Title: Trickster Author: Betty Rating: NC-17 Category: Slash Pairing: Starbuck/Apollo Disclaimer: I don't own them. Distribution: Please let me know where. Feedback: er.br@sympatico.ca Summary: Someone is playing tricks on the warriors, who could it be? Starbuck sat in the stands, wondering what was keeping Apollo. It was playoff season, and they had planned on watching this game together. Apollo had asked Starbuck to save him a seat while he went and took care of something, being very secretive about what he was doing. Now the triad game was about to begin, and Apollo was nowhere in sight. "Oh well, at least one of us will enjoy this match." He mumbled as the two teams came out and waved at the cheering crowd. Boomer and Giles were playing against Bojay and Greenbean, and the odds were on Boomer's team. It seemed that even though both Bojay and Greenbean were very good players, they didn't make a very good team. They just didn't click together very well. Just as Boomer scoured the first point for his team, a smiling Apollo appeared at Starbuck's side. "Well it's about time you showed up. Apollo you do realize we play the winners from this match next secton. What have you been doing?" "Yes, I do know that. Now what would you say if I suggested we go watch this game on a big vid screen, laying naked on a king size waterbed, with a bottle of wine, and no screaming crowd." Apollo whispered in Starbuck's ear. "Why Captain, are you trying to seduce me?" "Could be." The two left the triad stands for more comfortable surroundings. ***** The game ended, with Boomer's team winning, and the players headed for the turbowash. After washing off and dressing they then headed for the lounge for a much needed drink. Boomer was itchy. It seemed his entire body was one big irritation, and he was scratching so bad he feared he would scrap his skin off. Looking up he noticed that Giles, Greenbean and Bojay were all scratching as well. "What in Hades is going on? How come we're all itchy?" He asked the others. "I don't know, but it's driving me crazy." Bojay answered, jumping up and scratching his butt. "That's it, I can't take this anymore. I'm going back to the Galactica and straight to the life center." Giles added, frantically scratching his legs. "Maybe we all caught some strange bug." Greenbean whined, scratching his chest. The four men scratched all the way to the shuttle, all the way to the Galactica, and all the way to the life center. Once there Cassi instructed them to remove their clothes, put on an examination smock, and lay down. Even undressed they seemed to be itchy, but not as bad. Cassi ran a scanner over them and noticed that there seemed to be some kind of residue on their bodies. She picked up the nearest shirt and noticed a white powder on the inside of it. The scanner quickly told her what it was. "Well boys, it seems you are all victims of a practical joke. Someone has put itching powder in your uniforms." ***** In the OC the next afternoon, the warriors were all laughing about the joke played on the triad players. All were trying to guess just who had done it. At first everyone suspected Starbuck, but he was seen in the stands before the game. When it was mentioned that he left with Apollo during the game, everyone then suspected they had done it together, but no they were seen going to the turbolift together, and not again until morning. Athena had a pretty good idea of what they did, and it didn't include itching powder. Starbuck didn't tell anyone how long Apollo and himself were apart before the game. He was busy wondering if Apollo could be the trickster. After all, it doesn't take over a centar to rent a room, does it? ***** In the Commander's quarters Colonel Tigh and Adama were relaxing after a good round of some amazing sex. Snuggling his head against Adama's chest Tigh asked, "Who do you think this joker is Adama, and just what should we do about it?" "Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. It was just a harmless little prank. The four warriors are fine now, with no serious harm done to them, except maybe their pride. And it was funny, seeing them scratching like that, and jumping up and down." Adama laughed as he remembered seeing his men in the lounge the night before. Tigh laughed back, "Yes, it was funny wasn't it?" ***** Athena, Sheba. Brie and Detria all headed for the women's turbowash. It had been a long day and they all felt grubby after work. They placed their towels on the bench and headed in to wash off. They closed their eyes as the warm water washed away the day's dirt and worries. Suddenly Brie was screaming. The other three girls all opened their eyes to see what was wrong. All it took was one look and they started screaming. Someone had set a timer to the ladies turbowash, so that three centons after the warm water was turned on, it changed from water, to red dye. ***** Adama was trying not to laugh at his daughter and the other three women. Standing there with red hair and skin. The dye would not wash off, they had to let it wear off. Which would probably take about two or three sectons. "Look, we are trying to find out who is did this, but we have no leads. I'm sorry, but we have no one who saw anyone near the women's turbowash, except women. Who by the way were themselves having a wash, and none of them had a problem. I don't think it was aimed at you four or any other women in particular. The culprit was just playing a practical joke and you were the ones who happened to be the victims this time." Athena was furious. "I don't see anything practical about this! And I certainly don't think it was a joke. It was a mean, spiteful person who did this, and it's not funny. When I get my hands on him, or her, I'm gonna make them so sorry..." She then stomped out of her father's quarters, hearing his laughter behind her. ***** Starbuck, Boomer, Giles and Bojay entered the men's turbowash. All four had heard what had happened in the women's turbowash, so they were armed with mops. Each used his mop's handle to turn on the water under their showerheads, then stepped back for three centons. When the water stayed water, they each breathed a sigh of relieve and stepped under the warm flow. They soaked down and reached for the shampoo. Just as they were soaping up their hair, they heard a gurgling sound and the water stopped. Looking up they all said at once, "What the hell?" Then suddenly, without warning, liquid honey squirted from the water faucets, completely covering them with it's sticky substance. They all jumped back, screaming. Knocking each other down, getting more covered in the honey that was flowing on the floor. Then suddenly the air ducts were blowing full blast and feathers were flying all over the room. Now the four men were not only covered in honey, but feathers as well. They ran out into the bunk room, and straight into Apollo. The Captain took one look at his junior officers and started laughing. "What happened to you four? You all look like a bunch of chickens." Starbuck screamed, "*What's it look like happened to us? We've been honeyed and feathered*!" Apollo wrapped Starbuck up in a blanket and led him to his quarters. "Come on, Starbuck, you can use my private turbowash." This made Boomer mad, "Hey, what about us? How do we get this stuff off?" "Find a lover with a private turbowash." Starbuck called back. Now that really made Boomer mad. ***** Once he had Starbuck in his quarters, Apollo decided to have some fun. "You know, it might be fun making love to you, covered in all those soft feathers. In fact it does look kinda sexy. What do you say?" "Apollo, you are so kinky sometimes. No wonder I love you." They quickly headed to the bedroom, Apollo shedding his clothes as they went. Starbuck jumped on the bed, making chicken noises and flapping his arms like they were wings. "Lookout little chickie poo, the big bad wolf is coming to get you." Apollo giggled as he pounced on Starbuck. The two men wrestled and tickled each other for the next fifteen centons, some of the honey and feathers getting on Apollo. Then Apollo pinned Starbuck down on the mattress, and kneeled above him. "Time for the wolf to eat the little chickie poo." He evilly grinned down at Starbuck. "Gonna have to pluck the feathers first." Starbuck purred. Looking down Apollo laughed when he saw that Starbuck's hard cock was indeed covered in feathers. Quickly Apollo removed every feather from Starbuck's firm shaft. Then when the last feather was gone, Apollo bent down and started to slowly lick off the honey. Starbuck closed his eyes and moaned as Apollo took him into his mouth, sucking and licking him clean. Both men were so involved with each other that they didn't hear the outer door open. Slowly and quietly the intruder crept to the bedroom door, carrying his heavy load. He was dressed all in black, including a black mask that completely covered his head and face, making identification impossible. Starbuck was moaning constantly, slowly thrusting his hips, trying to get his cock as far into Apollo's mouth as possible. He forced himself to open his eyes, just to see Apollo's mouth on him. What he saw was a black clad figure, standing at the foot of the bed, holding a five gallon bucket. He screamed. Apollo looked up quickly at Starbuck's scream. All he said was, "What?..." As the ice cold water landed on them. Both Apollo and Starbuck jumped off the bed. "Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh that's cold!" They screamed. The unknown intruder ran from the room, snickering. They didn't see him go, they just wanted to get away from the cold wetness. The bed was soaked and covered with ice cubes. Apollo turned and ran to the outer room, only to see the door closing. Starbuck tried to catch Apollo and stop him from running out into the hallway, but he wasn't fast enough. The last thing he saw of Apollo was his bare ass, running out the door. Out in the hallway Apollo looked right and then left. There was no sign of the intruder anywhere. He quickly ran down the hall to next turn off and, turning the corner, ran straight into his father. Adama grabbed Apollo by the shoulders, looked him in the eye and calmly said, "Do you mind telling me just what you think you are doing?" "There... there was... there was someone in my quarters. He threw ice water on us." Adama started to laugh. Apollo just stared at him. "What's so funny? I was enjoying myself. And then Starbuck screams and the next thing I know this ice cold water was washing over us. And before that, poor Starbuck and Boomer were honeyed and feathered. What's so funny? I don't think it's funny." "Apollo. Look down at yourself." Apollo could hear his father's laughter as he ran back to his quarters. Down the now crowded hallway. "Were the hell did all these people come from?" He mumbled to himself, as he closed the door behind him. ***** Two Centars Later The OC was crowded. It seemed to Apollo that everyone was there that night. They were all laughing and joking around. He knew some of them were laughing about what he did that afternoon, running down the hall naked. He was still embarrassed about it, but Starbuck insisted on coming here, and he just couldn't say no to Starbuck. So here he was, being laughed at. He saw Boomer and Giles sitting at the table. They had both managed to get all the feathers washed off them, as did Starbuck. At least that was fun. He had enjoyed helping Starbuck wash all the feathers and honey off his body, even though the feathers did glog up the drain. Starbuck pulled Apollo over to the table and made him sit down. A drink was quickly put in front of him and Boomer stood to give a toast "I salute our most beloved streaker." And the whole room cheered. Apollo's face had never been as red as it was at that moment. "Come on Apollo, by this time tomorrow everyone will have forgotten about it." Starbuck tried to cheer him up. Looking into his lovers eyes, Apollo couldn't help but laugh at himself. The warriors were all enjoying themselves. Laughing, singing, drinking, some playing cards, others telling jokes. In fact they were having such a good time that no one noticed the door slide open to reveal the same black clad intruder who had stood at the foot of Apollo's bed. No one noticed what he was doing. Suddenly the OC was filled with the sounds of Colonial Warriors screaming as the black clad intruder let them have it. With the hose normally used for fighting fires. Colonel Tigh couldn't believe it. He had seen the trickster. He knew who it was. "No." He thought to himself, "It couldn't be. He would never do such things. No. He is the last person who would play such silly practical jokes on people." ***** The trickster quickly ran into the alcove and opened the secret door that led to the outer hallways of the ship. No one knew of these hallways, once used for quickly moving supplies from one end of the Galactica to the other. They had fallen into disuse almost a hundred yahren ago, until now. Just inside the door way he swiftly changed from his disguise and into his regular clothing, thus believing no one suspected him. Inside the OC the wet warriors picked themselves up off the floor. They were all very very angry. Starbuck started to whine, "Ooooohhhhh, that's just not fair. I've been hit three times today. What the guy doesn't think covering me with honey and feathers was enough?" "Hey Bucko, don't forget that me, Boomer and Bojay were covered in that stuff too." Giles whined back at him. Jolly joked, "At least this time no one's naked." The others all laughed at that remark, all except Apollo, he was getting furious. "We have got to stop this guy. This is getting ridicules. No ones safe, not even in our own quarters. And the OC is a place to have fun and relax, we shouldn't have to watch our backs in here." "Yeah, well how are we going to catch him? No one knows who it is." Someone called out. Apollo thought a minute, "Oh, I don't know. But he disappears fast. That means he has a hiding place. Close by." "And he knows when the barracks are empty, so he has time to set the timers in the turbowashes." Sheba added, her hair and skin still red from the dye. Boomer then realized, "That means he knows everyone's schedule. Who's on patrol, who's getting off duty. And he must have watching that little joke that was played out on us. How else would he have known you took Starbuck to your quarters to get cleaned up? Plus he knows you two are lovers, or else he wouldn't have you would have been doing... well... what you were doing." Now Boomer's face was red. "Everyone knows those two are lovers, Boomer. They haven't kept it secret." Bojay said. "OK, so who knows everyone's schedules. Besides Apollo, who we defiantly know didn't do any of this?" Athena asked. Apollo didn't want to say it but he had to, sighing loudly he said, "Only three others. Omega, Colonel Tigh and... Commander Adama." Everyone was silent. No one could even imagine any of those three playing jokes like this. And the Commander would never throw ice water on his own son, would he? ***** Colonel Tigh went straight to his quarters. He had to think about this. He had to be wrong, that could not have the trickster. The Colonel was so wrapped up in his thoughts, that he didn't notice the bucket above his door. As the door opened, it triggered the lever that caused the bucket to flip over, spilling yellow dye all over the unsuspecting Colonel. ***** "I`LL KILL HIM!" The scream could be heard all the way to the OC. The warriors all looked at each other. Then they headed out the door and down the hall to the source of the scream. They all stopped and stared at the Colonel, covered in yellow dye. "Well we know this trickster isn't the Colonel," Starbuck giggled. "I`ll get him, I tell you all now, I am going to get him. I saw who it was. I saw him spray down the OC. And then I saw him run away. He doesn't know I saw him, but I did. I didn't want to believe it. But now he's made me mad. I'm going to get him. I will beat him at his own game. Oh yes, time for the trickster to have a trick played on him." The Colonel then turned and marched away. Without telling the warriors who the trickster was. ***** Two days went by and not a sign of the trickster. Everyone was getting jumpy. The slightest noise would send warriors scurrying for cover under beds, into closets, anywhere they could hide. And no one was brave enough to enter the turbowash. They were all afraid if they did they would get either dye or honey, or some other substance poured on them, and they were starting to smell. Starbuck glanced at Apollo. "What if we went to the Rising Star. Maybe we could rent a room and have a turbowash over there. We can be quiet about it then no one would know." Apollo wasn't sure if that was a good idea or not. He had believed his turbowash was safe, but when he turned the water on and stepped back to watch it, he soon discovered someone had rigged it up to send out a dark purple dye, five centons after it was turned on. Now wouldn't that have made him look cute? "Whoever this trickster is, he would find out, and come and get us." "Well we have to do something. I feel grubby, and dirty, and I don't smell too good." Starbuck whined. Apollo knew how Starbuck felt, but there wasn't much that could be done about it. "Everyone's in the same condition Starbuck. We're all afraid to have a turbowash, and everyone is starting to stink." Starbuck thought of something, "Hey, the timer was set up on your turbowash, but what about the tub. Couldn't we have a bath, that would be fun, soaking in the tub together." "You know, you're right. And we don't have to get in until it's full, that way we don't get any of the dye on us if does start flowing in. Come on, loverboy. I'm gonna wash that gorgeous cock of yours." "Apollo I do believe you can read my mind." As the boys left, a small hole in the wall was suddenly covered up. Behind the wall the trickster was snickering to himself. "Ha ha ha ha ha, no one escapes my tricks, Apollo. You two may think you have out smarted me, but you have another thing coming. Ha ha ha ha ha." The two warriors watched the tub fill. The water stayed warm and clear, with no sign of any dye. Smiling at each other, they quickly undressed and entered the tub, sitting down with a sigh of relief. They gently soak down each other's hair, applied shampoo and started washing .The tub was large, and it was possible for both of them to lie down side by side, which they did to rinse the shampoo from each other's hair. The trickster slowly opened the peep hole, allowing him a good view into Apollo's turbowash, directly above the tub. He saw the two men, concentrating on nothing but each other's bodies. He grinned evilly as he thought about what he was about to do. The grin grew wider, as he reached down and turned the knob that controlled the water pipe to the turbowash. Both warriors looked up in horror as the turbowash came on all by it's self, but now instead of shooting purple dye all over them, it was black. They jumped out of the tub, but somehow the faucet followed them, in whatever direction they went. They couldn't get out of the room, not until they were completely covered in the black dye. When they finally did get out Apollo realized something. "Starbuck, someone was behind that wall, watching us." "But how Apollo? How did they get behind the wall?" "I don't know. But I'm gonna find out" ***** The computer tech just looked at Starbuck and Apollo. Their faces and hair now pitch black. He couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sorry guys, it's just that you do look funny." "Can we get on with what we came here for?" Apollo used his most authoritative voice. "Yeah, sure, no problem. But what do you guys need blueprints of the ship for? You planning on building a model?" "That's for us to know." Apollo told him sternly. He didn't want word of this getting out, especially to the trickster. Sitting down at the table, the two warriors looked at the papers. Apollo quickly found what he was looking for. "Just what I thought. Look here Starbuck. These are passageways, behind the main walls. They go all over the ship, and their connected by stairways to each level. If a person knew about these passageways they could go all over the Galactica pulling these pranks on everyone and never get caught. And there are also doorways into the main part of the ship. Here's one by my quarters. that's why I lost that guy so fast." "OK, so we know how this guy is pulling the pranks. but we still don't know who it is." "I think I do. Look here." Apollo pointed to a mark on the paper that showed where a doorway was. "Yeah, that's a door, so what?" Starbuck was a bit confused now. How did a door show Apollo who the trickster is? "Not just any door Starbuck. That door opens up into the trickster's quarters. In fact, it's the only door that opens up directly into someone's quarters." Starbuck looked again. His eyes went wide, "I don't believe it." ***** The trickster was proud of himself. He had gotten Apollo and Starbuck, again. It was all he could not to burst out laughing each time he saw them now, covered in that black dye. Well, wait until tonight at dinner, it was the warrior's dinner. When every yahren all the warrior's got together for dinner. The only time they all sat down together to enjoy a meal. They all had orders to be there. No one was excused from it. "Ha ha ha ha ha, just wait." The trickster snickered. ***** Commander Adama thought this was certainly the most unusual Warrior's Dinner he had ever attended. Athena, Sheba, Brie and Detria were still red, although it was starting to fade. Tigh`s face and hair were yellow, a bright glowing yellow. And then there was his son and Starbuck. They were both black. Pitch black. And it was fresh, just happening the night before. He had to laugh at them, they looked so funny. "What's so funny Adama?" Sire Anton asked him. "Oh, I was just admiring some of my warriors new styles." Adama chuckled. "Yes, the Council has found this trickster's antics to be most amusing. A nice reprieve from our boring lives. Of course it helps that it's only the warriors who have been targeted. It wouldn't be funny if it was us now would it.?" "Oh no. I don't think he would target us, and no that would not be funny at all." Adama grinned. Apollo looked up at the head table, where the council and his father and colonel Tigh were sitting. "Look at him Starbuck, sitting there so smug. Not knowing we saw what he had planned for us all. Not knowing we changed things around so that he's the one the joke will be played on. I can hardly wait to see the look on his face." Apollo, Starbuck, Boomer and Giles and found a way into the secret passage ways, and found the trickster rigging up his little surprise. When he left, they switched things around. Now the joke would be played on those sitting at the head table. The four warriors were quite proud of themselves. The required speeches were given, all boring as usual, and then it was time to eat. After each person was served their meal, and they bent down to start eating, the trickster reached into his pocket and pushed the button on his remote control. The warriors all looked up and burst out laughing as everyone at the head table was drenched in whipped cream. When the cream stopped flowing a huge sign was seen hanging down from the ceiling. On it, in huge letters was written; "Jokes on you now trickster. What are going to do about it?" Everyone now knew that the trickster was sitting at the head table. But who was it? ***** "Ready guys?" Apollo asked Starbuck and Boomer. "Ready." Both replied. Apollo then pressed a button on his own remote control and chocolate ice-cream topping came flowing down from the ceiling. Completely covering the Commander and Council members. The Warriors all cheered even louder. Then it was Starbuck's turn. His remote released ice-cream, now completely melted, to the chocolate and whipped cream. Boomer's remote added the finishing touch. Somehow they had managed to rig up a deluge of cherries, peanuts and candy sprinkles to add to the humiliation of those sitting at the head table. Further embarrassment was added when Bojay and Giles rushed up and started taking photographs of the mess. Sire Anton was furious. He stood up and threw his napkin at Commander Adama. "You bumbling idiot. You were suppose to rig the whipped cream to cover the warriors, not us. And no one said anything about chocolate and ... and whatever this other stuff is. And why are those two taking pictures. That was not part of the plan." Another Councilor stood up and yelled at Anton, "*Shut up, you fool. Now everyone knows the entire council was behind these jokes.* Great, just great." Starbuck looked at Apollo and said, "When this meal is over, you want to go back to your place and lick chocolate off each other?" "Sure. Sounds like fun." The End