THE PEOPLE IN MY CLASSES ARE IDIOTS

There's this fat redneck piece of shit in one of my classes who's stupid and smells like moldy cheese. He (as well as every person who he converse with) pisses me off to the point where I want to smash my fucking computer over top of his huge fat head. This group of retards always sit around in class doing no work, talk all the fucking time, distract those who are trying to do their work, and fart when the teachers in the middle of presenting something, after which they high five each other like they're these bigshots or something.

Getting back to this stupid piece of shit of a redneck, he's the fattest thing that ever walked this earth. He talks like he's retarded or something (probably is), always talks on and on about four wheeling for some dumbass reason, and he always has this glazed over look on his face, like he's trying his hardest not to choke on his drool all the fucking time (either that or he's always taking a satisfying shit, you know, the kind of shit that you've been holding in for hours and finally get to release when you get to a bathroom). As if that wasn't bad enough, he smells like he shit himself twenty times and still never took a shower. His god awful stench is enough to make a frenchman throw up. I had to stand behind him one time because I was waiting to ask the teacher something urgent and he was talking to him first (no doubt it was about something of very little importance). I stood behind him for a grand total of two minutes, during that time I tried my hardest to keep my lunch down. It was the most rank thing I ever had to endure. He's a useless human being with a personality of a cucumber, smell of a rotting cabbage, and physical appearance of a pumpkin. I don't have a picture of him (thank god) so I decided to draw a picture of him so you'd get the basic idea of what he looks like.

I'd say that we eat him so he'd at least be put to good use but I doubt anyone would like to sample the aroma of baked donkey shit.

There was another time when I was sitting down minding my own business when this fat bastard comes up to the computer next to me (that happened to be playing a type of music that I liked) and said "this is gay", to which he turned it off and turned on extremely shitty country (being all songs in the country genre). I hate country. Stupid fucking rednecks. Hell, even as I write this, those bastards have their shitty country music blaring. Of course, I'm not allowed to complain about it out loud because I'm supposed to be considerate of other people's taste and opinions. Fuck that. No one is considerate of MY tastes and opinions. Why should I respect theirs? Maybe they should respect my opinion, which would be if they don't turn that shit off and turn on something that doesn't sound like someone pissing out a marble then I'm gonna impale them with any object I can see. Jesus christ, I think I'm going to throw up. (added note, the fat piece of shit called Metallica and Linkin Park "gay")

There are times in class when these idiots fart out loud and laugh their asses off. Even when the teacher is trying to teach something and constantly get interrupted by the sound of redneck flatulance. The thing that these bastards don't realize is that farting in class is an art. You can't just fart out and think it's funny. There are certain rules that you have to consider first:

1) YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH SBD'S BUT THEY'RE STILL FUNNY---SBD stands for "Silent But Deadly". These would be farts that last a while, but no one can hear them coming out. These farts stink like the worst smelling shit you will ever encounter and can be hilarious as hell (For an added effect, make sure you don't have a bowel movement for three days). These are mostly used for revenge, when you want someone to face your wrath without them knowing who did it (These would also be known as the Ninjas of farts). The idiots in my class pissed me off so much (shitty music, loud obnoxious laughing, disobedient little shits, you can't blame me) that I decided to let one as I walked by them. The smell hit them and they spent the majority of the class blaming each other for it. It's times like these that make me happy to know I can shoot air through my ass.

2) DON'T HIGH FIVE YOUR REDNECK BUDDIES AFTER YOU LET ONE OUT---I don't know if this should be a rule, but it sure as fuck pisses me off.

3) RESEERVE FARTING FOR TIMES WHEN NO ONE HAS TO WORK OR LISTEN TO THE TEACHER GIVE INSTRUCTIONS---It's inconsiderate to distract people when they're trying to get an education. You want to practice your ability to emit gas from your colon, do it on your own time.

4) FARTING BETWEEN ONLY TWO PEOPLE IS ACCEPTABLE---I was told a story about a friend of mine and his friend farting in the middle of french class. My friend's friend farted so much he shit his pants and had to go to the bathroom. On his way out of the classroom he struggled to walk in a manner that wouldn't cause it to run down his pants. The teacher asked him to stand up straight and he prayed to god the whole way towards the door. When he came back from the bathroom he was carrying his soiled boxers in a plastic bag. These girls were laughing at him so he held the bag over to them and opened it up right in front of them. It was the funniest fucking thing I ever heard.

5) I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE RULES ANYMORE. I'M GOING TO GO DO SOMETHING ELSE.

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