9/29/2000
Why is it usually called a cat but if it's black with a white stripe, it's called a skunk?
Why did my executive staff freak out when I lunged for the striped critter?
9/29/2000
Why doesn't my executive staff figure out to go around the poles the same way I do rather than make me backtrack to untangle the leash?
9/29/2000
How come my end of the leash attaches to my neck and my executive staff's end connects to his hand? I honestly think he'd follow better if his end of the leash was also around his neck.
9/29/2000
What is "fixed" and why do some of the older dogs shudder when they hear that word?
9/29/2000
Who the heck are Timmy and Lassie and what is wrong with Timmy that he falls down the well so much?
10/31/2000 - Halloween
Why do people keep coming to the door but the staff won't let them in?
10/31/2000 - Halloween
If I ring the doorbell at night, will the staff throw treats out to me?
11/2/2000
If I can't dig holes in the garden or in the lawn, just where am I supposed to practice my excavating?
11/2/2000
Why does the staff get upset with me when the rope goes slicing through the garden plants?
12/5/2000
How did that snow turn yellow? It was white just before I started peeing over here! Is this natural?
12/5/2000
Why did the staff snicker when I suggested the honor system regarding the dog treats?
12/20/2000
When did we get the indoor tree? Why can't I pee on it?
6/18/2001
Explain this camping thing to me, again and why don't I have an air mattress and a sleeping bag?
6/18/2001
What's that noise? Who goes there? I'm not sure I like camping at night. Can we go home?
8/20/2001
Do I really have to get back in the car? I don't care how far Maine is, I'm getting tired of all this laying around while you drive.
8/20/2001
Okay. I'm bored. Can I drive now? I'm pretty certain I can't do much worse.
8/21/2001
Why is this Duc character always dressed in yellow? Is it to hide the pee stains when us "mutts and mongrels" get even for his little comments.
10/14/2001
Where are they!? I had them when I came to the vet's before you drugged me!!! I want a lawyer!!!
10/15/2001
I can't believe he had them cut off.... I mean, really....how can one guy do THAT to another guy?? Can anybody recommend a good lawyer and hit man?
3/19/2002
Why did the staff snap at me when I wished him a Happy 41st Birthday? What did he mean when he said that moved him into a whole new demographic group? Why was he so grouchy?
8/15/2003
What's a shark look like? I was followed by something when I was heading out of the water while swimming.
8/15/2003
So I'm not Jacques Cousteau. How was I supposed to know that my tail dragging in the water is not a shark chasing me? You'd miss me if I was eaten by one of those fish.
4/2/2004
What's the difference between "deadbeat" and "retired" in human? The staff insists he's retired but when he's out of the room other people use the term "deadbeat."
8/2/2004
I was just going some math and realized that I'm now over the drinking age and have been for some time. Can I have a margarita now? It would really help on these hot days. And it would really help me deal with the staff on all the other days as well.