For Immediate Release

Jeremy, seen here in his Spiderman costume, is dangerously delusional, according to the U.N. Council on Wacked-Out Superhero Wannabees.
Photo not at all courteous.

SALT LAKE CITY, Utah -- "Yikes!"
"It's a bird... It's a plane... No, it's a dude in tights!"
"Bring back the fro-wig. Please!"

Once again, Jeremy Seeley has shocked the world with his hysterical and delusional antics, it was announced by a deranged Seeley in Spiderman tights. For the past few weeks, Seeley has been spotted attacking criminals and innocent bystanders alike. Saturday, he was seen swinging from a tree branch in Salt Lake's Liberty Park. He allegedly screamed something about truth and justice, but this allegation is considered shaky at best as it is an obvious reference to DC Comics and Spiderman is a Marvel comic.

It is believed that Seeley's latest delusional fit was brought on by his screening of the movie "Spider-man 2." Seeley underwent a similar degredation in mental stability after the first Spider-man movie.

"After the first Spider-man movie, we had to break out the riot gear and bean-bag bullets," said Officer Gnotue Miranda of the Logan City Police Department. "That nutcase kept scaring old ladies and little children by swinging off dumpsters, short stairways and anything else of a non-fatal height."

Unfortunately, the reaction to the sequel exceeded expectations and spilled over into every aspect of Seeley's life.

According to a Utah Department of Workforce Services spokesperson, Seeley came to work three days in a row with his tights on under his business casual attire.

Even Seeley's stalker was taken aback. "So, I'm a stalker and I'm pretty crazy," she said on the condition that her identity remain secret, "But Jeremy is just crazy. I was a bit turned off by the tights bit, but he won me back with his dreamy eyes. I'll be his Mary Jane Watson if he wants. (sigh) He's mine, so stay away."

"This new bout far exceeds that of the previous movie, because this movie was superior," said Amoof Eacritic. "When a movie really speaks to the audience it's a beautiful thing. I guess in this case, the movie may still be speaking to Jeremy and telling him to do bad things. Two thumbs way up, except on the tights."

The Whitehouse sent out a release Monday denying that Seeley's tights could be one of Sadam Hussein's missing weapons of mass destruction.

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