Date: 22 April 2004
Location: Maseru, Lesotho
Re: It's Been Awhile...
HOW I SPENT MY EASTER:
I was in a little bit of a funk and had decided to spend some quality sober Jennifer-time in my hut to hopefully alleviate some of the ever-present anxiety I have been feeling about reenetering America. But then the crew came up who were taking a hike from Sehlabathebe to Sani Pass, and the next thing I knew, I was strapped into my 35lb. pack and was sucking air. Unprepared? Completely. I lost all pride ten minutes into the hike when I quickly discovered that I am not the bad ass that you all know me to be (haha). As a bird flies, the trek is 48 km, but I haven't grown wings, and there are a whole lot of mountains to go up and down in between. We got lost in fog. We followed a map that showed trails, but there were none. We climbed a 3,282m pass and 90% up, it was dark and we were having to rock climb, so we (7) spent the night on a 6x4 sloped flower pot. Most of the night was spent jumping back up out of the creek in our sleeping bags. But sure enough we made it to Sani Top where cold draft beer and warm cooked food awaited us. And I am SO HAPPY that I got talked into going. It satisfied all of the mountaineering cliches and reenergized me. It was so nice to feel like I was simply away in the mountains with 6 buddies, out of the reach of Peace Corps. It was a once in a lifetime adventure and I will never ever forget it. I can't wait to share my pictures with you all!.
WHAT MY POST PEACE CORPS PLANS ARE:
I am thinking in three directions, and they are not as of yet prioritized. 1: I am applying to socially conscious venture capital firms in the United States. I have a favorite firm in Portland, Maine, but am also looking in other small cities. 2: I am interested in international micro-finance, especially in the Pacific and SE Asia. 3: (very few of you are going to like this) I have applied for a third year Peace Corps stint in Sierra Leone. I was originally interested in the Pacific, but Bush's new PC budget won't let us change regions, and the only place in Africa that I am really excited about at this point for Peace Corps is Sierra Leone. It is highly unlikely because I am being picky about dates and jobs and such, but I will keep you updated.
My Close of Service workshop is next week. I thought I would feel very emotional about it and be going through this "how did it go so fast?" phase, but instead, I am feeling more ready every day to move on. I plan on sticking around Lesotho until the beginning of August, and then will travel for a month. I would love to go to Ethiopia, but none of my friends here can go when I can and I don't feel comfortable doing it alone (anyone interested?). Otherwise, I am looking into western Africa (Ghana, Togo, Benin) or Adam is doing a Uganda/Rwanda trip that intrigues me. So really, I don't know yet where I am travelling. The important thing is to have time to digest the past two years (or begin digesting anyway) and prepare myself for my reentry.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE:
Things have actually been really really busy. Finally after 21 months, I am getting some real work done and am having a ball. But when I return from my COS workshop, I hope to start handing over the reigns to test how sustainable things are and accomplish my last minute personal goals. I am counselling about 21 businesses, authoring training materials on 9 subjects and am working with a group of tenants who want to start a flea market. It has been more satisfying than anything I have done thus far.
I have befriended some Boers (also known as Afrikaaners) and it is quite a cultural experience. In fact, of all the cultures I haev acquainted myself with through being in Lesotho, I think white South Africans have surprised me the most. I have so many stories to share with you about this, but I'm in a hurry now.
SUMMARY:
Things are good. I am getting stoked about ice and Mt. Dew and steak with Heinz ketchep. And seeing all of you. As I am hitting the 4 month mark, be sure to send your last chance letters - especially those of you from whom I have not heard from even once...you have some explainging to do. I am good on the package front, but it you happen to run across any peanut m&m's or snickers, they are still welcome.
Love and miss you,
Jennifer/Karabo
Date: 6 May 2004
Location: Maseru, Lesotho
Re: Goodbye for now
My COS (close of service) workshop is done, and that is weird but not as weird as I had expected it to be...I am getting more and more ready everyday to leave, although I don't know if that translates into being ready to come home. We talked a lot at our conference about readjusting and the anxieties that are commonly felt amongst RPCV's (get used to that - Returned Peace Corps Volunteer), and all the discussion almost gave me more anxiety. Ultimately, the next three months are going to be focused on three things: 1) finishing up my work; 2) hanging out with Adam; and 3) getting the last of my quiet solitude that I have grown to so love. My official leave daet is 16 August, and I am making plans to fly to Lusaka, Zambia, where I will work my way north and take the oldest working steamer up Lake Tanginika (sp?), then will scrape around Burundi in Tanzania, enter Rwanda and end in Uganda. Sarah is planning on meeting up with me for a bit, so I am really looking forward to sharing some of this emotional transition with someone who has been such a constant in my life, both at home and here.
So I go back to Qacha's Nek today and will likely not have access again until August. I am going hunting in a week!...don't freak out - I am not killing some rare cheetah or lion, but a simply African bresbock game. I am looking forward to the cultural experience of it - hanging out with Boers doing a traditionally Boer activity.
Keep writing. I miss you all and look forward to seeing you soon.
Jennifer
Date: 16 July 2004
Location: ???
Re: Time Is 'a Ticking
I am drafting this on a very cold, very overcast (which is a treasured rarity in winter here), very lonely, very wine-consumed evening. And as I have started the transitions from "frustrated and a good theoretical solution is to leave" toward "I am leaving in 31 days" and have even packed a box to send home, I am sentimental. But scared. What am I coming home to? Bush's America? No jobs? Meetings that I actually have to be on time for? A choice of 20 different kinds of cheese when all I want is a little calcium? So I went (rather leaned - my hut is pretty tiny) over to my bookshelf and pulled out my "goodbye book" - the book many of you wrote in at my going-away party and was supplemented with cute and paste goodbyue emails many of you sent. And I found what I am coming home to: friends that have supported me and loved me throughout this adventure. The words you all wrote to me filled my heart. And though no entry could be singled out as a favorite, Dan's "Ode to the Red Rocket" certained proved the most precise in predicition.
But I must admit, even in the swell of your warm words, I am scared to come home. Having spent two years learning the many ways that I don't fit in in Lesotho, I am scared that I will also feel that I don't fit in in my homeland. I envision many humorous escapades of yelling at perfectly nice people that I don't haev sweets or money to give them, and not remembering how to take a bath without first collecting and boiling water. But the fear is real, and I appeal to you for your support in my readjusting to a fully-functioning American.
But I know that I am ready to leave, and that is half the battle. It's been amazing. But every good book needs a final chapter, and the reader always knows how many pages are left. As a fellow PCV wrote in a letter to me last week: "I"ve loved every minute of my time here, but if one more kids asks me for money or sweets, I fear I might wrip his arms off and beat him with them." Aah...the romance of the developing world.
I leave my site 10 August and leave Lesotho 16 August. I hope to travel for five weeks before retouching American soil, but every time I pick a place to go, the BBC tells me there is new strife there. So I don't know yet exactly where I'll be to transition, to reflect on these two years, and to prepare to be a regular citizen again. But I am coming home - a third year in Peace Corps didn't work out due to budget cuts (Bush = Bombs = Booyah Peace Corps). So have a good job waiting for me - preferrably one similar to what I am used to here (10 hrs./wk) but paying better!
To my fellow RPCVs who have made it home, I hope your transition is going well. I look forward to speaking to you soon. The place is just not the same without you!
Always,
Jenn