| Oh the trouble with the truth Is it's always the same ol' thing So hard to forget, so impossible for me to change Everytime I try to fight it I know I'll be left to blame Oh the trouble with the truth Is it's always the same ol' thing |
| Mom, I wrote this for you because there's so much stuff that was either said or not said in the past eighteen years of my life that I'm feeling kind of guilty about. The first is that I never hated you. The second is that, while I acted like I was appalled at your country music blaring from the kitchen, I really didn't mind all that much. I'll tell you the rest with some help from Patty Loveless and her son, "The Trouble With The Truth": |
| And the trouble with the truth Is it just won't let me rest I run and hide, but there's always another test And I know that it won't let me be 'Till I've given it my best The trouble with the truth Is it just won't let me rest |
| It had ruined the taste of the sweetest lies Burned through my best alibis Every sin that I deny Keeps hanging round my door Oh the trouble with the truth Is it always begs for more That's the trouble, trouble with the truth That's the trouble, trouble with the truth |
| And the trouble with the truth Is it's just what I need to hear Ringing so right, deep down inside my ear And it's everything I want And it's everything I fear Oh the trouble with the truth Is it's just what I need to hear |
| I've done a lot of rotten stuff in my life, and I don't think you know about all of it. I could tell you things that would chill you to the bone at the thought of them happening to your little girl, but I won't go into detail because I love you (regardless of anything I've ever said before) and don't want you to worry about things you should have done. There's nothing you could have done to change any of the stupid mistakes I've made. That's just me. None of what's happened in my life is your fault. |
| As I'm sure you've been told by now, I never felt loved when I was little- this isn't your fault either. I've been doing some research and the only solution I've come up with is an emotional disorder caused by any sort of traumatic event in the early years of a child's life. I can pinpoint that event, but I'm sure you can't. It's okay, though, I've come to peace with it and moved on. Things are going to be different now and I'm sorry for everything I've put you, daddy, and my siblings through. I love all of you guys. |
| I've realized now that lying gets you nowhere. Mom- I don't want you to be hurt by this, that's not why I'm saying anything- I just want you to know. I used to deny having a mother. I'd tell people I lived with a single dad because as far as I was concerned you didn't exist. That was a terrible thing of me to do and I'm not sure why I directed all of my anger at you- I just did. I'm so sorry. I love you very much and am proud to say I'm your daughter. |
| From here on out, I'm going to be a better person. I'm going to prove myself to everyone that has ever doubted me. Everyone that has ever thrown me to the side or said I wouldn't make it in the world. I don't have to prove anything to you, though, because you knew all along. |
| Thanks for sticking with me. I love you. God Bless you. I'm proud of you. Your daughter, Jennifer |
| A note to my mother |