Title:
Author: Inca
Feedback: And
*i'll* feed *you* with m&ms ... in spirit-
[email protected]
Rating NC17
AU Liam/William
Disclaimer: They
don't belong to me, I just like to play with them
Spoilers: AU
Summary: Risen
from the ashes, as an Angel
***
Things had been
very strange after that night. Every time Will had
ventured out at
night since, and it hadn't been many, he'd packed
holy water in his
back pocket, purchased from one of the occult
bookstores he
frequented.
He gave Liam a
few bottles of the stuff, not knowing if vampires
could get to him
or not, scared anyway. He'd also given him a cross,
which he was
happy about.
He looked at the
pink scar on Liam's neck with newfound horror and
pride. Liam was
still here after facing up against those … things.
Monsters. He
hoped it didn't act as a beacon of some type, a marking
for other
vampires. Now that he looked at it, learned, he saw the
two fang marks
clearly. It was a track; he could see the front
teeth, where they
had dug in, then the next, and then the next then
the pin prick of
the fangs. He only looked while Liam was humming.
Liam got a little
antsy at his gaze when he was focused.
It made his
stomach twist knowing Liam had had blood sucked out
through his neck
by some hell sent demon. Too weird to think about.
He hadn't been
near a graveyard since, and he didn't think he'd ever
be going back.
At least not at
night.
He'd seen Faith
again, and they'd talked. She was pretty friendly
and she was happy
to share vampire slaying stories. Somehow, hearing
about how she
killed them was a comfort. She'd killed a lot of them.
Liam was a lot
happier, knowing Will believed him. He was also happy
that there were
people whose job was to kill vampires. Still slept
under the bed
though.
Will wondered a
lot. Wondered if Harlen was still alive or if
someone had
killed him mainly. He wondered if he'd ever come back
for him, to
finish the job. It scared him. As much as the fang marks
did.
All the bluff and
bluster about reopening trials, all the hoops you
had to jump
through seemed so silly and pointless now that he knew
people were being
killed by vampires.
Vampires, for god
sake.
He just wanted
Liam out. Faith had said
ground for vamps,
which was why she was here. Highest population of
vampires apart
from
Will found that a
little strange, seeing as
its sun, but
Faith had a theory that vampires were drawn to high
concentrations of
evil. And
vampires wanted
to be near it.
Also something
about a hellmouth but Will didn't even want to think
about that.
He just wanted
Liam out. He would get him out off this hellhole he
wasn't even
supposed to be in, and they would move as far away from
five til ten or
something. Maybe they could migrate, holiday in
before it went
into winter.
Vampires were
fucking walking the streets at bloody night.
The thought often
arose in his mind at obscure times, brushing his
teeth, walking
through the hallways of the ward. It would just
bubble up, and
he'd scrabble for some sort of certainty before
regaining his
composure and moving on.
He had to keep
moving. Had to keep his mind busy. He couldn't let
himself wonder
about vampires.
Vampires for
bloody Christ's sake.
"Will?"
Will looked up.
It was Harris, standing up in the staff meeting next
to Wilthos.
"Sorry,"
He murmured, blinking, "…let my thoughts run away with me."
"Yes, well
we were just organising the craft week."
"Right."
He said flatly, disinterestedly, "How's that going."
"You good to
supervise one of the sections for a week?"
He just nodded.
He wanted to yell that there were vampires and they
should all be
training people to fight them instead of organising a
fucking craft
week. Everything was so stupid and trivial. He kept
his mouth shut
though.
He smiled as he
realised; Liam had gone through exactly what he was
going through
now. In his trial he'd screeched and yelled about
vampires and
food, and they all thought he was insane. Well, he was.
But not about
that. He just didn't have enough self-control to stop
warning people.
People would
believe what they wanted.
Will tried to
look like he was paying attention. He felt hot and his
throat was burning.
He must be coming down with something.
He'd organised a
transfer for Steve. His teeth sat on edge and
itched while he
did it, but he paid him handsomely for silence. He
hoped that was
the last they'd hear of him. He couldn't deal with
that bullocks
right now. Liam hadn't mentioned him again, so he
figured he'd
thoroughly scared him. Good. He had been ready to send
him to the
hospital bed next to Mikael. Let them never wake up again
together.
Liam's birthday
was coming up. He was already thinking about what to
get him. He was
pretty good for art supplies now. He'd like to give
him a `get out of
jail free' card. He sighed and waited impatiently
for the meeting
to come to a close.
It was taking
forever.
He leant back in
his chair and rested a booted foot on the coffee
table.
**~~**
Angel couldn't be
bothered painting something interesting. But he
wanted to use the
paintbrushes, so he compromised. He painted a blue
border around the
canvas, and then a red one inside that, then chose
another brush,
another border and repeated until the canvas was half
finished. It was
actually quite colourful. He was pleased with the
way it was
turning out.
He had thought to
paint Will in his bed the night he'd found out
about the
vampires, but had decided that might look a little
suspicious if
anyone saw it. He wanted to get out of here so he
could paint and
sketch Will and no one could see it.
Will had been so
… flat since that night. Angel understood. It was
the vampires. He
was still taking it all in. But he was handling it
rather well. But
then again, he was Will.
He washed off the
brush he was using in the small trough sink and
turned back.
Will seemed lost
in thought a lot of the time, and wanted to be
touched a lot,
which Angel was pleased to help out with. He tried to
sneak looks at
his bite mark when he thought Angel didn't notice,
which made him
uneasy, even though he understood why he was so
fascinated by it.
He wondered what Will thought it was before. It
looked like a bi…
People would
believe what they wanted.
Pausing for a
moment, new brush against his lip, he decided he
needed more green
in the picture. He slipped out of the room, past
Cole who was
watching him between pages of his book and opened the
storeroom across
the corridor. Cole was actually a nurse, but he did
guards duties
sometimes when there were lots of things on.
He hunted around
in the mustiness for a while until he found a pot
of `jungle'
green.
Jungle was a
strange word.
He stared at it,
written in green block letters across the pot.
Jungle. He
couldn't take his eyes away. Jungle green. Jungle. He
could hear the
noises of it, feel the sticky humidity.
"Angel?"
Cole said, coming to the door. "You alright, you've been
here for twenty
minutes?"
Angel snapped out
of it and turned blearily to the door, seeing Cole
and the friendly
smile on his face.
"I just
…" He stared down at the pot again. Jungle. He'd never seen
a jungle. Why was
he so fascinated by it?
"Are you
alright?" Cole was peering at him intently now, watching
his eyes.
He was back in
the art room. When did…
"You've been
doing that more often, just recently." Cole noted,
pulling out his
penlight. "Here watch the light."
He looked down at
the light.
"Okay, now
try again, but follow the light with your eyes."
Didn't he? He
focused hard, but the jungle kept popping up behind
his eyelids and
distracting him.
"Do you know
you can't follow the light?" Cole asked, flicking it
off and putting
it back in his pocket.
"Let me try
again." He said, feeling like he'd failed something
simple.
"We just
tried five times."
"Two
times." He corrected.
Cole smiled.
"Are you distracted?"
"Jungle."
He hadn't meant to say it. He went to put the jar down,
thinking the word
was leaking in through his hand but it was already
on the table.
"Oh."
He breathed
heavily. He was so confused. "It feels like something's
stealing my time.
And I blink and things aren't where I left them,
or I'm in a
different room."
Cole nodded.
"Who's your therapist? Dr Telleck?"
"Yes.
Will." He said, wanting to say his name.
"Have you
told him?"
"It's been
worse recently." He mumbled. "I was hoping it would go
away."
"Tell Dr
Telleck."
"Okay."
That was probably a good idea. But Will would know something
was wrong, and
want to know what it was, and he couldn't tell him
about Steve.
He sighed, He
should've told him at the
"start."
Now, it would seem like he had a relationship with Steve.
It would look
"bad."
"Mmmmm."
Cole said. "You want to finish up your painting? It's
almost
lunch."
"Oh."
He looked at Cole's watch. "Yes."
He went to pick
up the paint so he could finish but it was already
in his hand. He
squeaked and looked up at Cole to see if he had
noticed.
He looked
abashed. "Sorry, I gave that to you…"
Angel shook his
head. He felt stupid when this happened too much. He
couldn't help
feeling that way. He always lost time, but it was
difficult now. It
hadn't been difficult for a while. His brain was
just shutting
down and it worried him. He fell behind when the time
skipped, but what
if he fell and never caught up again?
He wanted Will.
He started
painting leaves over the picture, but he smiled at them.
If you looked
hard enough, you could see Will's lips created by the
highlights in
them.
**~~**
Will was heading
to his car, considering a salad for lunch. He
didn't usually
eat them, but his stomach was rolling like he had an
ocean inside him.
"Dr
Telleck?"
He looked over his
shoulder, a nurse was jogging towards him. He
couldn't remember
his name.
"Hey."
He said.
"Hey, sorry
to barge in, but I just wanted to bring to your
attention that
Liam seems to be having a bit of trouble staying
focused."
His attention was grabbed as soon as the name was
breathed.
"More than
usual?"
"Yes."
Will frowned. He
hadn't really noticed that, but he was having his
own troubles.
"I've been a
nurse here for a while, and he seems to have backslid.
He was really
good for a while there."
For a while
there. Then he had to stay in the sick ward plugged up
to an IV because
he couldn't eat he was so out of it. Then Mikael
reared up from
hell, and now Will had scared him with all the
vampire talk.
"Yeah, I know." He murmured.
"He couldn't
even follow a simple pen light test. They only go for
ten
seconds."
Will nodded. He
didn't know what to say. He stared at the floor.
Poor Liam.
"I'm didn't
mean to say it was your fault…" Cole said softly.
He must've looked
upset. "No, no, I was just, thinking." He
paused.
"I'll have to put him on a higher dose."
For some reason
this seemed like a betrayal. Like he was conniving
and underhanded.
He was so confused, he was floundering, this was
all too much, and
he was sick to begin with.
"That's
probably best." He said, turning and jogging back to where
he came from.
He had tried to
keep Liam on the lowest possible medication. He had
taken him off
some of the treatments Jana had him on, and he was
scraping by on
the bare minimum. Probably for Will's benefit more
than his own. In
his head, it made their whole relationship seem
less wrong.
He was sleeping
under the bed again.
Will sighed. He
felt defeated. He slipped out of the corridor and
into his car.
**~~**
"So you've
been having trouble staying focused?"
He nodded. Will
looked sad at this. He was sad either way, really.
Angel felt Steve
festering inside him. All the times they had…
"Any
particular reason?"
Steve. The desk
digging into his shoulder blades, the floor into his
knees. Lately,
Steve had been playing tapes of him and Will, all the
times in the art
room, on the monitors outside the desk room, and
watched them as
he thrust into him. Angel always closed his eyes. He
didn't want to
see them. Not with Steve inside him.
"You've been
sleeping under the bed again." Will said. He looked
tired, worn out.
The stars were
moving across the wall behind Will's head, little
disturbances in
the wallpaper. Maybe watching him. The stars werent
as helpful since
Steve came into his painting.
"Baby,
you've been sleeping under the bed again?"
He nodded.
"Any
particular reason?"
"Its
scary." He said, thinking about Steve watching him. Thinking
about that made
him think about Har…
"Why wasn't
it scary before?"
He shrugged. He
looked for the stars but they were gone.
Will looked down
at his notes and scribbled something in. "Okay." He
murmured.
"Okay?"
"Pet, I'm
going to put you on a trial of something okay? Might …
lighten your mood
a little."
"My
mood?"
"You've been
a bit quiet and withdrawn lately." Will said, leaning
back in his chair
and watching him.
"So have
you." He pointed out.
Will opened his
mouth like he was going to say something, but just
blinked a few
times and then closed it. He watched him.
"Well it's
true." Angel mumbled. "Ever since that night. Maybe a bit
before."
"I saw
vampires Pet, I'm a little distressed."
Angel shrugged
again. He didn't want to talk about this. He didn't
want to go on
more medication either. Every time that happened he
felt a little
more muzzy and a step left of himself. Everything
became harder,
not easier.
"Well it's
true." Will said indignantly.
"I told you
vampires exist, you didn't believe me." Angel said, not
really knowing
where it came from, knowing he was just antagonising
but feeling fed
up with everything.
"It's a bit
hard to believe."
"Yes."
He said shortly. He leant back in his chair and looked up at
the roof,
crossing his arms.
There was a
pause. "Are you upset with me?" Will asked.
With Will? No. He
was upset though. The stars were very upset. They
were upset that
he had to keep a huge secret from someone he loved,
and that he had
to fuck someone he hated. Upset that he was still in
here when someone
else knew for sure he didn't do it. Was upset that
Will had been so
distant, and tired lately.
"Angel?"
He asked softly.
"Sorry?"
"I asked if
you were upset with me."
"I don't
want any more medication. I hate it." He said to the
ceiling.
"You don't
usually hate things."
"I hate
medication." The stars agreed angrily, like a mob. A riot.
He nodded to them
as the watched, making their presence known on the
ceiling, moving
and dancing, holding out their ribbons with anger.
"Even the
ones that help you?"
"They don't
make me feel like me."
"It's just a
trial, sweets, if you hate it we'll take you off them."
Angel didn't say
anything. He had to see Steve this afternoon. He
managed to hold
back the tears. He hoped he wouldn't try to make
Angel watch the
videos with Will on them.
"I love you
Pet." Will said after a moment.
The sincerity in
his voice made some tears slip down his cheeks. He
heard Will get up
and saw him sit down next to him, close and
holding him and
he started sobbing.
"Baby, what
the bloody hell is wrong?" He murmured into his ear,
pulling him
closer.
He couldn't
speak, he just bawled and let Will cling onto him,
trying to make
him better. Will pulled him onto his lap like a big
kitten, cradling
him into his neck as he patted his hair down,
rubbed up and
down his back.
"Shhh, it's
okay baby. Nothings gonna hurt you."
His sobs turned
to sniffles and he felt better, safe, in Will's
arms, in his
office, where no one could get them.
"So good for
Daddy." Will murmured in his low rough accented voice,
and the words
lifted his spirits a little.
"Daddy."
He murmured into his neck.
"Yes, Daddy.
Daddy looks after you."
"Take care
of me?"
"Always
Angel-cat."
He purred. He
loved it when Will talked like this.
"I love it
when you purr. Makes me feel all warm inside."
Angel was giddy.
He purred again, louder and felt Will's arms
squeeze around
him so tightly he almost couldn't breathe. It twinged
his sore back,
his kidneys yelped but he didn't care. This was what
he wanted.
"Affectionate."
"I am."
Will agreed and kissed over the side of his face. He giggled
into the smooth
pale neck. He wished it was always like this.
His cock was
waking up. He smiled. He wanted to play, even though
his backside was
still sore from Steve the day before. "Are we going
to play?"
"Not today
sweets, we only have three minutes left."
"That's
okay." He said eagerly.
Will laughed, and
it sounded good. He hadn't laughed since their
anniversary.
"I happen to know you have greater expectations from
me, than anything
I could do in three minutes."
Will's finger
scrabbled across the back of his neck for a moment and
then pulled him
back by his shoulders. He looked at his neck
surprised, dark
eyebrows raised.
"You're not
wearing your collar." He said, puzzled.
Angel's hand flew
to his bare neck. "Oh!"
Where was it? He
mustn't have been concentrating. He felt bad now,
where had he put
it? He took it off to shower… maybe he lost time.
He hoped he
hadn't…
"Lost
it."
"When?"
"Huh?"
"When did
you lose it?" Will asked, still looking at his neck.
"I don't
know." He felt around his chest and neck again. "Maybe the
shower…"
"I'll have a
look later if you like?"
Angel smiled.
"Thankyou." He felt like he'd lost his first
paintbrush or his
wedding ring. He gasped and looked at his finger.
"Oh
no!"
"What?"
Will asked alarmed.
"I've lost
my wedding ring! Darla's gonna kill me!" She always told
him not to take
it off when he painted.
Will stared at
him for a moment, with wide eyes and an _expression
that was
indescribable. "Pet…" He said slowly, "You've never worn
your wedding
ring…"
Time slowed down
like molasses. He watched Will's dark eyelashes
sweep down over
his eyes, close, no sound, and then the blue -
vibrant and
bright was revealed again.
Time sped back
up.
He frowned down
at his hand, and turned it over, palm up. "but…"
Will looked
embarrassed for some reason.
He felt wrong.
Backwards. "Where did it go?" he whispered.
"I don't
know. But for the year and a bit we've known each other …
you've never worn
it."
"I should
find it."
"Yeah."
Will agreed quickly, "You should."
The air seemed
awkward and he didn't know why.
**
He had no reason
to be in the patient bathroom. He had no idea what
he would say if
someone found him. He flinched at every noise as he
quickly scoured
the floors.
He tutted.
He didn't know
how he felt about Angel's shock over his missing
wedding ring.
Definitely feeling a little second best, definitely a
little like he
was a mistress, but other things were mixed up inside
too.
He made his way
up to the back showers, the ones with small walls.
And there it was.
He blinked in amazement. He hadn't expected it to
be here.
A limp scrap of
leather, with two thin hanging strands of black,
resting over the
seat facing the shower.
He grabbed it and
slipped out, feeling his body pulse pleasantly,
laughing at
himself for getting aroused just by holding his lovers
collar.
**~~**
Angel didn't like
the new meds. Everything seemed duller, nothing
really affected
him. He was just, drifting. The stars slept in
catnaps most of
the day. One or two sang, but they really couldn't
be bothered and
soon gave up.
He was following
Steve down the hall to his office. He was getting
used to it, even
though he felt sick sometimes.
Steve opened the
door and ushered him through it quickly, closing it
behind him. Angel
stopped short, and Steve bumped into him.
There was a man
in the room.
He was tall and
angular. He looked like a snake, or a lizard. He was
wearing clothes
that looked expensive and soft.
"Do I
deliver, or do I deliver?" Steve asked nervously from behind
him.
The man looked
him up and down, pursing his lips, appraising him
like people
looking at paintings at an auction.
"Yes. He's
nice isn't he?" He grinned.
"Yup, tight
too."
"Thankyou,
Mr Sonnet," He said distastefully, holding his hand up
and crumpling his
face like he'd smelled something bad. "Now, busy
yourself."
He had a strange light lilt to his words. The remnants of
an accent Angel
didn't know.
"But…"
Steve faltered.
The man walked
close to Angel and he stepped back, feeling Steve
behind him. He
wrapped long cold fingers around his chin and angled
his head up.
"You… are a treasure." He hissed with a smile on his
face.
Angel was scared.
He pushed his
hair back, combing his fingers through it, chilling
Angel's scalp.
"Wonderful.
I'm sorry my Angel, I'd like to have you somewhere more
… befitting … a
man of your calibre, but I'm afraid for now, here
will have to
do." His eyes flicked from Angel's face, froze and
glared at Steve
behind him.
"Mr Sonnet.
Leave."
The door opened
and closed and all Angel was left with was the man
and a chill.
"My name is
Enoch."
The name sounded
familiar. The man smiled. "It's an old name.
Nowadays, people
seem to call me En."
Angel nodded.
"You're
scared."
Angel nodded.
"Alright. I
won't hurt you. I saw your picture in a few old papers.
Heard about you
through someone's bragging. I had to meet you. Steve
is in debt to me.
He's a fool of a man."
Angel nodded. En
laughed. "You're so child like." He said,
affectionately,
watching him closely for a moment. "Alright, take
off this
thing." He said flicking at his uniform.
Does that mean he
was going to have to lay down for this man as
well? He was a
little too scared of him to like that idea. At least
he wasn't being
hit.
"Does Will
know?" He said, falling back on the old delay.
En frowned.
"Who's Will?"
"Will."
He said, repeating the name like he hadn't heard properly.
"Um,
yes."
Angel slipped out
of the clothes and En positively purred. Angel was
surprised; it
sounded like it had rumbled deep in his chest, not in
his throat. Maybe
he was a cat. He'd like that. En turned and pulled
up a huge bag. He
pulled out a white blanket and spread it on the
floor.
"Lie down
pretty."
Angel did. He
felt like he was on feathers. En looked around at the
room in distaste
before kneeling down and tickling cold fingers over
his body, his
chest, his belly, his thighs, sucking the heat from
him as he played.
He started to
shiver.
"Oh Angel, I
am sorry. Cold hands you know. Roll your head to the
side, I want to
see this scar."
Angel hesitated
and En reached down and rolled his head for him. He
pushed the hair
back and looked at the scar.
"Vampires
can be nasty."
Angel tensed.
"Who did
this? What was his name?"
He closed his
eyes.
"Angel."
He said, his voice tinging on a growl.
"Harlen."
He answered quickly.
"Good boy.
Sometimes you meet people, and you should always do what
they say."
Angel was very
scared. He wondered what he would be doing if he
wasn't on the
medication. Would he run? Would he cry?
"Harlen
Harlen Harlen." En mused, running his hands down Angel's
thighs. "He
was always strange."
Angel started
panting. He had never been so sure he was going to pee.
"Although I
do agree with what you've become. You're perfect. Stop
panting, I'm not
going to hurt you, I promise, don't be a goose.
You're lovely. I treat
lovely things well."
En spread his
legs. He watched him unbuckle his pants and his long
thin penis rose
up from his body. En reached over and pulled out a
bottle. He
squeezed some slick onto his fingers and rubbed them
together quickly.
Angel closed his eyes and waiting for the freezing
fingers against
his hole. Instead warm tips tickled around his
entrance. One
thin digit slipped inside and the other followed too
soon after,
creating a burn that made him hiss.
"You're
lovely." En repeated in a whisper. "You're just going to let
me do what I want
aren't you?"
Angel nodded. He
was scared of him, and he'd promised not to hurt
him. He thought
that the promise might not hold if he disobeyed.
En closed his
eyes and slid his fingers out of Angel's hole to wrap
around his own
cock. "Alright. Legs up."
Angel lifted his
legs and closed his eyes again, tightly, as the
slick heated
length slid into his body.
"Oh… you're
so hot…" En was growling. He started thrusting in and
out quickly.
Angel realised he
should be upset that someone was fucking him but
he wasn't. He
just … drifted. The blanket was comfortable.
En seemed to
favour quick strokes, his sharp hipbones banging
against the base
of Angel's backside, lifting his ankles high so he
was in the right
position to be slid into.
Soon enough, he
felt En shudder into him, as he held his legs
straight up,
rolling him back onto his neck. A chill ran along
inside as the
cock inside pulsated. En's hands released his ankles
and he lowered
his feet around the man's thin sides, placing them
flat on the
cover. He pumped a few more times and then threw his
head back smiling
widely as Angel watched him.
"You are
perfect. I hope you never change." En said, calmly, as
though he hadn't
just had sex, not tired. He crouched over him,
hands beside
Angel's shoulders, looking down into his
face.
"Gorgeous. I can see why he was so obsessed with you."
Angel looked down
at the intricate tattoo he could see across En's
chest under the
shirt. The shirt was falling forward and he could
see down the
neck. The tattoo seemed to be of ribbons, and Latin.
And a woman's
face.
"Angel?"
`Sorry?" He
murmured.
"I said is
Steve mean to you?" he smiled down like an adoring
parent, ignoring
the fact his penis was still balls deep inside him.
Angel nodded and
he started patting back his hair.
"I couldn't
imagine anyone being mean to you." He purred. He
definitely
purred, a rumble, and Angel looked at his chest
again. "You're
like a pet." He leant down so his eyes were only a
cat hair away.
"I could take you from here, and you could be my pet."
He was already
someone's pet.
"Wouldn't
you like to get out of here?"
"Yes. But I
love Will." He said, trying to clarify.
"Do you. And
who is this Will you speak so highly of?" he asked with
an amused smile
on his face.
"My
therapist."
"Ah. He
treats you well?"
"Yes. I'm
his kitty."
"Oh? I like
the sound of that." He said, starting to thrust
again. "And
what of Steve?"
"Steve is
going to tell, get Will in trouble." He grunted as the
long intruder
pushed against his insides uncomfortably.
"Really?"
He said pushing Angel's leg up over his chest, still
bending over him.
"He's blackmailing you?"
"Yes.
Black." He said, repeating the colour of Steve.
En smiled.
"That's not acceptable." He murmured, doing sharp thrusts
into Angel's
hole, drawing out slowly.
"Harlen
killed your family?" He suddenly stopped thrusting. His eyes
were wide in
alarm.
Angel realised
there was a long hand over his mouth. He was
screeching. He
calmed himself, hoping En wouldn't be mad.
"I'm sorry.
Steve warned me you were ... delicate. Too delicate for
an ox." His
fingers ran over his body, worrying at seemingly random
spots on his
neck, near his ribs, shoulders, and suddenly he was
completely lax.
And giggly.
En started
fucking him again, laughing every time Angel collapsed
into giggles.
"How long
have you been here?"
"Six
years." He grunted.
"What a
travesty. Things like you should be kept on pedestals, not
in cages."
His cock was
waking up, he couldn't help it. En seized it and curled
slick wet hands
around him, starting to pull and tug and squeeze. He
had long
fingernails, and they scratched, but it felt good. He
whined.
En picked up the
pace, thrusting into him quickly, stretching him
inside. He let
the feelings sink into him, feeling bad for some
foggy reason, but
then rolling under the overwhelming sensations
anyway. The stars
looked on speechless as he took En inside him
easily, rolling
and twisting.
He groaned and
came over En's hand and his own stomach. En growled
and shot again,
and he felt the come trickling out of him, around
the thrusting
cock, tickling his hole and his crack. He could feel
himself panting
and En was completely calm-still, cooing over him,
running his hands
over his worn out trembling body.
En pulled out and
stood, pulling a tissue out of his pocket, wiping
himself up and
then, disturbingly, wadding the tissue carefully and
putting it in his
bag. He zipped up and knelt back down, wiped Angel
up and threw the
tissues in the bin underneath the desks.
He stood and
watched Angel still lying on the cover peacefully. He
cocked his head.
"Would you like to live forever Angel?"
Angel thought for
a second. "No."
"Really? Why
not?"
"I'm not
sure what I'd do."
En nodded.
"You probably wouldn't like the price anyway. No. You are
perfect. You must
stay warm."
Angel moved his
legs and felt an indignant cry from his anus that
woke the stars
up. En sat down on the cover next to Angel's tired
body. He palmed
his chest as he spoke.
"Did your
Will tell you to sleep with Steve?"
"He doesn't
know."
En nodded.
"That's good in a way. I would've been quite upset."
Angel thought he
wouldn't like En when he was upset. There was a
strange coldness
in his demeanour that Angel imagined could turn
quite vicious.
Like a sullen cat.
En sighed through
his nose. "So my darling, you don't like Steve do
you?"
He watched the
ceiling. He frowned. The stars had vanished.
"Angel
darling, are you listening to me?"
"Sorry?"
"You don't
like Steve do you?"
"No."
"He's a
fool. Evil too, which never looks good on a human. Don't
worry about him,
alright?"
Angel nodded and
frowned in pleasure pain as En got distracted by
his softened,
over sensitive penis. He flicked and prodded at him
for a while
before running his hands over his thighs. It was very
soothing.
"I like you
Angel."
"That's
okay." He said drowsily.
"Hmmm. I'd
like to keep you, but you wouldn't be how you are. I wish
I'd found you
before this Will did." He mused.
Angel drifted off
to sleep, as En's cold long hand stroked over his
chest.
**~~**
Will stood over
the toilet, one hand on the tiled wall and winced as
he tried to expel
the toxic piss from his body. He was definitely
sick with
something.
"Ah
Fuck!" He gritted his teeth as the burning became unbearable and
then he was done.
He frowned down at himself and went directly to
the phone in his
bedroom to call the doctor.
"Bloody,
fucking … yes `ello? I'd like to make an appointment. With
whoever, I don't
care."
The snot nosed
secretary told him to come now so he drove over and
sat in the small
white waiting room until `Telleck' was called. He
stood up and followed
the man in, feeling a build up of pressure in
his bladder but
not wanting to face the painful relief again so soon.
"So Dr
Telleck, what can I do for you?" He was a shorter man;
balding on top
who peered at Will through small rounded glasses,
like he was a
rare fish swimming in a fish tank.
"Got a
really sore throat, hurts to talk, fever, and burning piss."
He couldn't be
bothered with niceties. Didn't seem worth it anymore,
didn't seem to
matter.
The doctor looked
in his throat, in his ears, took his temperature
and listened to
him breathe, cold stethoscope on his chest. He
pressed against
his abdomen and Will signalled a slight discomfort.
"Okay, well
you've got fahryngitis, the fever could be because of
that, but it
wouldn't cause burning when you urinate. I'll have to
send a sample
off, so," He plucked a container from a
cupboard.
"Down the hall." He smiled.
"Great."
Will said enthusiastically.
He slumped down
the corridor and managed not to swear at the itchy
fire that he
pissed into the sample jar then made his way back. He
was given some
antibiotics for his throat and told he'd be informed
as soon as the
results got back. He drove back home, picking up some
soup for his sore
throat on the way home and struggled to swallow it.
He quickly fell
asleep on the couch, some idiotic sitcom blaring
with intrusive
canned laughter.
*
He blinked awake.
The telephone was
ringing. He blinked and licked his lips reaching
for the cordless
nearest to him.
He mouthed the
word `Hello' into the receiver, his vocal cords not
engaging, before
swallowing painfully and trying again.
"Hello?"
"Yes Dr
Telleck. This is Dr Hammond. We've got the results back,
would you like to
hear them over the phone or in person?"
"Just tell
me now thanks."
"Alright we
sent it through the usual tests and," he cleared his
throat. "You
have Chlamydia."
Will blinked, his
face blank. His eyebrows raised approximately
halfway up his
forehead. Then he calmed and rolled his eyes. It was
impossible for
him to get an STD. "Run the tests again, I only have
one partner and
we've both been tested."
"When?"
"Couple of
months ago." He said, thinking of the last Mikael
incident.
There was a
weighted silence from the other end. Will's eyes opened
in dawning realisation.
"Are you sure?" He asked seriously.
"Yes, well
very sure. I can give you just a seven day course of
Doxycycline,
that's usually the most effective."
Another pause.
"You may
want to bring your partner in as well. Many people don't
show symptoms,
and untreated chalmydial infections can cause a lot
of
problems."
Will knew what he
was getting at. So polite. Implying Liam was
fucking other
people. Couldn't be. He frowned anxiously.
Will dazedly
yessed his way off the phone. He got the prescription
and picked up the
tablets. He decided to make a quick trip to the
ward and get
Sally to run an STD test on Liam.
He felt seedy and
underhanded for even thinking it, but he had to be
sure. I mean…
where else…
No.
He wondered if he
could get Chlamydia from a toilet seat. Seemed
unlikely.
He jerked his car
left at the lights, to the sound of a resentful
blare of horn
behind him and made his way towards Liam.
*
"Hey
Sally." He said cheerfully, walking quickly to her desk.
"Hey Will,
what's up?" She grinned and saved her work, turning away
from the
computer.
"Nothing
much, I was just hoping you'd run an STD check on Liam?" he
said, trying to
keep smiling, not too wide, trying to keep the
desperation out
of his eyes.
She looked
confused. "He just had one. After Mikael…" she trailed
off and smiled
sadly. "Has it happened again?" She whispered.
"Maybe."
He said. "He's been complaining about … a burning
sensation."
"Oh."
She said knowingly. She reached over and brought out a
specimen jar,
which looked exactly like the one Will had used this
morning.
"Get him to use this for me?"
"Kay."
**~~**
"Hey
Angel." Will said shortly, coming into the room.
Angel smiled at
him, he seemed flustered. He pulled out a pack of M
and Ms he'd
bought from the staff machine and gave them to him,
feeling guilty
about enjoying En so much yesterday. He'd come, and
he felt bad about
it when he looked back. That was something he only
wanted to do with
Will.
Will took the
chocolate, confused. "What's this for?"
"For you and
… you." He nodded.
Will smiled and
tucked them into his jacket pocket. "Thankyou, pet.
I love M and
Ms."
Angel smiled. He
knew that. He felt happy that he'd apologised. Will
sat down on the
bed next to him and closed the door with his foot.
"Baby."
He said, holding his hands. "I want you to be completely
honest." He
nodded his head, squeezing Will's hands. "Have you …
played with
anyone since Mikael?"
"You."
He said promptly and leant forward for a kiss.
Will smiled and
leant back. "You sure pet? Only me?"
He nodded.
"What about
people you didn't want to play with, but they made you.
Any of
that?"
He pushed Steve
out of his head. "No."
He wasn't quite
sure where En fitted in, because he hadn't wanted to
have sex with him,
but then he enjoyed it anyway.
"None."
"No Daddy,
there's only you because I love you."
And that was
true. He wasn't lying. He did love Will. He always
enjoyed having
sex more when it was with Will. The stars were
confused.
Will watched him,
his face taut.
"What's
wrong?" he asked, pulling his hands from Will's to cup
around his jaw.
"Nothing
Baby. Just tired. Can you pee into this for me? A test."
Angel cocked an
eyebrow. That was a little strange, but seeing as
Will asked. He
walked to the bathroom and returned with the jar in a
plastic bag about
ten minutes later.
"Here you go
Daddy." He said warmly, handing it to Will who was
sitting on his
bed, bouncing his leg rapidly. He sat down next to
him, close so
they were touching.
Will nodded and
looked at the floor. "Kay, I gotta go give this to
Sally."
"Kiss
Daddy?" He asked when Will stood up.
Will scratched
the back of his neck and then leant in, kissing his
cheek. "Bye
sweets." He stared at him for a moment, like he was
trying to see
through him, so he posed on the bed, pulling his knees
together and
tilting his head to the side. Will smiled and left.
**~~**
He hadn't really
believed En when he said not to worry about Steve.
His eyelashes
were wet.
"That's
good. Push it a bit more…"
He reached back
and pushed the oversized phallus inside him more,
grunting, trying
to find some comfort for his knees on the floor.
"Take your
hand away."
Angel did,
placing his hand on the floor to help even out the weight
on his knees.
He'd been on the floor for a while.
"Bit
more."
He grimaced and
reached back to try to push it in more. It
wouldn't.
"It's too big." He whispered.
"Lie on your
back." Steve said.
He knew Steve
didn't want him to take the thing out so he raised up
carefully and
then, keeping his legs wide apart, manoeuvred himself
slowly onto his
back. He closed his eyes against the small red light
of the camera
Steve was holding, filming him on the floor.
"Now … hold
your legs back over your chest…"
He did, slowly,
every move shifting the enormous plug in his body.
Steve rested the
tip of his boot against the rod, nudging it a
little. It
crushed Angel's prostate unpleasantly and he yelped.
Steve gave a
harder nudge and the thing slid inside him, feeling
like it was
tearing him apart.
He screamed and
started crying again from the pain.
Steve nudged it
again.
"Now get up,
and sit down on it, all the way…"
"Nooo…"
He sniffled, feeling like he was bleeding inside. The stars
had their songs
zippered up.
Steve's boot
connected with his side.
"Do it, you
fuck."
He sat up
gingerly, needing to pee, and started using his weight to
swallow the
thing.
"Good boy,
good fucking boy…" Steve grunted.
He stepped
forward; close up to Angel's pain filled face and then
pulled his cock
out, wiping the slimy tip over his lips.
"Open
up."
Angel felt tears
running down his face, making his cheeks slick and
cold.
He hated it when
Steve fucked his mouth.
He could taste it
for days afterwards.
**~~**
The phone rang
while Will was brushing his teeth, and he spat and
rinsed quickly,
jogging out to the phone to catch it on the fourth
ring.
"Hello?"
"Hey Dr
Telleck? It's Sally from the ward. I just had to ring you
about the STD
test."
Will's breath
caught. "Yep?" He said nonchalantly.
"Yeah, he's
got Chlamydia. Good find Will." She said pleased. Will's
heart flipped
greasily inside out and started pumping
backwards.
"Chlamydia can have horrible long term affects if it's
not picked up, so
lucky you thought about it. Liam must be one of
the ones that
don't exhibit symptoms. Oh, apart from the burning,
I'll get him on a
treatment right away."
He couldn't
speak. He couldn't breath. His heart felt like fire.
"Hey, it'll
be alright Will. Chlamydia's easy to fix if it's caught.
Just a course of
antibiotic."
"Yeah"
He smiled. "I'm just sorry that …"
"Oh, yeah,
well poor Liam. He's always looking for attention like
that isn't he?
Loves everyone." She murmured, obviously settling in
for a chat.
"So wh –"
"I have to
go, sorry." He said shortly, and hung up the phone
dizzily. The
burning in his throat was unbearable, now that it
signified what it
did, the pain in his heart more so. He felt
betrayed, and
empty. Devastated. Used and stupid. He felt like an
idiot.
A big unethical
idiot, and there are reasons people don't sleep with
their patients,
and Liam was fucking insane and probably meowed at
everyone. What
they had wasn't special. It wasn't love, wasn't a
relationship. It
was just him and a crazy man who didn't know fuck,
and that's all it
ever was.
Loves everyone.
He stumbled into
the bedroom, blind and deaf and numb, ignoring the
drawings on the
wall and flopped down onto his bed, belly first,
smothering his face
in the pillows. He felt his chest expanding with
deep shuddery
breaths. He felt the pencil Liam had given him on
their anniversary
digging into his thigh. He reached in, yanked it
out and stared at
it, blankly, running his thumb along the
scratchy `love
you' on the naked wood. It hadn't meant anything.
Idiot.
Bloody shagging
idiot. All he was.
His chest started
to hiccup uncontrollably, so he relaxed his body
and let his heart
empty itself into tears no one would ever see.