A really funny story (that just happens to be true).
* Name changed so I don't PO any parents. Y'all know how it is...
Long ago (about a year or so) in a far away land (Huron) I was traveling on a pilgrimage with my people (we were going to a party).  We took a caravan (It actually was a Dodge Caravan) over a hill and just as we were going down, gravity set in and put us a whopping two miles over the allotted speed limit.  Just as we sped up, a mean monster (*cough* SHERIDAN *cough*) pulled us over.  He came up to the driver's side window where my friend *Shawn was seated behind the wheel.  Here is the dialogue from that point on:
Sheridan: Do you know what I pulled you over for?

Shawn: No.. do you?

Sheridan: Yes, I know.

Shawn: Okay then.. just so one of us does.

Sheridan: Do you have any idea what the speed limit is here?

Shawn: It's 55.

Sheridan: Do you know how fast you were going?

Shawn:  No.

Sheridan: So I can just put whatver I want down on the ticket?

Shawn: Go ahead, dickhead.  How fast was I going?

Sheridan:  58.

Everyone in the car:  OH GOD NO!

Sheridan: SHUT UP IF I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU! Now,  Shawn.. what's your excuse for speeding?

Shawn: Well, officer, I was bending over to pick up my bag of crack and my gun fell out of my lap, lodging itself between the brake and the gas pedal causing me to speed (wild hand motions) crazy out of control.

Sheridan: Very funny.  Where do you work?

Shawn: Why does it matter?

Sheridan:  Because I can suggest a random drug test.

Shawn: I'm a rectum stretcher. We start out with small stuff and stretch rectums until they're up to six feet big.

Sheridan: Is that so?

Shawn: Yea.. you know what you do with  a six-foot @$$hole?

Sheridan: What?

Shawn: You park it by a hill with a radar gun.
And that's the good part of the story. The rest is boring.  Laterz!
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