TITLE: I’m Sorry

 

AUTHOR: persistenceofmemory

 

DISCLAIMER: * I own nothing, Joss and Co. own all. This is how I think this season should end*

RATING: R

PAIRINGS: A/S

 

 

*This is kinda a side story to Lost Champions. If you don’t understand
        this I suggest you read that first. *

Part 1

“Ugh!” Gunn grunted loudly. “When are those two going to stop? It’s been like an hour for God’s sakes!” Gunn was complaining about the moaning and groaning that was coming from Angel and Spike’s room, it had been growing steadily louder over the last hour.

“Give them a break will ya?” Lorne said coming to the defense of the noisy vampires. “Neither of them has had sex in months, let ‘em pound a few out. And don’t talk so loudly, Harmonica’s sleeping.”

“Ya lucky her.” Gunn said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Ugh! I can’t take this any more.” He flung the sheets back and climbed out of the bed. “I’m going out.” He huffed as he pulled on his clothes.

“Going where?” Lorne asked not taking his eyes off of Harmony.

“Just... out. I’ll be back before morning.”

“But Gunn, your hurt.” Lorne protested halfheartedly.

“I’ll be fine besides, I need some air.” Gunn said as he stalked out the door and ran into Fred. “Oh, Fred sorry did I hurt you?” He asked cautiously.

“Charles I’m fine. Where are you going at this time of night?” She asked sweetly.

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” Gunn said awkwardly.

“I was going to ask Lorne if he could look in on Wesley every once and a while, cuz I was going to go for a walk.” She said quietly, hoping not to wake the two people that were sleeping.

“Oh me to, the walk thing not the Wes thing, um...can I come with you?” Gunn asked hopefully. He hadn’t had a chance to talk to Fred since they had both gotten back.

“Sure, let me just go talk to Lorne and I’ll be right back.” She smiled.

“Okay.” Gunn shoved his hands in his pockets and began to rock back and forth on his heals, this had always been a nervous habit of his. What was he supposed to say to the girl he accidentally killed? ‘Hi Fred glad your back oh and by the way sorry about the whole selling your soul for a little Gilbert and Sullivan thing.’ Gunn thought. In his head it actually didn’t sound that bad but no he couldn’t say that.

“Gunn?” Fred’s soft voice snapped him out of his trance.

“What? I object!” He said out of instinct. “Oh um... sorry it kinda a...”

“Habit?” She finished his sentence for him.

“Ya, um... we should go now.” He said awkwardly, as he looked anywhere but at her.

“Okay.” Fred said happily.

        * * * * * *

Part 2

They had been walking for a while now, Gunn thought as he glanced at his watch. “2:15” he announced to no one in particular. “I promised Lorne we would be back by sun up.”

“Sounds good.” Fred said around a mouth full of frozen yogurt they had gotten at the 7 11 at the entrance of the park. She swallowed and began to speak again. “Oh look a bench, can we stop for a sec?”

“Sure.” Gunn grunted as they sat down on the park bench. Fred continued to eat as Gunn stared at his shoes.

“You want some?” Fred asked holding the spoon out to Gunn.

“I’m sorry.” Gunn said his eyes still fixed on his shoes.

“I said do you want some.” Fred repeated.

“No, I mean I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” Fred was confused, what was he talking about?

“I’m sorry for what I did to you. I’m the one who got Illyria’s coffin out of customs, that’s how Knox got it through. I signed for it so I could get the lawyer implant thingy fixed. It was fading, I got scared and so I signed Illyria through customs.” Gunn’s eyes were filling with tears as he continued to look at his shoes. “I didn’t know what I was getting through customs all I knew was it was bad and I didn’t care. I knew that someone would get hurt but I never thought it would be someone that I love, you least of all and I’m just sorry.”

He was crying freely now, his shoulders shaking with each new sob. “Gunn.” Fred said softly as she wrapped an arm around his shaking back. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Everything is fine now. I’m back and everything is going to be fine.” She cooed into his ear.

“No...” He sobbed. “Everything is not fine, Wes hates me and I can’t bear to look at myself in the mirror ‘cuz of what I did. I even...” He began to laugh between sobs. “I even took Lindsey’s place in a hell dimension just to punish myself. I was getting tortured every day, my heart was being literally torn out every day and nothing could make me feel less guilty. Nothing.” He said, burring his face in his hands, he couldn’t look at her anymore it hurt him to much. “Even now I would rather be back there then here with my friends. I don’t deserve to be back, I don’t deserve to live.” He was breathing heavily and his eyes were red and puffy.

“Gunn.” Fred said calmly. “Gunn!” She said again with a little more force wrenching his head upwards until his eyes locked on hers. “What you did was wrong yes but you don’t deserve to be tortured because of it. What you did for me was the single nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me.”

“Gunn’s jaw dropped in shock. “But... how?” he stammered.

“Let me finish. Now the actual dieing part was painful but what happened after that was nothing short of amazing.” She ran a hand across Gunn’s face to wipe the tears away as she spoke. “It was like I was everything and nothing at the same time and I saw everything, the here, the now, the then, the there I mean everything. When I was back in Pylea I was working on this one equation for the entire time I was there, and I couldn’t for the life of me find the answer but the instant my soul left my body I knew it, just like that poof! I also found out all the answers to every other equation I couldn’t figure out. Every mystery in my life was solved, I knew everything I had ever wanted to learn and I retained the knowledge, so now I know more than I did when I died.” She stopped and waited for Gunn to process everything.

“So... this was good?” Gunn was confused, he had been since the word amazing had crossed her lips.

“Well... I wouldn’t say good.”

“What would you say?” Gunn asked cautiously.

“I would say enlightening. I saw the reason behind every thing the Powers have done to screw us over and as shocking as this may seem, it all made sense. And I have to thank you for that. If the others hate you then they are wrong, Wesley will come around in his own time but for now, you have nothing to be sorry for.” She entwined her skinny hands with his strong ones and pulled him off the bench. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Now we’d better start heading back to the hotel.” She smiled

“Okay.” He smiled back. “Oh wait can we pick up some food and blood on the way, you know to re-stock the kitchen.”

“Sure. I know a butcher shop that’s open all night.” She said happily as they walked back towards the park entrance, her cup of frozen yogurt still on the bench.

        * * * * * *

Part 3

Gunn and Fred walked into the lobby of the Hyperion laden down with grocery bags. “I’ll go put this stuff in the fridge.” Fred said softly trying not to wake anyone up.

“I’ll put this stuff in the cupboard.” Gunn said placing the bags on the island in the middle of the kitchen and beginning to put the boxes of food away. “Hey, sounds like Angel and Spike finally stopped.” Gunn joked.

“Ya, I don’t here them.” She giggled. “So how long have they been together?”

“Got me, they were still at the mortal enemies stage when I left.”

“Oh, we can ask them in the morning.” She said happily putting the last of the blood and ice cream in the fridge. “We had better get to bed.”

“Ya I guess so.” Gunn yawned. A few moments later he was in front of Fred’s door.

“Well good night Charles.” She said sleepily.

“Good night Fred. Oh Fred.” He asked, as she was about to open the door to her room.

“Yes?”

“The whole crying thing...”

“Totally forgotten, in fact what crying thing?” she joked.

Gunn gave her a gracious smile. “Thanks Fred. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” She said as she disappeared into her room, which he did soon after.

* Just a short fic. If I have enough time I might make this into a series, maybe over the summer. Review please and thank you. *

 

 

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