Lyrics- Oh I Do Hope It's Roast Beef
Oh I Do Hope It's Roast Beef!
Madame Blavatsky
Smiling upwards with my feet planted
Feeling nice, Just a little slanted
I would show you the respect that's due
If I could just get my hands on you
But the world's off kilter, So I dance like it
Stumbling through its dull points and flashes
Yen is mine and I think I can make it
But you can't save me from someone else
just to take me out yourself
Hey Madame Blavatsky
Maybe you could see another side
Hey Madame Blavatsky
Maybe you could see another side
She said "You no longer make me feel"
So I flayed myself and she felt real bad
Said she felt herself somedays
In so many words with nothing to say
I'd be better off dead she said "If the shoe fits...
And if it dosen't we'll find a way
You'd be suprised how it goes down so easy
Think of all fringe benefits, Think of all the money you'll save"
Hey Madame Blavatsky
Maybe you could see another side
Hey Madame Blavatsky
Maybe you could see another side
Into sensitivity and other rackets
We're offering good advice, and you'd better take it
Around here we take boredom in bouts
And there are plenty of ways to put your lights out
Better off dead-- it could be so nice
But we've never made this leap before
We'd be a little less slanted, a liitle less picturesque,
A little less involved with any luck
Hey Madame Blavatsky
Maybe you could see another side
Hey Madame Blavatsky
Maybe you could see another side
Vinnie's Hooch
I never felt like this 'til I went out west and met the guys in Bim
I smoked some of that wicked Vinnie's hooch now I forget where I live
There's a silly little man with a bad haircut
Blabbin on about a Ska Parade
He tells me that I cuss too much
I wish he'd go away
I don't care about jack shit
I just wanna pick my nose
Maybe drool upon myself
Cuz that's the way it goes
We didn't take no petrified rocks and we aint got no fruit flies
Our van is void of Mexicans believe me I would not lie
Sang with the Skeletones at the Belly-up, Hepcat in L.A.
Got wacked in the knee by a blind trombone, he apologized so it's okay
I don't care about jack shit
I just wanna pick my nose
Maybe drool upon myself
Cuz that's the way it goes
When the sun too bright put on my blue blockers
Put cream in your coffee like a pair of squirting knockers
I'm a real hot dog I'm a Hebrew National
I can freak you out, watch you get irrational
Love the Col. sanders, I'm a barnyard pimp
Cut your head all up with the drummer's boom bip
Gimmie two bisquits, want my chicken, extra crispy
Hes a trout, or a fiend, but to Harvey, hes the Quispy
Capcom bowling, watch me rolla perfect score
Dealin with the day job, like Data has his Lore
Corn fed, Mountian bred, I love the women of Kentucky
While I'm dissin all the Herbs, free lunch at the Stuckey's
I'm fillin up my platter, my plate, I'll eat like Dylan
Then fart like Krone, he's the flatulence villian
Why do I talk so fast its because I'm buggin out
If I needed more money hafta get a paper route
It's because I'ma jonesin for a taste of the Hooch
The kind bud from the vin greener than a dead pooch
Or a poodle, a doodle, spitmeup a double dribble
On my lap, LSAT never evr get the clap
A chia-pet pipe, red stink fuzzy ripe
From the bald headed man from Boston with the bone
And the 'erb-get so high- and theres nobody home
Grunt like a caveman from a joint filled bong
Gettin primitive like the way of the pong
I want the hooch, the hooch, "four on the floor chooch"
Make the schmuddy bhuddy, with the higglypiggly mix
Mean man on the tempest, and the centipede and qix
I want the hooch, the hooch, love the vinnies hooch
I want the hooch give-me-the-hooch
I want the hooch
If I Didn't Have a Goiter
So you came up to me at the end of the night
I stay in profile and keep out of the light
I'd like to meet your gaze and face you straight on.
But there's something in my features that's very very wrong
If I seem a tad evasive, or preoccupied
I'll put it to you straight, I'd be in trouble if I lied
Any further chance of congress will prob'ly be wrecked
But I'll tell you the truth, and darn me to heck
There's a lump like a casaba melon stuck on my neck
If I didn't have a goiter, I'd ask you out
If I didn't have a goiter, I wouldn't wear these turtlenecks
If I didn't have a goiter, I wouldn't be quite so vexed
If I didn't have a goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter
So you got the beer goggles and you're not walking right
But you'd have to be blind not to notice this sight
I lay on my side whenever I go to bed
Cause this thing is like havin' me a second head
People point and stare whenever I ride the bus
At my glandular pi�ata that is chock full of pus
Another couple seconds you'll find out and be gone
Guess I'll never get a chanec to make that special bond
Cause my thyroid seats 4 with room for carry-on
If I didn't have a goiter, I'd ask you out
If I didn't have a goiter, I wouldn't wear these turtlenecks
If I didn't have a goiter, I wouldn't be quite so vexed
If I didn't have a goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter
You seen my defect but you're still hangin' round
And suddenly my chances are goin' up instead of down
I got the feeling you and I are sharing the night
And the reason I know everything is alright
Is cause now I see that you have got the elephantitis
If I didn't have a goiter, I'd ask you out
If I didn't have a goiter, I wouldn't wear these turtlenecks
If I didn't have a goiter, I wouldn't be quite so vexed
If I didn't have a goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter, goiter
Bitch Stole My Hat
She walked on in, cheeks red from the cold
Innocent sky blue eyes, white snow flakes was melting in her hair
I saw her smiling, yet it smelled of some greed
I fell to the floor, sweat dripping from my brow
She done left, she took what she wanted, but I'll never know why because-
Bitch stole my hat, stole my hat, stole my fuckin' hat
Bitch stole my hat and she wont give it back
Bitch stole my hat, stole mt hat, stole my mother fuckin' hat
Bitch stole my hat, stole my hat, stole my fuckin' hat
Bitch stole my hat and she wont give it back
Bitch stole my hat, stole mt hat, stole my mother fuckin' hat
(I'm gonna kick the bitch's ass!)
Tiara wearin' turd, queen thievery
Swipes the coonskin derby that's my creation
Kid-nap my cap hazardous occupation
Gig money gone to larceny
You drink four beers then you start to steal
(You) slip it off my head, kiss my cheek; seduction
Dressing room bare, stocking cap abduction
The way I'm thinkin' is yer my next meal
Remove my lid, cuz on yer head I will dine
I'm gonna skin you alive!
Bitch stole my hat, stole my hat, stole my fuckin' hat
Bitch stole my hat and she wont give it back
Bitch stole my hat, stole mt hat, stole my mother fuckin' hat
Bitch stole my hat, stole my hat, stole my fuckin' hat
Bitch stole my hat and she wont give it back
Bitch stole my hat, stole mt hat, stole my mother fuckin' hat
Thirty-six, ninety-nine is what I paid
I see you snake my favorite tuk
Drop the fez now or I piss in your face
You got no respect for property and place
Princess raised, daddy's spoiled greedy little brat
You ask why I'm dark- cuz the bitch stole my hat
(Now) you ask yourself "Why you gotta use that word?"
Five finger discount on a hat that's not yours
Catch a brick, eat my shit, you fuck, you cur
I assure I only use it when it's rightly deserved
When the Bough Breaks
Wind up here is getting stiff
Hits the branches, sends them adrift
The cradle rocks, the cradle sways
Sends the baby into a nauseous daze
Who sets a bassinet up in a tree?
That's one for you my friend, not for me.
Here comes that creaking, cracking sound
As every single thing comes tumbling down
When the bough breaks I only hope I got a nice soft place to fall
I hope it's quiet, and there's nobody there to hear my feeble call
When the bough breaks, the branch's not the only thing thats gonna go
If I'm still concious, I'll pick the pieces up and slowly stumble home
Branches click like castanets
Like a box of Milkbones that's been upset
Everyone stands thunderstruck
Too late the firestation sends a truck
People stand around dumb with fright
Cover childrens' eyes, prevent the sight
Unwilling acrobat, unlikely trapeeze
When the bough breaks I only hope I got a nice soft place to fall
I hope it's quiet, and there's nobody there to hear my feeble call
When the bough breaks, the branch's not the only thing thats gonna go
If I'm still concious, I'll pick the pieces up and slowly stumble home
Long Live the Dead Guy
Vladimir Lenin had a stoic jaw line
But he got very bored of that and this
He got bored of the old folks and their troubles
Then he got bored stiff of rigormortis
Vlad had a bad cold and he sneezed
His union preserved him but his mother knew
No matter how hard you kick the bucket son,
It will survive you
...and the people roared
"Long live the dead guy!"
He's had a great life and I want my slice
...and the people roared
"Long live the dead guy!"
He's had a great life and I want my slice
If the guards aren't watching I'll get a piece to call mine
Cause he looks so nice in double-breasted formaldehyde
Like Dionysus or Jesus Christ
Very good looking and great with rice
We rushed passed the guards as we were on the make
It was Vlad under glass-- there was nothing to take
We went home disappointed and baked a cake
In the likeness of Vlad and we ate and we ate
...and the people roared
"Long live the dead guy!"
He's had a great life
and I want my slice
...and the people roared
"Long live the dead guy!"
He's had a great life and I want my slice
Vlad had a gift for luck of action
He had violence in frowns and a nice green suit
Saw-dust for a heart and a formaldehyde brain
But the envy of everyone just the same
He put it to the czar and his family
With grace of genius and executioner's style
His friend and his comrades they all knew
They needed a great one and he would do
...and the people roared
"Long live the dead guy!"
He's had a great life
and I want my slice
...and the people roared
"Long live the dead guy!"
He's had a great life and I want my slice
Boots to Ya' Momma
Lemmie put the boots to ya mama
You got the socket that fits my wrench
Lemmie put the boots to ya mama
Buffy and Jody and Mister French
Lemmie put the boots to ya mama
Your pipes got clogged so you called the Roto-Rooter
Lemmie put the boots to ya mama
Sherriff Roscoe's smilin' cause he caught some crazy cooter
Lemmie put the boots to ya mama
You gotta run uptown to flip that frown
Lemmie put the boots to ya mama
Lemmie put the boots to ya mama
Cap'n Kirk & Cap'n Crunch and the Socko horns pithy punch
Lemmie put the boots to ya mama
Lemmie put the boots to ya mama
Lay Dick Van Patten in sheets of satin
Lemmie put the boots to ya mama
Pay heed to the clogs and doff them togs
Lemmie put the boots to ya mama
The elves snuck in my cobbler's shop and busted me some treats
But the boots they left is not the kind that you puts on your feets
Our life was made for living, I believe in living phat
These boots ain't made for walkin' I can guarentee you that
There really ain't no need for you to go round feelin' taxed
It's just me, the boy, and our two droids and no questions asked
So sit on back, relax and listen to these beats
whilst I commence to perform my podiatrical feats
Back to the Socko Music Page!