Section 2 To combat the Flab

Part 1: what the current trends are to combat fat. And what’s wrong with them.

Low Fat diet: Don’t’ get me started. I’ve been raving in a mildly animated fashion for the last few pages. My blood pressure is higher than the obesity levels in this country, and my heart is beating faster than when Robert Downey Jr. goes in and out of rehab.

Low Carb Diet: Atkins, No carb…you name it…it’s the next thing. However, although it may seem that I advocate this as well, and I kind of do after all it’s a step in the right direction and its better than excluding fat. But, it still isn’t the answer. Ketogenesis will happen, and you’ll lose fat. HURRAY! After a while, Ketoneacidosis will set in. HURRAY? If you had ketoneacidosis, that last thing you’d say is hurray. Ketone bodies float in your blood remember if you lose fat? Remember? Well, bad news is that there is only a set level of ketone bodies the body can use in a single day because the human body has always needed fat and to get rid of it is folly. So ketone bodies build ups in the blood stream, and here’s the next thing. Ketone bodies are extremely acidic. So one day you’re eating bacon with a side of egg and the next thing you know, you’re on your back, like a doomed tortoise, breathing your last breaths, like a doomed tortoise. Headaches, Ketone breath, urinary problems all are symptoms. Glucogenesis also happens. Your muscles break down and you piss away your hard work at the gym. This happens because the glucose levels are at all new lows and the body compensates by deriving it from the chemically akin sarcoplasmic muscle tissues.

Starve: Well…you’ll lose weight. Most of it water and muscle. Remember if you lose all the fat on your body, you’ll instantly die because you won’t have a brain or nerves for that matter. So you’ll go thin for a while…then you’ll die. As in soon. Also, you’ll die an obese [fool]. All anorexic people who die have a fat percentage of 25%, (put this into perspective, I ain’t no athlete, but I’m still 6.5%.  If you ever saw a guy with 20% body fat, you’d think twice before getting into an elevator with them. Just thought you’d want perspective. ) which is technically: Very obese.

Calorie Restriction: well this actually works. Especially if you minus most of the calories from carbohydrates. Thos bodybuilders were onto something and they’ve stuck to it, and face it. They may no be the most aesthetic of people, but they have molecule thin skin and the fat levels of a leaf of spinach. Basically to do this successfully minus about 200 calories from your present diet for 5 days of a week and resume your diet on the weekend. Then do that for a while and minus another 200 calories. And so on…don’t’ worry it’ll work, although you’ll often find yourself in the zone raiding the fridge with the efficiency of an Olympic athlete. A Hungry emaciated Olympic athlete. All seriousness aside, this works…but it ain’t the best solution.

Part 2: My method and why it works

Circadian rhythm dictates that the metabolism is at a whole new high at about 2 pm to 7 pm. So if carbs should be restricted (1.4 grams per kilo of muscle mass is perfect) then when should we restrict it properly? So we want Ketogenesis to happen at noon about. And we want to get some carbs in as well for sleep reasons and a sense of wellbeing.

So here’s my scoop: eat a low carbohydrate breakfast, no carbohydrate lunch, moderately high carbohydrate dinner. This is a bit dangerous so you’re going to have to add a little carbohydrate the closer you get to your desired weight. Whilst I do not advocate Lo carbohydrate, my research prompts me to believe that this is the prefect eating program as its most balanced, and best of all because it teaches the digestive system to once again utilizes fat in all its GLORY! You don’t even have to stick to it every day. You can even pig out on chocolate the size of an apple, or you can eat Neapolitan if you want. Provided you don’ do it everyday. On other diets, you would stop and gain weight again, and lose it again with hard work…stupid. Just stick with me son. You’re going to be alright.

Breakfast: Bacon eggs, muffin or toast sausage and eggs, or omelet. Use your imaginations something along the lines

Lunch: No carbohydrates. Mostly protein and fat. Salami and cheese fit the bill. (Sexual innuendos are priceless.) Other cold meats. Just read labels and look for the no carbohydrate stuff. Or use those faddy no-carb foods that are beginning to catch hold.

Dinner: Roast meat or Asian dishes (skimp on rice if you can…rice sucks). Salad and other carbohydrates.

The idea is to begin the insulin sensitivity stage in the morning. When the metabolism is at its peak, we go ketogenic, and we lose the flab. You can expect about 100 grams burnt each day, if you stick to this strictly. But if you’re no Spartan, don’t expect colossal gains okay? (Or losses for that matter.) At dinner, we stop the fat burning, so our bodies don’t’ go crazy and devour up our precious muscles. It’s all good!

"But Mr. Edward, what about cholesterol?"

"You'll just have to wait for the next part!"