Saturday, October 07, 2006 |
Mixed Thinking
Here i am thinking of what can i do to do something that i am thinking of.
actually im thinking of it for a very long time i even try to visualized what to do and say and think of what might the turn out of it and thats it!thats the problem!i often if not always think of what might happen and even if i try to think neutral or possitively gee i cant maintain that feeling hahahahaha coz i always turn neg on that matter hahahahaha!its very crazy of me^-^.
So here i am thinking of what can i do and what can i say.what to do,how to do,how to begin,where to begin,how to react(gee was it really necessarily?hahahaha^-^)-what i mean there is that what will i react to her reaction?hahahahaha something like that,what will its consequences,the turn out,and many more that is like or related to it while im reviewing in my 2 major subjects which cover 2 chapter each subjects hahahaha and of which one and one half of one of my subject is im just going to read only now hahahahaha.
i know i can do it, i have somewhat long time but gee i just cant stop thinking what to do now hahahaha there never might come a time like this now so i might take this advantage(if it is really advantage hahahaha-of course it is,thats why it surfaced again when i had already try to forget it hahahaha just kidding....but gee i just cant forget it!^-^.
After completing reviewing one of my major subjects and after a few minutes that i start to review the other one,here come one of my prof,actually i dont know why i stay in that room but i just feel that,that time i should be there,then one of my prof saw me,she then talk to me,and then gee hahahahaha i dont know why she asked me something like that gee!i know that i can do.... not saying it to her but gee during that time,im somewhat hightened hahahaha coz im thinking of what should i do?like i said a while ago,im thinking of what can i do now,or how to do and begin it.time is very short now and i might never find the time and moment where i can do it, that if i cant do it this time how am i sure i can do it the next time when many good moments and instances are now in this time,gee hahahahaha,its outrageous!^-^,it is unwise then!^-^.
Thats why when she ask me something like "that",gee my mind cant think as it can think normally,(the question is,am i thinking normally longer than not?hahahaha of course thats only a joke^-^).so a prolong topic on it,makes me vulnerable in not hiding something hahahaha and saying whats in my mind and thats gee hahahaha.so the result is gee i cant believe it!i did,and yes i did say it to my prof hahahaha i must be crazy back then to say it!hahahahaha what am i thinking that time?!gee!of course we talk something else but that is the highlight of what we talk and until now i just cant believe it!hahahahaha.
And now after that,it makes me hahahaha i dont know,it makes me think more hahaha,and yea of course i have not forgotten that i should study then review my motivation so when i see the time is almost five gee it reminded me that,hey jess you still have subjects to study and review, you can think of it later hahahaha so after an hour thiking of it(hahahaha was it long?^-^)gee,i should concentrate now in my subjects for a moment^_^, gotta go somewhere else^-^.gee can i make it?hahahaha.i should have not think of it very long and think of my test first hahahaha i must be fool hahahaha.
But gee just before i can go somewhere else,hahahaha nothing i just saw someone....
So there i am studying and reviewing my subjects..i dont know if i still have time but gee i know i can make it,it's not that im used to this kind of situation(studying and then immediately reviewing it hahahaha)but an hour might be just enough to have an idea on each terminology^-^.
And hey,its already 6,its time now.dont know if im not that lucky that evening hahahaha(parang pessimism at optimism lang-just like pessimism and pessimism-^-^), that in our io,we just make an essay(something like that),gee thats the easy one(oh well just that time i feel its the easy one to review esp when the test is obj.(oh cant help it hahaha) but its ok coz the essay is not that hard so i can say that it's like taking an objective quiz too.
In my motivation(oh gee why it is called motivation?hahahaha^-^),im somewhat prepared,yup!preparead,but gee dont know what happen....seems like an angel talk to me hahahaha or was it gee cherub never get tired of shooting me hahahahaha^-^............oh well,im still lucky in my quiz coz we have an essay too and an objective but gee in my essay i just cant write good but i think i have able to write good hahahahaha(love your own work^-^) but gee i just cant think so well that time hahahahaha coz im crazy hahahaha so in the end,hahahaha i dont know if my essay answer is good enough and gee my objective is if im not wrong is equivalent to a grade of 3(hope its 3 hahahaha^-^),gee i just cant believe it!first my io test is not good but my motivation is good(and yea coz of that gee spelling im only 9 and not 10 out of ten in my last quiz-and my quiz in clinical,coz of the spelling it got me i think more or less 2 points hahahaha)and now my quiz is reciporocal hahahaha vice versa.i think my io now is good but my motivation is gee not.
Dont know but gee,i think im performing alternately,good and not good not only in io and motivation but also to my other major subjects and gee thats not so good!
Im thinking of it now, was it still ok to continue improving in terms of grades?hahahaha coz im in my final year now and only one sem left to go.....
Oh i guess there's somewhat a good thing about it so gotta continue changing?fighting my habbit of studying.it's like this sem is a test run of it hahahaha and the final and the result of this change(if ever i make it)can be seen next sem hahahaha).oh next sem is another sem and another challenge to take and different environment and moments but what else is different with it?its part of life.
Oh gee so much to do!so much to re-evaluate hahahahaha. i had already re-evaluate and change somehow many things(though it might not be observable hahahaha^-^)but many to change still!
hay!life nga naman talaga oh!(what a life!)
Oh yea i remember,ms dhes give me a great help today coz she gave me a picture which can scare all the mouse in our house hahahahaha, her picture^-^(of course thats not a joke!^-^....i mean it's a joke^-^).she gave me a picture of her hahaha.oh well i ask for it^-^,nothing i just want to hahahaha^-^(excluding the fact that it will scare all the mouse in our house^_^hahahaha kidding^-^),just nothing more but a remembrance^-^, thats all.
I think nothing more happen today that is worth telling,gotta go now.oh yea in my early subjects.....hahahahaha,the first one.....hmmmmm gotta say something later in another topic if i ever have time and the next one,gee!i somewhat like the grouping hahahaha.i really should stop now before i write anything^-^.
_Jesse
Saturday, October 07, 2006 |
