TITLE: ‘S’very…
chocolaty’
CHAPTER: 2
AUTHOR: AmethystxX
DISCLAIMER: I
BARELY own my cat, I think that it’s pretty far fetched that I own a bleeding
TV show lol. No one belongs to me! And that’s the
truth...I think...I dunno what lies are nowadays.
PAIRING:
Angel/Spike
SUMMARY: Written
for Higgy as her challenge is a real laugh riot :) AngelSpike fic
about everyday life between the two with Xander and
Giles coming over for a visit. Events that happen and some complete
randomness. SLASH!
NOTES: For
the lovely Higgy! Since it’s her challenge I’m doing!
:)
WOLFRAM AND
HART, ANGEL’S OFFICE:
When Giles and
Xander finally decided to take pity on Angel, they
gathered up as much clothing as they could and followed Angel to his office.
Just as they were about to enter, Giles and Xander
were stopped by a shrill squeal.
Xander closed his eyes and kept his back to the horror behind him,
hoping that it would disappear. Giles seemed to have a better idea and dashed,
with Angel, into Angel’s office.
“Oh my God! If it isn’t Xander Harris! Well
turn around and let me have a look at you!” Harmony’s bubbly voice squealed as
she hurried on ridiculously high heeled shoes. Xander
clenched his jaw and turned to face Harmony, only to find Harmony frozen in place,
mouth open and moving as a fish’s would.
“Harmony?” Xander asked timidly, watching
as her hand raised slowly, almost shaking, until it
finally rested infront of his face, finger pointing
out.
“Ewwwwww!” Harmony finally cried,
finger pointing at Xander’s eye-patch while her other
hand reached up to touch her own eye, as if wondering what it would feel like
to have an eye-patch over her own eye.
“Oh Harmony
grow up will you!” Xander yelled,
upset that everyone took notice at his eye-patch, life was so unfair. Without
waiting for a reply from Harmony, Xander scrambled
into Angel’s office, pouting petulantly.
“Watcher,
Harris. What’re you doin’ here?” Spike asked,
stepping out of the elevator in socks and boxers. Xander
turned to face Spike and walked backwards as Spike ran up towards him.
“Oh cool! I
forgot you had an eye-patch! Can I see under it?” Spike asked excitedly, his
hand reaching out to touch it. Xander smacked the had away, frustrated.
“No! Why is
everyone so obsessed with my eye-patch! It’s just a patch covering my eye
because it’s no longer there!” Xander yelled, his face flushed with anger. Spike shrugged, sitting on
Angel’s desk.
“Well it’s not
something you see on everyone else’s face. Besides, I’ve never seen an eye
socket without an eye before” Spike replied, looking through the clothes on
Angel’s desk.
“Oh for
heaven’s sake put some clothes on Spike! You look ridiculous!” Giles said,
cleaning his glasses furiously. Spike huffed, done a busted jump off the desk,
and grabbed a bunch of clothes.
“Fine! Just because your jealous of my lucious body doesn’t mean you get to take your anger out of
me” Spike muttered, pulling on a pair of snug black jeans and T-Shirt.
“Where’s Angel
anyway?” Spike asked when dressed.
“I believe he
went to check on his friend in the science lab. I think they’ve found a new
species of demon” Gile’s replied, putting on his
glasses and taking no notice of the still fuming Xander
beside him, cursing his eye-patch.
“Really? Now this I’ve gotta see!” Spike
said, running from the office. Giles sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose
only to be slammed to the ground by Spike.
“What the
bloody hell do you think your doing!” Giles shouted,
picking up his glasses and pushing Spike off of him.
Spike ran to
the weapons cabinet, grabbing a sword and ran back in front of Giles and Xander, who had now stopped cursing.
“Clown demon!” Spike said, raising his sword in a defensive
pose.
“Clown demon?” Giles asked to himself, looking through the
corridor for any signs of a demon. He found none.
“Clown?! Where?! Oh God! It’s bad enough that there’s
clowns! But clown demons? Protect me Spike!” Xander
babbled hysterically, clutching Spike’s neck only to be thrown off not more
than a second later.
“I don’t
believe I’ve ever heard of a clown demon” Gile’s
mumbled, frowning as he tried to remember anything about clown demons.
“I can’t do
this again! Last time this happened I was picking up candy bars and it lead me
to a clown! I can’t do this! The clown stole my candy bar!” Xander
rambled, running around to find somewhere to hide. He couldn’t find anywhere so
settled for trying to climb up the walls.
“There is no
clown demon. It’s that new species from the science lab but it escaped. It
looks like a clown and it sprays some sorta paint
thingy that makes you go all coo-coo” Spike replied, sniffing the air around
him and grimacing.
While Xander scrambled up the walls and Giles cleaned his glasses
Angel came running through the open doors and stood next to Spike.
“It doesn’t
seem to like vampires and is trying to eat me” Angel said, looking at Spike as
Spike looked at him. They turned back only to see a big blog
of what could be red paint and the vampires dropped to the floor.
“INCOMING!”
They yelled in unisen while dropping, turning to
watch the paint narrowly miss Giles and splatter on the window.
“Good lord!”
Giles shouted.
“If it’s after
vampires then what the hell am I doing in here!” Xander yelled, running out the door only to run back in and
dive under the desk screaming.
Everyone, without Xander, gathered
together and stood before the clown demon as it giggled insanely, holding up a
balloon animal and a balloon pump. The clown cackled and pointed to the
vampires.
“This is
vampire’s brains” he held up the balloon animal, “This is vampire’s brains when
paint hits them” He popped the balloon. Angel and Spike gulped. Giles
shuddered. Xander continued shrieking.
The clown
demon frowned at the desk and looked under it only to be kicked in the face by
a terrified Xander. The clown demon flinched and Xander made his escape only to try clawing up the walls
again. Angel, Spike and Giles sighed.
“Now you all
die” The clown demon said, pulling out a black baseball cap and placing it on
his head. He got out some tubes of ‘Paint’ and undid the caps. The clown
chuckled, patted his cap lovingly and got out a half eaten candy bar.
“Hey! That’s
mine!” Xander yelled indignantly from a beam across
the ceiling. How the hell did he get up there? Angel, Spike and Giles wondered,
shaking their heads.
“Mine now!”
The clown demon chuckled, finishing the candy bar and aiming the tubes of
‘paint’ at the three on the ground. Xander clenched
his jaw and dropped onto the unsuspecting clown demon, snatched up his cap and
running away with it.
“NO! not my cap!” The clown demon begged, watching as Xander ran towards a paper shredder. Xander
smirked as he turned it on, holding the cap above it threateningly. The clown
demon gulped.
“I’ve always
wanted to try this” Xander muttered, smiling as he
put the cap into the paper shredder, watching at it came out below it in
shreds. The clown demon screeched, charging at Xander
only to be grabbed by Angel and shoved onto the sword Spike was holding.
The clown
glared at the vampires before he squirted a whole load of ‘paint’ onto the
vampires while chuckling gleefully. He dropped to the ground, dead, half way
through his chuckling. The vampires looked at each other before they looked at
the mess on their shirts.
“Oops” They
said, trying to smear the paint off with their hands. Giles came forward to
help.
“No don’t
touch it!” Angel and Spike yelled, grabbing Gile’s
arms only to realize their mistake. They had paint on their hands. Giles glared
at them.
“Oh yuck
what’s that?” Xander said coming forward and sticking
his hands in the goop which covered Angel. They all
glared at Xander’s stupidity.
“WHOA!” Spike
suddenly yelled, pointing into the corner of the room and grabbing hold of
Angel’s arm excitedly.
“What?” Angel
asked, his words sounding a little bit slurred all of a sudden.
“There’s a wee
moose in there corner!” Spike replied, running into the corner and hovering his hand on something that only he could see. Angel
shook his head as if to say no but decided that he liked the sensation it gave
when he shook it and decided to keep shaking it. Giles held his hand out in
front of him, looking at his fingers with interest, saying wow every now and
then.
“Hey! Did you
ever wonder that if we didn’t have five fingers we’d only have four?” Giles
asked, bending his fingers and saying ‘wow’ again.
Xander stared into space for a bit before running up to Angel and
hitting him repeatedly over the head with his hand, saying ‘Hey!’ with every
slap. After a while Angel stopped shaking his head and looked at Xander. Xander looked at Angel.
Angel poked Xander in the eye-patch. Xander slapped Angel’s head again and said ‘Hey!’
They stared at
each other again. Angel went to poke Xander in the
eye-patch again but his hand was grabbed by Xander’s.
Xander slapped Angel’s head again and shouted ‘Hey!’
to everyone in the room. They all turned to him.
“Let’s play
chase! Your it Angel! Catch me!” Xander
ran across the office, hiding under the couch.
“No I’m not
going to catch you!” Angel yelled, running into the elevator and dragging Spike
with him. Noises could be heard as the doors closed.
Giles pushed
the elevator button before he ran backwards, holding his thumb and checked it
over. Xander came over and looked at Giles, confused.
“The devil
makes work for idle thumbs” Giles whispered, holding up his thumb. The elevator
dinged and Xander dragged Giles by his hair, while he
held his thumb, with him into the elevator. Noises could be heard from upstairs
as they rode up.
Xander screamed and held his hand over his eye, trying not to look at
the scene in front of him as the doors opened. Angel and Spike making out with
Angel’s hand in...places. Giles looked up from his
thumb and gasped as he saw Spike, in boxers and socks with Angel’s hand down
the front of the boxer’s touching...things. They were both kissing furiously.
“My eyes! I mean, My eye! My beautiful eye!” Xander cried,
peeking out behind the hand.
“Take that out
of there right now young man!” Gile’s voice boomed at
Angel. Angel and Spike broke apart, much to Spike’s disapointment,
as Angel looked at the floor sheepishly. Xander
grinned.
“Lets have a burping contest!” Xander
shouted, releasing a long, loud burp which had Spike giggling insanely. Spike
burped which was broke off half way by his surprise as Angel grabbed his arse.
Spike smiled before his eye’s rolled back and he dropped to the floor, followed
by Angel, Giles and Xander, all in a dead faint.
When they woke
up the next morning, they were all confused with head aches all smelling of
paint. They couldn’t remember what had happened the day before. Spike got up
from the floor and slide on the kitchen floor to the fridge, feeling very
hungry. He got out his pitcher of blood and grabbed the peanut butter on the
side. He decided to experiment.
Spike dropped
a lump of peanut butter into his blood and put the contents into a mug, to heat
it in the microwave. As it pinged, Angel, who had been watching with distaste,
watched as Spike tasted it cautiously.
“What’s it
taste like?” Angel asked coming up behind Spike.
Spike
shrugged, smacking his lips, “S very...chocolaty”
A/N: The
phrase ‘The devil makes work for idle thumbs’ is in an advert in
THE END!