Sorry I haven’t updated as soon as I should have but as you all may have guessed, I stumbled onto a writer’s block. Do not fear though, I have begun to chip away at it and produce some writing. One of the biggest obstacles I’ve had is the first person present point of view. There’s only so much you can do with that and it doesn’t really help when I’m trying to come up with an outside conflict. Hopefully, I’ve figured out a way to get through this POV problem…

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//I was woken up that morning and brought to a room I had never seen before. Granted, I had never seen anything other than my cell and a handful of other rooms in my entire life. I’d only gotten a brief view of the outside world every once in a while when the priests would have ceremonies that involved the whole monastery, and since they couldn’t afford to leave me alone and unsupervised I’d be dragged along on a leash, no less, only too be put in a cage at the far side of the courtyard where I wouldn’t be in the way.

Anyway, I stray from the point. I was taken to this room I had never seen before and doused with cold water. My skin was then scrubbed until it was red and my hair was treated in very much the same manner. They washed me and scrubbed me in places I didn’t want them to touch and then it was over. They gave me this long white shirt to wear and then they took me to have my hair combed and braided. They said my day had finally come. I was finally going to do what I was born to do.

I wasn’t sure if I should be happy that I was finally leaving this god-awful place or if I should be scared about what this person I had never met was going to do to claim me. I had heard the stories and I knew what was expected of me, so I wasn’t sure what to think.

The next thing I know, my hands and feet are cuffed together and a heavy collar is put around my neck and I’m being carted off to the castle to meet my lord, Heero Yuy. I think I fell asleep sometime during the trip. I could barely see the scenery from my vantage point inside a covered wagon so the boredom got to me. The next thing I know, I’m being dragged down a series of halls and then I’m thrown into a huge room. The priest follow me, setting up a table full of all the torture devices I’ve heard and read about. I was not looking forward to that meeting.

Just as I thought I was safe, one of the priests, the one that looks at me funny, came and ripped off my shirt. I was then gagged and then he shoved me over the side of the bed and put something very big and uncomfortable in my backside. He then made me kneel down next to the bed then attached a leash between my collar and the leg of the bed and told me not to move until my ‘master’ told me to.

I finally let myself cry when they shut the door behind themselves. I was glad to finally be away. Maybe death would be better, they had hurt me all my life, maybe this was a mercy afforded to me by the god of death that is my patron.

Then he walked into the room.

He was just as regal looking as the position he held-or was going to hold- dictated he should be. He was tall and handsome and when our eyes met, I just couldn’t believe how stunning they were. Never had I seen eyes so deep and intense, they just filled me with all sorts of chaos inside. Then I remember what he was meant to do to me and I can’t look at him any more. I feel more ashamed as more tears well up and I turn away. I can’t look at him any more, call me a coward, but I can’t bear to see that face and know what he’s going to do to me.

He tells me he won’t hurt me but I don’t really believe him, then he takes off my gag. He asks for my name and I look into his mesmerizing eyes again. I whisper it and he speaks kindly to me, he tells me he’s not going to hurt me and takes off all my binds. He moves to throw them off to one side and I can’t help but curl up into a ball the way I’ve always done when they’ve hurt me.

He places his robe on my shoulders then asks me what’s wrong and I tell him I’m in pain. He looks disgusted when he finds out that they’ve prepared me for him and if I didn’t know any better, I’d think that he didn’t know what was supposed to happen between us tonight.

When he removes that *thing* from my backside and throws it in the corner with the rest of the things he’s released me from, I ask him what he’s going to do with me. He considers and tells me that he doesn’t want to hurt me, that’s when we struck a bargain, that’s when we agreed that we were both going to do things a little differently than they wanted us to. We’re the last, after all. Who is to say we *have* to follow orders when there’s no one after us that we can mess things up for?

That night is going to be one I’ll never forget. He made love to me, or at least that’s what it felt like. He didn’t try to hurt me and he wasn’t being forceful. Quite the opposite, really. He was gentle and he took his time, as if to make sure that I wasn’t hurt throughout my “claiming.”

After it felt like I had finally died and gone to heaven, I lay awake in his arms, too comfortable to move or even think about wanting to get away. He had promised that he’d keep me, but I still wasn’t sure about him.

When I wake up, I’m being carried away from the king’s room and being taken back to the monastery. I thought he had lied to me and let them take me away. I was so furious! Then they took me back to my cell and beat me. I thought they were going to hurt me even more but I passed out. I don’t really want to remember, but Heero gave me this journal to purge myself of all the things that keep building inside so that’s what I intend to do.

In any case, I was in and out of consciousness for I don’t know how long and then I wake up in Heero’s arms and he’s taking me home. All doubts I had in him disappeared when he took me away from those priests and back to where he lived.

He fed me and let me take a nice hot bath then he let me sleep on his bed and kept me nice and warm. I felt protected and loved. Okay, so I don’t exactly know the feeling of what it’s like to be loved, but I have a pretty good idea that it feels like this. I just wish I knew for sure. I’ve said some mean things to Heero since he got me back from the priests but still, I can’t be too sure. I told him just what I thought about being a prisoner and I guess I let him know that I can tell what people are thinking sometimes. I just still don’t understand what he wants me around for if he’s not going to hurt me. My world just doesn’t work that way.

In any case, he’s letting me have my own room but he wants me to sleep in his bed. I’ve done it before, and I know that he won’t do anything more than hug me while we sleep, but I want freedom. If he really lets me have my own room, I’ll be more than happy to come sleep with him at night, just so long as I have some place to call my own during the day. //

I put away my quill and inkpot. The seamstress has just arrived and I’m to be fitted for my outfits. The lady has many bolts of different fabrics, all sorts of colors and textures but I’m mostly drawn to three colors: Black, variations of purple, and dark blue - like Heero’s eyes.

She sets about measuring, poking, prodding, and the like until she is satisfied. I’m told that my first outfits should be ready by that evening and left to my own devices. Still dressed in Heero’s sleeping shirt that for me, reaches the floor, I walk to the window and sit on the ledge looking out. My life here is going to be very different from the one I led back at the monastery, but at least now, I know that as long as I’m in Heero’s care, I’ll be fine.

He’ll keep me safe. Me. His little Shinigami.

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I’m sorry this was really short, and I can name all the excuses in the world but it all comes down to me not updating as fast as I should be. Thank you to all my lovely reviewers who came up with excellent conflicts for me to do and since I had a lot of requests to keep this as a first person, I have to figure out how to work in the conflicts if this is a first person, present POV. The only thing that I came up with is having multiple FPP POVs which means, I’m going to have to be getting in the heads of many characters, and I have the suspicion that by the time I’m done with this story, I’m either going to have multiple personalities or I’m going to become schizophrenic. Either way, as long as I come up with a good story, it’ll all be worth it, ne?

(BTW- if anyone likes my stories and wants to archive-which I don’t think they’re good enough to, but I won’t belittle anyone else’s opinion-, just let me know and you can have them, kay?)

I hope this’ll hold y’all over until next chapter! >^.^<