Watch Out For Rogue Cartoons

I grew up watching cartoons. Road Runner always evaded the coyote. Miss Piggy was always rude, but still loved Kermit. Mickey Mouse always made things right. These were constants in my young life. Things change�.

Someone beat up Cookie Monster. I thought it was a joke, but the Associated Press wired the story to newspapers all over the country. Apparently, Cookie monster started the fight by repeatedly shoving the man�s daughter. Did the little girl steal you cookies? I don�t think so. A student at the Citadel went to Sesame Place, a theme park in Pennsylvania, and beat up a girl dressed as the blue, sweet-toothed Muppet.

This raises a big issue. If we can�t be at peace with Sesame Street, how can we be at peace with each other? After all, if this violence continues, who knows what the future will bring? Donald Duck in a WWF Smack Down cage match with Daffy�who�s the real duck champ? That�s one way to compete for television market share.

If you watch HBO pay-per-view boxing expect this on the next heavyweight ticket: Barney v. Big Bird. Who wouldn�t pay $30 to watch Barney bite off a piece of Big Bird�s ear?

Coming to theatres near you�Muppets Take Afghanistan. The military has been using stem-cell research to develop an army of killer Elmo drones. It is a force matched only by the other top-secret weapon, Navy Seal Camouflage-Grover with Rambo bandana and combat knife.

Degeneration of the traditional home in America will surely lead to problems. Imagine Bugs Bunny and his homeboys Tweedy and Foghorn shooting up housing projects in Compton, Calif. Watch your back, Minnie. The Cat in the Hat gets busted for dealing crack near Times Square. Dr. Seuss and drugs don�t mix, kids.

I hear a lot about violence in the media affecting impressionable children. What about violent, maniac parents who beat up Sesame Street characters. Even worse, maniac Cookie Monsters who beat up kids. Honestly, what would have a greater effect on a child�s impressionable mind? A coyote falling off a cliff is child�s play.