life. wherever they live on this planet. Dad knew I would figure it out one day by myself, which I have. All my family, mates, birds, kids, have shown me a piece of the jigsaw. Mark wheeler showed me how to walk like jack.How much can you add to that wheeler ? you know the most after stupot. Wheeler showed me the way, I took it to a higher level. people hated me for it. beckham wont, an neither will any Englishman. Any lover of football or anyone interested in world peace, ending all sufferin an rape, along with child crime all over the world. Rebuildin everything in the war torn middle east, I leave the bush admin in charge of. They fcukin bombed most of em out.  

Best of british, as the gaffer said on my leavin card. The one I had to ask for. I am, I don’t need an asshole like you tellin me.

 Id love to meet Wheeler for a beer. so i can tell him the truth personally. stuff i shouldve said before. the hard part for me in all this, is that I think im on the way out mate. I wanted to say goodbye before it was too late. You gave me loads of laughs.  as many as i gave you hopefully.We had some great times at kingsway. Im sure you can remember more than I can. Start writin em down. theyre your fortune when this fcuker takes off. another dying wish, is that beckham comes to Leicester. It’s the least I can do for my old mates, you an “the Lez” I thank you for all the laughs and bein there when I needed you to be. when lisa kicked me out. im sorry for kickin off like I did. This book explains it all. you need a complete first edition. These few page I wrote today. when I say I can write for England, I can mate. Ive got thousands and thousands of pages of stuff typed out. you just wont believe some of it. I could chuck together 50 books in a couple of days. Every one of them better than return of the king. or any other film. I need my kids to know everything. Who their dad was, and the world he grew up in. if I am on the way out bud, you could call this a dying wish.  I took your advice, and wrote my life story. It’s the best bit of advice I ever had. It’s the best book you could ever read. I want every blue army fan to read it. I need help medically. So does sid. I could be ok if im caught in time. im back to my old self wheeler, but I know shitloads of other stuff somehow. Stuff I shouldn’t know until the next life mate. Im a fcukin super super genius now. and you bein my best mate, can have a life of goin to the test matches in south Africa, the football wherever. Think of me every time. and laugh out loud. your mate young un, the Rat, took over the fuckin world in one book. so what if he had to leave early. Im goin home to my dad. my lot follow. Just like you will yours mate. Ill meet you up there. if you believe it mate, all your life, you`re goin there. I`ll have a lager top waitin.

If I don’t see you before, ill see you in a while. This book is what takes away the sadness for my kids. Without this they never get over losin their dad wheeler. I need someone I trust to make sure they get a copy. This goes out as part of this book mate. Everyone knows you have that honour. And it is an honour mate. You know loads. In adding your name to it like this, I push you in at the deep end. Just like im doing with my family. I push everyone in, my true friends, swim to the surface first. by coming to see me. im makin you your fortune, weather you like it or not. I want to be there with you, not somewhere else. I want elevating to a new social level. from there I can make all my friends and families wishes come true at once. ive given you a perfect start to write everything you know. putting the stories into words is easy. Just word it like I have. Like youd say it in the pub. For the man on the street.

Mark wheeler, premier cane 6-8 Church street melton mowbray.

Remember that seven horse accumulator I had, the first 6 won, that showed me money was not my route via gambling. All that money I chucked at the lottery was a waste of time. the seventh one runnin was professional girl, typically. This is something that will seriously appeal to you mark. If you have the guts to go through with it. take this completed copy, in a carrier bag, like the gaffer used to the wages. Along to your regular bookies. Get a betting slip, and write this on it.“Jesus returns to bring football home, to England, a born again blue army fan”one pound win. Then ask them for the goin price on it. tell em you always put that extra quid bet on for luck, when England are playin. Then get another betting slip and bet a tenner on England winning the world cup.  You should get odds of at least a million. Don’t worry if you don’t, just get the best price goin. As soon as the price is down, and the one pound bet stamped in the register, simply walk along to the pay out, and give them this. then give them a handwritten letter, telling them you know who it is, and the book is all the proof you need. Tell them to consult their superiors at head office. Tell them for the money they pay out, theyre simply sponsoring jesus to bring football home. that’s where its goin. In the bring football home to the real promised land fund. Youre the treasurer. at the walkers stadium. what bookie isn’t goin to want to get the first look at the next testament. When it brings home fantasy football.  and their share prices go into orbit. They bought the rights. They all do. a no lose bet. youll see that young uns finally got the bookies sorted out. all them bets I made, didn’t come to jack shit. The seven horse accumulator, in which only the seventh and last one running let me down. it didn’t let me down. it did me a favour. It showed me I wasn’t meant to win money. that’s why im handin the bet over to you. if you want to print copies off for your mates to sting all the bookies like this, theyre more than welcome to. don’t be dense and try it twice with the same bookies. Do all of em. the more casual you can make it look, the better the chance you have of getting the bet on. Once it is, you’ve got them. After they’ve read it, they wont dare not pay out on all of them. Or they get paid by a higher order. The decision makers start fallin over. And their friends and family. Just like being ignored by the vicar. 

why wont the vicar believe jesus is a born again blue army fan ? is he a derby county fan ? Some of the songs that have made a big impact on me, all tell you a story thru this book. the perfect soundtrack. Each song is like an introduction, When dad died I think of elvis singin wonder of you.my intro to gange is tom jones green green grass of home,buffalo soldier by bob marley,tracy chapmans album.My introduction to love is true blue Madonna,my introduction to bein a dad is the bluebells,im fallin,my song for lisa giving birth to the twins,is swing low sweet chariot ub40, my intro to football is a cliff song. Theres loads more in place in the story. If you upload em all, just smoke a spliff and let the words flo over you for a bit. It helps settle your nerves and encourages you to open up your emotions more freely. Each song takes you through a different emotion, ultimately endin in complete joy. makin the world laugh out loud. Believe.

I can feel proud now, that I wear the dog tag granddad engraved with his own crippled hand. King on the one side, number1 duches street belgrave on the other. I have earnt the right to wear it, as they deserve the very same accolade. My family were very special people. They weren’t and never have been normal. Not in this world. we`re too honest. My family stood like kings of the world, on the tops of those Victorian chimneys. Looking down on the whole world. behind our work, was the success of the industrial revolution. We stood taller than any men ever born, on chimneys shrouded in danger. Cloaked in dark clouds, we took em all on. You just don’t tell us to keep off anything. when I walk out onstage, if im 3 parts pissed and half stoned, its cos I can do the job that way. When I sober up, the world will begin to see a whole new world full of hope opening up to everyone. It wont matter then if I pass into the next world. you wont have to be sad. All I want is to leave this world with my legacy already happening. I want to go out laughin for  and with my family. I will be with my family, and all those I only know little bits about. when I reach that next world, I will find out everything I need to know.  we will stand like kings again, down on the ground, but on the world stage. Given the choice, would you prefer to be stood in the centre circle of the walkers stadium, telling your part of the akiens jigsaw, or would you rather climb one of those colossal Victorian chimneys…?   The buzz that’s waitin at the top of both, is exactlky the same. My place is on the stage in that centre circle. Dad finished off all the high work, so we didn’t have to. the ako`s that know, are itchin to get up there wi me to make granddad proud if no one else. He was the man who gave us all reason to be prouds of who we are.Im the great grandson who gives granddad that pride back,in death.The story our family can bring to the world stage,pretty much brings granddad back to life.As it does all of em.The story of thes blokes ,our lot behind us,you just don’t come across em anymore.no other family will ever be like ours was an is.a family like no other on earth.The akiens.not aliens

my favourite story, of all the thousands ive wrote, is the one about the king snake.Lauren wasn’t a bit afraid,as she looked him in the eye stroking his head.After the crocodiles eyelid goin up like it did, that shows me she is every bit an akiens. now 11 years old and so beautiful. I wish I could be with her and the twins all the time.I miss em all so much.The hardest part has been not seein them.It was a sacrifice I had to make in order to write this.the solitude an isolation,the loneliness,has all been for them.As ive had to keep this a secret from them until it was ready,ive also had to keep my health a secret.for all I know,I could be dying.With gods help il get better.god will help me,if everyone in the world wants him to.the key that took me back 2000years,cannabis,is iron ically th key to my passin.I have pains in my throat & several of my teeth have been gradually working loose these last few months.My gums have been recedi ng. Thereye going to fall out, causing me a shedload of pain.That’s why I need help now.when our dad was told he was dyin of terminal bone cancer,he laugh ed his way through it, to make it easier for us.Thats what I have to do.I can do that,with those dear to me with me.I can laugh my way up walkin like jack the lad,while I still can,knowin dads waitin.All of em are.When we all realise that, we have a joy inside never felt before.The sadness my family will feel at my loss,it wil be too sad to bear,if I hadn’t written these books. I did my job for the family.I proved myself an akiens.if I aint meant to stay long,ce la ve. I lived a wicked life. my family and friends should remember me truthfully. Making it funny in my absence. Dad played the greatest mind game ever. He made it as impossible as he could, for me to discover I was jesus. He made it impossible for me to figure out the future of worship is football.English.And the children. Everything we have is invested in them.Our future.we need em all to be happy  

ive sat here in my room typing all thses stories out for everyone for the last god knows how long.  How neo sits at his pc night after night, searchin for something he doesn’t know anything about.I sit at my pc knowin every thing.im ready to walk into the world again,tellin the truth about who i am.i want to be myself again.i sit lookin up at the pictures of my kids,an i feel so sad im not able to be with them.them idiots the fathers for justice, was a good idea gone over the top.climbin all sorts of things.Dad climbed all that stuff.im the idiot that had to climb it all down on the ground. Re writin the matrix.Roughly translated into the workin mans idea of heaven, im rewritin the offside rule.No one loves a smartarse do they. Well this one you will. If you gimme a chance.political correctness is about to get an overhaul. it took me 32 years to realise. it was all starin me in the face all along. i saw jesus every mornin in the mirror as i got ready for work. the hair dryer dad bought me,that was a pisstake as well. he always said footballers were puffs, who ran round a field chasin a ball like dogs. he never saw beckham at his best, or what he went thru.did he?? my guess is,he sees thru his eyes n`all. this is what my father wanted me to do for justice. we only ever called him father when we were takin the piss out of him. like my kids did with me.he loved it. he loved all that kind of piss takes. We`d joke that he invented the wheel and fire, because he was gettin on a bit. He laughed at all of it. we were how he wanted us to turn out. all of us with a fierce sense of loyalty, sense of humour,and a sense of decency. he did a very very good job with us all.shame he got it so wrong with mam.all my life ive always wanted to give mam a few years of happiness in her tragic tortured life. i can make that happen. what my mams gone thru,to me has been far worse than anything ive gone thru.i want to change every thing. mam doesn’t know who her son is either. all my family have to find out with the rest of the world. as god would have it.i must stand alone and prove my worth. those that recognise my worth,will be there standin shoulder to shoulder with me.because theyll know it is the right thing to do. the kids will carry a sadness they werent meant to carry if i go out a secret.their sadness will be echoed out onto the world stage like mine is. it is imperitive they arent sad that im gone. i will have no choice but to punish in gods place, because it is both justified, and why my dad called me evil. i take that evil with me, with the power to unleash it from the next life. let me show the world how i will absorb it all before i go.that is a very important part of what i have to do. make sure my kids know who theyre goin to be when they pass away. this world can prepare them for it thru these writings i leave behind me. Mine need me every bit as much as I need them.  

if I should shuffle off this mortal coil,tell george evil is waitin.Ill be in what ever mood he puts me in. the Armageddon I take us out of, aint jackshit to the Armageddon that comes if I do go off before my work begins. We have everything we need to build the heavens.All it takes is billions of volunteers Dad to me, is God to you all. that’s my true inheritance when I leave here. lets all hope and pray I go off happy. Dad took his name with him, in the manner in which he went off in.laughin out loud all the way up. LOL. Do i take mine with me. they called me evil. Tuh, what a joke that is. get me on the stage an lets see whos who. 

Dad,  ( he reads it thru your eyes just like your lost loved ones do.)

You knew who I was all the time you cunning old git, And you never told me. you just gave me lots and lots of clues. Calling me evil, you did that to make it harder for me. almost impossible.As god will find the way, so will his son.your climbs dad was going up until the business died, then it was on the ground preparing me. like you dad,ive done it all wi no help from the vicars whatsoever. You left me with both the worst sadness, and only half the biggest mental jigsaw puzzle possible.When I used to nick a few pieces of your jigsaw so I could get to finish it,this is how you’ve got me back.as I let go of your hand that morning dad,just after you passed in to your next life,i only let go of your hand,never the dream you gave me. or the promise I made you that year.That Id finish my job for the family, on my own. Writing.You told me all my life,you only ever wanted us kids to be happy. You instilled in us a loyalty to each other,so that we`d never fall out as your generation have.You told me i was the one to keep our family strong,and Id be the one who keeps them all together.you din’t tell me I was also the one who brings ALL our family together.all the ako`s all over the world. the world of joy you gave us as kids, when the world hears those stories,theyre goin to laugh out loud aint they dad.when u got me sayin as a kid “hello, my name is , evil akiens”, you were planting a seed right back then.you knew one day it would come back to me.weather you knew you`d be able to remind me in my dreams,I may never know. I may find out very soon.the secrets you took with you,ive pretty much figured em all out now. weather anyone else in the family knows what I know,I hope to find out very soon.I have shedloads of secrets to share with em.Their stories will reveal more secrets to me. you hear through my ears and see through my eyes. like everyones lost loved ones.you read the times I wrote in my diary,as I wrote them.of the morning you died. 8.52 - 9.03.Those times echoed out onto the world stage 5yrs &1 week later to the second.On your 1<sup>st</sup> born sons birthday.You did that to show me how to stop it ever happening again. all I have to do is tell the world our story, and those things will never happen again.you took your name up with you in the manner in which you met your fate. Laughing out loud all the way through it to make it easier for us. Youre up there makin up em all laugh, I have to mirror that world down here. I can. I am the person you always knew I would be, the one to change everything. You played your part perfectly, just like all the rest. Just like I have. If only them 2 vicars had a tenth of the selfbelief one of our lot has, we`d have all been in heaven by now. your loved ones see how you suffer through your eyes. dad told my sis in one of her dreams. He told me in one of mine, he could come back if we all really wanted him to. everyone has to know about you first pops. 

I aint sad anymore Dad, just very proud of who u are, an who I am. ako`s

All the akos worked with their dads in life. We managed to carry on after.  

my dad told me i could do anything i set my sights on. in a fight i was way too fast for anyone. mentally i could never be broken. not completely. he taught me to think. he prepared me. the self belief he instilled in me, i can achieve anything at all. for my kids, i can achieve anything. 

that freekicks a piece of pi** !!!

 after everything ive put my family thru, how do you think it makes me feel to tell them im dying.  my kids are my priority. my reason. they give me the strength. i remember takin lauren to twycross zoo with our mark once. the information building had all kinds of creatures on display. spiders, all sorts. one bloke was holding a snake. a king snake. i couldnt believe my luck. the closest id ever come to a snake, was when andy law over the back got hold of a grass snake somehow. i was only a kid then. knee high to a grass hopper as wheeler used to say. i was level with the fence i was that young. i was gutted they wouldnt let me hold it. from where i could see, i managed to give it a dirty look. to see if i could stare it out. no one noticed because of mams hysterics. it looked away before i did. granddad went out an caught snakes by hand. poisonous ones. not a mad ead, he had what i have. what donna asked me about at his funeral. when i said yes i had it, why didnt she ask what it was fer fcuks sake. he had a fearless curiosity, that drove him on to great things. a determination that would never turn him away from what he knew he had to do. like my dad did. dad always told me, that being a man wasnt about pullin birds, fighting, getting pissed etc, it was all about accepting things as they are, and doing what you have to do. selflessly. from great granddad down to me, through the generations ive always thought we were getting less savage. i got it the wrong way round. we were getting more ferocious. more savage. they called me evil and filled me with self belief. inherent ability. with a fearless curiosity that got me over fences as a young, youngun. guard dog or no guard dog. ask bagnall. he was the lad who went over with me a few of those times. if he can remember. if he cant, get him stoned. it`ll all come flooding back to him once he gets started. hes a regular in dads old haunt in belgrave. the bulls head. dad and granddad would be in there after work. arguin the toss with god, at the closest table we could get to. if only donna wouldve asked. granddads wake couldve bin the beginning of the party yet to start. ce la vie. i have been likened to ronnie corbett for goin off onto different stories.  back to twycross. i had a camera with us as usual. a lot of the photos from those years, the coppers still have. they took loads of stuff when they raided mams house. they aint bought none of it back. its all stuff i need to make sense of some of the stuff i did. when i see it all, i`ll know its purpose instantly. the axe with bush admin wrote across the head, id say i did that to let the americans know gange has to be legalised. one photo the coppers took was of me and the twins at twycross. one of my favourites. it would be on this site if i had it. the happiest times of my life. the twins werent with us on this twycross visit. grandma and granddad used to take us there as kids to see "uncle joe". to us three lads, it was like goin into an actual jungle. i couldnt wait to see the crocodiles. ive always had a thing about crocidles. i dunno why. 200 million years of getting things exactly right, has to brespected. reverred. maybe thats why lauren is so mad about the pyramids, like i am. i expected a muddy pit full of 30 foot monsters, writhin about attacking things. i hoped it would be like that. when i saw the croc at twycross, i was a bit dissappointed.  it was only about 10 foot at most. AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE !!  it must have showed on my face. then i spotted something that caught my eye. loads and loads of shiny little shiny things you can swop for sweet round the shop. that crocodile wouldnt catch me, if them indian shopkeepers couldnt the day i whipped in an out age 4. a blonde flash, like lightenin i was in an out, with loads of bazookaa bubbly. shame mam kopped me haulin the stash home. and makin me take it all back.  if i jumped over the railing, grandma would probbly tell me off, so i didnt bother. granddad wouldve told me off for stealing. all his life, the one crime he never committed, was stealing. to lose your fingers, your hand like he did, he had every incentive not to. his signature was a very proud one. like my dads was. like mine is to me. with 2 full hands ive no excuse. to have a king snake Rapped around my hands to me was an opportunity not to be missed. i asked the bloke if i could hold him. he looked a bit surprised and said yes if i was sure. i got our skin to take a photo. it coiled itself around my right hand tighter than i imagined. i could feel its strength. in seconds it was rapped pretty tight. i lifted him up to see his face. an inch from my eyes maybe. after a few seconds he looked away. i lowered him down for lauren to look at. i think he knew not to fcuk. other wise id have seen some action down the reptile house. an id have had my distraction to nick some of that crocs dosh. lauren wasnt afraid one little bit. she knew nothing would ever hurt her with me there. she even stroked him. if you were to ask her the colours, she`d be able to tell you. she`s typically akiens, because she has an amazing memory. just like her dad. it pissed me off the photies dint turn out. maybe we could have em taken again. when lauren bent down to look at the croc through the glass, its inner eyelid came up. lauren sounded like my mam when she said "eere , dad, its got a funny eye" i know how that croc felt. stu macdonalds mam used to say that about me. my lazy left eye closes in the sunlight. it opens up ok in the dark. the kids uncle chris in Anstey is summat of a photographer. maybe he could take em. he used to work down at filbert street as a st johns ambulance man. granddad was one of them too. as a boy scout he shook hands with the king of england. the photo of that meeting is in the complete first copy. andrew melbourne is a bit of a bodger from what ive heard. otherwise id ask him to take em. the archeologist photographer of the family, to me would suggest hes goin to be pretty good at diggin up old photos. can he dig me one up of Jesse...? aunt jackie told me that andy jumped ship, just before the falklands. id say in her eyes, hes not proved himself an ako. he told me he used to climb chimneys with granddad. maybe he did. but where was my da when he climbed. he wouldnt let granddad climb without him. maybe aunt trish will know the truth. if you think soap was confusin, you aint seen nothin yet. i always felt cheated i never had the chance to prove myself to my dad by climbing with him. this is how i prove myself. i prove myself to myself. like dad always told me, thats all i ever have to do. the rest of granddads grandkids begin their climb, because theyll be sellin themselves short. if they dont walk out onto the world stage with me. in honour of all our family. i know the buzz thats comin off that high already. ive been feelin it for the last 3 years. ill go first, im used to that. ask shearer. how many birds did he ever chat up before me. i could count em on granddads right hand. 

not mine. 

Dad With Us, His Three Lions

Evil Akiens, Scarback akiens, & Scarface akiens

me with dads right arm Rapped round me. the saddest day of my life came the day i held that hand and said goodbye. the worst hit i could ever have 

Me December 2004  Waitin

Dad always marvelled at how much patience i had growin up. id sit for hours until i had something figured out. something beat. my patience wont run out. but if i should slope off ignored an unheard, it isnt my patience thats run out. is it. the worst way god can punish this world for not listening a second time, is by taking back his most treasured gift to you all. thats what i am. only then will you fully realise, you just never knew what you had, until it was gone.  if im jesus, im jesus with form. the reason for bareing all like this, is because i know i have to. it sets the example for others to follow. Delboy aint got JackShi* on this JackShi*t  above right, the white dredds i wanted looked pretty good i have to say

they called these dogs devil dogs. bred purely for killing rats, and each other. the absolute worst dog on the planet. dont talk to me about pit bulls. them yanks believe all their own hype. these are the original. you cannot beat originals. he has it all, in very much the same way great granddad did. freakishly fast for his size. if this dog was evil, a pure killer, like aunt Moes pete was durin the war, theres no pitbull or any other dog alive, that would survive a minute with This Sid. just thank god he aint evil. only the son of god, can walk with the devil dog tamed. i tamed him with a football. he tamed me with it as well. hes all beckham needs to win the world cup. once sids involved in the england teams trainin program, that world cups in the bag. his dream will come true, when my dream comes true.  

 Sids got 2 red ears, or they could be horns.  LOL  

the popular saying, that a person looks like their dog, well it has been said a few times by a few people, that i look like Sid. i cant see it meself. id say i look more like beckham. i dont look note like Sid when im playin football.  hes the 1 1/2 foot wall that doesnt back off. i look like beckham when i manage to whip one past him. ( i look nothin like roberto carlos put it that way ) theres no denyin that. all those other lookalikes, they make me look bad. id like to see them try to REALLY look like beckham. anyone can stand around lookin gormless. look at sid little for fcuks sake. our sid little was very very useful in comparison. lets see all those that have made themselves a good life off his back, try to do what he does to earn what he earns. and then we can start getting all those critics to ave a go. ill show em if beckhams injured. he could be. he has another rib injury on the way.

all i want is my kids back. happy again. thats what all this is about. this is how i get em back. if it werent for those children, you wouldnt be readin this now. theyve kept me going. in my thoughts every day. they feel the same pain i do. no matter what their mum says. i know it, because theyre every bit akiens as i am, dad was, granddad, Kim, all of em. theyre the next generation akiens. the ones who spend the inheritance. i just wish id told lisa more about my past when we were together. she is the one person i should have told. how she can think either she or the kids are in any kind of danger with me, far from it. its time the kids were told the truth. theyre old enough to hear it now. they were 2 years ago. the stories you have read and have yet to read, they would have heard it 2 years ago, if only the vicars had given me their support. my kids have suffered needlessly because of their ignorance. tell me i havent got reason to make them pay for that ignorance.  if i gave em a choice, of either usin that bible of mine for a bog roll, or carryin that cross round ive got ready in the shed for that very reason. which would they choose...? if carryin a cross was good enough for jesus with all them wounds, its good enough for them 2 to carry it round barefoot. its a punishment they owe themselves and my kids. it clears their conscience. i cant see either of em wantin to desecrate the bible in that way. they desecrate worse by ignorin me, wouldnt you say. all the shit couldve ended 2 years ago but for them shittin themselves. i know what my dad would call em. spineless shithouses. i can hear him sayin it. dad was all for the workin manin the street. same as me. how come the man in the street gets hit most every budget. the little things that mean so much to us. fags and booze always goin up. this politically correct world we live in is about to get a very much needed boot up the harris.

only a coward fears the truth. an akiens proper fears nothing at all.

Now hit the refresh button. Chances are ive added a load more  

the only way you get to read the next book, is if you tell lots an lots of people about this one. Wot u waitin for fer FCuks Sake !!!

the view dads got today. ..?   apparently leicester cathederal is the smallest in england. a bit like leicester city football club not being a big cathederal. none of that matters, its quality not quantity, them blue army players will be playin out their skins after theyve read my fcukin side. if that dont inspire them, maybe the england captain joinin the side will.. and none of all this is up to me believe it or not. im just telling the world what god has shown me. he`s guided me, by showing me in the constant de ja vu i see every day. football is the only way we can unite all the faiths.

can u see a resemblance at all vicar...?   should it matter by now. with all this overwhelming proof, i think you can safely call off the search for jesus. he`s here. will a beckham freekick on top of all this make your mind up about what you believe in the bible, and what bits you shouldnt have ignored.  i dont like beards this time out. the kids never liked it.