living in India Vs. US

1. The police are actually fighting REAL CRIME so you are relaxed to see that your taxes spent on them is well placed.
2. You can walk the streets with a fucking beer on your hand.
3. You don't have to be 17 to go kill red or yellow people and at the same time, you don't have to be 18 to buy tobacco and 21 to buy alcohol.
4. A pack of smokes don't cost you 4 dollars.
5. You can always bribe your way out of trouble.
6. The chics do something more productive than whine and bitch about equal rights.
7. You don't always have to settle for a used chic.
8. Indian chics actually cook and clean when you tell them to do so.
9. Indian chics follow the second universal law of nature- that real women do housework.
10. Indian chics never say no.
11. Airport personnel have a human organ called the brain.
12. You can actually touch the strippers in a strip club (YAY!!! WOOOW!!!).
13. If you are the president of the country, you can enjoy a blowjob in peace.
14. You can hire mercinaries and kill bouncers who give you a hard time.
15. You can fry anyone's ass you want provided you have enough money to pay the cops.
16. You don't need a blowtube to exhale marijuana smoke while puffing a few bongloads or joints inside your room.
17. You can grab your secretary's ass without fear of facing lawsuit.
18. If you don't like your spouse, you can always send him/her to Hades.
19. Indian chics don't act like guys.
20. If the plague of feminism ever strikes your household, you can quell it through the use of brutal force.
21. You don't need to do your own laundry.
22. You don't need to make your own bed.
23. You don't need to cook your own food.
24. Indian maids don't whine and bitch and clean ANYTHING.
25. You don't have to pay US$60 per hour for maid services.
26. If your wife starts getting used to saying that annoying "NO", you can freely throw more than a few punches and kicks.
27. You can drive while guzzling a bottle of vodka without worrying about the cops.
28. You don't need to take that annoying written and driving exam to get a drivers license.
29. You can use state resources as a means to meet your personal ends.
30. The boyfriend of the chic who drives a black mitsubishi gallant in the area code 92354 and license plate 3EMZ082 or 3MEZ082 (can't rememba which one) would have suffered a slow death involving mutilation, genital removal, animal rape and sodomy.
31. You can join the army and pillage a village and you are protected from NATO, HRW and the UN.
32. You can own an AK-47 without a license.
33. Money is always a substitute for a license or ID.
34. The nightclubs don't suck.
35. You can always cut through lines.
36. If you don't find a seat on a bus or train, you can always hop on the rooftop.
37. You don't have to give up 50% of your shit when you get a divorce.
38. You can piss and shit on the road. Now, THAT is a TRUE democracy!
39. You can hook up with a chic about 100,000,000,000 times better looking than you are.
40. The person you are sleeping with does not have to be 18 years of age.
41. The strip clubs don't suck.
42. You can actually find a donkey bar.
43. The beer isn't horse piss.
44. NO ONE ever checks you for drugs in raves.
45. You don't have to put up with the crap them inferior vermin (petty bureaucrats) dish out on you.
46. You can be a serial killer and run for president...THIS IS equal opportunity in its TRUEST form!
47. Your troops will never rat on you if you abused your power in any manner, as long as you announce it is done in the name of nationalism.
48. If you abused your power in the name of nationalism, you get a medal of honor and a promotion.
49. If you want someone kidnapped, you can always count on military intelligence to do the job for you for a very reasonable price.
50. If you were the Bill Clinton of India, Monika Lewinsky would be thrown in an oven of a hotel even before she had the chance to open her mouth.
51. You can pollute as much as you want and if some environmentalists chain themselves to your factory, you are free to use a few automatic rifles and grenades to clean things up.
52. Intoxicated intercourse does not necessarily equate to rape.
53. You can test fire your new surface to surface missile on Sri-Lanka.
54. With ample revenues to deal with the legal system, you can have more than a few wives.
55. You can take out your anger on insubordinate Kashmiris.
56. You don't need to do that annoying vehicle registration shit.
57. When you get pulled over, the first thing a cop asks you is not "license and registration" but is "got some cash kind sir?"
58. You don't have to be on your own after you're 18.
59. The parents aren't greedy and cheap.
60. You can legally marry your first cousin who is below 18.
61. The cable TV doesn't suck.
62. You can punch, kick and piss on a cop provided you got enough money to pay off his superior.
63. You don't go to jail for attempting suicide.
64. Young office secretaries don't pretend as if they are doing something important. They acknowledge that they are just there for one thing: S-E-X.
65. You can look like an Orc from Warcraft II and be with a chic who is like....wwwoooooooooowwwwwwwwwww.
66. Prostitution is legal.
67. Drugs are quasi legal.
68. Indian chics never try and dominate a male.
69. You can peacefully leave an Indian chic behind and be assured that you won't find the entire 5th fleet on your bedroom when you return.
70. You don't have to be a celebrity to enjoy "celebrity status."
71. Chics dig dapper young rappers and communist revolutionaries more than blatant   jocks.
72. You don't have to treat a chic like shit to gain her respect.
73. A war crime can always be written off as national security defense and a crime can always be written off as personal security defense. The key word is always.
74. India isn't an totalitarian state.
75. You don't have ridiculous groups such as "People for purity: winning the war against masturbation."
76. The mere sight of a cop doesn't give you the instinct to become a serial killer.
77. The neighbors can't call the police because you were being too loud and obnoxious.
78. You can whack off looking at a chic from your balcony washing a car and you won't get thrown off your apartment complex.
79. You don't have to spend 22 hours explaining where your country is on a world map.
80. You never see those stupid ads where some half mutated, fully retarded kid shows up and says "smoking a joint is stupid."
81. Islamic fundamentalists are infinitely more sane than christian fundamentalists.
82. Indian chics know how to treat a man right.
83. You NEVER have to put up with that annoying "it's ok to say NO" crap because it isn't.
84. Indian massage parlors aren't lame....i.e. you can get a little more than a mere backrub.
85. You can spank waitresses in the ass.
86. Christianity is a minority in India (PHEW!!!).
87. Our value system isn't 1/100 as fucked (screwing a ho is wrong but it's ok to screw another person's wife or girl).
88. In India, we don't have those annoying clowns dressed in all white robes torching crosses.
89. We know what "Aryan" REALLY means.
90. We know that the schwatstika is NOT the symbol of Thor's ass.

I. WHY US IS BETTER THAN INDIA