Lyrics, Bovaquarium
Bovaquarium
Vasectomy
Let me tell ya little story about my little problem
How I lost my friend and I really really miss him
I don't feel the same
He left one day and will never ever come back
My friend is manhood and that is what I lack
But I don't know who to blame
So my wife told you that she didn't want any children
She's just jealous about my other girlfriend
Now I see her gloat (here diagonally)
My doctor did the job cause he needed the money
Now I find that my wife is his brand new honey
On his brand new boat
All because I screw and I get caught
Take my tubes and slice em and then you tie em in a knot
This is your vasectomy, this is your vasectomy, this is your vasectomy, this is your vasectomy....
In by morning and out by noon
To have my balls scooped out with a grapefruit spoon
Now my doctor says that I can't lift heavy boxes
Cause he cut too far, all the way to up to my coccyx
Shave my balls, make sure that i'm clean-dus
Take your knife and you set it on my penis
Doctor, doctor, you're gonna make me sick
Your scalpel is smiling and it's looking at my dick
You de-activated my private parts
I used to jizz like a geyser and now i'm feeling parched
Why oh why did you have to make me sterile
Now my loins are floating in a barrel
This is your vasectomy, this is your vasectomy, this is your vasectomy, this is your vasectomy....
Because of the wound my doctor forged, I'm unable to loom, weave, and forge
I can't spit my seed, reap my crop or spawn
My dog's chewing on my dick in the front lawn
I'm having engine trouble, a tube traffic jam
Girls ignore me because I don't have a gonad
Inability to produce, propagate, fertilize
Cut and chop, mince and clog, snip and save, hash and dice
Stop and snag, slit and clip, sever, splice, and shear
I'm such an anti-man, I'll need a pap-smear
Separate, lacerate, sick to my stomach because I just ate
This is your vasectomy, this is your vasectomy, this is your vasectomy, this is your vasectomy....
Nationalism, racism, it's all just separatism
all the fear gonna make me have a feargasm
Givin' it up for societal vascetomy
Got to give it up for societal vasectomy
Ignorance and fear, the consummate in hatred
Don't be callin me willy because my name, it ain't alfred
What's the difference? Where's the vas-deferens?
What's the difference? Where's the vas-deferens?
What's the difference? Where's the vas-deferens?
There ain't no difference, because...
This is your vasectomy, this is your vasectomy, this is your vasectomy, this is your vasectomy....
Joe Bob's Chicken Lounge
She's got the role for this parade
That swallows him up, now he's afraid
Cause each and everybody's thing
Slicked back and jumped up with them diamond rings
Cause the role you take is dead-pan
It's death on the installment plan
Innocent and glad
Now she's lying with everyone she's had
But he's in love, she's in debt, he don't know about her disease yet
and they found her swingin' down, at Joe Bob's Chicken Lounge
Joe Bob's Chicken...
Then we enjoy those ??? crazy crease
Slipped off them jammies, stepped into some grease
Like the sound of happy birds
Eating all those ???? fast, last words
Handing out those chicken guts
Giving back those un-choice cuts
Hear us bursing at the seams
To cauterize our wounded dreams
But he's in love, she's in debt, he don't know about her disease yet
and he found her swingin' down, at Joe Bob's Chicken Lounge
Joe Bob's Chicken...
Cause the role you take is dead-pan
It's death on the installment plan
Innocent and glad
Now he's lying with everyone she's had
But he's in love, she's in debt, he don't know about her disease yet
and he found her swingin' down, at Joe Bob's Chicken Lounge
Joe Bob's Chicken...
Schmuddy Bhuddy
You wake up in the morning, you drink your glass of foam
The way you get so high, when you smoke your chicken bone
You think there's nothing finer than your grandma's methadone
But there's a thing you gotta have and then you call it for your own, you call it
Schmuddy bhuddy, schmuddy bhuddy, it's your buddy, shmuddy bhuddy,
Call it schumuddy bhuddy, guaranteed to make you feel good
You take you some jamaica, some that's nice and hard and green
You put it in a skillet just a like a sizzlelean
You dip it into chocolate, darkest that you've seen
And you've got yourself a treat, you feel a low down and mean, you call it
Schmuddy bhuddy, schmuddy bhuddy, it's your buddy, shmuddy bhuddy,
Call it schumuddy bhuddy, guaranteed to make you feel good
Cheeba going thru my head I got the munchies
Cheeba going thru my head I got the munchies
Get de cotton mouth, I can drink the seven seas
When I get stoned, take a two hour shit
Get the munchies so bad, i'll eat jah vomit
5am, eat the sliders by the bag
100 white castles never ever make me gag
Poke the rent-a-cop in his jelly filled gut
Me and the man cool cuz we eat the donut
Those natty haired, dreads-r-us, hippy wanna be
Smokin' herb, preachin' peave is really stinky
Plug up their mouths with a schmuddy bhuddy bar
Plug up their mouths with a schmuddy bhuddy bar
I'm 22 and I cannot drive a car
When I golf high never ever make par
Cheeba going thru my head I got the munchies
Cheeba going thru my head I got the munchies
Joe's grandma is from de Erie
Eat one, get stoned, get the muchies, eat another
Eat one, get stoned, get the muchies, eat another
Eat one, get stoned, get the muchies, eat another
Eat one, get stoned, get the muchies, eat another
You got your schmuddy bhuddy and you think you do no wrong
All the ladies love you for that great big king-kong dong
You eat your schmuddy bhuddy, wash it doen with water bong
And when you do you feel good all night long
Schmuddy bhuddy, schmuddy bhuddy, it's your buddy, shmuddy bhuddy,
Call it schumuddy bhuddy, guaranteed to make you feel good
Post Modernist Ska
Who dare stare down honesty, from such a grand peak as my soapbox
Pointless pride a commodity, twiching grins, nervous laugh
Dragnet clumsy romantic thought, dissolves underneath a boring tounge
Pupils wide, with little inside, a friendship born of a dying keg
So what hangs on your walls, when they start to breathe?
Or is your idea of shit and puke some retro-dance that's the thing to do yeah
Libation loosens thought, small talk undressing strangers
Coitus next, nothing to say, an empty kiss, a breach of trust
Erotica lost, a beer soaked thrust, forgetting names then losing count
Apathetic consent, a flaccid mount, is all you know of passion and lust
Is this your excuse for watered down come, try to fuck your friends when you have none
A media-molded tact and reason, a different disease for every season, right
Do you know how to laugh, do you know how to scream?
I've got a lethal suggestion, aimed at a dead-beat generation
We're gonna need a drink of elixer considerably stronger than beer
And if we dance without direction, let us dance until we die!
Bop and ska and jive and jump, go-go jissom twist, an orgasmic bump
Jump and jive and ska and bop, try a junky swing, a heroin hop
Jive and jump and bop and ska, it's a Burrough's town, loose the prudish frown
Ska and bop and jump and jive, it's amazing that we're still alive!
Bop and ska and jump and jive
Bop and ska and jump and jive
Bop and ska and jump and jive
Bop and ska and jump and jive
Bop and ska and jump and jive
Bop and ska and jump and jive
Bop and ska and jump and jive
For Finbar
My buddy Zeke is my buddy's freak and he's about to pop out in about a week
When Zeke popped out, nurse slapped him-whack- that good ol' boy done slapped her back
When Zekes around, you'll know it's him by his funky walk and his upside grin
Carvin' his name in all the doors, spittin up his slurpee all over the floor
Flickin' them boogers up off the wall his poop is art, hangin in the hall
Zekes favorite food, if you please is uncooked gravel and cottage cheese
a fish a fish whoa no no no...ain't got no biz
Red and Yellow one swim on the top
blue and black one get down on the bottom
Whenever they take him out to eat, spittin up his food, onto my seat
The boy's got sghetti comin out his nose, sports Joey's cheecks, Irish as a rose
On his high chair he juggles jello at one-foot-three, he's a very fine fellow
a fish a fish yeah yeah yeah yeah
Red and Yellow one swim on the top
blue and black one get down on the bottom
Rotund mushtahed with a baseball cap, throwin green beans up at his pap
The little man love his prune cake bread, paint his sister blue from toe to head
Dancin around, arms in the air, holdin a plate with a donut there
Paisely pooper, custom chocolate swirl
...but what if Zeke turns out to be a girl...
Flyin' Ed
Security, it's a desperate pledge
You always said she looks like bravery
(but) she looks like torture
penned up against your pendulum dreams
While she's searching for what should be
Flyin' Ed move out west have an addiction the size of Texas
Ed, move out west have an addiction the size of Texas
Real, leaning back against the sky dissolving the world
underneath our tounges, she was mumbling something about
an airconditioned nightmare, so check it out
Feels soft and quick
Flyin' Ed move out west have an addiction the size of Texas
Ed, move out west have an addiction the size of Texas
And this type of harness
I spell it as I see it
And watch a well plotted
love waste it's energies on you
Now she's further than miles could be
Flyin' Ed move out west have an addiction he size of of Texas
Ed, move out west have an addiction the size of Texas
Rousing Theme Music
Boy meets girl
Boy falls in love with girl
Boy runs over girl in the driveway
At the funeral, boy falls in love with a 90 year old yiddish man
Maybe She Should Be Quarantined
I've seen her Blood burning up the moon
lighting a fire under deceptively useless things
"close your eyes shut up" she says
"now is no longer a failing regime"
But future leaks green in her eyes
Sacrificing ideas to make her artwork last
Gliding between passion and submission
She says there's no hope for iconoclasts
Art can no longer satisfy soul hunger
Art is now for cash
She's still beautiful to me
reflecting what she doesn't soak in
like algae or zoo plankton
she's feeling passion when
she hopes she's just what she should be
and somewhere out there is a bigger hand
that says she believes
She's beautiful and she's clean
maybe she should be quarantined
or can she swing from the corporate tree
can she swing for-
Maybe I don't want to lose her to this mechanical reflex world
and what she hasn't done isn't done
this may seem selfish and I know it is absurd
but nothing grows in corporate gardens I'm sure
I'm no martyr for security
maybe just a sideshow then
that relieves the pitch and waits for the dawn
or gives in as idealism's victim
and somewhere out there is a bigger hand
that says he believes
She's beautiful and she's clean
maybe she should be quarantined
or can she swing from the corporate being
can she swing for me?
Art No. 24
Small boy Andy Manson in whippet shoppe
Selling nitrous oxide for a living
Going out to his shop to seek out escape
those whippits and the visions that they're bringing
We saw tie-dyes and incense as we went inside
boy and that place is really way out
But every time we put those whippets in our lungs
they make us jump around like horny cub scouts
We're inhaling and we're whiffing up
Turning round and round
sucking and we're sniffing
turning upside down
Boppin' and a whoppin to the music we play
It's a chore to even talk
And all the time the sound is running in our heads
going thwok thwok thwok......
These whippits feel really good inside our heads
they make us dance in circles and in squares
I forgot the way to spell my name last week
We got more nitrous so I just don't care
I Like Cows
I like cows but not to eat them
I like cows I like to greet them
Cows are fun
You shouldn't put em on a hamburger bun
Or on the grill in your back yard
Or on the grill on your car
I like cows
I like cows
They don't have feathers
I like cows
But not tanned leather
Cows say moo
you shouldn't turn 'em into paste or glue
Or put 'em on your dinning room chair
Or cook 'em up 'til they're medium rare
I like cows
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