| JOHNNY VAUGHAN'S WEDDING SPEECH |
| Johnny�s speech: Firstly, I would like to thank the bride. I turned round in the church and she was there with the light behind her. I just thought, YES! Her dress has been cloaked in the kind of secrecy normally associated with military operations. For the last week I�ve only been allowed in two rooms of the house - which is more than usual. She is the woman of my dreams. Since we got together, we have gone from a mattress on the floor in Clapham to a bed in Wandsworth. It is the greatest joy of my life that she married me. In the words of the song my way: I had my share of life�s ups and downs. Fate has been kind. The downs have been few. I guess you could say I am lucky. I guess you could say it�s all because of you. If anyone asks me to write my life story, you will be there on each line between the pain and glory. (Hugs Antonia and has tears in his eyes). I�d like to thank Antonia�s parents. I first met them when I went round for tea seven years ago. I was the video shop guy who their daughter wrote to in jail - not everyone�s idea of a great son-in-law. But I was overwhelmed by the warmth of their hospitality, especially when Mrs Davies greeted me in a swimsuit and rudder gloves while pruning the roses. I thank Mr Davis for his welcome, too � he was only wearing a thong. I�d like to thank Father Hopes who explained the logistics of how to feed the 5,000 fish and bread, as well as how aliens landing will affect the Catholic Church. Some of you have come from Australia and some have driven from North London � which is a lot more stressful journey. Thanks to best man Ed Butcher for the stag night which saw us invade another wedding by boat and wearing Hawaiian shirts. It also helped me fulfil a lifetime�s ambition to play the maracas in a salsa band. I�d like to thank my seven ushers for not getting drunk before the ceremony � which, if you know them, is quite an achievement. Especially for Giles, who took the day off work. Thank you, all. |