How nice it is to be back home and sleep in my own bed. I have to say that I had a blast in Colorado. There's nothing like shopping til you drop to take your mind off things. We seriously shopped from 9am Saturday morning til 10pm that night and then periodically throught the weekend. I have come to the conclusion that I love Old Navy stores. We need one really bad, but I heard that because GAP had a crappy year they canceled the Old Navy plan for Rapid City. So everyone start sending letters to the ceo of Old Navy! Anyhow, some $140 dollars later I am home and tired, but well-dressed! I really don't have too much to say except that I'm so glad everyone is back...maybe things can get back to normal. This will be a busy week for intervarsity with all the NSO events going on. Check out my IV Events page to get the lowdown. Thank you all who have kept me in your prayers lately. They have helped more than you know. I am okay, and my God is a great big God, my problems will work themselves out. In any case thank you. Bye the way I recommend creating a website and doing an online journal, its very helpful in getting stuff out. I am so much more likely to write in my online journal than my paper journal. Besides you don't get writers cramp typing. If any of you hear about a parttime job opening for evenings let me know, thanks. See ya~
Look I'm just like Marci, updating my web site late at night or should I say early in the morning. This journal entry will probably be the hardest that I will ever write and its why I'm sitting here typing instead of sleeping like a normal person who works at 7:30am would do. Warning: the rest of this entry will be emotional and as real as I will ever be on this site. But then isn't that what journaling is about? My topic is simple; What do you do when God throws you a curve ball. I made the mistake of being content with my life. Of trusting people when I should have trusted God. Also, making the mistake of taking a persons word as truth.The result? Hurt.Really bad hurt. Do you kow how much damage one comment can do to a person's heart... their very soul? I guess I found that out today. Of course its no ones fault but mine. I mentioned earlier that my trip to Montana brought me back to earth back to reality, I have to say that I was sadly mistaken. I was still up there and I found out just how far by having my little dream world popped and plummeting down to reality. Let me tell you the landing hurt. Bad. And still does and probably will for some time. I know that this will confuse just about everyone out there but for me its a balm to my shredded heart. So many times in my life I have made poor choices in whom I place my trust and trust with my heart. Yet again I've repeated that mistake; how many times does it take for me to realize this? How many more times will I do the exact same thing. I'm so upset, sad, hurt, angry, and confused that I am now sick to my stomach. That I wish that I didn't have to face anyone tomorrow or for the rest of the week for that matter. And now my bruised heart asks the deep probing questions that hurt me further making me explore my own failures as a person, my reaction to rejection. I write this with tears streaming down my face, my heart torn in two and wonder "what did I do to deserve this" and "again. why again. When will I learn." the answer is probably never. I will continue to give my heart freely and love deeply no matter the cost. That's just my way. As I see it I will walk this road many more times during this life. I can only hope that there is a reward in heaven for tears of compassion, hurt, joy, and sorrow for then I will truly be wealthy. I can question God til I'm blue in the face and yet at the same time know that I will always love Him. Always trust Him. Always follow Him. He is the one and only person or being that I can put my trust and pour my love into with out fear of hurt and rejection. Some how I will find solace in that. So the answer to the question: When God trows you a curve ball you brace yourself and do your best and He will take care of the rest.
Yea! I'm so happy. My wonderful friends in Italy have set up their own web site. Check out their link on my home page... of course if you don't know Amy or Will then it probably won't be nearly as exciting to you as it is for me. Anyway, the key to a successful website is to update it regularly, (hint, to all my friends who haven't updated their sites for weeks). Well, not much is going on althought I do feel vindicated. The argument I had last week with the parttimer has been made right for me... my boss sided with me! Yea! Okay so I shouldn't boast or gloat over this but it feels great! I was right for once. Enough of that. I'm sore. Yes very sore. I think that the fitness guru's should start recommending horseback riding as an effective ab workout. Ouch! I need to get me one of those. That's all the time I have so I'll catch you later.
I just got back from Montana a few minutes ago. Its funny, I didn't really want to go and stay the entire weekend but I'm so glad that I did. It was a perfect time to get away from all of my problems and just relax in a beautiful place. I was able to go horseback riding for a bit, trying to improve my form while trotting. Wow what a work out! Now I'm back home and ready to play some volleyball. Do you kow how nice it is to just clear your head of thoughts and confusion which blocks out all reason? This weekend was exactly what I needed to bring me back to reality. So everyone welcome me home! I have learned that cruise control is a blessing and it makes driving long distances a lot easier. Oh guess what. I got to see Devils tower for the first time that I can remember...nevermind that it was over 30 miles away. I saw the perfect outline of it. Someday I 'll go there and hike around the bottom of it. I really only remember it from the movie close encounters (I think thats the right one). You know the one where the guy makes a mashed potato sculpture of it! There's tallent for ya! I've always wanted to perfect a mashed potato devil's tower. Perhaps its all in the consistency of the mashed taters. Okay since my entry has gone completely downhill and is not very interesting I'm going to stop writing. So there...