NRI SURVIVAL GUIDE IN US

Please do not consider this as patronizing. I found this article on the net, it is written by Mr.Dhir Razani. I think some of the points which he has made in this article are very true according to my personal experience in Califorinia. No offence meant. Your comments and suggestions are most welcome. You can see the original article by clicking here. Regards, Jesal.

1. Do not constantly think of "returning to India."
You took a decision to migrate to US, or to live in
US for some years. Be comfortable with that
decision and the consequences. Do not constantly
compare India and US (in your own mind, and while
speaking to others).

2. "When in Rome be like Romans" should be the
philosophy (as much as possible). Take proactive
interest in "fitting-in" the adopted country, not
to "stand out" and crying out loud about diversity,
racial discrimination. The US laws are as fair as
it gets. It is your job too to try to fit into the
society.

3. Mix with people of all communities, ethnic,
racial and national origin. If you do so, you will
*not* feel that there are too *many* Indians in bay
area or wherever you are staying. Even if you do
feel, do not go around saying this, specially to
non-Indians. FYI, in bay area, everybody thinks 
that there are too many people of his nationality.

4. Do not judge other NRIs by their wealth or the
number of years they have been in US. When you meet
another NRI,  your first question should not
be, "How many years you have been in US ?"

5. Develop taste for, and eat food of as many
nationalities as possible. When asked for
suggestion about a restaurant, do not always
suggest Indian or Thai. This is not to say that you
start eating meat if you are a vegetarian. In a
mixed gathering, don't make it a point to make
everyone know that you are a vegetarian or non-
drinker. Just exercise your choice (of eating
vegetarian food or of not drinking) quietly
and gracefully.

6. Make an effort to make friends from every
nationality. Do not restrict your friend circle to
your ex-college mates and other Indians.

7. When someone says something about his/some
country, do not immediately start, "in India it is
like this ...". Instead, ask more about his country.

8. Wear American clothes as much as possible,
except for Indian get-togethers.

9. The standards of hygiene are different. People
are expected to take more care of skin, looks,
clothes etc. Those who do not keep a beard, shave
frequently. Those who do, must trim/shape beard
regularly.

10. Do not force your kids to be "Indian" at home
or outside. If you have chosen to be in US, it is
hypocritical to force your kids to be "Indian".

11. Know that it is not savings, but investments
that creates wealth. Do not get into hard-core
savings mode. Instead get into investment mode.
Do SIP ("Systematic Investment Plan") and have long
term financial planning. Do not spend
disproportionate amount of time to save a few
bucks. Manage time efficiently. Note that wealth
creation can be done both in India or US. So you
should not be thinking, "being in US = making
money".

12. Stop thinking in Rupees. If you must do so, the
conversion factor is 10, not 48.

13. Many things in India are somewhat "communist".
Many of us do not have a good understanding how
capitalism works. It may be a good idea to study a
bit of economics and economic history. Learn how
companies work. And how to read company reports.
Learn about various investment opportunities.

14. While in India, you detested having a loan on
your head. Why should that change as soon as you
are in US ? Why do you have to buy that new
car on a 3 or 5 year loan ? Instead, buy an old car
that minimizes your loan amount and takes you from
point A to point B. Pay off the loan as soon as
possible. You can buy your new car, out of the
capital gains that you can make if you invest
regularly and wisely. It is very easy to fall into
the "penny wise, pound foolish" trap. Many people
take 13% APR loan without hesitation, and then do
PhD style research on which airline gives the
cheapest ticket to India or, where they can save a
few bucks.

15. Do not buy something just because you are
getting a "good deal". Or, just because something
is available in the mall. Buy what you need.
Do not get cowed down by marketing tactics. The
thumb-rule is this: before you buy anything, ask
yourself, "would I have thought about buying this
if I hadn't seen this advertisement ?" If the
answer is yes, go ahead. If no, you are getting
pressured into buying something by marketing
pressure. Ignore it no matter how "good" the deal
sounds.

16. Do not be "money minded." Do not always think
what your neighbor/batch mate has and you don't. At
the end of our lives, our wealth will not matter.
Our relationships will matter. Invest in developing
relationships. Look at money as a means to an end,
not as an end in itself.

17. Try to minimise the heavy Indian accent while
speaking English. Learn American phrases and slang.
Use them, specially with non-Indians. Acquiring
American accent will help and it will come
naturally with time. It is not necessary to speak
Yankee English all the time, but it helps to say
the words the way most Americans say.

18. Speak slowly, with relevant pauses and with
proper intonation. This is difficult because Indian
languages are mostly "flat". This issue is very
severe for south Indians. I get the feeling they
tend to speak the fastest. Use a lot of body
language and remember that proper eye-contact is a
must in the west. It is not rude to make
eye-contact.

19. If you often tend to make
philosophical/abstract statements
(e.g. "women ! who can understand them" or
"Let's not run after money"), get rid of this
habit. Specially with Americans. Indians have a
habit of saying things which they don't really
mean, or which does not mean anything. Americans
tend to be very practical and give weight to
everything you say. So, it's baffling for an
American to hear about the evils of "materialism"
from an Indian, whose own life is not really an
example of sainthood.

20. There is a lot of difference in US and India in
what is considered polite. Average American is
*much* more polite and courteous. Spend a lot of
time practicing to be polite.

21. Develop taste for western music and Art forms.
If you are an average urban middle-class Indian,
you already know Rock and Pop music. There is
no reason to dump it completely and develop sudden
taste for Carnatic/Hindustani or whatever. Try to
get familiar with the classical western art. Of
course, if your interest in traditional Indian
music is genuine, there is no reason to abandon it.

22. Realize that western value system and sense of
morals are slightly different from eastern. Try to
accommodate these differences. Average American has
a lot of Integrity. And, punctuality, pride in his
country, sense of privacy. It is not OK to ask
personal questions. Even if he gives you a personal
information, it is not a license to ask more
personal questions. Physical distance between
people should be more than what is OK in an average
Indian city. Average Indian will score a little
differently on the "integrity" scale. So, work on
it. Always mean what you say. And back your words
with actions, when appropriate. Unlike in India,
where "yes" can mean "yes", "no", "may be" or
anything in between, in US, a "yes" means "yes" and
a "no" means "no". It is not impolite to say "no".
When your boss asks you to commit a date for a
task, do not just blurt out some date, and *then*
start thinking. It is OK to ask for sometime to
assess the task and then commit a time. Of course,
during that time, really work on it and give a
realistic date. Note that if you don't make
eye-contacts, you will be perceived as uninterested
or even, dishonest. If you lack the right body
language and proper communication techniques, you
may be perceived as dishonest.

23. Just because a person is elder to you, you are
not required/expected to shower undue respect for
him/her. Behave in a matter-of-fact way. Of course,
your fear of appearing "patronizing" should not
come in the way of helping someone in need for help.

24. There are lot of things very good in Indian
culture. It is good to contribute to the "great
American melting-pot" by introducing Americans to
those. But this must be done discreetly, not with a
"we are superior" attitude. Also, ask yourself why
you want to continue following an Indian habit in
US. Is it because it is really a good habit ?
Or, is it because you are too lazy to move out of
what is comfortable to you ? If it is the latter,
think again.

25. This is for men. Do not stare and ogle at
women. Just because a woman is wearing
tight/revealing clothes, she is not necessarily
an "easy" or a "loose moral" woman.
Do not overestimate this "lack of morals
among Americans" thing. Most Americans are actually
conservative and do not approve of adultery,
cheating and "free sex".

26. Do not indulge in too much of nostalgic things.
Do not constantly talk about how things are in
India. Do not pretend to be an expert in Indian
politics, history or cricket (most of us are not).

27. How much did you indulge in Indian
cultural/religious activities, when you were in
India. Probably, not much. How many times did you
go to temple ? Probably, not often. Were you a
religious fundamentalist in India ? Probably, not.
Most of us were not violently atheists, but
were not hard-core religious either. Our interest
in religion can best be described as lukewarm. Why
should these change after you come to US ?
Do not turn into the greatest India/Hinduism
lover/basher overnight. There is no logical reasons
of changing your earlier views.

28. Study ancient Greek and Roman history and
culture. Almost everything western has origin in
those classical periods.

29. Try to have a balanced life. Your work hours
should not always be long. Work efficiently. Come
to office early and leave early. Do physical
activities. Have outdoor hobbies. Travel to places
you like. Don't necessarily head to Las Vegas or
Niagara, just because that's all you have heard
about. Instead, invest some time in thinking about
what kind of places you would like to go to.
And go to those places. In short, develop a sense
of individuality.

30. Do not brag about the places you have visited.
Or about how much you suffered during childhood. Or
how horrible your hometown is. Be modest, polite
and down-to-earth. Too many NRIs tend to pick up
high-airs. At work, do *not* be modest or shy. Brag
about your capabilities, achievements and
potentials. But it must be done tactfully. Be
careful not to appear bragging. Difficult ? Read
self help books and Dilbert comics. You will get
clues.