Dec12th & Jan 13th
Finally I am updating my site... Yea! Well, so very much has happened to me but I couldn't hope to tell you everything. In fact I just don't have the energy. Here is a brief overview of my life this last month. I received a Christmas blessing, I was sick for a week straight (yeah still recovering my strength from that), I've read The lord of the rings series twice, watched both of the released movies (one in the extended version, which I got for Christmas) I got a second job as a receptionist for the urgent care office at Medical Assc, I love my second job, I have figured out somewhat the direction I want to take my life, I have renewed hope, better attitude, and more faith. I have also learned: a lesson in love, the value of friends, that I don't like being cold, how to crawl through the passenger side to get to the drivers side of my car (which also happens to be the only way I can get there, long dull story), to laugh at my self when I do silly things, and that I don't have to be perfect. I have realized the futileness of pleasing myself, paid off a big bill (this feels great) and working to pay off about ten more. I still plan on: buying a motorcycle, buying a sewing machine, and a long way down the road a laptop, going back to school and made a career choice in the process. I also have goals to learn: how to sew, braid hair, do bead work, embroider, work on cars, ride the motorcycle i'm going to buy,all about my chosen career field, photography, and how to write a book. I will (God willing) be making a huge (yet extremely scary) leap of faith in a move that I see myself making, not to mention trusting God and letting things get out of my control. On the humorous side I have: tucked my skirt into my pantyhose, flashed about five people while learning how to take blood pressure and allowing people to learn on me, adjusted my bra (unknowingly) in front of my boss, and survived today (which I will explain shortly). So in conclusion of my summary, I have learned alot and been bleessed alot. God is good.
Now for my story of the day...
Last night an early truck driver (about ten hours) backed into a space that was smaller than his rig and broke our sprinkler alarm system, setting off the alarm (beckoning the fire dept) not to mention set the out door sprinklers to gushing. Well, he takes off and doesn't tell anyone what he did. The fire department arrives and in the confusion of the alarm, sprinklers, and firemen we succeed in preventing the indoor sprinklers from turning on (which would have been catastrophic). Well, then we find out that the boiler has gone out. That means no heat (yeah I was cold while working yesterday and this morning). Plus when I arrived at work I found that our computer system had crashed and all of the work that was completed from friday until monday had been lost. It seems that when our system is down and we are all scurrying around trying to get the office up and running, thats when everyone needs files and trucks bring their deliveries (by the way the truck drive did turn himself in) and the phone, don't get me started on the phone. All of these elements make utter chaos. Yep, well eventually we got our heat back and the sprinklers fixed and the computers up (I'm still working on putting all the info that was lost back into the system) but now I'm tired and ready to go to sleep and dream sweet dreams of how different my life will be when I move away from here. Or will it? Chaos seems to follow me around like a puppy. I don't mind though. My life, in spite of its rough spots, will always be interesting!
ITs after six and I'm still at work. Why, you ask? well its all very simple. My car has a booboo. Actually the heater control valve broke and my car has emptied itself of prestone. Therefore I have no heat and yet my car over heats! Hmmm, some how that just sounds like an oxymoron but nope its true. I believe I have murphy's law working against me this month! Grrr. I am struggling with a sickness that is kicking my butt, struggling with finances (which are also kicking my butt), trying not to miss work due to my sickness so I can attempt to kick my finance's butt. See its all a vicious cycle that I'm trapped in the middle of.
Really, my life does stink right now and I find it hard to "be of good cheer." But then I'm a fighter and I will make it through this just as I have with all of my other escapades, but at what cost this time? I grow more somber and depressed as each new little problem pops up. I wonder what to with my life. If I have a future here in South Dakota or should I risk it all and just follow my dreams. I'm sick to death of being looked down upon, treated like dirt, and in return act like a massive grouch. I am not happy with my life as it is. Not content by any stretch of the word. Where is the proverbial "light" at the end of the tunnel? Am I destined to keep going, fighting tooth and nail the whole way, attempting to make something out of my self to be proud of. And the little things I do for others, do they matter? Now do I feel like doing what used to be natural for me? What is my worth? I don't have the strength to please anyone else anymore. Perhaps I have been acting like it for quite some time. So, for now, I'll just cope the best that I can and take solace in the fact that it can't stay this bad forever. Can it?